首页 >出版文学> Anna Karenina (安娜·卡列尼娜)>第17章
  StepanArkadyevich,withthesamesomewhatsolemnexpressionwithwhichheusedtotakehispresidentialchairathisboard,walkedintoAlexeiAlexandrovich’sroom。AlexeiAlexandrovichwaswalkingabouthisroomwithhishandsbehindhisback,thinkingofjustwhatStepanArkadyevichhadbeendiscussingwithhiswife。
  `I’mnotinterruptingyou?’saidStepanArkadyevich,onthesightofhisbrother-in-lawbecomingsuddenlyawareofasenseofembarrassmentunusualwithhim。Toconcealthisembarrassmenthetookoutanewlypurchasedcigarettecasethatopenedinanewway,and,sniffingtheleather,tookacigaretteoutofit。
  `No。Doyouwantanything?’AlexeiAlexandrovichsaidreluctantly。
  `Yes,Iwished……Iwanted……Yes,Iwantedtotalktoyou,’saidStepanArkadyevich,withsurpriseawareofanunaccustomedtimidity。
  Thisfeelingwassounexpectedandsostrangethathedidnotbelieveitwasthevoiceofconsciencetellinghimthatwhathemeanttodowaswrong。StepanArkadyevichmadeaneffortandstruggledwiththetimiditythathadcomeoverhim。
  `Ihopeyoubelieveinmyloveformysisterandmysincereaffectionandrespectforyou,’hesaid,reddening。
  AlexeiAlexandrovichstoodstillandsaidnothing,buthisfacestruckStepanArkadyevichbyitsexpressionofanunresistingsacrifice。
  `Iintended……Iwantedtohavealittletalkwithyouaboutmysisterandyourmutualposition,’hesaid,stillstrugglingwithanunaccustomedconstraint。
  AlexeiAlexandrovichsmiledmournfully,lookedathisbrother-in-law,and,withoutanswering,wentuptothetable,tookfromitanunfinishedletter,andhandedittohisbrother-in-law。
  `Ithinkunceasinglyofthesamething。AndhereiswhatIhadbegunwriting,thinkingIcouldsayitbetterbyletter,andthatmypresenceirritatesher,’hesaid,ashegavehimtheletter。
  StepanArkadyevichtooktheletter,lookedwithincreduloussurpriseatthelusterlesseyesfixedsoimmovablyonhim,andbegantoread:
  `Iseethatmypresenceisirksometoyou。Painfulasitistometobelieveit,Iseethatitisso,andcannotbeotherwise。Idon’tblameyou,andGodismywitnessthatonseeingyouatthetimeofyourillnessIresolvedwithmywholehearttoforgetallthathadpassedbetweenus,andtobeginanewlife。Idonotregret,andshallneverregret,whatIhavedone;butIhavedesiredonething-yourgood,thegoodofyoursoul-andnowIseeIhavenotattainedthat。Tellmeyourselfwhatwillgiveyoutruehappinessandpeacetoyoursoul。Iputmyselfentirelyinyourhands,andtrusttoyourfeelingofwhatisright。’
  StepanArkadyevichhandedbacktheletter,and,withthesamesurprise,continuedlookingathisbrother-in-law,notknowingwhattosay。ThissilencewassoawkwardforbothofthemthatStepanArkadyevich’slipsbegantwitchingnervously,whilehestillgazedwithoutspeakingatKarenin’sface。
  `That’swhatIwantedtosaytoher,’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich,turningaway。
  `Yes,yes……’saidStepanArkadyevich,notabletoanswerforthetearsthatwerechokinghim。`Yes,yes,Iunderstandyou,’hebroughtoutatlast。
  `Iwanttoknowwhatshewouldlike,’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich。
  `Iamafraidshedoesnotunderstandherownposition。Sheisnotajudge,’saidStepanArkadyevich,recoveringhimself。`Sheiscrushed,simplycrushedbyyourgenerosity。Ifsheweretoreadthisletter,shewouldbeincapableofsayinganything-shewouldonlyhangherheadlowerthanever。’
  `Yes,butwhat’stobedoneinthatcase?Howexplain……howfindoutherwishes?’
  `Ifyouwillallowmetogivemyopinion,Ithinkthatitlieswithyoutopointoutdirectlythestepsyouconsidernecessarytoendthesituation。’
  `Soyouconsideritmustbeended?’AlexeiAlexandrovichinterruptedhim。`Buthow?’headded,withagestureofhishandsbeforehiseyes,notusualwithhim。`Iseenopossiblewayoutofit。’
  `Thereissomewayofgettingoutofeverysituation,’saidStepanArkadyevich,standingupandbecomingmorecheerful。`Therewasatimewhenyouthoughtofbreakingoff……Ifyouareconvincednowthatyoucannotmakeeachotherhappy……’
  `Happinessmaybevariouslyunderstood。ButsupposethatIagreetoeverything,thatIwantnothing:whatwayisthereofgettingoutofoursituation?’
  `Ifyoucaretoknowmyopinion,’-saidStepanArkadyevich,withthesamesmileofsoftening,almond-oiltendernesswithwhichhehadbeentalkingtoAnna。HiskindlysmilewassowinningthatAlexeiAlexandrovich,feelinghisownweaknessandunconsciouslyswayedbyit,wasreadytobelievewhatStepanArkadyevichwassaying。`Shewillneverspeakoutaboutit。Butonethingispossible,onethingshemightdesire,’hewenton;`thatisthecessationofyourrelations,andallmemoriesassociatedwiththem。Tomythinking,inyoursituationtheessentialthingistheformationofanewattitudetooneanother。Andthatcanonlyrestonabasisoffreedomonbothsides。’
  `Divorce,’AlexeiAlexandrovichinterrupted,inatoneofaversion。
  `Yes,Iimaginethatdivorce……Yes,divorce,’StepanArkadyevichrepeated,reddening。`Thatisfromeverypointofviewthemostrationalcourseformarriedpeoplewhofindthemselvesinthesituationyouarein。Whatcanbedoneifmarriedpeoplefindthatlifeisimpossibleforthemtogether?Thatmayalwayshappen。’
  AlexeiAlexandrovichsighedheavilyandclosedhiseyes。
  `There’sonlyonepointtobeconsidered:iseitherofthepartiesdesirousofformingnewties?Ifnot,itisverysimple,’saidStepanArkadyevich,feelingmoreandmorefreefromconstraint。
  AlexeiAlexandrovich,scowlingwithemotion,mutteredsomethingtohimself,andmadenoanswer。AllthatseemedsosimpletoStepanArkadyevich,AlexeiAlexandrovichhadthoughtoverthousandsoftimes。And,sofarfrombeingsimple,itallseemedtohimutterlyimpossible:divorce,thedetailsofwhichheknewbythistime,seemedtohimnowoutofthequestion,becausethesenseofhisowndignityandrespectforreligionforbadehistakinguponhimselfafictitiouschargeofadultery,andstillmore,sufferinghiswife,pardonedandbelovedbyhim,tobecaughtinthefactandputtopublicshame。Divorceappearedtohimimpossiblealsoonother,stillmoreweightygrounds。
  Whatwouldbecomeofhissonincaseofadivorce?Toleavehimwithhismotherwasoutofthequestion。Thedivorcedmotherwouldhaveherownillegitimatefamily,inwhichhisstatusasastepson,andhiseducation,wouldbeprobablybad。Keephimwithhim?Heknewthatwouldbeanactofvengeanceonhispart,andthathedidnotdesire。But,apartfromthis,whatmorethanallmadedivorceseemimpossibletoAlexeiAlexandrovichwasthat,byconsentingtoadivorce,hewouldbecompletelyruiningAnna。ThesayingofDaryaAlexandrovnaatMoscow,thatindecidingonadivorcehewasthinkingofhimself,andnotconsideringthatbythishewouldberuiningherirrevocably,hadsunkintohisheart。Andconnectingthissayingwithhisforgivenessofher,withhisdevotiontothechildren,heunderstooditnowinhisownway。Toconsenttoadivorce,togiveherherfreedom,meantinhisthoughtstotakefromhimselfthelasttiethatboundhimtolife-thechildrenwhomheloved;andtotakefromherthelastpropthatkeptheronthepathofright,tothrustherdowntoherruin。Ifsheweredivorced,heknewshewouldjoinherlifetoVronsky’s,andtheirtiewouldbeanillegitimateandcriminalone,sinceawife,bytheinterpretationoftheecclesiasticallaw,couldnotmarrywhileherhusbandwasliving。`Shewilljoinhim,andinayearortwohewillthrowherover,orshewillformanewtie,’thoughtAlexeiAlexandrovich。`AndI,byagreeingtoanunlawfuldivorce,shallbetoblameforherruin。’Hehadthoughtitalloverhundredsoftimes,andwasconvincedthatadivorcewasnotatallsimple,asStepanArkadyevichhadsaid,butwasutterlyimpossible。HedidnotbelieveasinglewordStepanArkadyevichsaidtohim;toeverywordhehadathousandobjectionstomake,buthelistenedtohim,feelingthathiswordsweretheexpressionofthatmightybrutalforcewhichcontrolledhislife,andtowhichhewouldhavetosubmit。
  `Theonlyquestionisonwhattermsyouagreetogiveheradivorce。Shedoesnotwantanything,doesnotdareaskyouforanything-sheleavesitalltoyourmagnanimity。’
  `MyGod,myGod!Whatfor?’thoughtAlexeiAlexandrovich,rememberingthedetailsofdivorceproceedingsinwhichthehusbandtooktheblameonhimself,andwithjustthesamegesturewithwhichVronskyhaddoneit,hehidhisfaceinhishandsinshame。
  `Youaretroubled,Iunderstandthat。Butifyouthinkitover……’
  `’Anduntohimthatsmiteththeeontheonecheekofferalsotheother;andhimthattakethawaythycloakforbidnottotakethycoatalso,’’thoughtAlexeiAlexandrovich。
  `Yes,yes!’hecriedinashrillvoice。`Iwilltakethedisgraceonmyself,Iwillgiveupevenmyson,but……Butwouldn’titbebettertoletitalone?Still,youmaydoasyoulike……’
  And,turningawaysothathisbrother-in-lawcouldnotseehim,hesatdownonachairatthewindow。Therewasbitterness,therewasshameinhisheart,butwithbitternessandshamehefeltjoyandemotionattheheightofhisownmeekness。
  StepanArkadyevichwastouched。Hewassilentforaspace。
  `AlexeiAlexandrovich,believeme,sheappreciatesyourmagnanimity,’hesaid。`ButitseemsitwasthewillofGod,’headded,andashesaiditfelthowfoolisharemarkitwas,andwithdifficultyrepressedasmileathisownfoolishness。
  AlexeiAlexandrovichwouldhavemadesomereply,buttearsstoppedhim。
  `Thisisanunhappyfatality,andonemustacceptitassuch。Iacceptthecalamityasanaccomplishedfact,andamdoingmybesttohelpbothherandyou,’saidStepanArkadyevich。
  Whenhewentoutofhisbrother-in-law’sroomhewastouched,butthatdidnotpreventhimfrombeinggladhehadsuccessfullybroughtthemattertoaconclusion,forhefeltcertainAlexeiAlexandrovichwouldnotgobackonhiswords。Tothissatisfactionwasaddedthefactthatanideahadjuststruckhimforaconundrumturningonhissuccessfulachievement-whentheaffairwasoverhewouldputittohiswifeandmostintimatefriends。Hetriedthisconundrumintwoorthreedifferentways。`ButI’llworkitoutbetterthanthat,’hesaidtohimselfwithasmile。
  Vronsky’swoundhadbeenadangerousone,thoughitdidnottouchtheheart,andforseveraldayshehoveredbetweenlifeanddeath。Thefirsttimehewasabletospeak,Varia,hisbrother’swife,wasaloneintheroom。
  `Varia,’hesaid,lookingsternlyather,`Ishotmyselfbyaccident。Andpleaseneverspeakofit,andtelleveryoneso。Orelseit’stooridiculous。’
  Withoutansweringhiswords,Variabentoverhim,andwithadelightedsmilegazedintohisface。Hiseyeswereclear,notfeverish;buttheirexpressionwasstern。
  `ThankGod!’shesaid。`You’renotinpain?’
  `Alittlehere,’hepointedtohisbreast。
  `Thenletmechangeyourbandages。’
  Insilence,stiffeninghisbroadjaws,helookedatherwhileshebandagedhimup。Whenshehadfinishedhesaid:
  `I’mnotdelirious。Pleasemanagethattheremaybenotalkofmyhavingshotmyselfonpurpose。’
  `Noonesaysso。OnlyIhopeyouwon’tshootyourselfbyaccidentanymore,’shesaid,withaquestioningsmile。
  `IthinkIwon’t,butitwouldhavebeenbetter……’
  Andhesmiledgloomily。
  Inspiteofthesewordsandthissmile,whichsofrightenedVaria,whentheinflammationwasoverandhebegantorecover,hefeltthathewascompletelyfreefromonepartofhismisery。Byhisactionhehad,asitwere,washedawaytheshameandhumiliationhehadfeltbefore。HecouldnowthinkcalmlyofAlexeiAlexandrovich。Herecognizedallhismagnanimity,buthedidnotnowfeelhimselfhumiliatedbyit。Besides,hegotbackagainintothebeatentrackofhislife。Hesawthepossibilityoflookingmeninthefaceagainwithoutshame,andhecouldliveinaccordancewithhisownhabits。Onethinghecouldnotpluckoutofhisheart,thoughheneverceasedstrugglingwithit-theregret,amountingtodespair,athavinglostherforever。That,havingexpiatedhissinagainstthehusband,hewasnowboundtorenounceher,andneverinfuturetostandbetweenherwithherrepentanceandherhusband,hehadfirmlydecidedinhisheart;buthecouldnottearoutofhishearthisregretatthelossofherlove;hecouldnoterasefromhismemorythosemomentsofhappinesswhichhehadknownwithherandhadsolittleprizedatthetime,andwhichhauntedhimwithalltheircharm。
  SerpukhovskoyhadplannedhisappointmentatTashkend,andVronskyagreedtotheproposalwithouttheslightesthesitation。Butthenearerthetimeofdeparturecame,thebittererwasthesacrificehewasmakingtowhathethoughthisduty。
  Hiswoundhadhealed,andhewasdrivingaboutmakingpreparationsforhisdepartureforTashkend。
  `Toseeheronce,andthentoburymyself,todie,’hethought,and,ashewaspayingfarewellvisits,heutteredthisthoughttoBetsy。Chargedwiththiscommission,BetsyhadgonetoAnna,andbroughthimbackanegativereply。
  `Somuchthebetter,’thoughtVronsky,whenhereceivedthenews。`ItwasaweaknesswhichwouldhaveshatteredwhatstrengthIhaveleft。’
  NextdayBetsyherselfcametohiminthemorning,andannouncedthatshehadheardthroughOblonsky,asapositivefact,thatAlexeiAlexandrovichhadagreedtoadivorce,andthatthereforeVronskycouldseeAnna。
  WithouteventroublinghimselftoseeBetsyoutofhisflat,forgettingallhisresolutions,withoutaskingwhenhecouldseeherorwhereherhusbandwas,VronskydrovestraighttotheKarenins’。Heranupthestairs,seeingnooneandnothing,andwitharapidstep,almostbreakingintoarun,hewentintoherroom。Andwithoutconsidering,withoutnoticingwhethertherewasanyoneintheroomornot,heflunghisarmsroundher,andbegantocoverwithkissesherface,herhands,herneck。
  Annahadbeenpreparingherselfforthismeeting,hadthoughtwhatshewouldsaytohim,butshedidnotsucceedinsayinganything;hispassionmasteredher。Shetriedtocalmhim,tocalmherself,butitwastoolate。Hisfeelinginfectedher。Herlipstrembledsothatforalongwhileshecouldsaynothing。
  `Yes,youhaveconqueredme,andIamyours,’shesaidatlast,pressinghishandstoherbosom。
  `Soithadtobe,’hesaid。`Solongaswelive,itmustbeso。Iknowitnow。’
  `That’strue,’shesaid,gettingwhiterandwhiter,andembracinghishead。`Still,thereissomethingterribleinitafterallthathashappened。’
  `Itwillallpass,itwillallpass;weshallbesohappy。Ourlove,ifitonlycouldbestronger,willbestrengthenedbytherebeingsomethingterribleinit,’hesaid,liftinghisheadandshowinghisstrongteethinasmile。
  Andshecouldnotbutrespondwithasmile-nottohiswords,buttotheloveinhiseyes。Shetookhishandandstrokedherchilledcheeksandcroppedheadwithit。
  `Idon’tknowyouwiththisshorthair。You’vegrownsopretty。Aboy。Buthowpaleyouare!’
  `Yes,I’mveryweak,’shesaid,smiling。Andherlipsbegantremblingagain。
  `We’llgotoItaly;youwillgetstrong,’hesaid。
  `Canitbepossiblewecouldbelikehusbandandwife,alone,ourownfamily?’shesaid,lookingcloseintohiseyes。
  `Itonlyseemsstrangetomethatitcaneverhavebeenotherwise。’
  `Stivasaysthathehasagreedtoeverything,butIcan’taccepthismagnanimity,’shesaid,lookingdreamilypastVronsky’sface。`Idon’twantadivorce;it’sallthesametomenow。OnlyIdon’tknowwhathewilldecideaboutSeriozha。’
  Hecouldnotconceivehowatthismomentoftheirmeetingshecouldrememberandthinkofherson,ofdivorce。Whatdiditallmatter?
  `Don’tspeakofthat,don’tthinkofit,’hesaid,turningherhandinhis,andtryingtodrawherattentiontohim;butstillshedidnotlookathim。
  `Oh,whydidn’tIdie!Itwouldhavebeenbetter,’shesaid,and,withoutsobbing,tearsfloweddownbothhercheeks;butshetriedtosmile,soasnottowoundhim。
  TodeclinetheflatteringanddangerousappointmentatTashkendwouldhavebeen,Vronskyhadtillthenconsidered,disgracefulandimpossible。Butnow,withoutaninstant’sconsideration,hedeclinedit,andobservingdissatisfactionintheupperquartersatthisstep,heimmediatelyretiredfromthearmy。
  AmonthlaterAlexeiAlexandrovichwasleftalonewithhissoninhishouseatPeterburg,whileAnnahadgoneabroadwithVronsky,withouthavingobtainedadivorce,andhavingabsolutelydeclinedallideaofone。
  PrincessShcherbatskaiaconsideredthatitwasoutofthequestionfortheweddingtotakeplacebeforeLent,justfiveweeksoff,sincenothalfthetrousseaucouldpossiblybereadybythattime。ButshecouldnotbutagreewithLevinthattofixitforafterLentwouldbeputtingitofftoolate,asanoldauntofPrinceShcherbatsky’swasseriouslyillandmightdie,andthenthemourningwoulddelaytheweddingstilllonger。Andtherefore,decidingtodividethetrousseauintotwoparts-alargerandasmallertrousseau-thePrincessconsentedtohavetheweddingbeforeLent。Shedeterminedthatshewouldgetthesmallerpartofthetrousseauallreadynow,andthelargerpartshouldbesentonlater,andshewasmuchvexedwithLevinbecausehewasincapableofgivingheraseriousanswertothequestionwhetherheagreedtothisarrangementornot。Thearrangementwasthemoresuitableas,immediatelyafterthewedding,thenewlymarriedcoupleweretogotothecountry,wherethebelongingsofthelargertrousseauwouldnotbewanted。
  Levinstillcontinuedinthesamedeliriouscondition,inwhichitseemedtohimthatheandhishappinessconstitutedthechiefandsoleaimofallexistence,andthatheneednotnowthinkorcareaboutanything,thateverythingwasbeingdoneandwouldbedoneforhimbyothers。Hehadnotevenplansandaimsforthefuture,heleftitsarrangementtoothers,knowingthateverythingwouldbedelightful。Hisbrother,SergeiIvanovich,andStepanArkadyevich,andthePrincess,guidedhimindoingwhathehadtodo。Allhedidwastoagreeentirelywitheverythingsuggestedtohim。Hisbrotherraisedmoneyforhim,thePrincessadvisedhimtoleaveMoscowafterthewedding。StepanArkadyevichadvisedhimtogoabroad。Heagreedtoeverything。`Dowhatyouchoose,ifitamusesyou,I’mhappy,andmyhappinesscanbenogreaterandnolessbecauseofanythingyoudo,’hethought。WhenhetoldKittyofStepanArkadyevich’sadvicethattheyshouldgoabroad,hewasmuchsurprisedthatshedidnotagreetothis,andhadsomedefiniterequirementsofherowninregardtotheirfuture。SheknewLevinhadworkhelovedinthecountry。Shedidnot,ashesaw,understandthiswork-shedidnotevencaretounderstandit。Butthatdidnotpreventherfromregardingitasamatterofgreatimportance。Andthereforesheknewtheirhomewouldbeinthecountry,andshewantedtogonotabroadwhereshewasnotgoingtolive,buttotheplacewheretheirhomewouldbe。ThisdefinitelyexpressedpurposeastonishedLevin。Butsincehedidnotcareeitherway,heimmediatelyaskedStepanArkadyevich,asthoughitwerehisduty,togodowntothecountryandtoarrangeeverythingtheretothebestofhisability,withthattasteofwhichhehadsomuch。
  `But,Isay,’StepanArkadyevichsaidtohimonedayafterhehadcomebackfromthecountry,wherehehadgoteverythingreadyfortheyoungpeople’sarrival,`haveyouacertificateofhavingbeenatconfession?’
  `No。Butwhatofit?’
  `Youcan’tbemarriedwithoutit。’
  `My,my,my!’criedLevin。`Why,Ibelieveit’snineyearssinceI’vetakenthesacrament!Ineverthoughtofit。’
  `You’reaprettyfellow!’saidStepanArkadyevichlaughing,`andyoucallmeaNihilist!Butthiswon’tdo,youknow。Youmusttakethesacrament。’
  `When?Therearefourdaysleftnow。’
  StepanArkadyevicharrangedthisalso,andLevinhadtopreparehimselfforthesacrament。ToLevin,astoanyunbelieverwhorespectsthebeliefsofothers,itwasexceedinglydisagreeabletobepresentatandtotakepartinchurchceremonies。Atthismoment,inhispresentsoftenedstateoffeeling,sensitivetoeverything,thisinevitableactofhypocrisywasnotmerelypainfultoLevin,itseemedtohimutterlyimpossible。Now,intheheydayofhishighestglory,hisfullestflower,hewouldhavetobealiarorablasphemer。Hefeltincapableofbeingeither。ButthoughherepeatedlypliedStepanArkadyevichwithquestionsastothepossibilityofobtainingacertificatewithoutactuallycommunicating,StepanArkadyevichmaintainedthatitwasoutofthequestion。
  `Besides,whatisittoyou-twodays?Andhe’sanawfullyfine,cleveroldfellow。He’llpullthetoothoutforyousogentlyyouwon’tnoticeit。’
  Standingatthefirstmass,Levinattemptedtoreviveinhimselfhisyouthfulrecollectionsoftheintensereligiousemotionhehadpassedthroughbetweentheagesofsixteenandseventeen。Buthewasatonceconvincedthatitwasutterlyimpossibletohim。Heattemptedtolookatitallasanemptycustom,havingnosortofmeaning,likethecustomofpayingcalls;buthefeltthathecouldnotdothateither。Levinfoundhimself,likethemajorityofhiscontemporaries,inthevaguestpositioninregardtoreligion。Believehecouldnot,andatthesametimehehadnofirmconvictionthatitwasallwrong。Andconsequently,notbeingabletobelieveinthesignificanceofwhathewasdoing,nortoregarditwithindifferenceasanemptyformality,duringthewholeperiodofpreparingforthesacramenthewasconsciousofafeelingofdiscomfortandshameatdoingwhathedidnothimselfunderstand,andwhat,asaninnervoicetoldhim,wasthereforefalseandwrong。
  Duringtheservicehewouldfirstlistentotheprayers,tryingtoattachsomemeaningtothemnotdiscordantwithhisownviews;thenfeelingthathecouldnotunderstandandmustcondemnthem,hetriednottolistentothem,buttoattendtothethoughts,observations,andmemorieswhichfloatedthroughhisbrainwithextremevividnessduringthisidletimeofstandinginchurch。
  Hehadstoodthroughthemass,theeveningservice,andthemidnightservice,andthenextdayhegotupearlierthanusual,and,withouthavingtea,wentateighto’clockinthemorningtothechurchforthemorningserviceandtheconfession。
  Therewasnooneinchurchbutabeggarsoldier,twooldwomen,andthechurchmen。Ayoungdeacon,whoselongbackshowedintwodistincthalvesthroughhisthinundercassock,methim,and,atoncegoingtoalittletableatthewall,readtheexhortations。Duringthereading,especiallyatthefrequentandrapidrepetitionofthesamewords,`Lord,havemercyonus!’whichsoundedlike`mercynuslor!’Levinfeltthathisthoughtwasshutandsealedup,andthatitmustnotbetouchedorstirrednow,orelseconfusionwouldbetheresult;andsostandingbehindthedeaconhewentonthinkingofhisownaffairs,neitherlisteningnorexaminingwhatwassaid。`It’swonderfulwhatexpressionthereisinherhand,’hethought,rememberinghowtheyhadbeensittingthedaybeforeatacornertable。Theyhadnothingtotalkabout,aswasalmostalwaysthecaseatthistime,andlayingherhandonthetableshekeptopeningandshuttingit,andlaughedherselfasshewatchedheraction。Herememberedhowhehadkissedherhandandthenhadexaminedthelinesonthepinkpalm。`Another``mercynuslor!’’thoughtLevin,crossinghimself,bowing,andlookingatthesupplespringofthedeacon’sbackbowingbeforehim。`Shetookmyhandthenandexaminedthelines。``You’vegotasplendidhand,’shesaid。’Andhelookedathisownhandandtheshorthandofthedeacon。`Yes,nowitwillsoonbeover,’hethought。`No,itseemstobestartingupagain,’hethought,listeningtotheprayers。`No,it’sjustending:thereheisbowingdowntotheground。That’salwaysattheend。’
  Thedeacon’shandinaplushcuffunobtrusivelyacceptedathree-roublenote,andthedeaconsaidhewouldputLevin’snamedownintheregister,and,hisnewbootscreakingjauntilyovertheflagstonesoftheemptychurch,hewenttothealtar。AmomentlaterhepeepedoutthenceandbeckonedtoLevin。Thought,tillthenlockedup,begantostirinLevin’shead,buthemadehastetodriveitaway。`Itwillcomerightsomehow,’hethought,andwenttowardtheambo。Hewentupthesteps,andturningtotheright,sawthepriest。Thepriest,alittleancientwithascantygrizzledbeardandweary,good-naturedeyes,wasstandingatthelectern,turningoverthepagesofamissal。WithaslightbowtoLevinhebeganimmediatelyreadingprayersinanaccustomedvoice。Whenhehadfinishedthemheboweddowntothegroundandturned,facingLevin。
  `Christispresenthereunseen,receivingyourconfession,’hesaid,pointingtothecrucifix。`DoyoubelieveinallthedoctrinesoftheHolyApostolicChurch?’thepriestwenton,turninghiseyesawayfromLevin’sfaceandfoldinghishandsunderhisstole。
  `Ihavedoubted-Idoubteverything,’saidLevininavoicethatjarredonhimself,andheceasedspeaking。
  Thepriestwaitedafewsecondstoseeifhewouldnotsaymore,andclosinghiseyeshesaidquickly,withabroad,Vladimirskyaccent:
  `Doubtisnaturaltotheweaknessofmankind,butwemustpraythatGodinHismercywillstrengthenus。Whatareyourspecialsins?’headded,withouttheslightestinterval,asthoughanxiousnottowastetime。
  `Mychiefsinisdoubt。Ihavedoubtsofeverything,andforthemostpartIamindoubt。’
  `Doubtisnaturaltotheweaknessofmankind,’thepriestrepeatedthesamewords。`Whatdoyoudoubtaboutprincipally?’
  `Idoubteverything。IsometimesevenhavedoubtsoftheexistenceofGod,’Levincouldnothelpsaying,andhewashorrifiedattheimproprietyofwhathewassaying。ButLevin’swordsdidnot,itseemed,makemuchimpressiononthepriest。
  `WhatsortofdoubtcantherebeoftheexistenceofGod?’hesaidhurriedly,withabarelyperceptiblesmile。
  Levindidnotspeak。
  `WhatdoubtcanyouhaveoftheCreatorwhenyoubeholdHiscreation?’thepriestwentonintherapidcustomaryrecitative。`Whohasdeckedtheheavenlyfirmamentwithitslights?Whohasclothedtheearthinitsbeauty?HowexplainitwithouttheCreator?’hesaid,lookinginquiringlyatLevin。
  Levinfeltthatitwouldbeimpropertoenteruponametaphysicaldiscussionwiththepriest,andsohesaidinreplymerelywhatwasadirectanswertothequestion。
  `Idon’tknow,’hesaid。
  `Youdon’tknow!ThenhowcanyoudoubtthatGodcreatedall?’thepriestsaid,withgood-humoredperplexity。
  `Idon’tunderstanditatall,’saidLevin,blushing,andfeelingthathiswordswerestupid,andthattheycouldnotbeanythingbutstupidinsuchaposition。
  `PraytoGodandbeseechHim。Eventheholyfathershaddoubts,andprayedtoGodtostrengthentheirfaith。Thedevilhasgreatpower,andwemustresisthim。PraytoGod,beseechHim。PraytoGod,’herepeatedhurriedly。
  Thepriestpausedforsometime,asthoughmeditating。
  `You,Ihear,areabouttomarrythedaughterofmyparishionerandsoninthespirit,PrinceShcherbatsky?’heresumed,withasmile。`Anexcellentyounglady。’
  `Yes,’answeredLevin,blushingforthepriest。`Whatdoeshewanttoaskmeaboutthisatconfessionfor?’hethought。
  And,asthoughansweringhisthought,thepriestsaidtohim:
  `Youareabouttoenterintoholymatrimony,andGodmayblessyouwithoffspring。Areyou?-Well,whatsortofbringing-upcanyougiveyourbabesifyoudonotovercomethetemptationofthedevil,enticingyoutoinfidelity?’hesaid,withgentlereproachfulness。`Ifyouloveyourchildasagoodfather,youwillnotdesireonlywealth,luxury,honorforyourinfant;youwillbeanxiousforhissalvation,hisspiritualenlightenmentwiththelightoftruth。Eh?Whatanswerwillyoumakehimwhentheinnocentbabeasksyou:``Papa!Whomadeallthatenchantsmeinthisworld-theearth,thewaters,thesun,theflowers,thegrass?’Canyousaytohim:``Idon’tknow?’Youcannotbutknow,sincetheLordGodinHisinfinitemercyhasrevealedittous。Oryourchildwillaskyou:``Whatawaitsmeinthelifebeyondthegrave?’Whatwillyousaytohimwhenyouknownothing?Howwillyouanswerhim?Willyouleavehimtotheallurementsoftheworldandthedevil?That’snotright,’hesaid,andhestopped,puttinghisheadononesideandlookingatLevinwithhiskindly,gentleeyes。
  Levinmadenoanswerthistime,notbecausehedidnotwanttoenteruponadiscussionwiththepriest,butbecausenoonehadeveraskedhimsuchquestions-andwhenhisbabesdidaskhimthosequestions,itwouldbetimeenoughtothinkaboutansweringthem。
  `Youareenteringuponatimeoflife,’pursuedthepriest,`whenyoumustchooseyourpathandkeeptoit。PraytoGodthatHemayinHismercyaidyouandhavemercyonyou!’heconcluded。`OurLordandGod,JesusChrist,intheabundanceandrichesofHisloving-kindness,forgivesthischild……’and,finishingtheprayerofabsolution,thepriestblessedhimanddismissedhim。
  Ongettinghomethatday,Levinhadadelightfulsenseofreliefattheawkwardpositionbeingoverandhavingbeengotthroughwithouthishavingtotellalie。Apartfromthis,thereremainedavaguememorythatwhatthekind,fineoldfellowhadsaidhadnotbeenatallasstupidashehadfanciedatfirst,andthattherewassomethinginitthatmustbeclearedup。
  `Ofcourse,notnow,’thoughtLevin,`butatsomelaterday。’Levinfeltmorethanevernowthattherewassomethingnotclearandnotcleaninhissoul,andthat,inregardtoreligion,hewasinthesamepositionwhichheperceivedsoclearlyanddislikedinothers,andforwhichheblamedhisfriendSviiazhsky。
  LevinspentthateveningwithhisbetrothedatDolly’s,andwasinveryhighspirits。ToexplaintoStepanArkadyevichthestateofexcitementinwhichhefoundhimself,hesaidthathewashappy,likeadogbeingtrainedtojumpthroughahoop,who,havingatlastcaughttheidea,anddonewhatwasrequiredofhim,whinesandwagsitstail,andjumpsuptothetableandthewindowsillsinitsdelight。
  Onthedayofthewedding,accordingtotheRussiancustomthePrincessandDaryaAlexandrovnainsistedonstrictlykeepingallthecustoms,Levindidnotseehisbetrothed,anddinedathishotelwiththreebachelorfriends,casuallybroughttogetherathisrooms。ThesewereSergeiIvanovich,Katavassov,auniversityfriend,nowprofessorofnaturalscience,whomLevinhadmetinthestreetandinsistedontakinghomewithhim,andChirikov,hisbestman,aMoscowjusticeofthepeace,Levin’scompanioninhisbearhunts。Thedinnerwasaverymerryone:SergeiIvanovichwasinhishappiestmood,andwasmuchamusedbyKatavassov’soriginality。Katavassov,feelinghisoriginalitywasappreciatedandunderstood,madethemostofit。Chirikovalwaysgavealivelyandgood-humoredsupporttoconversationofanysort。
  `See,now,’saidKatavassov,drawlinghiswordsfromahabitacquiredinthelectureroom,`whatacapablefellowwasourfriendKonstantinDmitrievich。I’mspeakingofabsentcompany-hedoesn’texistforusnow。Atthetimehelefttheuniversityhewasfondofscience,tookaninterestinhumanity;nowone-halfofhisabilitiesisdevotedtodeceivinghimself,andtheothertojustifyingthedeceit。’
  `AmoredeterminedenemyofmatrimonythanyouIneversaw,’saidSergeiIvanovich。
  `Oh,no,I’mnotanenemyofmatrimony。I’minfavorofdivisionoflabor。Peoplewhocandonothingelseoughttorearpeople,whiletherestworkfortheirhappinessandenlightenment。That’showIlookatit。Tomuddleuptwotradestherearetoomanyamateurs;I’mnotoneoftheirnumber。’
  `HowhappyIshallbewhenIhearthatyou’reinlove!’saidLevin。`Pleaseinvitemetothewedding。’
  `I’minlovenow。’
  `Yes,withacuttlefish!Youknow,’Levinturnedtohisbrother,`MikhailSemionovichiswritingaworkonthedigestiveorgansofthe……’
  `Now,makeamuddleofit!Itdoesn’tmatterwhatabout。Andthefactis,Icertainlydolovecuttlefish。’
  `Butthat’snohindrancetoyourlovingyourwife。’
  `Thecuttlefishisnohindrance。Thewifeisthehindrance。’
  `Whyso?’
  `Oh,you’llsee!Youcareaboutfarming,hunting-well,you’llsee!……’
  `Arkhipwasheretoday;hesaidtherewerenoendofelkinPrudnoe,andtwobears,’saidChirikov。
  `Well,youmustgoandgetthemwithoutme。’
  `Ah,that’sthetruth,’saidSergeiIvanovich。`Andyoumaysaygood-bytobearhuntingforthefuture-yourwifewon’tallowit!’
  Levinsmiled。Thepictureofhiswifenotlettinghimgowassopleasantthathewasreadytorenounceforeverthedelightsoflookinguponbears。
  `Still,it’sapitytheyshouldgetthosetwobearswithoutyou。DoyourememberlasttimeatKhapilovo?Andnowitwouldbeadelightfulhunt!’saidChirikov。
  Levinhadnotthehearttodisillusionhimofthenotionthattherecouldbesomethingdelightfulapartfromher,andsosaidnothing。
  `There’ssomesenseinthiscustomofsayinggood-bytobachelorlife,’saidSergeiIvanovich。`Howeverhappyyoumaybe,youmustregretyourfreedom。’
  `Andconfessthereisafeelingthatyouwanttojumpoutofthewindow,likeGogol’sbridegroom?’
  `Ofcoursethereis,buthewon’tconfess,’saidKatavassov,andhebrokeintoloudlaughter。
  `Oh,well,thewindow’sopen……Let’sstartoffthisinstanttoTver!There’sabigshe-bear;onecangorightuptothelair。Seriously,let’sgobythefiveo’clock!Andhereletthemdowhattheylike,’saidChirikovsmiling。
  `Well,now,onmyhonor,’saidLevinsmiling,`Ican’tfindinmyheartthatfeelingofregretformyfreedom。’
  `Yes,there’ssuchachaosinyourheartjustnowthatyoucan’tfindanythingthere,’saidKatavassov。`Waitabit,whenyousetittorightsalittle,you’llfindit!’
  `No;ifso,Ishouldhavefeltalittle,apartfrommyfeeling’hecouldnotsay`love’beforethem`andhappiness,acertainregretatlosingmyfreedom……Onthecontrary,Iamgladattheverylossofmyfreedom。’
  `Awful!It’sahopelesscase!’saidKatavassov。`Well,let’sdrinktohisrecovery,orwishthatahundredthpartofhisdreamsmayberealized-andthatwouldbehappinesssuchasneverhasbeenseenonearth!’
  Soonafterdinnertheguestswentawaytodressintimeforthewedding。
  Whenhewasleftalone,andrecalledtheconversationofthesebachelorfriends,Levinaskedhimself:Hadheinhisheartthatregretforhisfreedomofwhichtheyhadspoken?Hesmiledatthequestion。`Freedom!Whatisfreedomfor?Happinessisonlyinlovingandwishingherwishes,thinkingherthoughts;thatistosay,notfreedomatall-that’shappiness!’
  `ButdoIknowherthoughts,herwishes,herfeelings?’somevoicesuddenlywhisperedtohim。Thesmilediedawayfromhisface,andhegrewthoughtful。Andsuddenlyastrangefeelingcameuponhim。Therecameoverhimadreadanddoubt-doubtofeverything。
  `Whatifshedoesnotloveme?Whatifshe’smarryingmesimplytobemarried?Whatifshedoesn’tseeherselfwhatshe’sdoing?’heaskedhimself。`Shemaycometohersenses,andonlywhensheisbeingmarriedrealizethatshedoesnotandcannotloveme。’Andstrange,mostevilthoughtsofherbegantocometohim。HewasjealousofVronsky,ashehadbeenayearago,asthoughtheeveninghehadseenherwithVronskyhadbeenyesterday。Hesuspectedshehadnottoldhimeverything。
  Hejumpedupquickly。`No,thiscan’tgoon!’hesaidtohimselfindespair。`I’llgotoher;I’llaskher;I’llsayforthelasttime:Wearefree,andhadn’twebetterstayso?Anything’sbetterthanendlessmisery,disgrace,unfaithfulness!’Withdespairinhisheartandbitterangeragainstallmen,againsthimself,againsther,hewentoutofthehotelanddrovetoherhouse。
  Hefoundherinoneoftherearrooms。Shewassittingonachestandmakingsomearrangementswithhermaid,sortingoverheapsofdressesofdifferentcolors,spreadonthebacksofchairsandonthefloor。
  `Ah!’shecried,seeinghim,andbeamingwithdelight。`Kostia!KonstantinDmitrievich!’Theselatterdayssheusedthesenamesalmostalternately。`Ididn’texpectyou!I’mgoingthroughmygirlishwardrobetoseewhat’sforwhom……’
  `Oh!That’sverylovely!’hesaidgloomily,lookingatthemaid。
  `Youcango,Duniasha,I’llcallyoupresently,’saidKitty。`Kostia,what’sthematter?’sheasked,definitelyadoptingthisfamiliarnameassoonasthemaidhadgoneout。Shenoticedhisstrangeface,agitatedandgloomy,andapaniccameoverher。
  `Kitty!I’mintorture。Ican’tbeintorturealone,’hesaidwithdespairinhisvoice,standingbeforeherandlookingimploringlyintohereyes。Hesawalreadyfromherloving,truthfulface,thatnothingcouldcomeofwhathehadmeanttosay,butyethewantedhertoreassurehimherself。`I’vecometosaythatthere’sstilltime。Thiscanallbestoppedandsetright。’
  `What?Idon’tunderstand。Whatisthematter?’
  `WhatIhavesaidathousandtimesover,andcan’thelpthinking……thatI’mnotworthyofyou。Youcouldn’tconsenttomarryme。Thinkalittle。You’vemadeamistake。Thinkitoverthoroughly。Youcan’tloveme……if……Bettersayso,’hesaid,withoutlookingather。`Ishallbewretched。Letpeoplesaywhattheylike;anything’sbetterthanmisery……Farbetternowwhilethere’sstilltime……’
  `Idon’tunderstand,’sheanswered,panic-stricken;`youmeanyouwanttogiveitup……thatyoudon’twantit?’
  `Yes-ifyoudon’tloveme。’
  `You’reoutofyourmind!’shecried,turningcrimsonwithvexation。Buthisfacewassopiteousthatsherestrainedhervexation,andflingingsomeclothesoffanarmchair,shesatdownbesidehim。`Whatareyouthinking?Tellmeall。’
  `Iamthinkingyoucan’tloveme。Whatcanyoulovemefor?’
  `MyGod!WhatcanIdo?……’shesaid,andburstintotears。
  `Oh!WhathaveIdone?’hecried,andkneelingbeforeher,hefelltokissingherhands。
  WhentheoldPrincesscameintotheroomfiveminuteslater,shefoundthemcompletelyreconciled。Kittyhadnotsimplyassuredhimthatshelovedhim,buthadgonesofar-inanswertohisquestion,whatshelovedhimfor-astoexplainwhatfor。Shetoldhimthatshelovedhimbecausesheunderstoodhimcompletely,becausesheknewwhathewouldlike,andbecauseeverythinghelikedwasgood。Andthisseemedtohimperfectlyclear。WhenthePrincesscametothem,theyweresittingsidebysideonthechest,sortingthedressesanddisputingoverKitty’swantingtogiveDuniashathebrowndressshehadbeenwearingwhenLevinproposedtoher,whileheinsistedthatthatdressmustneverbegivenaway,butthatDuniashashouldhavetheblueone。
  `Howisityoudon’tsee?She’sabrunette,anditwon’tsuither……I’veworkeditallout。’
  Hearingwhyhehadcome,thePrincesswashalf-humorously,half-seriouslyangrywithhim,andsenthimhometodressandnottohinderKitty’shairdressing,asCharlesthecoiffeurwasjustcoming。
  `Asitis,she’sbeeneatingnothinglatelyandislosingherlooks,andthenyoumustcomeandupsetherwithyournonsense,’shesaidtohim。`Getalongwithyou,mydear!’
  Levin,guiltyandshamefaced,butpacified,wentbacktohishotel。Hisbrother,DaryaAlexandrovna,andStepanArkadyevich,allinfulldress,werewaitingforhimtoblesshimwithanicon。Therewasnotimetolose。DaryaAlexandrovnahadtodrivehomeagaintofetchhercurledandpomadedson,whowastocarrytheiconinthebride’scarriage。Thenacarriagehadtobesentforthebestman,andanother,thatwouldtakeSergeiIvanovichaway,wouldhavetobesentback……Altogethertherewereagreatmanymostcomplicatedmatterstobeconsideredandarranged。Onethingwasunmistakable-thattheremustbenodelay,asitwasalreadyhalf-pastsix。
  Nothingspecialhappenedattheceremonyofbenedictionwiththeicon。StepanArkadyevichstoodinacomicallysolemnposebesidehiswife,tooktheicon,and,tellingLevintobowdowntotheground,heblessedhimwithhiskindly,ironicalsmile,andkissedhimthreetimes;DaryaAlexandrovnadidthesame,andimmediatelywasinahurrytogetoff,andagainplungedintotheintricatequestionofthedueorderofthevariouscarriages。
  `Come,I’lltellyouhowwe’llmanage:youdriveinourcarriagetofetchhim,andSergeiIvanovich,ifhe’llbesogood,willdrivethereandthensendhiscarriage。’
  `Ofcourse;Ishallbedelighted。’
  `We’llcomeondirectlywithhim。Areyourthingssentoff?’askedStepanArkadyevich。
  `Yes,’answeredLevin,andhetoldKouzmatolayouthisclothesforhimtodress。
  Acrowdofpeople,principallywomen,wasthrongingroundthechurchlightedupforthewedding。Thosewhohadnotsucceededingettingintothemainentrancewerecrowdingaboutthewindows,pushing,wrangling,andpeepingthroughthegratings。
  Morethantwentycarriageshadalreadybeendrawnupinranksalongthestreetbythepolice。Apoliceofficer,regardlessofthefrost,stoodattheentrance,gorgeousinhisuniform。Morecarriageswerecontinuallydrivingup,andladieswearingflowersandcarryingtheirtrains,andmentakingofftheirkepisorblackhats,keptwalkingintothechurch。Insidethechurchbothlusterswerealreadylighted,andallthecandlesbeforetheicons。Thegoldennimbusontheredgroundoftheikonostasis,andthegiltreliefontheiconsandthesilverofthelustersandcandlesticks,andthefloor-flags,andtherugs,andthebannersaboveinthechoir,andthestepsoftheambo,andtheoldblackenedbooks,andthecassocksandsurplices-allwerefloodedwithlight。Ontherightsideofthewarmchurch,inthecrowdofeveningdressesandwhiteties,ofuniforms,andofsilk,velvet,satin,hairandflowers,ofbareshouldersandarmsandlonggloves,therewasdiscreetbutlivelyconversationthatechoedstrangelyinthehighcupola。Everytimetherewasheardthecreakoftheopeneddoortheconversationinthecrowddiedaway,andeverybodylookedroundexpectingtoseethebrideandbridegroomcomein。Butthedoorhadopenedmorethantentimes,andeachtimeitwaseitherabelatedguestorguests,whojoinedthecircleoftheinvitedontheright,orsomespectator,whohadeludedorsoftenedthepoliceofficer,andwenttojointhecrowdofoutsidersontheleft。Boththeguestsandtheoutsidepublichadbynowpassedthroughallthephasesofanticipation。
  Atfirsttheyimaginedthatthebrideandbridegroomwouldarriveimmediately,andattachednoimportanceatalltotheirbeinglate。Thentheybegantolookmoreandmoreoftentowardthedoor,andtotalkofwhetheranythingcouldhavehappened。Thenthelongdelaybegantobepositivelydiscomforting,andrelationsandgueststriedtolookasiftheywerenotthinkingofthebridegroomatall,butwereengrossedinconversation。
  Theprotodeacon,asthoughtoremindthemofthevalueofhistime,coughedimpatiently,makingthewindowpanesrattleintheirframes。Inthechoirtheboredchoristerscouldbeheardtryingtheirvoicesandblowingtheirnoses。Thepriestwascontinuallysendingfirstthechurchclerkandthenthedeacontofindoutwhetherthebridegroomhadnotcome,moreandmoreoftenhewenthimself,inalilacvestmentandanembroideredsash,tothesidedoor,expectingtoseethebridegroom。Atlastoneoftheladies,glancingatherwatch,said,`Itreallyisstrange,though!’andalltheguestsbecameuneasyandbeganloudlyexpressingtheirwonderanddissatisfaction。Oneofthebridegroom’sbestmenwenttofindoutwhathadhappened。Kittymeanwhilehadlongagobeenquiteready,and,inherwhitedressandlongveilandwreathoforangeblossoms,wasstandinginthedrawingroomoftheShcherbatskys’housewithhersister,MadameLvova,whowasherbridalmother。Shewaslookingoutofthewindow,andhadbeenforoverhalfanhouranxiouslyexpectingtohearfromherbestmanthatherbridegroomwasatthechurch。
  Levinmeanwhile,inhistrousers,butwithouthiscoatandwaistcoat,waswalkingtoandfroinhisroomatthehotel,continuallyputtinghisheadoutofdoorandlookingupanddownthecorridor。Butinthecorridortherewasnosignofthepersonhewaslookingforandhecamebackindespair,andwavinghishandsaddressedStepanArkadyevich,whowassmokingserenely。
  `Waseveramaninsuchafearfulfool’sposition?’hesaid。
  `Yes,itisstupid,’StepanArkadyevichassented,smilingsoothingly。`Butdon’tworry,it’llbebroughtdirectly。’
  `No,whatistobedone!’saidLevin,withsmotheredfury。`Andthesefoolopenwaistcoats!Outofthequestion!’hesaid,lookingatthecrumpledfrontofhisshirt。`Andwhatifthethingshavebeentakenontotherailwaystation!’heroaredindesperation。
  `Thenyoumustputonmine。’
  `Ioughttohavedonesolongago,ifatall。’
  `It’snotwelltolookridiculous……Waitabit!Itwillcomeround。’
  ThepointwasthatwhenLevinaskedforhiseveningsuit,Kouzma,hisoldservant,hadbroughthimthecoat,waistcoat,andeverythingthatwaswanted。
  `Buttheshirt!’criedLevin。
  `You’vegotashirton,’Kouzmaanswered,withaplacidsmile。
  Kouzmahadnotthoughtofleavingoutacleanshirt,andonreceivinginstructionstopackupeverythingandsenditroundtotheShcherbatskys’house,fromwhichtheyoungpeopleweretosetoutthesameevening,hehaddoneso,packingeverythingbutthedresssuit。Theshirtwornsincethemorningwascrumpledandoutofthequestionwiththefashionableopenwaistcoat。ItwasalongwaytosendtotheShcherbatskys’。Theysentouttobuyashirt。Theservantcameback;everythingwasshutup-itwasSunday。TheysenttoStepanArkadyevich’sandbroughtashirt-itwasimpossiblywideandshort。TheysentfinallytotheShcherbatskys’tounpackthethings。Thebridegroomwasexpectedatthechurchwhilehewaspacingupanddownhisroomlikeawildbeastinacage,peepingoutintothecorridor,andwithhorroranddespairrecallingwhatabsurdthingshehadsaidtoKittyandwhatshemightbethinkingnow。
  AtlasttheguiltyKouzmaflewpantingintotheroomwiththeshirt。
  `Onlyjustintime。Theywerejustliftingitintothevan,’saidKouzma。
  ThreeminuteslaterLevinranfullspeedintothecorridor,withoutlookingathiswatchforfearofaggravatinghissufferings。
  `Youwon’thelpmatterslikethat,’saidStepanArkadyevichwithasmile,hurryingwithmoredeliberationafterhim。`Itwillcomeround,itwillcomeround-Itellyou。’
  `They’vecome!’`Hereheis!’`Whichone?’`Ratheryoung,eh?’`Why,mydearsoul,shelooksmoredeadthanalive!’werethecommentsinthecrowd,whenLevin,meetinghisbrideintheentrance,walkedwithherintothechurch。
  StepanArkadyevichtoldhiswifethecauseofthedelay,andtheguestswerewhisperingitwithsmilestooneanother。Levinsawnothingandnoone;hedidnottakehiseyesoffhisbride。
  Everyonesaidshehadlostherlooksdreadfullyoflate,andwasnotnearlyasprettyonherweddingdayasusual;butLevindidnotthinkso。Helookedatherhairdoneuphigh,withthelongwhiteveilandwhiteflowersandthehigh,scallopeddeMedicicollar,thatinsuchamaidenlyfashionhidherlongneckatthesidesandonlyshoweditinfront,andherstrikinglyslenderfigure,anditseemedtohimthatshelookedbetterthanever-notbecausetheseflowers,thisveil,thisgownfromParisaddedanythingtoherbeauty;butbecause,inspiteoftheelaboratesumptuousnessofherattire,theexpressionofhersweetface,ofhereyes,ofherlipswasstillherowncharacteristicexpressionofguilelesstruthfulness。
  `Iwasbeginningtothinkyoumeanttorunaway,’shesaid,andsmiledtohim。
  WhathappenedtomeissostupidI’mashamedtospeakofit!’hesaid,reddening,andhewasobligedtoturntoSergeiIvanovich,whocameuptohim。
  `Thisisaprettystoryofyoursabouttheshirt!’saidSergeiIvanovich,shakinghisheadandsmiling。
  `Yes,yes!’answeredLevin,withoutanideaofwhattheyweretalkingabout。
  `Now,Kostia,youhavetodecide,’saidStepanArkadyevichwithanairofmockdismay,`aweightyquestion。Youareatthismomentjustinthehumortoappreciateallitsgravity。Theyaskme,aretheytolightthecandlesthathavebeenlightedbeforeorcandlesthathaveneverbeenlighted?It’samatteroftenroubles,’headded,relaxinghislipsintoasmile。`Ihavedecided,butIwasafraidyoumightnotagree。’
  Levinsawitwasajoke,buthecouldnotsmile。
  `Well,how’sittobethen-unusedorusedcandles?-thatisthequestion。’
  `Yes,yes,unusedones。’
  `Oh,I’mveryglad。Thequestion’sdecided!’saidStepanArkadyevich,smiling。`Howsillymenbecome,though,inthissituation,’hesaidtoChirikov,whenLevin,afterlookingabsentlyathim,hadmovedbacktohisbride。
  `Kitty,mindyou’rethefirsttosteponthecarpet,’saidCountessNordstone,comingup。`You’reafineperson!’shesaidtoLevin。
  `Aren’tyoufrightened,eh?’saidMaryaDmitrievna,anoldaunt。
  `Areyoucold?You’repale。Stopaminute,stoopdown,’saidKitty’ssister,MadameLvova,andwithherplump,prettyhandsshesmilinglysetstraighttheflowersonherhead。
  Dollycameup,triedtosaysomething,butcouldnotspeak,cried,andthenlaughednaturally。
  KittylookedatallofthemwiththesameabsenteyesasLevin。
  Meanwhiletheofficiatingclergyhadgotintotheirvestments,andthepriestanddeaconcameouttothelectern,whichstoodintheporchofthechurch。ThepriestturnedtoLevinsayingsomething。Levindidnothearwhatthepriestsaid。
  `Takethebride’shandandleadherup,’thebestmansaidtoLevin。
  ItwasalongwhilebeforeLevincouldmakeoutwhatwasexpectedofhim。Foralongtimetheytriedtosethimrightandmadehimbeginagain-becausehekepttakingKittybythewrongarmorwiththewrongarm-tillheunderstoodatlastthatwhathehadtodowas,withoutchanginghisposition,totakeherrighthandinhisrighthand。Whenatlasthehadtakenthebride’shandinthecorrectway,thepriestwalkedafewpacesinfrontofthemandstoppedatthelectern。Thecrowdoffriendsandrelationsmovedafterthem,withabuzzoftalkandarustleoftrains。Someonestoopeddownandstraightenedoutthebride’strain。Thechurchbecamesostillthatthedropsofwaxcouldbeheardfallingfromthecandles。
  Thelittleoldpriestinhiscalotte,withhislongsilvery-graylocksofhairpartedbehindhisears,wasfumblingwithsomethingatthelectern,puttingouthislittleoldhandsfromundertheheavysilvervestmentwiththegoldcrossonthebackofit。
  StepanArkadyevichapproachedhimcautiously,whisperedsomething,and,givingawinkatLevin,walkedbackagain。
  Thepriestlightedtwocandles,wreathedwithflowers,andholdingthemsidewayssothatthewaxdroppedslowlyfromthemheturned,facingthebridalpair。ThepriestwasthesameoldmanwhohadconfessedLevin。Helookedwithwearyandmelancholyeyesatthebrideandbridegroom,sighed,and,puttinghisrighthandoutfromunderhisvestment,blessedthebridegroomwithit,andalso,withashadeofsolicitoustenderness,laidhiscrossedfingersonthebowedheadofKitty。Thenhegavethemthecandles,and,takingthecenser,movedslowlyawayfromthem。
  `Canitbetrue?’thoughtLevin,andhelookedroundathisbride。Lookingdownatherhesawherfaceinprofile,andfromthescarcelyperceptiblequiverofherlipsandeyelashesheknewshewasawareofhiseyesuponher。Shedidnotlookround,butthehighscallopedcollar,thatreachedherlittlepinkear,trembledfaintly。Hesawthatasighwasheldbackinherthroat,andthelittlehandinthelonggloveshookasitheldthecandle。
  Allthefussoftheshirt,ofbeinglate,allthetalkoffriendsandrelations,theirannoyance,hisludicrousposition-allsuddenlypassedawayandhewasfilledwithjoyanddread。
  Thehandsome,statelyprotodeaconwearingasilverrobe,andhiscurlylocksstandingoutateachsideofhishead,steppedsmartlyforward,andliftinghisstoleontwofingers,stoodoppositethepriest。
  `BlessedbethenameoftheLord,’thesolemnsyllablesrangoutslowlyoneafteranother,settingtheairquiveringwithwavesofsound。
  `BlessedisthenameofourGod,fromthebeginning,asnow,andforeverandaye,’thelittleoldpriestansweredinasubmissive,pipingvoice,stillfingeringsomethingatthelectern。Andthefullchorusoftheunseenchoirroseup,fillingthewholechurch,fromthewindowstothevaultedroof,withbroadwavesofmelody。Itgrewstronger,restedforaninstant,andslowlydiedaway。
  Theyprayed,astheyalwaysdo,forpeacefromonhighandforsalvation,fortheHolySynod,andfortheCzar;theyprayed,too,fortheservantsofGod,KonstantinandEkaterina,nowplightingtheirtroth。
  `Vouchsafetothemlovemadeperfect,peace,andhelp,OLord,webeseechThee,’thewholechurchseemedtobreathewiththevoiceoftheprotodeacon。
  Levinheardthewords,andtheyimpressedhim。`Howdidtheyguessthatitishelp,justhelpthatonewants?’hethought,recallingallhisfearsanddoubtsoflate。`WhatdoIknow?whatcanIdointhisfearfulbusiness,’hethought,`withouthelp?Yes,itishelpIwantnow。’
  Whenthedeaconhadfinishedtheliturgicalprayer,thepriestturnedtothebridalpairwithhisbook:`EternalGod,whojoinesttogetherinlovethemthatwereseparate,’hereadinagentle,pipingvoice,`whohastordainedtheunionofholywedlockthatcannotbesetasunder,ThouwhodidstblessIsaacandRebeccaandtheirdescendants,accordingtoThyHolyCovenant,blessThouThyservants,KonstantinandEkaterina,leadingtheminthepathofallgoodworks。ForgraciousandmercifulartThou,ourLord,andglorybetoThee,theFather,theSon,andtheHolyGhost,nowandforeverandaye。’-`Amen!’theunseenchoirsentrollingagainthroughtheair。
  `’Joinesttogetherinlovethemthatwereseparate。’Whatdeepmeaninginthosewords,andhowtheycorrespondwithwhatonefeelsatthismoment,’thoughtLevin。`IsshefeelingthesameasI?’
  And,lookinground,hemethereyes。Andfromtheirexpressionheconcludedthatshewasunderstandingitjustashewas。Butthiswasamistake;shealmostcompletelymissedthemeaningofthewordsoftheservice;shehadnotheardthem,infact。Shecouldnotlistentothemandtakethemin,sostrongwastheonefeelingthatfilledherbreastandgrewstrongerandstronger。Thatfeelingwasjoyatthecompletionoftheprocessthatforthelastmonthandahalfhadbeengoingoninhersoul,andhadduringthosesixweeksbeenajoyandatorturetoher。OnthedaywheninthedrawingroomofthehouseintheArbatstreetshehadgoneuptohiminherbrowndress,andhadgivenherselftohimwithoutaword-onthatday,atthathour,theretookplaceinherheartacompleteseverancefromallheroldlife,andaquitedifferent,new,utterlystrangelifehadbegunforher,whiletheoldlifewasactuallygoingonasbefore。Thosesixweekshadforherbeenatimeoftheutmostblissandtheutmostmisery。Allherlife,allherdesiresandhopeswereconcentratedonthisoneman,stilluncomprehendedbyher,towhomshewasboundbyafeelingofalternateattractionandrepulsion,evenlesscomprehendedthanthemanhimself,andallthewhileshewasgoingonlivingintheoutwardconditionsofheroldlife。Livingtheoldlife,shewashorrifiedatherself,atherutterinsurmountablecallousnesstoallherownpast,tothings,tohabits,tothepeopleshehadloved,wholovedher-tohermother,whowaswoundedbyherindifference,toherkind,tenderfather,tillthendearerthanalltheworld。Atonemomentshewashorrifiedatthisindifference,atanothersherejoicedatwhathadbroughthertothisindifference。Shecouldnotframeathought,norawish,apartfromlifewiththisman;butthisnewlifewasnotyet,andshecouldnotevenpictureitclearlytoherself。Therewasonlyanticipation,thedreadandjoyofthenewandtheunknown。Andnowbeholdanticipationanduncertaintyandremorseattheabandonmentoftheoldlife-allthiswasending,andthenewwasbeginning。Thisnewlifecouldnotbuthaveterrorsforherbyitsobscurity;but,terribleornot,thechangehadbeenwroughtsixweeksbeforeinhersoul,andthiswasmerelythefinalsanctionofwhathadlongbeencompletedinherheart。
  Turningagaintothelectern,thepriestwithsomedifficultytookKitty’slittlering,and,askingLevinforhishand,putitonthefirstjointofhisfinger。`TheservantofGod,Konstantin,plightshistrothtotheservantofGod,Ekaterina。’AndputtinghisbigringonKitty’stouchinglyweak,pinktinyfinger,thepriestsaidthesamething。
  Andthebridalpairtriedseveraltimestounderstandwhattheyhadtodo,andeachtimemadesomemistakeandwerecorrectedbythepriestinawhisper。Atlast,havingdulyperformedtheceremony,havingmadewiththeringsthesignofthecrossoverthem,thepriesthandedKittythebigring,andLevinthelittleone。Againtheywerepuzzled,andpassedtheringsfromhandtohand,stillwithoutdoingwhatwasexpected。
  Dolly,Chirikov,andStepanArkadyevichsteppedforwardtosetthemright。Therewasanintervalofhesitation,whispering,andsmiles;buttheexpressionofsolemnemotiononthefacesofthebetrothedpairdidnotchange:onthecontrary,intheirperplexityovertheirhandstheylookedmoregraveanddeeplymovedthanbefore,andthesmilewithwhichStepanArkadyevichwhisperedtothemthatnowtheywouldeachputontheirownringdiedawayonhislips。Hehadafeelingthatanysmilewouldjaronthem。
  `Thouwhodidstfromthebeginningcreatemaleandfemale,’thepriestreadaftertheexchangeofrings,`fromTheewomanwasgiventomantobeahelpmeettohim,andfortheprocreationofchildren。OLord,ourGod,whohastpoureddowntheblessingsofThyTruthaccordingtoThyHolyCovenantuponThychosenservants,ourfathers,fromgenerationtogeneration,blessThyservantsKonstantinandEkaterina,andmaketheirtrothfastinfaith,andunionofhearts,andintruth,andinlove……’
  Levinfeltmoreandmorethatallhisideasofmarriage,allhisdreamsofhowhewouldorderhislife,weremerechildishness,andthatitwassomethinghehadnotunderstoodhitherto,andnowunderstoodlessthanever,thoughitwasbeingperformeduponhim。Thelumpinhisthroatrosehigherandhigher;tearsthatwouldnotbecheckedcameintohiseyes。
  InthechurchtherewasallMoscow,allthefriendsandrelations;andduringtheceremonyofplightingtroth,inthebrilliantlylightedchurch,therewasanincessantflowofdiscreetlysubduedtalkinthecircleofgailydressedwomenandgirls,andmeninwhiteties,eveningdress,anduniform。Thetalkwasprincipallykeptupbythemen,whilethewomenwereabsorbedinwatchingeverydetailoftheceremony,whichalwaystouchesthemsomuch。
  Inthelittlegroupnearestthebridewerehertwosisters:Dolly,andtheyoungerone,theself-possessedbeauty,MadameLvova,whohadjustarrivedfromabroad。
  `WhyisitMarie’sinlilac?It’sasbadasblackatawedding,’saidMadameKorsunskaia。
  `Withhercomplexion,it’sheronesalvation,’respondedMadameDrubetskaia。`Iwonderwhytheyhadtheweddingintheevening?It’slikeshoppeople……’
  `Somuchprettier。Iwasmarriedintheeveningtoo……’answeredMadameKorsunskaia,andshesighed,rememberinghowcharmingshehadbeenthatday,andhowabsurdlyinloveherhusbandwas,andhowdifferentitallwasnow。
  `Theysayifanyoneisbestmanmorethantentimes,he’llneverbemarried。Iwantedtobeoneforthetenthtime,butthepostwastaken,’saidCountSiniavintotheprettyPrincessCharskaia,whohaddesignsonhim。
  PrincessCharskaiaonlyansweredwithasmile。ShelookedatKitty,thinkinghowandwhenshewouldstandwithCountSiniavininKitty’splace,andhowshewouldremindhimthenofhisjoketoday。
  ShcherbatskytoldtheoldHoffraulein,MadameNikoleva,thathemeanttoputthecrownonKitty’schignonforluck。
  `Sheoughtnottohavewornachignon,’answeredMadameNikoleva,whohadlongagomadeuphermindthatiftheelderlywidowershewasanglingformarriedher,theweddingshouldbeofthesimplest。`Idon’tlikesuchfaste。’
  SergeiIvanovichwastalkingtoDaryaDmitrievna,jestinglyassuringherthatthecustomofgoingawayaftertheweddingwasbecomingcommonbecausenewlymarriedpeoplealwaysfeltalittleashamedofthemselves。
  `Yourbrothermayfeelproudofhimself。She’samarvelofsweetness。Ibelieveyou’reenvious。’
  `Oh,I’vegotoverthat,DaryaDmitrievna,’heanswered,andamelancholyandseriousexpressionsuddenlycameoverhisface。
  StepanArkadyevichwastellinghissister-in-lawhisjokeaboutdivorce。
  `Thewreathwantssettingstraight,’sheanswered,withoutlisteningtohim。
  `Whatapityshe’slostherlooksso,’CountessNordstonesaidtoMadameLvova。`Still,he’snotworthherlittlefinger,ishe?’
  `Oh,Ilikehimso-notbecausehe’smyfuturebeau-frere,’answeredMadameLvova。`Andhowwellhe’sbehaving!It’ssodifficult,too,tolookwellinsuchaposition,nottoberidiculous。Andhe’snotridiculous,andnotaffected;onecanseehe’smoved。’
  `Youexpectedit,Isuppose?’
  `Almost。Shealwayscaredforhim。’
  `Well,weshallseewhichofthemwillstepontherugfirst。IwarnedKitty。’
  `Itwillmakenodifference,’saidMadameLvova,`we’reallobedientwives;it’sinourfamily。’
  `Oh,IsteppedontherugbeforeVassiliionpurpose。Andyou,Dolly?’
  Dollystoodbesidethem;sheheardthem,butshedidnotanswer。Shewasdeeplymoved。Thetearsstoodinhereyes,andshecouldnothavespokenwithoutcrying。ShewasrejoicingoverKittyandLevin;goingbackinthoughttoherownwedding,sheglancedattheradiantfigureofStepanArkadyevich,forgotallthepresent,andrememberedonlyherowninnocentlove。Sherecallednotherselfonly,butallherwomenfriendsandacquaintances。Shethoughtofthemontheonedayoftheirtriumph,whentheyhadstoodlikeKittyundertheweddingcrown,withloveandhopeanddreadintheirhearts,renouncingthepast,andsteppingforwardintothemysteriousfuture。Amongthebridesthatcamebacktohermemory,shethoughttooofherdarlingAnna,ofwhoseproposeddivorceshehadjustbeenhearing。Andshehadstoodjustasinnocent,inorangeblossomsandbridalveil。Andnow?`It’sterriblystrange,’shesaidtoherself。
  Itwasnotmerelythesisters,thewomenfriends,andthefemalerelationsofthebride,whowerefollowingeverydetailoftheceremony。Womenwhowerequitestrangers,merespectators,werewatchingitexcitedly,holdingtheirbreath,infearoflosingasinglemovementorexpressionofthebrideandbridegroom,andangrilynotanswering,oftennothearing,theremarksofthecallousmen,whokeptmakingjokingorirrelevantobservations。
  `Whyhasshebeencrying?Isshebeingmarriedagainstherwill?’
  `Againstherwill-toafinefellowlikethat?APrince,isn’the?’
  `Isthathersisterinthewhitesatin?Justlistenhowthedeaconboomsout,``andobey!’’
  `ArethechoristersfromthechurchoftheMiracle?’
  `No-fromtheSynodalschool。’
  `I’mtold-he’sgoingtotakeherhometohiscountryplaceatonce。Iaskedthefootman。Awfullyrich,theysay。That’swhyshe’sbeingmarriedtohim。’
  `No-they’reawell-matchedpair。’
  `Isay,MaryaVassilyevna,youclaimedthoseflyawaycrinolineswerenotbeingworn。Justlookatherinthepucedress-anambassador’swife,theysaysheis-see,howherskirtbounces!……Soandso!’
  `Whataprettydearthebrideis-likealambdeckedwithflowers!Well,saywhatyouwill,wewomenfeelforoursister。’
  Suchwerethecommentsinthecrowdofgazingwomenwhohadsucceededinslippinginatthechurchdoors。