Paulwasrawandirritable。Healsoweariedhismotherveryoften。
Shesawthesunshinegoingoutofhim,andsheresentedit。
Astheywerefinishingbreakfastcamethepostmanwithaletter,fromDerby。Mrs。Morelscreweduphereyestolookattheaddress。
“Giveithere,blindeye!”exclaimedherson,snatchingit,awayfromher。
Shestarted,andalmostboxedhisears。
“It’sfromyourson,Arthur,“hesaid。
“Whatnow——!”criedMrs。Morel。
“’MydearestMother,’“Paulread,“’Idon’tknowwhatmade,mesuchafool。Iwantyoutocomeandfetchmebackfromhere。
IcamewithJackBredonyesterday,insteadofgoingtowork,andenlisted。Hesaidhewassickofwearingtheseatofastoolout,and,liketheidiotyouknowIam,Icameawaywithhim。
“’IhavetakentheKing’sshilling,butperhapsifyou,cameformetheywouldletmegobackwithyou。Iwasafool,whenIdidit。Idon’twanttobeinthearmy。Mydearmother,Iamnothingbutatroubletoyou。Butifyougetmeoutofthis,IpromiseIwillhavemoresenseandconsideration……’“
Mrs。Morelsatdowninherrocking-chair。
“Well,NOW,“shecried,“lethimstop!”
“Yes,“saidPaul,“lethimstop。”
Therewassilence。Themothersatwithherhandsfolded,inherapron,herfaceset,thinking。
“IfI’mnotSICK!”shecriedsuddenly。”Sick!”
“Now,“saidPaul,beginningtofrown,“you’renotgoing,toworryyoursouloutaboutthis,doyouhear。”
“IsupposeI’mtotakeitasablessing,“sheflashed,turningonherson。
“You’renotgoingtomountituptoatragedy,sothere,“
heretorted。
“TheFOOL!——theyoungfool!”shecried。
“He’lllookwellinuniform,“saidPaulirritatingly。
Hismotherturnedonhimlikeafury。
“Oh,willhe!”shecried。”Notinmyeyes!”
“Heshouldgetinacavalryregiment;he’llhavethetime,ofhislife,andwilllookanawfulswell。”
“Swell!——SWELL!——amightyswellideaindeed!——acommonsoldier!”
“Well,“saidPaul,“whatamIbutacommonclerk?”
“Agooddeal,myboy!”criedhismother,stung。
“What?”
“Atanyrate,aMAN,andnotathinginaredcoat。”
“Ishouldn’tmindbeinginaredcoat——ordarkblue,thatwould,suitmebetter——iftheydidn’tbossmeabouttoomuch。”
Buthismotherhadceasedtolisten。
“Justashewasgettingon,ormighthavebeengettingon,athisjob——ayoungnuisance——herehegoesandruinshimselfforlife。
Whatgoodwillhebe,doyouthink,afterTHIS?”
“Itmaylickhimintoshapebeautifully,“saidPaul。
“Lickhimintoshape!——lickwhatmarrowthereWASoutofhisbones。
ASOLDIER!——acommonSOLDIER!——nothingbutabodythatmakesmovements,whenithearsashout!,It’safinething!”
“Ican’tunderstandwhyitupsetsyou,“saidPaul。
“No,perhapsyoucan’t。ButIunderstand“;andshesatback,inherchair,herchininonehand,holdingherelbowwiththeother,brimmedupwithwrathandchagrin。
“AndshallyougotoDerby?”askedPaul。
“Yes。”
“It’snogood。”
“I’llseeformyself。”
“Andwhyonearthdon’tyoulethimstop。It’sjustwhat,hewants。”
“Ofcourse,“criedthemother,“YOUknowwhathewants!”
ShegotreadyandwentbythefirsttraintoDerby,whereshe,sawhersonandthesergeant。Itwas,however,nogood。
WhenMorelwashavinghisdinnerintheevening,shesaidsuddenly:
“I’vehadtogotoDerbyto-day。”
Theminerturneduphiseyes,showingthewhitesinhisblackface。
“Haster,lass。Whattooktheethere?”
“ThatArthur!”
“Oh——an’what’sagatenow?”
“He’sonlyenlisted。”
Morelputdownhisknifeandleanedbackinhischair。
“Nay,“hesaid,“thatheniver’as!”
“AndisgoingdowntoAldershottomorrow。”
“Well!”exclaimedtheminer。”That’sawinder。”,Heconsidered,itamoment,said“H’m!”andproceededwithhisdinner。Suddenlyhis,facecontractedwithwrath。”Ihopehemayneversetfooti’
myhouseagain,“hesaid。
“Theidea!”criedMrs。Morel。”Sayingsuchathing!”
“Ido,“repeatedMorel。”Afoolasrunsawayforasoldier,let’imlookafter’issen;Is’lldonomorefor’im。”
“Afatsightyouhavedoneasitis,“shesaid。
AndMorelwasalmostashamedtogotohispublic-house,thatevening。
“Well,didyougo?”saidPaultohismotherwhenhecamehome。
“Idid。”
“Andcouldyouseehim?”
“Yes。”
“Andwhatdidhesay?”
“HeblubberedwhenIcameaway。”
“H’m!”
“AndsodidI,soyouneedn’t’h’m’!”
Mrs。Morelfrettedafterherson。Sheknewhewouldnot,likethearmy。Hedidnot。Thedisciplinewasintolerabletohim。
“Butthedoctor,“shesaidwithsomepridetoPaul,“saidhe,wasperfectlyproportioned——almostexactly;allhismeasurements,werecorrect。HeISgood-looking,youknow。”
“He’sawfullynice-looking。Buthedoesn’tfetchthegirls,likeWilliam,doeshe?”
“No;it’sadifferentcharacter。He’sagooddeallike,hisfather,irresponsible。”
Toconsolehismother,PauldidnotgomuchtoWilley,Farmatthistime。Andintheautumnexhibitionofstudents’
workintheCastlehehadtwostudies,alandscapeinwater-colour,andastilllifeinoil,bothofwhichhadfirst-prizeawards。
Hewashighlyexcited。
“WhatdoyouthinkI’vegotformypictures,mother?”heasked,cominghomeoneevening。Shesawbyhiseyeshewasglad。
Herfaceflushed。
“Now,howshouldIknow,myboy!”
“Afirstprizeforthoseglassjars——“
“H’m!”
“AndafirstprizeforthatsketchupatWilleyFarm。”
“Bothfirst?”
“Yes。”
“H’m!”
Therewasarosy,brightlookabouther,thoughshesaidnothing。
“It’snice,“hesaid,“isn’tit?”
“Itis。”
“Whydon’tyoupraisemeuptotheskies?”
Shelaughed。
“Ishouldhavethetroubleofdraggingyoudownagain,“
shesaid。
Butshewasfullofjoy,nevertheless。Williamhadbrought,herhissportingtrophies。Shekeptthemstill,andshedidnot,forgivehisdeath。Arthurwashandsome——atleast,agoodspecimen——andwarm,andgenerous,andprobablywoulddowellintheend。ButPaul,wasgoingtodistinguishhimself。Shehadagreatbeliefinhim,themorebecausehewasunawareofhisownpowers。Therewas,somuchtocomeoutofhim。Lifeforherwasrichwithpromise。
Shewastoseeherselffulfilled。Notfornothinghadbeen,herstruggle。
SeveraltimesduringtheexhibitionMrs。Morelwenttothe,CastleunknowntoPaul。Shewandereddownthelongroomlooking,attheotherexhibits。Yes,theyweregood。Buttheyhadnotin,themacertainsomethingwhichshedemandedforhersatisfaction。
Somemadeherjealous,theyweresogood。Shelookedatthem,alongtimetryingtofindfaultwiththem。Thensuddenlyshe,hadashockthatmadeherheartbeat。TherehungPaul’spicture!
Sheknewitasifitwereprintedonherheart。
“Name——PaulMorel——FirstPrize。”
Itlookedsostrange,thereinpublic,onthewallsofthe,Castlegallery,whereinherlifetimeshehadseensomanypictures。
Andsheglancedroundtoseeifanyonehadnoticedheragaininfront,ofthesamesketch。
Butshefeltaproudwoman。Whenshemetwell-dressedladies,goinghometothePark,shethoughttoherself:
“Yes,youlookverywell——butIwonderifYOURsonhastwo,firstprizesintheCastle。”
Andshewalkedon,asproudalittlewomanasanyinNottingham。
AndPaulfelthehaddonesomethingforher,ifonlyatrifle。
Allhisworkwashers。
Oneday,ashewasgoingupCastleGate,hemetMiriam。Hehad,seenherontheSunday,andhadnotexpectedtomeetherintown。
Shewaswalkingwitharatherstrikingwoman,blonde,withasullen,expression,andadefiantcarriage。ItwasstrangehowMiriam,inherbowed,meditativebearing,lookeddwarfedbesidethiswoman,withthehandsomeshoulders。MiriamwatchedPaulsearchingly。
Hisgazewasonthestranger,whoignoredhim。Thegirlsawhis,masculinespiritrearitshead。
“Hello!”hesaid,“youdidn’ttellmeyouwerecomingtotown。”
“No,“repliedMiriam,halfapologetically。”Idrove,intoCattleMarketwithfather。”
Helookedathercompanion。
“I’vetoldyouaboutMrs。Dawes,“saidMiriamhuskily;
shewasnervous。”Clara,doyouknowPaul?”
“IthinkI’veseenhimbefore,“repliedMrs。Dawesindifferently,assheshookhandswithhim。Shehadscornfulgreyeyes,askin,likewhitehoney,andafullmouth,withaslightlyliftedupper,lipthatdidnotknowwhetheritwasraisedinscornofallmen,oroutofeagernesstobekissed,butwhichbelievedtheformer。
Shecarriedherheadback,asifshehaddrawnawayincontempt,perhapsfrommenalso。Sheworealarge,dowdyhatofblackbeaver,andasortofslightlyaffectedsimpledressthatmadeherlook,rathersack-like。Shewasevidentlypoor,andhadnotmuchtaste。
Miriamusuallylookednice。
“Wherehaveyouseenme?”Paulaskedofthewoman。
Shelookedathimasifshewouldnottroubletoanswer。Then:
“WalkingwithLouieTravers,“shesaid。
Louiewasoneofthe“Spiral“girls。
“Why,doyouknowher?”heasked。
Shedidnotanswer。HeturnedtoMiriam。
“Whereareyougoing?”heasked。
“TotheCastle。”
“Whattrainareyougoinghomeby?”
“Iamdrivingwithfather。Iwishyoucouldcometoo。
Whattimeareyoufree?”
“Youknownottilleightto-night,damnit!”
Anddirectlythetwowomenmovedon。
PaulrememberedthatClaraDaweswasthedaughterofanold,friendofMrs。Leivers。Miriamhadsoughtheroutbecauseshe,hadoncebeenSpiraloverseeratJordan’s,andbecauseherhusband,BaxterDawes,wassmithforthefactory,makingtheironsfor,crippleinstruments,andsoon。ThroughherMiriamfeltshegot,intodirectcontactwithJordan’s,andcouldestimatebetter,Paul’sposition。ButMrs。Daweswasseparatedfromherhusband,andhadtakenupWomen’sRights。Shewassupposedtobeclever。
ItinterestedPaul。
BaxterDawesheknewanddisliked。Thesmithwasaman,ofthirty-oneorthirty-two。HecameoccasionallythroughPaul’s,corner——abig,well-setman,alsostrikingtolookat,andhandsome。
Therewasapeculiarsimilaritybetweenhimselfandhiswife。
Hehadthesamewhiteskin,withaclear,goldentinge。Hishair,wasofsoftbrown,hismoustachewasgolden。Andhehadasimilar,defianceinhisbearingandmanner。Butthencamethedifference。
Hiseyes,darkbrownandquick-shifting,weredissolute。
Theyprotrudedveryslightly,andhiseyelidshungoverthemina,waythatwashalfhate。Hismouth,too,wassensual。Hiswhole,mannerwasofcoweddefiance,asifhewerereadytoknockanybody,downwhodisapprovedofhim——perhapsbecausehereallydisapproved,ofhimself。
FromthefirstdayhehadhatedPaul。Findingthelad’simpersonal,deliberategazeofanartistonhisface,hegotintoafury。
“Whatareyerlookin’at?”hesneered,bullying。
Theboyglancedaway。Butthesmithusedtostandbehind,thecounterandtalktoMr。Pappleworth。Hisspeechwasdirty,withakindofrottenness。Againhefoundtheyouthwithhiscool,criticalgazefixedonhisface。Thesmithstartedroundasifhe,hadbeenstung。
“What’ryerlookin’at,threehap’ortho’pap?”hesnarled。
Theboyshruggedhisshouldersslightly。
“Whyyer——!”shoutedDawes。
“Leavehimalone,“saidMr。Pappleworth,inthatinsinuating,voicewhichmeans,“He’sonlyoneofyourgoodlittlesopswhocan’t,helpit。”
Sincethattimetheboyusedtolookatthemaneverytime,hecamethroughwiththesamecuriouscriticism,glancingaway,beforehemetthesmith’seye。ItmadeDawesfurious。Theyhated,eachotherinsilence。
ClaraDaweshadnochildren。Whenshehadleftherhusbandthe,homehadbeenbrokenup,andshehadgonetolivewithhermother。
Daweslodgedwithhissister。Inthesamehousewasasister-in-law,and,somehowPaulknewthatthisgirl,LouieTravers,wasnowDawes’swoman。
Shewasahandsome,insolenthussy,whomockedattheyouth,andyet,flushedifhewalkedalongtothestationwithherasshewenthome。
ThenexttimehewenttoseeMiriamitwasSaturdayevening。
Shehadafireintheparlour,andwaswaitingforhim。Theothers,exceptherfatherandmotherandtheyoungchildren,hadgoneout,sothetwohadtheparlourtogether。Itwasalong,low,warmroom。
TherewerethreeofPaul’ssmallsketchesonthewall,andhisphotowas,onthemantelpiece。Onthetableandonthehighold,rosewoodpianowerebowlsofcolouredleaves。Hesatinthearmchair,shecrouchedonthehearthrugnearhisfeet。Theglowwaswarm,onherhandsome,pensivefaceasshekneeledtherelikeadevotee。
“WhatdidyouthinkofMrs。Dawes?”sheaskedquietly。
“Shedoesn’tlookveryamiable,“hereplied。
“No,butdon’tyouthinkshe’safinewoman?”shesaid,inadeeptone,“Yes——instature。Butwithoutagrainoftaste。Ilikeher,forsomethings。ISshedisagreeable?”
“Idon’tthinkso。Ithinkshe’sdissatisfied。”
“Whatwith?”
“Well——howwouldyouliketobetiedforlifetoamanlikethat?”
“Whydidshemarryhim,then,ifshewastohaverevulsions,sosoon?”
“Ay,whydidshe!”repeatedMiriambitterly。
“AndIshouldhavethoughtshehadenoughfightinher,tomatchhim,“hesaid。
Miriambowedherhead。
“Ay?”shequeriedsatirically。”Whatmakesyouthinkso?”
“Lookathermouth——madeforpassion——andtheverysetback,ofherthroat——“HethrewhisheadbackinClara’sdefiantmanner。
Miriambowedalittlelower。
“Yes,“shesaid。
Therewasasilenceforsomemoments,whilehethoughtofClara。
“Andwhatwerethethingsyoulikedabouther?”sheasked。
“Idon’tknow——herskinandthetextureofher——andher——Idon’t,know——there’sasortoffiercenesssomewhereinher。Iappreciate,herasanartist,that’sall。”
“Yes。”
HewonderedwhyMiriamcrouchedtherebroodinginthatstrangeway。
Itirritatedhim。
“Youdon’treallylikeher,doyou?”heaskedthegirl。
Shelookedathimwithhergreat,dazzleddarkeyes。
“Ido,“shesaid。
“Youdon’t——youcan’t——notreally。”
“Thenwhat?”sheaskedslowly。
“Eh,Idon’tknow——perhapsyoulikeherbecauseshe’sgotagrudge,againstmen。”
Thatwasmoreprobablyoneofhisownreasonsforliking,Mrs。Dawes,butthisdidnotoccurtohim。Theyweresilent。
Therehadcomeintohisforeheadaknittingofthebrowswhichwas,becominghabitualwithhim,particularlywhenhewaswithMiriam。
Shelongedtosmoothitaway,andshewasafraidofit。Itseemed,thestampofamanwhowasnothermaninPaulMorel。
Thereweresomecrimsonberriesamongtheleavesinthebowl。
Hereachedoverandpulledoutabunch。
“Ifyouputredberriesinyourhair,“hesaid,“whywould,youlooklikesomewitchorpriestess,andneverlikeareveller?”
Shelaughedwithanaked,painfulsound。
“Idon’tknow,“shesaid。
Hisvigorouswarmhandswereplayingexcitedlywiththeberries。
“Whycan’tyoulaugh?”hesaid。”Youneverlaughlaughter。
Youonlylaughwhensomethingisoddorincongruous,andthenit,almostseemstohurtyou。”
Shebowedherheadasifhewerescoldingher。
“Iwishyoucouldlaughatmejustforoneminute——just,foroneminute。Ifeelasifitwouldsetsomethingfree。”
“But“——andshelookedupathimwitheyesfrightened,andstruggling——“Idolaughatyou——IDO。”
“Never!,There’salwaysakindofintensity。Whenyoulaugh,Icouldalwayscry;itseemsasifitshowsupyoursuffering。
Oh,youmakemeknitthebrowsofmyverysoulandcogitate。”
Slowlysheshookherheaddespairingly。
“I’msureIdon’twantto,“shesaid。
“I’msodamnedspiritualwithYOUalways!”hecried。
Sheremainedsilent,thinking,“Thenwhydon’tyoubeotherwise。”
Buthesawhercrouching,broodingfigure,anditseemedtotear,himintwo。
“But,there,it’sautumn,“hesaid,“andeverybodyfeels,likeadisembodiedspiritthen。”
Therewasstillanothersilence。Thispeculiarsadness,betweenthemthrilledhersoul。Heseemedsobeautifulwithhis,eyesgonedark,andlookingasiftheyweredeepasthedeepestwell。
“Youmakemesospiritual!”helamented。”AndIdon’twant,tobespiritual。”
Shetookherfingerfromhermouthwithalittlepop,andlooked,upathimalmostchallenging。Butstillhersoulwasnakedinher,greatdarkeyes,andtherewasthesameyearningappealuponher。
Ifhecouldhavekissedherinabstractpurityhewouldhavedoneso。
Buthecouldnotkissherthus——andsheseemedtoleavenootherway。
Andsheyearnedtohim。
Hegaveabrieflaugh。
“Well,“hesaid,“getthatFrenchandwe’lldosome——someVerlaine。”
“Yes,“shesaidinadeeptone,almostofresignation。
Andsheroseandgotthebooks。Andherratherred,nervoushands,lookedsopitiful,hewasmadtocomfortherandkissher。Butthen,bedarednot——orcouldnot。Therewassomethingpreventedhim。
Hiskisseswerewrongforher。Theycontinuedthereadingtillten,o’clock,whentheywentintothekitchen,andPaulwasnaturalandjolly,againwiththefatherandmother。Hiseyesweredarkandshining;
therewasakindoffascinationabouthim。
Whenhewentintothebarnforhisbicyclehefoundthefront,wheelpunctured。
“Fetchmeadropofwaterinabowl,“hesaidtoher。
“Ishallbelate,andthenIs’llcatchit。”
Helightedthehurricanelamp,tookoffhiscoat,turnedup,thebicycle,andsetspeedilytowork。Miriamcamewiththebowl,ofwaterandstoodclosetohim,watching。Shelovedtosee,hishandsdoingthings。Hewasslimandvigorous,withakind,ofeasinesseveninhismosthastymovements。Andbusyathiswork,heseemedtoforgether。Shelovedhimabsorbedly。Shewanted,torunherhandsdownhissides。Shealwayswantedtoembracehim,solongashedidnotwanther。
“There!”hesaid,risingsuddenly。”Now,couldyouhavedone,itquicker?”
“No!”shelaughed。
Hestraightenedhimself。Hisbackwastowardsher。Sheput,hertwohandsonhissides,andranthemquicklydown。
“YouaresoFINE!”shesaid。
Helaughed,hatinghervoice,buthisbloodrousedtoawave,offlamebyherhands。ShedidnotseemtorealiseHIMinallthis。
Hemighthavebeenanobject。Sheneverrealisedthemalehewas。
Helightedhisbicycle-lamp,bouncedthemachineonthebarn,floortoseethatthetyresweresound,andbuttonedhiscoat。
“That’sallright!”hesaid。
Shewastryingthebrakes,thatsheknewwerebroken。
“Didyouhavethemmended?”sheasked。
“No!”
“Butwhydidn’tyou?”
“Thebackonegoesonabit。”
“Butit’snotsafe。”
“Icanusemytoe。”
“Iwishyou’dhadthemmended,“shemurmured。
“Don’tworry——cometoteatomorrow,withEdgar。”
“Shallwe?”
“Do——aboutfour。I’llcometomeetyou。”
“Verywell。”
Shewaspleased。Theywentacrossthedarkyardtothegate。
Lookingacross,hesawthroughtheuncurtainedwindowofthe,kitchentheheadsofMr。andMrs。Leiversinthewarmglow。
Itlookedverycosy。Theroad,withpinetrees,wasquiteblack,infront。
“Tilltomorrow,“hesaid,jumpingonhisbicycle。
“You’lltakecare,won’tyou?”shepleaded。
“Yes。”
Hisvoicealreadycameoutofthedarkness。Shestoodamoment,watchingthelightfromhislampraceintoobscurityalongtheground。
Sheturnedveryslowlyindoors。Orionwaswheelingupoverthewood,hisdogtwinklingafterhim,halfsmothered。Fortheresttheworld,wasfullofdarkness,andsilent,saveforthebreathingofcattle,intheirstalls。Sheprayedearnestlyforhissafetythatnight。
Whenhelefther,sheoftenlayinanxiety,wonderingifhehadgot,homesafely。
Hedroppeddownthehillsonhisbicycle。Theroadsweregreasy,sohehadtoletitgo。Hefeltapleasureasthemachineplunged,overthesecond,steeperdropinthehill。”Heregoes!”hesaid。
Itwasrisky,becauseofthecurveinthedarknessatthebottom,andbecauseofthebrewers’waggonswithdrunkenwaggonersasleep。
Hisbicycleseemedtofallbeneathhim,andhelovedit。
Recklessnessisalmostaman’srevengeonhiswoman。
Hefeelsheisnotvalued,sohewillriskdestroyinghimselfto,depriveheraltogether。
Thestarsonthelakeseemedtoleaplikegrasshoppers,silverupontheblackness,ashespunpast。Thentherewasthelong,climbhome。
“See,mother!”hesaid,ashethrewhertheberriesandleaves,ontothetable。
“H’m!”shesaid,glancingatthem,thenawayagain。
Shesatreading,alone,asshealwaysdid。
“Aren’ttheypretty?”
“Yes。”
Heknewshewascrosswithhim。Afterafewminuteshesaid:
“EdgarandMiriamarecomingtoteatomorrow。”
Shedidnotanswer。
“Youdon’tmind?”
Stillshedidnotanswer。
“Doyou?”heasked。
“YouknowwhetherImindornot。”
“Idon’tseewhyyoushould。Ihaveplentyofmealsthere。”
“Youdo。”
“Thenwhydoyoubegrudgethemtea?”
“Ibegrudgewhomtea?”
“Whatareyousohorridfor?”
“Oh,saynomore!,You’veaskedhertotea,it’squitesufficient。
She’llcome。”
Hewasveryangrywithhismother。Heknewitwasmerely,Miriamsheobjectedto。Heflungoffhisbootsandwenttobed。
Paulwenttomeethisfriendsthenextafternoon。Hewasglad,toseethemcoming。Theyarrivedhomeataboutfouro’clock。
EverywherewascleanandstillforSundayafternoon。Mrs。Morelsat,inherblackdressandblackapron。Sherosetomeetthevisitors。
WithEdgarshewascordial,butwithMiriamcoldandrathergrudging。
YetPaulthoughtthegirllookedsoniceinherbrowncashmerefrock。
Hehelpedhismothertogettheteaready。Miriamwouldhave,gladlyproffered,butwasafraid。Hewasratherproudofhishome。
Therewasaboutitnow,hethought,acertaindistinction。
Thechairswereonlywooden,andthesofawasold。Butthehearthrug,andcushionswerecosy;thepictureswereprintsingoodtaste;
therewasasimplicityineverything,andplentyofbooks。
Hewasneverashamedintheleastofhishome,norwasMiriam,ofhers,becausebothwerewhattheyshouldbe,andwarm。
Andthenhewasproudofthetable;thechinawaspretty,theclothwasfine。Itdidnotmatterthatthespoonswerenot,silvernortheknivesivory-handled;everythinglookednice。
Mrs。Morelhadmanagedwonderfullywhileherchildrenweregrowingup,sothatnothingwasoutofplace。
Miriamtalkedbooksalittle。Thatwasherunfailingtopic。
ButMrs。Morelwasnotcordial,andturnedsoontoEdgar。
AtfirstEdgarandMiriamusedtogointoMrs。Morel’spew。
Morelneverwenttochapel,preferringthepublic-house。Mrs。Morel,likealittlechampion,satattheheadofherpew,Paulattheotherend;
andatfirstMiriamsatnexttohim。Thenthechapelwaslikehome。
Itwasaprettyplace,withdarkpewsandslim,elegantpillars,andflowers。Andthesamepeoplehadsatinthesameplacesever,sincehewasaboy。Itwaswonderfullysweetandsoothingtosit,thereforanhourandahalf,nexttoMiriam,andneartohismother,unitinghistwolovesunderthespelloftheplaceofworship。
Thenhefeltwarmandhappyandreligiousatonce。Andafter,chapelhewalkedhomewithMiriam,whilstMrs。Morelspenttherest,oftheeveningwithheroldfriend,Mrs。Burns。Hewaskeenly,aliveonhiswalksonSundaynightswithEdgarandMiriam。
Heneverwentpastthepitsatnight,bythelightedlamp-house,thetallblackheadstocksandlinesoftrucks,pastthefansspinning,slowlylikeshadows,withoutthefeelingofMiriamreturningtohim,keenandalmostunbearable。
ShedidnotverylongoccupytheMorels’pew。Herfathertook,oneforthemselvesoncemore。Itwasunderthelittlegallery,oppositetheMorels’。WhenPaulandhismothercameinthechapel,theLeivers’spewwasalwaysempty。Hewasanxiousforfearshewould,notcome:,itwassofar,andthereweresomanyrainySundays。
Then,oftenverylateindeed,shecamein,withherlongstride,herheadbowed,herfacehiddenunderherbatofdarkgreenvelvet。
Herface,asshesatopposite,wasalwaysinshadow。Butitgave,himaverykeenfeeling,asifallhissoulstirredwithinhim,toseeherthere。Itwasnotthesameglow,happiness,andpride,thathefeltinhavinghismotherincharge:,somethingmore,wonderful,lesshuman,andtingedtointensitybyapain,asifthereweresomethinghecouldnotgetto。
Atthistimehewasbeginningtoquestiontheorthodoxcreed。
Hewastwenty-one,andshewastwenty。Shewasbeginning,todreadthespring:,hebecamesowild,andhurthersomuch。
Allthewayhewentcruellysmashingherbeliefs。Edgarenjoyedit。
Hewasbynaturecriticalandratherdispassionate。ButMiriam,sufferedexquisitepain,as,withanintellectlikeaknife,theman,shelovedexaminedherreligioninwhichshelivedandmovedandhad,herbeing。Buthedidnotspareher。Hewascruel。Andwhenthey,wentalonehewasevenmorefierce,asifhewouldkillhersoul。
Hebledherbeliefstillshealmostlostconsciousness。
“Sheexults——sheexultsasshecarrieshimofffromme,“
Mrs。MorelcriedinherheartwhenPaulhadgone。”She’snot,likeanordinarywoman,whocanleavememyshareinhim。
Shewantstoabsorbhim。Shewantstodrawhimoutandabsorb,himtillthereisnothingleftofhim,evenforhimself。
Hewillneverbeamanonhisownfeet——shewillsuckhimup。”
Sothemothersat,andbattledandbroodedbitterly。
Andhe,cominghomefromhiswalkswithMiriam,waswild,withtorture。Hewalkedbitinghislipsandwithclenchedfists,goingatagreatrate。Then,broughtupagainstastile,hestoodfor,someminutes,anddidnotmove。Therewasagreathollowofdarkness,frontinghim,andontheblackupslopespatchesoftinylights,andinthelowesttroughofthenight,aflareofthepit。
Itwasallweirdanddreadful。Whywashetornso,almostbewildered,andunabletomove?,Whydidhismothersitathomeandsuffer?
Heknewshesufferedbadly。Butwhyshouldshe?,Andwhydid,hehateMiriam,andfeelsocrueltowardsher,atthethought,ofhismother。IfMiriamcausedhismothersuffering,thenhe,hatedher——andheeasilyhatedher。Whydidshemakehimfeel,asifhewereuncertainofhimself,insecure,anindefinitething,asifhehadnotsufficientsheathingtopreventthenightandthe,spacebreakingintohim?,Howhehatedher!,Andthen,whatarush,oftendernessandhumility!
Suddenlyheplungedonagain,runninghome。Hismother,sawonhimthemarksofsomeagony,andshesaidnothing。
Buthehadtomakehertalktohim。Thenshewasangrywithhim,forgoingsofarwithMiriam。
“Whydon’tyoulikeher,mother?”hecriedindespair。
“Idon’tknow,myboy,“sherepliedpiteously。”I’msureI’ve,triedtolikeher。I’vetriedandtried,butIcan’t——Ican’t!”
Andhefeltdrearyandhopelessbetweenthetwo。
Springwastheworsttime。Hewaschangeable,andintense,andcruel。Sohedecidedtostayawayfromher。Thencamethe,hourswhenheknewMiriamwasexpectinghim。Hismotherwatched,himgrowingrestless。Hecouldnotgoonwithhiswork。Hecould,donothing。Itwasasifsomethingweredrawinghissoulouttowards,WilleyFarm。Thenheputonhishatandwent,sayingnothing。
Andhismotherknewhewasgone。Andassoonashewasontheway,hesighedwithrelief。Andwhenhewaswithherhewascruelagain。
OnedayinMarchhelayonthebankofNethermere,withMiriam,sittingbesidehim。Itwasaglistening,white-and-blueday。
Bigclouds,sobrilliant,wentbyoverhead,whileshadowsstole,alongonthewater。Theclearspacesintheskywereofclean,coldblue。Paullayonhisbackintheoldgrass,lookingup。
HecouldnotbeartolookatMiriam。Sheseemedtowanthim,andheresisted。Heresistedallthetime。Hewantednowtogive,herpassionandtenderness,andhecouldnot。Hefeltthatshewanted,thesouloutofhisbody,andnothim。Allhisstrengthandenergy,shedrewintoherselfthroughsomechannelwhichunitedthem。
Shedidnotwanttomeethim,sothatthereweretwoofthem,manandwomantogether。Shewantedtodrawallofhimintoher。
Iturgedhimtoanintensitylikemadness,whichfascinatedhim,asdrug-takingmight。
HewasdiscussingMichaelAngelo。Itfelttoherasifshewere,fingeringtheveryquiveringtissue,theveryprotoplasmoflife,assheheardhim。Itgaveherdeepestsatisfaction。Andintheend,itfrightenedher。Therehelayinthewhiteintensityofhissearch,andhisvoicegraduallyfilledherwithfear,solevelitwas,almostinhuman,asifinatrance。
“Don’ttalkanymore,“shepleadedsoftly,layingherhand,onhisforehead。
Helayquitestill,almostunabletomove。Hisbodywas,somewherediscarded。
“Whynot?,Areyoutired?”
“Yes,anditwearsyouout。”
Helaughedshortly,realising。
“Yetyoualwaysmakemelikeit,“hesaid。
“Idon’twishto,“shesaid,verylow。
“Notwhenyou’vegonetoofar,andyoufeelyoucan’tbearit。
Butyourunconsciousselfalwaysasksitofme。AndIsupposeI
wantit。”
Hewenton,inhisdeadfashion:
“IfonlyyoucouldwantME,andnotwantwhatIcanreeloff,foryou!“
“I!”shecriedbitterly——“I!,Why,whenwouldyouletmetakeyou?”
“Thenit’smyfault,“hesaid,and,gatheringhimselftogether,hegotupandbegantotalktrivialities。Hefeltinsubstantial。
Inavaguewayhehatedherforit。Andheknewhewasasmuchto,blamehimself。This,however,didnotpreventhishatingher。
Oneeveningaboutthistimehehadwalkedalongthehomeroad,withher。Theystoodbythepastureleadingdowntothewood,unabletopart。Asthestarscameoutthecloudsclosed。Theyhad,glimpsesoftheirownconstellation,Orion,towardsthewest。
Hisjewelsglimmeredforamoment,hisdogranlow,strugglingwith,difficultythroughthespumeofcloud。
Orionwasforthemchiefinsignificanceamongtheconstellations。
Theyhadgazedathimintheirstrange,surchargedhoursoffeeling,untiltheyseemedthemselvestoliveineveryoneofhisstars。
ThiseveningPaulhadbeenmoodyandperverse。Orionhadseemedjust,anordinaryconstellationtohim。Hehadfoughtagainsthisglamour,andfascination。Miriamwaswatchingherlover’smoodcarefully。
Buthesaidnothingthatgavehimaway,tillthemomentcametopart,whenhestoodfrowninggloomilyatthegatheredclouds,behindwhich,thegreatconstellationmustbestridingstill。
Therewastobealittlepartyathishousethenextday,atwhichshewastoattend。
“Ishan’tcomeandmeetyou,“hesaid。
“Oh,verywell;it’snotveryniceout,“sherepliedslowly。
“It’snotthat——onlytheydon’tlikemeto。TheysayIcare,moreforyouthanforthem。Andyouunderstand,don’tyou?
Youknowit’sonlyfriendship。”
Miriamwasastonishedandhurtforhim。Ithadcosthiman,effort。Shelefthim,wantingtosparehimanyfurtherhumiliation。
Afinerainblewinherfaceasshewalkedalongtheroad。
Shewashurtdeepdown;andshedespisedhimforbeingblown,aboutbyanywindofauthority。Andinherheartofhearts,unconsciously,shefeltthathewastryingtogetawayfromher。
Thisshewouldneverhaveacknowledged。Shepitiedhim。
AtthistimePaulbecameanimportantfactorinJordan’swarehouse。
Mr。Pappleworthlefttosetupabusinessofhisown,andPaul,remainedwithMr。JordanasSpiraloverseer。Hiswageswere,toberaisedtothirtyshillingsattheyear-end,ifthingswentwell。
StillonFridaynightMiriamoftencamedownforherFrenchlesson。
PauldidnotgosofrequentlytoWilleyFarm,andshegrievedat,thethoughtofhereducation’scomingtoend;moreover,theyboth,lovedtobetogether,inspiteofdiscords。SotheyreadBalzac,anddidcompositions,andfelthighlycultured。
Fridaynightwasreckoningnightfortheminers。
Morel“reckoned“——sharedupthemoneyofthestall——eitherintheNewInn,atBrettyorinhisownhouse,accordingashisfellow-buttieswished。
Barkerhadturnedanon-drinker,sonowthemenreckonedatMorel’shouse。
Annie,whohadbeenteachingaway,wasathomeagain。
Shewasstillatomboy;andshewasengagedtobemarried。
Paulwasstudyingdesign。
MorelwasalwaysingoodspiritsonFridayevening,unlessthe,week’searningsweresmall。Hebustledimmediatelyafterhisdinner,preparedtogetwashed。Itwasdecorumforthewomentoabsent,themselveswhilethemenreckoned。Womenwerenotsupposedtospy,intosuchamasculineprivacyasthebutties’reckoning,norwerethey,toknowtheexactamountoftheweek’searnings。So,whilsther,fatherwassplutteringinthescullery,Anniewentouttospend,anhourwithaneighbour。Mrs。Morelattendedtoherbaking。
“Shutthatdoo-er!”bawledMorelfuriously。
Anniebangeditbehindher,andwasgone。
“IfthaoppensitagainwhileI’mweshin’me,I’llma’ethy,jawrattle,“hethreatenedfromthemidstofhissoap-suds。Paul,andthemotherfrownedtohearhim。
Presentlyhecamerunningoutofthescullery,withthesoapy,waterdrippingfromhim,ditheringwithcold。
“Oh,mysirs!”hesaid。”Wheer’smytowel?”
Itwashungonachairtowarmbeforethefire,otherwisehe,wouldhavebulliedandblustered。Hesquattedonhisheelsbefore,thehotbaking-firetodryhimself。
“F-ff-f!”hewent,pretendingtoshudderwithcold。
“Goodness,man,don’tbesuchakid!”saidMrs。Morel。
“It’sNOTcold。”
“Theestripthysenstarknak’dtoweshthyfleshi’thatscullery,“
saidtheminer,asherubbedhishair;“nowtb’raice-’ouse!”
“AndIshouldn’tmakethatfuss,“repliedhiswife。
“No,tha’ddropdownstiff,asdeadasadoor-knob,wi’
thyneshsides。”
“Whyisadoor-knobdeaderthananythingelse?”askedPaul,curious。
“Eh,Idunno;that’swhattheysay,“repliedhisfather。
“Butthere’sthatmuchdraughti’yonscullery,asitblowsthrough,yourribslikethroughafive-barredgate。”
“Itwouldhavesomedifficultyinblowingthroughyours,“
saidMrs。Morel。
Morellookeddownruefullyathissides。
“Me!”heexclaimed。”I’mnowtb’raskinnedrabbit。
Mybonesfairjutsoutonme。”
“Ishouldliketoknowwhere,“retortedhiswife。
“Iv’ry-wheer!,I’mnobbutasacko’faggots。”
Mrs。Morellaughed。Hehadstillawonderfullyyoungbody,muscular,withoutanyfat。Hisskinwassmoothandclear。
Itmighthavebeenthebodyofamanoftwenty-eight,exceptthat,therewere,perhaps,toomanybluescars,liketattoo-marks,wherethe,coal-dustremainedundertheskin,andthathischestwastoohairy。
Butheputhishandonhissideruefully。Itwashisfixedbeliefthat,becausebedidnotgetfat,hewasasthinasastarvedrat。
Paullookedathisfather’sthick,brownishhandsallscarred,withbrokennails,rubbingthefinesmoothnessofhissides,andthe,incongruitystruckhim。Itseemedstrangetheywerethesameflesh。
“Isuppose,“hesaidtohisfather,“youhadagoodfigureonce。”
“Eh!”exclaimedtheminer,glancinground,startledandtimid,likeachild。
“Hehad,“exclaimedMrs。Morel,“ifhedidn’thurtlehimself,upasifhewastryingtogetinthesmallestspacehecould。”
“Me!”exclaimedMorel——“meagoodfigure!,Iwornivermuch,moren’raskeleton。”
“Man!”criedhiswife,“don’tbesuchapulamiter!”
“’Strewth!”hesaid。”Tha’sniverknowedmebutwhatIlooked,asifIworgoin’offinarapiddecline。”
Shesatandlaughed。
“You’vehadaconstitutionlikeiron,“shesaid;“andnever,amanhadabetterstart,ifitwasbodythatcounted。Youshould,haveseenhimasayoungman,“shecriedsuddenlytoPaul,drawingherselfuptoimitateherhusband’soncehandsomebearing。
Morelwatchedhershyly。Hesawagainthepassionshe,hadhadforhim。Itblazeduponherforamoment。Hewasshy,ratherscared,andhumble。Yetagainhefelthisoldglow。
Andthenimmediatelyhefelttheruinhehadmadeduringtheseyears。
Hewantedtobustleabout,torunawayfromit。
“Gi’emybackabitofawesh,“heaskedher。
Hiswifebroughtawell-soapedflannelandclappedit,onhisshoulders。Hegaveajump。
“Eh,thamuckylittle’ussy!”hecried。”Cowdasdeath!”
“Yououghttohavebeenasalamander,“shelaughed,washinghisback。Itwasveryrarelyshewoulddoanything,sopersonalforhim。Thechildrendidthosethings。
“Thenextworldwon’tbehalfhotenoughforyou,“sheadded。
“No,“hesaid;“tha’ltseeasit’sdraughtyforme。”
Butshehadfinished。Shewipedhiminadesultoryfashion,andwentupstairs,returningimmediatelywithhisshifting-trousers。
Whenhewasdriedhestruggledintohisshirt。Then,ruddyandshiny,withhaironend,andhisflanneletteshirthangingoverhis,pit-trousers,hestoodwarmingthegarmentshewasgoingtoputon。
Heturnedthem,hepulledtheminsideout,hescorchedthem。
“Goodness,man!”criedMrs。Morel,“getdressed!”
“Shouldtheeliketoclapthysenintobritchesascowd,asatubo’water?”hesaid。
Atlasthetookoffhispit-trousersanddonneddecentblack。
Hedidallthisonthehearthrug,ashewouldhavedoneifAnnie,andherfamiliarfriendshadbeenpresent。
Mrs。Morelturnedthebreadintheoven。Thenfromthered,earthenwarepanchionofdoughthatstoodinacornershetook,anotherhandfulofpaste,workedittothepropershape,anddropped,itintoatin。AsshewasdoingsoBarkerknockedandentered。
Hewasaquiet,compactlittleman,wholookedasifhewouldgo,throughastonewall。Hisblackhairwascroppedshort,hishead,wasbony。Likemostminers,hewaspale,buthealthyandtaut。
“Evenin’,missis,“henoddedtoMrs。Morel,andheseated,himselfwithasigh。
“Good-evening,“sherepliedcordially。
“Tha’smadethyheelscrack,“saidMorel。
“IdunnoasIhave,“saidBarker。
Hesat,asthemenalwaysdidinMorel’skitchen,effacinghimselfrather。
“How’smissis?”sheaskedofhim。
Hehadtoldhersometimeback:
“We’reexpectin’usthirdjustnow,yousee。”
“Well,“heanswered,rubbinghishead,“shekeepspretty,middlin’,Ithink。”
“Let’ssee——when?”askedMrs。Morel。
“Well,Ishouldn’tbesurprisedanytimenow。”
“Ah!Andshe’skeptfairly?”
“Yes,tidy。”
“That’sablessing,forshe’snonetoostrong。”
“No。An’I’vedoneanothersillytrick。”
“What’sthat?”
Mrs。MorelknewBarkerwouldn’tdoanythingverysilly。
“I’mcomebe-outth’market-bag。”
“Youcanhavemine。”
“Nay,you’llbewantin’thatyourself。”
“Ishan’t。Itakeastringbagalways。”
Shesawthedeterminedlittlecollierbuyingintheweek’s,groceriesandmeatontheFridaynights,andsheadmiredhim。
“Barker’slittle,buthe’stentimesthemanyouare,“shesaid,toherhusband。
JustthenWessonentered。Hewasthin,ratherfrail-looking,withaboyishingenuousnessandaslightlyfoolishsmile,despitehissevenchildren。Buthiswifewasapassionatewoman。
“Iseeyou’vekestedme,“hesaid,smilingrathervapidly。
“Yes,“repliedBarker。
Thenewcomertookoffhiscapandhisbigwoollenmuffler。
Hisnosewaspointedandred。
“I’mafraidyou’recold,Mr。Wesson,“saidMrs。Morel。
“It’sabitnippy,“hereplied。
“Thencometothefire。”
“Nay,Is’lldowhereIam。”
Bothcollierssatawayback。Theycouldnotbeinducedtocome,ontothehearth。Thehearthissacredtothefamily。
“Gothywaysi’th’armchair,“criedMorelcheerily。
“Nay,thankyer;I’mverynicelyhere。”
“Yes,come,ofcourse,“insistedMrs。Morel。
Heroseandwentawkwardly。HesatinMorel’sarmchairawkwardly。
Itwastoogreatafamiliarity。Butthefiremadehimblissfullyhappy。
“Andhow’sthatchestofyours?”demandedMrs。Morel。
Hesmiledagain,withhisblueeyesrathersunny。
“Oh,it’sverymiddlin’,“hesaid。
“Wi’arattleinitlikeakettle-drum,“saidBarkershortly。
“T-t-t-t!”wentMrs。Morelrapidlywithhertongue。”Didyou,havethatflannelsingletmade?”
“Notyet,“hesmiled。
“Then,whydidn’tyou?”shecried。
“It’llcome,“hesmiled。
“Ah,an’Doomsday!”exclaimedBarker。
BarkerandMorelwerebothimpatientofWesson。But,then,theywerebothashardasnails,physically。
WhenMorelwasnearlyreadyhepushedthebagofmoneytoPaul。
“Countit,boy,“heaskedhumbly。
Paulimpatientlyturnedfromhisbooksandpencil,tippedthebag,upsidedownonthetable。Therewasafive-poundbagofsilver,sovereignsandloosemoney。Hecountedquickly,referredtothe,checks——thewrittenpapersgivingamountofcoal——putthemoneyinorder。
ThenBarkerglancedatthechecks。
Mrs。Morelwentupstairs,andthethreemencametotable。
Morel,asmasterofthehouse,satinhisarmchair,withhisback,tothehotfire。Thetwobuttieshadcoolerseats。Noneofthem,countedthemoney。
“WhatdidwesaySimpson’swas?”askedMorel;andthebutties,cavilledforaminuteoverthedayman’searnings。Thentheamount,wasputaside。
“An’BillNaylor’s?”
Thismoneyalsowastakenfromthepack。
Then,becauseWessonlivedinoneofthecompany’shouses,andhisrenthadbeendeducted,MorelandBarkertookfour-and-sixeach。
AndbecauseMorel’scoalshadcome,andtheleadingwasstopped,BarkerandWessontookfourshillingseach。Thenitwasplainsailing。
Morelgaveeachofthemasovereigntilltherewerenomoresovereigns;
eachhalfacrowntilltherewerenomorehalf-crowns;eachashilling,tilltherewerenomoreshillings。Iftherewasanythingattheend,thatwouldn’tsplit,Moreltookitandstooddrinks。
Thenthethreemenroseandwent。Morelscuttledoutofthehouse,beforehiswifecamedown。Sheheardthedoorclose,anddescended。
Shelookedhastilyatthebreadintheoven。Then,glancingon,thetable,shesawhermoneylying。Paulhadbeenworkingall,thetime。Butnowhefelthismothercountingtheweek’smoney,andherwrathrising,“T-t-t-t-t!”wenthertongue。
Hefrowned。Hecouldnotworkwhenshewascross。
Shecountedagain。
“Ameaslytwenty-fiveshillings!”sheexclaimed。”Howmuch,wasthecheque?”
“Tenpoundseleven,“saidPaulirritably。Hedreadedwhat,wascoming。
“Andhegivesmeascrattlin’twenty-five,an’
hisclubthisweek!,ButIknowhim。Hethinksbecause,YOU’REearningheneedn’tkeepthehouseanylonger。
No,allhehastodowithhismoneyistoguttleit。ButI’llshowhim!”
“Oh,mother,don’t!”criedPaul。
“Don’twhat,Ishouldliketoknow?”sheexclaimed。
“Don’tcarryonagain。Ican’twork。”
Shewentveryquiet。
“Yes,it’sallverywell,“shesaid;“buthowdoyouthink,I’mgoingtomanage?”
“Well,itwon’tmakeitanybettertowhittleaboutit。”
“Ishouldliketoknowwhatyou’ddoifyouhadittoput,upwith。”
“Itwon’tbelong。Youcanhavemymoney。Lethimgotohell。”
Hewentbacktohiswork,andshetiedherbonnet-stringsgrimly。
Whenshewasfrettedhecouldnotbearit。Butnowhebegan,toinsistonherrecognizinghim。
“Thetwoloavesatthetop,“shesaid,“willbedone,intwentyminutes。Don’tforgetthem。”
“Allright,“heanswered;andshewenttomarket。
Heremainedaloneworking。Buthisusualintenseconcentration,becameunsettled。Helistenedfortheyard-gate。Ataquarter-past,sevencamealowknock,andMiriamentered。
“Allalone?”shesaid。
“Yes。”
Asifathome,shetookoffhertam-o’-shanterandherlongcoat,hangingthemup。Itgavehimathrill。Thismightbetheirownhouse,hisandhers。Thenshecamebackandpeeredoverhiswork。
“Whatisit?”sheasked。
“Stilldesign,fordecoratingstuffs,andforembroidery。”
Shebentshort-sightedlyoverthedrawings。
Itirritatedhimthatshepeeredsointoeverythingthat,washis,searchinghimout。Hewentintotheparlourandreturned,withabundleofbrownishlinen。Carefullyunfoldingit,hespreaditonthefloor。Itprovedtobeacurtainorportiere,beautifullystencilledwithadesignonroses。
“Ah,howbeautiful!”shecried。
Thespreadcloth,withitswonderfulreddishrosesanddark,greenstems,allsosimple,andsomehowsowicked-looking,layat,herfeet。Shewentonherkneesbeforeit,herdarkcurlsdropping。
Hesawhercrouchedvoluptuouslybeforehiswork,andhisheart,beatquickly。Suddenlyshelookedupathim。
“Whydoesitseemcruel?”sheasked。
“What?”
“Thereseemsafeelingofcrueltyaboutit,“shesaid。
“It’sjollygood,whetherornot,“hereplied,foldingup,hisworkwithalover’shands。
Sheroseslowly,pondering。
“Andwhatwillyoudowithit?”sheasked。
“SendittoLiberty’s。Ididitformymother,butIthink,she’dratherhavethemoney。”
“Yes,“saidMiriam。Hehadspokenwithatouchofbitterness,andMiriamsympathised。MoneywouldhavebeennothingtoHER。
Hetooktheclothbackintotheparlour。Whenhereturned,hethrewtoMiriamasmallerpiece。Itwasacushion-cover,withthesamedesign。
“Ididthatforyou,“hesaid。
Shefingeredtheworkwithtremblinghands,anddidnotspeak。
Hebecameembarrassed。
“ByJove,thebread!”hecried。
Hetookthetoploavesout,tappedthemvigorously。Theyweredone。
Heputthemonthehearthtocool。Thenhewenttothescullery,wettedhishands,scoopedthelastwhitedoughoutofthepunchion,anddroppeditinabaking-tin。Miriamwasstillbentoverher,paintedcloth。Hestoodrubbingthebitsofdoughfromhishands。
“Youdolikeit?”heasked。
Shelookedupathim,withherdarkeyesoneflameoflove。
Helaugheduncomfortably。Thenhebegantotalkaboutthedesign。
Therewasforhimthemostintensepleasureintalkingabouthis,worktoMiriam。Allhispassion,allhiswildblood,wentinto,thisintercoursewithher,whenhetalkedandconceivedhiswork。
Shebroughtforthtohimhisimaginations。Shedidnotunderstand,anymorethanawomanunderstandswhensheconceivesachildinherwomb。
Butthiswaslifeforherandforhim。
Whiletheyweretalking,ayoungwomanofabouttwenty-two,smallandpale,hollow-eyed,yetwitharelentlesslookabouther,enteredtheroom。ShewasafriendattheMorel’s。
“Takeyourthingsoff,“saidPaul。
“No,I’mnotstopping。”
ShesatdowninthearmchairoppositePaulandMiriam,whowereonthesofa。Miriammovedalittlefartherfromhim。
Theroomwashot,withascentofnewbread。Brown,crisploaves,stoodonthehearth。
“Ishouldn’thaveexpectedtoseeyouhereto-night,MiriamLeivers,“saidBeatricewickedly。
“Whynot?”murmuredMiriamhuskily。
“Why,let’slookatyourshoes。”
Miriamremaineduncomfortablystill。
“Ifthadoesnathadurs’na,“laughedBeatrice。
Miriamputherfeetfromunderherdress。Herboots,hadthatqueer,irresolute,ratherpatheticlookaboutthem,whichshowedhowself-consciousandself-mistrustfulshewas。
Andtheywerecoveredwithmud。
“Glory!,You’reapositivemuck-heap,“exclaimedBeatrice。
“Whocleansyourboots?”
“Icleanthemmyself。”
“Thenyouwantedajob,“saidBeatrice。”Itwouldha’
takenalotofmentoha’broughtmedownhereto-night。Butlove,laughsatsludge,doesn’tit,’Postlemyduck?”
“Interalia,“hesaid。
“Oh,Lord!areyougoingtospoutforeignlanguages?
Whatdoesitmean,Miriam?”
Therewasafinesarcasminthelastquestion,butMiriamdid,notseeit。
“’Amongotherthings,’Ibelieve,“shesaidhumbly。
Beatriceputhertonguebetweenherteethandlaughedwickedly。
“’Amongotherthings,’’Postle?”sherepeated。”Doyoumean,lovelaughsatmothers,andfathers,andsisters,andbrothers,andmenfriends,andladyfriends,andevenattheb’lovedhimself?”
Sheaffectedagreatinnocence。
“Infact,it’sonebigsmile,“hereplied。
“Upitssleeve,’PostleMorel——youbelieveme,“shesaid;
andshewentoffintoanotherburstofwicked,silentlaughter。
Miriamsatsilent,withdrawnintoherself。EveryoneofPaul’s,friendsdelightedintakingsidesagainsther,andhelefther,inthelurch——seemedalmosttohaveasortofrevengeuponherthen。
“Areyoustillatschool?”askedMiriamofBeatrice。
“Yes。”
“You’venothadyournotice,then?”
“IexpectitatEaster。”
“Isn’titanawfulshame,toturnyouoffmerelybecauseyou,didn’tpasstheexam。?”
“Idon’tknow,“saidBeatricecoldly。
“Agathasaysyou’reasgoodasanyteacheranywhere。
第8章