MYWIFE
　　CHAPTERI
　　HOWIcomenottohavealastnameisaquestionthathasalwayshadmoreorlessaggervationmixedupwithit。ImightofhadonejestaswellasnotifOldHankWaltershadn'tbeensoall-fired，infernalbull-headedaboutthingsingineral，andhiswifeElmiraablamesightworse，andbothofemreadytorowataminute'snoticeandsticktoitforevermore。
　　Hank，hewasconsiderableofalusher。OneSaturdaynight，whenhecomehomefromthevil-
　　lageinhisusualfix，hestumbledoverabasketthatwassettingonhisfrontsteps。Thenhegotupanddrawedbackhisfootunsteadytokickitplumbintokingdomcome。JestthenhehearnElmiraopeningthedoorbehindhim，andheturnedhisheadsudden。Butthekickwasalreadystartedintotheair，andwhenheturnshecan'tstopit。
　　AndsoHankgetstwistedandfallsdownandstepsonhimself。Thatbasketletsoutayowl。
　　“It'skittens，“saysHank，stillsettingdownandstaringatthattherebasket。Allofwhich，youunderstand，Iama-tellingyoufromhearsay，asthelawyersalwaysastsyouincourt。
　　Elmira，shesingsout：
　　“Kittens，nothing！It'sababy！”
　　Andsheopensthebasketandlooksinanditwasme。
　　“HennereyWalters，“shesays——pickingmeup，andshakingmeathimlikeIwasacrime，“Hen-
　　nereyWalters，wheredidyougetthisherebaby？”
　　ShealwayscallshimHennereywhensheisgettingreadytogivehimfits。
　　Hank，hescratcheshishead，forhe'skindo'
　　confuddled，andthinksmebbyhereallyhasbroughtthisbasketwithhim。Hetriestothinkofalltheplaceshehasbeenthatnight。Buthecan'tthinkofanyplacebutBillNolan'ssaloon。Sohesays：
　　“Elmira，honest，Iain'thadbutonedrinkallday。“Andthenhekindo'rousesupalittlebit，andgetssurprisedandsays：
　　“ThataBABYyougotthere，Elmira？”Andthenhesays，dignified：“Sofurasthat'sconsarned，Elmira，wheredidYOUgetthattherebaby？”
　　Shelooksathim，andsheseeshedon'treallyknowwhereIcomefrom。OldHankmostlywastruth-
　　fulwhenlickeredup，furthatmatter，andsheknowedit，furhecouldn'tthinkupnoliesexceptingagineraldenialwhenintoxicateduptothegills。
　　Elmiralooksintothebasket。Theywasoneofthemlongrubbertubesstringingoutofabottlethatwasinit，andIhadbeensuckingthatbottlewheninterrupted。Andtheywasn'tnothingelseinthatbasketbutabigthickshawlwhichhadbeenwrappedallaroundme，andElmiraoftenworeittomeetingafterward。Shegoesinsideandshelooksatthebottleandmebythelight，andOldHank，hecomesstumblinginafterwardandsetsdowninachairandwaitstogetHailColumbiaforcominghomeinthatshape，so'shecanrowbackagin，liketheydoneeverySaturdaynight。
　　Blowedintheglassofthebottlewasthename：
　　“Daniel，DunneandCompany。“Anybodybutthemtwooldignoramusescouldoftoldrightoffthatthatdidn'thavenothingtodowithme，butwasjestthecompanythatmadethemkindofbottles。Butshereadsitoutloudthreeorfourtimes，andthenshesays：
　　“HisnameisDanielDunne，“shesays。
　　“AndCompany，“saysHank，feelingrightquarrelsome。
　　“COMPANYhain'tnoname，“saysshe。
　　“WHYhain'tit，I'dliketoknow？”saysHank。
　　“IknowedamanoncetwhosenamewasFarmer，andifafarmer'sanamewhyain'tacompanyanametoo？”
　　“HisnameisDanielDunne，“saysElmira，quiet-
　　like，butnotdodgingarow，neither。
　　“ANDCOMPANY，“saysHank，gettingontohisfeet，likehealwaysdonewhenheseentroublecoming。WhenOldHankwasfulloflickerheknowedjestthewaystoaggervatehertheworst。
　　Shemightofbangedhimonethesameasusual，andgotherowneyeblackedalso，thesameasusual；butjestthenIletsoutanotherbigyowl，andshegivemesomemilk。
　　Iguesstheonlyreasontheyeverkep'meatfirstwassotheycouldquarrelaboutmyname。
　　They'dlivedtogetheragoodmanyyearsandquarrelledabouteverythingelseunderthesun，andwasrunningoutofsubjects。Anewsubjectkindo'briskenedthingsupfurawhile。
　　Butfinallytheywenttoofarwithitonetime。
　　IwasabouttwoyearsoldthenandhewasstillcallingmeCompanyandhercallingmeDunne。
　　Thistimehehitsheralickthatlaysheroutandlikestokillher，anditgetshimscared。Butshegetsaroundaginafterawhile，andtheybothseeithaswenttoofurthattime，andsotheymakesup。
　　“Elmira，Igivein，“saysHank。“HisnameisDunne。“
　　“No，“saysshe，tender-like，“youwasright，Hank。HisnameisCompany。“Sotheyprettyneargotintoanotherrowoverthat。ButtheyfinallymadeitupbetweenemIdidn'thavenolastname，andthey'djestcallmeDanny。Whichtheybothdonefaithfuleverafter，asagreed。
　　OldHank，hewasablacksmith，andheusedtolammmeconsiderable，himandhiswifenothavinganykidsoftheirowntolick。Helammedmewhenhewasdrunk，andhewhaledmewhenhewassober。
　　Ineverheltitupaginhimmuch，neither，notfuragoodmanyyears，becausehegotmeusedtoityoung，andIhadn'tneverknowednothingelse。
　　Hank'swife，Elmira，sheusedtolickhimjestaboutasoftenashelickedher，andbosshimjestasmuch。
　　Sohefellbackonme。Amanhasjestnaturallygottohavesomethingtocussaroundandboss，so'stokeephimselffromfindingouthedon'tamounttonothing。Leastways，mostmenislikethat。AndHank，hedidn'tamounttomuch；andhekindo'knowedit，waydowndeepinhisinmostgizzards，anditwereacomforttohimtohavemearound。
　　Buttheywasonethingheneversotnostoreby，andIgotalongnowtowhereIholdthatupaginhimmore'nallthelickingsheeverdone。Thatwasbooklearning。Heneverhadnonehimself，andhewassotaginit，andhenevermademegetnone，andifI'deverastedhimforanyhe'dofwhaledmefurthat。Hank'swife，Elmira，hadmarriedbeneathher，andeverybodyinourtownhadcometoseeit，andusedtosympathizewithheraboutitwhenHankwasn'taround。She'dtellem，yes，itwasso。BackinElmira，NewYork，fromwhichherfatherandmothercometoourpartofIllinoiseintheearlydays，herfatherhadkep'ahotel，andtheywasstylishkindo'
　　folks。WhenshewasbornhermotherwashomesickfurallthatstyleandfurYorkStateways，andsoshenamedherElmira。
　　ButwhenshemarriedHank，hehadconsiderableland。Hisfatherhadleftittohim，butitwasallswampland，andsoHank'sfather，hehuntedmore'nhefarmed，andHankandhisbrothersdonethesamewhenhewasaboy。ButHank，helearntalittleblacksmithingwhenhewasgrowingup，causehelikedtotinkeraroundandtoshowhowstouthewas。Then，whenhemarriedElmiraAppleton，hehadtogotoworkpractisingthatperfessionreg'lar，becauseheneverlearntnothingaboutfarming。He'dsellfifteenortwentyacres，everynowandthen，andthey'dbehightimestillhe'dspentitup，andmebbyElmirawouldgetsomenewclothes。
　　ButwhenIwasfoundonthedoorstep，thelandwasallgone，andHankwaspractisingreg'lar，whennotbusycussingoutthefellersthathadboughttheland。Fursomesmartfellershadcomealong，andboughtupallthatswamplandanddreenedit，andnowitwasworthseventyoreightydollarsanacre。Hank，hefiggeredsomeonehadcheatedhim。WhichtheWaltersescouldofdreenedtheirntoo，onlythey'drutherhuntducksandhavefishfrysthantodigditches。AllofwhichIhearnElmiratalkingoverwiththeneighboursmore'noncewhenIwasgrowingup，andtheyallsays：
　　“Howsaditisyouhavecametothis，Elmira！”
　　Andthenshe'dkindo'spunkupandsay，thankstoglory，she'dkep'herpride。
　　Well，theywasworseplacestoliveinthanthattherelittletown，eveniftheywasn'tnorailroadwithineightmiles，andonlythreehundredsolesinthehullcopperation。WhichHank'sshopandourhousesetintheedgeofthewoodsjestoutsidethecopperationline，so'sthecitymarshaldidn'thavenoauthoritytoarresthimafterhecrossedit。
　　TheywasonethinginthathouseIalwaysadmiredwhenIwasakid。Andthatwasabigcistern。Mostpeoplehastheircisternsoutsidetheirhouse，andtheyisatinpipetakesalltherainwaterofftheroofandscootsitintothem。Ournworkedthesame，butourcisternwasrightinunderourkitchenfloor，andtheywasatrapdoorwithleatherhingesopenedintoitrightbythekitchenstove。Butthatwasn'twhyIwassoproudofit。
　　Itwasbecausethatcisternwasjestplumbfulloffish——bullheadsandredhorseandsunfishandotherkinds。
　　Hank'sfatherhadbuiltthatcistern。Andonetimehebrunghomesomelivefishinabucketanddumpedeminthere。Andtheygrowed。Andtheymultipliedinthereandrefurnishedtheearth。
　　Sothatcisternhadgottobeafamblycustom，whichwaskep'upinthatfamblyforahabit。ItwasagreatcomforttoHank，furallthemWalterseswasgreatfisheaters，thoughitneverwenttobrains。
　　Wefedemnowandthen，andthrowedbackinthelittleonestilltheywasgrowed，andkep'thedeadonespickedoutsoon'swesmelledanythingwrong，anditneverhurtthewaternone；andwhenIwasakidIwouldn'toftookanythingfurlivinginahouselikethat。
　　Oncet，whenIwasakidaboutsixyearsold，Hankcomehomefromthebar-room。HegottochasingElmira'scatcausehesaysitwasmakingfacesathim。Thecisterndoorwasopen，andHankfellin。Elmirawasovertotown，andIwasscared。
　　ShehadalwaystoldmenottofoolaroundtherenonewhenIwasalittlekid，furifIfellinthereI'dbeacorpsequicker'nscatt。
　　SowhenHankfellin，andIhearnhimsplash，beingonlyalittlefeller，andawfulscaredbecauseElmirahadalwaysmadeitsostrong，Ihadn'tnosortofunbeliefbutwhatHankwasacorpsealready。
　　SoIslamsthetrapdoorshutoverthattherecisternwithoutlookingin，furIhearnHankfloppingarounddowninthere。Ihadn'tneverhearnacorpseflopbefore，anddidn'tknowbutwhatitmightbesome-
　　howinjurioustome，andIwasn'tgoingtotakenochances。
　　SoIwentoutandplayedinthefrontyard，andwaitedfurElmira。ButIcouldn'tseemtogetmymindsettledonplayingIwasahorse，nornothing。
　　Ikep'thinkingmebbyHank'scorpseisgoingtocomefloppingoutofthatcisternandwhalemesomeunusualway。Ihadn'tneverbeenlickedbyacorpse，anddidn'trightlyknowjestwhatoneis，anyhow，beingyoungandcomparitiveinnocent。
　　SoIsneaksbackinandsetsalltheflatironsinthehouseontopofthecisternlid。Ihearnsomeflop-
　　pingandsplashingandspluttering，likeHank'scorpseistryingtojumpupandisfallingbackintothewater，andIhearnHank'svoice，andgotscarederyet。AndwhenElmiracomealongdowntheroad，sheseenmebythegatea-crying，andsheastsmewhy。
　　“Hankisacorpse，“saysI，blubbering。
　　“Acorpse！”saysElmira，droppinghercoffeewhichshewascarryinghomefromthegineralstoreandpost-office。“Danny，whatdoyoumean？”
　　IseenIwastoblamesomehow，andIwishtthenIhadn'tsaidnothingaboutHankbeingacorpse。
　　AndImadeupmymindIwouldn'tsaynothingmore。SowhenshegrabsholtofmeandastsmeaginwhatdidImeanIblubberedharder，jestthewayakidwill，andsaysnothingelse。IwishtI
　　hadn'tsetthemflatironsonthatdoor，furitcometomeallatoncetthatevenifHankHASturnedintoacorpseIain'tgotanyrighttokeephiminthatcistern。
　　JestthenOldMis'Rogers，whichisoneofourneighbours，comesby，whileElmiraisshakingmeandyellingoutwhatdidImeanandhowdidithappenandhadIsawitandwherewasHank'scorpse？
　　AndMis'Rogersshesays，“What'sDannybeendoingnow，Elmira？”mebeingalwaysuptosome-
　　thing。
　　Elmirasheturnedaroundandseenher，andshegivesawhoopandthenhollersout：“Hankisdead！”andthrowsherapernoverherheadandsetsrightdowninthepathandboo-hooslikeababy。AndIbellerslouder。
　　Mis'Rogers，sheneverwaitedtoastnothingmore。Sheseenshehadapieceofnews，andshe'sboundtobethefirsttospreadit，liketheyisalwaysalotofwomenwantstobeinthemcountrytowns。
　　SherunrightacrosttheroadtowheretheAlexan-
　　derseslived。Mis'Alexander，sheseenhercomingandunhookedthescreendoor，andMis'
　　Rogersshehollersoutbeforeshereachedtheporch：
　　“HankWaltersisdead。“
　　Andthenshewentfootingitupthestreet。
　　Theywasablackplumeonherbunnetwhichnoddedthesameasonahearse，andshewasintoandoutofsevenfrontyardsinfiveminutes。
　　Mis'Alexander，sherunsacrostthestreettowherewewas，andshekneelsdownandputsherarmaroundElmira，whichwasstillrockingbackandforthinthepath，andshesays：
　　“Howdoyouknowhe'sdead，Elmira？Iseenhimnotmore'nanhourago。“
　　“Dannyseenitall，“saysElmira。
　　Mis'Alexanderturnedtome，andwantstoknowwhathappenedandhowithappenedandwhereithappened。ButIdon'twanttosaynothingaboutthatcistern。SoIbustsoutbelleringfresher'never，andIsays：
　　“Hewasdrunk，andhecomehomedrunk，andhedoneitthen，andthat'showheconeit，“Isays。
　　“Andyouseenhim？”shesays。Inodded。
　　“Whereishe？”sayssheandElmira，bothtooncet。
　　ButIwasscaredtosaynothingaboutthattherecistern，soIjestbawledsomemore。
　　“Wasitintheblacksmithshop？”saysMis'
　　Alexander。Inoddedmyheadaginandletitgoatthat。
　　“Isheintherenow？”astsMis'Alexander。I
　　noddedagin。Ihadn'tmeanttogiveoutnountruestories。Butakidwillalwaystellalie，notmeaningtotellone，ifyousortofinvitehimwithquestionslikethat，andgethimscaredthewayyou'reacting。
　　Besides，Isaystomyself，“solongasHankhasturnedintoacorpseandthatmakeshimdead，what'sthedifferencewhetherhe'sintheblack-
　　smithshopornot？”FurIhadn'thadanyplainidea，beingsuchalittlekid，thatacorpsemeanttobedead，andwasn'tsurewhatbeingdeadwaslike，neither，excepttheyhadfuneralsoveryouthen。Iknowedbeingacorpsemustbesomesortofabigdisad-
　　vantagefromthewayElmiraalwayssayskeepawayfromthatcisterndoororI'llbeone。Butiftheywasgoingtobeafuneralinourhouse，I'dfeelkindo'important，too。Theydidn'thaveemeverydayinourtown，andwehadn'tneverhadoneofourown。
　　SoMis'Alexander，sheledElmiraintothehouse，botha-crying，andMis'Alexandertryingtocomforther，andmeataggingalongbehindholdingontoElmira'sskirtsandsnifflingintothem。AndinafewminutesallthemwomenMis'Rogershastoldcomefilingintothatroom，oneatatime，lookingsad。OnlyOldMis'Primrose，shewasawfullategettingtherebecauseshestoppedtoputonherbunnetshealwaysworetofuneralswiththeblackParislaceonithercousinArmintyWhitehadsentherfromChicago。
　　WhentheyfoundoutHankhadcomehomewithlickerinhimanddoneithimself，theywasallexcited，andtheyallcrowdsaroundandastsmehow，excepttwoasisholdingontoElmira'shandswhichsetsmoaninginachair。AndtheyallastsmequestionsastowhatIseenhimdo，whichiftheyhadn'tIwouldn'thavetoldemtheliesIdid。
　　Buttheyeggedmeontoit。
　　Saysonewoman：“Danny，youseenhimdoitintheblacksmithshop？”
　　Inodded。
　　“Buthowdidhegetin？”singsoutanotherwoman。“ThedoorwaslockedontheoutsidewithapadlockjestnowwhenIcomeby。Hecouldn'tofkilledhimselfinthereandlockedthedoorontheoutside。“
　　Ididn'tseehowhecouldofdonethatmyself，soIbeguntobawlaginandsaidnothingatall。
　　“Hemustofcrawledthroughthatlittlesidewindow，“saysanotherone。“ItwasopenwhenI
　　comeby，ifthedoorWASlocked。Didyouseehimcrawlthroughthelittlesidewindow，Danny？”
　　Inodded。Theywasn'tnothingelsefurmetodo。
　　“ButYOUhain'ttallenoughtolookthroughthattherewindow，“saysanotheronetome。“Howcouldyouseeintothatshop，Danny？”
　　Ididn'tknow，soIdidn'tsaynothingatall；I
　　jestsniffled。
　　“Theyisastoreboxrightinunderthatwindow，“
　　saysanotherone。“DannymusthaveclumbontothatstoreboxandlookedinafterheseenHankcomedowntheroadandcrawlthroughthewindow。
　　Didyouscrambleontothestoreboxandlookin，Danny？”
　　Ijestnoddedagin。
　　“Andwhatwasityouseenhimdo？Howdidhekillhimself？”theyallaststooncet。
　　_I_didn'tknow。SoIjestbellersandboo-hoossomemore。ThingswasgettingpastanythingI
　　couldseethewayoutof。
　　“Hemightofhunghimselftooneoftheironringsinthejistsabovetheforge，“saysanotherwoman。“Heclumbontotheforgetotietheropetooneofthemrings，andhetiedtheotherendaroundhisneck，andthenhesteppedoff'ntheforge。
　　Wasthathowhedoneit，Danny？”
　　Inodded。AndthenIbelleredlouderthanever。
　　IknowedHankwasdowninthattherecistern，acorpseandamightywetcorpse，allthistime；buttheykindo'gotmetothinkingmebbyhewashang-
　　ingoutintheshopbytheforge，too。AndIguessedI'dbettersticktotheshopstory，notwantingtosaynothingaboutthatcisternnosooner'nIcouldhelpit。
　　Prettysoononewomansays，kindo'shivery：
　　“Idon'twanttohavethejobofopeningthedoorofthatblacksmithshopthefirstone！”
　　Andtheyallkindo'shiveredthen，andlookedatElmira。Theysaystoletsomeofthemenopenit。AndMis'Alexander，shesaysshe'llrunhomeandtellherhusbandrightoff。
　　AndallthetimeElmiraismoaninginthatchair。
　　OnewomansaysElmiraorterhaveacupo'tea，whichshe'lllayoffherbunnetandgotothekitchenandmakeitfurher。ButElmirasaysno，shecan'ta-beartothinkoftea，withpoorHennereya-hang-
　　ingoutthereintheshop。Butshewaskindo'
　　enjoyingallthatfussbeingmadeoverher，too。
　　Andalltheotherwomensays：
　　“Poorthing！”Butallthesametheywasmadshesaidshedidn'twantanytea，fortheyallwantedsomeanddidn'tfeelfreewithoutshetookittoo。
　　Whichshesaidshewouldafterthey'dcoaxedawhileandmadeherseeherduty。
　　Sotheyallgoesouttothekitchen，bringingalongsomeofthebestroomchairs，Elmiracomingtoo，andmetaggingalongbehind。Andthefirstthingtheynoticedwasthemflatironsontopofthecisterndoor。Mis'Primrose，shesaysthatlooksfunny。
　　ButanotherwomanspeaksupandsaysDannymustofbeenplayingwiththemwhileElmirawasovertown。Shesays，“Wasyouplayingtheywashorses，Danny？”
　　Iwasfeelingconsiderablelikealiarbythistime，butIsaysIwasplayinghorseswiththem，furI
　　couldn'tseenouseinhurryingthingsup。Iwasboundtogetalammingpurtysoonanyhow。WhenIwasakidIcouldalwaysbetonthat。Sotheypicksuptheflatirons，andastheypicksemuptheycomeasplashingnoiseinthecistern。Ithinkstomyself，Hank'scorpse'llbeoutofthereinaminute。
　　Onewoman，shesays：
　　“Goodnessgracioussakesalive！What'sthat，Elmira？”
　　Elmirasaysthatcisternismightyfulloffish，andtheyissomegreatbigonesinthere，anditmustbesomeofthema-floppingaround。Whichiftheyhadn'tofbeenallworkedupandtalkingalltooncetandallthinkingofHank'sbodyhangingoutthereintheblacksmithshoptheymightofsuspicionedsomething。Forthatfloppingkep'upsteady，andalotofsplashingtoo。Imebbyortermentionedsoonerithadbeenadrysummerandtheywasonlythreeorfourfeetofwaterinourcistern，andHankwasn'tinscarcelyuptohisbighairychest。SowhenElmirasaysthecisternisfulloffish，thatwomanopensthetrapdoorandlooksin。Hankthinksit'sElmiracometogethimout。Heallowshe'llkeepquietinthereandmakebelieveheisdrownedandgiveheragoodscareandmakehersorryfurhim。Butwhenthecisterndoorisopened，hehearsalotofclackingtonguesallofasuddenliketheywasahenconventionon。
　　Heallowsshehastoldsomeoftheneighbours，andhe'llscarethemtoo。SoHank，helaidlow。
　　Andthewomanaslooksinseesnothing，forit'sasdarkdownthereastheinsidesofthewhalewhatswalleredNoah。Butsheleavesthedooropenandgoesona-makingtea，andtheyain'tskeerclyasoundfromthatcistern，onlylittle，ripplynoiseslikeitmighthavebeenfish。
　　Prettysoonawomansays：
　　“Ithasdrawed，Elmira；won'tyouhaveacup？”
　　Elmirashekickedsomemore，butshetookhern。
　　Andeachwomantookhern。Andonewoman，a-sippingofhern，shesays：
　　“Thedepartedhadhisgoodpints，Elmira。“
　　WhichwasthebestthinghadbeensaidofHankinthattownfuryearsandyears。
　　OldMis'Primrose，shealwayspridedherselfonbeinghonest，nomatterwhatcome，andsheupsandsays：
　　“Idon'tbelieveinnohippercriticsatatimelikethis，nomore'nnoothertime。Thedepartedwasn'tnogood，andthehulltownknowedit；andElmiraorterfeellikeit'sgoodriddanceofbadrubbishandthemismysentimentsandthesenti-
　　mentsofrightfulness。“
　　Alltheotherwomensingsout：
　　“W'y，MIS'PRIMROSE！Inever！”Andtheyseemedawfulshocked。Butdowninunderneathmoreofemagreedthanleton。Elmirashewipedhereyesandshesaid：
　　“Hennereyandmehashadourtroubles。Theyain'tanyuseindenyingthat，Mis'Primrose。Ithasoftenbeengiveandtakebetweenusandbetwixtus。Andthehulltownknowshehasliftedhishandaginmemore'noncet。ButIalwaysstooduptoHennerey，andIfithimback，freeandfairandopen。
　　Igivehimasgoodashesentonthishereearth，andIain'ttheonetocarrynoannermositiesbe-
　　yondthegrave。IforgiveHankalltheornerinesshedoneme，andtheywasalotofit，asisbecominguntoachurchmember，whichheneverwas。“
　　AndallthewomenbutMis'Primrose，theysays：
　　“ElmiraAppleton，youHAVEgotaChristiansperrit！”Whichdoneheraheapofgood，andshecriedconsiderableharder，leakingouttearsasfastasshepouredteain。EachoneonemtriestofindoutsomethinggoodtosayaboutHank，onlytheywasn'tmuchtheycouldsay。AndHankinthattherecisterna-listeningtoeverywordofit。
　　Mis'Rogers，shesays：
　　“Aforehetooktodrinkinglikeafish，HankWalterswasaslikelylookingayoungfellerasI
　　eversee。“
　　Mis'White，shesays：
　　“Well，Hankheneverwasastingyman，nohow。
　　OftenandoftenWhitehastoldmeaboutseeingHank，afterhe'dsoldapieceofland，treatingthehulltowndowninNolan'sbar-roomjestascome-
　　easy，go-easyasifitwasn'tmoneyheorterpaidhishonestdebtswith。“
　　Theysettherethat-a-waytellingofwhatgoodpintstheycouldthinkoffurtenminutes，andHanka-hearingitandgettingmadderandmadderallthetime。ThegineralopinionwasthatHankwasn'tnogoodandwasbetterdonefur，andnomatterwhattheysaidthemfeelingskep'stickingoutthroughthewords。
　　ByandbyTomAlexandercomebustingintothehouse，andhiswife，Mis'Alexander，waswithhim。
　　“What'sthematterwithallyoufolks，“hesays。
　　“Theyain'tnobodyhanginginthatthereblack-
　　smithshop。Ibrokethedoordownandwentin，anditwasempty。“
　　Thentheywasaprettyhowdy-do，andtheyallsingsout：
　　“Where'sthecorpse？”
　　Andsomethinksmebbysomeonehascutitdownandtookitaway，andallgabblestooncet。ButforaminutenoonethinksmebbylittleDannyhasbeeneggedontotelllies。LittleDannyain'tsayingaword。ButElmirashegrabsmeandshakesmeandshesays：
　　“Youlittleliar，you，whatdoyoumeanbythattaleyoutold？”
　　Ithinksthatlammingisaboutduenow。ButwhilstalleyesisturnedonmeandElmira，theycomesavoicefromthatcistern。ItisHank'svoice，andhesingsout：
　　“TomAlexander，isthatyou？”
　　Someofthewomenscream，forsomethinksitisHank'sghost。Butonewomansayswhatwouldaghostbedoinginacistern？
　　TomAlexander，helaughsandhesays：
　　“Whatinblazesyouwanttojumpintherefur，Hank？”
　　“Youdernijut！”saysHank，“youquitmockingmeandgetaladder，andwhenIgetout'nhereI'lllearnyoutoastwhatdidIwanttojumpinherefur！”
　　“Youneverseenthedayyoucoulddoit，“saysTomAlexander，meaningthedayhecouldlickhim。“Andifyoufeelthatwayaboutityoucanstaytherefurallofme。Iguessalittlewaterwon'thurtyounone。“Andheleftthehouse。
　　“Elmira，“singsoutHank，madandbossy，“yougogetmealadder！”
　　ButElmira，hertemperrizuptoo，allofasudden。
　　“Don'tyoudareordermearoundlikeIwasthedirtunderyourfeet，HennereyWalters，“shesays。
　　AtthatHankfairlyroared，hewassomad。Hesays：
　　“Elmira，whenIgetout'nhereI'llgiveyouwhatyouwon'tfergitinahurry。Ihearnyoua-forgivingmeanda-weepingoverme，andIwon'tbeforgivenorweepedoverbynoone！Yougoandgetthatladder。“
　　ButElmiraonlyanswers：
　　“Youwasn'tsoberwhenyoufellintothere，HennereyWalters。Andnowyoucanjeststayintheretillyougetabettertemperonyou！”Andallthewomensays：“That'sright，Elmira；spunkuptohim！”
　　Theywasconsiderablesplashingaroundinthewaterfuracoupleofminutes。Andthen，allofasudden，alivefishcomea-whirlingoutofthathole，whichhehadketcheditwithhishands。Itwasabigbullhead，anditswhiskersarounditsmouthwasstiffenedintospikes，anditlandskerplumpintoMis'Rogers'slap，a-wiggling，anditkindo'hornsheronthehands，andsheisthatsurprisedshefaints。
　　Mis'Primrose，shegetsupandpushesthatfishbackintothecisternwithherfootfromthefloorwhereithadfell，andshesaysrightdecided：
　　“ElmiraWalters，thatwasElmiraAppleton，ifyouletHankout'nthatcisternbeforehehassignedthepledgeandpromisedtojinethechurchyou'reabiggerfool'nItakeyoutobe。Awomanhasgottomakeastand！”Withthatshemarchesout'nourhouse。
　　Thenallthewomensingsout：
　　“SendfurBrotherCartwright！SendfurBrotherCartwright！”
　　Andtheysentmescootingacrosttowntogethimquick。WhichhewasthepreacheroftheBaptistchurchandlivednexttoit。AndIhadn'tgotnolammingyet！
　　CHAPTERII
　　Ineverstoppedtotellbuttwo，threefolksonthewaytoBrotherCartwright's，buttheymustofspreaditquick。'CausewhenIgotbackhomewithhimitseemedlikethehulltownwasthere。Itwasalongaboutduskbythistime，anditwasaprayer-meetingnightatthechurch。Mr。Cartwrighttoldhiswifetotellthefolkswhatcometotheprayer-meetinghe'dbebackbeforelong，andtowaitfurhim。Whichshereallytoldthemwherehehadwent，andwhatfur。
　　Mr。Cartwrightmarchesrightintothekitchen。
　　Allthechairsinourhousewasintothekitchen，andthewomenwasa-talkinganda-laughing，andtheyhadsentovertoAlexandersesfortheirchairsandtoRogersesfortheirn。Everyoncetinawhiletheywouldbeaawfulbustoflanguagecomeupfromthatholewherethatunreginerateoldsinnerwascoopedupin。
　　Ihavetravelledaroundconsiderablesincethemdays，andIhavemixedupalongofmanykindsofpeopleinmanydifferentplaces，andsomeof'emwascusserstoadmire。ButIneverhearnsuchcussingbeforeorsinceasoldHankdonethatnight。
　　Hebustedhisownrecordsandrizhigher'nhisownwatermarksforprevioustimes。Iwasn'tnothingbutalittlekidthen，andskeerclyfittenfurtoad-
　　mirethefullbeautyofit。Theywasdeepdowncusses，thatcomefromtheheart。Lookingbackatitafteralltheseyears，IcanbelievewhatBrotherCartwrightsaidhimselfthatnight，thatitwasn'tnatcheralcussingandsomehigherpower，likeademonoraevilsperrit，mustofenteredintoHank'shumancarkisandgivethatturribleeloquencetohisremarks。Itbustedouteveryfewminutes，andthewomenwouldputtheirfingersintotheirearstillaspellwasover。Anditwaspersonal，too。
　　Hank，hewouldlistenuntilhehearnawoman'svoicethatheknowed，andthenhewouldletlooseonherfambly，goingbackwardstohergrandfathersanddownwardstoherchildren'schildren。Ifherfatherhadoncestolenahog，orherhusbanddoneanydisgracethatgotfoundoutonhim，Hankwouldputitallintohisgineralremarks，withtrimmingsontoit。
　　BrotherCartwright，hestepsuptotheholeinthefloorwhenhefirstcomesinandhesays，gentle-
　　likeandsoothing，likeaundertakerwhenhetellsyouwheretosetatahomefuneral：
　　“BrotherWalters。“
　　“Brother！”Hankyellsout，“don'tyebrotherme，yousniffling，psalm-singing，yaller-faced，pigeon-toedhippercrit，you！Getmealadder，goldernyou，andI'llcomeout'nhereandlearnyoutobrotherme，Iwill。“Onlythatwasn'tnothingtowhatHankreallysaidtothatpreacher；
　　nomorelikeitthanalittleyaller，fluffycanaryislikeabuzzard。
　　“BrotherWalters，“saysthepreacher，ca'ambutfirm，“wehavealldecidedthatyouain'tgoingtocomeoutofthatcisterntillyousignthepledge。“
　　AndHanktellshimwhathethinksofpledgesandhimandchurchdoings，anditwasn'tpurty。Andhesaysifhewasasdeepineternalfireaswhathenowisinrain-water，andeveryfishthatnibblesathistoeswasapreacherwithared-hotpitchforka-jabbingathim，theycouldjabtillthehullhere-
　　afterturnedintosnowaforehe'deversignnothingamanlikeMr。Cartwrightgivehimtosign。Hankwasstubbornerthananymuleheevernailedshoesonto，andproudofbeingthatstubborn。Thattownwasaawfulreligioustown，andHankheknowedhewascalledthemostonreligiousmaninit，andhewasproudofthattoo；andifanyonecalledhimaheathenitjestplumbtickledhimallover。
　　“BrotherWalters，“saysthatpreacher，“wearegoingtoprayforyou。“
　　Andtheydoneit。Theybroughtallthemchairscloseuparoundthatcistern，inaring，andtheyallkneeleddownthere，withtheirheadson'em，andtheyprayedfurHank'ssalvation。Theydoneitupinstyle，too，oneatatime，andtheotherssingingout，“Amen！”everynowandthen，andtheyshedtearsdownontoHank。Thefrontyardwascrowdedwithmen，alla-laughinganda-talkingandchawingandspittingtobaccoandbettinghowlongHankwouldholdout。OldSiEmery，thatwasthecitymarshal，andalwaysworeabignickel-
　　platedstar，wasouttherewith'em。Siwasinasweat，'causeBillNolan，thatrunthebar-room，andsomemoreofHank'sfriends，orasnearfriendsashehad，wasoutintheroad。TheysaystoSihemustarrestthatpreacher，furHankisbeinggradualmurderedinthattherewater，andhe'lldieifhe'shelttheretoolong，anditwillbeacrime。
　　Onlytheydidn'tcomeintotheyardtosayitamongstusreligiousfolks。ButSi，hesayshedassentarrestnoonebecauseitisoutsidethetowncopperation；buthe'sconsiderableworriedtooaboutwhathisdutyorterbe。
　　PrettysoonthegangthatMrs。Cartwrighthasroundedupattheprayer-meetingcomesstringingalongin。Theyhadallbrungtheirhymnbookswiththem，andtheysung。Thehulltownwastherethen，andtheyallsung，andtheysungre-
　　vivalhymnsoverHank。AndHankhewouldjestcussandcuss。Everytimehebustedoutintoanothercussingspelltheywouldstartanotherhymn。Finallythemenoutinthefrontyardgotwarmeduptoo，andbeguntosing，allbutBillNolan'scrowd，andtheygiveHankupforlostandwentawaydisgusted。
　　Thefirstthingyouknowedtheywasareg'larrevivalmeetingthere，andthatpreacherwaspreachingareg'larrevivalsermon。Ibeentomore'nonecampmeeting，butfurjestnatcherallytakingholtofthehullhumanracebytheslackofitspantsanddanglingofitoverhell-fire，Ineverhearnnothingcouldcomeuptothattheresermon。
　　Twoorthreeoldbackslidersinthecrowdcomerightupandrepentedalloveraginonthespot。Thehullkitandbilingof'emgotthepowergoodandhard，liketheydoesatcampmeetingsandrevivals。
　　ButHank，heonlycussed。Hewasobstinate，Hankwas，andhisprideanddanderhadrizup。
　　Finallyhesays：
　　“You'retakingaornery，low-downadvantageo'me，youare。Letmeout'nthisherecisternandI'llshowyouwho'llstickitoutlongestondryland，dernyourreligioushides！”
　　Someofthefolkstherehadn'thadnosuppers，soafteralltheothersinnersbutHankhadeithergotconvertedorelsesneakedaway，someofthewomensayswhynotmakeakindoflovefeastoutofit，andbringsomevittles，liketheydoestochurchsociables。BecauseitseemslikelySatanisgoingtowrastleallnightlong，likehedonewiththeangelJacob，andtheyoughttobeprepared。
　　Sotheydoneit。TheywentandtheycomebackwithvittlesandtheymadeuphotcoffeeandtheyfeastedthatpreacherandtheirselvesandElmiraandme，allrightinHank'shearing。
　　AndHankwasgettinghungryhimself。Andhewascoldinthatwater。Andthefishwasnibblingathim。Andhewasgettingcussedoutandweakandsoakedfullofdespair。Andtheywasn'tnowayfurhimtosetdownandrest。Andhewasscaredofgettingacrampinhislegs，andsinkingdownwithhisheadunderwaterandbeingdrownded。
　　Hesaidafterwardhe'dofdonethelastwithpleasureiftheywasanywayofsuingthatcrowdfurmurder。
　　Soalongaboutteno'clockhesingsout：
　　“Igivein，goshdernye！Igivein。LetmeoutandI'llsignyourpeskypledge！”
　　BrotherCartwrightwasfurgettingaladderandlettinghimclimboutrightaway。ButElmira，shesays：
　　“Don'tyoudoit，BrotherCartwright；don'tyoudoit。Youdon'tknowHankWalterslikeI
　　does。Ifheoncetgetsouto'therebeforehe'ssignedthatpledge，hewon'tneversignit。“
　　SotheyfixeditupthatBrotherCartwrightwastowriteoutapledgeontheinsideleafoftheBible，andtietheBibleontoastring，andaleadpencilontoanotherstring，andletthestringsdowntoHank，andhewastomakehismark，furhecouldn'twrite，andtheywastobepulledupagin。Hank，hesaysallright，andtheydoneit。ButjestasHankwasmakinghismarkontheleafofthebook，thatpreacherdonewhatIhasalwaysthoughtwasameantrick。Hewaslyingonthefloorwithhisheadandshouldersintothatholeasfurashecould，holdingalanternwaydownintoit，soasHankcouldsee。AndjestasHankmadethatmarkhespokesomewordsoverhim，andthenhesays：
　　“Now，HenryWalters，Ihavebaptizedyou，andyouareamemberofthechurch。“
　　You'dathoughtHankwouldofbrokeoutcussingaginatbeingtookunexpectedthat-a-way，furhehadn'treallyagreedtonothingbutsigningthepledge。Butnaryacuss。Hejestsays：“Now，yougetthatladder。“
　　Theygotit，andheclumbupintothekitchen，drippingandshivering。
　　“Youwentandbaptizedmeinthatwater？”
　　heaststhepreacher。Thepreachersayshehas。
　　“Then，“saysHank，“youdonealow-downtrickonme。YouknowedIhasmademybragsIneverjinednochurchnorneverwouldjine。YouknowedIwasproudofthat。Youknowedthatitwasmyglorytotellofit，andthatIsetaheapofstorebyitineveryway。Andnowyou'vewentandtookitawayfromme！Youneverfoughtitoutfairandsquare，neither，manplayingtooutlastman，likeyoudonewiththisherepledge，butyousneakeditinonmewhenIwasn'tlooking。“
　　Theywasalotofmeninthatcrowdthatthoughtthepreacherhadwenttoofar，andsympathizedwithHank。ThewayhedoneaboutthathurtBrotherCartwrightinourtown，andtheywasasplitinthechurch，becausesomesaiditwasn'treg'larandwasn'tbinding。Helosthisjobafterawhileandbecomeanevangelist。Whichitdon'tmakenodifferencewhatoneofthemdoes，nohow。
　　ButHank，healwaysthoughthehadbeenbap-
　　tizedreg'lar。Andheneverwasthesameafter-
　　ward。Hehadmadehislife-longbrags，andhispridewasbrokeinthatthereonepertic'lerspot。
　　Andhesorreredandgrievedoveritagood'eal，andgotgrouchierandgrouchierandmeanerandmeaner，andlickeredoftener，ifanything。Signingthepledgecouldn'tholdHank。Hewasworseineverywayafterthatnightinthecistern，andtooktolammingmeharderandharder。
　　CHAPTERIII
　　Well，allthelammingsHanklaidonneverdonemeanygood。ItseemedlikeIwasjestnatcherallycutouttohavenosuccessinlife，andnoamountofwhalingcouldchangeit，thoughHank，hewasfaithful。BeforeIwastwelveyearsoldthehulltownhadseenit，andtheywasn'tnothingelseexpectedofmeexceptnottobeanygood。
　　Thathaditshandysidestoit，too。Theywaslotsofkidstherethathadtogotoschool，butHank，heneverwouldofletmedonethatifIhadasthim，andIneverasted。Andtheywaslotsofkidsconsiderablybotheredallthetimewiththeirparentsandrelations。Theymade'emgotoSundaySchool，andwashupreg'laralloveronSaturdaynights，andputonshoesandstockingspartofthetime，eveninthesummer，andsomeof'emhadtoasttogoinswimming，andthehullthingwasacontinuoustroubleandprivationto'em。
　　Buttheywasn'tnothingperdictedofme，andI
　　donelikeitwasperdicted。Everybody'lowedfromthestartthatHankwouldofmadetrashout'nme，evenifIhadn'tshowedallthesignsofbeingtrashanyhow。Andiftheywasdevilmentanywhereaboutthattowntheyallsays，“Danny，hedoneit。“AndlikeasnotIhas。SoIgetstobewhatyoumightcallanoutcast。Allthekidswhosefolksain'ttrash，theirmotherstells'emnottorunwithmenomore。Whichtheydoneitallthemorefurthatreason，onthesly，anditmakesmemoreimportantwiththem。
　　ButwhenIgetsalittlebigger，allthatmakesmefeelkindo'badsometimes。Itain'tsohandythen。Furfolksgetstosaying，whenIwouldcomearound：
　　“Danny，whatdoYOUwant？”
　　AndifIsays，“Nothing，“theywouldsay：
　　“Well，then，yougetouto'here！”
　　Whichtheyneedn'tofbeensuspicioningnothingliketheypertendedtheydid，furIneverstolenothingmore'nwortermillionsandmushmillionsandsuchtruck，andmebbynowandthenachickenuskidsusetoroastinthewoodsonSundays，andjestaslikeasnotitwasoneofHank'shensthen，whichIfiggeredI'dearntit。
　　FurHank，hehadstreakswhenhe'dworkmeconsiderablehard。Henevergivemeanymoneyfurit。Heloafedalottoo，andwhenhe'dloafI'dloaf。ButIdidpickuprightsmartofhandinesswithtoolsaroundthatthereshopofhis'n，andifhe'deverofusedmerightImightofturnedintoapurtyfairblacksmith。Butitwasn'tnousetryingtoworkfurHank。WhenIwasaboutfifteen，timesisrightbadaroundthehousefuraspell，andElmiraisworkingpurtyhard，andIthinkstomyself：
　　“Well，thesefolkshaskindo'brungyouup，andyouain'tneverdonemore'nHankmadeyoudo。Mebbyyouortersticktoworkalittlemorewhenthey'sajobintheshop，evenifHankdon't。“
　　WhichItrieditfurabouttwoorthreeyears，doingasmuchworkaroundtheshopasHankdoneandmebbymore。Butitwasn'tnouse。OnedaywhenI'mabouteighteen，IseenawfulplainI'llhavetolightoutfromthere。Theywasacircuscometotownthatday。IsaystoHank：
　　“Hank，theyisacircusthisafternoonandaginto-night。“
　　“SoIhashearn，“saysHank。
　　“Areyougoingtoit？”saysI。
　　“Imout，“saysHank，“andthenaginImoutn't。
　　Idon'tseeasit'snoconsarnsofyourn，nohow。“
　　Iknowedhewasgoing，though。Hank，henevermissedacircus。
　　“Well，“Isays，“theywasn'tnoharmtoast，wasthey？”
　　“Well，you'veasted，ain'tyou？”saysHank。
　　“Well，then，“saysI，“I'dliketogotothattherecircusmyself。“
　　“Theyain'tnouseinmesayingfuryounottogo，“saysHank，“furyouwouldgoanyhow。Youalwaysdoesgooffwhenyouisneeded。“
　　“ButIain'tgotnomoney，“Isays，“andIwasgoingtoastyoucouldyousparemehalfadollar？”
　　“GreatJehosephat！”saysHank，“butain'tyougettingstuckup！What'sthematterofyoucrawlinginunderthetentlikeyoualwaysdone？
　　FirstthingIknowyou'llbewantingapairofthesehereyallershoesandastove-pipehat。“
　　“No，“saysI，“Iain'tnodude，Hank，andyouknowit。Buttheyisalwaysthingsaboutacircustospendmoneyonbesidesjestthecircusherself。
　　Theyisthesideshow，furinstance，andtheyisthegrandconcertafterward。IcalkelatedI'dtake'emallinthisyear——thehulldernthing，jestfuroncet。“
　　Hank，helooksatmelikeI'dastedfurahouse'n'
　　lot，oramilliondollars，orsomethinglikethat。Buthedon'tsaynothing。Hejestsnorts。
　　“Hank，“Isays，“Ibeendoingrightsmartworkaroundtheshopfurtwo，threeyearsnow。Ifyouwasn'tloafingsomuchyou'danoticeditmore。
　　AndIain'tneverastfuracentofpayfurit，nor——“
　　“Youain'twuthnopay，“saysHank。“Youain'twuthnothingbuttoeatvittlesandwearoutclothes。“
　　“Well，“Isays，“IfiggerIearnmyvittlesandagood'ealmore。Andasfurasclothesgoes，IneverhadnonebutwhatElmiramadeout'nyourn。“
　　“Whobrungyouup？”astsHank。
　　“Youdoneit，“saysI，“andbyyourownsay-soyoudoneadernpoorjobatit。“
　　“Yougotothattherecircus，“saysHank，a-flaringup，“andI'lllambasteyouuptoainchofyourlife。
　　Sofurashandingoutmoneyfuryoutoslingittothedogs，Iain'tnobank，andifIwasIain'tnoijut。Butyoujestletmehearofyouevengoingnighthatcircuslotandallthelammingsyouhasevergot，rolledintoone，won'tbeameaslylittlesarcumstancetowhatyouWILLget。Theyain'tnoleather-facedyoungupstartwithweepin'-willowhailgoingtothrowuptomehowIbrunghimup。
　　That'sgratitoodfuryou，thatis！”saysHank。“Ifithadn'tofbeenfurmegivingyouahomewhenI
　　foundyoufirst，wherewouldyouofbeennow？”
　　“Well，“Isays，“Imightofbeenagood'ealbetteroff。Ifyouhadn'toftookmeintheAlexan-
　　derseswouldof，andthenIwouldn'tofbeenkep'outofschoolandgrowedupaignoramuslikeyouis。“
　　“Ineverhadnotroublekeepingyouawayfromschool，Inotice，“saysHank，withasnort。“ThisisthefirstIeverhearnofyouwantingtogothere。“
　　Whichwastrueinoneway，andalieinanother。
　　Ihadn'tneverwantedtogotilllately，buthe'doflammedmeifIhadofwantedto。Healwayssaidhewould。AndnowIwastoobigandknowedit。
　　Well，Hank，henevergivemenomoney，soI
　　watchesmychancetthatafternoonandslipsinunderthetentthesameasalways。AndIlayslowunderthemgreenbenchesandwiggledthroughwhenIseenagoodchancet。ThefirstpersonI
　　seenwasHank。Ofcourseheseenme，andheshookhisfistatmeinapromisingkindofway，andtheywasn'tnotroublefiggeringoutwhathemeant。FurawhileIdidn'tenjoythatcircustonoextent。FurIwasthinkingthatifHanktriestolickmefuritI'llfighthimbackthistime，whichIhadn'tneverfithimbackmuchyetfurfearhe'dpickupsomethingironaroundtheshopandjestnatcherallylaymecoldwithit。
　　IgothomebeforeHankdid。Itwasnighsun-
　　down，andIwaswaitinginthedooroftheshopfurElmiratohollervittlesisready，andHankcomealong。Hedidn'twastenotime。Hestepsinsidetheshopandhetakesdownastrapandhesays：
　　“Youcomehereandtakeoffyourshirt。“
　　ButIjestmovesaway。Hank，herunsinonme，andheswingshisstrap。Ithrowedupmyarm，anditcutmeacrosttheknuckles。Iruninonhim，andhedroppedthestrapandfetchedmeanopen-
　　handedsmackplumbonthemouththatjarredmyheadbackandliketoofbusteditloose。ThenI
　　gotrightmad，andIruninonhimagin，andthistimeIgottohim，andwrastledwithhim。
　　Well，sir，Ineverwassosurprisedinallmylifebefore。FurIhadn'thadholtonhimmore'naminutebeforeIseenI'mstrongerthanHankis。
　　Ithrowedhim，andhehitthegroundwithcon-
　　siderableofajar，andthenIputmykneeinthepitofhisstomachandchurneditacouple。AndIthinkstomyselfwhatafoolImustofbeenfurbetter'nayear，becauseImightofdonethisanytime。IgothimbytheearsandIslammedhisheadintothegravelafewtimes，hima-reachingfurmythroat，anda-poundingmewithhisfists，butmea-takingthelicksandkeepingholt。AndIhadamightycontentedtimefurafewminutesthereontopofHank，chucklingtomyself，andbattinghimoneeverynowandthenfurluck，andtryingtomakehimhollerit'senough。ButHankisstubbornandhewon'tholler。AndpurtysoonIthinks，whatamIgoingtodo？FurHankwillbesomadwhenIlethimuphe'lljestnatcherallykillme，withoutIkillhim。AndIwasscared，becauseIdon'twantneitheroneofthemthingstohappen。WhilstIwasthinkingitover，andgettingscarederandscareder，andbangingHank'sheadharderandharder，someonegrabsmefrombehind。
　　Theywastwoofthem，andonegetsmycollarandonegetstheseatofmypants，andtheydrugmeoff'nhim。Hank，hegetsup，andthenhesetsdownsuddenonahorseblockandwipeshisfaceonhissleeve，whichtheywasconsiderablebloodcomeontothesleeve。
　　Ilooksaroundtoseewhohashadholtofme，anditistwomen。Oneofthemlooksaboutsevenfeettall，onaccountofabigplughatandalongwhitelinenduster，andhasabeautifulredbeard。Intheroadtheyisabigstoutroadwagon，withacanopytopoverit，pulledbytwohosses，andonthewagonboxtheyisastripofcanvas。WhichIcouldn'treadthenwhatwaswroteonthecanvas，butI
　　learntlateritsaid，inbigprint：
　　SIWASHINDIANSAGRAW。
　　NATURE'SUNIVERSALMEDICINALSPECIFIC。
　　DISCOVEREDBYDR。HARTLEYL。KIRBY
　　AMONGTHEABORIGINESOFOREGON。
　　Onaccountofbeingsobusy，neitherHanknormehadhearnthewagoncomealongtheroadandstop。Thebigmanintheplughat，hesays，ortheywaswordstothateffect，jestasserious：
　　“Whyareyoumaulingtheagedgent？”
　　“Well，“saysI，“heneededitconsiderable。“
　　“But，“sayshe，stillmoresolemn，“thegoodbooksaystohonourthyfatherandthymother。“
　　“Well，“Isays，“mebbyitdoesandmebbyitdon't。ButHEain'tmyfather，nohow。Andheain'tbeengettingnomore'nhiscome-uppings。“
　　“Vengeanceismine，saiththeLord，“thebigmanremarks，veryserious。Hank，herizupthen，andhesays：
　　“Mister，beyouapreacher？'Causeifyoube，thesooneryouhavedruvon，thebetterfurye。
　　Igotagrudgeaginallpreachers。“
　　Thatfeller，hejestlooksHankoverca'amandeasyandslowbeforeheanswers，andhewrinklesuphisfacelikeheneverseenanythinglikeHankbefore。Thenhefetchesakindo'aggervatingsmile，andhesays：
　　“BeneathashadychestnuttreeThevillageblacksmithstands。
　　Thesmith，apleasantsoulisheWithwartsuponhishands——“
　　HestaresatHankhardandsolemnandseriouswhileheissayingthatpoetryathim。Hankfidgetsandturnshiseyesaway。Butthefellertoucheshimonthebreastwithhisfinger，andmakeshimlookathim。
　　“Myhonestfriend，“saysthefeller，“IamNOT
　　apreacher。Notrightnow，anyhow。No！Mymissionisspreadingthegladtidingsofgoodhealth。
　　Lookatme，“andheswellshischestup，andkeepsa-holtofHank'seyeswithhis'n。“Youbeholdbeforeyouthediscoverer，manufacturer，andproprietorofSiwashIndianSagraw，nature'sownremedyforBright'sDisease，rheumatism，liverandkidneytrouble，catarrh，consumption，bronchitis，ring-worm，erysipelas，lungfever，typhoid，croup，dandruff，stomachtrouble，dyspepsia——“Andtheywasalotmoreof'em。
　　“Well，“saysHank，sorto'backingupasthebigmancomenearerandnearertohim，jestnatcherallybully-ragginghimwiththemeyes，“Igotnoneofthemtherecomplaints。“
　　Thedoctorhekindo'snarls，andhebringshishanddownhardonHank'sshoulder，andhesays：
　　“TherearemorethingsbetwixtDanandBeer-
　　shebathanwaseverdreamtofinthysagacity，Romeo！”Ortheywaswordstothateffect，furthatdoctorwasjestplumbfullofScripterquota-
　　tions。Andhesingsoutsudden，givingHankashovethatnearlypusheshimover：“Manalive！”
　　heyells，“youDON'TKNOWwhatdiseaseyoumayhave！
　　Many'sthestrongmanI'veseenrejoicinginhisstrengthatthedawnofdaycutdownlikethegrassinthefieldbeforesunset，“hesays。
　　Hank，he'stryingtolooktheotherway，butthatdoctorwon'tlethiseyeswiggleawayfromhis'n。
　　Hesaysverysharp：
　　“Stickoutyourtongue！”
　　Hank，hesticksherout。
　　Thedoctor，hetakessomeglassesout'nhispocketandputs'emon，andhefetchesalonglookather。
　　Thenheopenshismouthlikehewasgoingtosaysomething，andshutsitaginlikehisfeelingswon'tlethim。HeputshisarmacrossHank'sshoulderaffectionateandsad，andthenheturnshisheadawayliketheywassomeonedeadinthefambly。
　　Finally，hesays：
　　“Ithoughtso。Isawit。IsawitinyoureyeswhenIfirstdroveup。Ihope，“hesays，verymournful，“Ihaven'tcometoolate！”
　　Hank，heturnspale。IwasgettingsorryfurHankmyself。IseennowwhyIlickedhimsoeasy。Anyonecouldoftoldfromthatdoctor'sactionsHankwasasgoodasadeadmanalready。
　　ButHank，hemakesabigeffort，andhesays：
　　“Shucks！I'msixty-eightyearsold，doctor，andIhain'tneverhadasickdayinmylife。“Buthewasawfuluneasytoo。
　　Thedoctor，hesaystothefellerwithhim：
　　“Looey，bringmeoneofthesamplesize。“
　　Looeybrungit，thedoctornevertakinghiseyesoff'nHank。HehandedittoHank，andhesays：
　　“Awhiskeyglassfullthreetimesaday，myfriend，andthereisagoodchanceforevenyou。
　　Igiveittoyou，withoutmoneyandwithoutprice。“
　　“ButwhathaveIgot？”astsHank。
　　“Youhavespinalmeningitis，“saysthedoctor，neverbattinganeye。
　　“Willthisherecureme？”saysHank。
　　“It'llcureANYTHING，“saysthedoctor。
　　Hankhesays，“Shucks，“agin，buthetookthebottleandpulledthecorkoutandsmeltit，rightthoughtful。Andwhatthemfellershadstoppedatourplacefurwastohavetheshoeofthenighhoss'soffhindfootnailedon，whichitwasmostreadytodropoff。Hank，hedoneitfuraregula-
　　tion，dollar-sizebottleandtheydruvonintothevillage。
　　RightaftersupperIgoesdowntown。TheywasinfrontofSmith'sPalaceHotel。TheywasjeststartingupwhenIgotthere。Well，sir，thatdoctorwasasight。Hedidn'thavehisdusterontohim，buthisstove-pipehatwas，andoneofthemlongPrinceAlferdcoatsnearlytohisknees，andshinyshoes，buthisvestwascutouthollerfurtoshowhisbiledshirt，anditwasthepinkestshirtIeversee，andinthemiddleofthattheywasadia-
　　mondasbigasUnclePatHickey'swen，whatwasoneofthetownsights。No，sir；theyneverwasamanwithmoregenuinefashionablenessstickingoutalloverhimthanDoctorKirby。Hejestfairlywalleredinit。