Where,indeed,myfriend?Lookingaboutyou,youbegintolearnthatyoucannotdescribeyourwhereabouts.Idonotmarvelatthat.Noonefindshimselfplantedatlastinsoterriblyfoulamorass,ashewouldfainstandstillforeverondryground.
　　DrGrantlywasdisgusted;andalthoughhewashimselftootrueandthoroughinallhisfeelings,tobeabletosayaloudthatanygiantwaswrong,stillhehadasadfeelingwithinhisheartthattheworldwassinkingfromunderhim.Hewasstillsufficientlyexoterictothinkthatagoodstand-upfightinagoodcausewasagoodthing.NodoubthedidwishtobeBishopofWestminster,andwasanxioustocompassthatprefermentbyanymeansthatmightappeartohimtobefair.Andwhynot?Butthiswasnottheendofhisaspirations.Hewishedthatthegiantsmightprevailineverything,inbishopricsasinallothermatters;andhecouldnotunderstandthattheyshouldgivewayontheveryfirstappearanceofaskirmish.Inhisopentalkhewasloudagainstmanyagod;
　　butinhisheartofheartshewasbitterenoughagainstbothPorphyrionandOrion.
　　'Mydeardoctor,itwouldnotdo;——notinthissession;itwouldnotindeed.'Sohadspokentohimahalf-fledgedbutespeciallyesotericyoungmonster-cubattheTreasury,whoconsideredhimselfasuptoallthedodgesofhisparty,andregardedthearmyofmartyrswhosupporteditasaratherheavy,butveryusefulcollectionoffogies.DrGrantlyhadnotcaredtodiscussthematterwiththehalf-fledgedmonster-cub.Thebestlickedofallthemonsters,thegiantmostlikeagodofthemall,hadsaidawordortwotohim;andhealsohadsaidawordortwotothatgiant.Porphyrionhadtoldhimthatthebishopbillwouldnotdo;
　　andhe,inreturn,speakingwithawarmface,andbloodonhischeeks,hadtoldPorphyrionthathesawnoreasonwhythebillshouldnotdo.Thecourteousgianthadsmiledasheshookhisponderoushead,andthenthearchdeaconhadlefthim,unconsciouslyshakingsomedustfromhisshoes,ashepacedthepassagesoftheTreasurychambersforthelasttime.AshewalkedbacktohislodgingsinMountStreet,manythoughts,notaltogetherbadintheirnature,passedthroughhismind.Whyshouldhetroublehimselfaboutabishopric?Washenotwellashewas,inhisrectorydownatPlumstead?Mightitnotbeillforhimathisagetotransplanthimselfintonewsoil,toengageinnewduties,andliveamongnewpeople?WashenotusefulatBarchester,andrespectedalso;andmightitnotbepossiblethatupthereatWestminster,hemightberegardedmerelyasatoolwithwhichothermencouldwork?Hehadnotquitelikedthetoneofthatspeciallyexotericyoungmonster-cub,whohadclearlyregardedhimasadistinguishedfogyfromthearmyofmartyrs.HewouldtakehiswifebacktoBarsetshire,andtherelivecontentedwiththegoodthingswhichProvidencehadgivenhim.
　　Thosehighpoliticalgrapeshadbecomesour,mysneeringfriendswillsay.Well?Isitnotagoodthingthatgrapesshouldbecomesourwhichhangoutofreach?Ishenotwisewhocanregardallgrapesassourwhicharemanifestlytoohighforhishand?ThosegrapesoftheTreasurybench,forwhichgodsandgiantsfight,sufferingsomuchwhentheyareforcedtoabstainfromeating,andsomuchmorewhentheydoeat,——thosegrapesareverysourtome.
　　Iamsurethattheyareindigestible,andthatthosewhoeatthemundergoalltheillswhichtheRevalentaArabicaispreparedtocure.Andsoitwasnowwiththearchdeacon.HethoughtofthestrainwhichwouldhavebeenputonhisconsciencehadhecomeuptheretositinLondonasBishopofWestminster;andinthisframeofmindhewalkedhometohiswife.Duringthefirstfewmomentsofhisinterviewwithherallhisregretshadcomebackuponhim.
　　Indeed,itwouldhavehardlysuitedforhimthentohavepreachedthisnewdoctrineofruralcontentment.Thewifeofhisbosom,whomhesofullytrusted——hadsofullyloved——wishedforgrapesthathunghighuponthewall,andheknewthatitwaspasthispowertoteachheratthemomenttodropherambition.Anyteachingthathemighteffectinthatway,mustcomebydegrees.
　　Butbeforemanyminuteswereoverhehadtoldherofherfateandofhisowndecision.'SowehadbettergobacktoPlumstead,'hesaid;andshehadnotdissented.
　　'IamsorryforpoorGriselda'ssake,'MrsGrantlyhadremarkedlaterintheevening,whentheywereagaintogether.
　　'ButIthoughtshewastoremainwithLadyLufton?'
　　'Well;soshewillforalittletime.ThereisnoonewithwhomI
　　wouldsosoontrustheroutofmyowncareaswithLadyLufton.Sheisallthatonecandesire.'
　　'Exactly;andasfarasGriseldaisconcerned,IcannotsaythatI
　　thinksheistobepitied.'
　　'Nottobepitied,perhaps,'saidMrsGrantly.'But,yousee,archdeacon,LadyLufton,ofcourse,hasherownviews.'
　　'Herownviews?'
　　'ItishardlyanysecretthatsheisveryanxioustomakeamatchbetweenLordLuftonandGriselda.Andthoughthatmightbeaveryproperarrangementifitwerefixed——'
　　'LordLuftonmarryGriselda!'saidthearchdeacon,speakingquickandraisinghiseyebrows.Hismindhadasyetbeentroubledbybutfewthoughtsrespectinghischild'sfutureestablishment.'Ihadneverdreamtofsuchathing.'
　　'Butotherpeoplehavedonemorethandreamtofit,archdeacon.Asregardsthematchitself,itwould,Ithink,beunobjectionable.
　　LordLuftonwillnotbeaveryrichman,buthispropertyisrespectable,andasfarasIcanlearn,hischaracterisonthewholegood.Iftheylikeeachother,Ishouldbecontentedwithsuchamarriage.But,Imustown,IamnotquitesatisfiedattheideaofleavingherallalonewithLadyLufton.Peoplewilllookonitasasettledthing,whenitisnotsettled——andveryprobablymaynotbesettled;andthatwilldothepoorgirlharm.Sheisverymuchadmired;therecanbenodoubtofthat;andLordDumbello——'
　　Thearchdeaconopenedhiseyesstillwider.Hehadhadnoideathatsuchachoiceofsons-in-lawwasbeingpreparedforhim;and,totellthetruth,wasalmostbewilderedbytheheightofhiswife'sambition.LordLufton,withhisbaronyandtwentythousandayear,mightbeacceptedasjustgoodenough;butfailinghimtherewasanembryomarquis,whosefortunewouldbemorethantentimesasgreat,allreadytoaccepthischild!Andthenhethought,ashusbandssometimeswillthink,ofSusanHardingasshewaswhenhehadgonea-courtingtoherundertheelmsbeforethehouseinthewarden'sgarden,atBarchester,andofdearoldMrHarding,hiswife'sfather,whostilllived,inhumblelodgingsinthatcity;andashethought,hewonderedatandadmiredthegreatnessofthatlady'smind.'InevercanforgiveLordDeTerrier,'saidthelady,connectingvariouspointstogetherinhermind.
　　'That'snonsense,'saidthearchdeacon.'Youmustforgivehim.'
　　'AndImustconfessthatitannoysmetoleaveLondonatpresent.'
　　'Itcan'tbehelped,'saidthearchdeacon,somewhatgruffly;forhewasamanwho,oncertainpoints,chosetohavehisownway——andhadit.
　　'Oh,no:Iknowitcan'tbehelped,'saidMrsGrantly,inatonewhichimpliedadeepinjury.'Iknowitcan'tbehelped.PoorGriselda!'Andthentheywenttobed.OnthenextmorningGriseldacametoher,andinaninterviewthatwasstrictlyprivate,hermothersaidmoretoherthanshehadeveryetspoken,astotheprospectsofherfuturelife.Hitherto,onthissubject,MrsGrantlyhadsaidlittleornothing.ShewouldhavebeenwellpleasedthatherdaughtershouldhavereceivedtheincenseofLordLufton'svows——or,perhaps,aswellpleasedhaditbeentheincenseofLordDumbello'svows——withoutanyinterferenceonherpart.Insuchcaseherchild,sheknew,wouldhavetoldherwithquitesufficienteagerness,andthematterineithercasewouldhavebeenarrangedasaprettylovematch.ShehadnofearofanyimproprietyorofanyrashnessonGriselda'spart.ShehadthoroughlyknownherdaughterwhensheboastedthatGriseldawouldneverindulgeinanunauthorizedpassion.Butasmattersnowstood,withthosetwostringstoherbow,andwiththatLufton-Grantlyalliancetreatyinexistence——ofwhichshe,Griseldaherselfknewnothing——mightitnotbepossiblethatthepoorchildshouldstumblethroughwantofadequatedirection?Guidedbythesethoughts,MrsGrantlyhadresolvedtosayafewwordsbeforesheleftLondon.Soshewrotealinetoherdaughter,andGriseldareachedMountStreetattwoo'clockinLadyLufton'scarriage,whichduringtheinterview,waitedforheratthebeer-shoproundthecorner.
　　'Andpapawon'tbeBishopofWestminster?'saidtheyounglady,whenthedoingsofthegiantshadbeensufficientlyexplainedtomakeherunderstandthatallthosehopeswereover.
　　'No,mydear;atanyratenotnow.'
　　'Whatashame!Ithoughtitwasallsettled.What'sthegood,mamma,ofLordDeTerrierbeingPrimeMinister,ifhecan'tmakewhomhelikesabishop?'
　　'Idon'tthinkthatLordDeTerrierhasbehavedatallwelltoyourfather.However,that'salongquestion,andwecan'tgointoitnow.'
　　'HowgladthoseProudieswillbe!'Griseldawouldhavetalkedbythehouronthissubjecthadhermotherallowedher,butitwasnecessarythatMrsGrantlyshouldgotoothermatters.ShebeganaboutLadyLufton,sayingwhatadearwomanherladyshipwas;andthenwentontosaythatGriseldawastoremaininLondonaslongasitsuitedherfriendandhostesstostaytherewithher;butadded,thatthismightprobablynotbeverylong,asitwasnotoriousthatLadyLufton,wheninLondon,wasalwaysinahurrytogetbacktoFramley.
　　'ButIdon'tthinksheisinsuchahurrythisyear,mamma,'saidGriselda,whointhemonthofMaypreferredBrutonStreettoPlumstead,andhadnoobjectionwhatevertothecoronetonthepanelsofLadyLufton'scoach.AndthenMrsGrantlycommencedherexplanation——verycautiously.'No,mydear,Idaresaysheisnotinsuchahurrythisyear,——thatis,aslongasyouremainwithher.'
　　'Iamsuresheisverykind.'
　　'Sheisverykind,andyououghttoloveherverymuch.IknowI
　　do.IhavenofriendintheworldforwhomIhaveagreaterregardthanforLadyLufton.Itisthatwhichmakesmehappytoleaveyouwithher.'
　　'Allthesame,Iwishyouandpapahadremainedup;thatis,iftheyhadmadepapaabishop.'
　　'It'snogoodthinkingofthatnow,mydear.WhatIparticularlywantedtosaytoyouwasthis:IthinkyoushouldknowwhataretheideaswhichLadyLuftonentertains.'
　　'Herideas!'saidGriselda,whohadnevertroubledherselfmuchinthinkingaboutotherpeople'sthoughts.
　　'Yes,Griselda.WhileyouwerestayingdownatFramleyCourt,andalso,Isuppose,sinceyouhavebeenuphereinBrutonStreet,youmusthaveseenagooddealof——LordLufton.'
　　'Hedoesn'tcomeveryoftentoBrutonStreet,——thatistosay,notveryoften.'
　　'H-m,'ejaculatedMrsGrantly,verygently.Shewouldwillinglyhaverepressedthesoundaltogether,butithadbeentoomuchforher.IfshefoundreasontothinkthatLadyLuftonwasplayingherfalse,shewouldimmediatelytakeherdaughteraway,breakupthetreaty,andpreparefortheHartletopalliance.Suchwerethethoughtsthatranthroughhermind.ButsheknewallthewhilethatLadyLuftonwasnotfalse.ThefaultwasnotwithLadyLufton;nor,perhaps,altogetherwithLordLufton.MrsGrantlyhadunderstoodthefullforceofthecomplaintwhichLadyLuftonhadmadeagainstherdaughter;andthoughshehadofcoursedefendedherchild,andonthewholehaddefendedhersuccessfully,yetsheconfessedtoherselfthatGriselda'schanceofafirst-rateestablishmentwouldbebetterifshewerealittlemoreimpulsive.
　　Amandoesnotwishtomarryastatue,letthestatuebeeversostatuesque.Shecouldnotteachherdaughtertobeimpulsive,anymorethanshecouldteachhertobesixfeethigh;butmightitnotbepossibletoteachhertoseemso?Thetaskwasaverydelicateone,evenforamother'shand.'Ofcoursehecannotbeathomenowasmuchashewasdownatthecountry,whenhewaslivinginthesamehouse,'saidMrsGrantly,whosebusinessitwastotakeLordLufton'spartatthepresentmoment.'HemustbeathisclubandattheHouseofLords,andintwentyplaces.'
　　'Heisveryfondofgoingtoparties,andhedancesbeautifully.'
　　'Iamsurehedoes.Ihaveseenasmuchasthatmyself,andI
　　thinkIknowsomeonewithwhomhelikestodance.'Andthemothergavethedaughteralovinglittlesqueeze.
　　'Doyoumeanme,mamma?'
　　'Yes,Idomeanyou,mydear.Andisitnottrue?LadyLuftonsaysthathelikesdancingwithyoubetterthanwithanyoneelseinLondon.'
　　'Idon'tknow,'saidGriselda,lookingdownupontheground.MrsGrantlythoughtthatthisuponthewholewasratheragoodopening.Itmighthavebeenbetter.Somepointofinterestmoreseriousinitsnaturethanthatofawaltzmighthavebeenfoundonwhichtoconnectherdaughter'ssympathieswiththoseofherfuturehusband.Butanypointofinterestwasbetterthannone;anditissodifficulttofindpointsofinterestinpersonswhobytheirnaturearenotimpulsive.
　　'LadyLuftonsaysso,atanyrate,'continuedMrsGrantly,eversocautiously.'ShethinksthatLordLuftonlikesnopartnerbetter.
　　Whatdoyouthinkyourself,Griselda?'
　　'Idon'tknow,mamma.'
　　'Butyoungladiesmustthinkofsuchthings,musttheynot?'
　　'Mustthey,mamma?'
　　'Isupposetheydo,don'tthey?Thetruthis,Griselda,thatLadyLuftonthinksthatif——Canyouguesswhatshethinks?'
　　'No,mamma.'ButthatwasafibonGriselda'spart.
　　'ShethinksthatmyGriseldawouldmakethebestpossiblewifeintheworldforherson:andIthinksotoo.Ithinkhersonwillbeaveryfortunatemanifhecangetsuchawife.Andnowwhatdoyouthink,Griselda?'
　　'Idon'tthinkanything,mamma.'Butthatwouldnotdo.Itwasabsolutelynecessarythatsheshouldthink,andabsolutelynecessarythathermothershouldtellherso.Suchadegreeofunimpulsivenessasthiswouldleadto——Heavenknowswhatresults!
　　Lufton-GrantlytreatiesandHartletopinterestswouldbeallthrownawayuponayoungladywhowouldnotthinkanythingofanoblesuitorsighingforhersmiles.Besides,itwasnotnatural.
　　Griselda,ashermotherknew,hadneverbeenagirlofheadlongfeeling;butstillshehadhadherlikesanddislikes.Inthatmatterofthebishopricshewaskeenenough;andnoonecouldevinceadeeperinterestinthesubjectofawell-madenewdressthanGriseldaGrantly.Itwasnotpossiblethatsheshouldbeindifferentastoherfutureprospects,andshemustknowthatthoseprospectsdependedmainlyonhermarriage.Hermotherwasalmostangrywithher,butneverthelessshewentonverygently.
　　'Youdon'tthinkanything!But,mydarling,youmustthink.YoumustmakeupyourmindwhatwouldbeyouranswerifLordLuftonweretoproposetoyou.ThatiswhatLadyLuftonwisheshimtodo.'
　　'Butheneverwill,mamma.'
　　'Andifhedid?'
　　'ButI'msureheneverwill.Hedoesn'tthinkofsuchathingatall——and——and——'
　　'Andwhat,mydear?'
　　'Idon'tknow,mamma.'
　　'Surelyyoucanspeakouttome,dearest!AllIcareaboutisyourhappiness.BothLadyLuftonandIthinkthatitwouldbeahappymarriageifyoubothcaredforeachotherenough.Shethinksthatheisfondofyou.ButifheweretentimesLordLuftonIwouldnotteaseyouaboutitifIthoughtthatyoucouldnotlearntocareabouthim.Whatwasityouweregoingtosay,mydear?'
　　'LordLuftonthinksagreatdealmoreaboutLucyRobartsthanhedoesof——of——ofanyoneelse,Ibelieve,'saidGriselda,showingnowsomelittleanimationbyhermanner,'dumpylittleblackthingthatsheis.'
　　'LucyRobarts!'saidMrsGrantly,takenbysurpriseatfindingthatherdaughterwasmovedbysuchapassionasjealousy,andfeelingalsoperfectlyassuredthattherecouldnotbeanypossiblegroundforjealousyinsuchadirectionasthat.'LucyRobarts,mydear!
　　Idon'tsupposeLordLuftoneverthoughtofspeakingtoher,exceptinthewayofcivility.'
　　'Yes,hedid,mamma!Don'tyourememberatFramley?'MrsGrantlybegantolookbackinhermind,andshethoughtshedidrememberhavingonceobservedLordLuftonspeakinginratheraconfidentialmannerwiththeparson'ssister.Butshewassuretherewasnothinginit.IfthatwerethereasonwhyGriseldawassocoldtoherproposedlover,itwouldbeathousandpitiesthatitshouldnotberemoved.'Nowyoumentionher,Idoremembertheyounglady,'
　　saidMrsGrantly,'adarkgirl,verylow,andwithoutmuchfigure.
　　Sheseemedtometokeepverymuchinthebackground.'
　　'Idon'tknowmuchaboutthat,mamma.'
　　'AsfarasIsawher,shedid.But,mydearGriselda,youshouldnotallowyourselftothinkofsuchathing.LordLufton,ofcourse,isboundtobeciviltoanyyoungladyinhismother'shouse,andIamquitesurethathehasnootherideawhateverwithregardtoMissRobarts.Icertainlycannotspeakastoherintellect,forIdonotthinksheopenedhermouthinmypresence;
　　but——'
　　'Oh!shehasplentytosayforherself,whenshepleases.She'saslylittlething.'
　　'But,atanyrate,mydear,shehasnopersonalattractionswhatever,andIdonotatallthinkthatLordLuftonisamantobetakenby——by——byanythingthatMissRobartsmightdoorsay.'Asthosewords'personalattractions'wereuttered,Griseldamanagedsototurnhernecktocatchasideviewofherselfinoneofthemirrorsonthewall,andthenshebridledherselfup,andmadealittleplaywithhereyes,andlooked,ashermotherthought,verywell.'Itisallnothingtome,mamma,ofcourse,'shesaid.
　　'Well,mydear,perhapsnot.Idon'tsaythatitis.Idonotwishtoputtheslightestconstraintuponyourfeelings.IfIdidnothavethemostthoroughdependenceonyourgoodsenseandhighprinciples,Ishouldnotspeaktoyouinthisway.ButasIhave,IthoughtitbesttotellyouthatbothLadyLuftonandIshouldbewellpleasedifwethoughtthatyouandLordLuftonwerefondofeachother.
　　'Iamsureheneverthinksofsuchathing,mamma.'
　　'AndasforLucyRobarts,praygetthatideaoutofyourhead;ifnotforyoursake,thenforhis.Youshouldgivehimcreditforbettertaste.'ButitwasnotsoeasytotakeanythingoutofGriselda'sheadthatshehadoncetakenintoit.'Asfortastes,mamma,thereisnoaccountingforthem,'shesaid;andthenthecolloquyonthatsubjectwasover.TheresultofitonMrsGrantly'smindwasafeelingamountingalmosttoaconvictioninfavouroftheDumbellointerest.
　　CHAPTERXXVI
　　IMPULSIVE
　　ItrustmyreaderswillallrememberhowPucktheponywasbeatenduringthatdrivetoHogglestock.ItmaybepresumedthatPuckhimselfonthatoccasiondidnotsuffermuch.HisskinwasnotsosoftasMrsRobarts'sheart.Thelittlebeastwasfullofoatsandallthegoodthingsofthisworld,andtherefore,whenthewhiptouchedhim,hewoulddanceaboutandshakehislittleears,andrunonatatremendouspacefortwentyyards,makinghismistressthinkthathehadenduredterriblethings.But,intruth,duringthosewhippingsPuckwasnotthechiefsufferer.Lucyhadbeenforcedtodeclare——forcedbythestrengthofherownfeelings,andbytheimpossibilityofassentingtotheproprietyofamarriagebetweenLordLuftonandMissGrantly,——shehadbeenforcedtodeclarethatshedidcareaboutLordLuftonasmuchasthoughhewereherbrother.Shehadsaidallthistoherself——nay,muchmorethanthis——veryoften.Butnowshehadsaiditoutloudtohersister-in-law;andsheknewthatwhatshehadsaidwasremembered,considered,andhad,toacertainextent,becomethecauseofalteredconduct.FannyalludedveryseldomtotheLuftonsincasualconversation,andneverspokeaboutLordLuftonunlesswhenherhusbandmadeitimpossiblethatsheshouldnotspeakofhim.
　　Lucyhadattemptedonmorethanoneoccasiontoremedythis,bytalkingabouttheyounglordinalaughing,and,perhaps,half-jeeringway;shehadbeensarcasticastohishuntingandshooting,andhadboldlyattemptedtosayawordinjokeabouthisloveforGriselda.Butshefeltthatshehadfailed;thatshehadfailedaltogetherasregardedFanny;andthatastoherbrother,shewouldmoreprobablybethemeansofopeninghiseyes,thanhaveanyeffectinkeepingthemclosed.SoshegaveuphereffortsandspokenofurtherwordaboutLordLufton.Hersecrethadbeentold,andsheknewthatithadbeentold.Atthistimethetwoladieswereleftagreatdealalonetogetherinthedrawing-roomattheparsonage;more,perhaps,thanhadeveryetbeenthecasesinceLucyhadbeenthere.LadyLuftonwasaway,andthereforethealmostdailyvisittoFramleyCourtwasnotmade;andMarkinthesedayswasagreatdealatBarchester,having,nodoubt,veryonerousdutiestoperformbeforehecouldbeadmittedasoneofthechapter.Hewentinto,whathewaspleasedtocallresidence,almostatonce.Thatis,hetookhismonthofpreaching,aidingalso,insomeslightandverydignifiedway,inthegeneralSundaymorningservices.HedidnotexactlyliveatBarchester,becausethehousewasnotready.Thatatleastwastheassumedreason.
　　ThechattelsofDrStanhope,thelateprebendary,hadnotbeenasyetremoved,andtherewaslikelytobesomelittledelay,creditorsassertingtheirrighttothem.Thismighthavebeenveryinconvenienttoagentlemananxiouslyexpectingtheexcellenthousewhichtheliberalityofpastageshadprovidedforhisuse;butitwasnotsofeltbyMrRobarts.IfDrStanhope'sfamilyorcreditorswouldkeepthehouseforthenexttwelvemonths,hewouldbewellpleased.AndbythisarrangementhewasenabledtogetthroughhisfirstmonthofabsencefromthechurchatFramleywithoutanynoticefromLadyLufton,seeingthatLadyLuftonwasinLondonallthetime.Thiswasalsoconvenient,andtaughtouryoungprebendarytolookinhisnewprefermentmorefavourablythanhehadhithertodone.
　　FannyandLucywerethusleftmuchalone:andasoutofthefullheadthemouthspeaks,soisthefullheartmorepronetospeakatsuchperiodsofconfidenceasthese.Lucy,whenshefirstthoughtofherownstate,determinedtoendowherselfwithapowerfulgiftofreticence.Shewouldnevertellherlove,certainly;butneitherwouldsheletconcealmentfeedonherdamaskcheek,norwouldsheeverbefoundforamomentsittinglikePatienceonamonument.Shewouldfightherownfightbravelywithinherownbosom,andconquerherenemyaltogether.Shewouldeitherpreach,orstarve,orwearyherloveintosubjection,andnooneshouldbeabitthewiser.ShewouldteachherselftoshakehandswithLordLuftonwithoutaquiver,andwouldbepreparedtolikehiswifeamazingly——unlessindeedthatwifeshouldbeGriseldaGrantly.Suchwereherresolutions;butattheendofthefirstweektheywerebrokenintoshiversandscatteredtothewinds.Theyhadbeensittinginthehousetogetherthewholeofonewetday;andasMarkwastodineatBarchesterwiththedean,theyhadhaddinnerearly,eatingwiththechildrenalmostintheirlaps.Itissothatladiesdo,whentheirhusbandsleavethemtothemselves.Itwasgettingdusktowardsevening,andtheyweresittinginthedrawing-room,thechildrennowhavingretired,whenMrsRobartsforthefifthtimesincehervisittoHogglestockbegantoexpressherwishthatshecoulddosomegoodtotheCrawleys,——toGraceCrawleyinparticular,who,standingupthereatherfather'selbow,learningGreekirregularverbs,hadappearedtoMrsRobartstobeanespecialobjectofpity.
　　'Idon'tknowhowtosetaboutit,'saidMrsRobarts.NowanyallusiontothatvisittoHogglestockalwaysdroveLucy'smindbacktotheconsiderationofthesubjectwhichhadmostoccupieditatthetime.SheatsuchmomentsrememberedhowshehadbeatenPuck,andhowinherhalf-banteringbutstilltooseriousmannershehadapologizedfordoingso,andhadexplainedthereason.AndthereforeshedidnotinterestherselfaboutGraceCrawleyasvividlyassheshouldhavedone.'No;oneneverdoes,'shesaid.
　　'IwasthinkingaboutitalldayasIdrovehome,'saidFanny.'Thedifficultyisthis:Whatcanwedowithher?'
　　'Exactly,'saidLucy,rememberingtheverypointoftheroadatwhichshehaddeclaredthatshedidlikeLordLuftonverymuch.
　　'Ifwecouldhaveherhereforamonthorsoandthensendhertoschool;——butIknowMrCrawleywouldnotallowustopayforherschooling.'
　　'Idon'tthinkhewould,'saidLucy,withherthoughtsfarremovedfromMrCrawleyandhisdaughterGrace.
　　'Andthenweshouldnotknowwhattodowithher,shouldwe?'
　　'No;youwouldnot.'
　　'Itwouldneverdotohavethepoorgirlaboutthehousehere,withnoonetoteachheranything.MarkwouldnotteachherGreekverbs,youknow.'
　　'Isupposenot.'
　　'Lucy,youarenotattendingtoawordIsaytoyou,andIdon'tthinkyouhaveforthelasthour.Idon'tbelieveyouknowwhatI
　　amtalkingabout.'
　　'Oh,yes,Ido——GraceCrawley;I'lltryandteachherifyoulike,onlyIdon'tknowanythingmyself.'
　　'That'snotwhatImeanatall,andyouknowIwouldnotaskyoutotakesuchataskonyourself.ButIdothinkyoumighttalkitoverwithme.'
　　'MightI?verywell;Iwill.Whatisit?Oh,GraceCrawley——youwanttoknowwhoistoteachhertheirregularGreekverbs.Oh,dear,Fanny,myheaddoesacheso;praydon'tbeangrywithme.'
　　AndthenLucy,throwingherselfbackonthesofa,putonehanduppainfullytoherforehead,andaltogethergaveupthebattle.MrsRobartswasbyhersideinamoment.
　　'DearestLucy,whatisitmakesyourheadachesooftennow?Youusednottohavethoseheadaches.'
　　'It'sbecauseI'mgrowingstupid:nevermind.WewillgoonaboutpoorGrace.Itwouldnotdotohaveagoverness,wouldit?'
　　'Icanseethatyouarenotwell,Lucy,'saidMrsRobarts,withalookofdeepconcern.'Whatisit,dearest?Icanseethatsomethingisthematter.'
　　'Somethingthematter!No,there'snot;nothingworthtalkingof.
　　SometimesIthinkI'llgobacktoDevonshireandlivethere.I
　　couldstaywithBlancheforatime,andthengetalodginginExeter.'
　　'GobacktoDevonshire!'andMrsRobartslookedasthoughshethoughtthathersister-in-lawwasgoingmad.'Whydoyouwanttogoawayfromus?Thisistobeyourown,ownhome,alwaysnow.'
　　'Isit?ThenIaminabadway.Ohdear,ohdear,whatafoolI
　　am!WhatanidiotI'vebeen!Fanny,Idon'tthinkIcanstayhere;
　　andIdowishI'dnevercome.Ido——do——do,thoughyoulookatmesohorribly,'andjumpingupshethrewherselfintohersister-in-law'sarmsandbegankissingherviolently.'Don'tpretendtobewounded,foryouknowthatIloveyou.YouknowthatIcouldlivewithallmylife,andthinkyouwereperfect——asyouare;but——'
　　'HasMarksaidanything?'
　　'Notaword——notaghostofasyllable.ItisnotMark;oh,Fanny!'
　　'IamafraidIknowwhatyoumean,'saidMrsRobartsinalowtremulousvoice,andwithdeepsorrowpaintedonherface.
　　'Ofcourseyoudo;ofcourseyouknow;youhaveknownitallalong;
　　sincethatdayintheponycarriage.Iknewthatyouknewit.Youdonotdaretomentionhisname;wouldnotthattellmethatyouknowit?AndI,IamhypocriteenoughforMark;butmyhypocrisywon'tpassmusterbeforeyou.And,now,hadInotbettergotoDevonshire?'
　　'Dearest,dearestLucy.'
　　'WasInotrightaboutthatlabelling?Oheavens!whatidiotswegirlsare!Thatadozensoftwordsshouldhavebowledmeoverlikeaninepin,andleftmewithoutaninchofgroundtocallmyown.
　　AndIwassoproudofmyownstrength;sosurethatIshouldneverbemissish,andspoony,andsentimental!IwassodeterminedtolikehimasMarkdoes,oryou——'
　　'Ishallnotlikehimatallifhehasspokenwordstoyouthatheshouldnothavespoken.'
　　'Buthehasnot.'Andthenshestoppedamomenttoconsider.'No,hehasnot.Heneversaidawordtomethatwouldmakeyouangrywithhimifyouknewofit.Except,perhaps,thathecalledmeLucy;andthatwasmyfault,nothis.'
　　'Becauseyoutalkedofsoftwords.'
　　'Fanny,youhavenoideawhatanabsolutefoolIam,whatanunutterableass.ThesoftwordsofwhichItellyouwereofthekindwhichhespeakstoyouwhenheasksyouhowthecowgetsonwhichhesenttoyoufromIreland,ortoMarkaboutPonto'sshoulder.Hetoldmethatheknewpapa,andthathewasatschoolwithMark,andthatashewassuchgoodfriendswithyouhereattheparsonage,hemustbegoodfriendswithmetoo.No;ithasnotbeenhisfault.Thesoftwordswhichdidthemischiefweresuchasthose.Buthowwellhismotherunderstoodtheworld!Inordertohavebeensafe,Ishouldnothavedaredtolookathim.'
　　'But,dearestLucy——'
　　'Iknowwhatyouaregoingtosay,andIadmititall.Heisnohero.Thereisnothingonearthwonderfulabouthim.Ineverheardhimsayasinglewordofwisdom,orutterathoughtthatwasakintopoetry.Hedevotesallhisenergiestoridingafterafoxorkillingpoorbirds,andIneverheardofhisdoingasinglegreatactioninmylife.Andyet——'Fannywassoastoundedbythewayhersister-in-lawwenton,thatshehardlyknewhowtospeak.
　　'Heisanexcellentson,Ibelieve,'atlastshesaid.
　　'ExceptwhenhegoestoGatherumCastle.I'lltellyouwhathehas:hehasfinestraightlegs,andasmoothforehead,andagood-humouredeye,andwhiteteeth.Wasitpossibletoseesuchacatalogueofperfections,andnotfalldown,strickentotheverybone?Butitwasnotthatthatdiditall,Fanny.Icouldhavestoodagainstthat.IthinkIcouldatleast.Itwashistitlethatkilledme.Ihadneverspokentoalordbefore.Oh,me!whatafool,whatabeastIhavebeen!'Andthensheburstoutintotears.MrsRobarts,totellthetruth,couldhardlyunderstandpoorLucy'sailment.Itwasevidentenoughthathermiserywasreal;butyetshespokeofherselfandhersufferingswithsomuchirony,withsonearanapproachtojoking,thatitwasveryhardtotellhowfarshewasinearnest.Lucy,too,wassomuchgiventoaspeciesofbadinagewhichMrsRobartsdidnotalwaysquiteunderstand,thatthelatterwasafraidsometimestospeakoutwhatcameuppermosttohertongue.ButnowthatLucywasabsolutelyintears,andwasalmostbreathlesswithexcitement,shecouldnotremainsilentanylonger.'DearestLucy,praydonotspeakinthatway;itwillallcomeright.Thingsalwaysdocomerightwhennoonehasactedwrongly.'
　　'Yes,whennobodyhasdonewrongly.That'swhatpapausedtocallbeggingthequestion.ButI'lltellyouwhat,Fanny;Iwillnotbebeaten.Iwilleitherkillmyselforgetthroughit.Iamsoheartilyself-ashamedthatIoweittomyselftofightthebattleout.'
　　'Tofightwhatbattle,dearest?'
　　'Thisbattle.Here,now,atthepresentmomentIcouldnotmeetLordLufton.Ishouldhavetorunlikeascaredfowlifheweretoshowhimselfwithinthegate;andIshouldnotdaretogooutofthehouse,ifIknewthathewasintheparish.'
　　'Idon'tseethat,forIamsureyouhavenotbetrayedyourself.'
　　'Well,no;asformyself,IbelieveIhavedonethelyingandthehypocrisyprettywell.But,dearestFanny,youdon'tknowhalf;
　　andyoucannotandmustnotknow.'
　　'ButIthoughtyousaidtherehadbeennothingwhateverbetweenyou.'
　　'DidI?Well,toyouIhavenotsaidawordthatwasnottrue.I
　　saidthathehadspokennothingthatitwaswrongforhimtosay.
　　Itcouldnotbewrong——Butnevermind.I'lltellyouwhatImeantodo.Ihavebeenthinkingofitforthelastweek——onlyIshallhavetotellMark.'
　　'IfIwereyou,Iwouldtellhimall.'
　　'What,Mark!Ifyoudo,Fanny,I'llnever,never,neverspeaktoyouagain.Wouldyou——whenIhavegivenyouallmyheartintruesisterlylove?'MrsRobartshadtoexplainthatshehadnotproposedtotellanythingtoMarkherself,andwaspersuaded,moreover,togiveasolemnpromisethatshewouldnottellanythingtohimunlessspeciallyauthorizedtodoso.
　　'I'llgointoahome,Ithink,'continuedLucy.'Youknowwhatthesehomesare?'MrsRobartsassuredherthatsheknewverywell,andthenLucywenton:'AyearagoIshouldhavesaidthatIwasthelastgirlinEnglandtothinkofsuchalife,butIdobelievenowthatitwouldbethebestthingforme.AndthenI'llstarvemyself,andflogmyself,and,inthatwayI'llgetbackmyownmindandmyownsoul.'
　　'Yourownsoul,Lucy,'saidMrsRobarts,inatoneofhorror.
　　'Well,myownheart,ifyoulikeitbetter;butIhatetohearmyselftalkingabouthearts.Idon'tcareformyheart.I'dletitgo——withthispopinjaylordoranyoneelse,sothatIcouldread,andtalk,andwalk,andsleep,andeat,withoutalwaysfeelingthatIwaswronghere——here——here——'andshepressedherhandvehementlyagainstherside.'WhatisitthatIfeel,Fanny?
　　WhyamIsoweakinbodythatIcannottakeexercise?WhycannotI
　　keepmymindonabookforonemoment?WhycanInotwritetwosentencestogether?WhyshouldeverymouthfulthatIeatstickinmythroat?Oh,Fanny,isithislegs,thinkyou,orisithistitle?'Throughallhersorrow——andshewasverysorrowful——MrsRobartscouldnothelpsmiling.And,indeed,therewaseverynowandthensomethingeveninLucy'slookthatwasalmostcomic.Sheactedtheironysowellwithwhichshestrovetothrowridiculeonherself!'Dolaughatme,'shesaid.'Nothingonearthwilldomesomuchgoodasthat;nothing,unlessitbestarvationandawhip.
　　IfyouwouldonlytellmethatImustbeasneakandanidiottocareforamanbecauseheisgood-lookingandalord!'
　　'Butthathasnotbeenthereason.ThereisagreatdealmoreinLordLuftonthanthat;andsinceImustspeak,dearLucy,IcannotbutsaythatIshouldnotwonderatyourbeinginlovewithhim,only——onlythat——'
　　'Onlywhat?Come,outwithit.Donotmincematters,orthinkthatIshallbeangrywithyoubecauseyouscoldme.'
　　'OnlythatIshouldhavethoughtthatyouwouldhavebeentooguardedtohave——havecaredforanygentlemantill——tillhehadshownthathecaredforyou.'
　　'Guarded!Yes,that'sit;that'sjusttheword.Butit'shethatshouldhavebeenguarded.Heshouldhavehadafire-guardhungbeforehim,oralove-guard,ifyouwill.Guarded!WasInotguarded,tillyouallwoulddragmeout?DidIwanttogothere?
　　AndwhenIwasthere,didInotmakeafoolofmyself,sittinginacorner,andthinkinghowmuchbetterplacedIshouldhavebeendownintheservants'hall.LadyLufton——shedraggedmeout,andthencautionedme,andthen,then——WhyisLadyLuftontohaveitallherownway?WhyamItobesacrificedforher?IdidnotwanttoknowLadyLufton,oranyonebelongingtoher.'
　　'IcannotthinkthatyouhaveanycausetoblameLadyLufton,nor,perhaps,toblameanybodyverymuch.'
　　'Well,no,ithasbeenallmyownfault;though,forthelifeofme,Fanny,goingbackandback,IcannotseewhereItookthefirstfalsestep.IdonotknowwhereIwentwrong.OnewrongthingI
　　did,anditistheonlythingthatIdonotregret.'
　　'Whatwasthat,Lucy?'
　　'Itoldhimalie.'
　　MrsRobartswasaltogetherinthedark,andfeelingthatshewasso,sheknewthatshecouldnotgivecounselasafriendorsister.Lucyhadbegunbydeclaring——soMrsRobartsthought——thatnothinghadpassedbetweenherandLordLuftonbutwordsofmosttrivialimport,andyetshenowaccusedherselfoffalsehood,anddeclaredthatthatfalsehoodwastheonlythingwhichshedidnotregret!
　　'Ihopenot,'saidMrsRobarts.'Ifyoudid,youwereveryunlikeyourself.'
　　'ButIdid,andwerehehereagain,speakingtomeinthesameway,Ishouldrepeatit.IknowIshould.IfIdidnot,Ishouldhavealltheworldonme.Youwouldfrownonme,andbecold.MydarlingFanny,howwouldyoulookifIreallydispleasuredyou?'
　　'Idon'tthinkyouwilldothat,Lucy.'
　　'ButifItoldhimthetruth,Ishould,shouldInot?Speaknow.
　　Butno,Fanny,youneednotspeak.Itwasnotthefearofyou;no,norevenofher:thoughHeavenknowsthatherterribleglumnesswouldbequiteunendurable.'
　　'Icannotunderstandyou,Lucy.Whattruthorwhatuntruthcanyouhavetoldhim,if,asyousay,therehasbeennothingbetweenyoubutordinaryconversation?'
　　Lucythengotupfromthesofa,andwalkedtwicethelengthoftheroombeforeshespoke.MrsRobartshadalltheordinarycuriosity——Iwasgoingtosay,ofawoman,butImeantosay,ofhumanity;andshehad,moreover,alltheloveofasister.Shewasbothcuriousandanxious,andremainedsittingwhereshewas,silent,andhereyesfixedonhercompanion.'DidIsayso?'Lucysaidatlast.'No,Fanny,youhavemistakenme——Ididnotsaythat.Ah,yes,aboutthecowandthedog.Allthatwastrue.I
　　wastellingyouofwhathissoftwordshadbeenwhileIwasbecomingsuchafool.Sincethathehassaidmore.'
　　'Whatmorehashesaid,Lucy?'
　　'Iyearntotellyou,ifonlyIcantrustyou;'andLucykneltdownatthefeetofMrsRobarts,lookingupintoherfaceandsmilingthroughtheremainingdropsofhertears.'Iwouldfaintellyou,butIdonotknowyouyet——whetheryouarequitetrue.Icouldbetrue——trueagainstalltheworld,ifmyfriendtoldme.Iwilltellyou,Fanny,ifyousaythatyoucanbetrue.Butifyoudoubtyourself,ifyoumustwhisperalltoMark——thenletusbesilent.'
　　TherewassomethingalmostawfulinthistoMrsRobarts.Hitherto,sincetheirmarriage,hardlyathoughthadpassedthroughhermindwhichshehadnotsharedwithherhusband.Butnowallthishadcomeuponhersosuddenly,thatshewasunabletothinkwhetheritwouldbewellthatsheshouldbecomethedepositoryofsuchasecret——nottobementionedtoLucy'sbrother,nottobementionedtoherownhusband.Butwhoeveryetwasofferedasecretanddeclinedit?Whoatleasteverdeclinedalovesecret?Whatsistercoulddoso?MrsRobarts,therefore,gavethepromise,smoothingLucy'shairasshedidso,andkissingherforeheadandlookingintohereyes,which,likearainbow,werethebrighterforhertears.'Andwhathashesaidtoyou,Lucy?'
　　'What?Onlythis,thatheaskedmetobehiswife.'
　　'LordLuftonproposedtoyou?'
　　'Yes;heproposedtome.Itisnotcredible,isit?Youcannotbringyourselftobelievesuchathinghappened,canyou?'AndLucyroseagaintoherfeet,astheideaofthescornwithwhichshefeltotherswouldtreather——withwhichshehadtreatedherself——madethebloodrisetohercheek.'Andyetitisnotadream——Ithinkthatitisnotadream.Ithinkthathereallydid.'
　　'Think,Lucy!'
　　'Well,ImaysaythatIamsure.'
　　'Agentlemanwouldnotmakeyouaformalproposalandleaveyouindoubtastowhathemeant.'
　　'Ohdear,no.Therewasnodoubtatallofthatkind——noneintheleast.MrSmith,inaskingMissJonestodohimthehonourofbecomingMrsSmith,neverspokemoreplainly.Iwasalludingtothepossibilityofhavingdreamtitall.'
　　'Lucy!'
　　'Well,itwasnotadream.Here,standinghere,onthisveryspot——onthatflowerofthecarpet——hebeggedmeadozentimestobehiswife.IwonderwhetheryouandMarkwouldletmecutitoutandkeepit.'
　　'Andwhatanswerdidyoumaketohim?'
　　'Iliedtohim,andtoldhimthatIdidnotlovehim.'
　　'Yourefusedhim?''Yes;Irefusedalivelord.Thereissomesatisfactioninhavingthattothinkof,istherenot?Fanny,wasIwickedtotellthatfalsehood?'
　　'Andwhydidyourefusehim?'
　　'Why?Canyouask?ThinkofwhatitwouldhavebeentogodowntoFramleyCourt,andtotellherladyship,inthecourseofconversation,thatIwasengagedtoherson.ThinkofLadyLufton.Butyetitwasnotthat,Fanny.HadIthoughtthatitwasgoodforhim,thathewouldnothaverepented,Iwouldhavebravedanything——forhissake.Evenforyourfrown,foryouwouldhavefrowned.YouwouldhavethoughtitsacrilegeformetomarryLordLufton!Youknowyouwould.'
　　MrsRobartshardlyknewhowtosaywhatshethought,orindeedwhatsheoughttothink.Itwasamatteronwhichmuchmeditationwouldberequiredbeforeshecouldgiveadvice,andtherewasLucyexpectingcounselfromheratthatverymoment.IfLordLuftonreallylovedLucyRobarts,andwaslovedbyLucyRobarts,whyshouldnottheytwobecomemanandwife?Andyetshedidfeelthatitwouldbe——perhapsnotsacrilege,asLucyhadsaid,butsomethingalmostastroublesome.WhatwouldLadyLuftonsay,orthinkandfeel?Whatwouldshesay,andthink,andfeelastothatparsonagefromwhichsodeadlyablowwouldfalluponher?Wouldshenotaccusethevicarandthevicar'swifeoftheblackestingratitude?
　　WouldlifebeendurableatFramleyundersuchcircumstancesasthose?
　　'Whatyoutellmesosurprisesme,thatIhardlyasyetknowhowtospeakaboutit,'saidMrsRobarts.
　　'Itwasamazing,wasitnot?Hemusthavebeeninsaneatthetime;
　　therecanbenootherexcuseforhim.Iwonderwhetherthereisanythingofthatsortinthefamily?'
　　'What;madness?'saidMrsRobarts,quiteinearnest.
　　'Well,don'tyouthinkhemusthavebeenmadwhensuchanideaasthatcameintohishead?Butyoudon'tbelieveit;Icanseethat.Andyetitisastrueasheaven.Standingexactlyhere,onthisspot,hesaidthathewouldperseveretillIacceptedhislove.Iwonderwhatmademespeciallyobservethatbothhisfeetwerewithinthelinesofthatdivision.'
　　'Andyouwouldnotaccepthislove?'
　　'No;Iwouldhavenothingtosaytoit.Lookyou,Istoodhere,andputtingmyhanduponmyheart——forhebademedothat——IsaidthatIcouldnotlovehim.'
　　'Andwhatthen?'
　　'Hewentaway——withalookasthoughhewereheart-broken.Hecreptawayslowly,sayingthathewasthemostwretchedsoulalive.ForaminuteIbelievedhim,andcouldalmosthavecalledhimback;butno,Fanny,donotthinkthatIamoverproud,orconceitedaboutmyconquest.HehadnotreachedthegatebeforehewasthankingGodforhisescape.'
　　'ThatIdonotbelieve.'
　　'ButIdo;andIthoughtofLadyLuftontoo.HowcouldIbearthatsheshouldscornme,andaccusemeofstealingherson'sheart?I
　　knowthatitisbetterasitis;buttellme——isafalsehoodalwayswrong,orcanitbepossiblethattheendshouldjustifythemeans?OughtItohavetoldhimthetruth,andtohavelethimknowthatIcouldalmostkissthegroundonwhichhestood?'
　　ThiswasaquestionforthedoctorswhichMrsRobartswouldtakeuponherselftoanswer.Shewouldnotmakethatfalsehoodamatterofaccusation,butneitherwouldshepronounceforitanyabsolution.InthatmatterLucymustregulateherownconscience.
　　'AndwhatshallIdonext?'saidLucy,stillspeakinginatonethatwashalftragicandhalfjeering.
　　'Do?'saidMrsRobarts.
　　'Yes,somethingmustbedone.IfIwereaMediterraneanIshouldgotoSwitzerland,ofcourse;or,asthecaseisabadone,perhapsasfarasHungary.Whatisitthatgirlsdo?Theydon'tdienowadays,Ibelieve.'
　　'Lucy,Idonotbelievethatyoucareforhimonejot.Ifyouwereinloveyouwouldnotspeakofitlikethat.'
　　'There,there.That'smyonlyhope.IfIcouldlaughatmyselftillithadbecomeincredibletoyou,Ialso,bydegrees,shouldceasetobelievethatIhadcaredforhim.But,Fanny,itisveryhard.IfIweretostarve,andrisebeforedaybreak,andpinchmyself,ordosomenastywork,——cleanthepotsandpansandthecandlesticks;thatIthinkwoulddothemostgood.Ihavegotapieceofsack-cloth,andImeantowearthat,whenIhavemadeitup.'
　　'Youarejokingnow,Lucy,Iknow.'
　　'No,bymyword;notinthespiritofwhatIamsaying.HowshallIactuponmyheart,ifIdonotgothroughthebloodandflesh?'
　　'DoyounotpraythatGodwillgiveyoustrengthtobearthesetroubles?'
　　'Buthowisonetowordone'sprayer,orhoweventowordone'swishes?IdonotknowwhatisthewrongthatIhavedone.Isayitboldly;inthismatterIcannotseemyownfault.IhavesimplyfoundthatIhavebeenafool.'
　　Itwasnowquitedarkintheroom,orwouldhavebeensotoanyoneenteringafresh.Theyhadremainedtheretalkingtilltheireyeshadbecomeaccustomedtothegloom,andwouldstillhaveremained,hadtheynotsuddenlybeendisturbedbythesoundofahorse'sfeet.
　　'ThereisMark,'saidFanny,jumpingupandrunningtothebell,thatlightsmightbereadywhenheshouldenter.
　　'IthoughtheremainedinBarchesterto-night.'
　　'AndsodidI;buthesaiditmightbedoubtful.Whatshallwedoifhehasnotdined?'That,Ibelieve,isalwaysthefirstthoughtinthemindofagoodwifewhenherhusbandreturnshome.Hashehadhisdinner?WhatcanIgivehimfordinner?Willhelikehisdinner?Ohdear,ohdear!thereisnothinginthehousebutcoldmutton.Butonthisoccasionthelordofthemansionhaddined,andcamehomeradiantwithgoodhumour,andowing,perhaps,alittleofhisradiancetothedean'sclaret.'Ihavetoldthem,'
　　saidhe,'thattheymaykeeppossessionofthehouseforthenexttwomonths,andtheyhaveagreedtothatarrangement.'
　　'Thatisverypleasant,'saidMrsRobarts.
　　'AndIdon'tthinkweshallhavesomuchtroubleaboutthedilapidationafterall.'
　　'Iamverygladofthat,'saidMrsRobarts.ButneverthelessshewasthinkingmoreofLucythanofthehouseinBarchesterClose.
　　'Youwon'tbetrayme,'saidLucy,asshegavehersister-in-lawapartingkissatnight.
　　'No;notunlessyougivemepermission.'
　　'Ah;Ishallneverdothat.'
　　CHAPTERXXVII
　　SOUTHAUDLEYSTREET
　　TheDukeofOmniumhadnotifiedtoMrFothergillhiswishthatsomearrangementshouldbemadeabouttheChaldicotesmortgages,andMrFothergillhadunderstoodwhatthedukemeantaswellasthoughhisinstructionshadbeenwrittendownwithallalawyer'sverbosity.
　　Theduke'smeaningwasthis,thatChaldicoteswastobesweptupandgarnered,andmadepartandparceloftheGatherumproperty.IthadseemedtothedukethatthataffairbetweenhisfriendandMissDunstablewashangingfire,and,therefore,itwouldbewellthatChaldicotesshouldbesweptupandgarnered.And,moreover,tidingshadcomeintothewesterndivisionofthecountythatyoungFrankGreshamofBoxallHillwasintreatywiththeGovernmentforthepurchaseofallthatCrownpropertycalledtheChaceofChaldicotes.Ithadbeenofferedtotheduke,butthedukehadgivennodefiniteanswer.HadhegothismoneybackfromMrSowerbyhecouldhaveforestalledMrGresham;butnowthatdidnotseemtobeprobable,andhisgraceresolvedthateithertheonepropertyortheothershouldbegarnered.ThereforeMrFothergillwentuptotown,andthereforeMrSowerbywas,mostunwillingly,compelledtohaveabusinessinterviewwithMrFothergill.Inthemeantime,sincelastwesawhim,MrSowerbyhadlearnedfromhissistertheanswerwhichMissDunstablehadgiventohisproposition,andknewthathehadnofurtherhopeinthatdirection.Therewasnofurtherhopethenceofabsolutedeliverance,buttherehadbeenatenderofmoneyservice.TogiveMrSowerbyhisdue,hehadatoncedeclaredthatitwouldbequiteoutofthequestionthatheshouldnowreceiveanyassistanceofthatsortfromMissDunstable;buthissisterhadexplainedtohimthatitwouldbemerebusinesstransaction;thatMissDunstablewouldreceiveherinterest;andthat,ifshewouldbecontentwithfourpercent,whereasthedukereceivedfive,andothercreditorssix,seven,eight,ten,andHeavenonlyknowshowmuchmore,itmightbewellforallparties.He,himself,understood,aswellasFothergillhaddone,whatwasthemeaningoftheduke'smessage.
　　Chaldicoteswastobegatheredandgarnered,ashadbeendonewithsomanyanotherfairpropertylyinginthoseregions.Itwastobeswallowedwhole,andthemasterwastowalkoutfromhisoldfamilyhall,toleavetheoldwoodsthatheloved,togiveuputterlytoanothertheparksandpaddocksandpleasantplaceswhichhehadknownfromhisearliestinfancy,andownedfromhisearliestmanhood.
　　Therecanbenothingmorebittertoamanthansuchasurrender.
　　What,comparedtothis,canbethelossofwealthtoonewhohashimselfmadeit,andbroughtittogether,buthasneveractuallyseenitwithhisbodilyeyes?Suchwealthhascomebyonechance,andgoesbyanother:thelossofitispartofthegamewhichthemanisplaying;andifhecannotloseaswellaswin,heisapoor,weak,cowardlycreature.Suchmen,asarule,doknowhowtobearamindfairlyequaltoadversity.Buttohavesquanderedtheacreswhichhavedescendedfromgenerationtogeneration;tobethememberofone'sfamilythathasruinedthatfamily;tohaveswallowedupinone'sownmawallthatshouldhavegracedone'schildren,andone'sgrandchildren!Itseemstomethatthemisfortunesofthisworldcanhardlygobeyondthat!MrSowerby,inspiteofhisrecklessnessandthatdare-devilgaietywhichheknewsowellhowtowearanduse,feltallthisaskeenlyasanymancouldfeelit.Ithadbeenabsolutelyhisownfault.Theacreshadcometohimallhisown,andnow,beforehisdeath,everyoneofthemwouldhavegonebodilyintothatgreedymaw.Thedukehadboughtupnearlyallthedebtswhichhadbeensecuredupontheproperty,andnowcouldmakeacleansweepofit.Sowerby,whenhereceivedthatmessagefromMrFothergill,knewwellthatthiswasintended;andheknewwellalso,thatwhenonceheshouldceasetobeMrSowerbyofChaldicotes,heneedneveragainhopetobereturnedasmemberforWestBarsetshire.Thisworldwouldforhimbeallover.Andwhatmustsuchamanfeelwhenhereflectsthatthisworldforhimisallover?Onthemorninginquestionhewenttohisappointment,stillbearingacheerycountenance.MrFothergill,whenintownonsuchbusinessasthis,alwayshadaroomathisserviceinthehouseofMessrsGumption&Gagebee,theduke'sLondonlawagents,anditwasthitherthatMrSowerbyhadbeensummoned.ThehouseofbusinessofMessrsGumption&GagebeewasinSouthAudleyStreet;anditmaybesaidthattherewasnospotonthewholeearthwhichMrSowerbyhatedashedidthegloomy,dingybacksitting-roomupstairsinthathouse.Hehadbeenthereveryoften,buthadneverbeentherewithoutannoyance.
　　Itwasahorridtorture-chamber,keptforsuchdreadpurposesasthese,andnodoubthadbeenfurnished,andpapered,andcurtainedwiththeexpressobjectoffinallybreakingdownthespiritsofsuchpoorcountrygentlemenaschancedtobeinvolved.Everythingwasofabrowncrimson,——ofacrimsonthathadbecomebrown.
　　Sunlight,realgeniallightofthesun,nevermadeitswaythere,andnoamountofcandlescouldilluminatethegloomofthatbrownness.Thewindowswereneverwashed;theceilingwasofadarkbrown;theoldTurkeycarpetwasthickwithdust,andbrownwithal.Theungainlyoffice-table,inthemiddleoftheroom,hadbeencoveredwithblackleather,butthatwasnowbrown.Therewasabookcasefullofdingybrownlawbooksinarecessononesideofthefireplace,butnoonehadtouchedthemforyears,andoverthechimney-piecehungsomeoldlegalpedigreetable,blackwithsoot.
　　SuchwastheroomwhichMrFothergillalwaysusedinthebusinesshouseofMessrsGumption&Gagebee,inSouthAudleyStreet,neartoParkLane.
　　Ionceheardthisroomspokenofbyanoldfriendofmine,oneMrGreshamofGreshambury,thefatherofFrankGresham,whowasnowabouttopurchasethatpartoftheChaceofChaldicoteswhichbelongedtotheCrown.Healsohadhadevildays,thoughnowhappilytheywerepastandgone;andhe,too,hadsatinthatroom,andlistenedtothevoiceofmenwhowerepowerfuloverhisproperty,andintendedtousethatpower.TheideawhichheleftonmymindwasmuchthesameasthatwhichIhadentertained,whenaboy,ofacertainroominthecastleofUdolpho.TherewasachairinthatUdolphoroominwhichthosewhosatweredraggedoutlimbbylimb,theheadonewayandthelegsanother;thefingersweredraggedofffromthehands,andtheteethoutfromthejaws,andthehairoffthehead,andthefleshfromthebones,andthejointsfromtheirsockets,tilltherewasnothingleftbutalifelesstrunkseatedinthechair.MrGresham,ashetoldme,alwayssatinthesameseat,andthetorturesweresufferedwhensoseated,thedislocationsofhispropertywhichhewasforcedtodiscuss,theoperationsofhisveryselfwhichhewasforcedtowitness,mademeregardthatroomasworsethanthechamberofUdolpho.He,luckily——arareinstanceofgoodfortune——hadlivedtoseeallhisbonesandjointsputtogetheragain,andflourishingsoundly;buthenevercouldspeakoftheroomwithouthorror.'Noconsiderationonearth,'heoncesaidtome,verysolemnly,——'Isaynone,shouldmakemeagainenterthatroom.'Andindeedthisfeelingwassostrongwithhim,thatfromthedaywhenhisaffairstookaturnhewouldneverevenwalkdownSouthAudleyStreet.Onthemorninginquestionintothistorture-chamberMrSowerbywent,andthere,aftersometwoorthreeminutes,hewasjoinedbyMrFothergill.
　　MrFothergillwas,inonerespect,liketohisfriendSowerby.Heenactedtwotogetherdifferentpersonsonoccasionswhichwerealtogetherdifferent.Generallyspeaking,withtheworldatlarge,hewasajolly,rollicking,popularman,fondofeatinganddrinking,knowntobedevotedtotheduke'sinterests,andsupposedtobesomewhatunscrupulous,oratanyratehard,whentheywereconcerned;butinotherrespectsagood-naturedfellow:andtherewasareportaboutthathehadoncelentsomebodymoney,withoutcharginghiminterestortakingsecurity.OnthepresentoccasionSowerbysawataglancethathehadcomethitherwithalltheaptitudesandappurtenancesofhisbusinessabouthim.Hewalkedintotheroomwithashort,quickstep;therewasnosmileonhisfaceasheshookhandswithhisoldfriend;hebroughtwithhimaboxladenwithpapersandparchments,andhehadnotbeenaminuteintheroombeforehewasseatedinoneoftheolddingychairs.
　　'Howlonghaveyoubeenintown,Fothergill?'saidSowerby,stillstandingwithhisbackagainstthechimney.Hehadresolvedononlyonething——thatnothingshouldinducehimtotouch,lookat,orlistentoanyofthosepapers.Heknewwellenoughthatnogoodwouldcomeofthat.Healsohadhisownlawyers,toseethathewaspilferedaccordingtorule.
　　'Howlong?Sincethedaybeforeyesterday.Ineverwassobusyinmylife.Theduke,asusual,wantstohaveeverythingdoneatonce.'
　　'IfhewantstohaveallthatIowehimpaidatonce,heisliketobeoutinhisreckoning.'
　　'Ah,well;I'mgladyouarereadytocomequicklytobusiness,becauseit'salwaysbest.Won'tyoucomeandsitdownhere?'
　　'No,thankyou.I'llstand.'
　　'Butweshallhavetogothroughthesefigures,youknow.'
　　'Notafigure,Fothergill.Whatgoodwoulditdo?Nonetome,andnonetoyoueither,asItakeit.Ifthereisanythingwrong,Potter'sfellowswillfinditout.Whatisitthedukewants?'
　　'Well;totellthetruth,hewantshismoney.'
　　'Inonesense,andthatthemainsense,hehasgotit.Hegetshisinterestregularly,doesnothe?'
　　'Prettywellforthat,seeinghowtimesare.But,Sowerby,that'sanonsense.YouunderstandthedukeaswellasIdo,andyouknowverywellwhathewants.Hehasgivenyoutime,andifyouhadtakenanystepstowardsgettingthemoney,youmighthavesavedtheproperty.'
　　'Ahundredandeightythousandpounds!WhatstepscouldItaketogetthat?Flyabill,andletTozerhaveittogetcashonitintheCity!'
　　'Wehopedyouweregoingtomarry.'
　　'That'salloff.'
　　'ThenIdon'tthinkyoucanblamethedukeforlookingforhisown.Itdoesnotsuithimtohavesolargeasumstandingoutanylonger.Yousee,hewantsland,andwillhaveit.Hadyoupaidoffwhatyouowedhim,hewouldhavepurchasedtheCrownproperty;
　　andnow,itseemsyoungGreshamhasbidagainsthim,andistohaveit.Thishasriledhim,andImayaswelltellyoufairly,thatheisdeterminedtohaveeithermoneyormarbles.'
　　'YoumeanthatIamtobedispossessed.ThenImustsaythedukeistreatingmemostuncommonlyill.'
　　'Well,Sowerby,Ican'tseeit.'
　　'Ican,though.Hehashismoneylikeclock-work;andhehasboughtupthesedebtsfrompersonswhowouldhaveneverdisturbedmeaslongastheygottheirinterest.'
　　'Haven'tyouhadtheseat?'
　　'Theseat!anditisexpectedthatIamtopayforthat?'
　　'Idon'tseethatanyoneisaskingyoutopayforit.YouarelikeagreatmanyotherpeoplethatIknow.Youwanttoeatyourcakeandhaveit.Youhavebeeneatingitforthelasttwentyyears,andnowyouthinkyourselfveryill-usedbecausethedukewantstohavehisturn.'
　　'Ishallthinkmyselfveryill-usedifhesellsmeout——worsethanill-used.Idonotwanttousestronglanguage,butitwillbemorethanill-usage.Icanhardlybelievethathereallymeanstotreatmeinthatway.'
　　'Itisveryhardthatheshouldwanthisownmoney!'
　　'Itisnothismoneyhewants.Itismyproperty.'
　　'Andhashenotpaidforit?Haveyounothadthepriceofyourproperty?Now,Sowerby,itisofnouseforyoutobeangry;youhaveknownforthelastthreeyearswhatwascomingonyouaswellasIdid.Whyshouldthedukelendyoumoneywithoutanobject?
　　Ofcoursehehashisownviews.ButIdosaythis;hehasnothurriedyou;andhadyoubeenabletodoanythingtosavetheplaceyoumighthavedoneit.Youhavehadtimeenoughtolookaboutyou.'
　　Sowerbystillstoodintheplaceinwhichhehadfirstfixedhimself,andnowforawhileheremainedsilent.Hisfacewasverystern,andtherewasinhiscountenancenoneofthosewinninglookswhichoftentoldsopowerfullywithhisyoungfriends,——whichhadcaughtLordLuftonandhadcharmedMarkRobarts.Theworldwasgoingagainsthim,andthingsaroundhimwerecomingtoanend.Hewasbeginningtoperceivethathehadintrutheatenhiscakeandthattherewasnowlittleleftforhimtodo,——unlesshechosetoblowouthisbrains.HehadsaidtoLordLuftonthataman'sbackshouldbebroadenoughforanyburdenwithwhichhehimselfmightloadit.Couldhenowboastthathisbackwasbroadenoughandstrongenoughforthisburden?Buthehadeventhen,atthatbittermoment,astrongremembrancethatitbehovedhimstilltobeaman.Hisfinalruinwascomingonhim,andhewouldsoonbesweptawayoutoftheknowledgeandmemoryofthosewithwhomhehadlived.But,nevertheless,hewouldbearhimselfwelltothelast.Itwastruethathehadmadehisownbed,andheunderstoodthejusticewhichrequiredhimtolieuponit.
　　DuringthistimeFothergilloccupiedhimselfwiththepapers.Hecontinuedtoturnoveronesheetafteranother,asthoughheweredeeplyengagedinmoneyconsiderationsandcalculations.But,intruth,duringallthattimehedidnotreadaword.Therewasnothingthereforhimtoread.Thereadingandwriting,andthearithmeticinsuchmatters,aredonebyunderlings——notbysuchbigmenasMrFothergill.HisbusinesswastotellSowerbythathewastogo.Allthoserecordstherewereoflittleuse.Thedukehadthepower;Sowerbyknewthedukehadthepower;andFothergill'sbusinesswastoexplainthatthedukemeanttoexercisehispower.
　　Hewasusedtothework,andwentonturningoverthepapersandpretendingtoreadthem,asthoughhisdoingsowereofthegreatestmoment.'Ishallseethedukemyself,'MrSowerbysaidatlast,andtherewassomethingalmostdreadfulinthesoundofhisvoice.
　　'Youknowthedukewon'tseeyouonamatterofthiskind.Heneverspeakstoanyoneaboutmoney;youknowthataswellasIdo.'
　　'By——,butheshallspeaktome.Neverspeaktoanyoneaboutmoney!Whyisheashamedtospeakofitwhenhelovesitsodearly?Heshallseeme.'
　　'Ihavenothingfurthertosay,Sowerby.OfcourseIshan'taskhisgracetoseeyou;andifyouforceyourwayinonhim,youknowwhatwillhappen.Itwon'tbemydoingifheissetagainstyou.
　　Nothingthatyousaytomeinthatway,——nothingthatanybodyeversays,——goesbeyondmyself.'
　　'Ishallmanagethematterthroughmyownlawyer,'saidSowerby;
　　andthenhetookhishat,and,withoututteringanotherword,lefttheroom.
　　Weknownotwhatmaybethenatureofthateternalpunishmenttowhichthosewillbedoomedwhoshallbejudgedtohavebeeneviltothelast;butmethinksthatnomoreterribletormentcanbedevisedthanthememoryofself-imposedruin.Whatwretchednesscanexceedthatofrememberingfromdaytodaythattheracehasbeenallrun,andhasbeenaltogetherlost;thatthelastchancehasgone,andhasgoneinvain;thattheendhascome,andwithitdisgrace,contempt,andself-scorn——disgracethatnevercanberedeemed,contemptthatnevercanberemoved,andself-scornthatwilleatintoone'svitalsforever?MrSowerbywasnowfifty;hehadenjoyedthechancesinlife;andashewalkedback,upSouthAudleyStreet,hecouldnotbutthinkoftheuseshehadmadeofthem.Hehadfallenintothepossessionofafinepropertyontheattainmentofmanhood;hehadbeenendowedwithmorethanaveragegiftsofintellect;never-failinghealthhadbeengiventohim,andavisionfairlyclearindiscerninggoodfromevil;andnowtowhatapasshehadbroughthimself!AndthatmanFothergillhadputallthisbeforehiminsoterriblyclearalight!Nowthatthedayforhisfinaldemolishmenthadarrived,thenecessitythatheshouldbedemolished——finishedawayatonce,outofsightandoutofmind——hadnotbeensoftened,or,asitwere,halfhidden,byanyambiguousphrase.'Youhavehadyourcake,andeatenit——eatenitgreedily.Isnotthatsufficientforyou?Wouldyoueatyourcaketwice?Wouldyouhaveasuccessionofcakes?No,myfriend;thereisnosuccessionofthesecakesforthosewhoeatthemgreedily.
　　Yourpropositionisnotafairone,andwewhohavethewhip-handofyouwillnotlistentoit.Begoodenoughtovanish.Permityourselftobesweptquietlyintothedunghill.Allthattherewasaboutyouofvaluehasdepartedfromyou;andallowmetosaythatyouarenow——rubbish.'Andthentheruthlessbesomcomeswithirresistiblerush,andtherubbishissweptawayintothepit,theretobehiddenforeverfromthelight.Andthepityofitisthis——thataman,ifhewillonlyrestrainhisgreed,mayeathiscakeandyethaveit;aye,andinsodoingwillhavetwicemoretheflavourofthecakethanhewhowithgourmandizingmawwilldevourhisdaintyallatonce.Cakesinthisworldwillgrowbybeingfedon,ifonlythefeederbenottooinsatiate.OnallwhichwisdomMrSowerbyponderedwithsadheartandverymelancholymindashewalkedawayfromthepremisesofMessrsGumption&Gagebee.HisintentionhadbeentogodowntotheHouseafterleavingMrFothergill,buttheprospectofimmediateruinhadbeentoomuchforhim,andheknewthathewasnotfittobeseenatonceamongthehauntsofmen.AndhehadintendedalsotogodowntoBarchesterearlyonthefollowingmorning——onlyforafewhours,thathemightmakefurtherarrangementsrespectingthatbillwhichRobartshadacceptedforhim.Thatbill——thesecondone——hadnowbecomedue,andMrTozerhadbeenwithhim.