ThenextmorningIawokewithalighterbreast,rejoicinginthecautionwhichhaddelayedmefromanyrashmanifestationofsuspicionsnowseentobeabsurd。Ismiledasthethoughtarose:
whatifthissuspectedstrangershouldalsobepesteredbyanactiveimagination,andshouldentertainsimilarsuspicionsofme?
HemusthaveseeninmyeyesthelookofrecognitionwhichIsawinhis。Onhearingofthemurder,ourmeetingmayalsohaverecurredtohim;andhissuspicionswouldhavethiscolor,wantingtomine,thatIhappentoinheritwithmyItalianbloodasomewhattruculentappearance,whichhasgainedformeamongmyfriendstheplayfulsobriquetof”thebrigand。”
Anxioustoatoneatonceformyfolly,andtoremovefrommymindanymisgiving——ifitexisted——atmyquittinghimsosoonafterthedisclosuresofthemasqueradingdetails,IwenttoBourgonefassoonasIwasdressedandproposedarambletillthediligencestartedforMunich。Hewassympatheticinhisinquiriesaboutmycolic,whichIassuredhimhadquitepassedaway,andoutwewent。
ThesharpmorningairofMarchmadeuswalkbriskly,andgaveapleasantanimationtoourthoughts。Ashediscussedtheactsoftheprovisionalgovernment,sowise,temperate,andenergetic,thefervorandgenerosityofhissentimentsstoodoutinsuchstrikingcontrastwiththedeedIhadlastnightrecklesslyimputedtohimthatIfeltdeeplyashamed,andwasnearlycarriedawaybymingledadmirationandself-reproachtoconfesstheabsurdvagrancyofmythoughtsandhumblyaskhispardon。Butyoucanunderstandthereluctanceataconfessionsoinsultingtohim,sodegradingtome。
Itisatalltimesdifficulttotellaman,facetoface,eyetoeye,theevilyouhavethoughtofhim,unlesstherecklessnessofangerseizesonitasaweaponwithwhichtostrike;andIhadnowsocompletelyunsaidtomyselfallthatIoncehadthoughtofevil,thattoputitinwordsseemedagratuitousinjurytomeandinsulttohim。
AdayortwoafterourarrivalinMunichareactionbegansteadilytosetin。AshamedasIwasofmysuspicions,Icouldnotaltogetherbanishfrommymindtheincidentwhichhadawakenedthem。Theimageofthatfalsebeardwouldminglewithmythoughts。
IwasvaguelyuncomfortableattheideaofBourgonef’scarryingaboutwithhimobviousmaterialsofdisguise。Initselfthiswouldhavehadlittlesignificance;butcoupledwiththefactthathisdevotedservantwas——inspiteofallBourgonef’seulogies——
repulsivelyferociousinaspect,capable,asIcouldnothelpbelieving,ofanybrutality,——thesuggestionwasunpleasant。YouwillunderstandthathavingemphaticallyacquittedBourgonefinmymind,Ididnotagaindistinctlychargehimwithanycomplicityinthemysteriousmurder;onthecontrary,Ishouldindignantlyhaverepelledsuchathought;buttheuneasysenseofsomemysteryabouthim,coupledwiththeaccessoriesofdisguise,andtheaspectoftheservant,gaverisetodim,shadowyforebodingswhicheverandanonpassedacrossmymind。
Diditeveroccurtoyou,reader,toreflectonthedepthsofdeceitwhichliestillanddarkeveninthehonestestminds?
Societyreposesonathincrustofconvention,underneathwhichliefathomlesspossibilitiesofcrime,andconsequentlysuspicionsofcrime。Friendship,howevercloseanddear,isnotfreefromitsreserves,unspokenbeliefs,moreorlesssuppressedopinions。Themanwhomyouwouldindignantlydefendagainstanyaccusationbroughtbyanother,soconfidentareyouinhisunshakableintegrity,youmayyourselfmomentarilysuspectofcrimesfarexceedingthosewhichyourepudiate。Indeed,Ihaveknownsagaciousmenholdthatperfectfranknessinexpressingthethoughtsisasuresignofimperfectfriendship;somethingisalwayssuppressed;anditisnothewholovesyouthat”tellsyoucandidlywhathethinks”ofyourperson,yourpretensions,yourchildren,oryourpoems。Perfectcandorisdictatedbyenvy,orsomeotherunfriendlyfeeling,makingfriendshipastalking-horse,undercoverofwhichitshootsthearrowwhichwillrankle。
Friendshipiscandidonlywhenthecandorisurgent——meanttoavertimpendingdangerortorectifyanerror。Thecandorwhichisanimpertinenceneverspringsfromfriendship。Loveissympathetic。
Idonot,ofcourse,meantointimatethatmyfeelingforBourgonefwasofthatdeepkindwhichjustifiesthenameoffriendship。I
onlywanttosaythatinoursocialrelationsweareconstantlyhidingfromeachother,underthesmilesandcourtesiesoffriendlyinterest,thoughtswhich,ifexpressed,woulddestroyallpossiblecommunion——andthat,nevertheless,wearenotinsincereinoursmilesandcourtesies;andthereforethereisnothingparadoxicalinmyhavingfeltgreatadmirationforBourgonef,andgreatpleasureinhissociety,whileallthetimetherewasdeepdownintherecessesofmythoughtsanuneasysenseofadarkmysterywhichpossiblyconnectedhimwithadreadfulcrime。
Thisfeelingwasrousedintogreateractivitybyanincidentwhichnowoccurred。OnemorningIwenttoBourgonef’sroom,whichwasatsomedistancefrommineonthesamefloor,intendingtoproposeavisittothesculptureattheGlyptothek。TomysurpriseIfoundIvantheserfstandingbeforethecloseddoor。Helookedatmelikeamastiffabouttospring;andintimatedbysignificantgesturesthatIwasnotallowedtoentertheroom。Concludingthathismasterwasoccupiedinsomeway,anddesirednottobedisturbed,Imerelysignifiedbyanodthatmyvisitwasofnoconsequence,andwentout。OnreturningaboutanhourafterwardsI
sawIvanputtingthreepinklettersintotheletter-boxofthehotel。Iattachednosignificancetothisveryordinaryfactatthetime,butwentuptomyroomandbeganwritingmyletters,oneofwhichwastomylawyer,sendinghimanimportantreceipt。Thedinner-bellsoundedbeforeIhadhalffinishedthisletter;butI
wroteon,determinedtohavedonewithitatonce,incasetheafternoonshouldofferanyexpeditionwithBourgonef。
AtdinnerhequietlyintimatedthatIvanhadinformedhimofmyvisit,andapologizedfornothavingbeenabletoseeme。I,ofcourse,assuredhimthatnoapologywasnecessary,andthatwehadplentyoftimetovisitsculpturetogetherwithoutintrudingonhisprivatehours。HeinformedmethathewasthatafternoongoingtopayavisittoSchwanthaler,thesculptor,andifIdesiredit,hewouldaskpermissiononanotheroccasiontotakemewithhim。I
jumpedattheproposal,asmaybesupposed。
Dinnerover,IstrolledintotheEnglischeGarten,andhadmycoffeeandcigarthere。OnmyreturnIwasvexedtofindthatinthehurryoffinishingmylettersIhadsealedtheonetomylawyer,andhadnotenclosedthereceiptwhichhadbeentheobjectofwriting。Fortunatelyitwasnottoolate。Descendingtothebureauofthehotel,Iexplainedmymistaketothehead-waiter,whounlockedtheletter-boxtosearchformyletter。Itwasfoundatonce,fortherewereonlysevenoreightinthebox。AmongthesemyeyenaturallycaughtthethreepinkletterswhichIhadthatmorningseenIvandropintothebox;butalthoughtheywereSEENbymetheywerenotNOTICEDatthetime,mymindbeingsolelyoccupiedwithrectifyingthestupidblunderIhadmade。
Oncemoreinmyownroomasuddenrevelationstartledme。Everyoneknowswhatitistohavedetailscomeundertheeyewhichthemindfirstinterpretslongaftertheeyeceasestorestuponthem。Theimpressionsarereceivedpassively;buttheyareregistered,andcanbecalmlyreadwheneverthemindisinactivity。Itwassonow。Isuddenly,asifnowforthefirsttime,sawthattheaddressesonBourgonef’sletterswerewritteninafluent,masterlyhand,boldincharacter,andwithacertainsweepwhichmighthavecomefromapainter。ThethrillwhichthisvisiongavewillbeintelligiblewhenyourememberthatBourgonefhadlostorpretendedtohavelosthisrightarm,andwas,asIbeforeintimated,farfromdexterouswithhisleft。Thatnomanrecentlythrownupontheuseofalefthandcouldhavewrittenthoseaddresseswastooevident。What,then,wasthealternative?Theemptysleevewasanimposture!Atoncetheoldhorriblesuspicionreturned,andthistimewithtenfoldviolence,andwithdamnatoryconfirmation。
Pressingmytemplesbetweenmyhands,Itriedtobecalmandtosurveytheevidencewithoutprecipitation;butforsometimetheconflictofthoughtswastooviolent。Whatevermightbetheexplanation,clearitwasthatBourgonef,forsomepurposes,waspractisingadeception,andhad,asIknew,othermeansofdisguisinghisappearance。This,onthemostfavorableinterpretation,brandedhimwithsuspicion。Thisexcludedhimfromthecircleofhonestmen。
ButdiditconnecthimwiththemurderofLieschenLehfeldt?Inmythoughtitdidsoindubitably;butIwasawareofthedifficultyofmakingthiscleartoanyoneelse。
VI
FIRSTLOVE
Ifthereaderfeelsthatmysuspicionswerenotwhollyunwarranted,wereindeedinevitable,hewillnotlaughatmeonlearningthatoncemorethesesuspicionsweresetaside,andthefact——thedamnatoryfact,asIregardedit——discoveredbymesoaccidentally,and,Ithought,providentially,wasrobbedofallitssignificancebyBourgonefhimselfcasuallyandcarelesslyavowingitinconversation,justasonemayavowasecretinfirmity,withsomebitterness,butwithoutanyimplicationofdeceitinitsconcealment。
Iwasthemorepreparedforthisrevulsionoffeeling,bythedifficultyIfeltinmaintainingmysuspicionsinthepresenceofonesogentleandsorefined。HehadcomeintomyroomthateveningtotellmeofhisvisittoSchwanthaler,andofthesculptor’sflatteringdesiretomakemypersonalacquaintance。HespokeofSchwanthaler,andhisearnesteffortsinart,withsomuchenthusiasm,andwasaltogethersocharming,thatIfeltabashedbeforehim,incapableofriddingmyselfofthedreadfulsuspicions,yetincapableoffirmlybelievinghimtobewhatIthought。Butmorethanthis,therecamethenewinterestawakenedinmebyhisstory;andwhen,inthecourseofhisstory,heaccidentallydisclosedthefactthathehadnotlosthisarm,allmysuspicionsvanishedatonce。
Wehadgot,asusual,uponpolitics,andweredifferingmorethanusual,becausehegavegreaterprominencetohissympathywiththeRedRepublicans。Heaccusedmeofnotbeing”thorough-going,”
whichIadmitted。Thisheattributedtothefactofmygivingadividedhearttopolitics——aconditionnaturalenoughatmyage,andwithmyhopes。”Well,”saidI,laughing,”youdon’tmeantotakealoftystanduponyourfewyears’seniority。Ifmyagerendersitnatural,doesyoursprofoundlyaltersuchaconviction?””Myage,no。Butyouhavethehopesofyouth。Ihavenone。Iambanishedforeverfromthejoysandsorrowsofdomesticlife;andtherefore,toliveatall,mustconsecratemysoultogreatabstractionsandpublicaffairs。””Butwhybanished,unlessself-banished?””Woman’sloveisimpossible。Youlookincredulous。Idonotalludetothis,”hesaid,takinguptheemptysleeve,andbysodoingsendingashiverthroughme。”Thelossofyourarm,”Isaid——andmyvoicetrembledslightly,forIfeltthatacrisiswasathand——”althoughamisfortunetoyou,wouldreallybeanadvantageingainingawoman’saffections。
Womenaresoromantic,andtheirimaginationsaresoeasilytouched!””Yes,”herepliedbitterly;”butthetroubleisthatIhavenotlostmyarm。”
Istarted。Hespokebitterly,yetcalmly。Iawaitedhisexplanationingreatsuspense。”Tohavelostmyarminbattle,orevenbyanaccident,wouldperhapshavelentmeacharminwoman’seyes。But,asIsaid,myarmhangsbymyside——withered,unpresentable。”
Ibreathedagain。Hecontinuedinthesametone,andwithoutnoticingmylooks。”Butitisnotthiswhichbanishesme。Woman’slovemightbehopedfor,hadIfarworseinfirmities。Thecauseliesdeeper。Itliesinmyhistory。Awallofgranitehasgrownupbetweenmeandthesex。””But,mydearfellow,doyou——wounded,asIpresumetoguess,bysomeunworthywoman——extendthefaultofonetothewholesex?Doyoudespairoffindinganothertrue,becauseafirstwasfalse?””Theyareallfalse,”heexclaimedwithenergy。”Not,perhaps,allfalsefrominherentviciousness,thoughmanyarethat,butfalsebecausetheirinherentweaknessrendersthemincapableoftruth。
Oh!Iknowthecatalogueoftheirgoodqualities。Theyareoftenpitiful,self-devoting,generous;buttheyaresobyfitsandstarts,justastheyarecruel,remorseless,exacting,byfitsandstarts。Theyhavenoconstancy——theyaretooweaktobeconstanteveninevil;theirmindsareallimpressions;theiractionsarealltheissueofimmediatepromptings。Swayedbythefleetingimpulsesofthehour,theyhaveonlyonepersistent,calculablemotiveonwhichreliancecanalwaysbeplaced——thatmotiveisvanity;youarealwayssureofthemthere。Itisfromvanitytheyaregood——fromvanitytheyareevil;theirdevotionandtheirdesertionequallyvanity。Iknowthem。Tometheyhavedisclosedtheshallowsoftheirnatures。God!howIhavesufferedfromthem!”
Adeep,lowexclamation,halfsob,halfcurse,closedhistirade。
Heremainedsilentforafewminutes,lookingonthefloor,then,suddenlyturninghiseyesuponme,said:”WereyoueverinHeidelberg?””Never。””Ithoughtallyourcountrymenwentthere?Thenyouwillneverhaveheardanythingofmystory。ShallItellyouhowmyyouthwasblighted?Willyoucaretolisten?””Itwouldinterestmemuch。””Ihadreachedtheageofseven-and-twenty,”hebegan,”withouthavingonceknowneventhevaguestirringsofthepassionoflove。
Iadmiredmanywomen,andcourtedtheadmirationofthemall;butI
wasasyetnotonlyheart-whole,but,touseyourShakespeare’sphrase,Cupidhadnottappedmeontheshoulder。”Thisdetailisnotunimportantinmystory。Youmaypossiblyhaveobservedthatinthosepassionatenatureswhichreservetheirforce,anddonotfritterawaytheirfeelingsinscatteredflirtationsortriviallove-affairs,thereisavelocityandmomentum,whenthemovementofpassionisonceexcited,greatlytranscendingallthatiseverfeltbyexpansiveandexpressivenatures。Slowtobemoved,whentheydomoveitiswiththewholemassoftheheart。Soitwaswithme。Ipurchasedmyimmunityfromearlierentanglementsbythepriceofmywholelife。IamnotwhatIwas。Betweenmypastandpresentselfthereisagulf;thatgulfisdark,stormy,andprofound。Onthefarsidestandsayouthofhope,energy,ambition,anduncloudedhappiness,withgreatcapacitiesforloving;onthissideablightedmanhood,withnoprospectsbutsufferingandstorm。”
Hepaused。Withaneffortheseemedtomasterthesuggestionswhichcrowdeduponhismemory,andcontinuedhisnarrativeinanequabletone。”IhadbeenforseveralweeksatHeidelberg。OneofmyintimatecompanionswasKestner,thearchitect,andheonedayproposedtointroducemetohissister-in-law,Ottilie,ofwhomhehadrepeatedlyspokentomeintermsofgreataffectionandesteem。”Wewent,andweweremostcordiallyreceived。OttiliejustifiedKestner’spraises。Pretty,butnotstrikinglyso——clever,butnotobtrusivelyso;hersoftdarkeyeswerefrankandwinning;hermannerwasgentleandretiring,withthatdashofsentimentalismwhichseemsnativetoallGermangirls,butwithoutanyoftheridiculousextravagancetoooftenseeninthem。IlikedherallthemorebecauseIwasperfectlyatmyeasewithher,andthiswasrarelythecaseinmyrelationstoyoungwomen。Idon’tenjoytheirsociety。”Youleapatoncetotheconclusionthatwefellinlove。Yourconclusionisprecipitate。Seeinghercontinually,Igrewtoadmireandrespecther;butthesignificantsmiles,winks,andhintsoffriends,pointingunmistakablyatasupposedunderstandingexistingbetweenus,onlymadememoreseriouslyexaminethestateofmyfeelings,andassuredmethatIwasnotinlove。ItistruethatIfeltaserenepleasureinhersociety,andthatwhenawayfromhersheoccupiedmuchofmythoughts。ItistruethatIoftenthoughtofherasawife;andinthesemeditationssheappearedasoneeminentlycalculatedtomakeahappyhome。ButitisnolesstruethatduringatemporaryabsenceofhersofafewweeksIfeltnosortofuneasiness,noyearningforherpresence,novacancyinmylife。Iknew,therefore,thatitwasnotlovewhichIfelt。”Somuchformyfeelings。Whatofhers?Theyseemedverylikemyown。Thatsheadmiredme,andwaspleasedtobewithme,wascertain。ThatshehadaparticleoffieryloveformeIdidnot,couldnotbelieve。Anditwasprobablythisverysenseofhercalmnesswhichkeptmyfeelingsquiet。Forloveisaflamewhichoftencanbekindledonlybycontactwithflame。Certainlythisissoinproud,reservednatures,whicharechilledbyanycontactwithtemperaturenothigherthantheirown。”Onherreturn,however,fromthatabsenceIhavementioned,Iwasnotalittleflutteredbyanobviouschangeinhermanner;animpressionwhichsubsequentmeetingsonlyservedtoconfirm。
Althoughstillveryquiet,hermannerhadbecomemoretender,andithadthatdeliciousshynesswhichisthemostexquisiteofflatteries,asitisoneofthemostenchantingofgraces。Isawhertrembleslightlybeneathmyvoice,andblushbeneathmygaze。”Therewasnomistakingthesesigns。Itwasclearthatshelovedme;anditwasnolessclearthatI,takingfireatthisdiscovery,wasmyselfrapidlyfallinginlove。Iwillnotkeepyoufrommystorybyidlereflections。Takeanothercigar。”Heroseandpacedupanddowntheroominsilence。
VII
AGALMA”AtthisjuncturetherearrivedfromParisthewomantowhomthegreatsorrowofmylifeisdue。Afatalistmightreadinherappearanceatthisparticularmomentthesignsofaprearrangeddoom。Afewweekslater,andherarrivalwouldhavebeenharmless;
Ishouldhavebeenshieldedfromallexternalinfluencebytheabsorbingforceoflove。But,alas!thiswasnottobe。Myfatehadtakenanotherdirection。Thewomanhadarrivedwhoseshadowwastodarkentherestofmyexistence。ThatwomanwasAgalmaLiebenstein。”Howisitthattheheadwhichwecanonlyseesurroundedwithahalo,orashadow,whenthesplendorsofachievementortheinfamyofshameinstructoureyes,isbytheuninstructedeyeobservedaswhollyvulgar?Weallprofesstobephysiognomists;howisitwearesolamentablymistakeninourjudgments?Herewasawomaninwhommyignoranteyessawnothingatallremarkableexceptgoldenhairofunusualbeauty。WhenIsaygolden,Iamnotspeakingloosely。Idonotmeanredorflaxenhair,buthairactuallyresemblingburnishedgoldmorethananythingelse。Itsripplesonherbrowcaughtthelightlikeacoronet。Thiswasheronebeauty,anditwassuperb。Fortherest,herfeatureswerecharacterless。
Herfigurewastallandfull;notgraceful,butsweepinglyimposing。AtfirstInoticednothingaboutherexceptthebraidedsplendorofherglorioushair。”
Herose,andwentintohisbedroom,fromwhichhereturnedwithasmalltrinket-boxinhishand。Thishelaidopenonthetable,disclosingalongstrandofexquisitefairhairlyingonacushionofdark-bluevelvet。”Lookatthat,”hesaid。”Mightitnothavebeencutfromanangel’shead?””Itiscertainlywonderful。””ItmusthavebeenhairlikethiswhichcrownedtheinfamousheadofLucreziaBorgia,”hesaid,bitterly。”She,too,hadgoldenhair;buthersmusthavebeenofpalertint,likehernature。”
Heresumedhisseat,and,fixinghiseyesuponthelock,continued:”ShewasoneofOttilie’sfriends——dearfriends,theycalledeachother,——whichmeantthattheykissedeachotherprofusely,andtoldeachotheralltheirsecrets,orasmuchasthelyingnatureofthesexpermittedandsuggested。Itis,ofcourse,impossibleformetodisentanglemypresentknowledgefrommypastimpressionssoastogiveyouacleardescriptionofwhatIthenthoughtofAgalma。
Enoughthat,asamatteroffact,Idistinctlyremembernottohaveadmiredher,andtohavetoldOttilieso;andwhenOttilie,insurpriseatmyinsensibility,assuredmethatmenwereingeneralwonderfullycharmedwithherthough,forherpart,shehadneverunderstoodwhy,Ianswered,andansweredsincerely,thatitmightbetruewiththelessrefinedorderofmen,butmenoftastewouldcertainlyberatherrepelledfromher。”Thisopinionofmine,orsomereportofit,reachedAgalma。”Itmayhavebeentheproximatecauseofmysorrows。Withoutthisstimulustohervanity,shemighthaveleftmeundisturbed。I
don’tknow。AllIknowis,thatovermanymenAgalmaexercisedgreatinfluence,andthatovermesheexercisedthespelloffascination。Nootherwordwillexplainherinfluence;foritwasnotbasedonexcellencessuchasthemindcouldrecognizetobeattractions;itwasbasedonamysteriouspersonalpower,somethingawfulinitsmysteriousness,asalldemoniacpowersare。OnesourceofherinfluenceovermenIthinkIcanexplain:sheatoncecaptivatedandrepelledthem。Byartfulappealstotheirvanity,shemadetheminterestedinherandinheropinionofthem,andyetkeptherselfinaccessiblebyapridewhichwasthemorefascinatingbecauseitalwaysseemedabouttogiveway。Herinstinctfastenedupontheweakpointinthosesheapproached。Thismadeherseductivetomen,becausesheflatteredtheirweakpoints;andhatefultowomen,becauseshefloutedanddisclosedtheirweakpoints。”Herinfluenceovermebeganinthefollowingway。Oneday,atapicnic,havingbeenledbyherintoaconversationrespectingtherelativeinferiorityofthefeminineintellect,Iwasforcedtospeakrathermoreearnestlythanusual,whensuddenlysheturnedtomeandexclaimedinalowervoice:”’Iamwillingtocreditanythingyousay;onlypraydon’tcontinuetalkingtomesoearnestly。’”’Whynot?’Iasked,surprised。”Shelookedatmewithpeculiarsignificance,butremainedsilent。”’MayIaskwhynot?’Iasked。”’Because,ifyoudo,somebodymaybejealous。’Therewasalaughingdefianceinhereyeasshespoke。”’Andpray,whohasarighttobejealousofme?’”’Oh!youknowwellenough。’”Itwastrue;Ididknow;andsheknewthatIknewit。TomyshamebeitsaidthatIwasweakenoughtoyieldtoanequivocationwhichInowseetohavebeendisloyal,butwhichIthenpretendedtohavebeennomorethandelicacytoOttilie。As,inpointoffact,therehadneverbeenawordpassedbetweenusrespectingourmutualfeelings,Iconsideredmyselfboundinhonortoassumethattherewasnothingtacitlyacknowledged。”Piquedbyhertoneandlook,Idisavowedtheexistenceofanyclaimsuponmyattention;andtoprovethesincerityofmywords,I
persistedinaddressingmyattentionstoher。OnceortwiceI
fanciedIcaughtflyingglances,inwhichsomeofthecompanycriticisedmyconduct,andOttiliealsoseemedtomeunusuallyquiet。Buthermanner,thoughquiet,wasuntroubledandunchanged。
Italkedlesstoherthanusual,partlybecauseItalkedsomuchtoAgalma,andpartlybecauseIfeltthatAgalma’seyeswereonus。
Butnoshadowof’temper’orreservedarkenedourinterchangeofspeech。”Onourwayback,IknownotwhatdevilpromptedmetoaskAgalmawhethershehadreallybeeninearnestinherformerallusionto’somebody。’”’Yes,’shesaid,’Iwasinearnestthen。’”’Andnow?’”’NowIhavedoubts。Imayhavebeenmisinformed。It’snoconcernofmine,anyway;butIhadbeengiventounderstand。However,I
admitthatmyowneyeshavenotconfirmedwhatmyearsheard。’”Thisspeechwasirritatingontwoseparategrounds。Itimpliedthatpeopleweretalkingfreelyofmyattachment,which,untilI
hadformallyacknowledgedit,Iresentedasanimpertinence;anditimpliedthat,frompersonalobservation,AgalmadoubtedOttilie’sfeelingsforme。Thisalarmedmyquick-retreatingpride!I,too,begantodoubt。Onceletlooseonthatfield,imaginationsoonsawshapesenoughtoconfirmanydoubt。Ottilie’smannercertainlyhadseemedlesstender——nay,somewhatindifferent——duringthelastfewdays。Hadthearrivalofthatheavylout,hercousin,anythingtodowiththischange?”Nottowearyyoubyrecallingalltheunfoldingstagesofthismiserablestorywiththeminutenessofdetailwhichmyownmemorymorbidlylingerson,Iwillhurrytothecatastrophe。IgrewmoreandmoredoubtfuloftheexistenceinOttilie’smindofanyfeelingstrongerthanfriendshipforme;andasthisdoubtstrengthened,therearosetheflatteringsuspicionthatIwasbecominganobjectofgreaterinteresttoAgalma,whohadquitechangedhertonetowardsme,andhadbecomeseriousinherspeechandmanner。Weekspassed。Ottiliehadfallenfromherpedestal,andhadtakenherplaceamongagreeableacquaintances。OnedayIsuddenlylearnedthatOttiliewasengagedtohercousin。”YouwillnotwonderthatAgalma,whobeforethishadexercisedgreatfascinationoverme,nowdoublybecameanobjectofthemosttenderinterest。Ifellmadlyinlove。HithertoIhadneverknownthatpassion。MyfeelingforOttilieIsawwasbuttheinarticulatestammeringsofthemightyvoicewhichnowsoundedthroughtthedepthsofmynature。Thephrase,madlyinlove,isnoexaggeration;madnessaloneknowssuchafeverofthebrain,suchatumultoftheheart。Itwasnotthatreasonwasoverpowered;onthecontrary,reasonwasintenselyactive,butactivewiththatlogicofflameswhichlightsupthevisionofmaniacs。”Although,ofcourse,mypassionwasbuttooevidenttoeveryone,Idreadeditsprematureavowal,lestIshouldloseher;andalmostequallydreadeddelay,lestIshouldsufferfromthatalso。AtlengththeavowalwasextortedfrommebyjealousyofabrilliantPole——Korinski——whohadrecentlyappearedinourcircle,andwasobviouslycastingmeintheshadebyhissuperioradvantagesofnovelty,ofpersonalattraction,andofaromantichistory。Sheacceptedme;andnow,foratime,Iwasthehappiestofmortals。
Thefeverofthelastfewweekswasabating;itgaveplacetoadeeptideofhopefuljoy。CouldIhavediedthen!CouldIhaveevendiedshortlyafterwards,whenIknewthedeliciousmysteryofajealousynottooabsorbing!Foryoumustknowthatmyhappinesswasbrief。Jealousy,towhichallpassionofadeepandexactingpowerisinevitablyallied,soonbegantodisturbmycontent。
Agalmahadnotenderness。Shepermittedcaresses,neverreturnedthem。Shewasreadyenoughtolistentoallmyplansforthefuture,solongastherecitalmovedamiddetailsoffortuneandherpositioninsociety——thatis,solongashervanitywasinterested;butIbegantoobservewithpainthatherthoughtsneverrestedontenderdomesticitiesandpoeticanticipations。
Thisvexedmemoreandmore。Theveryspellwhichsheexercisedovermemadeherwantoftendernessmoreintolerable。Iyearnedforherlove——forsomesympathywiththevehementpassionwhichwasburningwithinme;andshewasasmarble。”YouwillnotbesurprisedtohearthatIreproachedherbitterlyforherindifference。Thatistheinvariableandfatalfollyoflovers——theyseemtoimaginethataheartcanbescoldedintotenderness!Tomyreproachessheatfirstansweredimpatientlythattheywereunjust;thatitwasnotherfaultifhernaturewaslessexpansivethanmine;andthatitwasinsultingtobetoldshewasindifferenttothemanwhomshehadconsentedtomarry。Latersheansweredmyreproacheswithhaughtydefiance,onedayintimatingthatifIreallythoughtwhatIsaid,andrepentedourengagement,itwouldbemostprudentforustoseparateereitwastoolate。Thisquietedmeforawhile。Butitbroughtnobalmtomywounds。”Andnowfreshtortureswereadded。KorinskibecamequitemarkedinhisattentionstoAgalma。Theseshereceivedwithevidentdelight;somuchso,thatIsawbytheglancesofothersthattheywerescandalizedatit;andthis,ofcourse,increasedmypain。Myrenewedreproachesonlymadehermannercoldertome;toKorinskiitbecamewhatIwouldgladlyhaveseentowardsmyself。”Thestressandagitationofthosedaysweretoomuchforme。I
fellill,andforsevenweekslayutterlyprostrate。Onrecovering,thisnotewashandedtome。ItwasfromAgalma。”
Bourgonefhereheldouttomeacrumpledletter,andmotionedthatIshouldopenitandread。Itranthus:”Ihavethoughtmuchofwhatyouhavesooftensaid,thatitwouldbeforthehappinessofbothifourunfortunateengagementweresetaside。ThatyouhavearealaffectionformeIbelieve,andbeassuredthatIoncehadarealaffectionforyou;not,perhaps,thepassionatelovewhichanaturesoexactingasyoursdemands,andwhichIearnestlyhopeitmayonedayfind,butagenuineaffectionnevertheless,whichwouldhavemademeproudtoshareyourlot。
Butitwouldbeuncandidinmetopretendthatthisnowexists。
Yourincessantjealousy,theangryfeelingsexcitedbyyourreproaches,thefretfulirritationinwhichforsometimewehavelivedtogether,hascompletelykilledwhatloveIhad,andInolongerfeelpreparedtoriskthehappinessofbothofusbyamarriage。Whatyousaidtheothernightconvincesmethatitisevenyourdesireourengagementshouldcease。Itiscertainlymine。Letustrytothinkkindlyofeachotherandmeetagainasfriends。
AGALMALIEBENSTEIN。”
WhenIhadreadthisandreturnedittohim,hesaid:”YouseethatthiswaswrittenonthedayIwastakenill。WhethersheknewthatIwashelplessIknownot。Atanyrate,sheneversenttoinquireafterme。ShewentofftoParis;Korinskifollowedher;and——asIquicklylearnedongoingoncemoreintosociety——
theyweremarried!Didyouever,inthewholecourseofyourexperience,hearofsuchheartlessconduct?”
Bourgonefaskedthiswithaferocitywhichquitestartledme。I
didnotanswerhim;for,intruth,IcouldnotseethatAgalmahadbeenverymuchtoblame,evenashetoldthestory,andfeltsurethatcouldIhaveheardherversionitwouldhavewornaverydifferentaspect。Thatshewascold,anddisappointedhim,mightbetrueenough,buttherewasnocrime;andIperfectlyunderstoodhowthoroughlyodioushemusthavemadehimselftoherbyhisexactionsandreproaches。Iunderstoodthis,perhaps,allthebetter,becauseinthecourseofhisnarrativeBourgonefhadrevealedtomeaspectsofhisnaturewhichweresomewhatrepulsive。
EspeciallywasIstruckwithhismorbidvanity,andhisreadinesstoimputelowmotivestoothers。Thisunpleasantviewofhischaracter——acharacterinmanyrespectssoadmirableforitsgenerosityandrefinement——wasdeepenedashewenton,insteadofawaitingmyreplytohisquestion。”Forawrongsomeasureless,youwillnaturallyaskwhatmeasurelessrevengeIsought。”
Theideahadnotoccurredtome;indeedIcouldseenowrong,andthisnotionofrevengewassomewhatstartlinginsuchacase。”Idebateditlong,”hecontinued。”IfeltthatsinceIwaspreventedfromarrestinganyoftheeviltomyself,Icouldatleastmaturemyplansforanadequatedischargeofjustretributionsonher。Itrevealstheimpotenceresultingfromthetrammelsofmoderncivilization,thatwhilethepossibilitiesofwrongareinfinite,theopeningsforvengeancearefewandcontemptible。Onlywhenamanisthrownuponthenecessitiesofthis’wildjustice’doeshediscoverhowdifficultvengeancereallyis。HadAgalmabeenmywife,Icouldhavewreakedmywrathuponher,withassurancethatsomeofthetorturesheinflictedonmewastofallonher。NothavingthispowerwhatwasItodo?Killher?Thatwouldhaveaffordedonemomentofexquisitesatisfaction——buttoheritwouldhavebeensimplydeath——andI
wantedtokilltheheart。”
Heseemedworkingwithaninsanepassion,sothatIregardedhimwithdisgust,mingledwithsomedoubtsastowhathorrorshewasabouttorelate。”Myplanwaschosen。Theonlywaytoreachherheartwastostrikethroughherhusband。ForseveralhoursdailyIpractisedwiththepistol,until——inspiteofonlyhavingalefthand——Iacquiredfatalskill。Butthiswasnotenough。Firingatamarkissimplework。Firingataman——especiallyoneholdingapistolpointedatyou——isaltogetherdifferent。Ihadtoooftenheardof’crackshots’missingtheirmen,torelyconfidentlyonmyskillintheshootinggallery。Itwasnecessarythatmyeyeandhandshouldbeeducatedtofamiliaritywiththerealobject。Partofthecausewhyduelistsmisstheirmanisfromthetrepidationoffear。Iwaswithoutfear。AtnomomentinmylifehaveIbeenafraid;andthechanceofbeingshotbyKorinskiIcountedasnothing。Theothercauseisunfamiliaritywiththemark。ThisIsecuredmyselfagainstbygettingalayfigureofKorinski’sheight,dressingittoresemblehim,placingapistolinitshand,andthenpractisingatthismarkinthewoods。AfterashorttimeIcouldsendabulletthroughthethoraxwithouttakingmorethanahastyglanceatthefigure。”Thusprepared,IstartedforParis。Butyouwillfeelformewhenyoulearnthatmyhungryheartwasbaffledofitsvengeance,andbaffledforever。Agalmahadbeencarriedoffbyscarletfever。
KorinskihadleftParis,andIfeltnostrongpromptingstofollowhim,andwreakonhimafutilevengeance。ItwasonHERmywrathhadbeenconcentrated,andIgnashedmyteethatthethoughtthatshehadescapedme。”Mystoryisended。Themonthsofgloomydepressionwhichsucceeded,nowthatIwasnolongersustainedbythehopeofvengeance,Ineednotspeakof。Myexistencewasdesolate,andevennowthedesolationcontinuesoverthewholeregionoftheemotions。Icarryadeadheartwithinme。”
VIII
ASECONDVICTIM
Bourgonef’sstoryhasbeennarratedwithsomefullness,thoughinlessdetailthanhetoldit,inorderthatthereadermayunderstanditsrealbearingsonMYstory。Withoutit,themotiveswhichimpelledthestrangepertinacityofmypursuitwouldhavebeenunintelligible。Ihavesaidthataverydisagreeableimpressionremainedonmymindrespectingcertainaspectsofhischaracter,andIfeltsomewhatashamedofmyimperfectsagacityinhavinguptothisperiodbeenentirelyblindtothoseaspects。Thetruthis,everyhumanbeingisamystery,andremainssotothelast。Wefancyweknowacharacter;weformadistinctconceptionofit;foryearsthatconceptionremainsunmodified,andsuddenlythestrainofsomeemergency,oftheincidentalstimulusofnewcircumstances,revealsqualitiesnotsimplyunexpected,butflatlycontradictoryofourpreviousconception。Wejudgeofamanbytheanglehesubtendstooureye——onlythusCANwejudgeofhim;andthisangledependsontherelationhisqualitiesandcircumstancesbeartoourinterestsandsympathies。Bourgonefhadcharmedmeintellectually;morallyIhadnevercomeclosertohimthaninthesympathiesofpublicquestionsandabstracttheories。Hisstoryhaddisclosedhiddendepths。
Myoldsuspicionsreappeared,andaconversationwehadtwodaysafterwardshelpedtostrengthenthem。
WehadgoneonavisittoSchwanthaler,thesculptor,athistinylittlecastleofSchwaneck,afewmilesfromMunich。Theartistwasoutforawalk,butwewereinvitedtocomeinandawaithisreturn,whichwouldbeshortly;andmeanwhileBourgonefundertooktoshowmeoverthecastle,interestingasabitofmodernGothic,realizingonadiminutivescaleayouthfuldreamofthesculptor’s。
Whenoursurveywascompleted——anditdidnottakelong——wesatatoneofthewindowsandenjoyedamagnificentprospect。”Itiscurious,”saidBourgonef,”tobeshutuphereinthisimitationofmedievalmasonry,whereeverydetailspeaksofthedeadpast,andtothinkoftheeventsnowgoingoninPariswhichmustfindimitatorsalloverEurope,andwhichopentothemindsuchvistasofthefuture。WhatagrotesqueanachronismisthisGothiccastle,builtinthesameageasthatwhichseesareformingpope!””Yes;butisnotthereformingpopehimselfananachronism?””AsaCatholic,”herehesmiled,intimatingthathisorthodoxywasnotverystringent,”Icannotadmitthat;asaProtestant,youmustadmitthatiftheremustbeapope,hemustinthesedaysbeareformer,or——giveuphistemporalpower。NotthatIlookonPioNonoasmorethanaprecursor;hemaybreakground,andpointtheway,butheisnotthemantoleadEuropeoutofitspresentsloughofdespond,andundertheheadshipoftheChurchfoundanewandlastingrepublic。WewantaHildebrand,onewhowillbetothenineteenthcenturyasGregorywastotheeleventh。””Doyoubelieveinsuchapossibility?DoyouthinktheRomanpontiffcaneveragainswaythedestiniesofEurope?””IcanhardlysayIbelieveit;yetIseethepossibilityofsuchanopeningiftherightmanweretoarise。ButIfearhewillnotarise;orifheshould,theConclavewillstiflehim。Yetthereisbutonealternative:eitherEuropemustoncemorejoininacrusadewithapopeatthehead,oritmusthoisttheredflag。Thereisnootherissue。””Heavenpreserveusfromboth!AndIthinkweshallbepreservedfromthePopebytherottennessoftheChurch;fromthedrapeaurougebytheindignationandhorrorofallhonestmen。YouseehowtheProvisionalGovernmenthasresistedtheinsaneattemptofthefanaticstomaketheredflagacceptedasthenationalbanner?””Yes;anditistheonethingwhichdashesmypleasureinthenewrevolution。ItistheoneactofweaknesswhichtheGovernmenthasexhibited;aconcessionwhichwillbefatalunlessitbehappilysetasidebytheenergeticpartyofaction。””Anactofweakness?sayratheranactofstrength。Aconcession?
sayrathertherepudiationofanarchy,theassertionoflawandjustice。””Notabit。Itwasconcessiontothefearsofthetimid,andtothevanityoftheFrenchpeople。ThetricolorisaFrenchflag——
notthebannerofhumanity。ItisbecausethetricolorhasbeenidentifiedwiththevictoriesofFrancethatitappealstothevanityofthevainestofpeople。Theyforgetthatitistheflagofarevolutionwhichfailed,andofanempirewhichwasoneperpetualoutragetohumanity。Whereastheredisnew;itisthesymbolofanenergetic,thorough-goingcreed。Ifitcarriesterrorwithit,somuchthebetter。Thetyrantsandthetimidshouldbemadetotremble。””Ihadnoideayouweresobloodthirsty,”saidI,laughingathisvehemence。”Iamnotbloodthirstyatall;Iamonlylogicalandconsistent。
Thereisamassofsophistrycurrentintheworldwhichsickensme。
PeopletalkofRobespierreandSt。Just,twoofthemostvirtuousmenthateverlived——andofDominicandTorquemada,twoofthemostsingle-minded——asiftheywerecruelandbloodthirsty,whereastheywereonlyconvinced。””Isitfromloveofparadoxthatyoudefendthesetigers?””Tigers,again——howthosebeastsarecalumniated!”
Hesaidthiswithaseriousnesswhichwasirresistiblycomic。I
shoutedwithlaughter;buthecontinuedgravely:”YouthinkIamjoking。Butletmeaskyouwhyyouconsiderthetigermorebloodthirstythanyourself?Hespringsuponhisfood——
youbuyyoursfromthebutcher。Hecannotlivewithoutanimalfood:itisaprimalnecessity,andheobeystheordainedinstinct。
Youcanliveonvegetables;yetyouslaughterbeastsofthefieldandbirdsoftheairorbuythemwhenslaughtered,andconsideryourselfamodelofvirtue。Thetigeronlykillshisfoodorhisenemies;younotonlykillboth,butyoukilloneanimaltomakegravyforanother!ThetigerislessbloodthirstythantheChristian!””Idon’tknowhowmuchofthattiradeismeanttobeserious;buttowaivethequestionofthetiger’smorality,doyoureally——I
willnotsaysympathize,——butjustifyRobespierre,Dominic,St。
Just,andtherestofthefanaticswhohavewadedtotheirendsthroughblood。””HewhowillstheEND,willstheMEANS。””Adevil’smaxim。””Butatruth。Whatthefoolishworldshrinksatasbloodthirstinessandcrueltyisveryoftenmereforceandconstancyofintellect。Itisnotthatfanaticsthirstforblood——farfromit,——buttheythirstforthetriumphoftheircause。Whateverobstacleliesontheirpathmustberemoved;ifatorrentofbloodistheonlythingthatwillsweepitaway——thetorrentmustsweep。””Andsweepwithitallthesentimentsofpity,mercy,charity,love?””No;thesesentimentsmaygiveasadnesstothenecessity;theymakethedeedasacrifice,buttheycannotpreventthesoulfromseeingtheaimtowhichittends。””Thisisdetestabledoctrine!Itisthesophismwhichhasdestroyedfamilies,devastatedcities,andretardedthemoralprogressoftheworldmorethananythingelse。Nosingleactofinjusticeiseverdoneonthisearthbutittendstoperpetuatethereignofiniquity。Bythefeelingsitcallsforthitkeepsupthenativesavageryoftheheart。Itbreedsinjustice,partlybyhardeningthemindsofthosewhoassent,andpartlybyexcitingthepassionofrevengeinthosewhoresist。””Youarewrong。Thegreatdrag-chainonthecarofprogressisthefalteringinconsistencyofman。Weaknessismorecruelthansternness。Sentimentismoredestructivethanlogic。”
ThearrivalofSchwanthalerwastimely,formyindignationwasrising。Thesculptorreceiveduswithgreatcordiality,andinthepleasureofthesubsequenthourIgotovertosomeextenttheirritationBourgonef’stalkhadexcited。
ThenextdayIleftMunichfortheTyrol。MypartingwithBourgonefwasmanydegreeslessfriendlythanitwouldhavebeenaweekbefore。Ihadnowishtoseehimagain,andthereforegavehimnoaddressorinvitationincaseheshouldcometoEngland。AsIrolledawayintheMalleposte,mybusythoughtsreviewedallthedetailsofouracquaintance,andthefartherIwascarriedfromhispresence,themoreobtrusivebecamethesuspicionswhichconnectedhimwiththemurderofLieschenLehfeldt。How,oruponwhatmotive,wasindeedanuttermystery。HehadnotmentionedthenameofLehfeldt。HehadnotmentionedhavingbeforebeenatNuremberg。
AtHeidelbergthetragedyoccurred——orwasHeidelbergonlyamask?
ItoccurredtomethathehadfirstascertainedthatIhadneverbeenatHeidelbergbeforeheplacedthesceneofhisstorythere。
Thoughtssuchasthesetormentedme。Imagine,then,thehorrorwithwhichIheard,soonaftermyarrivalatSalzburg,thatamurderhadbeencommittedatGrosshesslohe——oneoftheprettyenvironsofMunichmuchresortedtobyholidayfolk——correspondinginallessentialfeatureswiththemurderatNuremberg!Inbothcasesthevictimwasyoungandpretty。Inbothcasesshewasfoundquietlylyingontheground,stabbedtotheheart,withoutanyothertracesofviolence。Inbothcasesshewasabetrothedbride,andthemotiveoftheunknownassassinamystery。
Suchacorrespondenceintheessentialfeaturesinevitablysuggestedanappallingmysteryofunityinthesecrimes,——eitherasthecrimesofoneman,committedundersomeimpulseofmotivelessmalignityandthirstforinnocentblood——orastheequallyappallingeffectofIMITATIONactingcontagiouslyuponacriminalimagination;ofwhichcontagiontherehavebeen,unfortunately,toomanyexamples——horriblecrimespromptingcertainweakandfeverishimaginations,bytheveryhorrortheyinspire,firsttodwellon,andfinallytorealizetheirimitations。
Itwasthislatterhypothesiswhichfoundgeneralacceptance。
Indeeditwastheonlyonewhichresteduponanygroundofexperience。Thedisastrousinfluenceofimitation,especiallyunderthefascinationofhorror,waswellknown。Theideaofanydiabolicalmalicemovingonemantopassfromcitytocity,andtherequietlysingleouthisvictims——bothofthem,bytheveryhypothesis,unrelatedtohim,bothofthemattheepochoftheirlives,when”Thebosom’slordsitslightlyonitsthrone,”
whenthepeaceoftheheartisassured,andthefutureisradiantlybeckoningtothem,——thatanymanshouldchoosesuchvictimsforsuchcrimeswastoopreposterousanidealongtobeentertained。
Unlessthemanweremad,theideawasinconceivable;andevenamonomaniacmustbetrayhimselfinsuchacourse,becausehewouldnecessarilyconceivehimselftobeaccomplishingsomesupremeactofjustice。
ItwasthusIargued;andindeedIshouldmuchhavepreferredtobelievethatonemaniacwereinvolved,ratherthanthecontagionofcrime,——sinceonemaniacmustinevitablybesoondetected;whereastherewerenoassignablelimitstothecontagionofimitation。AndthisitwaswhichsoprofoundlyagitatedGermansociety。Ineveryfamilyinwhichtherehappenedtobeabride,vaguetremorscouldnotbeallayed;andtheabsolutepowerlessnesswhichresultedfromtheutteruncertaintyastothequarterinwhichthisdreadedphantommightnextappear,justifiedandintensifiedthosetremors。
Againstsuchanapparitiontherewasnoconceivablesafeguard。
Fromacitystrickenwiththeplague,fromadistrictsostricken,flightispossible,andtherearetheresourcesofmedicalaid。
Butfromamoralplaguelikethis,whatescapewaspossible?
Sopassionateandprofoundbecametheterror,thatIbegantosharetheopinionwhichIheardexpressed,regrettingthewidespreadpublicityofthemodernpress,since,withmanyundeniablebenefits,itcarriedalsothefatalcurseofdistributingthroughhouseholds,andkeepingconstantlyundertheexcitementofdiscussion,imagesofcrimeandhorrorwhichwouldtendtoperpetuateandextendtheexcessesofindividualpassion。Themeredwellinglongonsuchatopicasthiswasfraughtwithevil。
ThisandmoreIhearddiscussedasIhurriedbacktoMunich。ToMunich?Yes;thitherIwaspostingwithallspeed。Notashadowofdoubtnowremainedinmymind。Iknewtheassassin,andwasresolvedtotrackandconvicthim。DonotsupposethatTHIStimeI
wasledawaybythevagrantactivityofmyconstructiveimagination。Ihadsomethinglikepositiveproof。NosoonerhadI
learnedthatthemurderhadbeencommittedatGrosshesslohe,thanmythoughtsatoncecarriedmetoanowmemorablevisitIhadmadethereincompanywithBourgonefandtwoyoungBavarians。Atthehotelwherewedined,wewerewaitedonbythenieceofthelandlord,agirlofremarkablebeauty,whonaturallyexcitedtheattentionoffouryoungmen,andfurnishedthemwithatopicofconversation。OneoftheBavarianshadtoldusthatshewouldonedaybeperhapsoneofthewealthiestwomeninthecountry,forshewasengagedtobemarriedtoayoungfarmerwhohadrecentlyfoundhimself,byarapidsuccessionofdeaths,soleheirtoagreatbrewer,whosewealthwasknowntobeenormous。
AtthismomentSophieenteredbringingwine,andIsawBourgonefslowlyturnhiseyesuponherwithalookwhichthenwasmysterioustome,butwhichnowspoketooplainlyitsdreadfulmeaning。
Whatisthereinalook,youwillsay?Perhapsnothing;oritmaybeeverything。Tomyunsuspecting,unenlightenedperception,Bourgonef’sgazewassimplythemelancholyandhalf-curiousgazewhichsuchamanmightbesupposedtocastuponayoungwomanwhohadbeenmadethetopicofaninterestingdiscourse。Buttomymind,enlightenedastohischaracter,andinstructedastohispeculiarfeelingsarisingfromhisownstory,thegazewaschargedwithhorror。Itmarkedavictim。Thewholesuccessionofeventsrosebeforemeinvividdistinctness;theseparatedetailsofsuspiciongatheredintounity。
GreataswasBourgonef’scommandoverhisfeatures,hecouldnotconcealuneasinessaswellassurpriseatmyappearanceatthetabled’hoteinMunich。Ishookhandswithhim,puttingonasfriendlyamaskasIcould,andrepliedtohisquestionaboutmysuddenreturnbyattributingittounexpectedintelligencereceivedatSalzburg。”Nothingserious,Ihope?””Well,I’mafraiditwillproveveryserious,”Isaid。”Butweshallsee。MeanwhilemyvisittotheTyrolmustbegivenuporpostponed。””Doyouremainhere,then?””Idon’tknowwhatmymovementswillbe。”
ThusIhadpreparedhimforanyreserveorstrangenessinmymanner;andIhadconcealedfromhimthecourseofmymovements;
foratwhatevercost,Iwasresolvedtofollowhimandbringhimtojustice。
Buthow?EvidenceIhadnonethatcouldsatisfyanyoneelse,howeverconvincingitmightbetomyownmind。NordidthereseemanyevidenceforthcomingfromGrosshesslohe。Sophie’sbodyhadbeenfoundintheafternoonlyingasifasleepinoneoftheby-
pathsofthewood。Nomarksofastruggle;notracesofthemurderer。Heraffiancedlover,whowasatAugsburg,onhearingofherfate,hurriedtoGrosshesslohe,butcouldthrownolightonthemurder,couldgivenohintastoapossiblemotiveforthedeed。
Butthisentireabsenceofevidence,orevengroundofsuspicion,onlymadeMYcasethestronger。ItwasthemotivelessmalignityofthedeedwhichfasteneditonBourgonef;orrather,itwastheabsenceofanyknownmotiveelsewherewhichassuredmethatIhaddetectedthemotiveinhim。
ShouldIcommunicatemyconvictiontothepolice?ItwaspossiblethatImightimpressthemwithatleastsufficientsuspiciontowarranthisexamination——andinthatcasethetruthmightbeelicited;foramongthemanybarbaritiesandiniquitiesofthecriminalprocedureinContinentalStateswhichoftenpressheavilyontheinnocent,thereisthiscompensatingadvantage,thatthepressureontheguiltyistenfoldheavier。Iftheinnocentareoftenunjustlypunished——imprisonedandmaltreatedbeforetheirinnocencecanbeestablished——theguiltyseldomescape。InEnglandwegivethecriminalnotonlyeverychanceofescape,butmanyadvantages。Theloveoffair-playiscarriedtoexcess。Itseemsattimesasifthewholearrangementsofourprocedurewereestablishedwithaviewtogivingacriminalnotonlythebenefitofeverydoubt,butofeveryloopholethroughwhichhecanslip。
Insteadofthis,theContinentalproceduregoesontheprincipleofclosingupeveryloophole,andofinventingendlesstrapsintowhichtheaccusedmayfall。Wewarntheaccusednottosayanythingthatmaybeprejudicialtohim。Theyentanglehimincontradictionsandconfessionswhichdisclosehisguilt。
Knowingthis,Ithoughtitverylikelythat,howeverartfulBourgonefmightbe,asevereexaminationmightextortfromhimsufficientconfirmationofmysuspiciontowarrantfurtherprocedure。ButknowingalsothatTHISresortwasopentomewhenallothershadfailed,Iresolvedtowaitandwatch。
IX
FINALE
Twodayspassed,andnothingoccurred。Mywatchingseemedhopeless,andIresolvedtotrytheeffectofadisguisedinterrogatory。Itmighthelptoconfirmmyalreadysettledconviction,ifitdidnotelicitanynewevidence。
SeatedinBourgonef’sroom,intheoldplace,eachwithacigar,andchattingasofoldonpublicaffairs,Igraduallyapproachedthesubjectoftherecentmurder。”Isitnotstrange,”Isaid,”thatboththesecrimesshouldhavehappenedwhilewewerecasuallystayinginbothplaces?””Perhapswearethecriminals,”hereplied,laughing。Ishiveredslightlyatthisaudacity。Helaughedashespoke,buttherewasahard,metallic,andalmostdefianttoneinhisvoicewhichexasperatedme。”Perhapsweare,”Ianswered,quietly。Helookedfullatme;butI
wasprepared,andmyfacetoldnothing。Iadded,asinexplanation,”Thecrimebeingapparentlycontagious,wemayhavebroughttheinfectionfromNuremberg。””Doyoubelieveinthathypothesisofimitation?””Idon’tknowwhattobelieve。Doyoubelieveintherebeingonlyonemurderer?Itseemssuchapreposterousidea。Wemustsupposehim,atanyrate,tobeamaniac。””Notnecessarily。Indeedthereseemstohavebeentoomuchartfulcontrivanceinbothaffairs,notonlyintheselectionofthevictims,butintheexecutionoftheschemes。Cunningasmaniacsoftenaretheyarestillmaniacs,andbetraythemselves。””Ifnotamaniac,”saidI,hopingtopiquehim,”hemustbeamanofstupendousandpitiablevanity,——perhapsoneofyourconstant-
mindedfriends,whomyourefusetocallbloodthirsty。””Constant-minded,perhaps;butwhypitiablyvain?””Why?Becauseonlyadiseasedatrocityofimagination,stimulatinganatureessentiallybaseandweakinitsdesiretomakeitselfconspicuous,wouldorcouldsuggestsuchthings。Thesillyyouthwho’firedtheEphesiandome,’thevainidiotwhosetfiretoYorkMinster,themiserableFrenchmenwhohavecommittedmurderandsuicidewithaviewofmakingtheirexitstrikingfromaworldinwhichtheirappearancehadbeencontemptible,wouldallsinkintoinsignificancebesidethetoweringinfamyofbasenesswhich——forthemereloveofproducinganeffectonthemindsofmen,andthusdrawingtheirattentionuponhim,whichotherwisewouldneverhavemarkedhimatall——couldschemeandexecutecrimessohorribleandinexcusable。Incommoncharitytohumannature,letussupposethewretchismad;becauseotherwisehismiserablevanitywouldbetooloathsome。”Ispokewithwarmthandbitterness,whichincreasedasIperceivedhimwincingunderthedegradationofmycontempt。”IfhismotiveWEREvanity,”hesaid,”nodoubtitwouldbehorrible;butmayitnothavebeenrevenge?””Revenge!”Iexclaimed;”what!oninnocentwomen?””Youassumetheirinnocence。””GoodGod!doyouknowanythingtothecontrary?””NotI。Butasweareconjecturing,Imayaswellconjectureittohavebeenthedesiretoproduceastartlingeffect。””Howdoyoujustifyyourconjecture?””Simplyenough。Wehavetosupposeamotive;letussayitwasrevenge,andseewhetherthatwillfurnishaclue。””Butitcan’t。Thetwovictimswerewhollyunconnectedwitheachotherbyanyintermediateacquaintances,consequentlytherecanhavebeennocommonwrongorcommonenmityinexistencetofurnishfoodforvengeance。””Thatmaybeso;itmayalsobethattheavengermadethemvicariousvictims。””Howso?””Itishumannature。Didyoueverobserveathwartedchildstrikinginitsangertheunoffendingnurse,destroyingitstoystodischargeitswrath?Didyoueverseeaschoolboy,unabletowreakhisangeronthebiggerboywhohasjuststruckhim,turnagainstthenearestsmallerboyandbeathim?Didyoueverknowaschoolmaster,angeredbyoneoftheboy’sparents,venthispent-upspleenupontheunoffendingclass?Didyoueverseeasubalternpunishedbecauseanofficerhadbeenreprimanded?Thesearefamiliarexamplesofvicariousvengeance。Whenthesoulisstungtofury,itmustsolaceitselfbythedischargeofthatfury——itmustrelieveitspainbythesightofpaininothers。Wearesoconstituted。Weneedsympathyaboveallthings。Injoywecannotbeartoseeothersindistress;indistressweseethejoyofotherswithdismalenvywhichsharpensourpain。Thatishumannature。””And,”Iexclaimed,carriedawaybymyindignation,”yousupposethatthesightofthesetwohappygirls,beamingwiththequietjoyofbrides,wastorturetosomemiserablewretchwhohadlosthisbride。”
Ihadgonetoofar。Hiseyeslookedintomine。Ireadinhisthathedivinedthewholedriftofmysuspicion——theallusionmadetohimself。Thereoftenpassesintoalookmorethanwordscanventuretoexpress。Inthatlookhereadthathewasdiscovered,andIreadthathehadrecognizedit。Withperfectcalmness,butwithametallicringinhisvoicewhichwasliketheclashofswords,hesaid:”IdidnotsaythatIsupposedthis;butaswewereonthewidefieldofconjecture——utterlywithoutevidenceonewayortheother,havingnoclueeithertothemanorhismotives——Idrewfromthegeneralprinciplesofhumannatureaconclusionwhichwasjustasplausible——orabsurdifyoulike——astheconclusionthatthemotivemusthavebeenvanity。””Asyousay,weareutterlywithoutevidence,andconjecturedriftsaimlesslyfromonethingtoanother。Afterall,themostplausibleexplanationisthatofacontagionofimitation。”
Isaidthisinordertocovermypreviousimprudence。Hewasnotdeceived——thoughforafewmomentsIfanciedhewas——butreplied:”Iamnotpersuadedofthateither。Thewholethingisamystery,andIshallstayheresometimeinthehopeofseeingitclearedup。Meanwhile,forasubjectofconjecture,letmeshowyousomethingonwhichyouringenuitymayprofitablybeemployed。”
Heroseandpassedintohisbedroom。Iheardhimunlockingandrummagingthedrawers,andwassilentlyreproachingmyselfformywantofcautioninhavingspokenasIhaddone,thoughitwasnowbeyondalldoubtthathewasthemurderer,andthathismotivehadbeenrightlyguessed;butwiththisself-reproachtherewasmingledaself-gratulationatthewayIhadgotoutofthedifficulty,asI
fancied。
Hereturned,andashesatdownInoticedthatthelowerpartofhissurtoutwasopen。Healwaysworealongfroggedandbraidedcoatreachingtotheknees——asInowknow,forthepurposeofconcealingthearmwhichhungashesaid,witheredathisside。
Thetwolastfasteningswerenowundone。
Heheldinhishandatinychainmadeofverydelicatewire。Thishegaveme,saying:”Nowwhatwouldyouconjecturethattobe?””Haditcomeintomyhandswithoutanyremark,Ishouldhavesaiditwassimplyaveryexquisitebitofironwork;butyourquestionpointstosomethingmoreoutoftheway。””ItISiron-work,”hesaid。
CouldIbedeceived?Athirdfasteningofhissurtoutwasundone!
Ihadseenbuttwoamomentago。”AndwhatamItoconjecture?”Iasked。”Wherethatironcamefrom?ItwasNOTfromamine。”Ilookedatitagain,andexamineditattentively。Onraisingmyeyesininquiry——fortunatelywithanexpressionofsurprise,sincewhatmetmyeyeswouldhavestartledacoolerman——Isawthefourthfasteningundone!”Youlooksurprised,”hecontinued,”andwillbemoresurprisedwhenItellyouthattheironinyourhandsoncefloatedinthecirculationofaman。Itismadefromhumanblood。””Humanblood!”Imurmured。
Hewentonexpoundingthephysiologicalwondersoftheblood,——howitcarried,dissolvedinitscurrents,aproportionofironandearths;howthisironwasextractedbychemistsandexhibitedasacuriosity;andhowthischainhadbeenmanufacturedfromsuchextracts。Iheardeveryword,butmythoughtswerehurryingtoandfrointheagitationofasuprememoment。Thattherewasadaggerunderneaththatcoat——thatinafewmomentsitwouldflashforth——
thatadeath-strugglewasathand,——Iknewwell。Mysafetydependedonpresenceofmind。Thatincalculablerapiditywithwhich,incriticalmoments,themindsurveysalltheopeningsandresourcesofanemergency,hadassuredmethattherewasnoweaponwithinreach——thatbeforeIcouldgiveanalarmthetigerwouldbeatmythroat,andthatmyonlychancewastokeepmyeyesfixeduponhim,readytospringonhimthemomentthenextfasteningwasundone,andbeforehecouldusehisarm。
Atlasttheideaoccurredtome,thatas,withawildbeast,safetyliesinattackinghimjustbeforeheattacksyou,sowiththisbeastmybestchancewasaudacity。Lookingsteadilyintohisface,Isaidslowly:”Andyouwouldliketohavesuchachainmadefrommyblood。”I
roseasIspoke。Heremainedsitting,butwasevidentlytakenaback。”Whatdoyoumean?”hesaid。”Imean,”saidI,sternly,”thatyourcoatisunfastened,andthatifanotherfasteningisloosenedinmypresence,Ifellyoutotheearth。””You’reafool!”heexclaimed。
Imovedtowardsthedoor,keepingmyeyefixeduponhimashesatpaleandglaringatme。”YOUareafool,”Isaid——”andworse,ifyoustir。”
Atthismoment,Iknownotbywhatsense,asifIhadeyesatthebackofmyhead,Iwasawareofsomeonemovingbehindme,yetI
darednotlookaside。Suddenlytwomightyfoldsofdarknessseemedtoenvelopmelikearms。Apowerfulscentascendedmynostrils。
Therewasaringinginmyears,abeatingatmyheart。Darknesscameon,deeperanddeeper,likehugewaves。Iseemedgrowingtogiganticstature。Thewavesrolledonfasterandfaster。Theringingbecamearoaring。Thebeatingbecameathrobbing。Lightsflashedacrossthedarkness。Formsmovedbeforeme。Oncamethewaveshurryinglikeatide,andIsankdeeperanddeeperintothismightyseaofdarkness。Thenallwassilent。Consciousnesswasstill……
HowlongIremainedunconscious,Icannottell。Butitmusthavebeensomeconsiderabletime。Whenconsciousnessoncemorebegantodawnwithinme,Ifoundmyselflyingonabedsurroundedbyagroupofeager,watchingfaces,andbecameawareofaconfusedmurmurofwhisperinggoingonaroundme。”ErLebt”heliveswerethewordswhichgreetedmyopeningeyes——wordswhichIrecognizedascomingfrommylandlord。