CHAPTERI
　　Amongotherpublicbuildingsinacertaintown，whichformanyreasonsitwillbeprudenttorefrainfrommentioning，andtowhichIwillassignnofictitiousname，thereisoneancientlycommontomosttowns，greatorsmall:towit，aworkhouse；andinthisworkhousewasborn；onadayanddatewhichIneednottroublemyselftorepeat，inasmuchasitcanbeofnopossibleconsequencetothereader，inthisstageofthebusinessatallevents；theitemofmortalitywhosenameisprefixedtotheheadofthischapter。
　　Foralongtimeafteritwasusheredintothisworldofsorrowandtrouble，bytheparishsurgeon，itremainedamatterofconsiderabledoubtwhetherthechildwouldsurvivetobearanynameatall；inwhichcaseitissomewhatmorethanprobablethatthesememoirswouldneverhaveappeared；or，iftheyhad，thatbeingcomprisedwithinacoupleofpages，theywouldhavepossessedtheinestimablemeritofbeingthemostconciseandfaithfulspecimenofbiography，extantintheliteratureofanyageorcountry。
　　AlthoughIamnotdisposedtomaintainthatthebeingborninaworkhouse，isinitselfthemostfortunateandenviablecircumstancethatcanpossiblybefallahumanbeing，Idomeantosaythatinthisparticularinstance，itwasthebestthingforOliverTwistthatcouldbypossibilityhaveoccurred。Thefactis，thattherewasconsiderabledifficultyininducingOlivertotakeuponhimselftheofficeofrespiration，——atroublesomepractice，butonewhichcustomhasrenderednecessarytooureasyexistence；andforsometimehelaygaspingonalittleflockmattress，ratherunequallypoisedbetweenthisworldandthenext:thebalancebeingdecidedlyinfavourofthelatter。Now，if，duringthisbriefperiod，Oliverhadbeensurroundedbycarefulgrandmothers，anxiousaunts，experiencednurses，anddoctorsofprofoundwisdom，hewouldmostinevitablyandindubitablyhavebeenkilledinnotime。Therebeingnobodyby，however，butapauperoldwoman，whowasrenderedrathermistybyanunwontedallowanceofbeer；andaparishsurgeonwhodidsuchmattersbycontract；OliverandNaturefoughtoutthepointbetweenthem。Theresultwas，that，afterafewstruggles，Oliverbreathed，sneezed，andproceededtoadvertisetotheinmatesoftheworkhousethefactofanewburdenhavingbeenimposedupontheparish，bysettingupasloudacryascouldreasonablyhavebeenexpectedfromamaleinfantwhohadnotbeenpossessedofthatveryusefulappendage，avoice，foramuchlongerspaceoftimethanthreeminutesandaquarter。
　　AsOlivergavethisfirstproofofthefreeandproperactionofhislungs，thepatchworkcoverletwhichwascarelesslyflungovertheironbedstead，rustled；thepalefaceofayoungwomanwasraisedfeeblyfromthepillow；andafaintvoiceimperfectlyarticulatedthewords，'Letmeseethechild，anddie。'
　　Thesurgeonhadbeensittingwithhisfaceturnedtowardsthefire:givingthepalmsofhishandsawarmandarubalternately。Astheyoungwomanspoke，herose，andadvancingtothebed'shead，said，withmorekindnessthanmighthavebeenexpectedofhim:
　　'Oh，youmustnottalkaboutdyingyet。'
　　'Lorblessherdearheart，no！'interposedthenurse，hastilydepositinginherpocketagreenglassbottle，thecontentsofwhichshehadbeentastinginacornerwithevidentsatisfaction。
　　'Lorblessherdearheart，whenshehaslivedaslongasIhave，sir，andhadthirteenchildrenofherown，andallon'emdeadexcepttwo，andtheminthewurkuswithme，she'llknowbetterthantotakeoninthatway，blessherdearheart！Thinkwhatitistobeamother，there'sadearyounglambdo。'
　　Apparentlythisconsolatoryperspectiveofamother'sprospectsfailedinproducingitsdueeffect。Thepatientshookherhead，andstretchedoutherhandtowardsthechild。
　　Thesurgeondepositeditinherarms。Sheimprintedhercoldwhitelipspassionatelyonitsforehead；passedherhandsoverherface；gazedwildlyround；shuddered；fellback——anddied。
　　Theychafedherbreast，hands，andtemples；butthebloodhadstoppedforever。Theytalkedofhopeandcomfort。Theyhadbeenstrangerstoolong。
　　'It'sallover，Mrs。Thingummy！'saidthesurgeonatlast。
　　'Ah，poordear，soitis！'saidthenurse，pickingupthecorkofthegreenbottle，whichhadfallenoutonthepillow，asshestoopedtotakeupthechild。'Poordear！'
　　'Youneedn'tmindsendinguptome，ifthechildcries，nurse，'
　　saidthesurgeon，puttingonhisgloveswithgreatdeliberation。
　　'It'sverylikelyitWILLbetroublesome。Giveitalittlegruelifitis。'Heputonhishat，and，pausingbythebed-sideonhiswaytothedoor，added，'Shewasagood-lookinggirl，too；
　　wheredidshecomefrom?'
　　'Shewasbroughtherelastnight，'repliedtheoldwoman，'bytheoverseer'sorder。Shewasfoundlyinginthestreet。Shehadwalkedsomedistance，forhershoeswereworntopieces；butwhereshecamefrom，orwhereshewasgoingto，nobodyknows。'
　　Thesurgeonleanedoverthebody，andraisedthelefthand。'Theoldstory，'hesaid，shakinghishead:'nowedding-ring，Isee。
　　Ah！Good-night！'
　　Themedicalgentlemanwalkedawaytodinner；andthenurse，havingoncemoreappliedherselftothegreenbottle，satdownonalowchairbeforethefire，andproceededtodresstheinfant。
　　Whatanexcellentexampleofthepowerofdress，youngOliverTwistwas！Wrappedintheblanketwhichhadhithertoformedhisonlycovering，hemighthavebeenthechildofanoblemanorabeggar；itwouldhavebeenhardforthehaughtieststrangertohaveassignedhimhisproperstationinsociety。Butnowthathewasenvelopedintheoldcalicorobeswhichhadgrownyellowinthesameservice，hewasbadgedandticketed，andfellintohisplaceatonce——aparishchild——theorphanofaworkhouse——thehumble，half-starveddrudge——tobecuffedandbuffetedthroughtheworld——despisedbyall，andpitiedbynone。
　　Olivercriedlustily。Ifhecouldhaveknownthathewasanorphan，lefttothetendermerciesofchurch-wardensandoverseers，perhapshewouldhavecriedthelouder。
　　CHAPTERII
　　TREATSOFOLIVERTWIST'SGROWTH，EDUCATION，ANDBOARD
　　Forthenexteightortenmonths，Oliverwasthevictimofasystematiccourseoftreacheryanddeception。Hewasbroughtupbyhand。Thehungryanddestitutesituationoftheinfantorphanwasdulyreportedbytheworkhouseauthoritiestotheparishauthorities。Theparishauthoritiesinquiredwithdignityoftheworkhouseauthorities，whethertherewasnofemalethendomiciledin'thehouse'whowasinasituationtoimparttoOliverTwist，theconsolationandnourishmentofwhichhestoodinneed。Theworkhouseauthoritiesrepliedwithhumility，thattherewasnot。
　　Uponthis，theparishauthoritiesmagnanimouslyandhumanelyresolved，thatOlivershouldbe'farmed，'or，inotherwords，thatheshouldbedispatchedtoabranch-workhousesomethreemilesoff，wheretwentyorthirtyotherjuvenileoffendersagainstthepoor-laws，rolledaboutthefloorallday，withouttheinconvenienceoftoomuchfoodortoomuchclothing，undertheparentalsuperintendenceofanelderlyfemale，whoreceivedtheculpritsatandfortheconsiderationofsevenpence-halfpennypersmallheadperweek。Sevenpence-halfpenny'sworthperweekisagoodrounddietforachild；agreatdealmaybegotforsevenpence-halfpenny，quiteenoughtooverloaditsstomach，andmakeituncomfortable。Theelderlyfemalewasawomanofwisdomandexperience；sheknewwhatwasgoodforchildren；andshehadaveryaccurateperceptionofwhatwasgoodforherself。So，sheappropriatedthegreaterpartoftheweeklystipendtoherownuse，andconsignedtherisingparochialgenerationtoevenashorterallowancethanwasoriginallyprovidedforthem。Therebyfindinginthelowestdepthadeeperstill；andprovingherselfaverygreatexperimentalphilosopher。
　　Everybodyknowsthestoryofanotherexperimentalphilosopherwhohadagreattheoryaboutahorsebeingabletolivewithouteating，andwhodemonstrateditsowell，thathehadgothisownhorsedowntoastrawaday，andwouldunquestionablyhaverenderedhimaveryspiritedandrampaciousanimalonnothingatall，ifhehadnotdied，four-and-twentyhoursbeforehewastohavehadhisfirstcomfortablebaitofair。Unfortunatelyfor，theexperimenalphilosophyofthefemaletowhoseprotectingcareOliverTwistwasdeliveredover，asimilarresultusuallyattendedtheoperationofHERsystem；forattheverymomentwhenthechildhadcontrivedtoexistuponthesmallestpossibleportionoftheweakestpossiblefood，itdidperverselyhappenineightandahalfcasesoutoften，eitherthatitsickenedfromwantandcold，orfellintothefirefromneglect，orgothalf-smotheredbyaccident；inanyoneofwhichcases，themiserablelittlebeingwasusuallysummonedintoanotherworld，andtheregatheredtothefathersithadneverknowninthis。
　　Occasionally，whentherewassomemorethanusuallyinterestinginquestuponaparishchildwhohadbeenoverlookedinturningupabedstead，orinadvertentlyscaldedtodeathwhentherehappenedtobeawashing——thoughthelatteraccidentwasveryscarce，anythingapproachingtoawashingbeingofrareoccuranceinthefarm——thejurywouldtakeitintotheirheadstoasktroublesomequestions，ortheparishionerswouldrebelliouslyaffixtheirsignaturestoaremonstrance。Buttheseimpertinenceswerespeedilycheckedbytheevidenceofthesurgeon，andthetestimonyofthebeadle；theformerofwhomhadalwaysopenedthebodyandfoundnothinginsidewhichwasveryprobableindeed，andthelatterofwhominvariablysworewhatevertheparishwanted；whichwasveryself-devotional。Besides，theboardmadeperiodicalpilgrimagestothefarm，andalwayssentthebeadlethedaybefore，tosaytheyweregoing。Thechildrenwereneatandcleantobehold，whenTHEYwent；andwhatmorewouldthepeoplehave！
　　Itcannotbeexpectedthatthissystemoffarmingwouldproduceanyveryextraordinaryorluxuriantcrop。OliverTwist'sninthbirthdayfoundhimapalethinchild，somewhatdiminutiveinstature，anddecidelysmallincircumference。ButnatureorinheritancehadimplantedagoodsturdyspiritinOliver'sbreast。Ithadhadplentyofroomtoexpand，thankstothesparedietoftheestablishment；andperhapstothiscircumstancemaybeattributedhishavinganyninthbirth-dayatall。Bethisasitmay，however，itwashisninthbirthday；andhewaskeepingitinthecoal-cellarwithaselectpartyoftwootheryounggentleman，who，afterparticipatingwithhiminasoundthrashing，hadbeenlockedupforatrociouslypresumingtobehungry，whenMrs。Mann，thegoodladyofthehouse，wasunexpectedlystartledbytheapparitionofMr。Bumble，thebeadle，strivingtoundothewicketofthegarden-gate。
　　'Goodnessgracious！Isthatyou，Mr。Bumble，sir?'saidMrs。
　　Mann，thrustingherheadoutofthewindowinwell-affectedecstasiesofjoy。'Susan，takeOliverandthemtwobratsupstairs，andwash'emdirectly。——Myheartalive！Mr。Bumble，howgladIamtoseeyou，sure-ly！'
　　Now，Mr。Bumblewasafatman，andacholeric；so，insteadofrespondingtothisopen-heartedsalutationinakindredspirit，hegavethelittlewicketatremendousshake，andthenbestoweduponitakickwhichcouldhaveemanatedfromnolegbutabeadle's。
　　'Lor，onlythink，'saidMrs。Mann，runningout，——forthethreeboyshadbeenremovedbythistime，——'onlythinkofthat！ThatI
　　shouldhaveforgottenthatthegatewasboltedontheinside，onaccountofthemdearchildren！Walkinsir；walkin，pray，Mr。
　　Bumble，do，sir。'
　　Althoughthisinvitationwasaccompaniedwithacurtseythatmighthavesoftenedtheheartofachurch-warden，itbynomeansmollifiedthebeadle。
　　'Doyouthinkthisrespectfulorproperconduct，Mrs。Mann，'
　　inquiredMr。Bumble，graspinghiscane，'tokeeptheparishofficersawaitingatyourgarden-gate，whentheycomehereuponporochialbusinesswiththeporochialorphans?Areyouaweer，Mrs。Mann，thatyouare，asImaysay，aporochialdelegate，andastipendiary?'
　　'I'msureMr。Bumble，thatIwasonlyatellingoneortwoofthedearchildrenasissofondofyou，thatitwasyouacoming，'
　　repliedMrs。Mannwithgreathumility。
　　Mr。Bumblehadagreatideaofhisoratoricalpowersandhisimportance。Hehaddisplayedtheone，andvindicatedtheother。
　　Herelaxed。
　　'Well，well，Mrs。Mann，'herepliedinacalmertone；'itmaybeasyousay；itmaybe。Leadthewayin，Mrs。Mann，forIcomeonbusiness，andhavesomethingtosay。'
　　Mrs。Mannusheredthebeadleintoasmallparlourwithabrickfloor；placedaseatforhim；andofficiouslydepositedhiscockedhatandcanonthetablebeforehim。Mr。Bumblewipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhiswalkhadengendered，glancedcomplacentlyatthecockedhat，andsmiled。Yes，hesmiled。Beadlesarebutmen:andMr。Bumblesmiled。
　　'Nowdon'tyoubeoffendedatwhatI'magoingtosay，'observedMrs。Mann，withcaptivatingsweetness。'You'vehadalongwalk，youknow，orIwouldn'tmentionit。Now，willyoutakealittledropofsomethink，Mr。Bumble?'
　　'Notadrop。Noradrop，'saidMr。Bumble，wavinghisrighthandinadignified，butplacidmanner。
　　'Ithinkyouwill，'saidMrs。Mann，whohadnoticedthetoneoftherefusal，andthegesturethathadaccompaniedit。'Justaleetledrop，withalittlecoldwater，andalumpofsugar。'
　　Mr。Bumblecoughed。
　　'Now，justaleetledrop，'saidMrs。Mannpersuasively。
　　'Whatisit?'inquiredthebeadle。
　　'Why，it'swhatI'mobligedtokeepalittleofinthehouse，toputintotheblessedinfants'Daffy，whentheyain'twell，Mr。
　　Bumble，'repliedMrs。Mannassheopenedacornercupboard，andtookdownabottleandglass。'It'sgin。I'llnotdeceiveyou，Mr。B。It'sgin。'
　　'DoyougivethechildrenDaffy，Mrs。Mann?'inquiredBumble，followingwiththiseyestheinterestingprocessofmixing。
　　'Ah，bless'em，thatIdo，dearasitis，'repliedthenurse。'I
　　couldn'tsee'emsufferbeforemyveryeyes，youknowsir。'
　　'No'；saidMr。Bumbleapprovingly；'no，youcouldnot。Youareahumanewoman，Mrs。Mann。'Hereshesetdowntheglass。'I
　　shalltakeaearlyopportunityofmentioningittotheboard，Mrs。Mann。'Hedrewittowardshim。'Youfeelasamother，Mrs。Mann。'Hestirredthegin-and-water。'I——Idrinkyourhealthwithcheerfulness，Mrs。Mann'；andheswallowedhalfofit。
　　'Andnowaboutbusiness，'saidthebeadle，takingoutaleathernpocket-book。'Thechildthatwashalf-baptizedOliverTwist，isnineyearoldto-day。；
　　'Blesshim！'interposedMrs。Mann，inflamingherlefteyewiththecornerofherapron。
　　'Andnotwithstandingaofferedrewardoftenpound，whichwasafterwardsincreasedtotwentypound。Notwithstandingthemostsuperlative，and，Imaysay，supernat'ralexertionsonthepartofthisparish，'saidBumble，'wehaveneverbeenabletodiscoverwhoishisfather，orwhatwashismother'ssettlement，name，orcon——dition。'
　　MrsMannraisedherhandsinastonishment；butadded，afteramoment'sreflection，'Howcomeshetohaveanynameatall，then?'
　　Thebeadledrewhimselfupwithgreatpride，andsaid，'I
　　inwentedit。'
　　'You，Mr。Bumble！'
　　'I，Mrs。Mann。Wenameourfondlingsinalphabeticalorder。ThelastwasaS，——Swubble，Inamedhim。ThiswasaT，——Twist，I
　　namedHIM。ThenextonecomeswillbeUnwin，andthenextVilkins。Ihavegotnamesreadymadetotheendofthealphabet，andallthewaythroughitagain，whenwecometoZ。'
　　'Why，you'requitealiterarycharacter，sir！'saidMrs。Mann。
　　'Well，well，'saidthebeadle，evidentlygratifiedwiththecompliment；'perhapsImaybe。PerhapsImaybe，Mrs。Mann。'Hefinishedthegin-and-water，andadded，'Oliverbeingnowtoooldtoremainhere，theboardhavedeterminedtohavehimbackintothehouse。Ihavecomeoutmyselftotakehimthere。Soletmeseehimatonce。'
　　'I'llfetchhimdirectly，'saidMrs。Mann，leavingtheroomforthatpurpose。Oliver，havinghadbythistimeasmuchoftheoutercoatofdirtwhichencrustedhisfaceandhands，removed，ascouldbescrubbedoffinonewashing，wasledintotheroombyhisbenevolentprotectress。
　　'Makeabowtothegentleman，Oliver，'saidMrs。Mann。
　　Olivermadeabow，whichwasdividedbetweenthebeadleonthechair，andthecockedhatonthetable。
　　'Willyougoalongwithme，Oliver?'saidMr。Bumble，inamajesticvoice。
　　Oliverwasabouttosaythathewouldgoalongwithanybodywithgreatreadiness，when，glancingupward，hecaughtsightofMrs。
　　Mann，whohadgotbehindthebeadle'schair，andwasshakingherfistathimwithafuriouscountenance。Hetookthehintatonce，forthefisthadbeentoooftenimpresseduponhisbodynottobedeeplyimpresseduponhisrecollection。
　　'Willshegowithme?'inquiredpoorOliver。
　　'No，shecan't，'repliedMr。Bumble。'Butshe'llcomeandseeyousometimes。'
　　Thiswasnoverygreatconsolationtothechild。Youngashewas，however，hehadsenseenoughtomakeafeintoffeelinggreatregretatgoingaway。Itwasnoverydifficultmatterfortheboytocalltearsintohiseyes。Hungerandrecentill-usagearegreatassistantsifyouwanttocry；andOlivercriedverynaturallyindeed。Mrs。Manngavehimathousandembraces，andwhatOliverwantedagreatdealmore，apieceofbreadandbutter，lessheshouldseemtoohungrywhenhegottotheworkhouse。Withthesliceofbreadinhishand，andthelittlebrown-clothparishcaponhishead，OliverwasthenledawaybyMr。Bumblefromthewretchedhomewhereonekindwordorlookhadneverlightedthegloomofhisinfantyears。Andyetheburstintoanagonyofchildishgrief，asthecottage-gateclosedafterhim。Wretchedaswerethelittlecompanionsinmiseryhewasleavingbehind，theyweretheonlyfriendshehadeverknown；andasenseofhislonelinessinthegreatwideworld，sankintothechild'sheartforthefirsttime。
　　Mr。Bumblewalkedonwithlongstrides；littleOliver，firmlygraspinghisgold-lacedcuff，trottedbesidehim，inquiringattheendofeveryquarterofamilewhethertheywere'nearlythere。'TotheseinterrogationsMr。Bumblereturnedverybriefandsnappishreplies；forthetemporaryblandnesswhichgin-and-waterawakensinsomebosomshadbythistimeevaporated；
　　andhewasonceagainabeadle。
　　Oliverhadnotbeenwithinthewallsoftheworkhouseaquarterofanhour，andhadscarcelycompletedthedemolitionofasecondsliceofbread，whenMr。Bumble，whohadhandedhimovertothecareofanoldwoman，returned；and，tellinghimitwasaboardnight，informedhimthattheboardhadsaidhewastoappearbeforeitforthwith。
　　Nothavingaveryclearlydefinednotionofwhataliveboardwas，Oliverwasratherastoundedbythisintelligence，andwasnotquitecertainwhetherheoughttolaughorcry。Hehadnotimetothinkaboutthematter，however；forMr。Bumblegavehimataponthehead，withhiscane，towakehimup:andanotheronthebacktomakehimlively:andbiddinghimtofollow，conductedhimintoalargewhite-washedroom，whereeightortenfatgentlemenweresittingroundatable。Atthetopofthetable，seatedinanarm-chairratherhigherthantherest，wasaparticularlyfatgentlemanwithaveryround，redface。
　　'Bowtotheboard，'saidBumble。Oliverbrushedawaytwoorthreetearsthatwerelingeringinhiseyes；andseeingnoboardbutthetable，fortunatelybowedtothat。
　　'What'syourname，boy?'saidthegentlemaninthehighchair。
　　Oliverwasfrightenedatthesightofsomanygentlemen，whichmadehimtremble:andthebeadlegavehimanothertapbehind，whichmadehimcry。Thesetwocausesmadehimanswerinaverylowandhesitatingvoice；whereuponagentlemaninawhitewaistcoatsaidhewasafool。Whichwasacapitalwayofraisinghisspirits，andputtinghimquiteathisease。
　　'Boy，'saidthegentlemaninthehighchair，'listentome。Youknowyou'reanorphan，Isuppose?'
　　'What'sthat，sir?'inquiredpoorOliver。
　　'TheboyISafool——Ithoughthewas，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
　　'Hush！'saidthegentlemanwhohadspokenfirst。'Youknowyou'vegotnofatherormother，andthatyouwerebroughtupbytheparish，don'tyou?'
　　'Yes，sir，'repliedOliver，weepingbitterly。
　　'Whatareyoucryingfor?'inquiredthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。Andtobesureitwasveryextraordinary。WhatCOULD
　　theboybecryingfor?
　　'Ihopeyousayyourprayerseverynight，'saidanothergentlemaninagruffvoice；'andprayforthepeoplewhofeedyou，andtakecareofyou——likeaChristian。'
　　'Yes，sir，'stammeredtheboy。Thegentlemanwhospokelastwasunconsciouslyright。ItwouldhavebeenverylikeaChristian，andamarvellouslygoodChristiantoo，ifOliverhadprayedforthepeoplewhofedandtookcareofHIM。Buthehadn't，becausenobodyhadtaughthim。
　　'Well！Youhavecomeheretobeeducated，andtaughtausefultrade，'saidthered-facedgentlemaninthehighchair。
　　'Soyou'llbegintopickoakumto-morrowmorningatsixo'clock，'
　　addedthesurlyoneinthewhitewaistcoat。
　　Forthecombinationofboththeseblessingsintheonesimpleprocessofpickingoakum，Oliverbowedlowbythedirectionofthebeadle，andwasthenhurriedawaytoalargeward；where，onarough，hardbed，hesobbedhimselftosleep。WhatanovelillustrationofthetenderlawsofEngland！Theyletthepaupersgotosleep！
　　PoorOliver！Helittlethought，ashelaysleepinginhappyunconsciousnessofallaroundhim，thattheboardhadthatverydayarrivedatadecisionwhichwouldexercisethemostmaterialinfluenceoverallhisfuturefortunes。Buttheyhad。Andthiswasit:
　　Themembersofthisboardwereverysage，deep，philosophicalmen；andwhentheycametoturntheirattentiontotheworkhouse，theyfoundoutatonce，whatordinaryfolkswouldnverhavediscovered——thepoorpeoplelikedit！Itwasaregularplaceofpublicentertainmentforthepoorerclasses；atavernwheretherewasnothingtopay；apublicbreakfast，dinner，tea，andsupperalltheyearround；abrickandmortarelysium，whereitwasallplayandnowork。'Oho！'saidtheboard，lookingveryknowing；
　　'wearethefellowstosetthistorights；we'llstopitall，innotime。'So，theyestablishedtherule，thatallpoorpeopleshouldhavethealternativefortheywouldcompelnobody，notthey，ofbeingstarvedbyagradualprocessinthehouse，orbyaquickoneoutofit。Withthisview，theycontractedwiththewater-workstolayonanunlimitedsupplyofwater；andwithacorn-factortosupplyperiodicallysmallquantitiesofoatmeal；
　　andissuedthreemealsofthingrueladay，withanoniontwiceaweek，andhalfarollofSundays。Theymadeagreatmanyotherwiseandhumaneregulations，havingreferencetotheladies，whichitisnotnecessarytorepeat；kindlyundertooktodivorcepoormarriedpeople，inconsequenceofthegreatexpenseofasuitinDoctors'Commons；and，insteadofcompellingamantosupporthisfamily，astheyhadtheretoforedone，tookhisfamilyawayfromhim，andmadehimabachelor！Thereisnosayinghowmanyapplicantsforrelief，undertheselasttwoheads，mighthavestartedupinallclassesofsociety，ifithadnotbeencoupledwiththeworkhouse；buttheboardwerelong-headedmen，andhadprovidedforthisdifficulty。Thereliefwasinseparablefromtheworkhouseandthegruel；andthatfrightenedpeople。
　　ForthefirstsixmonthsafterOliverTwistwasremoved，thesystemwasinfulloperation。Itwasratherexpensiveatfirst，inconsequenceoftheincreaseintheundertaker'sbill，andthenecessityoftakingintheclothesofallthepaupers，whichflutteredlooselyontheirwasted，shrunkenforms，afteraweekortwo'sgruel。Butthenumberofworkhouseinmatesgotthinaswellasthepaupers；andtheboardwereinecstasies。
　　Theroominwhichtheboyswerefed，wasalargestonehall，withacopperatoneend:outofwhichthemaster，dressedinanapronforthepurpose，andassistedbyoneortwowomen，ladledthegruelatmealtimes。Ofthisfestivecompositioneachboyhadoneporringer，andnomore——exceptonoccasionsofgreatpublicrejoicing，whenhehadtwoouncesandaquarterofbreadbesides。
　　Thebowlsneverwantedwashing。Theboyspolishedthemwiththeirspoonstilltheyshoneagain；andwhentheyhadperformedthisoperationwhichnevertookverylong，thespoonsbeingnearlyaslargeasthebowls，theywouldsitstaringatthecopper，withsucheagereyes，asiftheycouldhavedevouredtheverybricksofwhichitwascomposed；employingthemselves，meanwhile，insuckingtheirfingersmostassiduously，withtheviewofcatchingupanystraysplashesofgruelthatmighthavebeencastthereon。Boyshavegenerallyexcellentappetites。
　　OliverTwistandhiscompanionssufferedthetorturesofslowstarvationforthreemonths:atlasttheygotsovoraciousandwildwithhunger，thatoneboy，whowastallforhisage，andhadn'tbeenusedtothatsortofthingforhisfatherhadkeptasmallcook-shop，hinteddarklytohiscompanions，thatunlesshehadanotherbasinofgruelperdiem，hewasafraidhemightsomenighthappentoeattheboywhosleptnexthim，whohappenedtobeaweaklyyouthoftenderage。Hehadawild，hungryeye；andtheyimplicitlybelievedhim。Acouncilwasheld；lotswerecastwhoshouldwalkuptothemasteraftersupperthatevening，andaskformore；anditfelltoOliverTwist。
　　Theeveningarrived；theboystooktheirplaces。Themaster，inhiscook'suniform，stationedhimselfatthecopper；hispauperassistantsrangedthemselvesbehindhim；thegruelwasservedout；andalonggracewassaidovertheshortcommons。Thegrueldisappeared；theboyswhisperedeachother，andwinkedatOliver；
　　whilehisnextneighboursnudgedhim。Childashewas，hewasdesperatewithhunger，andrecklesswithmisery。Herosefromthetable；andadvancingtothemaster，basinandspooninhand，said:somewhatalarmedathisowntemerity:
　　'Please，sir，Iwantsomemore。'
　　Themasterwasafat，healthyman；butheturnedverypale。Hegazedinstupifiedastonishmentonthesmallrebelforsomeseconds，andthenclungforsupporttothecopper。Theassistantswereparalysedwithwonder；theboyswithfear。
　　'What！'saidthemasteratlength，inafaintvoice。
　　'Please，sir，'repliedOliver，'Iwantsomemore。'
　　ThemasteraimedablowatOliver'sheadwiththeladle；pinionedhiminhisarm；andshriekedaloudforthebeadle。
　　Theboardweresittinginsolemnconclave，whenMr。Bumblerushedintotheroomingreatexcitement，andaddressingthegentlemaninthehighchair，said，'Mr。Limbkins，Ibegyourpardon，sir！OliverTwisthasaskedformore！'
　　Therewasageneralstart。Horrorwasdepictedoneverycountenance。
　　'ForMORE！'saidMr。Limbkins。'Composeyourself，Bumble，andanswermedistinctly。DoIunderstandthatheaskedformore，afterhehadeatenthesupperallottedbythedietary?'
　　'Hedid，sir，'repliedBumble。
　　'Thatboywillbehung，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。'Iknowthatboywillbehung。'
　　Nobodycontrovertedthepropheticgentleman'sopinion。Ananimateddiscussiontookplace。Oliverwasorderedintoinstantconfinement；andabillwasnextmorningpastedontheoutsideofthegate，offeringarewardoffivepoundstoanybodywhowouldtakeOliverTwistoffthehandsoftheparish。Inotherwords，fivepoundsandOliverTwistwereofferedtoanymanorwomanwhowantedanapprenticetoanytrade，business，orcalling。
　　'Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，asheknockedatthegateandreadthebillnextmorning:'Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife，thanIamthatthatboywillcometobehung。'
　　AsIpurposetoshowinthesequelwhetherthewhitewaistcoatedgentlemanwasrightornot，Ishouldperhapsmartheinterestofthisnarrativesupposingittopossessanyatall，ifI
　　venturedtohintjustyet，whetherthelifeofOliverTwisthadthisviolentterminationorno。
　　CHAPTERIII
　　RELATESHOWOLIVERTWISTWASVERYNEARGETTINGAPLACEWHICH
　　WOULDNOTHAVEBEENASINECURE
　　Foraweekafterthecommissionoftheimpiousandprofaneoffenceofaskingformore，Oliverremainedacloseprisonerinthedarkandsolitaryroomtowhichhehadbeenconsignedbythewisdomandmercyoftheboard。Itappears，atfirstsightnotunreasonabletosuppose，that，ifhehadentertainedabecomingfeelingofrespectforthepredictionofthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，hewouldhaveestablishedthatsageindividual'spropheticcharacter，onceandforever，bytyingoneendofhispocket-handkerchieftoahookinthewall，andattachinghimselftotheother。Totheperformanceofthisfeat，however，therewasoneobstacle:namely，thatpocket-handkerchiefsbeingdecidedarticlesofluxury，hadbeen，forallfuturetimesandages，removedfromthenosesofpaupersbytheexpressorderoftheboard，incouncilassembled:solemnlygivenandpronouncedundertheirhandsandseals。TherewasastillgreaterobstacleinOliver'syouthandchildishness。Heonlycriedbitterlyallday；and，whenthelong，dismalnightcameon，spreadhislittlehandsbeforehiseyestoshutoutthedarkness，andcrouchinginthecorner，triedtosleep:everandanonwakingwithastartandtremble，anddrawinghimselfcloserandclosertothewall，asiftofeelevenitscoldhardsurfacewereaprotectioninthegloomandlonelinesswhichsurroundedhim。
　　Letitnotbesupposedbytheenemiesof'thesystem，'that，duringtheperiodofhissolitaryincarceration，Oliverwasdeniedthebenefitofexercise，thepleasureofsociety，ortheadvantagesofreligiousconsolation。Asforexercise，itwasnicecoldweather，andhewasallowedtoperformhisablutionseverymorningunderthepump，inastoneyard，inthepresenceofMr。Bumble，whopreventedhiscatchingcold，andcausedatinglingsensationtopervadehisframe，byrepeatedapplicationsofthecane。Asforsociety，hewascarriedeveryotherdayintothehallwheretheboysdined，andtheresociablyfloggedasapublicwarningandexample。Andsoforfrombeingdeniedtheadvantagesofreligiousconsolation，hewaskickedintothesameapartmenteveryeveningatprayer-time，andtherepermittedtolistento，andconsolehismindwith，ageneralsupplicationoftheboys，containingaspecialclause，thereininsertedbyauthorityoftheboard，inwhichtheyentreatedtobemadegood，virtuous，contented，andobedient，andtobeguardedfromthesinsandvicesofOliverTwist:whomthesupplicationdistinctlysetforthtobeundertheexclusivepatronageandprotectionofthepowersofwickedness，andanarticledirectfromthemanufactoryoftheveryDevilhimself。
　　Itchancedonemorning，whileOliver'saffairswereinthisauspiciousandconfortablestate，thatMr。Gamfield，chimney-sweep，wenthiswaydowntheHighStreet，deeplycogitatinginhismindhiswaysandmeansofpayingcertainarrearsofrent，forwhichhislandlordhadbecomeratherpressing。Mr。Gamfield'smostsanguineestimateofhisfinancescouldnotraisethemwithinfullfivepoundsofthedesiredamount；and，inaspeciesofarthimeticaldesperation，hewasalternatelycudgellinghisbrainsandhisdonkey，whenpassingtheworkhouse，hiseyesencounteredthebillonthegate。
　　'Wo——o！'saidMr。Gamfieldtothedonkey。
　　Thedonkeywasinastateofprofoundabstraction:wondering，probably，whetherhewasdestinedtoberegaledwithacabbage-stalkortwowhenhehaddisposedofthetwosacksofsootwithwhichthelittlecartwasladen；so，withoutnoticingthewordofcommand，hejoggedonward。
　　Mr。Gamfieldgrowledafierceimprecationonthedonkeygenerally，butmoreparticularlyonhiseyes；and，runningafterhim，bestowedablowonhishead，whichwouldinevitablyhavebeateninanyskullbutadonkey's。Then，catchingholdofthebridle，hegavehisjawasharpwrench，bywayofgentlereminderthathewasnothisownmaster；andbythesemeansturnedhimround。Hethengavehimanotherblowonthehead，justtostunhimtillhecamebackagain。Havingcompletedthesearrangements，hewalkeduptothegate，toreadthebill。
　　Thegentlemanwiththewhitewaistcoatwasstandingatthegatewithhishandsbehindhim，afterhavingdeliveredhimselfofsomeprofoundsentimentsintheboard-room。HavingwitnessedthelittledisputebetweenMr。Gamfieldandthedonkey，hesmiledjoyouslywhenthatpersoncameuptoreadthebill，forhesawatoncethatMr。GamfieldwasexactlythesortofmasterOliverTwistwanted。Mr。Gamfieldsmiled，too，asheperusedthedocument；forfivepoundswasjustthesumhehadbeenwishingfor；and，astotheboywithwhichitwasencumbered，Mr。
　　Gamfield，knowingwhatthedietaryoftheworkhousewas，wellknewhewouldbeanicesmallpattern，justtheverythingforregisterstoves。So，hespeltthebillthroughagain，frombeginningtoend；andthen，touchinghisfurcapintokenofhumility，accostedthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
　　'Thishereboy，sir，wottheparishwantsto'prentis，'saidMr。
　　Gamfield。
　　'Ay，myman，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，withacondescendingsmile。'Whatofhim?'
　　'Iftheparishvouldlikehimtolearnarightpleasanttrade，inagood'spectablechimbley-sweepin'bisness，'saidMr。Gamfield，'Iwantsa'prentis，andIamreadytotakehim。'
　　'Walkin，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。Mr。
　　Gamfieldhavinglingeredbehind，togivethedonkeyanotherblowonthehead，andanotherwrenchofthejaw，asacautionnottorunawayinhisabsence，followedthegentlemanwiththewhitewaistcoatintotheroomwhereOliverhadfirstseenhim。
　　'It'sanastytrade，'saidMr。Limbkins，whenGamfieldhadagainstatedhiswish。
　　'Youngboyshavebeensmotheredinchimneysbeforenow，'saidanothergentleman。
　　'That'sacausetheydampedthestrawaforetheylititinthechimbleytomake'emcomedownagain，'saidGamfield；'that'sallsmoke，andnoblaze；vereassmokeain'to'nouseatallinmakingaboycomedown，foritonlysindshimtosleep，andthat'swothelikes。Boysisweryobstinit，andwerylazy，Gen'l'men，andthere'snothinklikeagoodhotblazetomake'emcomedownvitharun。It'shumanetoo，gen'l'men，acause，evenifthey'vestuckinthechimbley，roastingtheirfeetmakes'emstruggletohextricatetheirselves。'
　　Thegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoatappearedverymuchamusedbythisexplanation；buthismirthwasspeedilycheckedbyalookfromMr。Limbkins。Theboardthenproceddedtoconverseamongthemselvesforafewminutes，butinsolowatone，thatthewords'savingofexpenditure，''lookedwellintheaccounts，'
　　'haveaprintedreportpublished，'werealoneaudible。Theseonlychancedtobeheard，indeed，oraccountoftheirbeingveryfrequentlyrepeatedwithgreatemphasis。
　　Atlengththewhisperingceased；andthemembersoftheboard，havingresumedtheirseatsandtheirsolemnity，Mr。Limbkinssaid:
　　'Wehaveconsideredyourproposition，andwedon'tapproveofit。'
　　'Notatall，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
　　'Decidedlynot，'addedtheothermembers。
　　AsMr。Gamfielddidhappentolabourundertheslightimputationofhavingbruisedthreeorfourboystodeathalready，itoccurredtohimthattheboardhad，perhaps，insomeunaccountablefreak，takenitintotheirheadsthatthisextraneouscircumstanceoughttoinfluencetheirproceedings。Itwasveryunliketheirgeneralmodeofdoingbusiness，iftheyhad；butstill，ashehadnoparticularwishtorevivetherumour，hetwistedhiscapinhishands，andwalkedslowlyfromthetable。
　　'Soyouwon'tletmehavehim，gen'l'men?'saidMr。Gamfield，pausingnearthedoor。
　　'No，'repliedMr。Limbkins；'atleast，asit'sanastybusiness，wethinkyououghttotakesomethinglessthanthepremiumweoffered。'
　　Mr。Gamfield'scountenancebrightened，as，withaquickstep，hereturnedtothetable，andsaid，'What'llyougive，gen'l'men?Come！Don'tbetoohardonapoorman。What'llyougive?'
　　'Ishouldsay，threepoundtenwasplenty，'saidMr。Limbkins。
　　'Tenshillingstoomuch，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
　　'Come！'saidGamfield；'sayfourpound，gen'l'men。Sayfourpound，andyou'vegotridofhimforgoodandall。There！'
　　'Threepoundten，'repeatedMr。Limbkins，firmly。
　　'Come！I'llsplitthediff'erence，gen'l'men，urgedGamfield。
　　'Threepoundfifteen。'
　　'Notafarthingmore，'wasthefirmreplyofMr。Limbkins。
　　'You'redesperateharduponme，gen'l'men，saidGamfield，wavering。
　　'Pooh！pooh！nonsense！'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。'He'dbecheapwithnothingatall，asapremium。
　　Takehim，yousillyfellow！He'sjusttheboyforyou。Hewantsthestick，nowandthen:it'lldohimgood；andhisboardneedn'tcomeveryexpensive，forhehasn'tbeenoverfedsincehewasborn。Ha！ha！ha！'
　　Mr。Gamfieldgaveanarchlookatthefacesroundthetable，and，observingasmileonallofthem，graduallybrokeintoasmilehimself。Thebargainwasmade。Mr。Bumble，wasatonceinstructedthatOliverTwistandhisindenturesweretobeconveyedbeforethemagistrate，forsignatureandapproval，thatveryafternoon。
　　Inpursuanceofthisdetermination，littleOliver，tohisexcessiveastonishment，wasreleasedfrombondage，andorderedtoputhimselfintoacleanshirt。Hehadhardlyachievedthisveryunusualgymnasticperformance，whenMr。Bumblebroughthim，withhisownhands，abasinofgruel，andtheholidayallowanceoftwoouncesandaquarterofbread。Atthistremendoussight，Oliverbegantocryverypiteously:thinking，notunaturally，thattheboardmusthavedeterminedtokillhimforsomeusefulpurpose，ortheyneverwouldhavebeguntofattenhimupinthatway。
　　'Don'tmakeyoureyesred，Oliver，buteatyourfoodandbethankful，'saidMr。Bumble，inatoneofimpressivepomposity。
　　'You'reagoingtobemadea'prenticeof，Oliver。'
　　'Aprentice，sir！'saidthechild，trembling。
　　'Yes，Oliver，'saidMr。Bumble。'Thekindandblessedgentlemanwhichissoamnyparentstoyou，Oliver，whenyouhavenoneofyourown:areagoingto'prenticeyou:andtosetyouupinlife，andmakeamanofyou:althoughtheexpensetotheparishisthreepoundten！——threepoundten，Oliver！——seventyshillins——onehundredandfortysixpences！——andallforanaughtyorphanwhichnobodaycan'tlove。'
　　AsMr。Bumblepausedtotakebreath，afterdeliveringthisaddressinanawfulvoice，thetearsrolleddownthepoorchild'sface，andhesobbedbitterly。
　　'Come，'saidMr。Bumble，somewhatlesspompously，foritwasgratifyingtohisfeelingstoobservetheeffecthiseloquencehadproduced；'Come，Oliver！Wipeyoureyeswiththecuffsofyourjacket，anddon'tcryintoyourgruel；that'saveryfoolishaction，Oliver。'Itcertainlywas，fortherewasquiteenoughwaterinitalready。
　　Ontheirwaytothemagistrate，Mr。BumbleinstructedOliverthatallhewouldhavetodo，wouldbetolookveryhappy，andsay，whenthegentlemanaskedhimifhewantedtobeapprenticed，thatheshouldlikeitverymuchindeed；bothofwhichinjunctionsOliverpromisedtoobey:theratherasMr。Bumblethrewinagentlehint，thatifhefailedineitherparticular，therewasnotellingwhatwouldbedonetohim。Whentheyarrivedattheoffice，hewasshutupinalittleroombyhimself，andadmonishedbyMr。Bumbletostaythere，untilhecamebacktofetchhim。
　　Theretheboyremained，withapalpitatingheart，forhalfanhour。AttheexpirationofwhichtimeMr。Bumblethrustinhishead，unadornedwiththecockedhat，andsaidaloud:
　　'Now，Oliver，mydear，cometothegentleman。'AsMr。Bumblesaidthis，heputonagrimandthreateninglook，andadded，inalowvoice，'MindwhatItoldyou，youyoungrascal！'
　　OliverstaredinnocentlyinMr。Bumble'sfaceatthissomewhatcontradictorystyleofaddress；butthatgentlemanpreventedhisofferinganyremarkthereupon，byleadinghimatonceintoanadjoiningroom:thedoorofwhichwasopen。Itwasalargeroom，withagreatwindow。Behindadesk，sattwooldgentlemanwithpowderedheads:oneofwhomwasreadingthenewspaper；whiletheotherwasperusing，withtheaidofapairoftortoise-shellspectacles，asmallpieceofparchmentwhichlaybeforehim。Mr。
　　Limbkinswasstandinginfrontofthedeskononeside；andMr。
　　Gamfield，withapartiallywashedface，ontheother；whiletwoorthreebluff-lookingmen，intop-boots，wereloungingabout。
　　Theoldgentlemanwiththespectaclesgraduallydozedoff，overthelittlebitofparchment；andtherewasashortpause，afterOliverhadbeenstationedbyMr。Bumbleinfrontofthedesk。
　　'Thisistheboy，yourworship，'saidMr。Bumble。
　　Theoldgentlemanwhowasreadingthenewspaperraisedhisheadforamoment，andpulledtheotheroldgentlemanbythesleeve；
　　whereupon，thelast-mentionedoldgentlemanwokeup。
　　'Oh，isthistheboy?'saidtheoldgentleman。
　　'Thisishim，sir，'repliedMr。Bumble。'Bowtothemagistrate，mydear。'
　　Oliverrousedhimself，andmadehisbestobeisance。Hehadbeenwondering，withhiseyesfixedonthemagistrates'powder，whetherallboardswerebornwiththatwhitestuffontheirheads，andwereboardsfromthenceforthonthataccount。
　　'Well，'saidtheoldgentleman，'Isupposehe'sfondofchimney-sweeping?'
　　'Hedoatsonit，yourworship，'repliedBumble；givingOliveraslypinch，tointimatethathehadbetternotsayhedidn't。
　　'AndheWILLbeasweep，willhe?'inquiredtheoldgentleman。
　　'Ifwewastobindhimtoanyothertradeto-morrow，he'drunawaysimultaneous，yourworship，'repliedBumble。
　　'Andthismanthat'stobehismaster——you，sir——you'lltreathimwell，andfeedhim，anddoallthatsortofthing，willyou?'
　　saidtheoldgentleman。
　　'WhenIsaysIwill，ImeansIwill，'repliedMr。Gamfielddoggedly。
　　'You'rearoughspeaker，myfriend，butyoulookanhonest，open-heartedman，'saidtheoldgentleman:turninghisspectaclesinthedirectionofthecandidateforOliver'spremium，whosevillainouscountenancewasaregularstampedreceiptforcruelty。Butthemagistratewashalfblindandhalfchildish，sohecouldn'treasonablybeexpectedtodiscernwhatotherpeopledid。
　　'IhopeIam，sir，'saidMr。Gamfield，withanuglyleer。
　　'Ihavenodoubtyouare，myfriend，'repliedtheoldgentleman:
　　fixinghisspectaclesmorefirmlyonhisnose，andlookingabouthimfortheinkstand。
　　ItwasthecriticalmomentofOliver'sfate。Iftheinkstandhadbeenwheretheoldgentlemanthoughitwas，hewouldhavedippedhispenintoit，andsignedtheindentures，andOliverwouldhavebeenstraightwayhurriedoff。But，asitchancedtobeimmediatelyunderhisnose，itfollowed，asamatterofcourse，thathelookedalloverhisdeskforit，withoutfindingit；andhappeninginthecourseofhissearchtolookstraightbeforehim，hisgazeencounteredthepaleandterrifiedfaceofOliverTwist:who，despitealltheadmonitorylooksandpinchesofBumble，wasregardingtherepulsivecountenanceofhisfuturemaster，withamingledexpressionofhorrorandfear，toopalpabletobemistaken，evenbyahalf-blindmagistrate。
　　Theoldgentlemanstopped，laiddownhispen，andlookedfromOlivertoMr。Limbkins；whoattemptedtotakesnuffwithacheerfulandunconcernedaspect。
　　'Myboy！'saidtheoldgentleman，'youlookpaleandalarmed。
　　Whatisthematter?'
　　'Standalittleawayfromhim，Beadle，'saidtheothermagistrate:layingasidethepaper，andleaningforwardwithanexpressionofinterest。'Now，boy，telluswhat'sthematter:
　　don'tbeafraid。'
　　Oliverfellonhisknees，andclaspinghishandstogether，prayedthattheywouldorderhimbacktothedarkroom——thattheywouldstarvehim——beathim——killhimiftheypleased——ratherthansendhimawaywiththatdreadfulman。
　　'Well！'saidMr。Bumble，raisinghishandsandeyeswithmostimpressivesolemnite。'Well！ofalltheartfulanddesigningorphansthateverIsee，Oliver，youareoneofthemostbare-facedest。'
　　'Holdyourtongue，Beadle，'saidthesecondoldgentleman，whenMr。Bumblehadgivenventtothiscompoundadjective。
　　'Ibegyourworship'spardon，'saidMr。Bumble，incredulousofhavingheardaright。'Didyourworshipspeaktome?'
　　'Yes。Holdyourtongue。'
　　Mr。Bumblewasstupefiedwithastonishment。Abeadleorderedtoholdhistongue！Amoralrevolution！
　　Theoldgentlemaninthetortoise-shellspectacleslookedathiscompanion，henoddedsignificantly。
　　'Werefusetosanctiontheseindentures，'saidtheoldgentleman:
　　tossingasidethepieceofparchmentashespoke。
　　'Ihope，'stammeredMr。Limbkins:'Ihopethemagistrateswillnotformtheopinionthattheauthoritieshavebeenguiltyofanyimproperconduct，ontheunsupportedtestimonyofachild。'
　　'Themagistratesarenotcalledupontopronounceanyopiniononthematter，'saidthesecondoldgentlemansharply。'Taketheboybacktotheworkhouse，andtreathimkindly。Heseemstowantit。'
　　Thatsameevening，thegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoatmostpositivelyanddecidedlyaffirmed，notonlythatOliverwouldbehung，butthathewouldbedrawnandquarteredintothebargain。
　　Mr。Bumbleshookhisheadwithgloomymystery，andsaidhewishedhemightcometogood；whereuntoMr。Gamfieldreplied，thathewishedhemightcometohim；which，althoughheagreedwiththebeadleinmostmatters，wouldseemtobeawishofatotalyoppositedescription。
　　Thenextmorning，thepublicwereonceinformedthatOliverTwistwasagainToLet，andthatfivepoundswouldbepaidtoanybodywhowouldtakepossessionofhim。
　　CHAPTERIV
　　OLIVER，BEINGOFFEREDANOTHERPLACE，MAKESHISFIRSTENTRYINTO
　　PUBLICLIFE
　　Ingreatfamilies，whenanadvantageousplacecannotbeobtained，eitherinpossession，reversion，remainder，orexpectancy，fortheyoungmanwhoisgrowingup，itisaverygeneralcustomtosendhimtosea。Theboard，inimitationofsowiseandsalutaryanexample，tookcounseltogetherontheexpediencyofshippingoffOliverTwist，insomesmalltradingvesselboundtoagoodunhealthyport。Thissuggesteditselfastheverybestthingthatcouldpossiblybedonewithhim:theprobabilitybeing，thattheskipperwouldfloghimtodeath，inaplayfulmood，somedayafterdinner，orwouldknockhisbrainsoutwithanironbar；
　　bothpastimesbeing，asisprettygenerallyknown，veryfavouriteandcommonrecreationsamonggentlemanofthatclass。Themorethecasepresenteditselftotheboard，inthispointofview，themoremanifoldtheadvantagesofthestepappeared；so，theycametotheconclusionthattheonlywayofprovidingforOlivereffectually，wastosendhimtoseawithoutdelay。
　　Mr。Bumblehadbeendespatchedtomakevariouspreliminaryinquiries，withtheviewoffindingoutsomecaptainorotherwhowantedacabin-boywithoutanyfriends；andwasreturningtotheworkhousetocommunicatetheresultofhismission；whenheencounteredatthegate，nolessapersonthanMr。Sowerberry，theparochialundertaker。
　　Mr。Sowerberrywasatallgaunt，large-jointedman，attiredinasuitofthreadbareblack，withdarnedcottonstockingsofthesamecolour，andshoestoanswer。Hisfeatureswerenotnaturallyintendedtowearasmilingaspect，buthewasingeneralrathergiventoprofessionaljocosity。Hisstepwaselastic，andhisfacebetokenedinwardpleasantry，asheadvancedtoMr。Bumble，andshookhimcordiallybythehand。
　　'Ihavetakenthemeasureofthetwowomenthatdiedlastnight，Mr。Bumble，'saidtheundertaker。
　　'You'llmakeyourfortune，Mr。Sowerberry，'saidthebeadle，ashethrusthisthumbandforefingerintotheproferredsnuff-boxoftheundertaker:whichwasaningeniouslittlemodelofapatentcoffin。'Isayyou'llmakeyourfortune，Mr。Sowerberry，'
　　repeatedMr。Bumble，tappingtheundertakerontheshoulder，inafriendlymanner，withhiscane。
　　'Thinkso?'saidtheundertakerinatonewhichhalfadmittedandhalfdisputedtheprobabilityoftheevent。'Thepricesallowedbytheboardareverysmall，Mr。Bumble。'
　　'Soarethecoffins，'repliedthebeadle:withpreciselyasnearanapproachtoalaughasagreatofficialoughttoindulgein。
　　Mr。Sowerberrywasmuchtickledatthis:asofcourseheoughttobe；andlaughedalongtimewithoutcessation。'Well，well，Mr。Bumble，'hesaidatlength，'there'snodenyingthat，sincethenewsystemoffeedinghascomein，thecoffinsaresomethingnarrowerandmoreshallowthantheyusedtobe；butwemusthavesomeprofit，Mr。Bumble。Well-seasonedtimberisanexpensivearticle，sir；andalltheironhandlescome，bycanal，fromBirmingham。'
　　'Well，well，'saidMr。Bumble，'everytradehasitsdrawbacks。A
　　fairprofitis，ofcourse，allowable。'
　　'Ofcourse，ofcourse，'repliedtheundertaker；'andifIdon'tgetaprofituponthisorthatparticulararticle，why，Imakeitupinthelong-run，yousee——he！he！he！'
　　'Justso，'saidMr。Bumble。
　　'ThoughImustsay，'continuedtheundertaker，resumingthecurrentofobservationswhichthebeadlehadinterrupted:'thoughImustsay，Mr。Bumble，thatIhavetocontendagainstoneverygreatdisadvantage:whichis，thatallthestoutpeoplegooffthequickest。Thepeoplewhohavebeenbetteroff，andhavepaidratesformanyyears，arethefirsttosinkwhentheycomeintothehouse；andletmetellyou，Mr。Bumble，thatthreeorfourinchesoverone'scalculationmakesagreatholeinone'sprofits:especiallywhenonehasafamilytoprovidefor，sir。'
　　AsMr。Sowerberrysaidthis，withthebecomingindignationofanill-usedman；andasMr。Bumblefeltthatitrathertendedtoconveyareflectiononthehonouroftheparish；thelattergentlemanthoughtitadvisabletochangethesubject。OliverTwistbeinguppermostinhismind，hemadehimhistheme。
　　'Bythebye，'saidMr。Bumble，'youdon'tknowanybodywhowantsaboy，doyou?Aporochial'prentis，whoisatpresentadead-weight；amillstone，asImaysay，roundtheporochialthroat?Liberalterms，Mr。Sowerberry，liberalterms?'AsMr。
　　Bumblespoke，heraisedhiscanetothebillabovehim，andgavethreedistinctrapsuponthewords'fivepounds':whichwereprintedthereoninRomancapitalsofgiganticsize。
　　'Gadso！'saidtheundertaker:takingMr。Bumblebythegilt-edgedlappelofhisofficialcoat；'that'sjusttheverythingIwantedtospeaktoyouabout。Youknow——dearme，whataveryelegantbuttonthisis，Mr。Bumble！Inevernoticeditbefore。'
　　'Yes，Ithinkitratherpretty，'saidthebeadle，glancingproudlydownwardsatthelargebrassbuttonswhichembellishedhiscoat。'Thedieisthesameastheporochialseal——theGoodSamaritanhealingthesickandbruisedman。TheboardpresentedittomeonNewyear'smorning，Mr。Sowerberry。Iputiton，I
　　remember，forthefirsttime，toattendtheinquestonthatreducedtradesman，whodiedinadoorwayatmidnight。'
　　'Irecollect，'saidtheundertaker。'Thejurybroughtitin，“Diedfromexposuretothecold，andwantofthecommonnecessariesoflife，“didn'tthey?'
　　Mr。Bumblenodded。
　　'Andtheymadeitaspecialverdict，Ithink，'saidtheundertaker，'byaddingsomewordstotheeffect，thatiftherelievingofficerhad——'
　　'Tush！Foolery！'interposedthebeadle。'Iftheboardattendedtoallthenonsensethatignorantjurymentalk，they'dhaveenoughtodo。'
　　'Verytrue，'saidtheundertaker；'theywouldindeed。'
　　'Juries，'saidMr。Bumble，graspinghiscanetightly，aswashiswontwhenworkingintoapassion:'juriesisineddicated，vulgar，grovellingwretches。'
　　'Sotheyare，'saidtheundertaker。
　　'Theyhaven'tnomorephilosophynorpoliticaleconomyabout'emthanthat，'saidthebeadle，snappinghisfingerscontemptuously。
　　'Nomoretheyhave，'acquiescedtheundertaker。
　　'Idespise'em，'saidthebeadle，growingveryredintheface。
　　'SodoI，'rejoinedtheundertaker。
　　'AndIonlywishwe'dajuryoftheindependentsort，inthehouseforaweekortwo，'saidthebeadle；'therulesandregulationsoftheboardwouldsoonbringtheirspiritdownfor'em。'
　　'Let'emaloneforthat，'repliedtheundertaker。Sosaying，hesmiled，approvingly:tocalmtherisingwrathoftheindignantparishofficer。
　　MrBumbleliftedoffhiscockedhat；tookahandkerchieffromtheinsideofthecrown；wipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhisragehadengendered；fixedthecockedhatonagain；
　　and，turningtotheundertaker，saidinacalmervoice:
　　'Well；whatabouttheboy?'
　　'Oh！'repliedtheundertaker；why，youknow，Mr。Bumble，Ipayagooddealtowardsthepoor'srates。'
　　'Hem！'saidMr。Bumble。'Well?'
　　'Well，'repliedtheundertaker，'IwasthinkingthatifIpaysomuchtowards'em，I'vearighttogetasmuchoutof'emasI
　　can，Mr。Bumble；andso——IthinkI'lltaketheboymyself。'
　　Mr。Bumblegraspedtheundertakerbythearm，andledhimintothebuilding。Mr。Sowerberrywasclosetedwiththeboardforfiveminutes；anditwasarrangedthatOlivershouldgotohimthatevening'uponliking'——aphrasewhichmeans，inthecaseofaparishapprentice，thatifthemasterfind，uponashorttrial，thathecangetenoughworkoutofaboywithoutputtingtoomuchfoodintohim，heshallhavehimforatermofyears，todowhathelikeswith。
　　WhenlittleOliverwastakenbefore'thegentlemen'thatevening；
　　andinformedthathewastogo，thatnight，asgeneralhouse-ladtoacoffin-maker's；andthatifhecomplainedofhissituation，orevercamebacktotheparishagain，hewouldbesenttosea，theretobedrowned，orknockedonthehead，asthecasemightbe，heevincedsolittleemotion，thattheybycommonconsentpronouncedhimahardenedyoungrascal，andoreredMr。Bumbletoremovehimforthwith。
　　Now，althoughitwasverynaturalthattheboard，ofallpeopleintheworld，shouldfeelinagreatstateofvirtuousastonishmentandhorroratthesmallesttokensofwantoffeelingonthepartofanybody，theywereratherout，inthisparticularinstance。Thesimplefactwas，thatOliver，insteadofpossessingtoolittlefeeling，possessedrathertoomuch；andwasinafairwayofbeingreduced，forlife，toastateofbrutalstupidityandsullennessbytheillusagehehadreceived。Heheardthenewsofhisdestination，inperfectsilence；and，havinghadhisluggageputintohishand——whichwasnotverydifficulttocarry，inasmuchasitwasallcomprisedwithinthelimitsofabrownpaperparcel，abouthalfafootsquarebythreeinchesdeep——hepulledhiscapoverhiseyes；andoncemoreattachinghimselftoMr。Bumble'scoatcuff，wasledawaybythatdignitarytoanewsceneofsuffering。
　　Forsometime，Mr。BumbledrewOliveralong，withoutnoticeorremark；forthebeadlecarriedhisheadveryerect，asabeadlealwaysshould:and，itbeingawindyday，littleOliverwascompletelyenshroudedbytheskirtsofMr。Bumble'scoatastheyblewopen，anddisclosedtogreatadvantagehisflappedwaistcoatanddrabplushknee-breeches。Astheydrewneartotheirdestination，however，Mr。Bumblethoughtitexpedienttolookdown，andseethattheboywasingoodorderforinspectionbyhisnewmaster:whichheaccordinglydid，withafitandbecomingairofgraciouspatronage。
　　'Oliver！'saidMr。Bumble。
　　'Yes，sir，'repliedOliver，inalow，tremulousvoice。
　　'Pullthatcapoffyoureyes，andholdupyourhead，sir。'
　　AlthoughOliverdidashewasdesired，atonce；andpassedthebackofhisunoccupiedhandbrisklyacrosshiseyes，heleftatearinthemwhenhelookedupathisconductor。AsMr。Bumblegazedsternlyuponhim，itrolleddownhischeek。Itwasfollowedbyanother，andanother。Thechildmadeastrongeffort，butitwasanunsuccessfulone。WithdrawinghisotherhandfromMr。
　　Bumble'shecoveredhisfacewithboth；andweptuntilthetearssprungoutfrombetweenhischinandbonyfingers。
　　'Well！'exclaimedMr。Bumble，stoppingshort，anddartingathislittlechargealookofintensemalignity。'Well！OfALLtheungratefullest，andworst-disposedboysaseverIsee，Oliver，youarethe——'
　　'No，no，sir，'sobbedOliver，clingingtothehandwhichheldthewell-knowncane；'no，no，sir；Iwillbegoodindeed；indeed，indeedIwill，sir！Iamaverylittleboy，sir；anditisso——so——'
　　'Sowhat?'inquiredMr。Bumbleinamazement。
　　'Solonely，sir！Soverylonely！'criedthechild。'Everybodyhatesme。Oh！sir，don't，don'tpraybecrosstome！'Thechildbeathishanduponhisheart；andlookedinhiscompanion'sface，withtearsofrealagony。
　　Mr。BumbleregardedOliver'spiteousandhelplesslook，withsomeastonishment，forafewseconds；hemmedthreeorfourtimesinahuskymanner；andaftermutteringsomethingabout'thattroublesomecough，'badeOliverdryhiseyesandbeagoodboy。
　　Thenoncemoretakinghishand，hewalkedonwithhiminsilence。
　　Theundertaker，whohadjustputuptheshuttersofhisshop，wasmakingsomeentriesinhisday-bookbythelightofamostappropriatedismalcandle，whenMr。Bumbleentered。
　　'Aha！'saidtheundertaker；lookingupfromthebook，andpausinginthemiddleofaword；'isthatyou，Bumble?'
　　'Nooneelse，Mr。Sowerberry，'repliedthebeadle。'Here！I'vebroughttheboy。'Olivermadeabow。
　　'Oh！that'stheboy，isit?'saidtheundertaker:raisingthecandleabovehishead，togetabetterviewofOliver。'Mrs。
　　Sowerberry，willyouhavethegoodnesstocomehereamoment，mydear?'
　　Mrs。Sowerberryemergedfromalittleroombehindtheshop，andpresentedtheformofashort，then，squeezed-upwoman，withavixenishcountenance。
　　'Mydear，'saidMr。Sowerberry，deferentially，'thisistheboyfromtheworkhousethatItoldyouof。'Oliverbowedagain。
　　'Dearme！'saidtheundertaker'swife，'he'sverysmall。'
　　'Why，heISrathersmall，'repliedMr。Bumble:lookingatOliverasifitwerehisfaultthathewasnobigger；'heissmall。
　　There'snodenyingit。Buthe'llgrow，Mrs。Sowerberry——he'llgrow。'
　　'Ah！Idaresayhewill，'repliedtheladypettishly，'onourvictualsandourdrink。Iseenosavinginparishchildren，notI；fortheyalwayscostmoretokeep，thanthey'reworth。