`Hehasgone!Itistheend!’Annasaidtoherself,standingatthewindow;andinanswertothisquestiontheimpressionofthedarknesswhenthecandlehadflickeredoutandofherfearfuldream,minglingintoone,filledherheartwithcoldterror。
`No,thatcannotbe!’shecried,andcrossingtheroomsherangthebell。Shewasafraidnowofbeingalone,that,withoutwaitingfortheservanttocomein,shewentouttomeethim。
`InquirewheretheCounthasgone,’shesaid。
TheservantansweredthattheCounthadgonetothestable。
`HisHonorleftwordthatifyoucaredtodriveout,thecarriagewouldbebackimmediately。’
`Verygood。Waitaminute。I’llwriteanoteatonce。SendMikhailwiththenotetothestables。Makehaste。’
Shesatdownandwrote:
`Iwaswrong。Comebackhome;Imustexplain。ForGod’ssakecome!I’mafraid。’
Shesealeditupandgaveittotheservant。
Shewasafraidofbeingleftalonenow;shefollowedtheservantoutoftheroom,andwenttothenursery。
`Why,thisisn’tit-thisisn’the!Wherearehisblueeyes,hissweet,shysmile?’washerfirstthoughtwhenshesawherchubby,rosylittlegirl,withherblack,curlyhair,insteadofSeriozha,whominthetangleofherideasshehadexpectedtoseeinthenursery。Thelittlegirlsittingatthetablewasobstinatelyandviolentlybatteringonitwithacork,andstaringaimlesslyathermotherwithherpitch-blackeyes。AnsweringtheEnglishnursethatshewasquitewell,andthatshewasgoingtothecountrytomorrow,Annasatdownbythelittlegirlandbeganspinningthecorktoshowher。Butthechild’sloud,ringinglaugh,andthemotionofhereyebrows,recalledVronskysovividlythatshegotuphurriedly,restraininghersobs,andwentaway。`Canitbeallover?No,itcannotbe!’shethought。`Hewillcomeback。Buthowcanheexplainthatsmile,thatexcitementafterhehadbeentalkingtoher?Butevenifhedoesn’texplain,Iwillbelieve。IfIdon’tbelieve,there’sonlyonethingleftforme……andIcan’tdoit。’
Shelookedatherwatch。Twentyminuteshadpassed。`Bynowhehasreceivedthenoteandiscomingback。Notlong,tenminutesmore……Butwhatifhedoesn’tcome?No,thatcannotbe。Hemustn’tseemewithtear-stainedeyes。I’llgoandwash。Yes,yes;didIdomyhairornot?’sheaskedherself。Andshecouldnotremember。Shefeltherheadwithherhand。`Yes,myhairhasbeendone,butwhenIdiditIcan’tintheleastremember。’Shecouldnotbelievetheevidenceofherhand,andwentuptothepierglasstoseewhethershereallyhaddoneherhair。Shecertainlyhad,butshecouldnotthinkwhenshehaddoneit。`Who’sthat?’shethought,lookinginthelookingglassattheswollenfacewithstrangelyglitteringeyes,thatlookedinascaredwayather。`Why,it’sI!’shesuddenlyunderstood,and,lookinground,sheseemedallatoncetofeelhiskissesonher,andtwitchedhershoulders,shuddering。Thensheliftedherhandtoherlipsandkissedit。
`Whatisit?Why,I’mgoingoutofmymind!’Andshewentintoherbedroom,whereAnnushkawastidyingtheroom。
`Annushka,’shesaid,comingtoastandstillbeforeher,andshestaredatthemaid,notknowingwhattosaytoher。
`YoumeanttogoandseeDaryaAlexandrovna,’saidthemaid,asthoughsheunderstood。
`DaryaAlexandrovna?Yes,I’llgo。’
`Fifteenminutesthere,fifteenminutesback。He’scoming,he’llbeheresoon。’Shetookoutherwatchandlookedatit。`Buthowcouldhegoaway,leavingmeinsuchastate?Howcanhelive,withoutmakingitupwithme?’Shewenttothewindowandbeganlookingintothestreet。Judgingbythetime,hemightbebacknow。Buthercalculationsmightbewrong,andshebeganoncemoretorecallwhenhehadstartedandtocounttheminutes。
Atthemomentwhenshehadmovedawaytothebigclocktocompareitwithherwatch,someonedroveup。Glancingoutofthewindow,shesawhiscarriage。Butnoonecameupstairs,andvoicescouldbeheardbelow。Itwasthemessengerwhohadcomebackinthecarriage。Shewentdowntohim。
`Wedidn’tcatchtheCount。TheCounthaddrivenoffontheNizhny-Novgorodline。’
`Whatdoyousay?What!……’shesaidtotherosy,good-humoredMikhail,ashehandedherbackhernote。
`Why,then,hehasneverreceivedit!’shethought。
`GowiththisnotetoCountessVronsky’splaceinthecountry-doyouknowwhereitis?Andbringananswerbackimmediately,’shesaidtothemessenger。
`AndI-whatamIgoingtodo?’shethought。`Yes,I’mgoingtoDolly’s-that’sbest,orelseIshallgooutofmymind。Yes,andIcantelegraph,too。’Andshewroteatelegram:
`Iabsolutelymusttalktoyou;comeatonce。’
Aftersendingoffthetelegram,shewenttodress。Whenshewasdressedandinherhat,sheglancedagainintotheeyesoftheplump,comfortable-lookingAnnushka。Therewasunmistakablesympathyinthosegood-naturedlittlegrayeyes。
`Annushka,dear,whatamItodo?’saidAnna,sobbingandsinkinghelplesslyintoachair。
`Whyfretyourselfso,AnnaArkadyevna?Why,there’snothingoutoftheway。Youdriveoutalittle,andit’llcheeryouup,’saidthemaid。
`Yes,I’mgoing,’saidAnna,rousingherselfandgettingup。`Andifthere’satelegramwhileI’maway,senditontoDaryaAlexandrovna’s……Butno,Ishallbebackmyself。’
`Yes,Imustn’tthink;Imustdosomething,drivesomewhere,and,mostofall,getoutofthishouse,’shesaid,feelingwithterrorthestrangeturmoilgoingoninherownheart,andshemadehastetogoout,andgetintothecarriage。
`Whereto?’askedPiotrbeforegettingonthebox。
`TheZnamenka-theOblonskys’。’
Itwasbrightandsunny。Afinerainhadbeenfallingallthemorning,andnowithadnotlongclearedup。Theironroofs,theflagsofthesidewalks,thecobblesofthepavements,thewheelsandleather,thebrassandthetinplateofthecarriages-allglistenedbrightlyintheMaysunshine。Itwasthreeo’clock,andtheveryliveliesttimeinthestreets。
Asshesatinacornerofthecomfortablecarriagethathardlyswayedonitssupplesprings,whilethegraystrottedswiftly,inthemidstoftheunceasingrattleofwheelsandthechangingimpressionsinthepureair,Annaranovertheeventsofthelastdays,andshesawherpositionquitedifferentlyfromwhatithadseemedathome。Nowthethoughtofdeathseemednolongersoterribleandsocleartoher,anddeathitselfnolongerseemedsoinevitable。Nowsheblamedherselfforthehumiliationtowhichshehadloweredherself。`Ientreathimtoforgiveme。Ihavegivenintohim。Ihaveownedmyselfinfault。Whatfor?Can’tIlivewithouthim?’Andleavingunansweredthequestionhowshewasgoingtolivewithouthim,shefelltoreadingthesignsontheshops。`Officeandwarehouse。Dentalsurgeon。Yes,I’lltellDollyallaboutit。Shedoesn’tlikeVronsky。Ishallbesickandashamed,butI’lltellhereverything。Shelovesme,andI’llfollowheradvice。Iwon’tgiveintohim;Iwon’tlethimtrainmeashepleases。Filippov,``Kalaches。’TheysayhesendshisdoughtoPeterburg。TheMoscowwaterissogoodforit。AndthewellsatMitishchy,andthepancakes。’Andsherememberedhow,long,longago,whenshewasagirlofseventeen,shehadgonewithheraunttoTroitsa。`Byhorsesatthattime。Wasthatreallyme,withredhands?Howmuchofthatwhichseemedtomethensplendidandoutofreachhasbecomeworthless,whilewhatIhadthenhasgoneoutofmyreachforever!CouldIeverhavebelievedthenthatIcouldcometosuchhumiliation?Howproudandsatisfiedhewillbewhenhegetsmynote!ButIwillshowhim……Howhorridthatpaintsmells!Whyisitthey’realwayspaintingandbuilding?Modesetrobes!’sheread。Amanbowedtoher。ItwasAnnushka’shusband。`Ourparasites,’-sherememberedhowVronskyhadsaidthat。`Our?Whyour?What’ssoawfulisthatonecan’ttearupthepastbyitsroots。Onecan’ttearitout,butonecanhideone’smemoryofit。AndI’llhideit。’AndthenshethoughtofherpastwithAlexeiAlexandrovich,ofhowshehadblotteditoutofhermemory。`DollywillthinkI’mleavingmysecondhusband,andsoIcertainlymustbeinthewrong。AsifIcaredtoberight!Ican’thelpit!’shesaid,andshewantedtocry。Butatonceshefelltowonderingwhatthosetwogirlscouldbesmilingabout。`Love,mostlikely。Theydon’tknowhowdrearyitis,howlow……Theboulevardandthechildren。Threeboysrunning,playingathorses。Seriozha!AndI’mlosingeverythingandnotgettinghimback。Yes,I’mlosingeverything,ifhedoesn’treturn。Perhapshewaslateforthetrainandhascomebackbynow。Longingforhumiliationagain!’shesaidtoherself。`No,I’llgotoDolly,andsaystraightouttoher:I’munhappy,Ideservethis,I’mtoblame,butstillI’munhappy,helpme。Thesehorses,thiscarriage-howloathsomeIamtomyselfinthiscarriage-allhis;butIwon’tseethemagain。’
ThinkingoverthewordsinwhichshewouldtellDolly,andintentionallyworkingherheartuptogreatbitterness,Annawentupstairs。
`Isthereanyonewithher?’sheaskedinthehall。
`KaterinaAlexandrovnaLevina,’answeredthefootman。
`Kitty!Kitty,whomVronskywasinlovewith!’thoughtAnna。`Thegirlhethinksofwithlove。He’ssorryhedidn’tmarryher。Butmehethinksofwithhatred,andissorryhehadanythingtodowithme。’
ThesisterswerehavingaconsultationaboutnursingwhenAnnacalled。Dollywentdownalonetoseethevisitorwhohadinterruptedtheirconversation。
`Well,soyou’venotgoneawayyet?Imeanttohavecometoyou,’shesaid;`IhadaletterfromStivatoday。’
`Wehadatelegramtoo,’answeredAnna,lookingroundforKitty。
`Hewritesthathecan’tmakeoutquitewhatAlexeiAlexandrovichwants,buthewon’tgoawaywithoutadecisiveanswer。’
`Ithoughtyouhadsomeonewithyou。CanIseetheletter?’
`Yes-it’sKitty,’saidDolly,embarrassed。`Shestayedinthenursery。Shehasbeenveryill。’
`SoIheard。MayIseetheletter?’
`I’llgetitdirectly。Buthedoesn’trefuse;onthecontrary,Stivahashopes,’saidDolly,stoppinginthedoorway。
`Ihaven’t,andindeedIdon’twishit,’saidAnna。
`What’sthis?DoesKittyconsideritdegradingtomeetme?’thoughtAnnawhenshewasalone。`Perhapsshe’sright,too。Butit’snotforher,thegirlwhowasinlovewithVronsky,it’snotforhertoshowmethat,evenifitistrue。IknowthatinmypositionIcan’tbereceivedbyanydecentwoman。IknewthatfromthefirstmomentIsacrificedeverythingtohim。Andthisismyreward!Oh,howIhatehim!AndwhatdidIcomeherefor?I’mworsehere,moremiserable。’Sheheardfromthenextroomthesisters’voicesinconsultation。`AndwhatamIgoingtosaytoDollynow?AmuseKittybythesightofmywretchedness,submittoherpatronizing?No;andbesides,Dollywouldn’tunderstand。Anditwouldbenogoodmytellingher。ItwouldonlybeinterestingtoseeKitty,toshowherhowIdespiseeveryoneandeverything,hownothingmatterstomenow。’
Dollycameinwiththeletter。Annareaditandhandeditbackinsilence。
`Iknewallthat,’shesaid,`anditdoesn’tinterestmeintheleast。’
`Oh,whyso?Onthecontrary,Ihavehopes,’saidDolly,lookinginquisitivelyatAnna。Shehadneverseenherinsuchastrangelyirritablecondition。`Whenareyougoingaway?’sheasked。
Anna,half-closinghereyes,lookedstraightbeforeheranddidnotanswer。
`WhydoesKittyshrinkfromme?’shesaid,lookingatthedoorandflushingred。
`Oh,whatnonsense!She’snursing,andthingsaren’tgoingrightwithher,andI’vebeenadvisingher……She’sdelighted。She’llbehereinaminute,’saidDollyawkwardly,notcleveratlying。`Yes,heresheis。’
HearingthatAnnahadcalled,Kittyhadwantednottoappear,butDollypersuadedher。Rallyingherforces,Kittywentin,walkeduptoher,blushing,andshookhands。
`Iamsogladtoseeyou,’shesaidwithatremblingvoice。
Kittyhadbeenthrownintoconfusionbytheinwardconflictbetweenherantagonismtothisbadwomanandherdesiretobekindtoher。ButassoonasshesawAnna’slovelyandattractiveface,allfeelingofantagonismdisappeared。
`Ishouldnothavebeensurprisedifyouhadnotcaredtomeetme。I’musedtoeverything。Youhavebeenill?Yes,youarechanged,’saidAnna。
KittyfeltthatAnnawaslookingatherwithhostileeyes。SheascribedthishostilitytotheawkwardpositioninwhichAnna,whohadoncepatronizedher,mustfeelwithhernow,andshefeltsorryforher。
TheytalkedofKitty’sillness,ofthebaby,ofStiva,butitwasobviousthatnothinginterestedAnna。
`Icametosaygood-bytoyou,’shesaid,gettingup。
`Oh,whenareyougoing?’
Butagainnotanswering,AnnaturnedtoKitty。
`Yes,Iamverygladtohaveseenyou,’shesaidwithasmile。`Ihaveheardsomuchofyoufromeveryone,evenfromyourhusband。Hecametoseeme,andIlikedhimverymuch,’shesaid,unmistakablywithmaliciousintent。`Whereishe?’
`Hehasgonebacktothecountry,’saidKitty,blushing。
`Remembermetohim-besureyoudo。’
`I’llbesureto!’Kittysaidna?vely,lookingcompassionatelyintohereyes。
`Good-by,then,Dolly。’AndkissingDollyandshakinghandswithKitty,Annawentouthurriedly。
`She’sjustthesameandjustascharming!She’sverylovely!’saidKitty,whenshewasalonewithhersister。`Butthere’ssomethingpiteousabouther。Awfullypiteous!’
`Yes,there’ssomethingunusualabouthertoday,’saidDolly。`WhenIwentwithherintothehall,Ifanciedshewasalmostcrying。’
Annagotintothecarriageagaininanevenworseframeofmindthanwhenshesetoutfromhome。Toherprevioustortureswasaddednowthatsenseofmortificationandofbeinganoutcast,whichshehadfeltsodistinctlyonmeetingKitty。
`Whereto?Home?’askedPiotr。
`Yes,home,’shesaid,noteventhinkingnowwhereshewasgoing。
`Howtheylookedatmeassomethingdreadful,incomprehensible,andcurious!Whatcanhebetellingtheotherwithsuchwarmth?’shethought,staringattwomenwhowalkedby。`Canoneevertellanyonewhatoneisfeeling?ImeanttotellDolly,andit’sagoodthingIdidn’ttellher。Howpleasedshewouldhavebeenatmymisery!Shewouldhaveconcealedit,butherchieffeelingwouldhavebeendelightatmybeingpunishedforthehappinesssheenviedmefor。Kitty-shewouldhavebeenevenmorepleased。HowIcanseethroughher!SheknowsIwasmorethanusuallykindtoherhusband。Andshe’sjealousandhatesme。Andshedespisesme。InhereyesI’manimmoralwoman。IfIwereanimmoralwomanIcouldhavemadeherhusbandfallinlovewithme……IfI’dcaredto。And,indeed,Ididcareto。There’ssomeonewho’spleasedwithhimself,’shethought,asshesawafat,rubicundgentlemancomingtowardher。Hetookherforanacquaintance,andliftedhisglossyhatabovehisbald,glossyhead,andthenperceivedhismistake。`Hethoughtheknewme。Well,heknowsmeaswellasanyoneintheworldknowsme。Idon’tknowmyself。Iknowmyappetites,astheFrenchsay。Theywantthathokey-pokey,thattheydoknowforcertain,’shethought,lookingattwoboysstoppinganice-creamseller,whotookabarreloffhisheadandbeganwipinghisperspiringfacewithatowel。`Weallwantwhatissweetandtastesgood。Iftherearenosweetmeats,thenahokey-pokeywilldo。AndKitty’sthesame-ifnotVronsky,thenLevin。Andsheenviesme。Andhatesme。Andweallhateeachother。IKitty-Kittyme。Yes,that’sthetruth。Tiutkin,coiffeur……JemefaiscoifferparTiutkin……I’lltellhimthatwhenhecomes,’shethoughtandsmiled。Butthesameinstantsherememberedthatshehadnoonenowtotellanythingamusingto。`Andthere’snothingamusing,nothingmirthful,really。It’sallhateful。Vesperbells-andhowcarefullythatmerchantcrosseshimself!Asifhewereafraidofmissingsomething。Whythesechurches,andthesebells,andthishumbug?Simplytoconcealthatweallhateeachotherlikethesecabdrivers,whoareabusingeachothersoangrily。Iashvinsays,``Hewantstostripmeofmyshirt,andIwishhimthesame。’Yes,that’sthetruth!’
Shewasplungedinthesethoughts,whichsoengrossedherthatsheleftoffthinkingofherownposition,whenthecarriagedrewupatthestepsofherhouse。Itwasonlywhenshesawtheporterrunningouttomeetherthatsherememberedshehadsentthenoteandthetelegram。
`Isthereanyanswer?’sheinquired。
`I’llseethisminute,’answeredtheporter,and,glancingintohisroom,hetookoutandgaveherthethinsquareenvelopeofatelegram。`Ican’tcomebeforeteno’clock-Vronsky,’sheread。
`Andhasn’tthemessengercomeback?’
`No,’answeredtheporter。
`Then,sinceit’sso,IknowwhatImustdo,’shesaid,andfeelingavaguefuryandcravingforrevengerisingupwithinher,sheranupstairs。`I’llgotohimmyself。Beforegoingawayforever,I’lltellhimall。NeverhaveIhatedanyoneasIhatethatman!’shethought。Seeinghishatontherack,sheshudderedwithaversion。Shedidnotconsiderthatthistelegramwasananswertohertelegramandthathehadnotyetreceivedhernote。ShepicturedhimtoherselfastalkingcalmlytohismotherandPrincessSorokina,andrejoicingathersufferings。`Yes,Imustgoquickly,’shesaid,notknowingyetwhereshewasgoing。Shelongedtogetawayasquicklyaspossiblefromthefeelingsshehadgonethroughinthatawfulhouse。Theservants,thewalls,thethingsinthathouse-allarousedrepulsionandhatredinherandlaylikeaweightuponher。
`Yes,Imustgototherailwaystation,andifhe’snotthere,thengothereandcatchhim。’Annalookedattherailwaytimetableinthenewspapers。Aneveningtrainwentattwominutespasteight。`Yes,Ishallbeintime。’Shegaveordersfortheotherhorsestobeputinthecarriage,andpackedinatravelingbagthethingsneededforafewdays。Sheknewshewouldnevercomebackhereagain。
AmongtheplansthatcameintoherheadshevaguelydeterminedthatafterwhatwouldhappenatthestationorattheCountess’shouse,shewouldgoasfarasthefirsttownontheNizhny-Novgorodrailwayandstopthere。
Dinnerwasonthetable;shewentup,butthesmellofthebreadandcheesewasenoughtomakeherfeelthatallfoodwasdisgusting。Sheorderedthecarriageandwentout。Thehousethrewashadownowrightacrossthestreet,butitwasabrighteveningandstillwarminthesunshine。Annushka,whocamedownwithherthings,andPiotr,whoputthethingsinthecarriage,andthecoachman,evidentlyoutofhumor,wereallhatefultoher,andirritatedherbytheirwordsandactions。
`Idon’twantyou,Piotr。’
`Buthowabouttheticket?’
`Well,asyoulike,itdoesn’tmatter,’shesaidcrossly。
Piotrjumpedonthebox,andputtinghisarmsakimbo,toldthecoachmantodrivetothestation。
`Hereitisagain!AgainIunderstanditall!’Annasaidtoherself,assoonasthecarriagehadstartedandswayinglightly,rumbledoverthesmallcobblesofthepavedroad,andagainoneimpressionfollowedrapidlyuponanother。
`Yes;whatwasthelastthingIthoughtofsoclearly?’shetriedtorecall。`Tiutkin,coiffeur?-No,notthat。Yes,ofwhatIashvinsays,thestruggleforexistenceandhatredisallthatholdsmentogether。No,it’sauselessjourneyyou’remaking,’shesaid,mentallyaddressingapartyinacoachandfour,evidentlygoingforanexcursionintothecountry。`Andthedogyou’retakingwithyouwillbenohelptoyou。Youcan’tgetawayfromyourselves。’TurninghereyesinthedirectionPiotrhadturnedtolook,shesawafactoryhandalmostdead-drunk,withhanginghead,beingledawaybyapoliceman。`Come,he’sfoundaquickerway,’shethought。`CountVronskyandIdidnotfindthathappinesseither,thoughweexpectedsomuchfromit。’AndnowforthefirsttimeAnnaturnedthatglaringlightinwhichshewasseeingeverythingonherrelationswithhim,whichshehadhithertoavoidedthinkingabout。`Whatwasithesoughtinme?Notlovesomuchasthesatisfactionofvanity。’Sherememberedhiswords,theexpressionofhisface,thatrecalledasubmissivesetterdog,intheearlydaysoftheirconnection。Andeverythingnowconfirmedthis。`Yes,therewasthetriumphofvanityinhim。Ofcoursetherewaslovetoo,butthechiefelementwastheprideofsuccess。Heboastedofme。Nowthat’sover。There’snothingtobeproudof。Nottobeproudof,buttobeashamedof。Hehastakenfrommeallhecould,andnowIamnousetohim。Heiswearyofmeandistryingnottobedishonorableinhisbehaviortome。Heletthatoutyesterday-hewantsdivorceandmarriagesoastoburnhisships。Helovesme,buthow?Thezestisgone,astheEnglishsay。Thatfellowwantseveryonetoadmirehimandisverymuchpleasedwithhimself,’shethought,lookingatared-facedclerk,ridingonariding-schoolhorse。`Yes,there’snotthesamezestaboutmeforhimnow。IfIgoawayfromhim,atthebottomofhishearthewillbeglad。’
Thiswasnotmeresupposition,shesawitdistinctlyinthepiercinglightwhichrevealedtohernowthemeaningoflifeandhumanrelations。
`Mylovekeepsgrowingmorepassionateandegoistic,whilehisiswaningandwaning,andthat’swhywe’redriftingapart。’Shewentonmusing。`Andthere’snohelpforit。Heiseverythingforme,andIwanthimmoreandmoretogivehimselfuptomeentirely。Andhewantsmoreandmoretogetawayfromme。Precisely:wewenttomeetoneanotheruptothetimeofourliaison,andsincethenwehavebeenirresistiblydriftingindifferentdirections。Andthere’snoalteringthat。HetellsmeI’minsanelyjealous,andIhavetoldmyselfthatIaminsanelyjealous;butit’snottrue。I’mnotjealous,butI’munsatisfied。But……’sheopenedherlips,andshiftedherplaceinthecarriageintheexcitement,arousedbythethoughtthatsuddenlystruckher。`IfIcouldbeanythingbutamistress,passionatelycaringfornothingbuthiscaresses;butIcan’t,andIdon’tcaretobeanythingelse。AndbythatdesireIrouseaversioninhim,andherousesfuryinme,anditcannotbedifferent。Don’tIknowthathewouldn’tdeceiveme,thathehasnoschemesaboutPrincessSorokina,thathe’snotinlovewithKitty,thathewon’tdesertme!Iknowallthat,butitmakesitnobetterforme。Ifwithoutlovingme,fromduty,he’llbegoodandkindtome,withoutwhatIwant-that’sathousandtimesworsethanunkindness!That’shell!Andthat’sjusthowitis。Foralongwhilenowhehasn’tlovedme。Andwhereloveends,hatebegins。Idon’tknowthesestreetsatall。Hills,apparently,andstillhouses,andhouses……Andinthehousesalwayspeopleandpeople……Howmanyofthem-noend,andallhatingeachother!Come,letmetryandthinkwhatIwanttomakemehappy。Well?SupposeIamdivorced,andAlexeiAlexandrovichletsmehaveSeriozha,andImarryVronsky。’ThinkingofAlexeiAlexandrovich,sheatoncepicturedhimwithextraordinaryvividnessasthoughhewerealivebeforeher,withhismild,lifeless,dulleyes,theblueveinsonhiswhitehands,hisintonations,andthecrackingofhisfingers,andrememberingthefeelingwhichhadexistedbetweenthem,andwhichwasalsocalledlove,sheshudderedwithloathing。`Well,I’mdivorced,andbecomeVronsky’swife。Well,willKittyceaselookingatmeasshelookedatmetoday?No。AndwillSeriozhaleaveoffaskingandwonderingaboutmytwohusbands?AndisthereanynewfeelingIcanawakenbetweenVronskyandme?Istherepossible,ifnothappiness,somesortofeasefrommisery?No,no!’sheanswerednowwithouttheslightesthesitation。`Impossible!Wearedrawnapartbylife,andImakehisunhappiness,andhemine,andthere’snoalteringhimorme。Everyattempthasbeenmade,thescrewhascomeunscrewed。Oh,abeggarwomanwithababy。ShethinksI’msorryforher。Aren’tweallflungintotheworldonlytohateeachother,andsototortureourselvesandeachother?Schoolboyscoming-laughing-Seriozha?’shethought。`Ithought,too,thatIlovedhim,andusedtobetouchedbymyowntenderness。ButIhavelivedwithouthim,Igavehimupforanotherlove,anddidnotregrettheexchangetillthatlovewassatisfied。’Andwithloathingshethoughtofwhatshemeantbythatlove。Andtheclearnesswithwhichshesawlifenow,herownandallmen’swasapleasuretoher。`It’ssowithmeandPiotr,andFiodorthecoachman,andthatmerchant,andallthepeoplelivingalongtheVolga,wherethoseplacardsinviteonetogo,andeverywhereandalways,’shethoughtwhenshehaddrivenunderthelow-pitchedroofoftheNizhny-Novgorodstationandtheportersrantomeether。
`AtickettoObiralovka?’saidPiotr。
Shehadutterlyforgottenwhereandwhyshewasgoing,andonlybyagreateffortsheunderstoodthequestion。
`Yes,’shesaid,handinghimherpurse,and,takingalittleredbaginherhand,shegotoutofthecarriage。
Makingherwaythroughthecrowdtothefirst-classwaitingroom,shegraduallyrecollectedallthedetailsofherposition,andtheplansbetweenwhichshewashesitating。Andagainattheoldsoreplaces,hopeandthendespairscrapedthewoundsofhertortured,fearfullythrobbingheart。Asshesatonthestar-shapedsofawaitingforthetrain,shegazedwithaversionatthepeoplecomingandgoingtheywereallhatefultoher,andthoughthowshewouldarriveatthestation,wouldwritehimanote,andwhatshewouldwritetohim,andhowhewasatthismomentcomplainingtohismotherofhisposition,notunderstandinghersufferings,andhowshewouldgointotheroom,andwhatshewouldsaytohim。Thenshethoughtthatlifemightstillbehappy,andhowmiserablyshelovedandhatedhim,andhowfearfullyherheartwasbeating。
Abellrang,someyoungmen,uglyandimpudent,andatthesametimecarefuloftheimpressiontheyweremaking,hurriedby。Piotr,too,crossedtheroominhisliveryandspatterdasheswithhisdull,brutishface,andcameuptohertotakehertothetrain。Thenoisyyoungmenwerequietasshepassedthemontheplatform,andonewhisperedsomethingabouthertoanother-somethingvile,nodoubt。Shesteppeduponthehighstep,andsatdowninacarriagebyherselfonadirtyspringseatthathadoncebeenwhite。Herbaglaybesideher,shakenupanddownbythespringinessoftheseat。WithafoolishsmilePiotrraisedhishat,withitsgalloonedband,atthewindow,intokenoffarewell;animpudentconductorslammedthedoorandthelatch。Agrotesque-lookingladywearingabustleAnnamentallyundressedthewoman,andwasappalledatherhideousness,andalittlegirllaughingaffectedly,randowntheplatform。
`KaterinaAndreevna,she’sgotthemall,matante!’criedthegirl。
`Eventhechild’shideousandaffected,’thoughtAnna。Toavoidseeinganyone,shegotupquicklyandseatedherselfattheoppositewindowoftheemptycarriage。Amisshapen-lookingpeasantcoveredwithdirt,inacapfromwhichhistangledhairstuckoutallaround,passedbythatwindow,stoopingdowntothecarriagewheels。`There’ssomethingfamiliaraboutthathideouspeasant,’thoughtAnna。Andrememberingherdream,shemovedawaytotheoppositedoor,shakingwithterror。Theconductoropenedthedoorandletinamanandhiswife。
`Doyouwishtogetout?’
Annamadenoanswer。Theconductorandhertwofellowpassengersdidnotnoticeunderherveilherpanic-strickenface。Shewentbacktohercornerandsatdown。Thecoupleseatedthemselvesontheoppositeside,andintentlybutsurreptitiouslyscrutinizedherclothes。BothhusbandandwifeseemedrepulsivetoAnna。Thehusbandaskedifshewouldallowhimtosmoke,obviouslynotwithaviewtosmoking,buttogettingintoconversationwithher。Receivingherassent,hesaidtohiswifeinFrenchsomethingaboutcaringlesstosmokethantotalk。Theymadeinaneandaffectedremarkstooneanother,entirelyforherbenefit。Annasawclearlythattheyweresickofeachother,andhatedeachother。Andnoonecouldhavehelpedhatingsuchmiserablemonstrosities。
Asecondbellsounded,andwasfollowedbymovingofluggage,noise,shoutingandlaughter。ItwassocleartoAnnathattherewasnothingforanyonetobegladof,thatthislaughterirritatedheragonizingly,andshewouldhavelikedtostopupherearsnottohearit。Atlastthethirdbellrang,therewasawhistleandahissofsteam,andaclankofchains,andthemaninhercarriagecrossedhimself。`Itwouldbeinterestingtoaskhimwhatmeaningheattachestothat,’thoughtAnna,lookingangrilyathim。Shelookedpasttheladyoutofthewindowatthepeoplewhoseemedwhirlingby,astheyranbesidethetrainorstoodontheplatform。Thetrain,jerkingatregularintervalsatthejunctionsoftherails,rolledbytheplatform,pastastonewall,asignalbox,pastothertrains;thewheels,movingmoresmoothlyandevenly,resoundedwithaslightclangontherails。Thewindowwaslightedupbythebrighteveningsun,andaslightbreezeflutteredthecurtain。Annaforgotherfellowpassengers,andtothelightswayingofthetrainshefelltothinkingagain,asshebreathedthefreshair。
`Yes,whatdidIstopat?ThatIcouldn’tfindaconditioninwhichlifewouldnotbeamisery,thatweareallcreatedtobemiserable,andthatweallknowit,andallinventmeansofdeceivingeachother。Andwhenoneseesthetruth,whatisonetodo?’
`That’swhyreasonisgiventoman,toescapefromwhatworrieshim,’saidtheladyinFrench,lispingaffectedly,andobviouslypleasedwithherphrase。
ThewordsseemedananswertoAnna’sthoughts。
`Toescapefromwhatworrieshim,’repeatedAnna。Andglancingatthered-cheekedhusbandandthethinwife,shesawthatthesicklywifeconsideredherselfmisunderstood,andthehusbanddeceivedherandencouragedherinthatideaofherself。Annaseemedtoseealltheirhistoryandallthecranniesoftheirsouls,turningalightuponthem,asitwere。Buttherewasnothinginterestinginthem,andshepursuedherthought。
`Yes,I’mverymuchworried,andthat’swhyreasonwasgivenme,toescape;sothen,onemustescape:whynotputoutthelightwhenthere’snothingmoretolookat,whenit’ssickeningtolookatitall?Buthow?Whydidtheconductorrunalongthefootboard,whyaretheyshrieking,thoseyoungmeninthattrain?Whyaretheytalking,whyaretheylaughing?It’sallfalsehood,alllying,allhumbug,allcruelty!……’
Whenthetraincameintothestation,Annagotoutintothecrowdofpassengers,andmovingapartfromthemasiftheywerelepers,shestoodontheplatform,tryingtothinkwhatshehadcomeherefor,andwhatshemeanttodo。Everythingthathadseemedtoherpossiblebeforewasnowsodifficulttoconsider,especiallyinthisnoisycrowdofhideouspeoplewhowouldnotleaveheralone。Atonemomentportersranuptoherprofferingtheirservices,thenyoungmenclackingtheirheelsontheplanksoftheplatformandtalkingloudly,staredather,thenpeoplemeetingherdodgedpastonthewrongside。Rememberingthatshehadmeanttogoonfartheriftherewasnoanswer,shestoppedaporterandaskedifhercoachmanwerenotherewithanotefromCountVronsky。
`CountVronsky?TheysentupherefromtheVronskysjustthisminute,tomeetPrincessSorokinaandherdaughter。Andwhatisthecoachmanlike?’
Justasshewastalkingtotheporter,thecoachmanMikhail,redandcheerfulinhissmartbluecoatandchain,evidentlyproudofhavingsosuccessfullyperformedhiscommission,cameuptoherandgaveheraletter。Shebrokeitopen,andherheartachedbeforeshehadreadit。
`Iamverysorryyournotedidnotreachme。Iwillbehomeatten,’Vronskyhadwrittencarelessly。
`Yes,that’swhatIexpected!’shesaidtoherselfwithanevilsmile。
`Verygood,youcangohomenow,’shesaidsoftly,addressingMikhail。Shespokesoftlybecausetherapidityofherheart’sbeatinghinderedherbreathing。`No,Iwon’tletTheemakememiserable,’shethoughtmenacingly,addressingnothim,notherself,butthepowerthatmadehersuffer,andshewalkedalongtheplatform。
Twomaidservantswalkingalongtheplatformturnedtheirheads,staringatherandmakingsomeremarksaboutherdress。`Real,’theysaidofthelaceshewaswearing。Theyoungmenwouldnotleaveherinpeace。Againtheypassedby,peeringintoherface,andwithalaughshoutingsomethinginanunnaturalvoice。Thestationmastercomingupaskedherwhethershewasgoingbythetrain。Aboysellingkvassnevertookhiseyesoffher。`MyGod!WhereamItogo?’shethought,goingfartherandfartheralongtheplatform。Attheendshestopped。Someladiesandchildren,whohadcometomeetagentlemaninspectacles,pausedintheirloudlaughterandtalking,andstaredatherasshereachedthem。Shequickenedherpaceandwalkedawayfromthemtotheedgeoftheplatform。Agoodstrainwascomingin。Theplatformbegantosway,andshefanciedshewasinthetrainagain。
AndallatonceshethoughtofthemancrushedbythetrainthedayshehadfirstmetVronsky,andsheknewwhatshehadtodo。Witharapid,lightstepshewentdownthestepsthatledfromtheplatformtotherailsandstoppedquiteneartheapproachingtrain。Shelookedatthelowerpartofthecarriages,atthescrewsandchains,andthetallcast-ironwheelofthefirstcarriageslowlymovingup,andtriedtomeasurethemiddlebetweenthefrontandbackwheels,andtheveryminutewhenthatmiddlepointwouldbeoppositeher。
`There,’shesaidtoherself,lookingintotheshadowofthecarriage,atthesandandcoaldustwhichcoveredthesleepers-`there,intheverymiddle,andIwillpunishhimandescapefromeveryoneandfrommyself。’
Shetriedtoflingherselfbelowthewheelsofthefirstcarasitreachedher;buttheredbagwhichshetriedtodropoutofherhanddelayedher,andshewastoolate;shemissedthemiddleofthecar。Shehadtowaitforthenextone。Afeelingsuchasshehadknownwhenabouttotakethefirstplungeinbathingcameuponher,andshecrossedherself。Thatfamiliargestureofcrossingbroughtbackintohersoulawholeseriesofgirlishandchildishmemories,andsuddenlythedarknessthathadcoveredeverythingforherwastornapart,andliferoseupbeforeherforaninstantwithallitsbrightpastjoys。Butshedidnottakehereyesfromthewheelsofthesecondcar。Andexactlyatthemomentwhenthespacebetweenthewheelscameoppositeher,shedroppedtheredbag,anddrawingherheadbackintohershoulders,fellonherhandsunderthecar,andlightly,asthoughshewouldriseagainatonce,droppedontoherknees。Andatthesameinstantshewasterror-strickenatwhatshewasdoing。`WhereamI?WhatamIdoing?Whatfor?’Shetriedtogetup,todropbackward;butsomethinghugeandmercilessstruckherontheheadanddrewalongonherback。`Lord,forgivemeall!’shesaid,feelingitimpossibletostruggle。Apeasant,mutteringsomething,wasworkingattheiron。Andthecandlebywhichshehadbeenreadingthebookfilledwithtroubles,falsehoods,sorrow,andevil,flaredupmorebrightlythaneverbefore,lightedupforherallthathadbeenindarkness,sputtered,begantogrowdim,andwasquenchedforever。
Almosttwomonthshadpassed。Thehotsummerwashalfover,butSergeiIvanovichwasonlyjustpreparingtoleaveMoscow。
SergeiIvanovich’slifehadnotbeenuneventfulduringthistime。Ayearagohehadfinishedhisbook,thefruitofsixyears’labor。AnInquiryConcerningthePrinciplesandFormsofGovernmentinEuropeandRussia。Severalsectionsofthisbookanditsintroductionhadappearedinperiodicalpublications,andotherpartshadbeenreadbySergeiIvanovichtopersonsofhiscircle,sothattheleadingideasoftheworkcouldnotbeentirelynoveltothepublic。Butstill,SergeiIvanovichhadexpectedthatonitsappearancehisbookwouldbesuretomakeaseriousimpressiononsociety,andifitdidnotcausearevolutioninsocialscienceitwould,atanyrate,makeagreatstirinthescientificworld。
Afterthemostconscientiousrevisionthebookhadlastyearbeenpublished,andhadbeendistributedamongthebooksellers。
Thoughheaskednooneaboutit,reluctantlyandwithfeignedindifferenceansweredhisfriends’inquiriesastohowthebookwasgoing,anddidnoteveninquireofthebooksellershowthebookwasselling,SergeiIvanovichwasallonthealert,withstrainedattention,watchingforthefirstimpressionhisbookwouldmakeintheworldandinliterature。
Butaweekpassed,asecond,athird,andinsocietynoimpressionwhatevercouldbedetected。Thoseofhisfriends,whowerespecialistsandsavants,occasionally-unmistakablyfrompoliteness-alludedtoit。Therestofhisacquaintances,notinterestedinabookonalearnedsubject,didnottalkofitatall。Andsocietygenerally-justnowespeciallyabsorbedinotherthings-wasabsolutelyindifferent。Inthepress,too,forawholemonththerewasnotawordabouthisbook。
SergeiIvanovichhadcalculatedtoanicetythetimenecessaryforwritingareview,butamonthpassed,andasecond,andstilltherewassilence。
OnlyintheNorthernBeetle,inacomicarticleonthesingerDrabanti,whohadlosthisvoice,therewasacontemptuousallusiontoKoznishev’sbook,suggestingthatthebookhadbeenlongagoseenthroughbyeveryone,andwasasubjectofgeneralridicule。
Atlast,inthethirdmonth,acriticalarticleappearedinaseriousreview。SergeiIvanovichknewtheauthorofthearticle。HehadmethimonceatGolubtsov’s。
Theauthorofthearticlewasayoungman,aninvalid,veryboldasawriter,butextremelydeficientinbreedingandshyinpersonalrelations。
Inspiteofhisabsolutecontemptfortheauthor,itwaswithcompleterespectthatSergeiIvanovichsetaboutreadingthearticle。Thearticlewasawful。
Thecritichadundoubtedlyputaninterpretationuponthebookwhichcouldnotpossiblybeputonit。Buthehadselectedquotationssoadroitlythatforpeoplewhohadnotreadthebookandobviouslyscarcelyanyonehadreadititseemedabsolutelyclearthatthewholebookwasnothingbutamedleyofhigh-flownphrases,noteven-assuggestedbymarksofinterrogation-usedappropriately,andthattheauthorofthebookwasapersonabsolutelywithoutknowledgeofthesubject。AndallthiswassowittilydonethatSergeiIvanovichwouldnothavedisownedsuchwithimself。Butthatwasjustwhatwassoawful。
InspiteofthescrupulousconscientiousnesswithwhichSergeiIvanovichverifiedthecorrectnessofthecritic’sarguments,hedidnotforaminutestoptoponderoverthefaultsandmistakeswhichwereridiculed;butunconsciouslyhebeganimmediatelytryingtorecalleverydetailofhismeetingandconversationwiththeauthorofthearticle。
`Didn’tIoffendhiminsomeway?’SergeiIvanovichwondered。
Andrememberingthatwhentheymethehadcorrectedtheyoungmanaboutsomethinghehadsaidthatbetrayedignorance,SergeiIvanovichfoundtheexplanationforthetrendofthearticle。
Thisarticlewasfollowedbyadeadlysilenceaboutthebookbothinthepressandinconversation,andSergeiIvanovichsawthathissixyears’task,toiledatwithsuchloveandlabor,hadgone,leavingnotrace。
SergeiIvanovich’spositionwasstillmoredifficultfromthefactthat,sincehehadfinishedhisbook,hehadhadmoreliteraryworktodo,suchashadhithertooccupiedthegreaterpartofhistime。
SergeiIvanovichwasclever,cultivatedhealthyandenergetic,andhedidnotknowwhatusetomakeofhisenergy。Conversationsindrawingrooms,inmeetings,assemblies,andcommittees-everywherewheretalkwaspossible-tookuppartofhistime。Butbeingusedforyearstotownlife,hedidnotwasteallhisenergiesintalk,ashislessexperiencedyoungerbrotherdid,whenhewasinMoscow。Hehadagreatdealofleisureandintellectualenergystilltodisposeof。
Fortunatelyforhim,atthisperiodsodifficultforhimbecauseofthefailureofhisbook,thevariouspublicquestionsofthedissentingsects,oftheAmericanFriends,oftheSamarafamine,ofexhibition,andofspiritualism,weredefinitelyreplacedinpublicinterestbytheSlavonicquestion,whichhadhithertoratherlanguidlyinterestedsociety,andSergeiIvanovich,whohadbeenoneofthefirsttoraisethissubject,threwhimselfintoitheartandsoul。
InthecircletowhichSergeiIvanovichbelonged,nothingwastalkedoforwrittenaboutjustnowbuttheServianwar。EverythingthattheidlecrowdusuallydoestokilltimewasdonenowforthebenefitoftheSlavonicpeoples。Balls,concerts,dinners,speeches,ladies’dresses,beer,taverns-everythingtestifiedtosympathywiththeSlavonicpeoples。
Frommuchofwhatwasspokenandwrittenonthesubject,SergeiIvanovichdifferedonvariouspoints。HesawthattheSlavonicquestionhadbecomeoneofthosefashionabledistractionswhichsucceedoneanotherinprovidingsocietywithanobjectandanoccupation。Hesaw,too,thatagreatmanypeopleweretakingupthesubjectfrommotivesofself-interestandself-advertisement。Herecognizedthatthenewspaperspublishedagreatdealthatwassuperfluousandexaggerated,withthesoleaimofattractingattentionandtalkingoneanotherdown。Hesawthatinthisgeneralmovementthosewhothrustthemselvesmostforwardandshoutedtheloudestweremenwhohadfailedandweresmartingunderasenseofinjury-generalswithoutarmies,ministersnotintheministry,journalistsnotonanypaper,partyleaderswithoutfollowers。Hesawthattherewasagreatdealinitthatwasfrivolousandabsurd。Buthesawandrecognizedanunmistakablegrowingenthusiasm,unitingallclasses,withwhichitwasimpossiblenottosympathize。ThemassacreofmenwhowerefellowChristians,andofthesameSlavonicrace,excitedsympathyforthesufferersandindignationagainsttheoppressors。AndtheheroismoftheServiansandMontenegrinsstrugglingforagreatcausebegotinthewholepeoplealongingtohelptheirbrothersnotinwordbutindeed。
ButinthistherewasanotheraspectthatmadeSergeiIvanovichrejoice。Thatwasthemanifestationofpublicopinion。Thepublichaddefinitelyexpresseditsdesire。Thesoulofthepeoplehad,asSergeiIvanovichsaid,foundexpression。Andthemoreheworkedinthiscause,themoreincontestableitseemedtohimthatitwasacausedestinedtoassumevastdimensions,tocreateanepoch。
Hethrewhimselfheartandsoulintotheserviceofthisgreatcause,andforgottothinkabouthisbook。
Hiswholetimenowwasengrossedbyit,sothathecouldscarcelymanagetoanswerallthelettersandappealsaddressedtohim。
Heworkedthewholespringandpartofthesummer,anditwasonlyinJulythathepreparedtogoawaytohisbrother’scountryplace。
Hewasgoingbothtorestforafortnight,andintheveryheartofthepeople,inthefarthestwildsofthecountry,toenjoythesightofthatupliftingofthespiritofthepeople,ofwhich,likeallresidentsinthecapitalandbigtowns,hewasfullypersuaded。KatavassovhadlongintendedtocarryouthispromisetostaywithLevin,andsohewasgoingwithhim。
SergeiIvanovichandKatavassovhadjustreachedthestationoftheKurskline,whichwasparticularlybusyandfullofpeoplethatday,when,lookingroundforthegroomwhowasfollowingwiththeirthings,theysawapartyofvolunteersdrivingupinfourcabs。Ladiesmetthemwithbouquetsofflowers,and,followedbytherushingcrowd,theywentintothestation。
Oneoftheladieswhohadmetthevolunteers,cameoutofthehallandaddressedSergeiIvanovich。
`Youalsocometoseethemoff?’sheaskedinFrench。
`No,I’mgoingawaymyself,Princess。Tomybrother’sforaholiday。Doyoualwaysseethemoff?’saidSergeiIvanovichwithabarelyperceptiblesmile。
`Oh,thatwouldbeimpossible!’answeredthePrincess。`Isittruethateighthundredhavebeensentfromusalready?Malvinskywouldn’tbelieveme。’
`Morethaneighthundred。IfyoureckonthosewhohavebeensentnotdirectlyfromMoscow,overathousand,’answeredSergeiIvanovich。
`There!That’sjustwhatIsaid!’exclaimedtheladyjoyously。`Andit’struetoo,Isuppose,thataboutamillionhasbeensubscribed?’
`Yes,Princess。’
`Whatdoyousaytotoday’stelegram?TheTurkshavebeenoverwhelmedagain。’
`Yes,soIsaw,’answeredSergeiIvanovich。TheywerespeakingofthelasttelegramstatingthattheTurkshadbeenforthreedaysinsuccessionbeatenatallpointsandputtoflight,andthattomorrowadecisiveengagementwasexpected。
`Ah,bytheway,asplendidyoungfellowhasaskedleavetogo,andthey’vemadesomedifficulty-Idon’tknowwhy。Imeanttoaskyou;Iknowhim;pleasewriteanoteabouthiscase。He’sbeingsentbyCountessLidiaIvanovna。’
SergeiIvanovichaskedforallthedetailsthePrincessknewabouttheyoungman,and,goingintothefirst-classwaitingroom,wroteanotetothepersononwhomthegrantingofleaveofabsencedepended,andhandedittothePrincess。
`YouknowCountVronsky,thenotoriousone……isgoingbythistrain?’saidthePrincesswithasmilefulloftriumphandmeaning,whenhefoundheragainandgavehertheletter。
`Ihadheardhewasgoing,butIdidnotknowwhen。Bythistrain?’
`I’veseenhim。He’shere:there’sonlyhismotherseeinghimoff。It’sthebestthing,anyway,thathecoulddo。’
`Oh,yes,ofcourse。’
Whiletheyweretalkingthecrowdstreamedbythemtowardthediningtable。Theywentforwardtoo,andheardagentlemanwithaglassinhishanddeliveringalouddiscoursetothevolunteers。`Intheserviceofreligion,humanity,andourbrethren,’thegentlemansaid,hisvoicegrowinglouderandlouder;`tothisgreatcausemotherMoscowdedicatesyouwithherblessing。Jivio!’heconcluded,concluded,loudlyandtearfully。
EveryoneshoutedJivio!andafreshcrowddashedintothehall,almostcarryingthePrincessoffherfeet。
`Ah,Princess!Thatwassomethinglike!’saidStepanArkadyevich,suddenlyappearinginthemidstofthecrowdandbeaminguponthemwithadelightedsmile。`Capitally,warmlysaid,wasn’tit?Bravo!AndSergeiIvanovich!Why,yououghttohavesaidsomething-justafewwords,youknow,toencouragethem;youdothatsowell,’headdedwithasoft,respectful,anddiscreetsmile,movingSergeiIvanovichforwardalittlebythearm。
`No,I’mjustoff。’
`Whereto?’
`Tothecountry,tomybrother’s,’answeredSergeiIvanovich。
`Thenyou’llseemywife。I’vewrittentoher,butyou’llseeherfirst。Pleasetellherthatthey’veseenmeandthatit’s``allright,’astheEnglishsay。She’llunderstand。Oh,andbesogoodastotellherI’mappointedmemberofthecommittee……Butshe’llunderstand!Youknow,lespetitesmisèresdelaviehumaine,’hesaid,asitwereapologizingtothePrincess。`AndPrincessMiaghkaia-notLiza,butBibish-issendingathousandgunsandtwelvenurses,afterall。DidItellyou?’
`Yes,Iheardso,’answeredKoznishevindifferently。
`It’sapityyou’regoingaway,’saidStepanArkadyevich。`Tomorrowwe’regivingadinnertotwowhoaresettingoff-Dimer-BiartnianskyfromPeterburgandourVeslovsky,Grisha。They’rebothgoing。Veslovsky’sonlylatelymarried。There’safinefellowforyou!Eh,Princess?’heturnedtothelady。
ThePrincesslookedatKoznishevwithoutreplying。ButthefactthatSergeiIvanovichandthePrincessseemedanxioustogetridofhimdidnotintheleastdisconcertStepanArkadyevich。Smiling,hestaredatthefeatherinthePrincess’shat,andthenabouthimasthoughheweregoingtopicksomethingup。Seeingaladyapproachingwithacollectionbox,hebeckonedherupandputinafive-roublenote。
`IcanneverseethesecollectionboxesunmovedwhileI’vemoneyinmypocket,’hesaid。`Andhowabouttoday’stelegram?FinechapsthoseMontenegrins!’
`Youdon’tsayso!’hecried,whenthePrincesstoldhimthatVronskywasgoingbythistrain。ForaninstantStepanArkadyevich’sfacelookedsad,butaminutelater,when,strokinghiswhiskersandswingingashewalked,hewentintothehallwhereVronskywas,hehadcompletelyforgottenhisowndespairingsobsoverhissister’scorpse,andhesawinVronskyonlyaheroandanoldfriend。
`Withallhisfaultsonecan’trefusetodohimjustice,’saidthePrincesstoSergeiIvanovich,assoonasStepanArkadyevichhadleftthem。`WhatatypicallyRussian,Slavnature!Only,I’mafraiditwon’tbepleasantforVronskytoseehim。Saywhatyouwill,I’mtouchedbythatman’sfate。Dotalktohimalittleontheway,’saidthePrincess。
`Yes,perhaps,iftheoccasionarises。’
`Ineverlikedhim。Butthisatonesforagreatdeal。He’snotmerelygoinghimself-he’stakingasquadronathisownexpense。’
`Yes,soIheard。’
Abellsounded。Everyonecrowdedtothedoors。
`Hereheis!’saidthePrincess,indicatingVronsky,who,withhismotheronhisarmwalkedby,wearingalongovercoatandwide-brimmedblackhat。Oblonskywaswalkingbesidehim,talkingeagerlyofsomething。
Vronskywasfrowningandlookingstraightbeforehim,asthoughhedidnothearwhatStepanArkadyevichwassaying。
ProbablyonOblonsky’spointingthemout,helookedroundinthedirectionwherethePrincessandSergeiIvanovichwerestanding,and,withoutspeaking,liftedhishat。Hisface,agedandwornbysuffering,lookedstony。
Goingontotheplatform,Vronskylefthismotheranddisappearedintoacompartment。
Ontheplatformthererangout`GodsavetheCzar,’thenshoutsof`Hurrah!’and`Jivio!’Oneofthevolunteers,atall,veryyoungmanwithahollowchest,wasparticularlyconspicuous,bowingandwavinghisfelthatandanosegayoverhishead。Thentwoofficersemerged,bowingtoo,andastoutmanwithabigbeard,wearingagreasyforagecap。
Havingsaidgood-bytothePrincess,SergeiIvanovichwasjoinedbyKatavassov;togethertheygotintoacarriagefulltooverflowing,andthetrainstarted。
AtCzaritsinostationthetrainwasmetbyachorusofyoungmensinging`HailtoThee!’Againthevolunteersbowedandpokedtheirheadsout,butSergeiIvanovichpaidnoattentiontothem。Hehadhadsomuchtodowiththevolunteersthatthetypewasfamiliartohimanddidnotinteresthim。Katavassov,whosescientificworkhadpreventedhishavingachanceofobservingthemhitherto,wasverymuchinterestedinthemandquestionedSergeiIvanovich。
SergeiIvanovichadvisedhimtogointothesecondclassandtalktothemhimself。AtthenextstationKatavassovactedonthissuggestion。
Atthefirststophemovedintothesecondclassandmadetheacquaintanceofthevolunteers。Theyweresittinginacornerofthecarriage,talkingloudlyandobviouslyawarethattheattentionofthepassengers,andofKatavassov,ashegotin,wasconcentrateduponthem。Moreloudlythanalltalkedthetall,hollow-chestedyoungman。Hewasunmistakablytipsy,andwasrelatingsomestorythathadoccurredathisschool。Facinghimsatamiddle-agedofficerintheAustrianmilitaryjacketoftheGuards’uniform。Hewaslisteningwithasmiletothehollow-chestedyouth,andoccasionallypullinghimup。Thethird,inanartilleryuniform,wassittingonaportmanteaubesidethem。Afourthwasasleep。
Enteringintoconversationwiththeyouth,KatavassovlearnedthathewasawealthyMoscowmerchantwhohadrunthroughalargefortunebeforehewastwo-and-twenty。Katavassovdidnotlikehim,becausehewasunmanlyandeffeminateandsickly。Hewasobviouslyconvinced,especiallynowafterdrinking,thathewasperformingaheroicaction,andhebraggedofitinthemostunpleasantway。
Thesecond,theretiredofficer,madeanunpleasantimpressiontoouponKatavassov。Hewas,itseemed,amanwhohadtriedeverything。Hehadbeenonarailway,hadbeenalandsteward,andhadstartedfactories,andhetalked,quitewithoutnecessity,ofeverything,andusedlearnedexpressionsquiteinappropriately。
Thethird,theartilleryman,onthecontrary,struckKatavassovveryfavorably。Hewasaquiet,modestfellow,unmistakablyimpressedbytheknowledgeoftheofficerandtheheroicself-sacrificeofthemerchant,andsayingnothingabouthimself。WhenKatavassovaskedhimwhathadimpelledhimtogotoServia,heansweredmodestly:
`Oh,well,everyone’sgoing。TheServianswanthelp,too。I’msorryforthem。’
`Yes,youartillerymenareespeciallyscarcethere,’saidKatavassov。
`Oh,Iwasn’tlongintheartillery;maybethey’llputmeintotheinfantryorthecavalry。’
`Intotheinfantry,whentheyneedartillerymorethananything?’saidKatavassov,fancyingfromtheartilleryman’sapparentagethathemusthavereachedafairlyhighgrade。
`Iwasn’tlongintheartillery;I’majunker,inreserve,’hesaid,andhebegantoexplainhowhehadfailedinhisexamination。
AllofthistogethermadeadisagreeableimpressiononKatavassov,andwhenthevolunteersgotoutatastationforadrink,Katavassovwouldhavelikedtocomparehisunfavorableimpressioninconversationwithsomeone。Therewasanoldmaninthecarriage,wearingamilitaryovercoat,whohadbeenlisteningallthewhiletoKatavassov’sconversationwiththevolunteers。Whentheywereleftalone,Katavassovaddressedhim。
`Whatdifferentpositionstheycomefrom,allthosefellowswhoaregoingoffthere,’Katavassovsaidvaguely,notwishingtoexpresshisownopinion,andatthesametimeanxioustofindouttheoldman’sviews。
Theoldmanwasanofficerwhohadservedintwocampaigns。Heknewwhatmakesasoldier,and,judgingbytheappearanceandthetalkofthosepersons,bytheswaggerwithwhichtheyhadrecoursetothebottleonthejourney,heconsideredthempoorsoldiers。Moreover,helivedinadistricttown,andhewaslongingtotellhowonesoldierhadvolunteeredfromhistown,adrunkardandathiefwhomnoonewouldemployasalaborer。Butknowingbyexperiencethatinthepresentconditionofthepublictemperitwasdangeroustoexpressanopinionopposedtothegeneralone,andespeciallytocriticizethevolunteersunfavorably,hetoowatchedKatavassovwithoutcommittinghimself。
`Well,menarewantedthere,’hesaid,laughingwithhiseyes。Andtheyfelltotalkingofthelastwarnews,andeachconcealedfromtheotherhisperplexityastotheengagementexpectednextday,sincetheTurkshadbeenbeaten,accordingtothelatestnews,allalongtheline。Andsotheyparted,neithergivingexpressiontohisopinion。
Katavassovwentbacktohisowncarriage,andwithreluctanthypocrisyreportedtoSergeiIvanovichhisobservationsofthevolunteers,fromwhichitwouldappearthattheywerecapitalfellows。
Atabigstationatatownthevolunteerswereagaingreetedwithshoutsandsinging,againmenandwomenwithcollectionboxesappeared,andprovincialladiesbroughtbouquetstothevolunteersandfollowedthemintotherefreshmentroom;butallthiswasonamuchsmallerandfeeblerscalethaninMoscow。
Whilethetrainwasstoppingattheprovincialtown,SergeiIvanovichdidnotgototherefreshmentroom,butwalkedupanddowntheplatform。
ThefirsttimehepassedVronsky’scompartmenthenoticedthatthecurtainwasdrawnoverthewindow;butashepasseditthesecondtimehesawtheoldCountessatthewindow。ShebeckonedtoKoznishev。
`I’mgoing,yousee-takinghimasfarasKursk,’shesaid。
`Yes,soIheard,’saidSergeiIvanovich,standingatherwindowandpeepingin。`Whatanobleactonhispart!’headded,noticingthatVronskywasnotinthecompartment。
`Yes,afterhismisfortune,whatwasthereforhimtodo?’
`Whataterriblethingitwas!’saidSergeiIvanovich。
`Ah,whatIhavebeenthrough!Butdogetin……Ah,whatIhavebeenthrough!’sherepeated,whenSergeiIvanovichhadgotinandsatdownbesideher。`Youcan’tconceiveit!Forsixweekshedidnotspeaktoanyone,andwouldnottouchfoodexceptwhenIimploredhim。Andnotforoneminutecouldweleavehimalone。Wetookawayeverythinghecouldhaveusedagainsthimself。Welivedonthegroundfloor,buttherewasnoreckoningonanything。Youknow,ofcourse,thathehadshothimselfoncealreadyonheraccount,’shesaid,andtheoldlady’sbrowscontractedattherecollection。`Yes,herswasthefittingendforsuchawoman。Eventhedeathshechosewaslowandvulgar。’
`It’snotforustojudge,Countess,’saidSergeiIvanovichsighing;`butIcanunderstandthatithasbeenveryhardforyou。’
`Ah,don’tspeakofit!Iwasstayingonmyestate,andhewaswithme。Anotewasbroughthim。Hewroteananswerandsentitoff。Wehadn’tanideathatshewasclosebyatthestation。IntheeveningIhadonlyjustgonetomyroom,whenmyMarytoldmealadyhadthrownherselfunderthetrain。Somethingseemedtostrikemeatonce。Iknewitwasshe。ThefirstthingIsaidwasthathewasnottobetold。Butthey’dtoldhimalready。Hiscoachmanwasthereandsawitall。WhenIranintohisroom,hewasbesidehimself-itwasfrightfultoseehim。Hedidn’tsayaword,butgallopedoffthere。Idon’tknowtothisdaywhathappenedthere,buthewasbroughtbackatdeath’sdoor。Ishouldn’thaveknownhim。Prostrationcomplète,thedoctorsaid。Andthatwasfollowedalmostbymadness。Oh,whytalkofit!’saidtheCountesswithawaveofherhand。`Itwasanawfultime!No,saywhatyouwill,shewasabadwoman。Why,whatisthemeaningofsuchdesperatepassions?Itwasalltoshowherselfsomethingoutoftheordinary。Well,andthatshediddo。Shebroughtherselftoruinandtwogoodmen-herhusband,andmyunhappyson。’
`Andwhatdidherhusbanddo?’askedSergeiIvanovich。
`Hehastakenherdaughter。Alioshawasreadytoagreetoanythingatfirst。Nowitworrieshimterriblythatheshouldhavegivenhisownchildawaytoanotherman。Buthecan’ttakebackhisword。Karenincametothefuneral。ButwetriedtopreventhismeetingAliosha。Forhim,forherhusband,itwaseasier,anyway。Shehadsethimfree。Butmypoorsonwasutterlygivenuptoher。Hehadthrownupeverything,hiscareer,me,andeventhenshehadnomercyonhim,butofsetpurposeshemadehisruincomplete。No,saywhatyouwill,herverydeathwasthedeathofavilewoman,ofnoreligiousfeeling。Godforgiveme,butIcan’thelphatingthememoryofher,whenIlookatmyson’smisery!’
`Buthowishenow?’
`ItwasablessingfromProvidenceforus-thisServianwar。I’mold,andIdon’tunderstandtherightsandwrongsofit,butit’scomeasaprovidentialblessingtohim。Ofcourseforme,ashismother,it’sterrible;andwhat’sworse,theysay,cen’estpastrèsbienvuaPétersbourg。Butitcan’tbehelped!Itwastheonethingthatcouldrousehim。Iashvin-afriendofhis-hehadlostallhehadatcardsandhewasgoingtoServia。Hecametoseehimandpersuadedhimtogo。Nowit’saninterestforhim。Dopleasetalktohimalittle。Iwanttodistracthismind。He’ssolow-spirited。And,asbadluckwouldhaveit,hehastoothachetoo。Buthe’llbedelightedtoseeyou。Pleasedotalktohim;he’swalkingupanddownonthatside。’
SergeiIvanovichsaidhewouldbeverygladto,andcrossedovertotheothersideofthestation。
Intheslantingeveningshadowscastbythebaggagepiledupontheplatform,Vronskyinhislongovercoatandslouchhat,withhishandsinhispockets,strodeupanddown,likeawildbeastinacage,turningsharplyeverytwentypaces。SergeiIvanovichfancied,asheapproachedhim,thatVronskysawhimbutwaspretendingnottosee。ThisdidnotaffectSergeiIvanovichintheslightest。HewasaboveallpersonalconsiderationswithVronsky。
AtthatmomentSergeiIvanovichlookeduponVronskyasamantakinganimportantpartinagreatcause,andKoznishevthoughtithisdutytoencouragehimandexpresshisapproval。Hewentuptohim。
Vronskystoodstill,lookedintentlyathim,recognizedhim,andgoingafewstepsforwardtomeethim,shookhandswithhimverywarmly。
`Possiblyyoudidn’twishtoseeme,’saidSergeiIvanovich,`butcouldn’tIbeofusetoyou?’
`There’snooneIshouldlessdislikeseeingthanyou,’saidVronsky。`Forgiveme。There’snothinginlifeformetolike。’
`Iquiteunderstand,andImerelymeanttoofferyoumyservices,’saidSergeiIvanovich,scanningVronsky’sface,fullofunmistakablesuffering。`Wouldn’titbeofusetoyoutohavealettertoRistich,toMilan?’
`Oh,no!’Vronskysaid,seemingtounderstandhimwithdifficulty。`Ifyoudon’tmind,let’swalkon。It’ssostuffyamongthecars。Aletter?No,thankyou;tomeetdeathoneneedsnolettersofintroduction。TheTurkstake……’hesaid,withasmilethatwasmerelyofthelips。Hiseyesstillkepttheirlookofangrysuffering。
`Yes;butyoumightfinditeasiertogetintorelations,whichareafterallessential,withanyonepreparedtoseeyou。Butthat’sasyoulike。Iwasverygladtohearofyourintention。Therehavebeensomanyattacksmadeonthevolunteers,andamanlikeyouraisestheminpublicestimation。’
`Myuseasaman,’saidVronsky,`isthatlife’sworthnothingtome。AndthatI’veenoughbodilyenergytocutmywayintotheirranks,andtotrampleonthemorfall-Iknowthat。I’mgladthere’ssomethingtogivemylifefor,forit’snotsimplyuselessbutloathsometome。Anyone’swelcometoit。’Andhisjawtwitchedimpatientlyfromtheincessantnaggingtoothache,thatpreventedhimfromevenspeakingwithanaturalexpression。
`Youwillbecomeanotherman,Ipredict,’saidSergeiIvanovich,feelingtouched。`Todeliverone’sbrethrenfrombondageisanaimworthdeathandlife。Godgrantyousuccessoutwardly-andinwardlypeace,’headded,andheheldouthishand。
Vronskywarmlysqueezedhisoutstretchedhand。
`Yes,asaweaponImaybeofsomeuse。Butasaman,I’mawreck,’hejerkedout。
Hecouldhardlyspeakforthethrobbingacheinhisstrongtooth,hismouthbeingfilledupwithsaliva。Hewassilent,andhiseyesrestedonthewheelsofthetender,slowlyandsmoothlyrollingalongtherails。
Andallatonceadifferentpain,notanache,butaninnertrouble,thatsethiswholebeinginanguish,madehimforaninstantforgethistoothache。Asheglancedatthetenderandtherails,undertheinfluenceoftheconversationwithafriendhehadnotmetsincehismisfortune,hesuddenlyrecalledher-thatis,whatwasleftofherwhenhehadrunlikeonedistraughtintothebarrackoftherailwaystation:onthetable,shamelesslysprawlingoutamongstrangers,thebloodstainedbodysolatelyfulloflife;theheadunhurtdroppingbackwithitsweightofhair,andthecurlingtressesaboutthetemples,andtheexquisiteface,withred,half-openedmouth,thestrange,fixedexpression,piteousonthelipsandawfulinthestillopeneyes,thatseemedtoutterthatfearfulphrase-thathewouldbesorryforit-whichshehadsaidwhentheywerequarreling。
Andhetriedtothinkofherasshewaswhenhemetherthefirsttime,atarailwaystationtoo,mysterious,exquisite,loving,seekingandgivinghappiness,andnotcruellyrevengefulasherememberedheratthatlastmoment。Hetriedtorecallhisbestmomentswithher,butthosemomentswerepoisonedforever。Hecouldonlythinkofherastriumphant,successfulinhermenaceofawhollyuselessremorse,nevertobeeffaced。Helostallconsciousnessoftoothache,andhisfaceworkedwithsobs。
Passingtwiceupanddownbesidethebaggageinsilenceandregaininghisself-possession,headdressedSergeiIvanovichcalmly:
`Youhavehadnotelegramssinceyesterday’s?Yes,drivenbackforathirdtime,butadecisiveengagementexpectedfortomorrow。’
AndaftertalkingalittlemoreoftheproclaimingofMilanasKing,andtheimmenseeffectthismighthave,theyparted,goingtotheircarsonhearingthesecondbell。
SergeiIvanovichhadnottelegraphedtohisbrothertosendtomeethim,ashedidnotknowwhenheshouldbeabletoleaveMoscow。LevinwasnotathomewhenKatavassovandSergeiIvanovich,inawagonettehiredatthestation,droveuptothestepsofthePokrovskoehouse,asblackasNegroesfromthedustoftheroad。Kitty,sittingonthebalconywithherfatherandsister,recognizedherbrother-in-law,andrandowntomeethim。
`Whatashamenottohaveletusknow,’shesaid,givingherhandtoSergeiIvanovich,andputtingherforeheadupforhimtokiss。
`Wedroveherecapitally,andhavenotputyouout,’answeredSergeiIvanovich。`I’msodirty。I’mafraidtotouchyou。I’vebeensobusy,Ididn’tknowwhenIshouldbeabletotearmyselfaway。Andsoyou’restillaseverenjoyingyourpeaceful,quiethappiness,’hesaid,smiling,`outofthereachofthecurrentinyourpeacefulbackwater。Here’sourfriendFiodorVassilievich,successfulingettinghereatlast。’
`ButI’mnotaNegro;IshalllooklikeahumanbeingwhenIwash,’saidKatavassovinhisjestingfashion,andheshookhandsandsmiled,histeethflashingwhiteinhisblackface。
`Kostiawillbedelighted。Hehasgonetohisgrange。It’stimeheshouldbehome。’
`Busyaseverwithhisfarming。Itreallyisapeacefulbackwater,’saidKatavassov;`whileweintownthinkofnothingbuttheServianwar。Well,howdoesourfriendlookatit?He’ssurenottothinklikeotherpeople。’
`Oh,Idon’tknow,he’slikeeverybodyelse,’Kittyanswered,alittleembarrassed,lookingroundatSergeiIvanovich。`I’llsendtofetchhim。Papa’sstayingwithus。He’sonlyjustcomehomefromabroad。’
AndmakingarrangementstosendforLevinandforthegueststowash,oneinhisroomandtheotherinwhathadbeenDolly’s,andgivingordersfortheirluncheon,Kittyranoutonthebalcony,enjoyingthefreedomandrapidityofmovement,ofwhichshehadbeendeprivedduringthemonthsofherpregnancy。
`It’sSergeiIvanovichandKatavassov,aprofessor,’shesaid。
`Oh,it’shardinsuchaheat,’saidthePrince。
`No,papa,he’sverynice,andKostia’sveryfondofhim,’Kittysaid,withadeprecatingsmile,noticingtheironyonherfather’sface。
`Oh,Ididn’tsayanything。’
`Yougotothem,darling,’saidKittytohersister,`andentertainthem。TheysawStivaatthestation;hewasquitewell。AndImustruntoMitia。Asillluckwouldhaveit,Ihaven’tfedhimsincetea。He’sawakenow,andsuretobescreaming。’And,feelingarushofmilk,shehurriedtothenursery。
Thiswasnotamereguess;herconnectionwiththechildwasstillsoclosethatshecouldgaugebytheflowofhermilkhisneedoffood,andknewforcertainhewashungry。
Sheknewhewascryingbeforeshereachedthenursery。Andhewasindeedcrying。Sheheardhimandhastened。Butthefastershewentthelouderhescreamed。Itwasafinehealthyscream,hungryandimpatient。
`Hashebeenscreaminglong,nurse-verylong?’saidKitty,hurriedlyseatingherselfonachair,andpreparingtogivethebabythebreast。`Butgivemehimquickly。Oh,nurse,howtiresomeyouare!There,tiethecapafterward,do!’
Thebaby’sgreedyscreamwaspassingintosobs。
`Butyoucan’tmanageso,ma’am,’saidAgathyaMikhailovna,whowasalmostalwaystobefoundinthenursery。`Hemustbeputstraight。A-oo!A-oo!’shechantedoverhim,payingnoattentiontothemother。
Thenursebroughtthebabytohismother。AgathyaMikhailovnafollowedhimwithafacemeltingwithtenderness。
`Heknowsme,heknowsme。InGod’sfaith,KaterinaAlexandrovna,ma’am,herecognizedme!’AgathyaMikhailovnacriedabovethebaby’sscreams。
ButKittydidnothearherwords。Herimpatiencekeptgrowing,likethebaby’s。
Theirimpatiencehinderedthingsforawhile。Thebabycouldnotgetholdofthebreastright,andwasfurious。
Atlast,afterdespairing,breathlessscreaming,andvainsucking,thingswentright,andmotherandchildfeltsimultaneouslysoothed,andbothsubsidedintocalm。
`Butpoordarling,he’sallinperspiration!’saidKittyinawhisper,touchingthebaby。`Whatmakesyouthinkheknowsyou?’sheadded,withasidelongglanceatthebaby’seyes,thatpeeredroguishly,asshefancied,fromunderhiscap,athisrhythmicallypuffingcheeks,andthelittlered-palmedhandhewaswaving。
`Impossible!Ifheknewanyone,hewouldhaveknownme,’saidKitty,inresponsetoAgathyaMikhailovna’sstatement,andshesmiled。
Shesmiledbecause,thoughshesaidhecouldnotknowher,inherheartshewassurethatheknewnotmerelyAgathyaMikhailovna,butthatheknewandunderstoodeverything,andknewandunderstoodagreatdealtoothatnooneelseknew,andthatshe,hismother,hadlearnedandcometounderstandonlythroughhim。ToAgathyaMikhailovna,tothenurse,tohisgrandfather,tohisfathereven,Mitiawasalivingbeing,requiringonlymaterialcare,butforhismotherhehadlongbeenamoralbeing,withwhomtherehadbeenawholeseriesofspiritualrelationsalready。
`Whenhewakesup,pleaseGod,youshallseeforyourself。ThenwhenIdolikethis,hesimplybeamsonme,thedarling!Simplybeamslikeasunnyday!’saidAgathyaMikhailovna。
`Well,well;thenweshallsee,’whisperedKitty。`Butnowgoaway,he’sgoingtosleep。’