首页 >出版文学> South Sea Tales>第14章

第14章

  “Youwillletmehelpyouwashup,“saidClara。
  “Eh,therearesofew,itwillonlytakeaminute,“saidtheother。
  Clara,however,driedthetea-things,andwasgladtobeon,suchgoodtermswithhismother;butitwastorturenottobeable,tofollowhimdownthegarden。Atlastsheallowedherselftogo;
  shefeltasifaropeweretakenoffherankle。
  TheafternoonwasgoldenoverthehillsofDerbyshire。Hestood,acrossintheothergarden,besideabushofpaleMichaelmasdaisies,watchingthelastbeescrawlintothehive。Hearinghercoming,heturnedtoherwithaneasymotion,saying:
  “It’stheendoftherunwiththesechaps。”
  Clarastoodnearhim。Overthelowredwallinfrontwas,thecountryandthefar-offhills,allgoldendim。
  AtthatmomentMiriamwasenteringthroughthegarden-door。
  ShesawClaragouptohim,sawhimturn,andsawthemcometo,resttogether。Somethingintheirperfectisolationtogethermade,herknowthatitwasaccomplishedbetweenthem,thattheywere,assheputit,married。Shewalkedveryslowlydownthecinder-track,ofthelonggarden。
  Clarahadpulledabuttonfromahollyhockspire,andwasbreaking,ittogettheseeds。Aboveherbowedheadthepinkflowersstared,asifdefendingher。Thelastbeeswerefallingdowntothehive。
  “Countyourmoney,“laughedPaul,asshebroketheflatseeds,onebyonefromtherollofcoin。Shelookedathim。
  “I’mwelloff,“shesaid,smiling。
  “Howmuch?,Pf!”Hesnappedhisfingers。”CanIturnthem,intogold?”
  “I’mafraidnot,“shelaughed。
  Theylookedintoeachother’seyes,laughing。Atthatmoment,theybecameawareofMiriam。Therewasaclick,andeverything,hadaltered。
  “Hello,Miriam!”heexclaimed。”Yousaidyou’dcome!”
  “Yes。Hadyouforgotten?”
  SheshookhandswithClara,saying:
  “Itseemsstrangetoseeyouhere。”
  “Yes,“repliedtheother;“itseemsstrangetobehere。”
  Therewasahesitation。
  “Thisispretty,isn’tit?”saidMiriam。
  “Ilikeitverymuch,“repliedClara。
  ThenMiriamrealisedthatClarawasacceptedasshehadneverbeen。
  “Haveyoucomedownalone?”askedPaul。
  “Yes;IwenttoAgatha’stotea。Wearegoingtochapel。
  IonlycalledinforamomenttoseeClara。”
  “Youshouldhavecomeinheretotea,“hesaid。
  Miriamlaughedshortly,andClaraturnedimpatientlyaside。
  “Doyoulikethechrysanthemums?”heasked。
  “Yes;theyareveryfine,“repliedMiriam。
  “Whichsortdoyoulikebest?”heasked。
  “Idon’tknow。Thebronze,Ithink。”
  “Idon’tthinkyou’veseenallthesorts。Comeandlook。
  ComeandseewhichareYOURfavourites,Clara。”
  Heledthetwowomenbacktohisowngarden,wherethetowsled,bushesofflowersofallcoloursstoodraggedlyalongthepathdown,tothefield。Thesituationdidnotembarrasshim,tohisknowledge。
  “Look,Miriam;thesearethewhiteonesthatcamefromyourgarden。
  Theyaren’tsofinehere,arethey?”
  “No,“saidMiriam。
  “Butthey’rehardier。You’resosheltered;thingsgrowbig,andtender,andthendie。TheselittleyellowonesIlike。
  Willyouhavesome?”
  Whiletheywereouttherethebellsbegantoringinthechurch,soundingloudacrossthetownandthefield。Miriamlookedatthe,tower,proudamongtheclusteringroofs,andrememberedthesketches,hehadbroughther。Ithadbeendifferentthen,buthehadnotleft,herevenyet。Sheaskedhimforabooktoread。Heranindoors。
  “What!isthatMiriam?”askedhismothercoldly。
  “Yes;shesaidshe’dcallandseeClara。”
  “Youtoldher,then?”camethesarcasticanswer。
  “Yes;whyshouldn’tI?”
  “There’scertainlynoreasonwhyyoushouldn’t,“saidMrs。Morel,andshereturnedtoherbook。Hewincedfromhismother’sirony,frownedirritably,thinking:,“Whycan’tIdoasIlike?”
  “You’venotseenMrs。Morelbefore?”MiriamwassayingtoClara。
  “No;butshe’ssonice!”
  “Yes,“saidMiriam,droppingherhead;“insomewaysshe’s,veryfine。”
  “Ishouldthinkso。”
  “HadPaultoldyoumuchabouther?”
  “Hehadtalkedagooddeal。”
  “Ha!”
  Therewassilenceuntilhereturnedwiththebook。
  “Whenwillyouwantitback?”Miriamasked。
  “Whenyoulike,“heanswered。
  Claraturnedtogoindoors,whilstheaccompaniedMiriam,tothegate。
  “WhenwillyoucomeuptoWilleyFarm?”thelatterasked。
  “Icouldn’tsay,“repliedClara。
  “Motheraskedmetosayshe’dbepleasedtoseeyouanytime,ifyoucaredtocome。”
  “Thankyou;Ishouldliketo,butIcan’tsaywhen。”
  “Oh,verywell!”exclaimedMiriamratherbitterly,turningaway。
  Shewentdownthepathwithhermouthtotheflowershehad,givenher。
  “You’resureyouwon’tcomein?”hesaid。
  “No,thanks。”
  “Wearegoingtochapel。”
  “Ah,Ishallseeyou,then!”Miriamwasverybitter。
  “Yes。”
  Theyparted。Hefeltguiltytowardsher。Shewasbitter,andshescornedhim。Hestillbelongedtoherself,shebelieved;
  yethecouldhaveClara,takeherhome,sitwithhernexthismother,inchapel,giveherthesamehymn-bookhehadgivenherself,yearsbefore。Sheheardhimrunningquicklyindoors。
  Buthedidnotgostraightin。Haltingontheplotofgrass,heheardhismother’svoice,thenClara’sanswer:
  “WhatIhateisthebloodhoundqualityinMiriam。”
  “Yes,“saidhismotherquickly,“yes;DOESN’Titmakeyou,hateher,now!”
  Hisheartwenthot,andhewasangrywiththemfortalking,aboutthegirl。Whatrighthadtheytosaythat?,Somethingin,thespeechitselfstunghimintoaflameofhateagainstMiriam。
  ThenhisownheartrebelledfuriouslyatClara’stakingtheliberty,ofspeakingsoaboutMiriam。Afterall,thegirlwasthebetterwoman,ofthetwo,hethought,ifitcametogoodness。Hewentindoors。
  Hismotherlookedexcited。Shewasbeatingwithherhand,rhythmicallyonthesofa-arm,aswomendowhoarewearingout。
  Hecouldneverbeartoseethemovement。Therewasasilence;
  thenhebegantotalk。
  InchapelMiriamsawhimfindtheplaceinthehymn-book,forClara,inexactlythesamewayasheusedforherself。
  Andduringthesermonhecouldseethegirlacrossthechapel,herhatthrowingadarkshadowoverherface。Whatdidshethink,seeingClarawithhim?,Hedidnotstoptoconsider。Hefelthimself,crueltowardsMiriam。
  AfterchapelhewentoverPentrichwithClara。Itwasadark,autumnnight。Theyhadsaidgood-byetoMiriam,andhishearthad,smittenhimasheleftthegirlalone。”Butitservesherright,“
  hesaidinsidehimself,anditalmostgavehimpleasuretogooff,underhereyeswiththisotherhandsomewoman。
  Therewasascentofdampleavesinthedarkness。Clara’shand,laywarmandinertinhisownastheywalked。Hewasfullofconflict。
  Thebattlethatragedinsidehimmadehimfeeldesperate。
  UpPentrichHillClaraleanedagainsthimashewent。
  Heslidhisarmroundherwaist。Feelingthestrongmotion,ofherbodyunderhisarmasshewalked,thetightnessinhis,chestbecauseofMiriamrelaxed,andthehotbloodbathedhim。
  Heheldhercloserandcloser。
  Then:,“YoustillkeeponwithMiriam,“shesaidquietly。
  “Onlytalk。ThereneverWASagreatdealmorethantalk,betweenus,“hesaidbitterly。
  “Yourmotherdoesn’tcareforher,“saidClara。
  “No,orImighthavemarriedher。Butit’sallupreally!”
  Suddenlyhisvoicewentpassionatewithhate。
  “IfIwaswithhernow,weshouldbejawingaboutthe’Christian,Mystery’,orsomesuchtack。ThankGod,I’mnot!”
  Theywalkedoninsilenceforsometime。
  “Butyoucan’treallygiveherup,“saidClara。
  “Idon’tgiveherup,becausethere’snothingtogive,“
  hesaid。
  “Thereisforher。”
  “Idon’tknowwhysheandIshouldn’tbefriendsaslong,aswelive,“hesaid。”Butit’llonlybefriends。”
  Claradrewawayfromhim,leaningawayfromcontactwithhim。
  “Whatareyoudrawingawayfor?”heasked。
  Shedidnotanswer,butdrewfartherfromhim。
  “Whydoyouwanttowalkalone?”heasked。
  Stilltherewasnoanswer。Shewalkedresentfully,hangingherhead。
  “BecauseIsaidIwouldbefriendswithMiriam!”heexclaimed。
  Shewouldnotanswerhimanything。
  “Itellyouit’sonlywordsthatgobetweenus,“hepersisted,tryingtotakeheragain。
  Sheresisted。Suddenlyhestrodeacrossinfrontofher,barringherway。
  “Damnit!”hesaid。”Whatdoyouwantnow?”
  “You’dbetterrunafterMiriam,“mockedClara。
  Thebloodflamedupinhim。Hestoodshowinghisteeth。
  Shedroopedsulkily。Thelanewasdark,quitelonely。Hesuddenly,caughtherinhisarms,stretchedforward,andputhismouthon,herfaceinakissofrage。Sheturnedfranticallytoavoidhim。
  Heheldherfast。Hardandrelentlesshismouthcameforher。
  Herbreastshurtagainstthewallofhischest。Helpless,shewent,looseinhisarms,andhekissedher,andkissedher。
  Heheardpeoplecomingdownthehill。
  “Standup!standup!”hesaidthickly,grippingherarmtill,ithurt。Ifhehadletgo,shewouldhavesunktotheground。
  Shesighedandwalkeddizzilybesidehim。Theywentoninsilence。
  “Wewillgooverthefields,“hesaid;andthenshewokeup。
  Butsheletherselfbehelpedoverthestile,andshe,walkedinsilencewithhimoverthefirstdarkfield。Itwas,thewaytoNottinghamandtothestation,sheknew。Heseemed,tobelookingabout。Theycameoutonabarehilltopwherestood,thedarkfigureoftheruinedwindmill。Therehehalted。
  Theystoodtogetherhighupinthedarkness,lookingatthelights,scatteredonthenightbeforethem,handfulsofglitteringpoints,villageslyinghighandlowonthedark,hereandthere。
  “Liketreadingamongthestars,“hesaid,withaquakylaugh。
  Thenhetookherinhisarms,andheldherfast。Shemoved,asidehermouthtoask,doggedandlow:
  “Whattimeisit?”
  “Itdoesn’tmatter,“hepleadedthickly。
  “Yesitdoes——yes!,Imustgo!”
  “It’searlyyet,“hesaid。
  “Whattimeisit?”sheinsisted。
  Allroundlaytheblacknight,speckledandspangledwithlights。
  “Idon’tknow。”
  Sheputherhandonhischest,feelingforhiswatch。
  Hefeltthejointsfuseintofire。Shegropedinhiswaistcoatpocket,whilehestoodpanting。Inthedarknessshecouldseetheround,palefaceofthewatch,butnotthefigures。Shestoopedoverit。
  Hewaspantingtillhecouldtakeherinhisarmsagain。
  “Ican’tsee,“shesaid。
  “Thendon’tbother。”
  “Yes;I’mgoing!”shesaid,turningaway。
  “Wait!,I’lllook!”Buthecouldnotsee。”I’llstrike,amatch。”
  Hesecretlyhopeditwastoolatetocatchthetrain。
  Shesawtheglowinglanternofhishandsashecradledthelight:
  thenhisfacelitup,hiseyesfixedonthewatch。Instantlyallwas,darkagain。Allwasblackbeforehereyes;onlyaglowingmatchwas,rednearherfeet。Wherewashe?
  “Whatisit?”sheasked,afraid。
  “Youcan’tdoit,“hisvoiceansweredoutofthedarkness。
  Therewasapause。Shefeltinhispower。Shehadheard,theringinhisvoice。Itfrightenedher。
  “Whattimeisit?”sheasked,quiet,definite,hopeless。
  “Twominutestonine,“hereplied,tellingthetruthwith,astruggle。
  “AndcanIgetfromheretothestationinfourteenminutes?”
  “No。Atanyrate——“
  Shecoulddistinguishhisdarkformagainayardorsoaway。
  Shewantedtoescape。
  “Butcan’tIdoit?”shepleaded。
  “Ifyouhurry,“hesaidbrusquely。”Butyoucouldeasily,walkit,Clara;it’sonlysevenmilestothetram。I’llcome,withyou。”
  “No;Iwanttocatchthetrain。”
  “Butwhy?”
  “Ido——Iwanttocatchthetrain。”
  Suddenlyhisvoicealtered。
  “Verywell,“hesaid,dryandhard。”Comealong,then。”
  Andheplungedaheadintothedarkness。Sheranafterhim,wantingtocry。Nowhewashardandcrueltoher。Sheranover,therough,darkfieldsbehindhim,outofbreath,readytodrop。
  Butthedoublerowoflightsatthestationdrewnearer。Suddenly:
  “Theresheis!”hecried,breakingintoarun。
  Therewasafaintrattlingnoise。Awaytotherightthetrain,likealuminouscaterpillar,wasthreadingacrossthenight。
  Therattlingceased。
  “She’sovertheviaduct。You’lljustdoit。”
  Clararan,quiteoutofbreath,andfellatlastintothetrain。
  Thewhistleblew。Hewasgone。Gone!——andshewasinacarriage,fullofpeople。Shefeltthecrueltyofit。
  Heturnedroundandplungedhome。Beforeheknewwhere,hewashewasinthekitchenathome。Hewasverypale。
  Hiseyesweredarkanddangerous-looking,asifheweredrunk。
  Hismotherlookedathim。
  “Well,Imustsayyourbootsareinanicestate!”shesaid。
  Helookedathisfeet。Thenhetookoffhisovercoat。
  Hismotherwonderedifheweredrunk。
  “Shecaughtthetrainthen?”shesaid。
  “Yes。”
  “IhopeHERfeetweren’tsofilthy。Whereonearthyoudragged,herIdon’tknow!”
  Hewassilentandmotionlessforsometime。
  “Didyoulikeher?”heaskedgrudginglyatlast。
  “Yes,Ilikedher。Butyou’lltireofher,myson;youknow,youwill。”
  Hedidnotanswer。Shenoticedhowhelabouredinhisbreathing。
  “Haveyoubeenrunning?”sheasked。
  “Wehadtorunforthetrain。”
  “You’llgoandknockyourselfup。You’dbetterdrinkhotmilk。”
  Itwasasgoodastimulantashecouldhave,butherefused,andwenttobed。Therehelayfacedownonthecounterpane,andshedtearsofrageandpain。Therewasaphysicalpain,thatmadehimbitehislipstilltheybled,andthechaosinside,himlefthimunabletothink,almosttofeel。
  “Thisishowsheservesme,isit?”hesaidinhisheart,overandover,pressinghisfaceinthequilt。Andhehatedher。
  Againhewentoverthescene,andagainhehatedher。
  Thenextdaytherewasanewaloofnessabouthim。Clarawas,verygentle,almostloving。Buthetreatedherdistantly,withatouchofcontempt。Shesighed,continuingtobegentle。
  Hecameround。
  OneeveningofthatweekSarahBernhardtwasattheTheatreRoyal,inNottingham,giving“LaDameauxCamelias“。Paulwantedtosee,thisoldandfamousactress,andheaskedClaratoaccompanyhim。
  Hetoldhismothertoleavethekeyinthewindowforhim。
  “ShallIbookseats?”heaskedofClara。
  “Yes。Andputonaneveningsuit,willyou?,I’veneverseen,youinit。”
  “But,goodLord,Clara!,ThinkofMEineveningsuit,atthetheatre!”heremonstrated。
  “Wouldyourathernot?”sheasked。
  “IwillifyouWANTmeto;butIs’llfeelafool。”
  Shelaughedathim。
  “Thenfeelafoolformysake,once,won’tyou?”
  Therequestmadehisbloodflushup。
  “IsupposeIs’llhaveto。”
  “Whatareyoutakingasuitcasefor?”hismotherasked。
  Heblushedfuriously。
  “Claraaskedme,“hesaid。
  “Andwhatseatsareyougoingin?”
  “Circle——three-and-sixeach!”
  “Well,I’msure!”exclaimedhismothersarcastically。
  “It’sonlyonceinthebluestofbluemoons,“hesaid。
  HedressedatJordan’s,putonanovercoatandacap,andmet,Clarainacafe。Shewaswithoneofhersuffragettefriends。
  Sheworeanoldlongcoat,whichdidnotsuither,andhadalittlewrap,overherhead,whichhehated。Thethreewenttothetheatretogether。
  Claratookoffhercoatonthestairs,andhediscoveredshe,wasinasortofsemi-eveningdress,thatleftherarmsandneck,andpartofherbreastbare。Herhairwasdonefashionably。
  Thedress,asimplethingofgreencrape,suitedher。Shelooked,quitegrand,hethought。Hecouldseeherfigureinsidethefrock,asifthatwerewrappedcloselyroundher。Thefirmnessandthe,softnessofheruprightbodycouldalmostbefeltashelookedather。
  Heclenchedhisfists。
  Andhewastositalltheeveningbesideherbeautifulnakedarm,watchingthestrongthroatrisefromthestrongchest,watchingthe,breastsunderthegreenstuff,thecurveofherlimbsinthetightdress。
  Somethinginhimhatedheragainforsubmittinghimtothistorture,ofnearness。Andhelovedherasshebalancedherheadandstared,straightinfrontofher,pouting,wistful,immobile,asifshe,yieldedherselftoherfatebecauseitwastoostrongforher。
  Shecouldnothelpherself;shewasinthegripofsomething,biggerthanherself。Akindofeternallookabouther,asifshe,wereawistfulsphinx,madeitnecessaryforhimtokissher。
  Hedroppedhisprogramme,andcroucheddownonthefloortogetit,sothathecouldkissherhandandwrist。Herbeautywasatorture,tohim。Shesatimmobile。Only,whenthelightswentdown,shesankalittleagainsthim,andhecaressedherhandandarm,withhisfingers。Hecouldsmellherfaintperfume。Allthetime,hisbloodkeptsweepingupingreatwhite-hotwavesthatkilledhis,consciousnessmomentarily。
  Thedramacontinued。Hesawitallinthedistance,goingon,somewhere;hedidnotknowwhere,butitseemedfarawayinsidehim。
  HewasClara’swhiteheavyarms,herthroat,hermovingbosom。
  Thatseemedtobehimself。Thenawaysomewheretheplaywenton,andhewasidentifiedwiththatalso。Therewasnohimself。
  ThegreyandblackeyesofClara,herbosomcoming,downonhim,herarmthatheheldgrippedbetweenhishands,wereallthatexisted。Thenhefelthimselfsmallandhelpless,hertoweringinherforceabovehim。
  Onlytheintervals,whenthelightscameup,hurthimexpressibly。
  Hewantedtorunanywhere,solongasitwouldbedarkagain。
  Inamaze,hewanderedoutforadrink。Thenthelightswereout,andthestrange,insanerealityofClaraandthedramatookholdof,himagain。
  Theplaywenton。Buthewasobsessedbythedesireto,kissthetinyblueveinthatnestledinthebendofherarm。
  Hecouldfeelit。Hiswholefaceseemedsuspendedtillhehad,puthislipsthere。Itmustbedone。Andtheotherpeople!
  Atlasthebentquicklyforwardandtoucheditwithhislips。
  Hismoustachebrushedthesensitiveflesh。Clarashivered,drewaway,herarm。
  Whenallwasover,thelightsup,thepeopleclapping,hecametohimselfandlookedathiswatch。Histrainwasgone。
  “Is’llhavetowalkhome!”hesaid。
  Claralookedathim。
  “Itistoolate?”sheasked。
  Henodded。Thenhehelpedheronwithhercoat。
  “Iloveyou!,Youlookbeautifulinthatdress,“hemurmured,overhershoulder,amongthethrongofbustlingpeople。
  Sheremainedquiet。Togethertheywentoutofthetheatre。
  Hesawthecabswaiting,thepeoplepassing。Itseemedhemet,apairofbrowneyeswhichhatedhim。Buthedidnotknow。
  HeandClaraturnedaway,mechanicallytakingthedirectionto,thestation。
  Thetrainhadgone。Hewouldhavetowalkthetenmileshome。
  “Itdoesn’tmatter,“hesaid。”Ishallenjoyit。”
  “Won’tyou,“shesaid,flushing,“comehomeforthenight?
  Icansleepwithmother。”
  Helookedather。Theireyesmet。
  “Whatwillyourmothersay?”heasked。
  “Shewon’tmind。”
  “You’resure?”
  “Quite!“
  “SHALLIcome?”
  “Ifyouwill。”
  “Verywell。”
  Andtheyturnedaway。Atthefirststopping-placetheytook,thecar。Thewindblewfreshintheirfaces。Thetownwasdark;
  thetramtippedinitshaste。Hesatwithherhandfastinhis。
  “Willyourmotherbegonetobed?”heasked。
  “Shemaybe。Ihopenot。”
  Theyhurriedalongthesilent,darklittlestreet,theonly,peopleoutofdoors。Claraquicklyenteredthehouse。Hehesitated。
  Heleapedupthestepandwasintheroom。Hermotherappeared,intheinnerdoorway,largeandhostile。
  “Whohaveyougotthere?”sheasked。
  “It’sMr。Morel;hehasmissedhistrain。Ithoughtwemight,puthimupforthenight,andsavehimaten-milewalk。”
  “H’m,“exclaimedMrs。Radford。”That’syourlookout!
  Ifyou’veinvitedhim,he’sverywelcomeasfarasI’mconcerned。
  YOUkeepthehouse!”
  “Ifyoudon’tlikeme,I’llgoawayagain,“hesaid。
  “Nay,nay,youneedn’t!,Comealongin!,Idunnowhatyou’ll,thinkofthesupperI’dgother。”
  Itwasalittledishofchippotatoesandapieceofbacon。
  Thetablewasroughlylaidforone。
  “Youcanhavesomemorebacon,“continuedMrs。Radford。
  “Morechipsyoucan’thave。”
  “It’sashametobotheryou,“hesaid。
  “Oh,don’tyoubeapologetic!,Itdoesn’tDOwi’me!,Youtreatedher,tothetheatre,didn’tyou?”Therewasasarcasminthelastquestion。
  “Well?”laughedPauluncomfortably。
  “Well,andwhat’saninchofbacon!,Takeyourcoatoff。”
  Thebig,straight-standingwomanwastryingtoestimate,thesituation。Shemovedaboutthecupboard。Claratookhiscoat。
  Theroomwasverywarmandcosyinthelamplight。
  “Mysirs!”exclaimedMrs。Radford;“butyoutwo’sapair,ofbrightbeauties,Imustsay!,What’sallthatget-upfor?”
  “Ibelievewedon’tknow,“hesaid,feelingavictim。
  “Thereisn’troominTHIShousefortwosuchbobby-dazzlers,if,youflyyourkitesTHAThigh!”sheralliedthem。Itwasanastythrust。
  Heinhisdinnerjacket,andClarainhergreendress,andbarearms,wereconfused。Theyfelttheymustshelter,eachotherinthatlittlekitchen。
  “AndlookatTHATblossom!“continuedMrs。Radford,pointingtoClara。”Whatdoesshereckonshediditfor?”
  PaullookedatClara。Shewasrosy;herneckwaswarm,withblushes。Therewasamomentofsilence。
  “Youliketoseeit,don’tyou?”heasked。
  Themotherhadtheminherpower。Allthetimehisheart,wasbeatinghard,andhewastightwithanxiety。Buthewould,fighther。
  “Meliketoseeit!”exclaimedtheoldwoman。”WhatshouldI
  liketoseehermakeafoolofherselffor?”
  “I’veseenpeoplelookbiggerfools,“hesaid。Clarawas,underhisprotectionnow。
  “Oh,ay!andwhenwasthat?”camethesarcasticrejoinder。
  “Whentheymadefrightsofthemselves,“heanswered。
  Mrs。Radford,largeandthreatening,stoodsuspended,onthehearthrug,holdingherfork。
  “They’refoolseitherroad,“sheansweredatlength,turningtotheDutchoven。
  “No,“hesaid,fightingstoutly。”Folkoughttolookaswell,astheycan。”
  “AnddoyoucallTHATlookingnice!”criedthemother,pointingascornfulforkatClara。”That——thatlooksasifit,wasn’tproperlydressed!”
  “Ibelieveyou’rejealousthatyoucan’tswankaswell,“
  hesaidlaughing。
  “Me!,Icouldhaveworneveningdresswithanybody,ifI’d,wantedto!”camethescornfulanswer。
  “Andwhydidn’tyouwantto?”heaskedpertinently。”OrDID
  youwearit?”
  Therewasalongpause。Mrs。Radfordreadjustedthebacon,intheDutchoven。Hisheartbeatfast,forfearhehadoffendedher。
  “Me!”sheexclaimedatlast。”No,Ididn’t!,AndwhenIwas,inservice,Iknewassoonasoneofthemaidscameoutinbare,shoulderswhatsortSHEwas,goingtohersixpennyhop!”
  “Wereyoutoogoodtogotoasixpennyhop?”hesaid。
  Clarasatwithbowedhead。Hiseyesweredarkandglittering。
  Mrs。RadfordtooktheDutchovenfromthefire,andstoodnearhim,puttingbitsofbacononhisplate。
  “THERE’Sanicecrozzlybit!”shesaid。
  “Don’tgivemethebest!”hesaid。
  “SHE’SgotwhatSHEwants,“wastheanswer。
  Therewasasortofscornfulforbearanceinthewoman’stone,thatmadePaulknowshewasmollified。
  “ButDOhavesome!”hesaidtoClara。
  Shelookedupathimwithhergreyeyes,humiliatedandlonely。
  “Nothanks!”shesaid。
  “Whywon’tyou?”heansweredcarelessly。
  Thebloodwasbeatinguplikefireinhisveins。Mrs。Radford,satdownagain,largeandimpressiveandaloof。HeleftClara,altogethertoattendtothemother。
  “TheysaySarahBernhardt’sfifty,“hesaid。
  “Fifty!,She’sturnedsixty!”camethescornfulanswer。
  “Well,“hesaid,“you’dneverthinkit!,Shemademewant,tohowlevennow。”
  “IshouldliketoseemyselfhowlingatTHATbadoldbaggage!”
  saidMrs。Radford。”It’stimeshebegantothinkherselfagrandmother,notashriekingcatamaran——“
  Helaughed。
  “AcatamaranisaboattheMalaysuse,“hesaid。
  “Andit’sawordasIuse,“sheretorted。
  “Mymotherdoessometimes,andit’snogoodmytellingher,“
  hesaid。
  “Is’dthinksheboxesyourears,“saidMrs。Radford,good-humouredly。
  “She’dliketo,andshesaysshewill,soIgiveheralittle,stooltostandon。”
  “That’stheworstofmymother,“saidClara。”Sheneverwants,astoolforanything。”
  “Butsheoftencan’ttouchTHATladywithalongprop,“
  retortedMrs。RadfordtoPaul。
  “Is’dthinkshedoesn’twanttouchingwithaprop,“helaughed。
  “Ishouldn’t。”
  “Itmightdothepairofyougoodtogiveyouacrack,ontheheadwithone,“saidthemother,laughingsuddenly。
  “Whyareyousovindictivetowardsme?”hesaid。”I’venot,stolenanythingfromyou。”
  “No;I’llwatchthat,“laughedtheolderwoman。
  Soonthesupperwasfinished。Mrs。Radfordsatguardinher,chair。Paullitacigarette。Clarawentupstairs,returningwith,asleeping-suit,whichshespreadonthefendertoair。
  “Why,I’dforgotallaboutTHEM!”saidMrs。Radford。
  “Wherehavetheysprungfrom?”
  “Outofmydrawer。”
  “H’m!,Youbought’emforBaxter,an’hewouldn’twear’em,wouldhe?”——laughing。”Saidhereckonedtodowi’outtrousersi’
  bed。”,SheturnedconfidentiallytoPaul,saying:,“Hecouldn’t,BEAR’em,thempyjamathings。”
  Theyoungmansatmakingringsofsmoke。
  “Well,it’severyonetohistaste,“helaughed。
  Thenfollowedalittlediscussionofthemeritsofpyjamas。
  “Mymotherlovesmeinthem,“hesaid。”ShesaysI’mapierrot。”
  “Icanimaginethey’dsuityou,“saidMrs。Radford。
  Afterawhileheglancedatthelittleclockthatwasticking,onthemantelpiece。Itwashalf-pasttwelve。
  “Itisfunny,“hesaid,“butittakeshourstosettledown,tosleepafterthetheatre。”
  “It’sabouttimeyoudid,“saidMrs。Radford,clearingthetable。
  “AreYOUtired?”heaskedofClara。
  “Nottheleastbit,“sheanswered,avoidinghiseyes。
  “Shallwehaveagameatcribbage?”hesaid。
  “I’veforgottenit。”
  “Well,I’llteachyouagain。Mayweplaycrib,Mrs。Radford?”
  heasked。
  “You’llpleaseyourselves,“shesaid;“butit’sprettylate。”
  “Agameorsowillmakeussleepy,“heanswered。
  Clarabroughtthecards,andsatspinningherwedding-ringwhilst,heshuffledthem。Mrs。Radfordwaswashingupinthescullery。
  AsitgrewlaterPaulfeltthesituationgettingmoreandmoretense。
  “Fifteentwo,fifteenfour,fifteensix,andtwo’seight——!”
  Theclockstruckone。Stillthegamecontinued。Mrs。Radford,haddoneallthelittlejobspreparatorytogoingtobed,hadlockedthedoorandfilledthekettle。StillPaulwenton,dealingandcounting。HewasobsessedbyClara’sarmsandthroat。
  Hebelievedhecouldseewherethedivisionwasjustbeginning,forherbreasts。Hecouldnotleaveher。Shewatchedhishands,andfeltherjointsmeltastheymovedquickly。Shewassonear;
  itwasalmostasifhetouchedher,andyetnotquite。Hismettlewas,roused。HehatedMrs。Radford。Shesaton,nearlydroppingasleep,butdeterminedandobstinateinherchair。Paulglancedather,thenat,Clara。Shemethiseyes,thatwereangry,mocking,andhardassteel。
  Herownansweredhiminshame。HeknewSHE,atanyrate,was,ofhismind。Heplayedon。
  AtlastMrs。Radfordrousedherselfstiffly,andsaid:
  “Isn’titnighontimeyoutwowasthinkingo’bed?”
  Paulplayedonwithoutanswering。Hehatedhersufficiently,tomurderher。
  “Halfaminute,“hesaid。
  Theelderwomanroseandsailedstubbornlyintothescullery,returningwithhiscandle,whichsheputonthemantelpiece。
  Thenshesatdownagain。Thehatredofherwentsohot,downhisveins,hedroppedhiscards。
  “We’llstop,then,“hesaid,buthisvoicewasstillachallenge。
  Clarasawhismouthshuthard。Againheglancedather。
  Itseemedlikeanagreement。Shebentoverthecards,coughing,toclearherthroat。
  “Well,I’mgladyou’vefinished,“saidMrs。Radford。
  “Here,takeyourthings“——shethrustthewarmsuitinhishand——“and,thisisyourcandle。Yourroom’soverthis;there’sonlytwo,soyoucan’tgofarwrong。Well,good-night。Ihopeyou’llrestwell。”
  “I’msureIshall;Ialwaysdo,“hesaid。
  “Yes;andsoyououghtatyourage,“shereplied。
  Hebadegood-nighttoClara,andwent。Thetwistingstairs,ofwhite,scrubbedwoodcreakedandclangedateverystep。
  Hewentdoggedly。Thetwodoorsfacedeachother。Hewentinhisroom,pushedthedoorto,withoutfasteningthelatch。
  Itwasasmallroomwithalargebed。SomeofClara’s,hair-pinswereonthedressing-table——herhair-brush。Herclothes,andsomeskirtshungunderaclothinacorner。Therewasactually,apairofstockingsoverachair。Heexploredtheroom。
  Twobooksofhisownwerethereontheshelf。Heundressed,foldedhissuit,andsatonthebed,listening。Thenheblew,outthecandle,laydown,andintwominuteswasalmostasleep。
  Thenclick!——hewaswideawakeandwrithingintorment。Itwasasif,whenhehadnearlygottosleep,somethinghadbittenhimsuddenly,andsenthimmad。Hesatupandlookedattheroominthedarkness,hisfeetdoubledunderhim,perfectlymotionless,listening。Heheard,acatsomewhereawayoutside;thentheheavy,poisedtread,ofthemother;thenClara’sdistinctvoice:
  “Willyouunfastenmydress?”
  Therewassilenceforsometime。Atlastthemothersaid:
  “Nowthen!aren’tyoucomingup?”
  “No,notyet,“repliedthedaughtercalmly。
  “Oh,verywellthen!,Ifit’snotlateenough,stopabitlonger。
  Onlyyouneedn’tcomewakingmeupwhenI’vegottosleep。”
  “Ishan’tbelong,“saidClara。
  ImmediatelyafterwardsPaulheardthemotherslowlymounting,thestairs。Thecandlelightflashedthroughthecracksinhisdoor。
  Herdressbrushedthedoor,andhisheartjumped。Thenitwasdark,andheheardtheclatterofherlatch。Shewasveryleisurelyindeed,inherpreparationsforsleep。Afteralongtimeitwasquitestill。
  Hesatstrunguponthebed,shiveringslightly。Hisdoorwas,aninchopen。AsClaracameupstairs,hewouldintercepther。
  Hewaited。Allwasdeadsilence。Theclockstrucktwo。Thenhe,heardaslightscrapeofthefenderdownstairs。Nowhecouldnot,helphimself。Hisshiveringwasuncontrollable。Hefelthemustgo,ordie。
  Hesteppedoffthebed,andstoodamoment,shuddering。
  Thenhewentstraighttothedoor。Hetriedtosteplightly。
  Thefirststaircrackedlikeashot。Helistened。Theoldwoman,stirredinherbed。Thestaircasewasdark。Therewasaslit,oflightunderthestair-footdoor,whichopenedintothekitchen。
  Hestoodamoment。Thenhewenton,mechanically。Everystepcreaked,andhisbackwascreeping,lesttheoldwoman’sdoorshouldopen,behindhimupabove。Hefumbledwiththedooratthebottom。
  Thelatchopenedwithaloudclack。Hewentthroughintothekitchen,andshutthedoornoisilybehindhim。Theoldwomandaren’t,comenow。
  Thenhestood,arrested。Clarawaskneelingonapileofwhite,underclothingonthehearthrug,herbacktowardshim,warmingherself。
  Shedidnotlookround,butsatcrouchingonherheels,andher,roundedbeautifulbackwastowardshim,andherfacewashidden。
  Shewaswarmingherbodyatthefireforconsolation。Theglow,wasrosyononeside,theshadowwasdarkandwarmontheother。
  Herarmshungslack。
  Heshudderedviolently,clenchinghisteethandfistshard,tokeepcontrol。Thenhewentforwardtoher。Heputonehand,onhershoulder,thefingersoftheotherhandunderherchinto,raiseherface。Aconvulsedshiverranthroughher,once,twice,athistouch。Shekeptherheadbent。
  “Sorry!”hemurmured,realisingthathishandswereverycold。
  Thenshelookedupathim,frightened,likeathingthatis,afraidofdeath。
  “Myhandsaresocold,“hemurmured。
  “Ilikeit,“shewhispered,closinghereyes。
  Thebreathofherwordswereonhismouth。Herarmsclasped,hisknees。Thecordofhissleeping-suitdangledagainstherandmade,hershiver。Asthewarmthwentintohim,hisshudderingbecameless。
  Atlength,unabletostandsoanymore,heraisedher,andshe,buriedherheadonhisshoulder。Hishandswentoverherslowly,withaninfinitetendernessofcaress。Sheclungclosetohim,tryingtohideherselfagainsthim。Heclaspedherveryfast。
  Thenatlastshelookedathim,mute,imploring,lookingtoseeifshe,mustbeashamed。
  Hiseyesweredark,verydeep,andveryquiet。Itwasasifher,beautyandhistakingithurthim,madehimsorrowful。Helookedat,herwithalittlepain,andwasafraid。Hewassohumblebeforeher。
  Shekissedhimferventlyontheeyes,firstone,thentheother,andshefoldedherselftohim。Shegaveherself。Heheldherfast。
  Itwasamomentintensealmosttoagony。
  Shestoodlettinghimadoreherandtremblewithjoyofher。
  Ithealedherhurtpride。Ithealedher;itmadeherglad。Itmade,herfeelerectandproudagain。Herpridehadbeenwoundedinsideher。
  Shehadbeencheapened。Nowsheradiatedwithjoyandprideagain。
  Itwasherrestorationandherrecognition。
  Thenhelookedather,hisfaceradiant。Theylaughedto,eachother,andhestrainedhertohischest。Thesecondstickedoff,theminutespassed,andstillthetwostoodclaspedrigidtogether,mouthtomouth,likeastatueinoneblock。
  Butagainhisfingerswentseekingoverher,restless,wandering,dissatisfied。Thehotbloodcameupwaveuponwave。
  Shelaidherheadonhisshoulder。
  “Comeyoutomyroom,“hemurmured。
  Shelookedathimandshookherhead,hermouthpouting,disconsolately,hereyesheavywithpassion。Hewatchedherfixedly。
  “Yes!”hesaid。
  Againsheshookherhead。
  “Whynot?”heasked。
  Shelookedathimstillheavily,sorrowfully,andagainshe,shookherhead。Hiseyeshardened,andhegaveway。
  When,lateron,hewasbackinbed,hewonderedwhyshehad,refusedtocometohimopenly,sothathermotherwouldknow。
  Atanyrate,thenthingswouldhavebeendefinite。Andshecould,havestayedwithhimthenight,withouthavingtogo,asshewas,tohermother’sbed。Itwasstrange,andhecouldnotunderstandit。
  Andthenalmostimmediatelyhefellasleep。
  Heawokeinthemorningwithsomeonespeakingtohim。
  Openinghiseyes,hesawMrs。Radford,bigandstately,lookingdown,onhim。Sheheldacupofteainherhand。
  “Doyouthinkyou’regoingtosleeptillDoomsday?”shesaid。
  Helaughedatonce。
  “Itoughtonlytobeaboutfiveo’clock,“hesaid。
  “Well,“sheanswered,“it’shalf-pastseven,whetherornot。
  Here,I’vebroughtyouacupoftea。”
  Herubbedhisface,pushedthetumbledhairoffhisforehead,androusedhimself。
  “What’sitsolatefor!”hegrumbled。
  Heresentedbeingwakened。Itamusedher。Shesawhisneck,intheflannelsleeping-jacket,aswhiteandroundasagirl’s。He,rubbedhishaircrossly。
  “It’snogoodyourscratchingyourhead,“shesaid。
  “Itwon’tmakeitnoearlier。Here,an’howlongd’youthinkI’m,goingtostandwaitingwi’thisherecup?”
  “Oh,dashthecup!”hesaid。
  “Youshouldgotobedearlier,“saidthewoman。
  Helookedupather,laughingwithimpudence。
  “IwenttobedbeforeYOUdid,“hesaid。
  “Yes,myGuyney,youdid!”sheexclaimed。
  “Fancy,“hesaid,stirringhistea,“havingteabroughttobed,tome!,Mymother’llthinkI’mruinedforlife。”
  “Don’tsheneverdoit?”askedMrs。Radford。
  “She’dasleavethinkofflying。”
  “Ah,Ialwaysspoiltmylot!,That’swhythey’veturnedout,suchbaduns,“saidtheelderlywoman。
  “You’donlyClara,“hesaid。”AndMr。Radford’sinheaven。
  SoIsupposethere’sonlyyoulefttobethebadun。”
  “I’mnotbad;I’monlysoft,“shesaid,asshewentout,ofthebedroom。”I’monlyafool,Iam!”
  Clarawasveryquietatbreakfast,butshehadasortofair,ofproprietorshipoverhimthatpleasedhiminfinitely。Mrs。Radford,wasevidentlyfondofhim。Hebegantotalkofhispainting。
  “What’sthegood,“exclaimedthemother,“ofyourwhittling,andworryingandtwistin’andtoo-in’atthatpaintingofyours?
  WhatGOODdoesitdoyou,Ishouldliketoknow?,You’dbetter,beenjoyin’yourself。”
  “Oh,but,“exclaimedPaul,“Imadeoverthirtyguineaslastyear。”
  “Didyou!,Well,that’saconsideration,butit’snothing,tothetimeyouputin。”
  “AndI’vegotfourpoundsowing。Amansaidhe’dgivemefive,poundsifI’dpainthimandhismissisandthedogandthecottage。
  AndIwentandputthefowlsininsteadofthedog,andhewaswaxy,soIhadtoknockaquidoff。Iwassickofit,andIdidn’tlike,thedog。Imadeapictureofit。WhatshallIdowhenhepaysme,thefourpounds?”
  “Nay!youknowyourownusesforyourmoney,“saidMrs。Radford。
  “ButI’mgoingtobustthisfourpounds。Shouldwego,totheseasideforadayortwo?”
  “Who?”
  “YouandClaraandme。”
  “What,onyourmoney!”sheexclaimed,half-wrathful。
  “Whynot?”
  “YOUwouldn’tbelonginbreakingyourneckatahurdlerace!”
  shesaid。
  “SolongasIgetagoodrunformymoney!,Willyou?”
  “Nay;youmaysettlethatatweenyou。”
  “Andyou’rewilling?”heasked,amazedandrejoicing。
  “You’lldoasyoulike,“saidMrs。Radford,“whetherI’m,willingornot。”
  CHAPTERXIII
  BAXTERDAWES
  SOONafterPaulhadbeentothetheatrewithClara,hewasdrinking,inthePunchBowlwithsomefriendsofhiswhenDawescamein。
  Clara’shusbandwasgrowingstout;hiseyelidsweregettingslack,overhisbrowneyes;hewaslosinghishealthyfirmnessofflesh。
  Hewasveryevidentlyonthedownwardtrack。Havingquarrelled,withhissister,hehadgoneintocheaplodgings。Hismistress,hadlefthimforamanwhowouldmarryher。Hehadbeeninprison,onenightforfightingwhenhewasdrunk,andtherewasashady,bettingepisodeinwhichhewasconcerned。
  Paulandhewereconfirmedenemies,andyettherewasbetween,themthatpeculiarfeelingofintimacy,asiftheyweresecretly,neartoeachother,whichsometimesexistsbetweentwopeople,althoughtheyneverspeaktooneanother。Pauloftenthoughtof,BaxterDawes,oftenwantedtogetathimandbefriendswithhim。
  HeknewthatDawesoftenthoughtabouthim,andthatthemanwas,drawntohimbysomebondorother。Andyetthetwoneverlooked,ateachothersaveinhostility。
  SincehewasasuperioremployeeatJordan’s,itwasthething,forPaultoofferDawesadrink。
  “What’llyouhave?”heaskedofhim。
  “Nowtwi’ableederlikeyou!”repliedtheman。
  Paulturnedawaywithaslightdisdainfulmovementoftheshoulders,veryirritating。
  “Thearistocracy,“hecontinued,“isreallyamilitaryinstitution。
  TakeGermany,now。She’sgotthousandsofaristocratswhoseonly,meansofexistenceisthearmy。They’redeadlypoor,andlife’s,deadlyslow。Sotheyhopeforawar。Theylookforwarasachance,ofgettingon。Tillthere’sawartheyareidlegood-for-nothings。
  Whenthere’sawar,theyareleadersandcommanders。Thereyouare,then——theyWANTwar!”
  Hewasnotafavouritedebaterinthepublic-house,beingtoo,quickandoverbearing。Heirritatedtheoldermenbyhisassertive,manner,andhiscocksureness。Theylistenedinsilence,andwere,notsorrywhenhefinished。
  Dawesinterruptedtheyoungman’sflowofeloquencebyasking,inaloudsneer:
  “Didyoulearnallthatatth’theatreth’othernight?”
  Paullookedathim;theireyesmet。ThenheknewDaweshad,seenhimcomingoutofthetheatrewithClara。
  “Why,whataboutth’theatre?”askedoneofPaul’sassociates,gladtogetadigattheyoungfellow,andsniffingsomethingtasty。
  “Oh,himinabob-tailedeveningsuit,onthelardy-da!”
  sneeredDawes,jerkinghisheadcontemptuouslyatPaul。
  “That’scomin’itstrong,“saidthemutualfriend。
  “Tartan’all?”
  “Tart,begod!”saidDawes。
  “Goon;let’shaveit!”criedthemutualfriend。
  “You’vegotit,“saidDawes,“an’IreckonMorellyhaditan’all。”
  “Well,I’llbejiggered!”saidthemutualfriend。”An’wasit,apropertart?”
  “Tart,Godblimey——yes!”
  “Howdoyouknow?”
  “Oh,“saidDawes,“Ireckonhespentth’night——“
  TherewasagooddealoflaughteratPaul’sexpense。
  “ButwhoWASshe?,D’youknowher?”askedthemutualfriend。
  “IshouldSHAYSHO,“saidDawes。
  Thisbroughtanotherburstoflaughter。
  “Thenspititout,“saidthemutualfriend。
  Dawesshookhishead,andtookagulpofbeer。
  “It’sawonderhehasn’tletonhimself,“hesaid。
  “He’llbebraggin’ofitinabit。”
  “Comeon,Paul,“saidthefriend;“it’snogood。Youmight,justaswellownup。”
  “Ownupwhat?,ThatIhappenedtotakeafriendtothetheatre?”
  “Ohwell,ifitwasallright,telluswhoshewas,lad,“
  saidthefriend。
  “SheWASallright,“saidDawes。
  Paulwasfurious。Daweswipedhisgoldenmoustachewith,hisfingers,sneering。
  “Strikeme——!,Oneo’thatsort?”saidthemutualfriend。
  “Paul,boy,I’msurprisedatyou。Anddoyouknowher,Baxter?”
  “Justabit,like!”
  Hewinkedattheothermen。
  “Ohwell,“saidPaul,“I’llbegoing!”
  Themutualfriendlaidadetaininghandonhisshoulder。
  “Nay,“hesaid,“youdon’tgetoffaseasyasthat,mylad。
  We’vegottohaveafullaccountofthisbusiness。”
  “ThengetitfromDawes!”hesaid。
  “Youshouldn’tfunkyourowndeeds,man,“remonstratedthefriend。
  ThenDawesmadearemarkwhichcausedPaultothrowhalf,aglassofbeerinhisface。
  “Oh,Mr。Morel!”criedthebarmaid,andsherangthebell,forthe“chucker-out“。
  Dawesspatandrushedfortheyoungman。Atthatminute,abrawnyfellowwithhisshirt-sleevesrolledupandhistrousers,tightoverhishaunchesintervened。
  “Now,then!”hesaid,pushinghischestinfrontofDawes。
  “Comeout!”criedDawes。
  Paulwasleaning,whiteandquivering,againstthebrassrail,ofthebar。HehatedDawes,wishedsomethingcouldexterminate,himatthatminute;andatthesametime,seeingthewethairon,theman’sforehead,hethoughthelookedpathetic。Hedidnotmove。
  “Comeout,you——,“saidDawes。
  “That’senough,Dawes,“criedthebarmaid。
  “Comeon,“saidthe“chucker-out“withkindlyinsistence,“you’dbetterbegettingon。”
  And,bymakingDawesedgeawayfromhisowncloseproximity,heworkedhimtothedoor。
  “THAT’Sthelittlesodasstartedit!”criedDawes,half-cowed,pointingtoPaulMorel。
  “Why,whatastory,Mr。Dawes!”saidthebarmaid。”Youknow,itwasyouallthetime。”
  Stillthe“chucker-out“keptthrustinghischestforwardathim,stillhekeptedgingback,untilhewasinthedoorwayandonthe,stepsoutside;thenheturnedround。
  “Allright,“hesaid,noddingstraightathisrival。
  Paulhadacurioussensationofpity,almostofaffection,mingledwithviolenthate,fortheman。Thecoloureddoorswungto;
  therewassilenceinthebar。
  “Serve,him,jollywellright!”saidthebarmaid。
  “Butit’sanastythingtogetaglassofbeerinyoureyes,“
  saidthemutualfriend。
  “ItellyouIwasgladhedid,“saidthebarmaid。”Willyou,haveanother,Mr。Morel?”
  SheheldupPaul’sglassquestioningly。Henodded。
  “He’samanasdoesn’tcareforanything,isBaxterDawes,“
  saidone。
  “Pooh!ishe?”saidthebarmaid。”He’saloud-mouthedone,heis,andthey’renevermuchgood。Givemeapleasant-spokenchap,ifyouwantadevil!”
  “Well,Paul,mylad,“saidthefriend,“you’llhavetotake,careofyourselfnowforawhile。”
  “Youwon’thavetogivehimachanceoveryou,that’sall,“
  saidthebarmaid。
  “Canyoubox?”askedafriend。
  “Notabit,“heanswered,stillverywhite。
  “Imightgiveyouaturnortwo,“saidthefriend。
  “Thanks,Ihaven’ttime。”
  Andpresentlyhetookhisdeparture。
  “Goalongwithhim,Mr。Jenkinson,“whisperedthebarmaid,tippingMr。Jenkinsonthewink。
  Themannodded,tookhishat,said:,“Good-nightall!”
  veryheartily,andfollowedPaul,calling:
  “Halfaminute,oldman。Youan’me’sgoingthesameroad,Ibelieve。”
  “Mr。Moreldoesn’tlikeit,“saidthebarmaid。”You’llsee,weshan’thavehiminmuchmore。I’msorry;he’sgoodcompany。
  AndBaxterDaweswantslockingup,that’swhathewants。”
  Paulwouldhavediedratherthanhismothershouldget,toknowofthisaffair。Hesufferedtorturesofhumiliation,andself-consciousness。Therewasnowagooddealofhislife,ofwhichnecessarilyhecouldnotspeaktohismother。Hehad,alifeapartfromher——hissexuallife。Therestshestillkept。
  Buthefelthehadtoconcealsomethingfromher,anditirkedhim。
  Therewasacertainsilencebetweenthem,andhefelthehad,inthatsilence,todefendhimselfagainsther;hefeltcondemned,byher。Thensometimeshehatedher,andpulledatherbondage。
  Hislifewantedtofreeitselfofher。Itwaslikeacirclewherelife,turnedbackonitself,andgotnofarther。Sheborehim,lovedhim,kepthim,andhisloveturnedbackintoher,sothathecouldnot,befreetogoforwardwithhisownlife,reallyloveanotherwoman。
  Atthisperiod,unknowingly,heresistedhismother’sinfluence。
  Hedidnottellherthings;therewasadistancebetweenthem。
  Clarawashappy,almostsureofhim。Shefeltshehadatlast,gothimforherself;andthenagaincametheuncertainty。Hetold,herjestinglyoftheaffairwithherhusband。Hercolourcameup,hergreyeyesflashed。
  “That’shimtoa’T’,“shecried——“likeanavvy!,He’snotfit,formixingwithdecentfolk。”
  “Yetyoumarriedhim,“hesaid。
  Itmadeherfuriousthatheremindedher。
  “Idid!”shecried。”ButhowwasItoknow?”
  “Ithinkhemighthavebeenrathernice,“hesaid。
  “YouthinkImadehimwhatheis!”sheexclaimed。
  “Ohno!hemadehimself。Butthere’ssomethingabouthim——“