Raskolnikovwasalreadyenteringtheroom。Hecameinlookingasthoughhehadtheutmostdifficultynottoburstoutlaughingagain。BehindhimRazumihinstrodeingawkyandawkward,shamefacedandredasapeony,withanutterlycrestfallenandferociousexpression。HisfaceandwholefigurereallywereridiculousatthatmomentandamplyjustifiedRaskolnikov’slaughter。Raskolnikov,notwaitingforanintroduction,bowedtoPorfiryPetrovitch,whostoodinthemiddleoftheroomlookinginquiringlyatthem。Heheldouthishandandshookhands,stillapparentlymakingdesperateeffortstosubduehismirthandutterafewwordstointroducehimself。ButhehadnosoonersucceededinassumingaseriousairandmutteringsomethingwhenhesuddenlyglancedagainasthoughaccidentallyatRazumihin,andcouldnolongercontrolhimself:hisstifledlaughterbrokeoutthemoreirresistiblythemorehetriedtorestrainit。TheextraordinaryferocitywithwhichRazumihinreceivedthis“spontaneous”mirthgavethewholescenetheappearanceofmostgenuinefunandnaturalness。Razumihinstrengthenedthisimpressionasthoughonpurpose。
“Fool!Youfiend,”heroared,wavinghisarmwhichatoncestruckalittleroundtablewithanemptytea-glassonit。Everythingwassentflyingandcrashing。
“Butwhybreakchairs,gentlemen?Youknowit’salosstotheCrown,”PorfiryPetrovitchquotedgaily。
Raskolnikovwasstilllaughing,withhishandinPorfiryPetrovitch’s,butanxiousnottooverdoit,awaitedtherightmomenttoputanaturalendtoit。Razumihin,completelyputtoconfusionbyupsettingthetableandsmashingtheglass,gazedgloomilyatthefragments,cursedandturnedsharplytothewindowwherehestoodlookingoutwithhisbacktothecompanywithafiercelyscowlingcountenance,seeingnothing。PorfiryPetrovitchlaughedandwasreadytogoonlaughing,butobviouslylookedforexplanations。Zametovhadbeensittinginthecorner,butheroseatthevisitors’entranceandwasstandinginexpectationwithasmileonhislips,thoughhelookedwithsurpriseandevenitseemedincredulityatthewholesceneandatRaskolnikovwithacertainembarrassment。Zametov’sunexpectedpresencestruckRaskolnikovunpleasantly。
“I’vegottothinkofthat,”hethought。“Excuseme,please,”hebegan,affectingextremeembarrassment。“Raskolnikov。”
“Notatall,verypleasanttoseeyou…andhowpleasantlyyou’vecomein。…Why,won’theevensaygood-morning?”PorfiryPetrovitchnoddedatRazumihin。
“UponmyhonourIdon’tknowwhyheisinsucharagewithme。IonlytoldhimaswecamealongthathewaslikeRomeo…andprovedit。Andthatwasall,Ithink!”
“Pig!”ejaculatedRazumihin,withoutturninground。
“Theremusthavebeenverygravegroundsforit,ifheissofuriousattheword,”Porfirylaughed。
“Oh,yousharplawyer!…Damnyouall!”snappedRazumihin,andsuddenlyburstingoutlaughinghimself,hewentuptoPorfirywithamorecheerfulfaceasthoughnothinghadhappened。“That’lldo!Weareallfools。Tocometobusiness。ThisismyfriendRodionRomanovitchRaskolnikov;inthefirstplacehehasheardofyouandwantstomakeyouracquaintance,andsecondly,hehasalittlematterofbusinesswithyou。Bah!Zametov,whatbroughtyouhere?Haveyoumetbefore?Haveyouknowneachotherlong?”
“Whatdoesthismean?”thoughtRaskolnikovuneasily。
Zametovseemedtakenaback,butnotverymuchso。
“Why,itwasatyourroomswemetyesterday,”hesaideasily。
“ThenIhavebeensparedthetrouble。Alllastweekhewasbeggingmetointroducehimtoyou。Porfiryandyouhavesniffedeachotheroutwithoutme。Whereisyourtobacco?”
PorfiryPetrovitchwaswearingadressing-gown,verycleanlinen,andtrodden-downslippers。Hewasamanofaboutfiveandthirty,short,stouteventocorpulence,andcleanshaven。Heworehishaircutshortandhadalargeroundhead,particularlyprominentattheback。Hissoft,round,rathersnub-nosedfacewasofasicklyyellowishcolour,buthadavigorousandratherironicalexpression。Itwouldhavebeengood-naturedexceptforalookintheeyes,whichshonewithawatery,mawkishlightunderalmostwhite,blinkingeyelashes。Theexpressionofthoseeyeswasstrangelyoutofkeepingwithhissomewhatwomanishfigure,andgaveitsomethingfarmoreseriousthancouldbeguessedatfirstsight。
AssoonasPorfiryPetrovitchheardthathisvisitorhadalittlematterofbusinesswithhim,hebeggedhimtositdownonthesofaandsatdownhimselfontheotherend,waitingforhimtoexplainhisbusiness,withthatcarefulandover-seriousattentionwhichisatonceoppressiveandembarrassing,especiallytoastranger,andespeciallyifwhatyouarediscussingisinyouropinionoffartoolittleimportanceforsuchexceptionalsolemnity。ButinbriefandcoherentphrasesRaskolnikovexplainedhisbusinessclearlyandexactly,andwassowellsatisfiedwithhimselfthatheevensucceededintakingagoodlookatPorfiry。PorfiryPetrovitchdidnotoncetakehiseyesoffhim。Razumihin,sittingoppositeatthesametable,listenedwarmlyandimpatiently,lookingfromonetotheothereverymomentwithratherexcessiveinterest。
“Fool,”Raskolnikovsworetohimself。
“Youhavetogiveinformationtothepolice,”Porfiryreplied,withamostbusinesslikeair,“thathavinglearntofthisincident,thatisofthemurder,youbegtoinformthelawyerinchargeofthecasethatsuchandsuchthingsbelongtoyou,andthatyoudesiretoredeemthem…or…buttheywillwritetoyou。”
“That’sjustthepoint,thatatthepresentmoment,”Raskolnikovtriedhisutmosttofeignembarrassment,“Iamnotquiteinfunds…andeventhistriflingsumisbeyondme…Ionlywanted,yousee,forthepresenttodeclarethatthethingsaremine,andthatwhenIhavemoney。…”
“That’snomatter,”answeredPorfiryPetrovitch,receivinghisexplanationofhispecuniarypositioncoldly,“butyoucan,ifyouprefer,writestraighttome,tosay,thathavingbeeninformedofthematter,andclaimingsuchandsuchasyourproperty,youbeg…”
“Onanordinarysheetofpaper?”Raskolnikovinterruptedeagerly,againinterestedinthefinancialsideofthequestion。
“Oh,themostordinary,”andsuddenlyPorfiryPetrovitchlookedwithobviousironyathim,screwinguphiseyesand,asitwere,winkingathim。ButperhapsitwasRaskolnikov’sfancy,foritalllastedbutamoment。Therewascertainlysomethingofthesort,Raskolnikovcouldhaveswornhewinkedathim,goodnessknowswhy。
“Heknows,”flashedthroughhismindlikelightning。
“Forgivemytroublingyouaboutsuchtrifles,”hewenton,alittledisconcerted,“thethingsareonlyworthfiveroubles,butIprizethemparticularlyforthesakeofthosefromwhomtheycametome,andImustconfessthatIwasalarmedwhenIheard…”
“That’swhyyouweresomuchstruckwhenImentionedtoZossimovthatPorfirywasinquiringforeveryonewhohadpledges!”Razumihinputinwithobviousintention。
Thiswasreallyunbearable。Raskolnikovcouldnothelpglancingathimwithaflashofvindictiveangerinhisblackeyes,butimmediatelyrecollectedhimself。
“Youseemtobejeeringatme,brother?”hesaidtohim,withawell-feignedirritability。“IdaresayIdoseemtoyouabsurdlyanxiousaboutsuchtrash;butyoumustn’tthinkmeselfishorgraspingforthat,andthesetwothingsmaybeanythingbuttrashinmyeyes。Itoldyoujustnowthatthesilverwatch,thoughit’snotworthacent,istheonlythingleftusofmyfather’s。Youmaylaughatme,butmymotherishere,”heturnedsuddenlytoPorfiry,“andifsheknew,”heturnedagainhurriedlytoRazumihin,carefullymakinghisvoicetremble,“thatthewatchwaslost,shewouldbeindespair!Youknowwhatwomenare!”
“Notabitofit!Ididn’tmeanthatatall!Quitethecontrary!”shoutedRazumihindistressed。
“Wasitright?Wasitnatural?DidIoverdoit?”Raskolnikovaskedhimselfinatremor。“WhydidIsaythataboutwomen?”
“Oh,yourmotheriswithyou?”PorfiryPetrovitchinquired。
“Yes。”
“Whendidshecome?”
“night。”
Porfirypausedasthoughreflecting。
“Yourthingswouldnotinanycasebelost,”hewentoncalmlyandcoldly。“Ihavebeenexpectingyouhereforsometime。”
Andasthoughthatwasamatterofnoimportance,hecarefullyofferedtheash-traytoRazumihin,whowasruthlesslyscatteringcigaretteashoverthecarpet。Raskolnikovshuddered,butPorfirydidnotseemtobelookingathim,andwasstillconcernedwithRazumihin’scigarette。
“What?Expectinghim?Why,didyouknowthathehadpledgesthere?”criedRazumihin。
PorfiryPetrovitchaddressedhimselftoRaskolnikov。
“Yourthings,theringandthewatch,werewrappeduptogether,andonthepaperyournamewaslegiblywritteninpencil,togetherwiththedateonwhichyouleftthemwithher…”
“Howobservantyouare!”Raskolnikovsmiledawkwardly,doinghisveryutmosttolookhimstraightintheface,buthefailed,andsuddenlyadded:
“IsaythatbecauseIsupposetherewereagreatmanypledges…thatitmustbedifficulttorememberthemall。…Butyourememberthemallsoclearly,and…and…”
“Stupid!Feeble!”hethought。“WhydidIaddthat?”
“Butweknowallwhohadpledges,andyouaretheonlyonewhohasn’tcomeforward,”Porfiryansweredwithhardlyperceptibleirony。
“Ihaven’tbeenquitewell。”
“Iheardthattoo。Iheard,indeed,thatyouwereingreatdistressaboutsomething。Youlookpalestill。”
“Iamnotpaleatall。…No,Iamquitewell,”Raskolnikovsnappedoutrudelyandangrily,completelychanginghistone。Hisangerwasmounting,hecouldnotrepressit。“AndinmyangerIshallbetraymyself,”flashedthroughhismindagain。“Whyaretheytorturingme?”
“Notquitewell!”Razumihincaughthimup。“Whatnext!Hewasunconsciousanddeliriousallyesterday。Wouldyoubelieve,Porfiry,assoonasourbackswereturned,hedressed,thoughhecouldhardlystand,andgaveustheslipandwentoffonaspreesomewheretillmidnight,deliriousallthetime!Wouldyoubelieveit!Extraordinary!”
“Reallydelirious?Youdon’tsayso!”Porfiryshookhisheadinawomanishway。
“Nonsense!Don’tyoubelieveit!Butyoudon’tbelieveitanyway,”Raskolnikovletslipinhisanger。ButPorfiryPetrovitchdidnotseemtocatchthosestrangewords。
“Buthowcouldyouhavegoneoutifyouhadn’tbeendelirious?”Razumihingothotsuddenly。“Whatdidyougooutfor?Whatwastheobjectofit?Andwhyonthesly?Wereyouinyoursenseswhenyoudidit?NowthatalldangerisoverIcanspeakplainly。”
“Iwasawfullysickofthemyesterday。”RaskolnikovaddressedPorfirysuddenlywithasmileofinsolentdefiance,“Iranawayfromthemtotakelodgingswheretheywouldn’tfindme,andtookalotofmoneywithme。Mr。Zametovtheresawit。Isay,Mr。Zametov,wasIsensibleordeliriousyesterday;settleourdispute。”
HecouldhavestrangledZametovatthatmoment,sohatefulwerehisexpressionandhissilencetohim。
“Inmyopinionyoutalkedsensiblyandevenartfully,butyouwereextremelyirritable,”Zametovpronounceddryly。
“AndNikodimFomitchwastellingmeto-day,”putinPorfiryPetrovitch,“thathemetyouverylatelastnightinthelodgingofamanwhohadbeenrunover。”
“Andthere,”saidRazumihin,“weren’tyoumadthen?Yougaveyourlastpennytothewidowforthefuneral。Ifyouwantedtohelp,givefifteenortwentyeven,butkeepthreeroublesforyourselfatleast,butheflungawayallthetwenty-fiveatonce!”
“MaybeIfoundatreasuresomewhereandyouknownothingofit?Sothat’swhyIwasliberalyesterday。…Mr。ZametovknowsI’vefoundatreasure!Excuseus,please,fordisturbingyouforhalfanhourwithsuchtrivialities,”hesaid,turningtoPorfiryPetrovitch,withtremblinglips。“Weareboringyou,aren’twe?”
“Ohno,quitethecontrary,quitethecontrary!Ifonlyyouknewhowyouinterestme!It’sinterestingtolookonandlisten…andIamreallygladyouhavecomeforwardatlast。”
“Butyoumightgiveussometea!Mythroat’sdry,”criedRazumihin。
“Capitalidea!Perhapswewillallkeepyoucompany。Wouldn’tyoulike…somethingmoreessentialbeforetea?”
“Getalongwithyou!”
PorfiryPetrovitchwentouttoordertea。
Raskolnikov’sthoughtswereinawhirl。Hewasinterribleexasperation。
“Theworstofitistheydon’tdisguiseit;theydon’tcaretostandonceremony!Andhowifyoudidn’tknowmeatall,didyoucometotalktoNikodimFomitchaboutme?Sotheydon’tcaretohidethattheyaretrackingmelikeapackofdogs。Theysimplyspitinmyface。”Hewasshakingwithrage。“Come,strikemeopenly,don’tplaywithmelikeacatwithamouse。It’shardlycivil,PorfiryPetrovitch,butperhapsIwon’tallowit!Ishallgetupandthrowthewholetruthinyouruglyfaces,andyou’llseehowIdespiseyou。”Hecouldhardlybreathe。“Andwhatifit’sonlymyfancy?WhatifIammistaken,andthroughinexperienceIgetangryanddon’tkeepupmynastypart?Perhapsit’sallunintentional。Alltheirphrasesaretheusualones,butthereissomethingaboutthem。…Itallmightbesaid,butthereissomething。Whydidhesaybluntly,‘Withher’?WhydidZametovaddthatIspokeartfully?Whydotheyspeakinthattone?Yes,thetone。…Razumihinissittinghere,whydoesheseenothing?Thatinnocentblockheadneverdoesseeanything!Feverishagain!DidPorfirywinkatmejustnow?Ofcourseit’snonsense!Whatcouldhewinkfor?Aretheytryingtoupsetmynervesoraretheyteasingme?Eitherit’sillfancyortheyknow!EvenZametovisrude。…IsZametovrude?Zametovhaschangedhismind。Iforesawhewouldchangehismind!Heisathomehere,whileit’smyfirstvisit。Porfirydoesnotconsiderhimavisitor;sitswithhisbacktohim。They’reasthickasthieves,nodoubt,overme!Notadoubttheyweretalkingaboutmebeforewecame。Dotheyknowabouttheflat?Ifonlythey’dmakehaste!WhenIsaidthatIranawaytotakeaflatheletitpass。…Iputthatincleverlyaboutaflat,itmaybeofuseafterwards。…Delirious,indeed…ha-ha-ha!Heknowsallaboutlastnight!Hedidn’tknowofmymother’sarrival!Thehaghadwrittenthedateoninpencil!Youarewrong,youwon’tcatchme!Therearenofacts…it’sallsupposition!Youproducefacts!Theflatevenisn’tafactbutdelirium。Iknowwhattosaytothem。…Dotheyknowabouttheflat?Iwon’tgowithoutfindingout。WhatdidIcomefor?Butmybeingangrynow,maybeisafact!Fool,howirritableIam!Perhapsthat’sright;toplaytheinvalid。…Heisfeelingme。Hewilltrytocatchme。WhydidIcome?”
Allthisflashedlikelightningthroughhismind。
PorfiryPetrovitchreturnedquickly。Hebecamesuddenlymorejovial。
“Yourpartyyesterday,brother,hasleftmyheadrather。…AndIamoutofsortsaltogether,”hebeganinquiteadifferenttone,laughingtoRazumihin。
“Wasitinteresting?Ileftyouyesterdayatthemostinterestingpoint。Whogotthebestofit?”
“Oh,noone,ofcourse。Theygotontoeverlastingquestions,floatedoffintospace。”
“Onlyfancy,Rodya,whatwegotontoyesterday。Whetherthereissuchathingascrime。Itoldyouthatwetalkedourheadsoff。”
“Whatistherestrange?It’saneverydaysocialquestion,”Raskolnikovansweredcasually。
“Thequestionwasn’tputquitelikethat,”observedPorfiry。
“Notquite,that’strue,”Razumihinagreedatonce,gettingwarmandhurriedasusual。“Listen,Rodion,andtellusyouropinion,Iwanttohearit。Iwasfightingtoothandnailwiththemandwantedyoutohelpme。Itoldthemyouwerecoming。…Itbeganwiththesocialistdoctrine。Youknowtheirdoctrine;crimeisaprotestagainsttheabnormalityofthesocialorganisationandnothingmore,andnothingmore;noothercausesadmitted!…”
“Youarewrongthere,”criedPorfiryPetrovitch;hewasnoticeablyanimatedandkeptlaughingashelookedatRazumihin,whichmadehimmoreexcitedthanever。
“Nothingisadmitted,”Razumihininterruptedwithheat。
“Iamnotwrong。I’llshowyoutheirpamphlets。Everythingwiththemis‘theinfluenceofenvironment,’andnothingelse。Theirfavouritephrase!Fromwhichitfollowsthat,ifsocietyisnormallyorganised,allcrimewillceaseatonce,sincetherewillbenothingtoprotestagainstandallmenwillbecomerighteousinoneinstant。Humannatureisnottakenintoaccount,itisexcluded,it’snotsupposedtoexist!Theydon’trecognisethathumanity,developingbyahistoricallivingprocess,willbecomeatlastanormalsociety,buttheybelievethatasocialsystemthathascomeoutofsomemathematicalbrainisgoingtoorganiseallhumanityatonceandmakeitjustandsinlessinaninstant,quickerthananylivingprocess!That’swhytheyinstinctivelydislikehistory,‘nothingbutuglinessandstupidityinit,’andtheyexplainitallasstupidity!That’swhytheysodislikethelivingprocessoflife;theydon’twantalivingsoul!Thelivingsouldemandslife,thesoulwon’tobeytherulesofmechanics,thesoulisanobjectofsuspicion,thesoulisretrograde!ButwhattheywantthoughitsmellsofdeathandcanbemadeofIndia-rubber,atleastisnotalive,hasnowill,isservileandwon’trevolt!Anditcomesintheendtotheirreducingeverythingtothebuildingofwallsandtheplanningofroomsandpassagesinaphalanstery!Thephalansteryisready,indeed,butyourhumannatureisnotreadyforthephalanstery—itwantslife,ithasn’tcompleteditsvitalprocess,it’stoosoonforthegraveyard!Youcan’tskipovernaturebylogic。Logicpresupposesthreepossibilities,buttherearemillions!Cutawayamillion,andreduceitalltothequestionofcomfort!That’stheeasiestsolutionoftheproblem!It’sseductivelyclearandyoumusn’tthinkaboutit。That’sthegreatthing,youmustn’tthink!Thewholesecretoflifeintwopagesofprint!”
“Nowheisoff,beatingthedrum!Catchholdofhim,do!”laughedPorfiry。“Canyouimagine,”heturnedtoRaskolnikov,“sixpeopleholdingforthlikethatlastnight,inoneroom,withpunchasapreliminary!No,brother,youarewrong,environmentaccountsforagreatdealincrime;Icanassureyouofthat。”
“Oh,Iknowitdoes,butjusttellme:amanoffortyviolatesachildoften;wasitenvironmentdrovehimtoit?”
“Well,strictlyspeaking,itdid,”Porfiryobservedwithnoteworthygravity;“acrimeofthatnaturemaybeverywellascribedtotheinfluenceofenvironment。”
Razumihinwasalmostinafrenzy。“Oh,ifyoulike,”heroared。“I’llprovetoyouthatyourwhiteeyelashesmayverywellbeascribedtotheChurchofIvantheGreat’sbeingtwohundredandfiftyfeethigh,andIwillproveitclearly,exactly,progressively,andevenwithaLiberaltendency!Iundertaketo!Willyoubetonit?”
“Done!Let’shear,please,howhewillproveit!”
“Heisalwayshumbugging,confoundhim,”criedRazumihin,jumpingupandgesticulating。“What’stheuseoftalkingtoyou?Hedoesallthatonpurpose;youdon’tknowhim,Rodion!Hetooktheirsideyesterday,simplytomakefoolsofthem。Andthethingshesaidyesterday!Andtheyweredelighted!Hecankeepitupforafortnighttogether。yearhepersuadedusthathewasgoingintoamonastery:hestucktoitfortwomonths。Notlongagohetookitintohisheadtodeclarehewasgoingtogetmarried,thathehadeverythingreadyforthewedding。Heorderednewclothesindeed。Weallbegantocongratulatehim。Therewasnobride,nothing,allpurefantasy!”
“Ah,youarewrong!Igottheclothesbefore。Itwasthenewclothesinfactthatmademethinkoftakingyouin。”
“Areyousuchagooddissembler?”Raskolnikovaskedcarelessly。
“Youwouldn’thavesupposedit,eh?Waitabit,Ishalltakeyouin,too。Ha-ha-ha!No,I’lltellyouthetruth。Allthesequestionsaboutcrime,environment,children,recalltomymindanarticleofyourswhichinterestedmeatthetime。‘OnCrime’…orsomethingofthesort,Iforgetthetitle,IreaditwithpleasuretwomonthsagointhePeriodicalReview。”
“Myarticle?InthePeriodicalReview?”Raskolnikovaskedinastonishment。“IcertainlydidwriteanarticleuponabooksixmonthsagowhenIlefttheuniversity,butIsentittotheWeeklyReview。”
“ButitcameoutinthePeriodical。”
“AndtheWeeklyReviewceasedtoexist,sothat’swhyitwasn’tprintedatthetime。”
“That’strue;butwhenitceasedtoexist,theWeeklyReviewwasamalgamatedwiththePeriodical,andsoyourarticleappearedtwomonthsagointhelatter。Didn’tyouknow?”
Raskolnikovhadnotknown。
“Why,youmightgetsomemoneyoutofthemforthearticle!Whatastrangepersonyouare!Youleadsuchasolitarylifethatyouknownothingofmattersthatconcernyoudirectly。It’safact,Iassureyou。”
“Bravo,Rodya!Iknewnothingaboutiteither!”criedRazumihin。“I’llrunto-daytothereading-roomandaskforthenumber。Twomonthsago?Whatwasthedate?Itdoesn’tmatterthough,Iwillfindit。Thinkofnottellingus!”
“Howdidyoufindoutthatthearticlewasmine?It’sonlysignedwithaninitial。”
“Ionlylearntitbychance,theotherday。Throughtheeditor;Iknowhim。…Iwasverymuchinterested。”
“Ianalysed,ifIremember,thepsychologyofacriminalbeforeandafterthecrime。”
“Yes,andyoumaintainedthattheperpetrationofacrimeisalwaysaccompaniedbyillness。Very,veryoriginal,but…itwasnotthatpartofyourarticlethatinterestedmesomuch,butanideaattheendofthearticlewhichIregrettosayyoumerelysuggestedwithoutworkingitoutclearly。Thereis,ifyourecollect,asuggestionthattherearecertainpersonswhocan…thatis,notpreciselyareableto,buthaveaperfectrighttocommitbreachesofmoralityandcrimes,andthatthelawisnotforthem。”
Raskolnikovsmiledattheexaggeratedandintentionaldistortionofhisidea。
“What?Whatdoyoumean?Arighttocrime?Butnotbecauseoftheinfluenceofenvironment?”Razumihininquiredwithsomealarmeven。
“No,notexactlybecauseofit,”answeredPorfiry。“Inhisarticleallmenaredividedinto‘ordinary’and‘extraordinary。’Ordinarymenhavetoliveinsubmission,havenorighttotransgressthelaw,because,don’tyousee,theyareordinary。Butextraordinarymenhavearighttocommitanycrimeandtotransgressthelawinanyway,justbecausetheyareextraordinary。Thatwasyouridea,ifIamnotmistaken?”
“Whatdoyoumean?Thatcan’tberight?”Razumihinmutteredinbewilderment。
Raskolnikovsmiledagain。Hesawthepointatonce,andknewwheretheywantedtodrivehim。Hedecidedtotakeupthechallenge。
“Thatwasn’tquitemycontention,”hebegansimplyandmodestly。“YetIadmitthatyouhavestateditalmostcorrectly;perhaps,ifyoulike,perfectlyso。”Italmostgavehimpleasuretoadmitthis。“TheonlydifferenceisthatIdon’tcontendthatextraordinarypeoplearealwaysboundtocommitbreachesofmorals,asyoucallit。Infact,Idoubtwhethersuchanargumentcouldbepublished。Isimplyhintedthatan‘extraordinary’manhastheright…thatisnotanofficialright,butaninnerrighttodecideinhisownconsciencetooverstep…certainobstacles,andonlyincaseitisessentialforthepracticalfulfilmentofhisideasometimes,perhaps,ofbenefittothewholeofhumanity。Yousaythatmyarticleisn’tdefinite;IamreadytomakeitasclearasIcan。PerhapsIamrightinthinkingyouwantmeto;verywell。ImaintainthatifthediscoveriesofKeplerandNewtoncouldnothavebeenmadeknownexceptbysacrificingthelivesofone,adozen,ahundred,ormoremen,Newtonwouldhavehadtheright,wouldindeedhavebeenindutybound…toeliminatethedozenorthehundredmenforthesakeofmakinghisdiscoveriesknowntothewholeofhumanity。ButitdoesnotfollowfromthatthatNewtonhadarighttomurderpeoplerightandleftandtostealeverydayinthemarket。Then,Iremember,Imaintaininmyarticlethatall…well,legislatorsandleadersofmen,suchasLycurgus,Solon,Mahomet,Napoleon,andsoon,wereallwithoutexceptioncriminals,fromtheveryfactthat,makinganewlaw,theytransgressedtheancientone,handeddownfromtheirancestorsandheldsacredbythepeople,andtheydidnotstopshortatbloodshedeither,ifthatbloodshed—oftenofinnocentpersonsfightingbravelyindefenceofancientlaw—wereofusetotheircause。It’sremarkable,infact,thatthemajority,indeed,ofthesebenefactorsandleadersofhumanitywereguiltyofterriblecarnage。Inshort,Imaintainthatallgreatmenorevenmenalittleoutofthecommon,thatistosaycapableofgivingsomenewword,mustfromtheirverynaturebecriminals—moreorless,ofcourse。Otherwiseit’shardforthemtogetoutofthecommonrut;andtoremaininthecommonrutiswhattheycan’tsubmitto,fromtheirverynatureagain,andtomymindtheyoughtnot,indeed,tosubmittoit。Youseethatthereisnothingparticularlynewinallthat。Thesamethinghasbeenprintedandreadathousandtimesbefore。Asformydivisionofpeopleintoordinaryandextraordinary,Iacknowledgethatit’ssomewhatarbitrary,butIdon’tinsistuponexactnumbers。Ionlybelieveinmyleadingideathatmenareingeneraldividedbyalawofnatureintotwocategories,inferiorordinary,thatis,sotosay,materialthatservesonlytoreproduceitskind,andmenwhohavethegiftorthetalenttoutteranewword。Thereare,ofcourse,innumerablesub-divisions,butthedistinguishingfeaturesofbothcategoriesarefairlywellmarked。Thefirstcategory,generallyspeaking,aremenconservativeintemperamentandlaw-abiding;theyliveundercontrolandlovetobecontrolled。Tomythinkingitistheirdutytobecontrolled,becausethat’stheirvocation,andthereisnothinghumiliatinginitforthem。Thesecondcategoryalltransgressthelaw;theyaredestroyersordisposedtodestructionaccordingtotheircapacities。Thecrimesofthesemenareofcourserelativeandvaried;forthemostparttheyseekinveryvariedwaysthedestructionofthepresentforthesakeofthebetter。Butifsuchaoneisforcedforthesakeofhisideatostepoveracorpseorwadethroughblood,hecan,Imaintain,findwithinhimself,inhisconscience,asanctionforwadingthroughblood—thatdependsontheideaanditsdimensions,notethat。It’sonlyinthatsenseIspeakoftheirrighttocrimeinmyarticleyourememberitbeganwiththelegalquestion。There’snoneedforsuchanxiety,however;themasseswillscarcelyeveradmitthisright,theypunishthemorhangthemmoreorless,andindoingsofulfilquitejustlytheirconservativevocation。Butthesamemassessetthesecriminalsonapedestalinthenextgenerationandworshipthemmoreorless。Thefirstcategoryisalwaysthemanofthepresent,thesecondthemanofthefuture。Thefirstpreservetheworldandpeopleit,thesecondmovetheworldandleadittoitsgoal。Eachclasshasanequalrighttoexist。Infact,allhaveequalrightswithme—andvivelaguerreeternelle—tilltheNewJerusalem,ofcourse!”
“ThenyoubelieveintheNewJerusalem,doyou?”
“Ido,”Raskolnikovansweredfirmly;ashesaidthesewordsandduringthewholeprecedingtiradehekepthiseyesononespotonthecarpet。
“And…anddoyoubelieveinGod?Excusemycuriosity。”
“Ido,”repeatedRaskolnikov,raisinghiseyestoPorfiry。
“And…doyoubelieveinLazarus’risingfromthedead?”
“I…Ido。Whydoyouaskallthis?”
“Youbelieveitliterally?”
“Literally。”
“Youdon’tsayso。…Iaskedfromcuriosity。Excuseme。Butletusgobacktothequestion;theyarenotalwaysexecuted。Some,onthecontrary…”
“Triumphintheirlifetime?Oh,yes,someattaintheirendsinthislife,andthen…”
“Theybeginexecutingotherpeople?”
“Ifit’snecessary;indeed,forthemostparttheydo。Yourremarkisverywitty。”
“Thankyou。Buttellmethis:howdoyoudistinguishthoseextraordinarypeoplefromtheordinaryones?Aretheresignsattheirbirth?Ifeelthereoughttobemoreexactitude,moreexternaldefinition。Excusethenaturalanxietyofapracticallaw-abidingcitizen,butcouldn’ttheyadoptaspecialuniform,forinstance,couldn’ttheywearsomething,bebrandedinsomeway?Foryouknowifconfusionarisesandamemberofonecategoryimaginesthathebelongstotheother,beginsto‘eliminateobstacles’asyousohappilyexpressedit,then…”
“Oh,thatveryoftenhappens!Thatremarkiswittierthantheother。”
“Thankyou。”
“Noreasonto;buttakenotethatthemistakecanonlyariseinthefirstcategory,thatisamongtheordinarypeopleasIperhapsunfortunatelycalledthem。Inspiteoftheirpredispositiontoobedienceverymanyofthem,throughaplayfulnessofnature,sometimesvouchsafedeventothecow,liketoimaginethemselvesadvancedpeople,‘destroyers,’andtopushthemselvesintothe‘newmovement,’andthisquitesincerely。Meanwhilethereallynewpeopleareveryoftenunobservedbythem,orevendespisedasreactionariesofgrovellingtendencies。ButIdon’tthinkthereisanyconsiderabledangerhere,andyoureallyneednotbeuneasyfortheynevergoveryfar。Ofcourse,theymighthaveathrashingsometimesforlettingtheirfancyrunawaywiththemandtoteachthemtheirplace,butnomore;infact,eventhisisn’tnecessaryastheycastigatethemselves,fortheyareveryconscientious:someperformthisserviceforoneanotherandotherschastisethemselveswiththeirownhands。…Theywillimposevariouspublicactsofpenitenceuponthemselveswithabeautifulandedifyingeffect;infactyou’venothingtobeuneasyabout。…It’salawofnature。”
“Well,youhavecertainlysetmymindmoreatrestonthatscore;butthere’sanotherthingworriesme。Tellme,please,aretheremanypeoplewhohavetherighttokillothers,theseextraordinarypeople?Iamreadytobowdowntothem,ofcourse,butyoumustadmitit’salarmingifthereareagreatmanyofthem,eh?”
“Oh,youneedn’tworryaboutthateither,”Raskolnikovwentoninthesametone。“Peoplewithnewideas,peoplewiththefaintestcapacityforsayingsomethingnew,areextremelyfewinnumber,extraordinarilysoinfact。Onethingonlyisclear,thattheappearanceofallthesegradesandsub-divisionsofmenmustfollowwithunfailingregularitysomelawofnature。Thatlaw,ofcourse,isunknownatpresent,butIamconvincedthatitexists,andonedaymaybecomeknown。Thevastmassofmankindismerematerial,andonlyexistsinorderbysomegreateffort,bysomemysteriousprocess,bymeansofsomecrossingofracesandstocks,tobringintotheworldatlastperhapsonemanoutofathousandwithasparkofindependence。Oneintenthousandperhaps—Ispeakroughly,approximately—isbornwithsomeindependence,andwithstillgreaterindependenceoneinahundredthousand。Themanofgeniusisoneofmillions,andthegreatgeniuses,thecrownofhumanity,appearonearthperhapsoneinmanythousandmillions。InfactIhavenotpeepedintotheretortinwhichallthistakesplace。Buttherecertainlyisandmustbeadefinitelaw,itcannotbeamatterofchance。”
“Why,areyoubothjoking?”Razumihincriedatlast。“Thereyousit,makingfunofoneanother。Areyouserious,Rodya?”
Raskolnikovraisedhispaleandalmostmournfulfaceandmadenoreply。Andtheunconcealed,persistent,nervous,anddiscourteoussarcasmofPorfiryseemedstrangetoRazumihinbesidethatquietandmournfulface。
“Well,brother,ifyouarereallyserious…Youareright,ofcourse,insayingthatit’snotnew,thatit’slikewhatwe’vereadandheardathousandtimesalready;butwhatisreallyoriginalinallthis,andisexclusivelyyourown,tomyhorror,isthatyousanctionbloodshedinthenameofconscience,and,excusemysayingso,withsuchfanaticism。…That,Itakeit,isthepointofyourarticle。Butthatsanctionofbloodshedbyconscienceistomymind…moreterriblethantheofficial,legalsanctionofbloodshed。…”
“Youarequiteright,itismoreterrible,”Porfiryagreed。
“Yes,youmusthaveexaggerated!Thereissomemistake,Ishallreadit。Youcan’tthinkthat!Ishallreadit。”
“Allthatisnotinthearticle,there’sonlyahintofit,”saidRaskolnikov。
“Yes,yes。”Porfirycouldn’tsitstill。“Yourattitudetocrimeisprettycleartomenow,but…excusemeformyimpertinenceIamreallyashamedtobeworryingyoulikethis,yousee,you’veremovedmyanxietyastothetwogradesgettingmixed,but…therearevariouspracticalpossibilitiesthatmakemeuneasy!WhatifsomemanoryouthimaginesthatheisaLycurgusorMahomet—afutureoneofcourse—andsupposehebeginstoremoveallobstacles。…Hehassomegreatenterprisebeforehimandneedsmoneyforit…andtriestogetit…doyousee?”
Zametovgaveasuddenguffawinhiscorner。Raskolnikovdidnotevenraisehiseyestohim。
“Imustadmit,”hewentoncalmly,“thatsuchcasescertainlymustarise。Thevainandfoolishareparticularlyapttofallintothatsnare;youngpeopleespecially。”
“Yes,yousee。Wellthen?”
“Whatthen?”Raskolnikovsmiledinreply;“that’snotmyfault。Soitisandsoitalwayswillbe。HesaidjustnowhenoddedatRazumihinthatIsanctionbloodshed。Societyistoowellprotectedbyprisons,banishment,criminalinvestigators,penalservitude。There’snoneedtobeuneasy。Youhavebuttocatchthethief。”
“Andwhatifwedocatchhim?”
“Thenhegetswhathedeserves。”
“Youarecertainlylogical。Butwhatofhisconscience?”
“Whydoyoucareaboutthat?”
“Simplyfromhumanity。”
“Ifhehasaconsciencehewillsufferforhismistake。Thatwillbehispunishment—aswellastheprison。”
“Buttherealgeniuses,”askedRazumihinfrowning,“thosewhohavetherighttomurder?Oughtn’ttheytosufferatallevenforthebloodthey’veshed?”
“Whythewordought?It’snotamatterofpermissionorprohibition。Hewillsufferifheissorryforhisvictim。Painandsufferingarealwaysinevitableforalargeintelligenceandadeepheart。Thereallygreatmenmust,Ithink,havegreatsadnessonearth,”headdeddreamily,notinthetoneoftheconversation。
Heraisedhiseyes,lookedearnestlyatthemall,smiled,andtookhiscap。Hewastooquietbycomparisonwithhismannerathisentrance,andhefeltthis。Everyonegotup。
“Well,youmayabuseme,beangrywithmeifyoulike,”PorfiryPetrovitchbeganagain,“butIcan’tresist。AllowmeonelittlequestionIknowIamtroublingyou。ThereisjustonelittlenotionIwanttoexpress,simplythatImaynotforgetit。”
“Verygood,tellmeyourlittlenotion,”Raskolnikovstoodwaiting,paleandgravebeforehim。
“Well,yousee…Ireallydon’tknowhowtoexpressitproperly。…It’saplayful,psychologicalidea。…Whenyouwerewritingyourarticle,surelyyoucouldn’thavehelped,he-he!fancyingyourself…justalittle,an‘extraordinary’man,utteringanewwordinyoursense。…That’sso,isn’tit?”
“Quitepossibly,”Raskolnikovansweredcontemptuously。
Razumihinmadeamovement。
“And,ifso,couldyoubringyourselfincaseofworldlydifficultiesandhardshiporforsomeservicetohumanity—tooverstepobstacles?…Forinstance,torobandmurder?”
Andagainhewinkedwithhislefteye,andlaughednoiselesslyjustasbefore。
“IfIdidIcertainlyshouldnottellyou,”Raskolnikovansweredwithdefiantandhaughtycontempt。
“No,Iwasonlyinterestedonaccountofyourarticle,fromaliterarypointofview…”
“Foo!howobviousandinsolentthatis!”Raskolnikovthoughtwithrepulsion。
“Allowmetoobserve,”heanswereddryly,“thatIdon’tconsidermyselfaMahometoraNapoleon,noranypersonageofthatkind,andnotbeingoneofthemIcannottellyouhowIshouldact。”
“Oh,come,don’tweallthinkourselvesNapoleonsnowinRussia?”PorfiryPetrovitchsaidwithalarmingfamiliarity。
Somethingpeculiarbetrayeditselfintheveryintonationofhisvoice。
“PerhapsitwasoneofthesefutureNapoleonswhodidforAlyonaIvanovnalastweek?”Zametovblurtedoutfromthecorner。
Raskolnikovdidnotspeak,butlookedfirmlyandintentlyatPorfiry。Razumihinwasscowlinggloomily。Heseemedbeforethistobenoticingsomething。Helookedangrilyaround。Therewasaminuteofgloomysilence。Raskolnikovturnedtogo。
“Areyougoingalready?”Porfirysaidamiably,holdingouthishandwithexcessivepoliteness。“Very,verygladofyouracquaintance。Asforyourrequest,havenouneasiness,writejustasItoldyou,or,betterstill,cometomethereyourselfinadayortwo…to-morrow,indeed。Ishallbethereateleveno’clockforcertain。We’llarrangeitall;we’llhaveatalk。Asoneofthelasttobethere,youmightperhapsbeabletotellussomething,”headdedwithamostgood-naturedexpression。
“Youwanttocross-examinemeofficiallyindueform?”Raskolnikovaskedsharply。
“Oh,why?That’snotnecessaryforthepresent。Youmisunderstandme。Ilosenoopportunity,yousee,and…I’vetalkedwithallwhohadpledges。…Iobtainedevidencefromsomeofthem,andyouarethelast。…Yes,bytheway,”hecried,seeminglysuddenlydelighted,“Ijustremember,whatwasIthinkingof?”heturnedtoRazumihin,“youweretalkingmyearsoffaboutthatNikolay…ofcourse,Iknow,Iknowverywell,”heturnedtoRaskolnikov,“thatthefellowisinnocent,butwhatisonetodo?WehadtotroubleDmitritoo。…Thisisthepoint,thisisall:whenyouwentupthestairsitwaspastseven,wasn’tit?”
“Yes,”answeredRaskolnikov,withanunpleasantsensationattheverymomenthespokethatheneednothavesaidit。
“Thenwhenyouwentupstairsbetweensevenandeight,didn’tyouseeinaflatthatstoodopenonasecondstorey,doyouremember?twoworkmenoratleastoneofthem?Theywerepaintingthere,didn’tyounoticethem?It’svery,veryimportantforthem。”
“Painters?No,Ididn’tseethem,”Raskolnikovansweredslowly,asthoughransackinghismemory,whileatthesameinstanthewasrackingeverynerve,almostswooningwithanxietytoconjectureasquicklyaspossiblewherethetraplayandnottooverlookanything。“No,Ididn’tseethem,andIdon’tthinkInoticedaflatlikethatopen。…Butonthefourthstorey”hehadmasteredthetrapnowandwastriumphant“IremembernowthatsomeonewasmovingoutoftheflatoppositeAlyonaIvanovna’s。…Iremember…Irememberitclearly。Someporterswerecarryingoutasofaandtheysqueezedmeagainstthewall。Butpainters…no,Idon’trememberthattherewereanypainters,andIdon’tthinkthattherewasaflatopenanywhere,no,therewasn’t。”
“Whatdoyoumean?”Razumihinshoutedsuddenly,asthoughhehadreflectedandrealised。“Why,itwasonthedayofthemurderthepainterswereatwork,andhewastherethreedaysbefore?Whatareyouasking?”
“Foo!Ihavemuddledit!”Porfiryslappedhimselfontheforehead。“Deucetakeit!Thisbusinessisturningmybrain!”headdressedRaskolnikovsomewhatapologetically。“Itwouldbesuchagreatthingforustofindoutwhetheranyonehadseenthembetweensevenandeightattheflat,soIfanciedyoucouldperhapshavetoldussomething。…Iquitemuddledit。”
“Thenyoushouldbemorecareful,”Razumihinobservedgrimly。
Thelastwordswereutteredinthepassage。PorfiryPetrovitchsawthemtothedoorwithexcessivepoliteness。
Theywentoutintothestreetgloomyandsullen,andforsomestepstheydidnotsayaword。Raskolnikovdrewadeepbreath。
“Idon’tbelieveit,Ican’tbelieveit!”repeatedRazumihin,tryinginperplexitytorefuteRaskolnikov’sarguments。
TheywerebynowapproachingBakaleyev’slodgings,wherePulcheriaAlexandrovnaandDouniahadbeenexpectingthemalongwhile。Razumihinkeptstoppingonthewayintheheatofdiscussion,confusedandexcitedbytheveryfactthattheywereforthefirsttimespeakingopenlyaboutit。
“Don’tbelieveit,then!”answeredRaskolnikov,withacold,carelesssmile。“Youwerenoticingnothingasusual,butIwasweighingeveryword。”
“Youaresuspicious。Thatiswhyyouweighedtheirwords…h’m…certainly,Iagree,Porfiry’stonewasratherstrange,andstillmorethatwretchZametov!…Youareright,therewassomethingabouthim—butwhy?Why?”
“Hehaschangedhismindsincelastnight。”
“Quitethecontrary!Iftheyhadthatbrainlessidea,theywoulddotheirutmosttohideit,andconcealtheircards,soastocatchyouafterwards。…Butitwasallimpudentandcareless。”
“Iftheyhadhadfacts—Imean,realfacts—oratleastgroundsforsuspicion,thentheywouldcertainlyhavetriedtohidetheirgame,inthehopeofgettingmoretheywouldhavemadeasearchlongagobesides。Buttheyhavenofacts,notone。Itisallmirage—allambiguous。Simplyafloatingidea。Sotheytrytothrowmeoutbyimpudence。Andperhaps,hewasirritatedathavingnofacts,andblurteditoutinhisvexation—orperhapshehassomeplan…heseemsanintelligentman。Perhapshewantedtofrightenmebypretendingtoknow。Theyhaveapsychologyoftheirown,brother。Butitisloathsomeexplainingitall。Stop!”
“Andit’sinsulting,insulting!Iunderstandyou。But…sincewehavespokenopenlynowanditisanexcellentthingthatwehaveatlast—IamgladIwillownnowfranklythatInoticeditinthemlongago,thisidea。Ofcoursethemeresthintonly—aninsinuation—butwhyaninsinuationeven?Howdarethey?Whatfoundationhavethey?IfonlyyouknewhowfuriousIhavebeen。Thinkonly!Simplybecauseapoorstudent,unhingedbypovertyandhypochondria,ontheeveofaseveredeliriousillnessnotethat,suspicious,vain,proud,whohasnotseenasoultospeaktoforsixmonths,inragsandinbootswithoutsoles,hastofacesomewretchedpolicemenandputupwiththeirinsolence;andtheunexpecteddebtthrustunderhisnose,theI。O。U。presentedbyTchebarov,thenewpaint,thirtydegreesReaumurandastiflingatmosphere,acrowdofpeople,thetalkaboutthemurderofapersonwherehehadbeenjustbefore,andallthatonanemptystomach—hemightwellhaveafaintingfit!Andthat,thatiswhattheyfounditallon!Damnthem!Iunderstandhowannoyingitis,butinyourplace,Rodya,Iwouldlaughatthem,orbetterstill,spitintheiruglyfaces,andspitadozentimesinalldirections。I’dhitoutinalldirections,neatlytoo,andsoI’dputanendtoit。Damnthem!Don’tbedownhearted。It’sashame!”
“Hereallyhasputitwell,though,”Raskolnikovthought。
“Damnthem?Butthecross-examinationagain,to-morrow?”hesaidwithbitterness。“MustIreallyenterintoexplanationswiththem?Ifeelvexedasitis,thatIcondescendedtospeaktoZametovyesterdayintherestaurant。…”
“Damnit!IwillgomyselftoPorfiry。Iwillsqueezeitoutofhim,asoneofthefamily:hemustletmeknowtheinsandoutsofitall!AndasforZametov…”
“Atlastheseesthroughhim!”thoughtRaskolnikov。
“Stay!”criedRazumihin,seizinghimbytheshoulderagain。“Stay!youwerewrong。Ihavethoughtitout。Youarewrong!Howwasthatatrap?Yousaythatthequestionabouttheworkmenwasatrap。Butifyouhaddonethat,couldyouhavesaidyouhadseenthempaintingtheflat…andtheworkmen?Onthecontrary,youwouldhaveseennothing,evenifyouhadseenit。Whowouldownitagainsthimself?”
“IfIhaddonethatthing,IshouldcertainlyhavesaidthatIhadseentheworkmenandtheflat,”Raskolnikovanswered,withreluctanceandobviousdisgust。
“Butwhyspeakagainstyourself?”
“Becauseonlypeasants,orthemostinexperiencednovicesdenyeverythingflatlyatexaminations。Ifamaniseversolittledevelopedandexperienced,hewillcertainlytrytoadmitalltheexternalfactsthatcan’tbeavoided,butwillseekotherexplanationsofthem,willintroducesomespecial,unexpectedturn,thatwillgivethemanothersignificanceandputtheminanotherlight。PorfirymightwellreckonthatIshouldbesuretoanswerso,andsayIhadseenthemtogiveanairoftruth,andthenmakesomeexplanation。”
“Buthewouldhavetoldyouatoncethattheworkmencouldnothavebeentheretwodaysbefore,andthatthereforeyoumusthavebeenthereonthedayofthemurderateighto’clock。Andsohewouldhavecaughtyouoveradetail。”
“Yes,thatiswhathewasreckoningon,thatIshouldnothavetimetoreflect,andshouldbeinahurrytomakethemostlikelyanswer,andsowouldforgetthattheworkmencouldnothavebeentheretwodaysbefore。”
“Buthowcouldyouforgetit?”
“Nothingeasier。Itisinjustsuchstupidthingscleverpeoplearemosteasilycaught。Themorecunningamanis,thelesshesuspectsthathewillbecaughtinasimplething。Themorecunningamanis,thesimplerthetraphemustbecaughtin。Porfiryisnotsuchafoolasyouthink。…”
“Heisaknavethen,ifthatisso!”
Raskolnikovcouldnothelplaughing。Butattheverymoment,hewasstruckbythestrangenessofhisownfrankness,andtheeagernesswithwhichhehadmadethisexplanation,thoughhehadkeptupalltheprecedingconversationwithgloomyrepulsion,obviouslywithamotive,fromnecessity。
“Iamgettingarelishforcertainaspects!”hethoughttohimself。Butalmostatthesameinstanthebecamesuddenlyuneasy,asthoughanunexpectedandalarmingideahadoccurredtohim。Hisuneasinesskeptonincreasing。TheyhadjustreachedtheentrancetoBakaleyev’s。
“Goinalone!”saidRaskolnikovsuddenly。“Iwillbebackdirectly。”
“Whereareyougoing?Why,wearejusthere。”
“Ican’thelpit。…Iwillcomeinhalfanhour。Tellthem。”
“Saywhatyoulike,Iwillcomewithyou。”
“You,too,wanttotortureme!”hescreamed,withsuchbitterirritation,suchdespairinhiseyesthatRazumihin’shandsdropped。Hestoodforsometimeonthesteps,lookinggloomilyatRaskolnikovstridingrapidlyawayinthedirectionofhislodging。Atlast,grittinghisteethandclenchinghisfist,hesworehewouldsqueezePorfirylikealemonthatveryday,andwentupthestairstoreassurePulcheriaAlexandrovna,whowasbynowalarmedattheirlongabsence。
WhenRaskolnikovgothome,hishairwassoakedwithsweatandhewasbreathingheavily。Hewentrapidlyupthestairs,walkedintohisunlockedroomandatoncefastenedthelatch。Theninsenselessterrorherushedtothecorner,tothatholeunderthepaperwherehehadputthethings;puthishandin,andforsomeminutesfeltcarefullyinthehole,ineverycrackandfoldofthepaper。Findingnothing,hegotupanddrewadeepbreath。AshewasreachingthestepsofBakaleyev’s,hesuddenlyfanciedthatsomething,achain,astudorevenabitofpaperinwhichtheyhadbeenwrappedwiththeoldwoman’shandwritingonit,mightsomehowhaveslippedoutandbeenlostinsomecrack,andthenmightsuddenlyturnupasunexpected,conclusiveevidenceagainsthim。
Hestoodasthoughlostinthought,andastrange,humiliated,halfsenselesssmilestrayedonhislips。Hetookhiscapatlastandwentquietlyoutoftheroom。Hisideaswerealltangled。Hewentdreamilythroughthegateway。
“Hereheishimself,”shoutedaloudvoice。
Heraisedhishead。
Theporterwasstandingatthedoorofhislittleroomandwaspointinghimouttoashortmanwholookedlikeanartisan,wearingalongcoatandawaistcoat,andlookingatadistanceremarkablylikeawoman。Hestooped,andhisheadinagreasycaphungforward。Fromhiswrinkledflabbyfacehelookedoverfifty;hislittleeyeswerelostinfatandtheylookedoutgrimly,sternlyanddiscontentedly。
“Whatisit?”Raskolnikovasked,goinguptotheporter。
Themanstolealookathimfromunderhisbrowsandhelookedathimattentively,deliberately;thenheturnedslowlyandwentoutofthegateintothestreetwithoutsayingaword。
“Whatisit?”criedRaskolnikov。
“Why,hetherewasaskingwhetherastudentlivedhere,mentionedyournameandwhomyoulodgedwith。Isawyoucomingandpointedyououtandhewentaway。It’sfunny。”
Theportertooseemedratherpuzzled,butnotmuchso,andafterwonderingforamomentheturnedandwentbacktohisroom。
Raskolnikovranafterthestranger,andatoncecaughtsightofhimwalkingalongtheothersideofthestreetwiththesameeven,deliberatestepwithhiseyesfixedontheground,asthoughinmeditation。Hesoonovertookhim,butforsometimewalkedbehindhim。Atlast,movingontoalevelwithhim,helookedathisface。Themannoticedhimatonce,lookedathimquickly,butdroppedhiseyesagain;andsotheywalkedforaminutesidebysidewithoututteringaword。
“Youwereinquiringforme…oftheporter?”Raskolnikovsaidatlast,butinacuriouslyquietvoice。
Themanmadenoanswer;hedidn’tevenlookathim。Againtheywerebothsilent。
“Whydoyou…comeandaskforme…andsaynothing。…What’sthemeaningofit?”
Raskolnikov’svoicebrokeandheseemedunabletoarticulatethewordsclearly。
ThemanraisedhiseyesthistimeandturnedagloomysinisterlookatRaskolnikov。
“Murderer!”hesaidsuddenlyinaquietbutclearanddistinctvoice。
Raskolnikovwentonwalkingbesidehim。Hislegsfeltsuddenlyweak,acoldshiverrandownhisspine,andhisheartseemedtostandstillforamoment,thensuddenlybeganthrobbingasthoughitweresetfree。Sotheywalkedforaboutahundredpaces,sidebysideinsilence。
Themandidnotlookathim。
“Whatdoyoumean…whatis。…Whoisamurderer?”mutteredRaskolnikovhardlyaudibly。
“Youareamurderer,”themanansweredstillmorearticulatelyandemphatically,withasmileoftriumphanthatred,andagainhelookedstraightintoRaskolnikov’spalefaceandstrickeneyes。
Theyhadjustreachedthecross-roads。Themanturnedtotheleftwithoutlookingbehindhim。Raskolnikovremainedstanding,gazingafterhim。Hesawhimturnroundfiftypacesawayandlookbackathimstillstandingthere。Raskolnikovcouldnotseeclearly,buthefanciedthathewasagainsmilingthesamesmileofcoldhatredandtriumph。
Withslowfalteringsteps,withshakingknees,Raskolnikovmadehiswaybacktohislittlegarret,feelingchilledallover。Hetookoffhiscapandputitonthetable,andfortenminuteshestoodwithoutmoving。Thenhesankexhaustedonthesofaandwithaweakmoanofpainhestretchedhimselfonit。Sohelayforhalfanhour。
Hethoughtofnothing。Somethoughtsorfragmentsofthoughts,someimageswithoutorderorcoherencefloatedbeforehismind—facesofpeoplehehadseeninhischildhoodormetsomewhereonce,whomhewouldneverhaverecalled,thebelfryofthechurchatV。,thebilliardtableinarestaurantandsomeofficersplayingbilliards,thesmellofcigarsinsomeundergroundtobaccoshop,atavernroom,abackstaircasequitedark,allsloppywithdirtywaterandstrewnwithegg-shells,andtheSundaybellsfloatinginfromsomewhere。…Theimagesfollowedoneanother,whirlinglikeahurricane。Someofthemhelikedandtriedtoclutchat,buttheyfadedandallthewhiletherewasanoppressionwithinhim,butitwasnotoverwhelming,sometimesitwasevenpleasant。…Theslightshiveringstillpersisted,butthattoowasanalmostpleasantsensation。
HeheardthehurriedfootstepsofRazumihin;heclosedhiseyesandpretendedtobeasleep。Razumihinopenedthedoorandstoodforsometimeinthedoorwayasthoughhesitating,thenhesteppedsoftlyintotheroomandwentcautiouslytothesofa。RaskolnikovheardNastasya’swhisper:
“Don’tdisturbhim!Lethimsleep。Hecanhavehisdinnerlater。”
“Quiteso,”answeredRazumihin。Bothwithdrewcarefullyandclosedthedoor。Anotherhalf-hourpassed。Raskolnikovopenedhiseyes,turnedonhisbackagain,claspinghishandsbehindhishead。
“Whoishe?Whoisthatmanwhosprangoutoftheearth?Wherewashe,whatdidhesee?Hehasseenitall,that’sclear。Wherewashethen?Andfromwheredidhesee?Whyhasheonlynowsprungoutoftheearth?Andhowcouldhesee?Isitpossible?Hm…”continuedRaskolnikov,turningcoldandshivering,“andthejewelcaseNikolayfoundbehindthedoor—wasthatpossible?Aclue?Youmissaninfinitesimallineandyoucanbuilditintoapyramidofevidence!Aflyflewbyandsawit!Isitpossible?”Hefeltwithsuddenloathinghowweak,howphysicallyweakhehadbecome。“Ioughttohaveknownit,”hethoughtwithabittersmile。“AndhowdaredI,knowingmyself,knowinghowIshouldbe,takeupanaxeandshedblood!Ioughttohaveknownbeforehand。…Ah,butIdidknow!”hewhisperedindespair。Attimeshecametoastandstillatsomethought。
“No,thosemenarenotmadeso。TherealMastertowhomallispermittedstormsToulon,makesamassacreinParis,forgetsanarmyinEgypt,wasteshalfamillionmenintheMoscowexpeditionandgetsoffwithajestatVilna。Andaltarsaresetuptohimafterhisdeath,andsoallispermitted。No,suchpeople,itseems,arenotoffleshbutofbronze!”
Onesuddenirrelevantideaalmostmadehimlaugh。Napoleon,thepyramids,Waterloo,andawretchedskinnyoldwoman,apawnbrokerwitharedtrunkunderherbed—it’sanicehashforPorfiryPetrovitchtodigest!Howcantheydigestit!It’stooinartistic。“ANapoleoncreepunderanoldwoman’sbed!Ugh,howloathsome!”
Atmomentshefelthewasraving。Hesankintoastateoffeverishexcitement。“Theoldwomanisofnoconsequence,”hethought,hotlyandincoherently。“Theoldwomanwasamistakeperhaps,butsheisnotwhatmatters!Theoldwomanwasonlyanillness。…Iwasinahurrytooverstep。…Ididn’tkillahumanbeing,butaprinciple!Ikilledtheprinciple,butIdidn’toverstep,Istoppedonthisside。…Iwasonlycapableofkilling。AnditseemsIwasn’tevencapableofthat…Principle?WhywasthatfoolRazumihinabusingthesocialists?Theyareindustrious,commercialpeople;‘thehappinessofall’istheircase。No,lifeisonlygiventomeonceandIshallneverhaveitagain;Idon’twanttowaitfor‘thehappinessofall。’Iwanttolivemyself,orelsebetternotliveatall。Isimplycouldn’tpassbymymotherstarving,keepingmyroubleinmypocketwhileIwaitedforthe‘happinessofall。’Iamputtingmylittlebrickintothehappinessofallandsomyheartisatpeace。Ha-ha!Whyhaveyouletmeslip?Ionlyliveonce,Itoowant。…Ech,Iamanaestheticlouseandnothingmore,”headdedsuddenly,laughinglikeamadman。“Yes,Iamcertainlyalouse,”hewenton,clutchingattheidea,gloatingoveritandplayingwithitwithvindictivepleasure。“Inthefirstplace,becauseIcanreasonthatIamone,andsecondly,becauseforamonthpastIhavebeentroublingbenevolentProvidence,callingittowitnessthatnotformyownfleshlylustsdidIundertakeit,butwithagrandandnobleobject—ha-ha!Thirdly,becauseIaimedatcarryingitoutasjustlyaspossible,weighing,measuringandcalculating。OfalltheliceIpickedoutthemostuselessoneandproposedtotakefromheronlyasmuchasIneededforthefirststep,nomorenorlesssotherestwouldhavegonetoamonastery,accordingtoherwill,ha-ha!。AndwhatshowsthatIamutterlyalouse,”headded,grindinghisteeth,“isthatIamperhapsvilerandmoreloathsomethanthelouseIkilled,andIfeltbeforehandthatIshouldtellmyselfsoafterkillingher。Cananythingbecomparedwiththehorrorofthat?Thevulgarity!Theabjectness!Iunderstandthe‘prophet’withhissabre,onhissteed:Allahcommandsand‘trembling’creationmustobey!The‘prophet’isright,heisrightwhenhesetsabatteryacrossthestreetandblowsuptheinnocentandtheguiltywithoutdeigningtoexplain!It’sforyoutoobey,tremblingcreation,andnottohavedesires,forthat’snotforyou!…Ishallnever,neverforgivetheoldwoman!”
Hishairwassoakedwithsweat,hisquiveringlipswereparched,hiseyeswerefixedontheceiling。
“Mother,sister—howIlovedthem!WhydoIhatethemnow?Yes,Ihatethem,Ifeelaphysicalhatredforthem,Ican’tbearthemnearme。…Iwentuptomymotherandkissedher,Iremember。…Toembraceherandthinkifsheonlyknew…shallItellherthen?That’sjustwhatImightdo。…ShemustbethesameasIam,”headded,straininghimselftothink,asitwerestrugglingwithdelirium。“Ah,howIhatetheoldwomannow!IfeelIshouldkillheragainifshecametolife!PoorLizaveta!Whydidshecomein?…It’sstrangethough,whyisitIscarcelyeverthinkofher,asthoughIhadn’tkilledher?Lizaveta!Sonia!Poorgentlethings,withgentleeyes。…Dearwomen!Whydon’ttheyweep?Whydon’ttheymoan?Theygiveupeverything…theireyesaresoftandgentle。…Sonia,Sonia!GentleSonia!”
Helostconsciousness;itseemedstrangetohimthathedidn’trememberhowhegotintothestreet。Itwaslateevening。Thetwilighthadfallenandthefullmoonwasshiningmoreandmorebrightly;buttherewasapeculiarbreathlessnessintheair。Therewerecrowdsofpeopleinthestreet;workmenandbusinesspeopleweremakingtheirwayhome;otherpeoplehadcomeoutforawalk;therewasasmellofmortar,dustandstagnantwater。Raskolnikovwalkedalong,mournfulandanxious;hewasdistinctlyawareofhavingcomeoutwithapurpose,ofhavingtodosomethinginahurry,butwhatitwashehadforgotten。Suddenlyhestoodstillandsawamanstandingontheothersideofthestreet,beckoningtohim。Hecrossedovertohim,butatoncethemanturnedandwalkedawaywithhisheadhanging,asthoughhehadmadenosigntohim。“Stay,didhereallybeckon?”Raskolnikovwondered,buthetriedtoovertakehim。Whenhewaswithintenpacesherecognisedhimandwasfrightened;itwasthesamemanwithstoopingshouldersinthelongcoat。Raskolnikovfollowedhimatadistance;hisheartwasbeating;theywentdownaturning;themanstilldidnotlookround。“DoesheknowIamfollowinghim?”thoughtRaskolnikov。Themanwentintothegatewayofabighouse。Raskolnikovhastenedtothegateandlookedintoseewhetherhewouldlookroundandsigntohim。Inthecourt-yardthemandidturnroundandagainseemedtobeckonhim。Raskolnikovatoncefollowedhimintotheyard,butthemanwasgone。Hemusthavegoneupthefirststaircase。Raskolnikovrushedafterhim。Heheardslowmeasuredstepstwoflightsabove。Thestaircaseseemedstrangelyfamiliar。Hereachedthewindowonthefirstfloor;themoonshonethroughthepaneswithamelancholyandmysteriouslight;thenhereachedthesecondfloor。Bah!thisistheflatwherethepainterswereatwork…buthowwasithedidnotrecogniseitatonce?Thestepsofthemanabovehaddiedaway。“Sohemusthavestoppedorhiddensomewhere。”Hereachedthethirdstorey,shouldhegoon?Therewasastillnessthatwasdreadful。…Buthewenton。Thesoundofhisownfootstepsscaredandfrightenedhim。Howdarkitwas!Themanmustbehidinginsomecornerhere。Ah!theflatwasstandingwideopen,hehesitatedandwentin。Itwasverydarkandemptyinthepassage,asthougheverythinghadbeenremoved;hecreptontiptoeintotheparlourwhichwasfloodedwithmoonlight。Everythingtherewasasbefore,thechairs,thelooking-glass,theyellowsofaandthepicturesintheframes。Ahuge,round,copper-redmoonlookedinatthewindows。“It’sthemoonthatmakesitsostill,weavingsomemystery,”thoughtRaskolnikov。Hestoodandwaited,waitedalongwhile,andthemoresilentthemoonlight,themoreviolentlyhisheartbeat,tillitwaspainful。Andstillthesamehush。Suddenlyheheardamomentarysharpcracklikethesnappingofasplinterandallwasstillagain。Aflyflewupsuddenlyandstruckthewindowpanewithaplaintivebuzz。Atthatmomenthenoticedinthecornerbetweenthewindowandthelittlecupboardsomethinglikeacloakhangingonthewall。“Whyisthatcloakhere?”hethought,“itwasn’ttherebefore。…”Hewentuptoitquietlyandfeltthattherewassomeonehidingbehindit。Hecautiouslymovedthecloakandsaw,sittingonachairinthecorner,theoldwomanbentdoublesothathecouldn’tseeherface;butitwasshe。Hestoodoverher。“Sheisafraid,”hethought。Hestealthilytooktheaxefromthenooseandstruckheroneblow,thenanotherontheskull。Butstrangetosayshedidnotstir,asthoughsheweremadeofwood。Hewasfrightened,bentdownnearerandtriedtolookather;butshe,too,bentherheadlower。Hebentrightdowntothegroundandpeepedupintoherfacefrombelow,hepeepedandturnedcoldwithhorror:theoldwomanwassittingandlaughing,shakingwithnoiselesslaughter,doingherutmostthatheshouldnothearit。Suddenlyhefanciedthatthedoorfromthebedroomwasopenedalittleandthattherewaslaughterandwhisperingwithin。Hewasovercomewithfrenzyandhebeganhittingtheoldwomanontheheadwithallhisforce,butateveryblowoftheaxethelaughterandwhisperingfromthebedroomgrewlouderandtheoldwomanwassimplyshakingwithmirth。Hewasrushingaway,butthepassagewasfullofpeople,thedoorsoftheflatsstoodopenandonthelanding,onthestairsandeverywherebelowtherewerepeople,rowsofheads,alllooking,buthuddledtogetherinsilenceandexpectation。Somethinggrippedhisheart,hislegswererootedtothespot,theywouldnotmove。…Hetriedtoscreamandwokeup。
Hedrewadeepbreath—buthisdreamseemedstrangelytopersist:hisdoorwasflungopenandamanwhomhehadneverseenstoodinthedoorwaywatchinghimintently。
Raskolnikovhadhardlyopenedhiseyesandheinstantlyclosedthemagain。Helayonhisbackwithoutstirring。
“Isitstilladream?”hewonderedandagainraisedhiseyelidshardlyperceptibly;thestrangerwasstandinginthesameplace,stillwatchinghim。
Hesteppedcautiouslyintotheroom,carefullyclosingthedoorafterhim,wentuptothetable,pausedamoment,stillkeepinghiseyesonRaskolnikov,andnoiselesslyseatedhimselfonthechairbythesofa;heputhishatonthefloorbesidehimandleanedhishandsonhiscaneandhischinonhishands。Itwasevidentthathewaspreparedtowaitindefinitely。AsfarasRaskolnikovcouldmakeoutfromhisstolenglances,hewasamannolongeryoung,stout,withafull,fair,almostwhitishbeard。
Tenminutespassed。Itwasstilllight,butbeginningtogetdusk。Therewascompletestillnessintheroom。Notasoundcamefromthestairs。Onlyabigflybuzzedandflutteredagainstthewindowpane。Itwasunbearableatlast。Raskolnikovsuddenlygotupandsatonthesofa。
“Come,tellmewhatyouwant。”
“Iknewyouwerenotasleep,butonlypretending,”thestrangeransweredoddly,laughingcalmly。“ArkadyIvanovitchSvidrigailov,allowmetointroducemyself。…”
“Canthisbestilladream?”Raskolnikovthoughtoncemore。
Helookedcarefullyandsuspiciouslyattheunexpectedvisitor。
“Svidrigailov!Whatnonsense!Itcan’tbe!”hesaidatlastaloudinbewilderment。
Hisvisitordidnotseematallsurprisedatthisexclamation。
“I’vecometoyoufortworeasons。Inthefirstplace,Iwantedtomakeyourpersonalacquaintance,asIhavealreadyheardagreatdealaboutyouthatisinterestingandflattering;secondly,Icherishthehopethatyoumaynotrefusetoassistmeinamatterdirectlyconcerningthewelfareofyoursister,AvdotyaRomanovna。Forwithoutyoursupportshemightnotletmecomenearhernow,forsheisprejudicedagainstme,butwithyourassistanceIreckonon…”
“Youreckonwrongly,”interruptedRaskolnikov。
“Theyonlyarrivedyesterday,mayIaskyou?”
Raskolnikovmadenoreply。
“Itwasyesterday,Iknow。Ionlyarrivedmyselfthedaybefore。Well,letmetellyouthis,RodionRomanovitch,Idon’tconsideritnecessarytojustifymyself,butkindlytellmewhatwasthereparticularlycriminalonmypartinallthisbusiness,speakingwithoutprejudice,withcommonsense?”
Raskolnikovcontinuedtolookathiminsilence。
“ThatinmyownhouseIpersecutedadefencelessgirland‘insultedherwithmyinfamousproposals’—isthatit?Iamanticipatingyou。Butyou’veonlytoassumethatI,too,amamanetnihilhumanum…inaword,thatIamcapableofbeingattractedandfallinginlovewhichdoesnotdependonourwill,theneverythingcanbeexplainedinthemostnaturalmanner。Thequestionis,amIamonster,oramImyselfavictim?AndwhatifIamavictim?InproposingtotheobjectofmypassiontoelopewithmetoAmericaorSwitzerland,ImayhavecherishedthedeepestrespectforherandmayhavethoughtthatIwaspromotingourmutualhappiness!Reasonistheslaveofpassion,youknow;why,probably,Iwasdoingmoreharmtomyselfthananyone!”
“Butthat’snotthepoint,”Raskolnikovinterruptedwithdisgust。“It’ssimplythatwhetheryouarerightorwrong,wedislikeyou。Wedon’twanttohaveanythingtodowithyou。Weshowyouthedoor。Goout!”
Svidrigailovbrokeintoasuddenlaugh。
“Butyou’re…butthere’snogettingroundyou,”hesaid,laughinginthefrankestway。“Ihopedtogetroundyou,butyoutookuptherightlineatonce!”
“Butyouaretryingtogetroundmestill!”
“Whatofit?Whatofit?”criedSvidrigailov,laughingopenly。“ButthisiswhattheFrenchcallbonneguerre,andthemostinnocentformofdeception!…Butstillyouhaveinterruptedme;onewayoranother,Irepeatagain:therewouldneverhavebeenanyunpleasantnessexceptforwhathappenedinthegarden。MarfaPetrovna…”
“YouhavegotridofMarfaPetrovna,too,sotheysay?”Raskolnikovinterruptedrudely。
“Oh,you’veheardthat,too,then?You’dbesureto,though。…Butasforyourquestion,Ireallydon’tknowwhattosay,thoughmyownconscienceisquiteatrestonthatscore。Don’tsupposethatIaminanyapprehensionaboutit。Allwasregularandinorder;themedicalinquirydiagnosedapoplexyduetobathingimmediatelyafteraheavydinnerandabottleofwine,andindeeditcouldhaveprovednothingelse。ButI’lltellyouwhatIhavebeenthinkingtomyselfoflate,onmywayhereinthetrain,especially:didn’tIcontributetoallthat…calamity,morally,inaway,byirritationorsomethingofthesort。ButIcametotheconclusionthatthat,too,wasquiteoutofthequestion。”
Raskolnikovlaughed。
“Iwonderyoutroubleyourselfaboutit!”
“Butwhatareyoulaughingat?Onlyconsider,Istruckherjusttwicewithaswitch—therewerenomarkseven…don’tregardmeasacynic,please;Iamperfectlyawarehowatrociousitwasofmeandallthat;butIknowforcertain,too,thatMarfaPetrovnawasverylikelypleasedatmy,sotosay,warmth。Thestoryofyoursisterhadbeenwrungouttothelastdrop;forthelastthreedaysMarfaPetrovnahadbeenforcedtositathome;shehadnothingtoshowherselfwithinthetown。Besides,shehadboredthemsowiththatletteryouheardaboutherreadingtheletter。Andallofasuddenthosetwoswitchesfellfromheaven!Herfirstactwastoorderthecarriagetobegotout。…Nottospeakofthefactthattherearecaseswhenwomenarevery,verygladtobeinsultedinspiteofalltheirshowofindignation。Thereareinstancesofitwitheveryone;humanbeingsingeneral,indeed,greatlylovetobeinsulted,haveyounoticedthat?Butit’sparticularlysowithwomen。Onemightevensayit’stheironlyamusement。”
AtonetimeRaskolnikovthoughtofgettingupandwalkingoutandsofinishingtheinterview。Butsomecuriosityandevenasortofprudencemadehimlingerforamoment。