Thereisthusaconsciousandvoluntarywayandaninvoluntaryandunconsciouswayinwhichmentalresultsmaygetaccomplished;
andwefindbothwaysexemplifiedinthehistoryofconversion,givingustwotypes,whichStarbuckcallsthevolitionaltypeandthetypebyself-surrenderrespectively。
Inthevolitionaltypetheregenerativechangeisusuallygradual,andconsistsinthebuildingup,piecebypiece,ofanewsetofmoralandspiritualhabits。Buttherearealwayscriticalpointshereatwhichthemovementforwardseemsmuchmorerapid。ThispsychologicalfactisabundantlyillustratedbyDr。Starbuck。Oureducationinanypracticalaccomplishmentproceedsapparentlybyjerksandstartsjustasthegrowthofourphysicalbodiesdoes。
“Anathlete……sometimesawakenssuddenlytoanunderstandingofthefinepointsofthegameandtoarealenjoymentofit,justastheconvertawakenstoanappreciationofreligion。Ifhekeepsonengaginginthesport,theremaycomeadaywhenallatoncethegameplaysitselfthroughhim——whenheloseshimselfinsomegreatcontest。Inthesameway,amusicianmaysuddenlyreachapointatwhichpleasureinthetechniqueoftheartentirelyfallsaway,andinsomemomentofinspirationhebecomestheinstrumentthroughwhichmusicflows。Thewriterhaschancedtoheartwodifferentmarriedpersons,bothofwhoseweddedliveshadbeenbeautifulfromthebeginning,relatethatnotuntilayearormoreaftermarriagedidtheyawaketothefullblessednessofmarriedlife。Soitiswiththereligiousexperienceofthesepersonswearestudying。”[109]
[109]PsychologyofReligion,p。385。Compare,also,pp。137-144
and262。
Weshallerelonghearstillmoreremarkableillustrationsofsubconsciouslymaturingprocesseseventuatinginresultsofwhichwesuddenlygrowconscious。SirWilliamHamiltonandProfessorLaycockofEdinburghwereamongthefirsttocallattentiontothisclassofeffects;butDr。Carpenterfirst,unlessIammistaken,introducedtheterm“unconsciouscerebration。”whichhassincethenbeenapopularphraseofexplanation。Thefactsarenowknowntousfarmoreextensivelythanhecouldknowthem,andtheadjective“unconscious。”beingformanyofthemalmostcertainlyamisnomer,isbetterreplacedbythevaguerterm“subconscious“or“subliminal。”
Ofthevolitionaltypeofconversionitwouldbeeasytogiveexamples,[110]buttheyareasarulelessinterestingthanthoseoftheself-surrendertype,inwhichthesubconsciouseffectsaremoreabundantandoftenstartling。Iwillthereforehurrytothelatter,themoresobecausethedifferencebetweenthetwotypesisafterallnotradical。Eveninthemostvoluntarilybuilt-upsortofregenerationtherearepassagesofpartialself-surrenderinterposed;andinthegreatmajorityofallcases,whenthewillhaddoneitsuttermosttowardsbringingoneclosetothecompleteunificationaspiredafter,itseemsthattheverylaststepmustbelefttootherforcesandperformedwithoutthehelpofitsactivity。Inotherwords,self-surrenderbecomesthenindispensable。“Thepersonalwill。”
saysDr。Starbuck,“mustbegivenup。Inmanycasesreliefpersistentlyrefusestocomeuntilthepersonceasestoresist,ortomakeaneffortinthedirectionhedesirestogo。”
[110]Forinstance,C。G。Finneyitalicizesthevolitionalelement:“JustatthispointthewholequestionofGospelsalvationopenedtomymindinamannermostmarveloustomeatthetime。IthinkIthensaw,asclearlyasIeverhaveinmylife,therealityandfullnessoftheatonementofChrist。
Gospelsalvationseemedtometobeanofferofsomethingtobeaccepted,andallthatwasnecessaryonmyparttogetmyownconsenttogiveupmysinsandacceptChrist。Afterthisdistinctrevelationhadstoodforsomelittletimebeforemymind,thequestionseemedtobeput,’willyouacceptitnow,to-day?’Ireplied,’Yes;Iwillacceptitto-day,orIwilldieintheattempt!’“Hethenwentintothewoods,wherehedescribeshisstruggles。Hecouldnotpray,hisheartwashardenedinitspride。“IthenreproachedmyselfforhavingpromisedtogivemyhearttoGodbeforeIleftthewoods。WhenI
cametotry,IfoundIcouldnot……Myinwardsoulhungback,andtherewasnogoingoutofmyhearttoGod。Thethoughtwaspressingme,oftherashnessofmypromisethatIwouldgivemyhearttoGodthatday,ordieintheattempt。Itseemedtomeasifthatwasbindingonmysoul;andyetIwasgoingtobreakmyvow。Agreatsinkinganddiscouragementcameoverme,andI
feltalmosttooweaktostanduponmyknees。JustatthismomentIagainthoughtIheardsomeoneapproachme,andIopenedmyeyestoseewhetheritwereso。Butrighttheretherevelationofmyprideofheart,asthegreatdifficultythatstoodintheway,wasdistinctlyshowntome。AnoverwhelmingsenseofmywickednessinbeingashamedtohaveahumanbeingseemeonmykneesbeforeGodtooksuchpowerfulpossessionofme,thatI
criedatthetopofmyvoice,andexclaimedthatIwouldnotleavethatplaceifallthemenonearthandallthedevilsinhellsurroundedme。’What!’Isaid,’suchadegradedsinnerasI
am,onmykneesconfessingmysinstothegreatandholyGod;andashamedtohaveanyhumanbeing,andasinnerlikemyself,findmeonmykneesendeavoringtomakemypeacewithmyoffendedGod!’Thesinappearedawful,infinite。ItbrokemedownbeforetheLord。”Memoirs,pp。14-16,abridged。
“IhadsaidIwouldnotgiveup;butwhenmywillwasbroken,itwasallover。”writesoneofStarbuck’scorrespondents——Anothersays:“Isimplysaid:’Lord,IhavedoneallIcan;IleavethewholematterwithThee,’andimmediatelytherecametomeagreatpeace。”——Another:“AllatonceitoccurredtomethatImightbesaved,too,ifIwouldstoptryingtodoitallmyself,andfollowJesus:somehowIlostmyload。”——Another:“Ifinallyceasedtoresist,andgavemyselfup,thoughitwasahardstruggle。GraduallythefeelingcameovermethatIhaddonemypart,andGodwaswillingtodohis。”[111]——“LordThywillbedone;damnorsave!”criesJohnNelson,[112]exhaustedwiththeanxiousstruggletoescapedamnation;andatthatmomenthissoulwasfilledwithpeace。
[111]Starbuck:Op。cit。,pp。91,114。
[112]ExtractsfromtheJournalofMr。JohnNelson,London,nodate,p。24。
Dr。Starbuckgivesaninteresting,anditseemstomeatrue,account——sofarasconceptionssoschematiccanclaimtruthatall——ofthereasonswhyself-surrenderatthelastmomentshouldbesoindispensable。Tobeginwith,therearetwothingsinthemindofthecandidateforconversion:first,thepresentincompletenessorwrongness,the“sin“whichheiseagertoescapefrom;and,second,thepositiveidealwhichhelongstocompass。Nowwithmostofusthesenseofourpresentwrongnessisafarmoredistinctpieceofourconsciousnessthanistheimaginationofanypositiveidealwecanaimat。Inamajorityofcases,indeed,the“sin“almostexclusivelyengrossestheattention,sothatconversionis“aprocessofstrugglingawayfromsinratherthanofstrivingtowardsrighteousness。”[113]A
man’sconsciouswitandwill,sofarastheystraintowardstheideal,areaimingatsomethingonlydimlyandinaccuratelyimagined。Yetallthewhiletheforcesofmereorganicripeningwithinhimaregoingontowardstheirownprefiguredresult,andhisconsciousstrainingsarelettingloosesubconsciousalliesbehindthescenes,whichintheirwayworktowardsrearrangement;
andtherearrangementtowardswhichallthesedeeperforcestendisprettysurelydefinite,anddefinitelydifferentfromwhatheconsciouslyconceivesanddetermines。ItmayconsequentlybeactuallyinterferedwithJAMMED,asitwere,likethelostwordwhenweseektooenergeticallytorecallit,byhisvoluntaryeffortsslantingfromthetruedirection。
[113]Starbuck,p。64。
Starbuckseemstoputhisfingerontherootofthematterwhenhesaysthattoexercisethepersonalwillisstilltoliveintheregionwheretheimperfectselfisthethingmostemphasized。
Where,onthecontrary,thesubconsciousforcestakethelead,itismoreprobablythebetterselfinpossewhichdirectstheoperation。Insteadofbeingclumsilyandvaguelyaimedatfromwithout,itisthenitselftheorganizingcentre。Whatthenmustthepersondo?“Hemustrelax。”saysDr。Starbuck——“thatis,hemustfallbackonthelargerPowerthatmakesforrighteousness,whichhasbeenwellingupinhisownbeing,andletitfinishinitsownwaytheworkithasbegun……Theactofyielding,inthispointofview,isgivingone’sselfovertothenewlife,makingitthecentreofanewpersonality,andliving,fromwithin,thetruthofitwhichhadbeforebeenviewedobjectively。”[114]
[114]Starbuck,p。115。
“Man’sextremityisGod’sopportunity“isthetheologicalwayofputtingthisfactoftheneedofself-surrender;whilstthephysiologicalwayofstatingitwouldbe,“Letonedoallinone’spower,andone’snervoussystemwilldotherest。”Bothstatementsacknowledgethesamefact。[115]
[115]Starbuck,p。113。
Tostateitintermsofourownsymbolism:Whenthenewcentreofpersonalenergyhasbeensubconsciouslyincubatedsolongastobejustreadytoopenintoflower,“handsoff“istheonlywordforus,itmustburstforthunaided!
Wehaveusedthevagueandabstractlanguageofpsychology。Butsince,inanyterms,thecrisisdescribedisthethrowingofourconsciousselvesuponthemercyofpowerswhich,whatevertheymaybe,aremoreidealthanweareactually,andmakeforourredemption,youseewhyself-surrenderhasbeenandalwaysmustberegardedasthevitalturning-pointofthereligiouslife,sofarasthereligiouslifeisspiritualandnoaffairofouterworksandritualandsacraments。OnemaysaythatthewholedevelopmentofChristianityininwardnesshasconsistedinlittlemorethanthegreaterandgreateremphasisattachedtothiscrisisofself-surrender。FromCatholicismtoLutheranism,andthentoCalvinism;fromthattoWesleyanism;andfromthis,outsideoftechnicalChristianityaltogether,topure“liberalism“ortranscendentalidealism,whetherornotofthemind-curetype,takinginthemediaevalmystics,thequietists,thepietists,andquakersbytheway,wecantracethestagesofprogresstowardstheideaofanimmediatespiritualhelp,experiencedbytheindividualinhisforlornnessandstandinginnoessentialneedofdoctrinalapparatusorpropitiatorymachinery。
Psychologyandreligionarethusinperfectharmonyuptothispoint,sincebothadmitthatthereareforcesseeminglyoutsideoftheconsciousindividualthatbringredemptiontohislife。
Neverthelesspsychology,definingtheseforcesas“subconscious。”
andspeakingoftheireffects,asdueto“incubation。”or“cerebration。”impliesthattheydonottranscendtheindividual’spersonality;andhereinshedivergesfromChristiantheology,whichinsiststhattheyaredirectsupernaturaloperationsoftheDeity。Iproposetoyouthatwedonotyetconsiderthisdivergencefinal,butleavethequestionforawhileinabeyance——continuedinquirymayenableustogetridofsomeoftheapparentdiscord。
Revert,then,foramomentmoretothepsychologyofself-surrender。
Whenyoufindamanlivingontheraggededgeofhisconsciousness,pentintohissinandwantandincompleteness,andconsequentlyinconsolable,andthensimplytellhimthatalliswellwithhim,thathemuststophisworry,breakwithhisdiscontent,andgiveuphisanxiety,youseemtohimtocomewithpureabsurdities。TheonlypositiveconsciousnesshehastellshimthatallisNOTwell,andthebetterwayyouoffersoundssimplyasifyouproposedtohimtoassertcold-bloodedfalsehoods。“Thewilltobelieve“cannotbestretchedasfarasthat。Wecanmakeourselvesmorefaithfultoabeliefofwhichwehavetherudiments,butwecannotcreateabeliefoutofwholeclothwhenourperceptionactivelyassuresusofitsopposite。
Thebettermindproposedtouscomesinthatcaseintheformofapurenegationoftheonlymindwehave,andwecannotactivelywillapurenegation。
Thereareonlytwowaysinwhichitispossibletogetridofanger,worry,fear,despair,orotherundesirableaffections。
Oneisthatanoppositeaffectionshouldoverpoweringlybreakoverus,andtheotherisbygettingsoexhaustedwiththestrugglethatwehavetostop——sowedropdown,giveup,andDON’TCAREanylonger。Ouremotionalbrain-centresstrikework,andwelapseintoatemporaryapathy。Nowthereisdocumentaryproofthatthisstateoftemporaryexhaustionnotinfrequentlyformspartoftheconversioncrisis。Solongastheegoisticworryofthesicksoulguardsthedoor,theexpansiveconfidenceofthesouloffaithgainsnopresence。Butlettheformerfaintaway,evenbutforamoment,andthelattercanprofitbytheopportunity,and,havingonceacquiredpossession,mayretainit。
Carlyle’sTeufelsdrockhpassesfromtheeverlastingNototheeverlastingYesthrougha“CentreofIndifference。”
Letmegiveyouagoodillustrationofthisfeatureintheconversionprocess。Thatgenuinesaint,DavidBrainerd,describeshisowncrisisinthefollowingwords: