chapter15
CHAPTER15
Mrs。Dashwood’svisittoLadyMiddletontookplacethenextday,andtwoofherdaughterswentwithher;
butMarianneexcusedherselffrombeingoftheparty,undersometriflingpretextofemployment;andhermother,whoconcludedthatapromisehadbeenmadebyWilloughbythenightbeforeofcallingonherwhiletheywereabsent,wasperfectlysatisfiedwithherremainingathome。
OntheirreturnfromtheparktheyfoundWilloughby’scurricleandservantinwaitingatthecottage,andMrs。Dashwoodwasconvincedthatherconjecturehadbeenjust。Sofaritwasallasshehadforeseen;
butonenteringthehouseshebeheldwhatnoforesighthadtaughthertoexpect。TheywerenosoonerinthepassagethanMariannecamehastilyoutoftheparlourapparentlyinviolentaffliction,withherhandkerchiefathereyes;andwithoutnoticingthemranupstairs。
Surprisedandalarmedtheyproceededdirectlyintotheroomshehadjustquitted,wheretheyfoundonlyWilloughby,whowasleaningagainstthemantel-piecewithhisbacktowardsthem。Heturnedroundontheircomingin,andhiscountenanceshewedthathestronglypartookoftheemotionwhichover-poweredMarianne。
“Isanythingthematterwithher?”criedMrs。
Dashwoodassheentered——“issheill?”
“Ihopenot,“hereplied,tryingtolookcheerful;
andwithaforcedsmilepresentlyadded,“ItisIwhomayratherexpecttobeill——forIamnowsufferingunderaveryheavydisappointment!”
“Disappointment?”
“Yes,forIamunabletokeepmyengagementwithyou。
Mrs。Smithhasthismorningexercisedtheprivilegeofrichesuponapoordependentcousin,bysendingmeonbusinesstoLondon。Ihavejustreceivedmydispatches,andtakenmyfarewellofAllenham;andbywayofexhilarationIamnowcometotakemyfarewellofyou。”
“ToLondon!——andareyougoingthismorning?”
“Almostthismoment。”
“Thisisveryunfortunate。ButMrs。Smithmustbeobliged;——andherbusinesswillnotdetainyoufromuslongIhope。”
Hecolouredashereplied,“Youareverykind,butI
havenoideaofreturningintoDevonshireimmediately。
MyvisitstoMrs。Smithareneverrepeatedwithinthetwelvemonth。”
“AndisMrs。Smithyouronlyfriend?
IsAllenhamtheonlyhouseintheneighbourhoodtowhichyouwillbewelcome?
Forshame,Willoughby,canyouwaitforaninvitationhere?”
Hiscolourincreased;andwithhiseyesfixedonthegroundheonlyreplied,“Youaretoogood。”
Mrs。DashwoodlookedatElinorwithsurprise。
Elinorfeltequalamazement。Forafewmomentseveryonewassilent。Mrs。Dashwoodfirstspoke。
“Ihaveonlytoadd,mydearWilloughby,thatatBartoncottageyouwillalwaysbewelcome;forIwillnotpressyoutoreturnhereimmediately,becauseyouonlycanjudgehowfarTHATmightbepleasingtoMrs。Smith;
andonthisheadIshallbenomoredisposedtoquestionyourjudgmentthantodoubtyourinclination。”
“Myengagementsatpresent,“repliedWilloughby,confusedly,“areofsuchanature——that——Idarenotflattermyself“——
Hestopt。Mrs。Dashwoodwastoomuchastonishedtospeak,andanotherpausesucceeded。ThiswasbrokenbyWilloughby,whosaidwithafaintsmile,“Itisfollytolingerinthismanner。Iwillnottormentmyselfanylongerbyremainingamongfriendswhosesocietyitisimpossibleformenowtoenjoy。”
Hethenhastilytookleaveofthemallandlefttheroom。Theysawhimstepintohiscarriage,andinaminuteitwasoutofsight。
Mrs。Dashwoodfelttoomuchforspeech,andinstantlyquittedtheparlourtogivewayinsolitudetotheconcernandalarmwhichthissuddendepartureoccasioned。
Elinor’suneasinesswasatleastequaltohermother’s。
Shethoughtofwhathadjustpassedwithanxietyanddistrust。
Willoughby’sbehaviourintakingleaveofthem,hisembarrassment,andaffectationofcheerfulness,and,aboveall,hisunwillingnesstoaccepthermother’sinvitation,abackwardnesssounlikealover,sounlikehimself,greatlydisturbedher。Onemomentshefearedthatnoseriousdesignhadeverbeenformedonhisside;andthenextthatsomeunfortunatequarrelhadtakenplacebetweenhimandhersister;——thedistressinwhichMariannehadquittedtheroomwassuchasaseriousquarrelcouldmostreasonablyaccountfor,thoughwhensheconsideredwhatMarianne’sloveforhimwas,aquarrelseemedalmostimpossible。
Butwhatevermightbetheparticularsoftheirseparation,hersister’safflictionwasindubitable;andshethoughtwiththetenderestcompassionofthatviolentsorrowwhichMariannewasinallprobabilitynotmerelygivingwaytoasarelief,butfeedingandencouragingasaduty。
Inabouthalfanhourhermotherreturned,andthoughhereyeswerered,hercountenancewasnotuncheerful。
“OurdearWilloughbyisnowsomemilesfromBarton,Elinor,“
saidshe,asshesatdowntowork,“andwithhowheavyaheartdoeshetravel?”
“Itisallverystrange。Sosuddenlytobegone!Itseemsbuttheworkofamoment。Andlastnighthewaswithussohappy,socheerful,soaffectionate?,Andnow,afteronlytenminutesnotice——Gonetoowithoutintendingtoreturn!——Somethingmorethanwhatbeownedtousmusthavehappened。Hedidnotspeak,hedidnotbehavelikehimself。YOUmusthaveseenthedifferenceaswellasI。
Whatcanitbe?,Cantheyhavequarrelled?,Whyelseshouldhehaveshewnsuchunwillingnesstoacceptyourinvitationhere?”——
“Itwasnotinclinationthathewanted,Elinor;
IcouldplainlyseeTHAT。Hehadnotthepowerofacceptingit。
IhavethoughtitalloverIassureyou,andIcanperfectlyaccountforeverythingthatatfirstseemedstrangetomeaswellastoyou。”
“Canyou,indeed!”
“Yes。Ihaveexplainedittomyselfinthemostsatisfactoryway;——butyou,Elinor,wholovetodoubtwhereyoucan——itwillnotsatisfyYOU,Iknow;butyoushallnottalkMEoutofmytrustinit。IampersuadedthatMrs。SmithsuspectshisregardforMarianne,disapprovesofit,perhapsbecauseshehasotherviewsforhim,andonthataccountiseagertogethimaway;——
andthatthebusinesswhichshesendshimofftotransactisinventedasanexcusetodismisshim。ThisiswhatI
believetohavehappened。Heis,moreover,awarethatsheDOESdisapprovetheconnection,hedaresnotthereforeatpresentconfesstoherhisengagementwithMarianne,andhefeelshimselfobliged,fromhisdependentsituation,togiveintoherschemes,andabsenthimselffromDevonshireforawhile。Youwilltellme,Iknow,thatthismayormayNOThavehappened;butIwilllistentonocavil,unlessyoucanpointoutanyothermethodofunderstandingtheaffairassatisfactoryatthis。
Andnow,Elinor,whathaveyoutosay?”
“Nothing,foryouhaveanticipatedmyanswer。”
“Thenyouwouldhavetoldme,thatitmightormightnothavehappened。Oh,Elinor,howincomprehensibleareyourfeelings!,Youhadrathertakeeviluponcreditthangood。
YouhadratherlookoutformiseryforMarianne,andguiltforpoorWilloughby,thananapologyforthelatter。
Youareresolvedtothinkhimblameable,becausehetookleaveofuswithlessaffectionthanhisusualbehaviourhasshewn。Andisnoallowancetobemadeforinadvertence,orforspiritsdepressedbyrecentdisappointment?,Arenoprobabilitiestobeaccepted,merelybecausetheyarenotcertainties?,Isnothingduetothemanwhomwehaveallsuchreasontolove,andnoreasonintheworldtothinkillof?,Tothepossibilityofmotivesunanswerableinthemselves,thoughunavoidablysecretforawhile?,And,afterall,whatisityoususpecthimof?”
“Icanhardlytellmyself。Butsuspicionofsomethingunpleasantistheinevitableconsequenceofsuchanalterationaswejustwitnessedinhim。
Thereisgreattruth,however,inwhatyouhavenowurgedoftheallowanceswhichoughttobemadeforhim,anditismywishtobecandidinmyjudgmentofeverybody。
Willoughbymayundoubtedlyhaveverysufficientreasonsforhisconduct,andIwillhopethathehas。
ButitwouldhavebeenmorelikeWilloughbytoacknowledgethematonce。Secrecymaybeadvisable;butstillI
cannothelpwonderingatitsbeingpracticedbyhim。”
“Donotblamehim,however,fordepartingfromhischaracter,wherethedeviationisnecessary。
ButyoureallydoadmitthejusticeofwhatIhavesaidinhisdefence?——Iamhappy——andheisacquitted。”
“Notentirely。ItmaybepropertoconcealtheirengagementiftheyAREengagedfromMrs。Smith——
andifthatisthecase,itmustbehighlyexpedientforWilloughbytobebutlittleinDevonshireatpresent。
Butthisisnoexcusefortheirconcealingitfromus。”
“Concealingitfromus!mydearchild,doyouaccuseWilloughbyandMarianneofconcealment?Thisisstrangeindeed,whenyoureyeshavebeenreproachingthemeverydayforincautiousness。”
“Iwantnoproofoftheiraffection,“saidElinor;
“butoftheirengagementIdo。”
“Iamperfectlysatisfiedofboth。”
“Yetnotasyllablehasbeensaidtoyouonthesubject,byeitherofthem。”
“Ihavenotwantedsyllableswhereactionshavespokensoplainly。HasnothisbehaviourtoMarianneandtoallofus,foratleastthelastfortnight,declaredthathelovedandconsideredherashisfuturewife,andthathefeltforustheattachmentofthenearestrelation?,Havewenotperfectlyunderstoodeachother?
Hasnotmyconsentbeendailyaskedbyhislooks,hismanner,hisattentiveandaffectionaterespect?,MyElinor,isitpossibletodoubttheirengagement?,Howcouldsuchathoughtoccurtoyou?,HowisittobesupposedthatWilloughby,persuadedashemustbeofyoursister’slove,shouldleaveher,andleaveherperhapsformonths,withouttellingherofhisaffection;——thattheyshouldpartwithoutamutualexchangeofconfidence?”
“Iconfess,“repliedElinor,“thateverycircumstanceexceptONEisinfavouroftheirengagement;
butthatONEisthetotalsilenceofbothonthesubject,andwithmeitalmostoutweighseveryother。”
“Howstrangethisis!,YoumustthinkwretchedlyindeedofWilloughby,if,afterallthathasopenlypassedbetweenthem,youcandoubtthenatureofthetermsonwhichtheyaretogether。
Hashebeenactingapartinhisbehaviourtoyoursisterallthistime?,Doyousupposehimreallyindifferenttoher?”
“No,Icannotthinkthat。HemustanddoesloveherIamsure。”
“Butwithastrangekindoftenderness,ifhecanleaveherwithsuchindifference,suchcarelessnessofthefuture,asyouattributetohim。”
“Youmustremember,mydearmother,thatI
haveneverconsideredthismatterascertain。Ihavehadmydoubts,Iconfess;buttheyarefainterthantheywere,andtheymaysoonbeentirelydoneaway。Ifwefindtheycorrespond,everyfearofminewillberemoved。”
“Amightyconcessionindeed!,Ifyouweretoseethematthealtar,youwouldsupposetheyweregoingtobemarried。Ungraciousgirl!,ButIrequirenosuchproof。
Nothinginmyopinionhaseverpassedtojustifydoubt;
nosecrecyhasbeenattempted;allhasbeenuniformlyopenandunreserved。Youcannotdoubtyoursister’swishes。
ItmustbeWilloughbythereforewhomyoususpect。Butwhy?
Ishenotamanofhonourandfeeling?Hastherebeenanyinconsistencyonhissidetocreatealarm?canhebedeceitful?”
“Ihopenot,Ibelievenot,“criedElinor。
“IloveWilloughby,sincerelylovehim;andsuspicionofhisintegritycannotbemorepainfultoyourselfthantome。
Ithasbeeninvoluntary,andIwillnotencourageit。
Iwasstartled,Iconfess,bythealterationinhismannersthismorning;——hedidnotspeaklikehimself,anddidnotreturnyourkindnesswithanycordiality。
Butallthismaybeexplainedbysuchasituationofhisaffairsasyouhavesupposed。Hehadjustpartedfrommysister,hadseenherleavehiminthegreatestaffliction;
andifhefeltobliged,fromafearofoffendingMrs。Smith,toresistthetemptationofreturningheresoon,andyetawarethatbydecliningyourinvitation,bysayingthathewasgoingawayforsometime,heshouldseemtoactanungenerous,asuspiciouspartbyourfamily,bemightwellbeembarrassedanddisturbed。Insuchacase,aplainandopenavowalofhisdifficultieswouldhavebeenmoretohishonourIthink,aswellasmoreconsistentwithhisgeneralcharacter;——butIwillnotraiseobjectionsagainstanyone’sconductonsoilliberalafoundation,asadifferenceinjudgmentfrommyself,oradeviationfromwhatImaythinkrightandconsistent。”
“Youspeakveryproperly。Willoughbycertainlydoesnotdeservetobesuspected。ThoughWEhavenotknownhimlong,heisnostrangerinthispartoftheworld;
andwhohaseverspokentohisdisadvantage?,Hadhebeeninasituationtoactindependentlyandmarryimmediately,itmighthavebeenoddthatheshouldleaveuswithoutacknowledgingeverythingtomeatonce:butthisisnotthecase。
Itisanengagementinsomerespectsnotprosperouslybegun,fortheirmarriagemustbeataveryuncertaindistance;
andevensecrecy,asfarasitcanbeobserved,maynowbeveryadvisable。”
TheywereinterruptedbytheentranceofMargaret;
andElinorwasthenatlibertytothinkovertherepresentationsofhermother,toacknowledgetheprobabilityofmany,andhopeforthejusticeofall。
TheysawnothingofMariannetilldinnertime,whensheenteredtheroomandtookherplaceatthetablewithoutsayingaword。Hereyeswereredandswollen;
anditseemedasifhertearswereeventhenrestrainedwithdifficulty。Sheavoidedthelooksofthemall,couldneithereatnorspeak,andaftersometime,onhermother’ssilentlypressingherhandwithtendercompassion,hersmalldegreeoffortitudewasquiteovercome,sheburstintotearsandlefttheroom。
Thisviolentoppressionofspiritscontinuedthewholeevening。Shewaswithoutanypower,becauseshewaswithoutanydesireofcommandoverherself。
TheslightestmentionofanythingrelativetoWilloughbyoverpoweredherinaninstant;andthoughherfamilyweremostanxiouslyattentivetohercomfort,itwasimpossibleforthem,iftheyspokeatall,tokeepclearofeverysubjectwhichherfeelingsconnectedwithhim。
chapter16
CHAPTER16
MariannewouldhavethoughtherselfveryinexcusablehadshebeenabletosleepatallthefirstnightafterpartingfromWilloughby。Shewouldhavebeenashamedtolookherfamilyinthefacethenextmorning,hadshenotrisenfromherbedinmoreneedofreposethanwhenshelaydowninit。Butthefeelingswhichmadesuchcomposureadisgrace,leftherinnodangerofincurringit。Shewasawakethewholenight,andsheweptthegreatestpartofit。Shegotupwithaheadache,wasunabletotalk,andunwillingtotakeanynourishment;
givingpaineverymomenttohermotherandsisters,andforbiddingallattemptatconsolationfromeither。
Hersensibilitywaspotentenough!
Whenbreakfastwasovershewalkedoutbyherself,andwanderedaboutthevillageofAllenham,indulgingtherecollectionofpastenjoymentandcryingoverthepresentreverseforthechiefofthemorning。
Theeveningpassedoffintheequalindulgenceoffeeling。
SheplayedovereveryfavouritesongthatshehadbeenusedtoplaytoWilloughby,everyairinwhichtheirvoiceshadbeenoftenestjoined,andsatattheinstrumentgazingoneverylineofmusicthathehadwrittenoutforher,tillherheartwassoheavythatnofarthersadnesscouldbegained;andthisnourishmentofgriefwaseverydayapplied。Shespentwholehoursatthepianofortealternatelysingingandcrying;hervoiceoftentotallysuspendedbyhertears。Inbookstoo,aswellasinmusic,shecourtedthemiserywhichacontrastbetweenthepastandpresentwascertainofgiving。Shereadnothingbutwhattheyhadbeenusedtoreadtogether。
Suchviolenceofafflictionindeedcouldnotbesupportedforever;itsunkwithinafewdaysintoacalmermelancholy;
buttheseemployments,towhichshedailyrecurred,hersolitarywalksandsilentmeditations,stillproducedoccasionaleffusionsofsorrowaslivelyasever。
NoletterfromWilloughbycame;andnoneseemedexpectedbyMarianne。Hermotherwassurprised,andElinoragainbecameuneasy。ButMrs。Dashwoodcouldfindexplanationswhenevershewantedthem,whichatleastsatisfiedherself。
“Remember,Elinor,“saidshe,“howveryoftenSirJohnfetchesourlettershimselffromthepost,andcarriesthemtoit。Wehavealreadyagreedthatsecrecymaybenecessary,andwemustacknowledgethatitcouldnotbemaintainediftheircorrespondenceweretopassthroughSirJohn’shands。”
Elinorcouldnotdenythetruthofthis,andshetriedtofindinitamotivesufficientfortheirsilence。
Buttherewasonemethodsodirect,sosimple,andinheropinionsoeligibleofknowingtherealstateoftheaffair,andofinstantlyremovingallmystery,thatshecouldnothelpsuggestingittohermother。
“WhydoyounotaskMarianneatonce,“saidshe,“whethersheisorsheisnotengagedtoWilloughby?,Fromyou,hermother,andsokind,soindulgentamother,thequestioncouldnotgiveoffence。Itwouldbethenaturalresultofyouraffectionforher。Sheusedtobeallunreserve,andtoyoumoreespecially。”
“Iwouldnotasksuchaquestionfortheworld。
Supposingitpossiblethattheyarenotengaged,whatdistresswouldnotsuchanenquiryinflict!,Atanyrateitwouldbemostungenerous。Ishouldneverdeserveherconfidenceagain,afterforcingfromheraconfessionofwhatismeantatpresenttobeunacknowledgedtoanyone。
IknowMarianne’sheart:Iknowthatshedearlylovesme,andthatIshallnotbethelasttowhomtheaffairismadeknown,whencircumstancesmaketherevealmentofiteligible。
Iwouldnotattempttoforcetheconfidenceofanyone;
ofachildmuchless;becauseasenseofdutywouldpreventthedenialwhichherwishesmightdirect。”
Elinorthoughtthisgenerosityoverstrained,consideringhersister’syouth,andurgedthematterfarther,butinvain;commonsense,commoncare,commonprudence,wereallsunkinMrs。Dashwood’sromanticdelicacy。
ItwasseveraldaysbeforeWilloughby’snamewasmentionedbeforeMariannebyanyofherfamily;
SirJohnandMrs。Jennings,indeed,werenotsonice;
theirwitticismsaddedpaintomanyapainfulhour;——
butoneevening,Mrs。Dashwood,accidentallytakingupavolumeofShakespeare,exclaimed,“WehaveneverfinishedHamlet,Marianne;ourdearWilloughbywentawaybeforewecouldgetthroughit。
Wewillputitby,thatwhenhecomesagain……Butitmaybemonths,perhaps,beforeTHAThappens。”
“Months!”criedMarianne,withstrongsurprise。
“No——normanyweeks。”
Mrs。Dashwoodwassorryforwhatshehadsaid;
butitgaveElinorpleasure,asitproducedareplyfromMariannesoexpressiveofconfidenceinWilloughbyandknowledgeofhisintentions。
Onemorning,aboutaweekafterhisleavingthecountry,Mariannewasprevailedontojoinhersistersintheirusualwalk,insteadofwanderingawaybyherself。
Hithertoshehadcarefullyavoidedeverycompanioninherrambles。Ifhersistersintendedtowalkonthedowns,shedirectlystoleawaytowardsthelanes;iftheytalkedofthevalley,shewasasspeedyinclimbingthehills,andcouldneverbefoundwhentheotherssetoff。
ButatlengthshewassecuredbytheexertionsofElinor,whogreatlydisapprovedsuchcontinualseclusion。Theywalkedalongtheroadthroughthevalley,andchieflyinsilence,forMarianne’sMINDcouldnotbecontrolled,andElinor,satisfiedwithgainingonepoint,wouldnotthenattemptmore。
Beyondtheentranceofthevalley,wherethecountry,thoughstillrich,waslesswildandmoreopen,alongstretchoftheroadwhichtheyhadtravelledonfirstcomingtoBarton,laybeforethem;andonreachingthatpoint,theystoppedtolookaroundthem,andexamineaprospectwhichformedthedistanceoftheirviewfromthecottage,fromaspotwhichtheyhadneverhappenedtoreachinanyoftheirwalksbefore。
Amongsttheobjectsinthescene,theysoondiscoveredananimatedone;itwasamanonhorsebackridingtowardsthem。
Inafewminutestheycoulddistinguishhimtobeagentleman;
andinamomentafterwardsMariannerapturouslyexclaimed,“Itishe;itisindeed;——Iknowitis!”——andwashasteningtomeethim,whenElinorcriedout,“Indeed,Marianne,Ithinkyouaremistaken。
ItisnotWilloughby。Thepersonisnottallenoughforhim,andhasnothisair。”
“Hehas,hehas,“criedMarianne,“Iamsurehehas。
Hisair,hiscoat,hishorse。Iknewhowsoonhewouldcome。”
Shewalkedeagerlyonasshespoke;andElinor,toscreenMariannefromparticularity,asshefeltalmostcertainofitsnotbeingWilloughby,quickenedherpaceandkeptupwithher。Theyweresoonwithinthirtyyardsofthegentleman。Mariannelookedagain;
herheartsunkwithinher;andabruptlyturninground,shewashurryingback,whenthevoicesofbothhersisterswereraisedtodetainher;athird,almostaswellknownasWilloughby’s,joinedtheminbegginghertostop,andsheturnedroundwithsurprisetoseeandwelcomeEdwardFerrars。
HewastheonlypersonintheworldwhocouldatthatmomentbeforgivenfornotbeingWilloughby;
theonlyonewhocouldhavegainedasmilefromher;
butshedispersedhertearstosmileonHIM,andinhersister’shappinessforgotforatimeherowndisappointment。
Hedismounted,andgivinghishorsetohisservant,walkedbackwiththemtoBarton,whitherhewaspurposelycomingtovisitthem。
Hewaswelcomedbythemallwithgreatcordiality,butespeciallybyMarianne,whoshowedmorewarmthofregardinherreceptionofhimthanevenElinorherself。
ToMarianne,indeed,themeetingbetweenEdwardandhersisterwasbutacontinuationofthatunaccountablecoldnesswhichshehadoftenobservedatNorlandintheirmutualbehaviour。
OnEdward’sside,moreparticularly,therewasadeficiencyofallthataloveroughttolookandsayonsuchanoccasion。
Hewasconfused,seemedscarcelysensibleofpleasureinseeingthem,lookedneitherrapturousnorgay,saidlittlebutwhatwasforcedfromhimbyquestions,anddistinguishedElinorbynomarkofaffection。
Mariannesawandlistenedwithincreasingsurprise。
ShebeganalmosttofeeladislikeofEdward;anditended,aseveryfeelingmustendwithher,bycarryingbackherthoughtstoWilloughby,whosemannersformedacontrastsufficientlystrikingtothoseofhisbrotherelect。
Afterashortsilencewhichsucceededthefirstsurpriseandenquiriesofmeeting,MarianneaskedEdwardifhecamedirectlyfromLondon。No,hehadbeeninDevonshireafortnight。
“Afortnight!”sherepeated,surprisedathisbeingsolonginthesamecountywithElinorwithoutseeingherbefore。
Helookedratherdistressedasheadded,thathehadbeenstayingwithsomefriendsnearPlymouth。
“HaveyoubeenlatelyinSussex?”saidElinor。
“IwasatNorlandaboutamonthago。”
“Andhowdoesdear,dearNorlandlook?”criedMarianne。
“Dear,dearNorland,“saidElinor,“probablylooksmuchasitalwaysdoesatthistimeoftheyear。
Thewoodsandwalksthicklycoveredwithdeadleaves。”
“Oh,“criedMarianne,“withwhattransportingsensationhaveIformerlyseenthemfall!,HowhaveIdelighted,asIwalked,toseethemdriveninshowersaboutmebythewind!,Whatfeelingshavethey,theseason,theairaltogetherinspired!,Nowthereisnoonetoregardthem。
Theyareseenonlyasanuisance,swepthastilyoff,anddrivenasmuchaspossiblefromthesight。”
“Itisnoteveryone,“saidElinor,“whohasyourpassionfordeadleaves。”
“No;myfeelingsarenotoftenshared,notoftenunderstood。ButSOMETIMEStheyare。”——Asshesaidthis,shesunkintoareverieforafewmoments;——butrousingherselfagain,“Now,Edward,“saidshe,callinghisattentiontotheprospect,“hereisBartonvalley。Lookuptoit,andbetranquilifyoucan。Lookatthosehills!
Didyoueverseetheirequals?,TotheleftisBartonpark,amongstthosewoodsandplantations。Youmayseetheendofthehouse。Andthere,beneaththatfarthesthill,whichriseswithsuchgrandeur,isourcottage。”
“Itisabeautifulcountry,“hereplied;“butthesebottomsmustbedirtyinwinter。”
“Howcanyouthinkofdirt,withsuchobjectsbeforeyou?”
“Because,“repliedhe,smiling,“amongtherestoftheobjectsbeforeme,Iseeaverydirtylane。”
“Howstrange!”saidMariannetoherselfasshewalkedon。
“Haveyouanagreeableneighbourhoodhere?
AretheMiddletonspleasantpeople?”
“No,notall,“answeredMarianne;“wecouldnotbemoreunfortunatelysituated。”
“Marianne,“criedhersister,“howcanyousayso?Howcanyoubesounjust?,Theyareaveryrespectablefamily,Mr。Ferrars;
andtowardsushavebehavedinthefriendliestmanner。Haveyouforgot,Marianne,howmanypleasantdayswehaveowedtothem?”
“No,“saidMarianne,inalowvoice,“norhowmanypainfulmoments。”
Elinortooknonoticeofthis;anddirectingherattentiontotheirvisitor,endeavouredtosupportsomethinglikediscoursewithhim,bytalkingoftheirpresentresidence,itsconveniences,&c。extortingfromhimoccasionalquestionsandremarks。Hiscoldnessandreservemortifiedherseverely;shewasvexedandhalfangry;
butresolvingtoregulateherbehaviourtohimbythepastratherthanthepresent,sheavoidedeveryappearanceofresentmentordispleasure,andtreatedhimasshethoughtheoughttobetreatedfromthefamilyconnection。
chapter17
CHAPTER17
Mrs。Dashwoodwassurprisedonlyforamomentatseeinghim;forhiscomingtoBartonwas,inheropinion,ofallthingsthemostnatural。Herjoyandexpressionofregardlongoutlivedherwonder。Hereceivedthekindestwelcomefromher;andshyness,coldness,reservecouldnotstandagainstsuchareception。Theyhadbeguntofailhimbeforeheenteredthehouse,andtheywerequiteovercomebythecaptivatingmannersofMrs。Dashwood。Indeedamancouldnotverywellbeinlovewitheitherofherdaughters,withoutextendingthepassiontoher;andElinorhadthesatisfactionofseeinghimsoonbecomemorelikehimself。
Hisaffectionsseemedtoreanimatetowardsthemall,andhisinterestintheirwelfareagainbecameperceptible。
Hewasnotinspirits,however;hepraisedtheirhouse,admireditsprospect,wasattentive,andkind;butstillhewasnotinspirits。Thewholefamilyperceivedit,andMrs。Dashwood,attributingittosomewantofliberalityinhismother,satdowntotableindignantagainstallselfishparents。
“WhatareMrs。Ferrars’sviewsforyouatpresent,Edward?”
saidshe,whendinnerwasoverandtheyhaddrawnroundthefire;“areyoustilltobeagreatoratorinspiteofyourself?”
“No。IhopemymotherisnowconvincedthatIhavenomoretalentsthaninclinationforapubliclife!”
“Buthowisyourfametobeestablished?forfamousyoumustbetosatisfyallyourfamily;andwithnoinclinationforexpense,noaffectionforstrangers,noprofession,andnoassurance,youmayfinditadifficultmatter。”
“Ishallnotattemptit。Ihavenowishtobedistinguished;andhaveeveryreasontohopeInevershall。
ThankHeaven!Icannotbeforcedintogeniusandeloquence。”
“Youhavenoambition,Iwellknow。Yourwishesareallmoderate。”
“Asmoderateasthoseoftherestoftheworld,Ibelieve。Iwishaswellaseverybodyelsetobeperfectlyhappy;but,likeeverybodyelseitmustbeinmyownway。Greatnesswillnotmakemeso。”
“Strangethatitwould!”criedMarianne。
“Whathavewealthorgrandeurtodowithhappiness?”
“Grandeurhasbutlittle,“saidElinor,“butwealthhasmuchtodowithit。”
“Elinor,forshame!”saidMarianne,“moneycanonlygivehappinesswherethereisnothingelsetogiveit。
Beyondacompetence,itcanaffordnorealsatisfaction,asfarasmereselfisconcerned。”
“Perhaps,“saidElinor,smiling,“wemaycometothesamepoint。YOURcompetenceandMYwealthareverymuchalike,Idaresay;andwithoutthem,astheworldgoesnow,weshallbothagreethateverykindofexternalcomfortmustbewanting。Yourideasareonlymorenoblethanmine。Come,whatisyourcompetence?”
“Abouteighteenhundredortwothousandayear;
notmorethanTHAT。”
Elinorlaughed。”TWOthousandayear!
ONEismywealth!Iguessedhowitwouldend。”
“Andyettwothousanda-yearisaverymoderateincome,“
saidMarianne。”Afamilycannotwellbemaintainedonasmaller。IamsureIamnotextravagantinmydemands。
Aproperestablishmentofservants,acarriage,perhapstwo,andhunters,cannotbesupportedonless。”
Elinorsmiledagain,tohearhersisterdescribingsoaccuratelytheirfutureexpensesatCombeMagna。
“Hunters!”repeatedEdward——“butwhymustyouhavehunters?,Everybodydoesnothunt。”
Mariannecolouredasshereplied,“Butmostpeopledo。”
“Iwish,“saidMargaret,strikingoutanovelthought,“thatsomebodywouldgiveusallalargefortuneapiece!”
“Ohthattheywould!”criedMarianne,hereyessparklingwithanimation,andhercheeksglowingwiththedelightofsuchimaginaryhappiness。
“Weareallunanimousinthatwish,Isuppose,“
saidElinor,“inspiteoftheinsufficiencyofwealth。”
“Ohdear!”criedMargaret,“howhappyIshouldbe!
IwonderwhatIshoulddowithit!”
Mariannelookedasifshehadnodoubtonthatpoint。
“Ishouldbepuzzledtospendsolargeafortunemyself,“
saidMrs。Dashwood,“ifmychildrenwerealltoberichmyhelp。”
“Youmustbeginyourimprovementsonthishouse,“
observedElinor,“andyourdifficultieswillsoonvanish。”
“WhatmagnificentorderswouldtravelfromthisfamilytoLondon,“saidEdward,“insuchanevent!,Whatahappydayforbooksellers,music-sellers,andprint-shops!,You,MissDashwood,wouldgiveageneralcommissionforeverynewprintofmerittobesentyou——andasforMarianne,Iknowhergreatnessofsoul,therewouldnotbemusicenoughinLondontocontenther。Andbooks!——Thomson,Cowper,Scott——shewouldbuythemalloverandoveragain:shewouldbuyupeverycopy,Ibelieve,topreventtheirfallingintounworthyhands;andshewouldhaveeverybookthattellsherhowtoadmireanoldtwistedtree。
Shouldnotyou,Marianne?,Forgiveme,ifIamverysaucy。
ButIwaswillingtoshewyouthatIhadnotforgotourolddisputes。”
“Ilovetoberemindedofthepast,Edward——whetheritbemelancholyorgay,Ilovetorecallit——andyouwillneveroffendmebytalkingofformertimes。
Youareveryrightinsupposinghowmymoneywouldbespent——someofit,atleast——myloosecashwouldcertainlybeemployedinimprovingmycollectionofmusicandbooks。”
“Andthebulkofyourfortunewouldbelaidoutinannuitiesontheauthorsortheirheirs。”
“No,Edward,Ishouldhavesomethingelsetodowithit。”
“Perhaps,then,youwouldbestowitasarewardonthatpersonwhowrotetheablestdefenceofyourfavouritemaxim,thatnoonecaneverbeinlovemorethanonceintheirlife——youropiniononthatpointisunchanged,Ipresume?”
“Undoubtedly。Atmytimeoflifeopinionsaretolerablyfixed。
ItisnotlikelythatIshouldnowseeorhearanythingtochangethem。”
“Marianneisassteadfastasever,yousee,“
saidElinor,“sheisnotatallaltered。”
“Sheisonlygrownalittlemoregravethanshewas。”
“Nay,Edward,“saidMarianne,“youneednotreproachme。
Youarenotverygayyourself。”
“Whyshouldyouthinkso!”repliedhe,withasigh。
“ButgaietyneverwasapartofMYcharacter。”
“NordoIthinkitapartofMarianne’s,“saidElinor;
“Ishouldhardlycallheralivelygirl——sheisveryearnest,veryeagerinallshedoes——sometimestalksagreatdealandalwayswithanimation——butsheisnotoftenreallymerry。”
“Ibelieveyouareright,“hereplied,“andyetI
havealwayssetherdownasalivelygirl。”
“Ihavefrequentlydetectedmyselfinsuchkindofmistakes,“
saidElinor,“inatotalmisapprehensionofcharacterinsomepointorother:fancyingpeoplesomuchmoregayorgrave,oringeniousorstupidthantheyreallyare,andIcanhardlytellwhyorinwhatthedeceptionoriginated。
Sometimesoneisguidedbywhattheysayofthemselves,andveryfrequentlybywhatotherpeoplesayofthem,withoutgivingoneselftimetodeliberateandjudge。”
“ButIthoughtitwasright,Elinor,“saidMarianne,“tobeguidedwhollybytheopinionofotherpeople。
Ithoughtourjudgmentsweregivenusmerelytobesubservienttothoseofneighbours。Thishasalwaysbeenyourdoctrine,Iamsure。”
“No,Marianne,never。Mydoctrinehasneveraimedatthesubjectionoftheunderstanding。AllIhaveeverattemptedtoinfluencehasbeenthebehaviour。
Youmustnotconfoundmymeaning。Iamguilty,Iconfess,ofhavingoftenwishedyoutotreatouracquaintanceingeneralwithgreaterattention;butwhenhaveIadvisedyoutoadopttheirsentimentsortoconformtotheirjudgmentinseriousmatters?”
“Youhavenotbeenabletobringyoursisterovertoyourplanofgeneralcivility,“saidEdwardtoElinor,“Doyougainnoground?”
“Quitethecontrary,“repliedElinor,lookingexpressivelyatMarianne。
“Myjudgment,“hereturned,“isallonyoursideofthequestion;butIamafraidmypracticeismuchmoreonyoursister’s。Ineverwishtooffend,butI
amsofoolishlyshy,thatIoftenseemnegligent,whenIamonlykeptbackbymynaturalawkwardness。
IhavefrequentlythoughtthatImusthavebeenintendedbynaturetobefondoflowcompany,Iamsolittleatmyeaseamongstrangersofgentility!”
“Mariannehasnotshynesstoexcuseanyinattentionofhers,“saidElinor。
“Sheknowsherownworthtoowellforfalseshame,“
repliedEdward。”Shynessisonlytheeffectofasenseofinferiorityinsomewayorother。IfIcouldpersuademyselfthatmymannerswereperfectlyeasyandgraceful,Ishouldnotbeshy。”
“Butyouwouldstillbereserved,“saidMarianne,“andthatisworse。”
Edwardstarted——“Reserved!AmIreserved,Marianne?”
“Yes,very。”
“Idonotunderstandyou,“repliedhe,colouring。
“Reserved!——how,inwhatmanner?,WhatamItotellyou?
Whatcanyousuppose?”
Elinorlookedsurprisedathisemotion;buttryingtolaughoffthesubject,shesaidtohim,“Donotyouknowmysisterwellenoughtounderstandwhatshemeans?
Donotyouknowshecallseveryonereservedwhodoesnottalkasfast,andadmirewhatsheadmiresasrapturouslyasherself?”
Edwardmadenoanswer。Hisgravityandthoughtfulnessreturnedonhimintheirfullestextent——andhesatforsometimesilentanddull。
chapter18
CHAPTER18
Elinorsaw,withgreatuneasinessthelowspiritsofherfriend。Hisvisitaffordedherbutaverypartialsatisfaction,whilehisownenjoymentinitappearedsoimperfect。Itwasevidentthathewasunhappy;
shewisheditwereequallyevidentthathestilldistinguishedherbythesameaffectionwhichonceshehadfeltnodoubtofinspiring;buthithertothecontinuanceofhispreferenceseemedveryuncertain;
andthereservednessofhismannertowardshercontradictedonemomentwhatamoreanimatedlookhadintimatedtheprecedingone。
HejoinedherandMarianneinthebreakfast-roomthenextmorningbeforetheothersweredown;andMarianne,whowasalwayseagertopromotetheirhappinessasfarasshecould,soonleftthemtothemselves。Butbeforeshewashalfwayupstairssheheardtheparlourdooropen,and,turninground,wasastonishedtoseeEdwardhimselfcomeout。
“Iamgoingintothevillagetoseemyhorses,“
saidbe,“asyouarenotyetreadyforbreakfast;Ishallbebackagainpresently。”
***
Edwardreturnedtothemwithfreshadmirationofthesurroundingcountry;inhiswalktothevillage,hehadseenmanypartsofthevalleytoadvantage;
andthevillageitself,inamuchhighersituationthanthecottage,affordedageneralviewofthewhole,whichhadexceedinglypleasedhim。ThiswasasubjectwhichensuredMarianne’sattention,andshewasbeginningtodescribeherownadmirationofthesescenes,andtoquestionhimmoreminutelyontheobjectsthathadparticularlystruckhim,whenEdwardinterruptedherbysaying,“Youmustnotenquiretoofar,Marianne——rememberIhavenoknowledgeinthepicturesque,andIshalloffendyoubymyignoranceandwantoftasteifwecometoparticulars。Ishallcallhillssteep,whichoughttobebold;surfacesstrangeanduncouth,whichoughttobeirregularandrugged;
anddistantobjectsoutofsight,whichoughtonlytobeindistinctthroughthesoftmediumofahazyatmosphere。
YoumustbesatisfiedwithsuchadmirationasIcanhonestlygive。Icallitaveryfinecountry——thehillsaresteep,thewoodsseemfulloffinetimber,andthevalleylookscomfortableandsnug——withrichmeadowsandseveralneatfarmhousesscatteredhereandthere。Itexactlyanswersmyideaofafinecountry,becauseitunitesbeautywithutility——andIdaresayitisapicturesqueonetoo,becauseyouadmireit;Icaneasilybelieveittobefullofrocksandpromontories,greymossandbrushwood,butthesearealllostonme。
Iknownothingofthepicturesque。”
“Iamafraiditisbuttootrue,“saidMarianne;
“butwhyshouldyouboastofit?”
“Isuspect,“saidElinor,“thattoavoidonekindofaffectation,Edwardherefallsintoanother。Becausehebelievesmanypeoplepretendtomoreadmirationofthebeautiesofnaturethantheyreallyfeel,andisdisgustedwithsuchpretensions,heaffectsgreaterindifferenceandlessdiscriminationinviewingthemhimselfthanhepossesses。
Heisfastidiousandwillhaveanaffectationofhisown。”
“Itisverytrue,“saidMarianne,“thatadmirationoflandscapesceneryisbecomeamerejargon。
Everybodypretendstofeelandtriestodescribewiththetasteandeleganceofhimwhofirstdefinedwhatpicturesquebeautywas。Idetestjargonofeverykind,andsometimesIhavekeptmyfeelingstomyself,becauseIcouldfindnolanguagetodescribetheminbutwhatwaswornandhackneyedoutofallsenseandmeaning。”
“Iamconvinced,“saidEdward,“thatyoureallyfeelallthedelightinafineprospectwhichyouprofesstofeel。But,inreturn,yoursistermustallowmetofeelnomorethanIprofess。Ilikeafineprospect,butnotonpicturesqueprinciples。Idonotlikecrooked,twisted,blastedtrees。Iadmirethemmuchmoreiftheyaretall,straight,andflourishing。Idonotlikeruined,tatteredcottages。Iamnotfondofnettlesorthistles,orheathblossoms。Ihavemorepleasureinasnugfarm-housethanawatch-tower——andatroopoftidy,happyvillagespleasemebetterthanthefinestbandittiintheworld。”
MariannelookedwithamazementatEdward,withcompassionathersister。Elinoronlylaughed。
Thesubjectwascontinuednofarther;andMarianneremainedthoughtfullysilent,tillanewobjectsuddenlyengagedherattention。ShewassittingbyEdward,andintakinghisteafromMrs。Dashwood,hishandpassedsodirectlybeforeher,astomakearing,withaplaitofhairinthecentre,veryconspicuousononeofhisfingers。
“Ineversawyouweararingbefore,Edward,“
shecried。
“IsthatFanny’shair?Irememberherpromisingtogiveyousome。ButIshouldhavethoughtherhairhadbeendarker。”
Mariannespokeinconsideratelywhatshereallyfelt——
butwhenshesawhowmuchshehadpainedEdward,herownvexationatherwantofthoughtcouldnotbesurpassedbyhis。Hecolouredverydeeply,andgivingamomentaryglanceatElinor,replied,“Yes;itismysister’shair。
Thesettingalwayscastsadifferentshadeonit,youknow。”
Elinorhadmethiseye,andlookedconsciouslikewise。
Thatthehairwasherown,sheinstantaneouslyfeltaswellsatisfiedasMarianne;theonlydifferenceintheirconclusionswas,thatwhatMarianneconsideredasafreegiftfromhersister,Elinorwasconsciousmusthavebeenprocuredbysometheftorcontrivanceunknowntoherself。
Shewasnotinahumour,however,toregarditasanaffront,andaffectingtotakenonoticeofwhatpassed,byinstantlytalkingofsomethingelse,sheinternallyresolvedhenceforwardtocatcheveryopportunityofeyeingthehairandofsatisfyingherself,beyondalldoubt,thatitwasexactlytheshadeofherown。
Edward’sembarrassmentlastedsometime,anditendedinanabsenceofmindstillmoresettled。
Hewasparticularlygravethewholemorning。
Marianneseverelycensuredherselfforwhatshehadsaid;
butherownforgivenessmighthavebeenmorespeedy,hadsheknownhowlittleoffenceithadgivenhersister。
Beforethemiddleoftheday,theywerevisitedbySirJohnandMrs。Jennings,who,havingheardofthearrivalofagentlemanatthecottage,cametotakeasurveyoftheguest。Withtheassistanceofhismother-in-law,SirJohnwasnotlongindiscoveringthatthenameofFerrarsbeganwithanF。andthispreparedafuturemineofrailleryagainstthedevotedElinor,whichnothingbutthenewnessoftheiracquaintancewithEdwardcouldhavepreventedfrombeingimmediatelysprung。But,asitwas,sheonlylearned,fromsomeverysignificantlooks,howfartheirpenetration,foundedonMargaret’sinstructions,extended。
SirJohnnevercametotheDashwoodswithouteitherinvitingthemtodineattheparkthenextday,ortodrinkteawiththemthatevening。Onthepresentoccasion,forthebetterentertainmentoftheirvisitor,towardswhoseamusementhefelthimselfboundtocontribute,hewishedtoengagethemforboth。
“YouMUSTdrinkteawithustonight,“saidhe,“forweshallbequitealone——andtomorrowyoumustabsolutelydinewithus,forweshallbealargeparty。”
Mrs。Jenningsenforcedthenecessity。
“Andwhoknowsbutyoumayraiseadance,“saidshe。”AndthatwilltemptYOU,MissMarianne。”
“Adance!”criedMarianne。”Impossible!
Whoistodance?”
“Who!whyyourselves,andtheCareys,andWhitakerstobesure——What!youthoughtnobodycoulddancebecauseacertainpersonthatshallbenamelessisgone!”
“Iwishwithallmysoul,“criedSirJohn,“thatWilloughbywereamongusagain。”
This,andMarianne’sblushing,gavenewsuspicionstoEdward。”AndwhoisWilloughby?”saidhe,inalowvoice,toMissDashwood,bywhomhewassitting。
Shegavehimabriefreply。Marianne’scountenancewasmorecommunicative。Edwardsawenoughtocomprehend,notonlythemeaningofothers,butsuchofMarianne’sexpressionsashadpuzzledhimbefore;andwhentheirvisitorsleftthem,hewentimmediatelyroundher,andsaid,inawhisper,“Ihavebeenguessing。ShallItellyoumyguess?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“ShallItellyou。”
“Certainly。”
“Wellthen;IguessthatMr。Willoughbyhunts。”
Mariannewassurprisedandconfused,yetshecouldnothelpsmilingatthequietarchnessofhismanner,andafteramoment’ssilence,said,“Oh,Edward!Howcanyou?——ButthetimewillcomeIhope……Iamsureyouwilllikehim。”
“Idonotdoubtit,“repliedhe,ratherastonishedatherearnestnessandwarmth;forhadhenotimaginedittobeajokeforthegoodofheracquaintanceingeneral,foundedonlyonasomethingoranothingbetweenMr。Willoughbyandherself,hewouldnothaveventuredtomentionit。
chapter19
CHAPTER19
Edwardremainedaweekatthecottage;hewasearnestlypressedbyMrs。Dashwoodtostaylonger;but,asifhewerebentonlyonself-mortification,heseemedresolvedtobegonewhenhisenjoymentamonghisfriendswasattheheight。Hisspirits,duringthelasttwoorthreedays,thoughstillveryunequal,weregreatlyimproved——hegrewmoreandmorepartialtothehouseandenvirons——neverspokeofgoingawaywithoutasigh——declaredhistimetobewhollydisengaged——evendoubtedtowhatplaceheshouldgowhenheleftthem——butstill,gohemust。
Neverhadanyweekpassedsoquickly——hecouldhardlybelieveittobegone。Hesaidsorepeatedly;otherthingshesaidtoo,whichmarkedtheturnofhisfeelingsandgavethelietohisactions。HehadnopleasureatNorland;
hedetestedbeingintown;buteithertoNorlandorLondon,hemustgo。Hevaluedtheirkindnessbeyondanything,andhisgreatesthappinesswasinbeingwiththem。
Yet,hemustleavethemattheendofaweek,inspiteoftheirwishesandhisown,andwithoutanyrestraintonhistime。
Elinorplacedallthatwasastonishinginthiswayofactingtohismother’saccount;anditwashappyforherthathehadamotherwhosecharacterwassoimperfectlyknowntoher,astobethegeneralexcuseforeverythingstrangeonthepartofherson。
Disappointed,however,andvexedasshewas,andsometimesdispleasedwithhisuncertainbehaviourtoherself,shewasverywelldisposedonthewholetoregardhisactionswithallthecandidallowancesandgenerousqualifications,whichhadbeenrathermorepainfullyextortedfromher,forWilloughby’sservice,byhermother。Hiswantofspirits,ofopenness,andofconsistency,weremostusuallyattributedtohiswantofindependence,andhisbetterknowledgeofMrs。Ferrars’sdispositionanddesigns。
Theshortnessofhisvisit,thesteadinessofhispurposeinleavingthem,originatedinthesamefetteredinclination,thesameinevitablenecessityoftemporizingwithhismother。
Theoldwell-establishedgrievanceofdutyagainstwill,parentagainstchild,wasthecauseofall。Shewouldhavebeengladtoknowwhenthesedifficultiesweretocease,thisoppositionwastoyield,——whenMrs。Ferrarswouldbereformed,andhersonbeatlibertytobehappy。
ButfromsuchvainwishesshewasforcedtoturnforcomforttotherenewalofherconfidenceinEdward’saffection,totheremembranceofeverymarkofregardinlookorwordwhichfellfromhimwhileatBarton,andabovealltothatflatteringproofofitwhichheconstantlyworeroundhisfinger。
“Ithink,Edward,“saidMrs。Dashwood,astheywereatbreakfastthelastmorning,“youwouldbeahappiermanifyouhadanyprofessiontoengageyourtimeandgiveaninteresttoyourplansandactions。Someinconveniencetoyourfriends,indeed,mightresultfromit——youwouldnotbeabletogivethemsomuchofyourtime。
Butwithasmileyouwouldbemateriallybenefitedinoneparticularatleast——youwouldknowwheretogowhenyouleftthem。”
“Idoassureyou,“hereplied,“thatIhavelongthoughtonthispoint,asyouthinknow。Ithasbeen,andis,andprobablywillalwaysbeaheavymisfortunetome,thatIhavehadnonecessarybusinesstoengageme,noprofessiontogivemeemployment,oraffordmeanythinglikeindependence。Butunfortunatelymyownnicety,andthenicetyofmyfriends,havemademewhatIam,anidle,helplessbeing。Wenevercouldagreeinourchoiceofaprofession。Ialwayspreferredthechurch,asIstilldo。Butthatwasnotsmartenoughformyfamily。
Theyrecommendedthearmy。Thatwasagreatdealtoosmartforme。Thelawwasallowedtobegenteelenough;manyyoungmen,whohadchambersintheTemple,madeaverygoodappearanceinthefirstcircles,anddroveabouttowninveryknowinggigs。ButIhadnoinclinationforthelaw,eveninthislessabstrusestudyofit,whichmyfamilyapproved。Asforthenavy,ithadfashiononitsside,butIwastoooldwhenthesubjectwasfirststartedtoenterit——and,atlength,astherewasnonecessityformyhavinganyprofessionatall,asImightbeasdashingandexpensivewithoutaredcoatonmybackaswithone,idlenesswaspronouncedonthewholetobemostadvantageousandhonourable,andayoungmanofeighteenisnotingeneralsoearnestlybentonbeingbusyastoresistthesolicitationsofhisfriendstodonothing。IwasthereforeenteredatOxfordandhavebeenproperlyidleeversince。”
“Theconsequenceofwhich,Isuppose,willbe,“
saidMrs。Dashwood,“sinceleisurehasnotpromotedyourownhappiness,thatyoursonswillbebroughtuptoasmanypursuits,employments,professions,andtradesasColumella’s。”
“Theywillbebroughtup,“saidhe,inaseriousaccent,“tobeasunlikemyselfasispossible。Infeeling,inaction,incondition,ineverything。”
“Come,come;thisisallaneffusionofimmediatewantofspirits,Edward。Youareinamelancholyhumour,andfancythatanyoneunlikeyourselfmustbehappy。
Butrememberthatthepainofpartingfromfriendswillbefeltbyeverybodyattimes,whateverbetheireducationorstate。Knowyourownhappiness。Youwantnothingbutpatience——orgiveitamorefascinatingname,callithope。Yourmotherwillsecuretoyou,intime,thatindependenceyouaresoanxiousfor;itisherduty,anditwill,itmusterelongbecomeherhappinesstopreventyourwholeyouthfrombeingwastedindiscontent。
Howmuchmaynotafewmonthsdo?”
“Ithink,“repliedEdward,“thatImaydefymanymonthstoproduceanygoodtome。”
Thisdespondingturnofmind,thoughitcouldnotbecommunicatedtoMrs。Dashwood,gaveadditionalpaintothemallintheparting,whichshortlytookplace,andleftanuncomfortableimpressiononElinor’sfeelingsespecially,whichrequiredsometroubleandtimetosubdue。Butasitwasherdeterminationtosubdueit,andtopreventherselffromappearingtosuffermorethanwhatallherfamilysufferedonhisgoingaway,shedidnotadoptthemethodsojudiciouslyemployedbyMarianne,onasimilaroccasion,toaugmentandfixhersorrow,byseekingsilence,solitudeandidleness。Theirmeanswereasdifferentastheirobjects,andequallysuitedtotheadvancementofeach。
Elinorsatdowntoherdrawing-tableassoonashewasoutofthehouse,busilyemployedherselfthewholeday,neithersoughtnoravoidedthementionofhisname,appearedtointerestherselfalmostasmuchaseverinthegeneralconcernsofthefamily,andif,bythisconduct,shedidnotlessenherowngrief,itwasatleastpreventedfromunnecessaryincrease,andhermotherandsistersweresparedmuchsolicitudeonheraccount。
Suchbehaviourasthis,soexactlythereverseofherown,appearednomoremeritorioustoMarianne,thanherownhadseemedfaultytoher。Thebusinessofself-commandshesettledveryeasily;——withstrongaffectionsitwasimpossible,withcalmonesitcouldhavenomerit。Thathersister’saffectionsWEREcalm,shedarednotdeny,thoughsheblushedtoacknowledgeit;
andofthestrengthofherown,shegaveaverystrikingproof,bystilllovingandrespectingthatsister,inspiteofthismortifyingconviction。
Withoutshuttingherselfupfromherfamily,orleavingthehouseindeterminedsolitudetoavoidthem,orlyingawakethewholenighttoindulgemeditation,ElinorfoundeverydayaffordedherleisureenoughtothinkofEdward,andofEdward’sbehaviour,ineverypossiblevarietywhichthedifferentstateofherspiritsatdifferenttimescouldproduce,——withtenderness,pity,approbation,censure,anddoubt。Thereweremomentsinabundance,when,ifnotbytheabsenceofhermotherandsisters,atleastbythenatureoftheiremployments,conversationwasforbiddenamongthem,andeveryeffectofsolitudewasproduced。Hermindwasinevitablyatliberty;herthoughtscouldnotbechainedelsewhere;
andthepastandthefuture,onasubjectsointeresting,mustbebeforeher,mustforceherattention,andengrosshermemory,herreflection,andherfancy。
Fromareverieofthiskind,asshesatatherdrawing-table,shewasrousedonemorning,soonafterEdward’sleavingthem,bythearrivalofcompany。
Shehappenedtobequitealone。Theclosingofthelittlegate,attheentranceofthegreencourtinfrontofthehouse,drewhereyestothewindow,andshesawalargepartywalkinguptothedoor。AmongstthemwereSirJohnandLadyMiddletonandMrs。Jennings,butthereweretwoothers,agentlemanandlady,whowerequiteunknowntoher。Shewassittingnearthewindow,andassoonasSirJohnperceivedher,helefttherestofthepartytotheceremonyofknockingatthedoor,andsteppingacrosstheturf,obligedhertoopenthecasementtospeaktohim,thoughthespacewassoshortbetweenthedoorandthewindow,astomakeithardlypossibletospeakatonewithoutbeingheardattheother。
“Well,“saidhe,“wehavebroughtyousomestrangers。
Howdoyoulikethem?”
“Hush!theywillhearyou。”
“Nevermindiftheydo。ItisonlythePalmers。
Charlotteisverypretty,Icantellyou。Youmayseeherifyoulookthisway。”
AsElinorwascertainofseeingherinacoupleofminutes,withouttakingthatliberty,shebeggedtobeexcused。
“WhereisMarianne?Hassherunawaybecausewearecome?Iseeherinstrumentisopen。”
“Sheiswalking,Ibelieve。”
TheywerenowjoinedbyMrs。Jennings,whohadnotpatienceenoughtowaittillthedoorwasopenedbeforeshetoldHERstory。Shecamehallooingtothewindow,“Howdoyoudo,mydear?,HowdoesMrs。Dashwooddo?
Andwhereareyoursisters?,What!allalone!youwillbegladofalittlecompanytositwithyou。
Ihavebroughtmyothersonanddaughtertoseeyou。
Onlythinkoftheircomingsosuddenly!,IthoughtIheardacarriagelastnight,whileweweredrinkingourtea,butitneverenteredmyheadthatitcouldbethem。
IthoughtofnothingbutwhetheritmightnotbeColonelBrandoncomebackagain;soIsaidtoSirJohn,IdothinkIhearacarriage;perhapsitisColonelBrandoncomebackagain“——
Elinorwasobligedtoturnfromher,inthemiddleofherstory,toreceivetherestoftheparty;LadyMiddletonintroducedthetwostrangers;Mrs。DashwoodandMargaretcamedownstairsatthesametime,andtheyallsatdowntolookatoneanother,whileMrs。Jenningscontinuedherstoryasshewalkedthroughthepassageintotheparlour,attendedbySirJohn。
Mrs。PalmerwasseveralyearsyoungerthanLadyMiddleton,andtotallyunlikeherineveryrespect。
Shewasshortandplump,hadaveryprettyface,andthefinestexpressionofgoodhumourinitthatcouldpossiblybe。Hermannerswerebynomeanssoelegantashersister’s,buttheyweremuchmoreprepossessing。
Shecameinwithasmile,smiledallthetimeofhervisit,exceptwhenshelaughed,andsmiledwhenshewentaway。
Herhusbandwasagravelookingyoungmanoffiveorsixandtwenty,withanairofmorefashionandsensethanhiswife,butoflesswillingnesstopleaseorbepleased。
Heenteredtheroomwithalookofself-consequence,slightlybowedtotheladies,withoutspeakingaword,and,afterbrieflysurveyingthemandtheirapartments,tookupanewspaperfromthetable,andcontinuedtoreaditaslongashestaid。
Mrs。Palmer,onthecontrary,whowasstronglyendowedbynaturewithaturnforbeinguniformlycivilandhappy,washardlyseatedbeforeheradmirationoftheparlourandeverythinginitburstforth。
“Well!whatadelightfulroomthisis!Ineversawanythingsocharming!,Onlythink,Mamma,howitisimprovedsinceIwasherelast!Ialwaysthoughtitsuchasweetplace,ma’am!turningtoMrs。Dashwood
butyouhavemadeitsocharming!,Onlylook,sister,howdelightfuleverythingis!HowIshouldlikesuchahouseformyself!,Shouldnotyou,Mr。Palmer?”
Mr。Palmermadehernoanswer,anddidnotevenraisehiseyesfromthenewspaper。
“Mr。Palmerdoesnothearme,“saidshe,laughing;
“heneverdoessometimes。Itissoridiculous!”
ThiswasquiteanewideatoMrs。Dashwood;
shehadneverbeenusedtofindwitintheinattentionofanyone,andcouldnothelplookingwithsurpriseatthemboth。
Mrs。Jennings,inthemeantime,talkedonasloudasshecould,andcontinuedheraccountoftheirsurprise,theeveningbefore,onseeingtheirfriends,withoutceasingtilleverythingwastold。Mrs。Palmerlaughedheartilyattherecollectionoftheirastonishment,andeverybodyagreed,twoorthreetimesover,thatithadbeenquiteanagreeablesurprise。
“Youmaybelievehowgladweallweretoseethem,“
addedMrs。Jennings,leaningforwardtowardsElinor,andspeakinginalowvoiceasifshemeanttobeheardbynooneelse,thoughtheywereseatedondifferentsidesoftheroom;“but,however,Ican’thelpwishingtheyhadnottravelledquitesofast,normadesuchalongjourneyofit,fortheycameallroundbyLondonuponaccountofsomebusiness,foryouknownoddingsignificantlyandpointingtoherdaughteritwaswronginhersituation。
Iwantedhertostayathomeandrestthismorning,butshewouldcomewithus;shelongedsomuchtoseeyouall!”
Mrs。Palmerlaughed,andsaiditwouldnotdoheranyharm。
“SheexpectstobeconfinedinFebruary,“
continuedMrs。Jennings。
LadyMiddletoncouldnolongerenduresuchaconversation,andthereforeexertedherselftoaskMr。Palmeriftherewasanynewsinthepaper。
“No,noneatall,“hereplied,andreadon。
“HerecomesMarianne,“criedSirJohn。
“Now,Palmer,youshallseeamonstrousprettygirl。”
Heimmediatelywentintothepassage,openedthefrontdoor,andusheredherinhimself。Mrs。Jenningsaskedher,assoonassheappeared,ifshehadnotbeentoAllenham;
andMrs。Palmerlaughedsoheartilyatthequestion,astoshowsheunderstoodit。Mr。Palmerlookeduponherenteringtheroom,staredathersomeminutes,andthenreturnedtohisnewspaper。Mrs。Palmer’seyewasnowcaughtbythedrawingswhichhungroundtheroom。
Shegotuptoexaminethem。
“Oh!dear,howbeautifultheseare!,Well!
howdelightful!
Dobutlook,mama,howsweet!Ideclaretheyarequitecharming;
Icouldlookatthemforever。”Andthensittingdownagain,sheverysoonforgotthattherewereanysuchthingsintheroom。
WhenLadyMiddletonrosetogoaway,Mr。Palmerrosealso,laiddownthenewspaper,stretchedhimselfandlookedatthemallaround。
“Mylove,haveyoubeenasleep?”saidhiswife,laughing。
Hemadehernoanswer;andonlyobserved,afteragainexaminingtheroom,thatitwasverylowpitched,andthattheceilingwascrooked。Hethenmadehisbow,anddepartedwiththerest。
SirJohnhadbeenveryurgentwiththemalltospendthenextdayatthepark。Mrs。Dashwood,whodidnotchusetodinewiththemoftenerthantheydinedatthecottage,absolutelyrefusedonherownaccount;
herdaughtersmightdoastheypleased。ButtheyhadnocuriositytoseehowMr。andMrs。Palmeratetheirdinner,andnoexpectationofpleasurefromtheminanyotherway。
Theyattempted,therefore,likewise,toexcusethemselves;
theweatherwasuncertain,andnotlikelytobegood。
ButSirJohnwouldnotbesatisfied——thecarriageshouldbesentforthemandtheymustcome。LadyMiddletontoo,thoughshedidnotpresstheirmother,pressedthem。
Mrs。JenningsandMrs。Palmerjoinedtheirentreaties,allseemedequallyanxioustoavoidafamilyparty;andtheyoungladieswereobligedtoyield。
“Whyshouldtheyaskus?”saidMarianne,assoonastheyweregone。”Therentofthiscottageissaidtobelow;
butwehaveitonveryhardterms,ifwearetodineattheparkwheneveranyoneisstayingeitherwiththem,orwithus。”
“Theymeannolesstobecivilandkindtousnow,“
saidElinor,“bythesefrequentinvitations,thanbythosewhichwereceivedfromthemafewweeksago。
Thealterationisnotinthem,iftheirpartiesaregrowntediousanddull。Wemustlookforthechangeelsewhere。”
chapter20
CHAPTER20
AstheMissDashwoodsenteredthedrawing-roomoftheparkthenextday,atonedoor,Mrs。Palmercamerunninginattheother,lookingasgoodhumouredandmerryasbefore。
Shetookthemallmostaffectionatelybythehand,andexpressedgreatdelightinseeingthemagain。
“Iamsogladtoseeyou!”saidshe,seatingherselfbetweenElinorandMarianne,“foritissobadadayIwasafraidyoumightnotcome,whichwouldbeashockingthing,aswegoawayagaintomorrow。Wemustgo,fortheWestonscometousnextweekyouknow。Itwasquiteasuddenthingourcomingatall,andIknewnothingofittillthecarriagewascomingtothedoor,andthenMr。PalmeraskedmeifI
wouldgowithhimtoBarton。Heissodroll!Henevertellsmeanything!Iamsosorrywecannotstaylonger;
howeverweshallmeetagainintownverysoon,Ihope。”
Theywereobligedtoputanendtosuchanexpectation。
“Notgototown!”criedMrs。Palmer,withalaugh,“Ishallbequitedisappointedifyoudonot。Icouldgetthenicesthouseinworldforyou,nextdoortoours,inHanover-square。Youmustcome,indeed。IamsureIshallbeveryhappytochaperonyouatanytimetillIamconfined,ifMrs。Dashwoodshouldnotliketogointopublic。”
Theythankedher;butwereobligedtoresistallherentreaties。
“Oh,mylove,“criedMrs。Palmertoherhusband,whojustthenenteredtheroom——“youmusthelpmetopersuadetheMissDashwoodstogototownthiswinter。”
Herlovemadenoanswer;andafterslightlybowingtotheladies,begancomplainingoftheweather。
“Howhorridallthisis!”saidhe。”Suchweathermakeseverythingandeverybodydisgusting。Dullnessisasmuchproducedwithindoorsaswithout,byrain。
Itmakesonedetestallone’sacquaintance。WhatthedevildoesSirJohnmeanbynothavingabilliardroominhishouse?,Howfewpeopleknowwhatcomfortis!,SirJohnisasstupidastheweather。”
Therestofthecompanysoondroptin。
“Iamafraid,MissMarianne,“saidSirJohn,“youhavenotbeenabletotakeyourusualwalktoAllenhamtoday。”
Mariannelookedverygraveandsaidnothing。
“Oh,don’tbesoslybeforeus,“saidMrs。
Palmer;
“forweknowallaboutit,Iassureyou;andIadmireyourtasteverymuch,forIthinkheisextremelyhandsome。
Wedonotliveagreatwayfromhiminthecountry,youknow。
Notabovetenmiles,Idaresay。”
“Muchnearerthirty,“saidherhusband。
“Ah,well!thereisnotmuchdifference。
Ineverwasathishouse;buttheysayitisasweetprettyplace。”
“AsvileaspotasIeversawinmylife,“
saidMr。Palmer。
Marianneremainedperfectlysilent,thoughhercountenancebetrayedherinterestinwhatwassaid。
“Isitveryugly?”continuedMrs。Palmer——“thenitmustbesomeotherplacethatissoprettyIsuppose。”
Whentheywereseatedinthediningroom,SirJohnobservedwithregretthattheywereonlyeightalltogether。
“Mydear,“saidhetohislady,“itisveryprovokingthatweshouldbesofew。WhydidnotyouasktheGilbertstocometoustoday?”
“DidnotItellyou,SirJohn,whenyouspoketomeaboutitbefore,thatitcouldnotbedone?,Theydinedwithuslast。”
“YouandI,SirJohn,“saidMrs。Jennings,“shouldnotstanduponsuchceremony。”
“Thenyouwouldbeveryill-bred,“criedMr。
Palmer。
“Myloveyoucontradicteverybody,“saidhiswifewithherusuallaugh。”Doyouknowthatyouarequiterude?”
“IdidnotknowIcontradictedanybodyincallingyourmotherill-bred。”
“Ay,youmayabusemeasyouplease,“saidthegood-naturedoldlady,“youhavetakenCharlotteoffmyhands,andcannotgiveherbackagain。SothereIhavethewhiphandofyou。”
Charlottelaughedheartilytothinkthatherhusbandcouldnotgetridofher;andexultinglysaid,shedidnotcarehowcrosshewastoher,astheymustlivetogether。Itwasimpossibleforanyonetobemorethoroughlygood-natured,ormoredeterminedtobehappythanMrs。Palmer。Thestudiedindifference,insolence,anddiscontentofherhusbandgavehernopain;
andwhenhescoldedorabusedher,shewashighlydiverted。
“Mr。Palmerissodroll!”saidshe,inawhisper,toElinor。”Heisalwaysoutofhumour。”
Elinorwasnotinclined,afteralittleobservation,togivehimcreditforbeingsogenuinelyandunaffectedlyill-naturedorill-bredashewishedtoappear。
Histempermightperhapsbealittlesouredbyfinding,likemanyothersofhissex,thatthroughsomeunaccountablebiasinfavourofbeauty,hewasthehusbandofaverysillywoman,——butsheknewthatthiskindofblunderwastoocommonforanysensiblemantobelastinglyhurtbyit——
Itwasratherawishofdistinction,shebelieved,whichproducedhiscontemptuoustreatmentofeverybody,andhisgeneralabuseofeverythingbeforehim。
Itwasthedesireofappearingsuperiortootherpeople。
Themotivewastoocommontobewonderedat;butthemeans,howevertheymightsucceedbyestablishinghissuperiorityinill-breeding,werenotlikelytoattachanyonetohimexcepthiswife。
“Oh,mydearMissDashwood,“saidMrs。Palmersoonafterwards,“Ihavegotsuchafavourtoaskofyouandyoursister。
WillyoucomeandspendsometimeatClevelandthisChristmas?,Now,praydo,——andcomewhiletheWestonsarewithus。YoucannotthinkhowhappyIshallbe!,Itwillbequitedelightful!——Mylove,“applyingtoherhusband,“don’tyoulongtohavetheMissDashwoodscometoCleveland?”
“Certainly,“hereplied,withasneer——“IcameintoDevonshirewithnootherview。”
“Therenow,“——saidhislady,“youseeMr。Palmerexpectsyou;soyoucannotrefusetocome。”
Theybotheagerlyandresolutelydeclinedherinvitation。
“Butindeedyoumustandshallcome。
Iamsureyouwilllikeitofallthings。TheWestonswillbewithus,anditwillbequitedelightful。YoucannotthinkwhatasweetplaceClevelandis;andwearesogaynow,forMr。Palmerisalwaysgoingaboutthecountrycanvassingagainsttheelection;andsomanypeoplecametodinewithusthatIneversawbefore,itisquitecharming!,But,poorfellow!itisveryfatiguingtohim!forheisforcedtomakeeverybodylikehim。”
Elinorcouldhardlykeephercountenanceassheassentedtothehardshipofsuchanobligation。
“Howcharmingitwillbe,“saidCharlotte,“whenheisinParliament!——won’tit?HowIshalllaugh!,ItwillbesoridiculoustoseeallhislettersdirectedtohimwithanM。P——Butdoyouknow,hesays,hewillneverfrankforme?,Hedeclareshewon’t。Don’tyou,Mr。Palmer?”
Mr。Palmertooknonoticeofher。
“Hecannotbearwriting,youknow,“shecontinued——
“hesaysitisquiteshocking。”
“No,“saidhe,“Ineversaidanythingsoirrational。
Don’tpalmallyourabusesoflanguagesuponme。”
“Therenow;youseehowdrollheis。
Thisisalwaysthewaywithhim!,Sometimeshewon’tspeaktomeforhalfadaytogether,andthenhecomesoutwithsomethingsodroll——allaboutanythingintheworld。”
ShesurprisedElinorverymuchastheyreturnedintothedrawing-room,byaskingherwhethershedidnotlikeMr。Palmerexcessively。
“Certainly,“saidElinor;“heseemsveryagreeable。”
“Well——Iamsogladyoudo。Ithoughtyouwould,heissopleasant;andMr。PalmerisexcessivelypleasedwithyouandyoursistersIcantellyou,andyoucan’tthinkhowdisappointedhewillbeifyoudon’tcometoCleveland——Ican’timaginewhyyoushouldobjecttoit。”
Elinorwasagainobligedtodeclineherinvitation;
andbychangingthesubject,putastoptoherentreaties。