WhenIrun'emdownthat-a-way，shesaystotheblindallthingsisblind，andifIhadanychivalryintomemyselfI'dofseentheywasn'tjestdernfools，butnoble，andseeniteasy。Andshesighed，likeshe'dlookedfurbetterthingsfromme。WhenIhearnherdothatIfeltsorryIhadn'tcomeuptoherexpectances。SoIsays：
　　“Martha，it'snousepertendingIcouldstayinoneofthemjailsandkeephappyatit。Igottobeoutdoors。ButItellyouwhatIcando，ifitwillmakeyoufeelanybetter。IfIeverhappentorunacrostthishereDavidArmstrong，andheisanywheresnearmysize，I'lllickhimfuryou。
　　Andifhe'stooheftyfurmetolickhimfair，“I
　　says，“andIgetagoodchancetIwillhithimwithapieceofrailroadironfuryou。“
　　Ofcourse，IknowedIwouldneverfindhim。ButwhatIsaidseemedtobrightenherupalittle。
　　“But，“saysI，“ifIwenttoofurwithit，andwashungfurit，howwouldyoufeelthen，Martha？”
　　Well，sir，thatdidn'tjarMarthanone。Shelookedkindofdreamyandsaidmebbyshewouldgoandjineaconventandbeanun。AndwhenshegottobetheheadnunshewouldbuildachapeloverthetombwhereIwasburiedin。Andeveryyear，onthedayofthemonthIwashungon，shewouldleadalltheothernunsintothatchapel，andtheorganwouldplaymournful，andeachnunaspassedwouldlaydownabunchofwhiterosesontomytomb。Ireckonthatortermademefeelgood，butsomehowitdidn't。
　　SoIchangedthesubject，andastsherwhyIain'tseenMissHamptonaroundtheplacenone。Marthasaysshehasabadsickheadacheandain'tbeenoutsidethehousefurfourorfivedays。Iastsherwhyshedon'twaitonher。Butshedon'twantherto，Marthasays。She'sbeenstayinginthehouseeversincewebeenintown，andjestwantstobeletalone。Ithinksallthatiskindoffunny。AndthenIseenfromthewayMarthaisansweringmyquestionsthatsheisholdingbacksomethingshewouldliketotell，butdon'tthinksheortertell。Ileavesheraloneandpurtysoonshesays：
　　“Doyoubelieveinghosts？”
　　ItellhersometimesIthinkIdon'tbelievein'em，andsometimesIthinkIdo，butanyhowIwouldhatetoseeone。Iastsherwhydoessheast。
　　“Because，“shesays，“because——butIhadn'toughttotellyou。“
　　“It'sdaylight，“Isays；“it'snousebeingscaredtotellnow。“
　　“Itain'tthat，“shesays，“butit'sasecret。“
　　Whenshesaiditwasasecret，Iknowedshewouldtell。Marthalikedhavingherfriendshelphertokeepasecret。
　　“IthinkMissHamptonhasseenone，“shesays，finally，“andthatherstayingindoorshassomethingtodowiththat。“
　　Thenshetellsme。Thenightofthedayafterwecampedthere，herandMissHamptonwasoutfurawalk。Wedidn'thaveanyshowthatnight。
　　Theypassedrightbyourcamp，andtheyseenustherebythefire，allthreeofus。Buttheywasintheroadinthedark，andwewasallinthelight，sononeofthethreeofusseenthem。MissHamptonwaskindofscaredofus，firstglance，furshegaspedandgrabbedholtofMartha'sarmallofasuddensotightshepinchedit。Whichitwasverynatcheralthatshewouldbestartled，comingacrossthreestrangemenallofasuddenatnightaroundaturnintheroad。Theywentalonghome，andMarthawentinsideandlightedalamp，butMissHamptonlingeredontheporchfuraminute。JestasshelitthelampMarthahearnanotherlittlegasp，orkindofsigh，fromMissHamptonoutthereontheporch。Thentheywasthesoundofherfallingdown。Martharanoutwiththelamp，andshewaslayingthere。Shehadfaintedandkeeledover。
　　MarthasaidjestintheminuteshehadleftheraloneontheporchwaswhenMissHamptonmustofseentheghost。Marthabrungherto，andshewaslookingpuzzledandwild-likebothtooncet。
　　Marthaastsherwhatisthematter。
　　“Nothing，“shesays，rubbingherfingersoverherforeheadinahelplesskindofway，“nothing。“
　　“Youlooklikeyouhadseenaghost，“Marthatellsher。
　　MissHamptonlooksatMarthaawfulfunny，andthenshesaysmebbysheHASseenaghost，andgoesalongupstairstobed。Andsincethensheain'tbeenoutofthehouse。ShetellsMarthaitisasickheadache，butMarthasayssheknowsitain't。Shethinkssheisscaredofsomething。
　　“Scared？”Isays。“Shewouldn'tseenomoreghostsinthedaytime。“
　　MarthasayshowdoIknowshewouldn't？Sheknowsalotaboutghostsofallkinds，Marthadoes。
　　Horsesanddogscanseethemeasierthanhumans，eveninthedaytime，anditmakestheirhairstandupwhentheydo。Butsomehumansthathavethegiftcanseetheminthedaytimelikeananimal。
　　AndMarthaastsmehowcanItellbutMissHamp-
　　tonislikethat？
　　“Well，then，“Isays，“shemustbeawitch。
　　Andifsheisawitchwhyisshescaredofthema-tall？”
　　ButMarthasaysifyouhavesecondsightyoudon'tneedtobeawitchtoseethemintheday-
　　time。
　　Well，youcannevertellaboutthemghosts。
　　Somesaysonethingandsomesaysanother。OldMis'Primrose，inourtown，shealwaysbelievedin'emfirmtillherhusbanddied。Whenhewasdyingtheyfixedituphewastocomebackandvisither。
　　Shetoldhimhehadto，andhepromised。Andsheleftthefrontdooropenfurhimnightafternightfurnighayear，inallkindsofweather；butPrim-
　　rosenevercome。Mis'Primrosesaysheneverliedtoher，andhealwaysdonejestasshetoldhim，andifhecouldofcomesheknowedhewould；
　　andwhenhedidn'tshequitbelievinginghosts。
　　Buttheywasothersinourtownsaiditdidn'tprovenothingatall。TheysaidPrimrosehadreallybeenlyingtoherallhislife，becauseshewassobossyhehadtolietokeeppeaceinthefambly，andsheneverketchedon。Well，ifIwasaghostandhadofbeenMis'Primrose'shusbandwhenIwasahuman，Iwouldn'tofcomebackneither，evenifshehadofbully-raggedmeintooneofthemdeath-bedpromises。IguessPrimrosefiggeredhehadearntarest。
　　Iftheyisghosts，whatcomforttheycangetoutofcomingbackwheretheyain'twantedandscaringfolksismore'nIcansee。It'skindoflowdown，Ithink，andfoolishtoo。Themkindofghostsislikethesehereovergrownsmartalecsthatscareskids。Theythinktheyaremightycute，buttheyain't。Theyarejestfoolish。Ahuman，oraghosteither，thatdoesthingslikethatisjestsimplygotnoprincipletohim。Ihearnalotoftalkabout'em，firstandlast，andIain'treadytosaytheyain'tnoghosts，noryetreadytosaytheyisany。Tosaytheyisanyistosaysomethingthatistooplumbunlikely。Andtoomanypeoplehassawthemfurmetosaytheyain'tany。Butiftheyis，ortheyain't，sofurasIcansee，itdon'tmakemuchdifference。Furtheyneverdonothing，besidesscaringyou，excepttorapontablesandtellfortunes，andsuchfoolthings。Whichahumancandoitallbetterandsavetheexpenseofpayingmoneytooneoftheseheresperritmediumsthattravelsaroundandmakes'emperform。ButallthesametheyhasbeennightsIhasfeltdifferentabout'emmyself，andlesshastytorun'emdown。
　　Well，itdon'tdonogoodtospeakharshofnoone，notevenaghostoraordinarydeadman，andifI
　　wastoseeaghost，mebbyIwouldbeallthescarederfurwhatIhavejestwrote。
　　Well，withallthetalkingbackandforthwedoneaboutthemghostswecouldn'tagree。Thatafter-
　　noonitseemedlikewecouldn'tagreeaboutany-
　　thing。Iknowedwewouldbegoingawayfromtherebeforelong，andIsaystomyselfbeforeI
　　goI'mgoingtohavethatgirlfurmygirl，orelseknowthereasonwhy。NomatterwhatIwastalkingabout，thatideawasinthebackofmyhead，andsomehowitkindofmademewanttopickfusseswithher，too。Wewassettingonalog，purtydeepintothewoods，andtherecomeatimewhenneitherofushadsaidnothingfurquiteaspell。ButafterawhileIsays：
　　“Martha，we'llbegoingawayfromhereintwo，threedaysnow。“
　　Sheneversaidnothing。
　　“Willyoubesorry？”Iastsher。
　　Shesaysshewillbesorry。
　　“Well，“Isays，“WHYwillyoubesorry？”
　　Ithoughtshewouldsaybecause_I_wasgoing。
　　AndthenIwouldbefindingoutwhethershelikedmealot。Butshesaysthereasonshewillbesorryisbecausetherewillbenoonenewtotalktoaboutthingsbothhasread。Iwasconsiderabletookdownwhenshesaidthat。
　　“Martha，“Isays，“it'smore'nlikelyIwon'tneverseeyouaginafterIgoaway。“
　　Shesaysthatkindofpartingcomesbetweenthebestoffriends。
　　IseenIwasn'tgettingalongveryfast，norsayingwhatIwantedtosay。IreckononeofthemSirMarmelukefellerswouldofknowedwhattosay。OrDoctorKirbywould。OrmebbyevenLooeywouldofsaiditbetterthanIcould。SoI
　　waskindofmadwithmyself，andIsays，mean-like：
　　“Ifyoudon'tcare，ofcourse，Idon'tcare，neither。“
　　Sheneveransweredthat，soIgetsupandmakeslikeIamstartingoff。
　　“IwasgoingtogiveyousomeofthemthereInjunfeathersofminetoremembermeby，“Itellsher，“butifyoudon'twant'em，there'splentyofotherswouldbegladtotake'em。“
　　Butshesaysshewouldliketohavethem。
　　“Well，“Isays，“Iwillbringthemtoyouto-
　　morrowafternoon。“
　　Shesays，“Thankyou。“
　　FinallyIcouldn'tstanditnolonger。Igotbraveallofasudden，andbustedout：“Martha，I——I——I——“
　　ButIgottostuttering，andmybravenessstut-
　　tereditselfaway。AndIfinishesupbysaying：
　　“Ilikeyouahulllot，Martha。“Whichwasn'tjestexactlywhatIhadplannedfurtosay。
　　Martha，shesaysshekindoflikesme，too。
　　“Martha，“Isays，“Ilikeyoumore'nanygirlIeverrunacrostbefore。“
　　Shesays，“Thankyou，“agin。Thewayshesaiditriledmeup。Shesaiditlikeshedidn'tknowwhatImeant，norwhatIwastryingtogetoutofme。Butshedidknowallthetime。I
　　knowedshedid。SheknowedIknowedit，too。
　　Gosh-dernit，Isaystomyself，hereIamwastingallthistimejestTALKINGtoher。Therightthingtodocometomeallofasudden，andliketotookmybreathaway。ButIdoneit。IgrabbedherandIkissedher。
　　Twice。Andthenagin。Becausethefirstwasonthechinonaccountofherjerkingherheadback。Andthesecondoneshedidn'thelpmenone。
　　Butthethirdtimeshehelpedmealittle。Andtheonesafterthatshehelpedmeconsiderable。
　　Well，theyain'tnousetryingtotalkabouttherestofthatafternoon。Icouldn'trightlydescribeitifIwantedto。AndIreckonit'snoneofany-
　　body'sbusiness。
　　Well，itmakesyoufeelkindoffunny。Youwanttogooutandpickonsomebodyaboutfoursizesbigger'nyouareandknockthesocksoff'nhim。Itstandstoreasonothershasfeltthat-a-way，butyoudon'tbelieveit。Youwanttotellpeopleaboutitoneminute。Thenextminuteyouhavegotchillsandaguefurfearsomeonewillguessit。
　　Andyouthinkthewayyouareaboutherisgoingtolastfuralways。
　　Thatevening，whenIwascookingsupper，I
　　laughedeverytimeIwasspoketo。WhenLooeyandIwashitchinguptodrivedowntowntogivetheshow，oneofthehossessteppedonhisfootandIlaughedatthat，andtherewaspurtynighafight。
　　AndIwashandlingsomebottlesandbrokeoneandcutmyhandonapieceofglass。Ihelditoutfuraminutedumb-like，withthebloodandmedicinedrippingoffofit，andallofasuddenI
　　bustedoutlaughingagin。ThedoctorastsifIamcrazy。AndLooeysayshehasthoughtIwasfromtheveryfirst，andsomenighthimandthedoctorwillbekilledwhilstasleep。OneofthethingswehaveeverynightintheshowisanInjundance，andLooeyandIsingswhatthedoctorcallstheSiwashwarchant，whirlingroundandroundeachother，andmakinglicksateachotherwithourtommyhawks，andlettingoutsuddenwildyipsinthemidstofthatchant。ThatnightIliketoofkilledLooeywiththattommyhawk，Iwasfeelingsogood。Ifithadbeenarealone，insteadofpainted-upwood，IwouldofkilledLooey，thelickIgivehim。
　　Theworstpartofthatwasthat，aftertheshow，whenwegotbacktocampandthehosseswaspicketedoutfurthenight，IhadtotellLooeyallabouthowIfeltfuranexplanationofwhyIhithim。
　　WhichitmadeLooeyrightlowinhissperrits，andheshakeshisheadandsaysnogoodwillcomeofit。
　　“DidyoueverhearofRomeoandJoliet？”hesays：
　　“Mebby，“Isays，“butwhatitwasIhearnI
　　can'tremember。Whataboutthem？”
　　“Well，“hesays，“theycarriedonthesameasyou。Andnowwherearethey？”
　　“Well，“Isays，“wherearethey？”
　　“Inthetomb，“saysLooey，verysad，liketheywasclostepersonalfriendsofhis'n。AndhetoldmeallaboutthemandhowYoungCobalthaddonefurthem。ButfromwhatIcouldmakeoutitallhappenedawaybackintheearlydays。Andshucks！——Ididn'tcareadern，anyhow。Itoldhimso。
　　“Well，“hesays，“It'sbeenthehistoryoftheworldthatitbringstrouble。“AndhesaystolookatDamonandPythias，andOthelloandtheMerchantofVenus。AndhenamedaboutahundredprominentcoupleslikethatoutofShake-
　　speare'sworks。
　　“Butitendshappysometimes，“Isays。
　　“Notwhenitistrueloveitdon't，“saysLooey。
　　“LookatAnthonyandCleopatra。“
　　“Yes，“Isays，sarcasticlike，“Isupposetheyareinthetomb，too？”
　　“Theyare，“saysLooey，awfulsolemn。
　　“Yes，“Isays，“andsoisAdamandEveandDanandBurrshebaandalltherestofthemold-timers。
　　ButIbettheyhadagoodtimewhiletheylasted。“
　　Looeyshakeshisheadsolemnandsighsandgoestosleepverymournful，likehehastogivemeupfurlost。ButIcan'tsleepnonemyself。SopurtysoonIgetsupandputsonmyshoesandsneaksthroughthewood-lotandthroughthegapinthefencebytheappletreeandintoMissHamp-
　　ton'syard。
　　Itwasabeautyofamoonlightnight，thatwhiteandclearandcleanyoucouldalmostseetoreadbyit，likeallofeverythinghadbeenscouredasbrightasthebottomofatinpan。Andtheshadderswassoftandthickandvelvetyandlaidkindofbrownish-greeneyonthegrass。Ifloppeddownintheshadderofsomelilacbushesandwon-
　　deredwhichwasMartha'swindow。Iknowedshewouldbeinbedlongago，but——Well，Iwasjestplumbfoolishthatnight，andIcouldn'tofkeptawayfuranymoney。Thatmoonlighthadgotintomyhead，itseemedlike，andmademedrunk。
　　ButIwouldratherbelooneythat-a-waythantohaveasmuchsenseasKingSolomonandallhisadverbs。IwasthatlooneythatifIhadknowedanypoetryIwouldofsaiditoutloud，rightuptowardthatwindow。Ineverknowedwhypoetrywasmadeupbeforethatnight。ButtheonlypoetryIcouldthinkofwasabouttherewasamannamedFurgesonthatlivedonMarketStreet，andhehadaone-eyedThomascatthatcouldn'twellbebeat。Whichitdidn'tseemtofitthecase，soIdidn'tsayher。
　　Theporchofthathousewaspartcoveredwithvines，buttheywaskindofgapedapartatonecorner。AsIlaidthereintheshadderofthebushesIhearnaflutteringmovement，lightandgentle，onthatporch。Then，allofasudden，Iseensomeonestandingontheedgeoftheporchwherethevineswasgapedapart，andthemoonlightwasfallingontothem。Theymustofcomethereawfulsoftandstill。Whoeveritwascouldn'tseeintotheshadderwhereIlaid，thatis，ifitwasahumanandnotaghost。FurmyfirstthoughtwasitmightbeoneofthemghostsIhadbeenrunningdownsothatveryday，andmebbythesameoneMissHamp-
　　tonseenonthatverysameporch。IthoughtI
　　wasinfuritthen，mebby，andIfeltlikesomeonehadwhisperedtothebackofmyneckitoughttobescared。AndIWASscaredcleanupintomyhair。Istaredhard，furIcouldn'ttakemyeyesaway。ThenpurtysoonIseenifitwasaghostitmustbeawomanghost。Furitwasdressedinlight-colouredclothesthatmovedjestalittleinthebreeze，andtheclotheswassonearthecolourofthemoonlighttheyseemedtokindofsilverintoit。Youwouldofsaidithadjestfloatedthere，andwaswaitingfurtofloatawayaginwhenthebreezeblowedalittlestronger，orthemoondrawedit。
　　Itdidn'tmovefureversolong。Thenitleanedforwardthroughthegapinthevines，andIseenthefacerealplain。Itwasn'tnoghost，itwasalady。ThenIknoweditmustbeMissHamptonstandingthere。Awayoffthroughthetreesourcampfiresentupjestadullkindofaglow。Shewasstandingtherelookingatthat。Iwonderedwhy。
　　CHAPTERVIII
　　Thenextdaywebrokecampandwasgonefromthatplace，andItookawaywithmethehalfofaringmeandMarthahadchoppedintwo。Wekeptongoing，andbythetimepunkinsandcountyfairswasgettingripewewasintotheupperleft-handcornerofOhio。
　　AndthereLooeyleftus。
　　OnedayDoctorKirbyandmewaswalkingalongthemainstreetofalittletownandweseenabang-upfuneralpercessioncoming。ItmustofbeenoneoftheGrandArmyoftheRepublicans，furtheywassomeoftheoldsoldiersinbuggiesridingalongbehind，andabigstringofpeoplefolleringinmorebuggiesandsomeonfoot。Every-
　　bodywaslookingmightysollum。Buttheywasonemansettingbesidetheundertakerontheseatofthehearsethatwaslookingsollumerthanthemall。ItwasLooey，andI'llbetthecorpsehimselfwouldoffeltproudandhappyandcontentedifhecouldofknowedthestyleLooeywasgivingthatfuneral。
　　Itwasn'tnothingLooeydone，furhedidn'tdonothingbutjestsettherewithhisarmsfoldedontohisbosomandlooksad。ButhedoneTHAT
　　betterthananyoneelse。Hedoneitsowellthatyouforgotthecorpsewasthechiefpartytothatfuneral。Looeytookallthegloryfromhim。Hehadjestnatcherallystolethatfuneralawayfromitsrightfulownerwithhisenjoymentofit。Heseenthedoctorandmeasthehearsewentbyourcorner，butheneverleton。AcoupleofhourslaterLooeycomesintocampandsaysheisgoingtoquit。
　　Thedoctorastshimifhehasinheritedmoney。
　　“No，“saysLooey，“butmyaunthasgivenmeachancettogointobusiness。“
　　Looeysayshewasbornnighthere，andwasprowlingaroundtownthedaybeforeandrunacrostanoldauntofhis'nhehadforgotallabout。
　　Sheisawfulrespectableandreligiousandashamedofhimbeingintoatravellingshow。Andshehasofferedtolendhimenoughtobuyahalf-shareinabusiness。
　　“Well，“saysthedoctor，“Ihopeitwillbesome-
　　thingyouarefittedforandwillenjoy。ButI'venoticedthatafteramangetsthehabitofroamingaroundthisterrestialballit'smightyhardtosettledownandwatchhisvineandfigtreegrow。“
　　Looeysmilesinasadsortofaway，whichheseldomsmiledfuranything，andsaysheguesseshe'lllikethebusiness。Hesaystheyain'tmanybusinesseshecouldtaketo。Mostofthemmakesyouforgetthisworldisbutafleetingshow。Buthehasfoundabusinesswhichkeepsyouremindedallthetimethatdustisdustandashtoashesshaltreturn。Whenhefirstwentintothemedicinebusiness，hesaid，hewasdrawedtoitbythediseasesandthesuddendyings-offitalwayskepthiminmindof。Hethoughttheywasn'tnootherbusinesscouldlayoveritfurthatkindofcomfort。Buthehasfoundouthismistake。
　　“Whatkindofbusinessareyougoinginto？”
　　aststhedoctor。
　　“Iamgoingtobeanundertaker，“saysLooey。
　　“Myauntsaysthistownneedstherightkindofanundertakerbad。“
　　Mr。Wilcox，theundertakerthattownhas，isgettingpurtyoldandshaky，Looeysays，andyoungMr。Wilcox，hisson，istoolight-mindedandgoesatthingstoobriskandairytogiveittherightkindofasend-off。Peopledon'twanthimjokingaroundtheircorpsesandheisafatyoungmanandcan'thelpmakingpunseveninthepresenceofthedeparted。OldMr。Wilcox'seyesightisgettingsopoorhemadeascandalinthattownonlytheweekbefore。Hewascomposingadeparted'sfaceintoalastsmile，buthewenttoofurwithit，andgivethedepartedoneofthemawfulmean，devilishkindofgrins，likehehaddiedwithabadtemperon。Bythetimethedeparted'sfamblyhadfounditout，thingshadwenttoofur，andthefacehadsetthat-a-way，soitwasn'tsafetotrytochangeitany。
　　OldMr。Wilcoxhadseveralbrandsoflastlooks。
　　Onewascalled：BearUp，forWeWillMeetAgain。“
　　Theonethathadwentwrongwashisfavouritelook，named：ODeath，WhereisThyVictory？”
　　Looey'sauntsaysshewillbuyhimapartnershipifsheissatisfiedhecanfillthetown'sneeds。TheyhaveatalkwiththeWilcoxes，andheridesonthehearsethatdayfuratry-out。Hisauntpeeksoutbehindherbedroomcurtainsasthepercessiongoesbyherhouse，andwhensheseesthestyleLooeyisgivingtothatfuneral，andhoweasyitcomestohim，thatsettlesitwithheronthespot。Anditseemsthehullderntownlikedit，too，includingthedeparted'sfambly。
　　Looeysaystheyisalotofchancetfurimprove-
　　mentsintheundertakinggamebyonewhoseheartisinhiswork，andheisgoingintothatbusinesstomakeasuccessofit，andtryandgetallthefuneraltradefurmilesaround。Hereadsusanadvertise-
　　mentofthenewfirmhehasbeenfiggeringoutfurthattown'sweeklypaper。Icutacopyoutwhenitwasprinted，anditisaboutthegenteelestthinglikethatIevenseen，asfollers：
　　WILCOXANDSIMMS
　　InviteYourPatronageThisearthisbutafleetingshow，andtheblank-wingedangelswaitforall。Itisalwaysasatisfactiontorememberthatallpossiblehasbeendoneforthedeceased。
　　SeeOurNewLineofCoffinsLinedCasketsaSpecialtyLodgeWorkSolicitedTimeandtidewaitfornoman，andhisdaysarefewandfulloftroubles。Thepathsofgloryleadbuttothegrave，andnonecantellwhenmortalfeetmaystumble。
　　WheninTownDropinandInspectOurNewEmbalmingOutfit。ItisaPleasuretoShowGoodsandToolsEvenifYourFamilyNeedsnoWorkDoneJustYetOutfitsformournerswhohavebeenbereavedonshortnoticeaspecialty。Wetakeordersfortombstones。Lookatourlineofshrouds，robes，andblacksuitsforeithersexandanyage。Giveusjustonecall，andyouwillentrustfutureembalmingsandobsequiesinyourfamilytonootherfirm。
　　WILCOXANDSIMMS
　　MainStreet，NearDepotThedoctor，hereadsitovercarefulandsayssheorterdrumuptrade，allright。Looeytellsusthatmebby，ifhecangetthattowneducateduptoit，hewillputinacreamatory，wherehewillburnthem，too，butwillgoslow，furthattheresollumandbeautifulwayofreturningashtoashesmightmakesomeprejudiceinsuchareligioustown。
　　ThelastweseenofLooeywasacoupleofdayslaterwhenwetoldhimgood-byeinhisshop。OldMr。Wilcoxwasexplainingtohimthescienceofthemlastlookshewassofamousatwhenhewasayoungerman。YoungMr。WilcoxwaslayingonatablefurLooeytopractiseon，andLooeywaslearningfast。Buthenearlybrokedownwhenhesaidgood-bye，furhelikedthedoctor。
　　“Doc，“hesays，“you'vebeenagoodfriend，andIwon'tneverforgetyou。Theyain'tmuchI
　　cando，andinthisdeceitfulworldwordsislessthanactions。Butifyoueverwastodiewithinahun-
　　dredmilesofme，I'dgo，“hesays，“andnootherhandsbutmineshouldlayyouout。Anditwouldn'tcostyouacent，either。Noryouneither，Danny。“
　　Wethankedhimkindlyfurtheoffer，andwent。
　　Thenexttownwecometotherewasacountyfair，andthedoctorrunacrostanoldpalofhis'nwhohadashowonthegroundsandwantedtohirehimfurwhathecalledaballyhooman。WhichwasthefirstIeverhearnthemcalledthat，butI
　　gotbetteracquaintedwiththemsince。TheyarethefellersthatstandsoutinfrontandgetsyouallexcitedabouttheSiamesetwinsorthebeardedladyorthesnake-charmerortheCircassianbeautiesorwhateveritisinsidethetent，asrepresenteduponthecanvas。Thedoctorsayshewilldoitfuraweek，jestfurfun，andmebbypickupanotherfellertotakeLooey'splaceoutthere。
　　Thisfeller'snameisWattySanders，andhiswifeisafatladyinhisownshowandverygood-
　　naturedwhennotintoxicatednormadatWatty。
　　Shewasbilledonthecurtainsoutsidefurfivehun-
　　dredandfiftypounds，andWattysaysshereallydoesweighnighontofourhundred。Butbeingafatlady'shusbandain'tnobedofrosyeaseatthat，Wattytellsthedoctor。It'slikeeveryothertrade——ithasitsownpertic'lerresponsibilitiesandtroubles。SheisaturribleexpensetoWattyonaccountofeatingsomuch。
　　Thetalesthatfellertoldofhowhardhehastohustleshowingheroffinordertosupportherappetitewouldofdrawedtearsfromapawn-
　　broker'ssign，asDoctorKirbysays。Whichhefounditcheaperfurhishullshowtoboardandsleepinthetent，andwedonelikewise。
　　Well，Igotajobwiththatshowmyself。Wattyhadawildmancanvasbutnowildman，sohemademeanofferandItookhimup。IwasfromBorneo，wherethey'reallsupposedtobecaptured。
　　JestasDoctorKirbywouldgettohistalkabouthowthewildmanhadbeenketchedaftergreatstruggleandexpense，withfourmenkilledandanothercrippled，therewouldbeanawfulrumpusontheinsideofthetent，withwildhowlingsandthesoundofrevolversshotoffandawomanscreaming。
　　ThenIwouldcomebustingoutallblackedupfromheadtoheelwithnomoreclothesonthanthelawpervidedfur，yippingloudandshakingabigspearandrollingmyeyes，andWattywouldcomerushingaftermefiringhisrevolver。Iwouldmakefurthedoctoranddrawmyspearbacktojabitcleanthroughhim，andWattywouldgrabmyarm。
　　AndthedoctorwouldwhirlroundandtheywouldwrastlemetothegroundandIwouldbehand-
　　cuffedanddraggedbackintothetent，stillhowlingandstrugglingtobreakloose。Ontheinsidemypartoftheshowwastobewildinacage。Iwouldbechainedtothefloor，andeverynowandthenIwouldgetwilderandrattlemychainsandshakethebarsandmakejumpsatthecrowdandcarryon，andmakebelieveIwastoomadtoeatthepiecesofrawmeatWattythrowedintothecage。
　　Wattyhadasnake-charmerwoman，withanawfullong，bonykindofneck，workingfurhim，andanotherfellerthatwasherhusbandandeatglass。Theshowopenedupwiththemtwodoingwhattheysaidwasacomicturn。Thenthefatladycomeon。Whilsteverybodywasadmiringhersize，andlookingatthenumberofpoundsonthembigcheatscalesWattyweighedheron，thelong-neckedonewouldbechangingtohersnakeclothes。Whichsheonlyhadonesnake，andhehadbeeninthebusinesssolong，andwassokindofwornoutandtiredwithbeingcharmedsomuch，italwaysseemedlikeapitytomethewayshewouldtakeandtwisthimaround。Iguesstheyneverwasasnakewasworkedharderfurthelittlebithegottoeat，norgotnosickerofawoman'ssocietythanpooroldReginalddid。AfterRegi-
　　naldhadbeencharmedawhile，itwouldbetheglasseater'sturn。Whichhereallyeatit，andthedoctorsaysthatkindalwaysdiesbeforetheyisfifty。Ineverknowedhisrightname，butwhathewentbywasTheHumanOstrich。
　　Watty'swifewasawfuljealousofMrs。Ostrich，furshegottheideashewascarryingonwithWatty。
　　OnenightIhearnanargumentfromthefenced-
　　offpartofthetentWattyandhiswifesleptin。
　　ShewassettingonWatty'schestandhewasgasp-
　　ingfurmercy。
　　“Youknowitain'ttrue，“saysWatty，kindofsmothered-like。
　　“Itis，“saysshe，“youownupitis！”Andshegivehimajounce。
　　“No，darling，“hegetsoutofhim，“youknowI
　　nevercouldbearthemthin，scrawnykindofwomen。“
　　Andhebeginstocallherpetnamesofallkindsandbegherplease，ifshewon'tgetoffcomplete，tosetsomewhereselseaminute，furhischesthecanfeelgivingway，andhisribscavingin。Hecalledherhisplumplittlewomanthreeorfourtimesandshemustofsoftenedupsome，furshemovedandhisvoicecomestronger，butnotlessmeekandlowly。Andhefollersitup：
　　“Dolly，darling，“hesays，“IbetIknowsomethingmylittlewomandon'tknow。“
　　“Whatisit？”thefatladyastshim。
　　“Youdon'tknowwhatacruel，weakstomachyourhubbyhasgot，“Wattysays，awfulcoaxinglike，“oryouwouldn'tbeardownquitesohardontoit——please，Dolly！”
　　Shebeginstoblubberandsayheismakingfunofherbigsize，andifheismeantoheranymoreoreverlooksatanotherwomanaginshewilltakeanti-fatandfadeawaytonothingandruinhisshow，anditisawfulhardtobemadeajokeofallherlifeandnothavenosteadyhomenornothinglikeotherwomendoes。
　　“YouknowIworshipeverypoundofyou，“
　　littlewoman，“saysWatty，stillcoaxing。“Whycan'tyoutrustme？Youknow，Dolly，darling，Iwouldn'ttakeyourweightingoldforyou。“
　　Andhetellshertheyneverwasbutonceinallhislifehehassomuchasturnedhisheadtolookatanotherwoman，andthatwasbywayofaplutonicadmiration，andnoflirtingintended，hesays。
　　Andeventhenitwasbeforehehadmethisownlittlewoman。Andthatotherwoman，hesays，wasplumptoo，furhewouldn'tneverlookatnonebutaplumpwoman。
　　“Whatdidsheweigh？”astsWatty'swife。Hetellsherameaslylittlethreehundredpound。
　　“Butshewasn'trefinedlikemylittlewoman，“
　　saysWatty，“andwhenIseenthatIpassedherup。“AndinchbyinchWattycoaxedhercleanoffofhim。
　　ButthenextdayshehearnhimandMrs。Ostrichgigglingaboutsomething，andshehasareg'lartantrum，andjestfurmeannessgoesoutandfallsdownontheracetrack，pertendingshehasfainted，andtheycan'tmovehernoways，notevenrollher。Butfinallytheyroustedheroutofthatbyoneoftheseheresprinklingcartsbackingupaginherandturningloose。
　　ButasidefromthemoccasionalmeanstreaksDollywasrealnice，andIkindofgottolikingher。
　　Shetellsmethatbecausesheissofatnoonewon'ttakeherseriouslikeahumanbeing，andshewishtshewaslikeotherwomenandhadafambly。Thatwomanwantedababy，too，andIbetshewouldofbeengoodtoit，furshewasawfulgoodtoanimals。
　　Shehadbeenbigfromalittlegirl，andnevergotnosympathywhensick，nornothing，andevenwhilstsheplayedwithdollsasakidsheknowedshelookedridiculous，andwaslaughedat。Andbyjings！——theywasthefunniestthingcometolightbeforeweleftthatcrowd。Thatpoor，derned，old，fatfoolHADadollyet，allhidaway，andwhenshewasalonesheusedtotakeitoutandcuddleit。
　　Well，Dollyneverhadmanyfriends，andyoucouldn'tblamehermuchifshediddrinkalittletoomuchnowandthen，orgetmadatWattyfurhisgoings-onandkneeldownonhimwhilsthewasasleep。ThemwasheronlyfaultsandIlikedtheoldgirl。YetIcouldseeWattyhadhistroublestoo。
　　Thatshowbustedupbeforethefairclosed。FuronedayWatty'swifegetsmadatMrs。Ostrichandtriestosetonher。AndthenMrs。Ostrichgetsmadtoo，andsicksReginaldontoher。Watty'swifeisawfulscaredofReginald，whodon'treallyhaveambitionenoughtobitenoone，letalonealadybuiltsoroundeverywherehecouldn'tofgotagriponher。Andasfuraswrappinghimselfaroundherandsquashinghertodeath，Reginaldneverseenthedayhecouldreachthatfur。Regi-
　　nald'sfeelingsisplumbfriendlytowardDollywhenheisturnedloose，butshedon'tknowthat，andshehassomehystericsandfaintsinearnestthistime。Well，theywasanawfulhullaballowhenshecometo，andfurthesakeofpeaceinthefamblyWattyhastofireMr。andMrs。OstrichandpooroldReginaldoutoftheirjobs，andtheshowisbusted。SoDoctorKirbyandmelitoutfurotherpartsagin。
　　CHAPTERIX
　　Wewasjoggingalongoneafternoonnotfurfromagood-sizedtownatthetopofOhio，rightonthelake，whenwerunacrostsomeremaindersofabustedcircusridinginastakeandchainwagon。Theywastwofellers——bothjugglers，acrobats，andtumblers——andaballoon。
　　Thecircushadbustedwithoutpayingthemnothingbutpromisesfurmonthsandmonths，andtheyhadtooktheteamandwagonandballoonbyattach-
　　ment，theysaid。Theywascartingherfromthelittleburgtheshowbustedintothatgood-sizedtownonthelake。TheywouldselltheteamandwagonthereandgetmoneyenoughtoputanadvertisementintheBillboard，whichislikeaBibletothemshowmen，thattheyhadaballoontosellandwasatliberty。
　　Oneofthemwastheslimmest，lightest-footed，quickestfelleryoueverseen，withabignoseanddarkcomplected，andhisnamewasTobias。Theotherwasheavierandblondecomplected。HisnamewasDobbs，hesaid，andtheywastheBlanchetBrothers。DoctorKirbyandthemgotrealwellacquaintedinaboutthreeminutes。Wedroveonaheadandgotintothetownfirst。
　　Thedoctorsaysthatballoonisjestwastedonthemfellers。Theycan'tgoupinher，notknowingthattrade，butstilltheyoughttobesomewayfurthemtomakealittlestakeoutofitbeforeitwassold。
　　Thenexteveningwerunacrostthemfellersonthestreet，andtheywasfeelingpurtyblue。Theyhadn'tbeenabletosellthatteamandwagon，whichitwaseatingitsmealsreg'larinaliverystable，andtheyhadbeendoingstuntsinthestreetthatdayandpassingaroundthehat，butnotgettingenoughfurtopayexpenses。
　　“Where'stheballoon？”aststhedoctor。AndIseenhewassickinghisintellectsontothejobofmakingherpay。
　　“Intheliverystablewiththewagon，“theytellshim。
　　Hesaysheisgoingtofiggeroutawaytohelpthemboys。Theyislikeallcircusperformers，hesays——theyjestknowstheirownacts，andtalksabout'emallthetime，andstudiesupwaystomake'embetter，andhasgotnomoreideaofbusinessoutsideofthatthanarabbit。Weallwenttotheliverystableandoverhauledthatballoon。Itwasanawfuljob，too。Buttheywasn'taripinher，andtheparachutewasjestasgoodasnew。
　　“There'snoreasonwhywecan'tgiveashowofourown，“saysDoctorKirby，“withyouboysandDannyandmeandthatballoon。Whatwewantisalotwithahighboardfencearoundit，likeabaseballgrounds，andthechancetotapagasmain。“Hesayshe'llbewillingtotakeachancetonit，evenpayingthegascompanyrealmoneytofillherup。
　　WhattheDoctordidn'tknowaboutstartingshowswasn'tworthknowing。Hehadevenwentinfortherealdramainhisyoungerdaysnowandthen。
　　“Oneofmytheatricalproductionscameverynearsucceeding，too，“hesays。
　　Itwasaplayhesays，inwhichtheherofallsinlovewithapairofSiamesetwinsandcommitssuicidebecausehecan'tmakeachoicebetweenthem。
　　“Weplayeditascomedyinthebigtownsandtragedyinthelittleones，“hesays。“ButlikeafoolIbookeditfortwoweeksofmiddle-sizedtownsanditbrokeus。“
　　Thenextdayhefindsalotthatwilldojestfine。
　　Ithasbeenusedfuraschoolplaygrounds，buttheschoolhasbeenmovedandtheoldbuildingistobetoredown。Hehiredtheplacecheap。Andhegoesandtalksthegascompanyintogivinghimcredittofillthatballoon。WhichIkeptwonderingwhatwastheuseoffillingher，furnoneofthefourofushadeverwentupinone。AndwhenIseenthehandbillshehadhadprintedIwonderedallthemore。Theyreadasfollers：
　　Kirby'sKomedyKompanyandOpenAirCircusPresentingaPeerlessPersonnelofArtisticAttractionsGreatestintheGalaxyofGaiety，isHartleyL。KirbyMonologuistandminstrel，dancerandvaudevillianinhisterpsichoreantravesties，buoyantburlesques，inimitableimitations，screamingimpersonations，refinedcomedysketchesandpopularsonghitsoftheday。
　　TheBlanchetBrothersDaring，Dazzling，Danger-Loving，Death-DefyingDemonsJoyousjugglers，acrobaticartists，constrictorialcontortionists，exquisiteequilibrists，intheirmarvellous，mysterious，unparalleledperformances。
　　UmslopogusThePatagonianChieftainThelowesttypeofhumanintellectThisformerlyferociousfiendhassofarsuccumbedtothesofterwilesofcivilizationthatheisnolongeracannibal，anditisnowsafetoputhimonexhibition。
　　Buttopreventaccidentsheisheavilymanacled，andthepubliciswarnednottocometoonear。
　　Balloon！Balloon！！Balloon！！！
　　ThemanagementalsopresentstheballoonofProf。AlonzoAckermanTheFamousAeronautinwhichhehasmadehisWonderfulAscensionandParachuteDropmanytimes，reachingremarkablealtitudesBalloon！Balloon！！Balloon！！！
　　Saturday，3P。M。
　　OldVandegriftSchoolLotAdmission50CentsWell，furawriterhecertainlylaidoverLooey，DoctorKirbydid——morecheerful-like，youmightsay。IseenrightoffIwastobethePatagonianChieftain。Iwasgettingmoreandmoreofanactorrightalong——firstanInjun，thenawildBorneo，andnowaPatagonian。
　　“ButwhoisthisAlonzoAckerman？”Iastshim。
　　“Celebratedballoonist，“sayshe，“andthemanthatinventedparachutes。Theyeatoutofhishand。“
　　“Whereishe？”astsI。
　　“HowshouldIknow？”hesays。
　　“Howishegoingup，then？”Iasts。
　　Thedoctorchucklesandsaysitisagoodbill，abetterbillthanhethought；thatitisgettinginitsworkalready。HesaystometoreaditcarefulandseeifitsaysAlonzoAckermanisgoingup。
　　Well，itdon't。Butanyonewouldofthoughtsothefirstlook。Ireckonthatbillwassomeofaliarherself，notlyingoutright，butjesthintingalie。Theyisalotofmean，stingy-souledkindofpeoplewouldn'tneverlietohelpafriend，butDoctorKirbywasn'toneof'em。
　　“But，“Isays，“whenthatcrowdfindsoutAlonzoain'tgoinguptheywillbepurtymad。“
　　“Oh，“sayshe，“Idon'tthinkso。TheAmericanpublicareagood-naturedsetofchuckle-heads，mostly。IftheygetsoreI'lltalk'emoutofit。“
　　Ifhehadanyfaultsatall——andmindyou，I
　　ain'tsayingDoctorKirbyhadany——theonehehadhardestwasthebeliefhecouldtalkanycrowdintoanynotion，oroutofit，either。Andhelovedtodoitjestfurthefunofit。He'dratherhavethefeelinghewasdoingthatthanthemoneyanyday。Hewaspowerfulvainaboutthatgabofhis'n，DoctorKirbywas。
　　Thefourofustookaroundaboutfivethousandbills。Thedoctorsaystheyisnothinglikegivingyourselfachancet。AndSaturdaymorningwegottheballoonfilledupsosheshowedhandsome，tuggingawaythereatherropes。Butwehadadernmeantimewiththatballoon，too。
　　Thedoctorsaysifwehavegoodlucktheremaybeasmanyasthree，fourhundredpeople。
　　ButJerusalem！Theywastwo，threetimesthatmany。BythetimetheshowstartedIreckontheywasnighathousandthere。ThedoctorandtheBlanchetBrotherswastickled。Whentheyquitcomingfastthedoctorleftthegateandmadealittlespeech，tellingallaboutthewonderfulshow，andthegreatexpenseitwastogetittogether，andallthat。
　　Theywasaropestretchedbetweenthecrowdandus。BackofthatwastheBlanchetBrothers'
　　wagonandourwagon，andourlittletent。Iwasjestinsidethetentwithchainson。Backofevery-
　　thingelsewastheballoon。
　　Well，thedoctorhedonealotofsongsandthingsasadvertised。ThentheBlanchetBrothersdonesomeoftheiracts。Theywasreallyfineacts，too。
　　ThencomesomemoreofDoctorKirby'srefinedcomedy，asadvertised。Next，moreBlanchet。
　　Thenalectureaboutmebythedoctor。Allinallittakesupaboutanhourandahalf。Thenthedoctormakesamightynicelittletalk，andwishesthemallgoodafternoon，thankingthemfurtheirkindintentionsandliberalpatronage，oneandall。
　　“Butwhenwilltheballoongoup？”astshalfadozenatoncet。
　　“Theballoon？”astsDoctorKirby，surprised。
　　“Balloon！Balloon！”yellsakid。Andthehullcrowdtookitupandyelled：“Balloon！Balloon！
　　Balloon！”Andtheycrowdedupclostetothatrope。
　　DoctorKirbyhasbeengettingoffthewagon，buthegetsbackonher，andstretcheshisarmswide，andmotionsof'emalltocomeclose。
　　“Ladiesandgentlemen，“hesays，“pleasetogathernear——uphere，goodpeople——andlisten！
　　ListentowhatIhavetosay——harkentotheutter-
　　ingsofmyvoice！Therehasbeenamisunder-
　　standinghere！Therehasbeenamisconstruction！
　　Therehasbeen，ladiesandgentlemen，awoefullackofcomprehensionhere！”
　　Itlookedtomeliketheywasbeginningtounder-
　　standmorethanhemeantthemto。Iwaswonder-
　　inghowitwouldallcomeout，butheneverlosthisnerve。
　　“Listen，“hesays，veryearnest，“listentome。
　　Somehowtheideaseemstohavegoneforththattherewouldbeaballoonascensionherethisafter-
　　noon。How，Idonotknow，forwhatweadvertised，ladiesandgentlemen，wasthattheballoonusedbyProf。AlonzoAckerman，theillustriousaeronaut，wouldbeUPONEXHIBITION。Andtheresheis，ladiesandgentlemen，theresheis，foreveryeyetoseeandgladdenwiththesightof——rightbeforeyou，ladiesandgentlemen——theballoonofAlonzoAckerman，thewonderfulvoyageroftheair，exactlyasrepresented。DuringtheirlongcareerKirbyandCompanyhaveneverdeceivedthepub-
　　lic。Othersmay，butKirbyandCompanyarelikeCaesar'swife——KirbyandCompanyareabovesuspicion。ItistheprovinceofKirby'sKomedyKompany，ladiesandgentlemen，tospreadthegladtidingsofinnocentamusementthroughoutthelengthandbreadthofthisfairlandofours。
　　Andtheresheisbeforeyou，theballoonasadver-
　　tised，thegallantshipoftheairinwhichtheillus-
　　triousAckermanmadesomanyvoyagesbeforehesailedatlastintotheGreatBeyond！Youcanseeher，ladiesandgentlemen，strainingathercords，anxioustomountintotheheavensandbegone！
　　Itisaneducationinitself，ladiesandgentlemen，amoraleducation，andwellworthcomingmilestosee。Thinkofit——thinkofit——theAcker-
　　manballoon——andthenthinkthattheillustriousAckermanhimself——hewasmypersonalfriend，ladiesandgentlemen，andatruefriendstickethcloserthanabrother——theillustriousAckermanisdead。Theballoon，ladiesandgentlemen，isthere，butAckermanisgonetohisreward。Lookatthatballoon，ladiesandgentlemen，andtellmeifyoucan，whyshouldthespiritofmortalsbeproud？Forthemanthatrodeherlikeamasterandtamedherlikeshewasadoveliescoldanddeadinawesterngraveyard，ladiesandgentlemen，andsheishere，auselessandanidlevanitywithoutthemindthatmadehergo！”
　　Well，hewentonandhetoldafunnystoryaboutAlonzo，whichIdon'tbelievetheyeverwasnoAlonzoAckerman，andalotof'emlaughed；andhetoldapitifulstory，andtheygotsollumagin，andthenanotherfunnystory。Well，hehad'emlistening，andpurtysoonmostofthecrowdisfeelinginagoodhumourtowardhim，andonefelleryellsout：
　　“Goit——you'reahullshowyourself！”Andsomejosheshim，buttheydon'tseemtobenotroubleintheair。Whentheyalllooktobeinagoodhumourheholdsupabillandastshowmanyhasthem。Manyhas。Hesaysthatiswell，andthenhestartstotellinganotherstory。Butinthemiddleofthestorythathullderncrowdistookwithafitoflaughing。Theyhaslookedatthebillcloset，andseentheyissold，andistakingitgood-natured。Andstillshoutingandlaughingmostofthembeginstostartalongoff。AndI
　　thoughtallchancetoftroublewasoverwith。
　　Butitwasn't。
　　Furtheyisalwaysanatcheralbornkickereverywhere，andtheywasonehere，too。
　　Hewasaleanfellerwithastickingoutjaw，andoneofhiseyeswasinakindofablackpocket，andhewasjestnatcherallylayingitofftoaboutadozenfellersthatwasinalittleknotaroundhim。
　　Thedoctorseesthemainpartofthecrowdgoingandclimbsdownoff'nthewagon。Ashedoessothathullbunchofaboutadozenmovesinundertherope，andsomemorethatwasgoingoutseenit，andstoppedandcomeback。
　　“Perfessor，“saysthemanwiththepatchoverhiseyetoDoctorKirby，“yousaythismanAcker-
　　manisdead？”
　　“Yes，“saysthedoctor，eyinghimover，“he'sdead。“
　　“Howdidhedie？”aststhefeller。
　　“Hediedhard，Iunderstand，“saysthedoctor，careless-like。
　　“Felloutofhisballoon？”
　　“Yes。“
　　“Thisaeronauttradeisadangeroustrade，Ihear，“saysthefellerwiththepatchonhiseye。
　　“Theysayso，“saysDoctorKirby，easy-like。
　　“Wasyoueveranaeronautyourself？”aststhefeller。
　　“No，“saysthedoctor。
　　“Neverbeenupinaballoon？”
　　“No。“
　　“Well，you'regoingupinonethisafternoon！”
　　“Whatdoyoumean？”astsDoctorKirby。
　　“We'vecomeouttoseeaballoonascension——
　　andwe'regoingtoseeit，too。“
　　Andwiththatthehullcrowdmadearushatthedoctor。
　　Well，Ibeeninfightsbeforethat，andIbeeninfightssincethen。ButIneverbeeninnoharderone。ThedoctorandthetwoBlanchetbrothersandmemanagedtogetbackedupaginthefenceinarowwhentherushcome。IguessIdonemyshare，andIguesstheBlanchetbrothersdonetheirn，too。Buttheywastoomanyof'emforus——toodernmany。Itwouldn'tofendedasquickasitdidifDoctorKirbyhadn'tgonecleancrazy。
　　Hisbackwastothefence，andhecleanedouteverythinginfrontofhim，andthenhegiveawildroarjestlikeabullandrushedthathullgang——
　　twentymen，theywas——withhisheaddown。
　　Hecaughttwofellers，oneineachhand，andhecrackedtheirheadstogether，andhecaughttwomore，anddonethesame。Butheorternevertookhisbackawayfromthatfence。Thehullgangclosedinonhim，anddownhewentatthebottomofapile。Iwasawfulbusymyself，butIseenthatpilemovingandchurning。ThenI
　　madeabigmistakemyself。Ikickedafellerinthestomach，andanotherfellercaughtmyleg，anddownIwent。FurahalfaminuteIneverknowednothing。AndwhenIcometoIwasallmashedabouttheface，andtwofellerswassittingonme。
　　ThecrowdwastyingDoctorKirbytothatparachute。Theystraddledlegsovertheparachutebar，andtiedhisfeetbelowit。Hewasstillfight-
　　ing，buttheywastoomanyfurhim。Theylefthisarmsuntied，buttheyheld'em，andthen——
　　Thentheycutherloose。Shewentuplikeshewasshotfromagun，andasshedidDoctorKirbytookagriponafeller'sarmthathadn'tletloosequickenoughandliftedhimplumboff'ntheground。
　　Heslewedaroundonthetrapezebarwiththefeller'sweight，andslippedheaddownward。Andasheslippedhegivethatfelleraswingandletlooseofhim，andthenketchedhimselfbythecrookofoneknee。Thefellerturnedovertwicetintheairandlandedinalittlecrumpled-uppileontheground，andnevermadeasound。
　　Thefellersthathadholtofmeforgotmeandstoodup，andIstooduptoo，andlooked。Theballoonwasrisingfast。DoctorKirbywastryingtopullhimselfuptothetrapezebar，twistingandsquirmingandhavingahardtimeofit，andshoot-
　　inghighereverysecond。Ireckonedhecouldn'tfallcomplete，furwherehisfeetwastiedwouldlikelyholdevenifhiskneecomestraight——buthewoulddiemebbywithhisheadfillingupwithblood。Butfinallyhemadeasquirmandraisedhimselfalotandgrabbedtheropeatonesideofthebar。Andthenhereachedandgottheropeontheotherside，andsetstraddleofher。Andjestashedonethatthewindketchedtheballoongoodandhard，andsheturnedouttowardLakeErie。Itwastoolatefurhimtopulltheropethatsetstheparachuteloosethen，anddropontotheland。
　　Irushedoutofthatschoolhouseyardanddownthestreettowardthelakefront，andrun，stumblingalongandlookingup。Shewasgettingsmallereveryminute。Andwithmyheadintheairlook-
　　ingupIwasrunningplumbtotheedgeofthewaterbeforeIknowedit。
　　Shewasawayoutoverthelakenow，andawfulhigh，andgoingfastbeforethewind，andthedoctorwasonlyaspeck。AndasIstaredatthatspeckawayupintheskyIthoughtthiswasameanworldtolivein。FurtherewastheonlyrealfriendI
　　everhad，andnowayfurmetohelphim。Hehadlearntmetoread，andboughtmegoodclothes，andmademeknowtheywasthingsintheworldworthtravellingaroundtosee，andmademefeellikeIwassomethingmorethanjestOldHankWalters'sdog。AndIguessedhewouldbedrowndedandIwouldneverseehimaginnow。Andallofasuddensomethingbustedlooseinsideofme，andIsunkdownthereattheedgeofthewater，sickatmystomach，andweakandshivering。
　　CHAPTERX
　　Ididn'texactlyfaintthere，butthingsgotallmixedfurme，andwhentheywasstraightenedoutaginIwasinahospital。
　　ItseemsIhadbeenconsiderablesteppedoninthatfight，andthreeribswasbroke。IknowedIwashurting，butIwassointerestedinwhatwashappeningtothedoctorthehullhurtnevercometometilltheballoonwaswayoutoverthelake。
　　ButnowIwasinaplastercast，andbeforeI
　　gotoutofthatIwasinafever。Iwassomeweeksgettingoutofthere。
　　ItriedtogetsomewordofDoctorKirby，butcouldn't。Nothinghadbeenheardofhimortheballoon。Thenewspapershadhadstuffaboutitfuradayortwo，andtheyguessedthebodymightcometolightsometime。Butthatwasall。AndIdidn'tknowwheretohuntnorhow。
　　Thehossesandwagonandtentandthingsworriedmesome，too。Theywasn'tmine，andsoIcouldn'tsell'em。Andtheywasn'tnogoodtomewithoutDoctorKirby。SoItellsthemanthatownstheliverystabletousetheteamfuritsboardandkeepittillDoctorKirbycallsfurit，andifheneverdoesmebbyIwillsometime。
　　Ididn'twanttostayinthattownorIcouldofgotajobintheliverystable。Theyofferedmeone，butIhatedthattown。Iwantedtolightout。
　　Ididn'tmuchcarewhereto。
　　ThemBlanchetBrothershadleftagoodshareofthemoneywetookinattheballoonascensionwiththehospitalpeoplefurmebeforetheyclearedout。
　　ButbeforeIleftthattheretownIseentheywasonethingIhadtodotomakemyselfeasyinmymind。SoIdoneher。
　　Thatwastohuntupthatfellerwithhiseyeinthepatch。Ittookmeaweektofindhim。Heliveddownnearsomerailroadyards。Imightofsoakedhimwithacouplinglinkandfeltahulllotbetter。ButIdidn'tguessitwoulddotopetandpampermyfeelingstoomuch。SoIdoesitwithmyfistsinaquietplace，anddoesitverycomplete，andleavesthattowninacattlecar，feelingahulllotmorecontentedinmymind。
　　ThentheywasahulldernyearIdidn'tstaynowhereverylong，norworkatanyonejobtoolong，neither。Ijestworkedfromplacetoplaceseeingthings——bigtownsandriversandmoun-
　　tains。Workinghereandthere，andloafingandridingblindbaggagesandfreighttrainsbetweenjobs，Icoveredalotofgroundthatyear，andmadesomepurtybigjumps，andgotacquaintedwithsomeawfulqueerfolks，firstandlast。
　　ButtheworstofthatislotsofpeoplegetstothinkingIamahobo。EvenoneortwojudgesinpolicecourtsIgotacquaintedwithhadthatthereideaofme。IalwaysexplainsthatIamnotone，andamjesttravellingaroundtoseethings，andworkingwhenIfeelslikeit，andain'tnobum。
　　ButfrequentIamnotbelieved。Andtwo，threedifferenttimesIgetstotheplacewhereIcouldn'thardlyoftoldmyselffromahobo，ifIhadn'tofknowedIwasn'tone。
　　Igotrightwellacquaintedwithsomeofthemhobos，too。AsfurasIcansee，theyisasmuchdifferenceinthemasinotherhumans。Sometravelsbecausetheylikestoseethings，andsomebecausetheyhatestowork，andsomebecausetheyisinthehabitandcan'tstopit。Well，I
　　knowmyselfit'spurtyhardafterwhiletostopit，furwherewouldyoustopat？Whatexcuseistheytostoponeplacemore'nanother？Imetallkindsof'em，andoncetIgotinfuraweekwithacoupleofrealJohnnyYeggsthatisbothinthepennow。Ihearnafellersayonetimethereissomegoodineveryman。Iwentthesamewayasthemtwoyeggmenahulldernweektotryandfindoutwherethegoodin'emwas。Iguesstheymustbesomemistakesomewheres，furIlookedhardandIwatchedclosetandIneverfoundit。
　　Theyismanykindsofhobosandtramps，per-
　　fessionalandamachure，andlotsofkindsofbums，andlotsofyoungfellersworkingtheirwayaroundtoseethings，likeIwas，andlotsofworkingmeninhardluckgoingfromplacetoplace，andallthemkindsishumans。Buttherealyeggmanain'tevenadog。
　　AndoncetIwentallthewayfromChicagotoBaltimorewithaserious，dernfoolthatsaidhewasasoshyologest，whateverthemis，andwasgoingtoputherallintoabookaboutthecriminalclasses。
　　HeworkedhardtryingtogetatthereasonIwasahobo。Whichtheywasn'tnoreason，furIwasn'tnohobo。ButIdidn'twanttodisappointthatfellerandspoilhisbookfurhim。SoItellshimthings。Thingsnotoverlytruthful，butveryfullofcrime。AboutayearafterwardIwasintooneofthesehereAndrewCarnegielib'arieswiththenamesoftheold-timepresidentsallchiselledalongthetopandIseenthehulldernthinginprint。
　　HesaidofmethesamethingIhavesaidaboutthemyeggmen。Ifallhemetjoshedthatfellerthesameasme，thatbookmustofbeenwhatyoumightcallmisleadinginspots。
　　OnemorningIwokeupinagood-sizedtowninIllinoise，notahundredmilesfromwhereIwasraised，withoutnomoney，andmyclothesnotmuchtolookat，andnojob。Ihadbeenwitharailroadshowfurabouttwoweeks，drivingstakesandotherroughwork，andithadwentoffandleftmesleepingontheground。circusesneverwaitsfurnothingnorcaresadernfurnoone。Itriedalldayaroundtownfurtogetsomekindofajob。
　　ButIwaslookingpurtyroughandIcouldn'tlandnothing。AlongintheafternoonIwasawfulhungry。
　　Iwasfeelingpurtylowdowntohavetoastfurameal，butfinallyIdoneit。
　　IdunnohowIevercometopickoutsuchaswell-
　　lookinghouse，butImakesalittletalkatthebackdoorandtheIrishgirlshesays，“Comein，“andintothekitchenIgoes。
　　“It'sMinnesotayou'reworkingtoward？”astsshe，pouringmeoutacupofcoffee。