Headvancedastep，andfixedhisangryeyesonhersearchingly。
　　"DoyouknowwhyLadyJanetsentforme？"heasked。
　　"No。"
　　"ThenIwilltellyou。LadyJanetisastanchfriendofyours，thereisnodenyingthat。Shewishedtoinformmethatshehadalteredhermindaboutyourpromisedexplanationofyourconduct。Shesaid，'Reflectionhasconvincedmethatnoexplanationisrequired；Ihavelaidmypositivecommandsonmyadopteddaughterthatnoexplanationshalltakeplace。'Hasshedonethat？"
　　"Yes。"
　　"Nowobserve！Iwaitedtillshehadfinished，andthenIsaid，'WhathaveItodowiththis？'LadyJanethasonemerit——shespeaksout。'YouaretodoasIdo，'sheanswered。'Youaretoconsiderthatnoexplanationisrequired，andyouaretoconsignthewholemattertooblivionfromthistimeforth。''Areyouserious？'Iasked。'Quiteserious。''InthatcaseIhavetoinformyourladyshipthatyouinsistonmorethanyoumaysuppose：youinsistonmybreakingmyengagementtoMissRoseberry。EitherIamtohavetheexplanationthatshehaspromisedme，orIrefusetomarryher。'HowdoyouthinkLadyJanettookthat？Sheshutupherlips，andshespreadoutherhands，andshelookedatmeasmuchastosay，'Justasyouplease！Refuseifyoulike；it'snothingtome！'"
　　Hepausedforamoment。Mercyremainedsilent，onherside：sheforesawwhatwascoming。MistakeninsupposingthatHoracehadleftthehouse，Julianhad，beyondalldoubt，beenequallyinerrorinconcludingthathehadbeenentrappedintobreakingofftheengagementupstairs。
　　"Doyouunderstandmesofar？"Horaceasked。
　　"Iunderstandyouperfectly。"
　　"Iwillnottroubleyoumuchlonger，"heresumed。"IsaidtoLadyJanet，'Besogoodastoanswermeinplainwords。DoyoustillinsistonclosingMissRoseberry'slips？''Istillinsist，'sheanswered。'Noexplanationisrequired。Ifyouarebaseenoughtosuspectyourbetrothedwife，Iamjustenoughtobelieveinmyadopteddaughter。'Ireplied——andIbegyouwillgiveyourbestattentiontowhatIamnowgoingtosay——Irepliedtothat，'Itisnotfairtochargemewithsuspectingher。Idon'tunderstandherconfidentialrelationswithJulianGray，andIdon'tunderstandherlanguageandconductinthepresenceofthepoliceofficer。Iclaimitasmyrighttobesatisfiedonboththosepoints——inthecharacterofthemanwhoistomarryher。'Therewasmyanswer。Ispareyouallthatfollowed。IonlyrepeatwhatIsaidtoLadyJanet。Shehascommandedyoutobesilent。Ifyouobeyhercommands，IoweittomyselfandIoweittomyfamilytoreleaseyoufromyourengagement。ChoosebetweenyourdutytoLadyJanetandyourdutytoMe。"
　　Hehadmasteredhistemperatlast：hespokewithdignity，andhespoketothepoint。Hispositionwasunassailable；heclaimednothingbuthisright。
　　"Mychoicewasmade，"Mercyanswered，"whenIgaveyoumypromiseupstairs。"
　　Shewaitedalittle，strugglingtocontrolherselfonthebrinkoftheterriblerevelationthatwascoming。Hereyesdroppedbeforehis；herheartbeatfasterandfaster；butshestruggledbravely。Withadesperatecourageshefacedtheposition。"Ifyouarereadytolisten，"shewenton，"IamreadytotellyouwhyIinsistedonhavingthepoliceofficersentoutofthehouse。"
　　Horacehelduphishandwarningly。
　　"Stop！"hesaid；"thatisnotall。"
　　HisinfatuatedjealousyofJulianfatallymisinterpretingheragitationdistrustedherattheveryoutset。Shehadlimitedherselftoclearinguptheonequestionofherinterferencewiththeofficerofjustice。TheotherquestionofherrelationswithJulianshehaddeliberatelypassedover。Horaceinstantlydrewhisownungenerousconclusion。
　　"Letusnotmisunderstandoneanother，"hesaid。"Theexplanationofyourconductintheotherroomisonlyoneoftheexplanationswhichyouoweme。Youhavesomethingelsetoaccountfor。Letusbeginwiththat，ifyouplease。"
　　Shelookedathiminunaffectedsurprise。
　　"WhatelsehaveItoaccountfor？"sheasked。
　　HeagainrepeatedhisreplytoLadyJanet。
　　"Ihavetoldyoualready，"hesaid。"Idon'tunderstandyourconfidentialrelationswithJulianGray。"
　　Mercy'scolorrose；Mercy'seyesbegantobrighten。
　　"Don'treturntothat！"shecried，withanirrepressibleoutbreakofdisgust。"Don't，forGod'ssake，makemedespiseyouatsuchamomentasthis！"
　　Hisobstinacyonlygatheredfreshencouragementfromthatappealtohisbettersense。
　　"Iinsistonreturningtoit。"
　　Shehadresolvedtobearanythingfromhim——asherfitpunishmentforthedeceptionofwhichshehadbeenguilty。ButitwasnotinwomanhoodatthemomentwhenthefirstwordsofherconfessionweretremblingonherlipstoendureHorace'sunworthysuspicionofher。Sherosefromherseatandmethiseyefirmly。
　　"Irefusetodegrademyself，andtodegradeMr。JulianGray，byansweringyou，"shesaidConsiderwhatyouaredoing，"herejoined。Changeyourmind，beforeitistoolate！"
　　"Youhavehadmyreply。"
　　Thoseresolutewords，thatsteadyresistance，seemedtoinfuriatehim。Hecaughtherroughlybythearm。
　　"Youareasfalseashell！"hecried。"It'salloverbetweenyouandme！"
　　Theloudthreateningtoneinwhichhehadspokenpenetratedthroughthecloseddoorofthedining-room。Thedoorinstantlyopened。Julianreturnedtothelibrary。
　　Hehadjustsetfootintheroom，whentherewasaknockattheotherdoor——thedoorthatopenedonthehall。Oneofthemen-servantsappeared，withatelegraphicmessageinhishand。Mercywasthefirsttoseeit。ItwastheMatron'sanswertotheletterwhichshehadsenttotheRefuge。
　　"ForMr。JulianGray？"sheasked。
　　"Yes，miss。"
　　"Giveittome。"
　　Shesignedtothemantowithdraw，andherselfgavethetelegramtoJulian。"Itisaddressedtoyou，atmyrequest，"shesaid。"Youwillrecognizethenameofthepersonwhosendsit，andyouwillfindamessageinitforme。"
　　HoraceinterferedbeforeJuliancouldopenthetelegram。
　　"Anotherprivateunderstandingbetweenyou！"hesaid。"Givemethattelegram。"
　　Julianlookedathimwithquietcontempt。
　　"ItisdirectedtoMe，"heanswered——andopenedtheenvelope。
　　Themessageinsidewasexpressedintheseterms："Iamasdeeplyinterestedinherasyouare。SaythatIhavereceivedherletter，andthatIwelcomeherbacktotheRefugewithallmyheart。Ihavebusinessthiseveningintheneighborhood。IwillcallforhermyselfatMablethorpeHouse。"
　　Themessageexplaineditself。Ofherownfree-willshehadmadetheexpiationcomplete！Ofherownfree-willshewasgoingbacktothemartyrdomofheroldlife！BoundasheknewhimselftobetoletnocompromisingwordoractionescapehiminthepresenceofHorace，theirrepressibleexpressionofJulian'sadmirationglowedinhiseyesastheyrestedonMercy。Horacedetectedthelook。HesprangforwardandtriedtosnatchthetelegramoutofJulian'shand。
　　"Giveittome！"hesaid。"Iwillhaveit！"
　　Juliansilentlyputhimbackatarms-length。
　　Maddenedwithrage，heliftedhishandthreateningly。"Giveittome！"herepeatedbetweenhissetteeth，"oritwillbetheworseforyou！"
　　"Giveittome！"saidMercy，suddenlyplacingherselfbetweenthem。
　　Juliangaveit。Sheturned，andofferedittoHorace，lookingathimwithasteadyeye，holdingitouttohimwithasteadyhand。
　　"Readit，"shesaid。
　　Julian'sgenerousnaturepitiedthemanwhohadinsultedhim。Julian'sgreatheartonlyrememberedthefriendofformertimes。
　　"Sparehim！"hesaidtoMercy。"Rememberheisunprepared。"
　　Sheneitheranswerednormoved。Nothingstirredthehorribletorporofherresignationtoherfate。Sheknewthatthetimehadcome。
　　JulianappealedtoHorace。
　　"Don'treadit！"hecried。"Hearwhatshehastosaytoyoufirst！"
　　Horace'shandansweredhimwithacontemptuousgesture。Horace'seyesdevoured，wordbyword，theMatron'smessage。
　　Helookedupwhenhehadreaditthrough。TherewasaghastlychangeinhisfaceasheturneditonMercy。
　　Shestoodbetweenthetwomenlikeastatue。Thelifeinherseemedtohavediedout，exceptinhereyes。HereyesrestedonHoracewithasteady，glitteringcalmness。
　　ThesilencewasonlybrokenbythelowmurmuringofJulian'svoice。Hisfacewashiddeninhishands——hewasprayingforthem。
　　Horacespoke，layinghisfingeronthetelegram。Hisvoicehadchangedwiththechangeinhisface。Thetonewaslowandtrembling：noonewouldhaverecognizeditasthetoneofHorace'svoice。
　　"Whatdoesthismean？"hesaidtoMercy。"Itcan'tbeforyou？"
　　"Itisforme。"
　　"WhathaveYoutodowithaRefuge？"
　　Withoutachangeinherface，withoutamovementinherlimbs，shespokethefatalwords：
　　"IhavecomefromaRefuge，andIamgoingbacktoaRefuge。Mr。HoraceHolmcroft，IamMercyMerrick。"
　　[NextChapter]
　　[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen，Chapter26CHAPTERXXVI。
　　GREATHEARTANDLITTLEHEART。
　　THEREwasapause。
　　Themomentspassed——andnotoneofthethreemoved。Themomentspassed——andnotoneofthethreespoke。InsensiblythewordsofsupplicationdiedawayonJulian'slips。Evenhisenergyfailedtosustainhim，triedasitnowwasbythecrushingoppressionofsuspense。Thefirsttriflingmovementwhichsuggestedtheideaofchange，andwhichsobroughtwithitthefirstvaguesenseofrelief，camefromMercy。Incapableofsustainingtheprolongedeffortofstanding，shedrewbackalittleandtookachair。Nooutwardmanifestationofemotionescapedher。Thereshesat——withthedeath-liketorporofresignationinherface——waitinghersentenceinsilencefromthemanatwhomshehadhurledthewholeterribleconfessionofthetruthinonesentence！
　　Julianliftedhisheadasshemoved。HelookedatHorace，andadvancingafewsteps，lookedagain。Therewasfearinhisface，ashesuddenlyturnedittowardMercy。
　　"Speaktohim！"hesaid，inawhisper。"Rousehim，beforeit'stoolate！"
　　Shemovedmechanicallyinherchair；shelookedmechanicallyatJulian。
　　"WhatmorehaveItosaytohim？"sheasked，infaint，wearytones。"DidInottellhimeverythingwhenItoldhimmyname？"
　　ThenaturalsoundofhervoicemighthavefailedtoaffectHorace。Thealteredsoundofitrousedhim。HeapproachedMercy'schair，withadullsurpriseinhisface，andputhishand，inaweak，waveringway，onhershoulder。Inthatpositionhestoodforawhile，lookingdownatherinsilence。
　　TheoneideainhimthatfounditswayoutwardtoexpressionwastheideaofJulian。Withoutmovinghishand，withoutlookingupfromMercy，hespokeforthefirsttimesincetheshockhadfallenonhim。
　　"WhereisJulian？"heasked，veryquietly。
　　"Iamhere，Horace——closebyyou。"
　　"Willyoudomeaservice？"
　　"Certainly。HowcanIhelpyou？"
　　Heconsideredalittlebeforehereplied。HishandleftMercy'sshoulder，andwentuptohishead——thendroppedathisside。Hisnextwordswerespokeninasadlyhelpless，bewilderedway。
　　"Ihaveanidea，Julian，thatIhavebeensomehowtoblame。Isaidsomehardwordstoyou。Itwasalittlewhilesince。Idon'tclearlyrememberwhatitwasallabout。Mytemperhasbeenagooddealtriedinthishouse；Ihaveneverbeenusedtothesortofthingthatgoesonhere——secretsandmysteries，andhatefullow-livedquarrels。Wehavenosecretsandmysteriesathome。Andasforquarrels——ridiculous！Mymotherandmysistersarehighlybredwomenyouknowthem；gentlewomen，inthebestsenseoftheword。WhenIamwiththemIhavenoanxieties。Iamnotharassedathomebydoubtsofwhopeopleare，andconfusionaboutnames，andsoon。Isuspectthecontrastweighsalittleonmymindandupsetsit。Theymakemeover-suspiciousamongthemhere，anditendsinmyfeelingdoubtsandfearsthatIcan'tgetover：doubtsaboutyouandfearsaboutmyself。Ihavegotafearaboutmyselfnow。Iwantyoutohelpme。ShallImakeanapologyfirst？"
　　"Don'tsayaword。TellmewhatIcando。"
　　HeturnedhisfacetowardJulianforthefirsttime。
　　"Justlookatme，"hesaid。"DoesitstrikeyouthatIamatallwronginmymind？Tellmethetruth，oldfellow。"
　　"Yournervesarealittleshaken，Horace。Nothingmore。"
　　Heconsideredagainafterthatreply，hiseyesremaininganxiouslyfixedonJulian'sface。
　　"Mynervesarealittleshaken，"herepeated。"Thatistrue；Ifeeltheyareshaken。Ishouldlike，ifyoudon'tmind，tomakesurethatit'snoworse。Willyouhelpmetotryifmymemoryisallright？"
　　"Iwilldoanythingyoulike。"
　　"Ah！youareagoodfellow，Julian——andaclear-headedfellowtoo，whichisveryimportantjustnow。Lookhere！Isayit'saboutaweeksincethetroublesbeganinthishouse。Doyousaysotoo？"
　　"Yes。"
　　"ThetroublescameinwiththecomingofawomanfromGermany，astrangertous，whobehavedveryviolentlyinthedining-roomthere。AmIright，sofar？"
　　"Quiteright。"
　　"Thewomancarriedmatterswithahighhand。SheclaimedColonelRoseberry——Iwishtobestrictlyaccurate——sheclaimedthelateColonelRoseberryasherfather。Shetoldatiresomestoryaboutherhavingbeenrobbedofherpapersandhernamebyanimpostorwhohadpersonatedher。ShesaidthenameoftheimpostorwasMercyMerrick。Andsheafterwardputtheclimaxtoitall：shepointedtotheladywhoisengagedtobemywife，anddeclaredthatshewasMercyMerrick。Tellmeagain，isthatrightorwrong？"
　　Julianansweredhimasbefore。Hewenton，speakingmoreconfidentlyandmoreexcitedlythanhehadspokenyet。
　　"Nowattendtothis，Julian。Iamgoingtopassfrommymemoryofwhathappenedaweekagotomymemoryofwhathappenedfiveminutessince。Youwerepresent；Iwanttoknowifyouheardittoo。"Hepaused，and，withouttakinghiseyesoffJulian，pointedbackwardtoMercy。"Thereistheladywhoisengagedtomarryme，"heresumed。"DidI，ordidInot，hearhersaythatshehadcomeoutofaRefuge，andthatshewasgoingbacktoaRefuge？DidI，ordidInot，hearherowntomyfacethathernamewasMercyMerrick？Answerme，Julian。Mygoodfriend，answerme，forthesakeofoldtimes。"
　　Hisvoicefalteredashespokethoseimploringwords。Underthedullblankofhisfacethereappearedthefirstsignsofemotionslowlyforcingitswayoutward。Thestunnedmindwasrevivingfaintly。Juliansawhisopportunityofaidingtherecovery，andseizedit。HetookHoracegentlybythearm，andpointedtoMercy。
　　"Thereisyouranswer！"hesaid。"Look！——andpityher。"
　　Shehadnotonceinterruptedthemwhiletheyhadbeenspeaking：shehadchangedherpositionagain，andthatwasall。Therewasawriting-tableatthesideofherchair；heroutstretchedarmsrestedonit。Herheadhaddroppedonherarms，andherfacewashidden。Julian'sjudgmenthadnotmisledhim；theutterself-abandonmentofherattitudeansweredHoraceasnohumanlanguagecouldhaveansweredhim。Helookedather。Aquickspasmofpainpassedacrosshisface。Heturnedoncemoretothefaithfulfriendwhohadforgivenhim。HisheadfellonJulian'sshoulder，andheburstintotears。
　　Mercystartedwildlytoherfeet，andlookedatthetwomen。
　　"OGod"shecried，"whathaveIdone！"
　　Julianquietedherbyamotionofhishand。
　　"Youhavehelpedmetosavehim，"hesaid。"Lethistearshavetheirway。Wait。"
　　HeputonearmroundHoracetosupporthim。Themanlytendernessoftheaction，thecompleteandnoblepardonofpastinjurieswhichitimplied，touchedMercytotheheart。Shewentbacktoherchair。Againshameandsorrowoverpoweredher，andagainshehidherfacefromview。
　　JulianledHoracetoaseat，andsilentlywaitedbyhimuntilhehadrecoveredhisself-control。Hegratefullytookthekindhandthathadsustainedhim：hesaid，simply，almostboyishly，"Thankyou，Julian。Iambetternow。"
　　"Areyoucomposedenoughtolistentowhatissaidtoyou？"Julianasked。
　　"Yes。Doyouwishtospeaktome？"
　　Julianlefthimwithoutimmediatelyreplying，andreturnedtoMercy。
　　"Thetimehascome，"hesaid。"Tellhimall——truly，unreservedly，asyouwouldtellittome。"
　　Sheshudderedashespoke。"HaveInottoldhimenough？"sheasked。"Doyouwantmetobreakhisheart？Lookathim！LookwhatIhavedonealready！"
　　HoraceshrankfromtheordealasMercyshrankfromit。
　　"No，no！Ican'tlistentoit！Idaren'tlistentoit！"hecried，androsetoleavetheroom。
　　Julianhadtakenthegoodworkinhand：heneverfalteredoveritforaninstant。Horacehadlovedher——howdearlyJuliannowknewforthefirsttime。Thebarepossibilitythatshemightearnherpardonifshewasallowedtopleadherowncausewasapossibilitystillleft。ToletherwinonHoracetoforgiveher，wasdeathtothelovethatstillfilledhisheartinsecret。Butheneverhesitated。Witharesolutionwhichtheweakermanwaspowerlesstoresist，hetookhimbythearmandledhimbacktohisplace。
　　"Forhersake，andforyoursake，youshallnotcondemnherunheard，"hesaidtoHorace，firmly。"Onetemptationtodeceiveyouafteranotherhastriedher，andshehasresistedthemall。Withnodiscoverytofear，withaletterfromthebenefactresswholoveshercommandinghertobesilent，witheverythingthatawomanvaluesinthisworldtolose，ifsheownswhatshehasdone——thiswoman，forthetruth'ssake，hasspokenthetruth。Doesshedeservenothingatyourhandsinreturnforthat？Respecther，Horace——andhearher。"
　　Horaceyielded。JulianturnedtoMercy。
　　"Youhaveallowedmetoguideyousofar，"hesaid。"Willyouallowmetoguideyoustill？"
　　Hereyessankbeforehis；herbosomroseandfellrapidly。Hisinfluenceoverhermaintaineditssway。Shebowedherheadinspeechlesssubmission。
　　"Tellhim，"Julianproceeded，inaccentsofentreaty，notofcommand——"tellhimwhatyourlifehasbeen。Tellhimhowyouweretriedandtempted，withnofriendneartospeakthewordswhichmighthavesavedyou。Andthen，"headded，raisingherfromthechair，"lethimjudgeyou——ifhecan！"
　　HeattemptedtoleadheracrosstheroomtotheplacewhichHoraceoccupied。Buthersubmissionhaditslimits。Half-waytotheplaceshestopped，andrefusedtogofurther。Julianofferedherachair。Shedeclinedtotakeit。Standingwithonehandonthebackofthechair，shewaitedforthewordfromHoracewhichwouldpermithertospeak。Shewasresignedtotheordeal。Herfacewascalm；hermindwasclear。Thehardestofallhumiliationstoendure——thehumiliationofacknowledginghername——shehadpassedthrough。NothingremainedbuttoshowhergratitudetoJulianbyaccedingtohiswishes，andtoaskpardonofHoracebeforetheypartedforever。InalittlewhiletheMatronwouldarriveatthehouse——andthenitwouldbeover。
　　UnwillinglyHoracelookedather。Theireyesmet。Hebrokeoutsuddenlywithsomethingofhisformerviolence。
　　"Ican'trealizeitevennow！"hecried。"IsittruethatyouarenotGraceRoseberry？Don'tlookatme！Sayinoneword——YesorNo！"
　　Sheansweredhim，humblyandsadly，"Yes。"
　　"Youhavedonewhatthatwomanaccusedyouofdoing？AmItobelievethat？"
　　"Youaretobelieveit，sir。"
　　AlltheweaknessofHorace'scharacterdiscloseditselfwhenshemadethatreply。
　　"Infamous！"heexclaimed。"Whatexcusecanyoumakeforthecrueldeceptionyouhavepracticedonme？Toobad！toobad！Therecanbenoexcuseforyou！"
　　Sheacceptedhisreproacheswithunshakenresignation。"Ihavedeservedit！"wasallshesaidtoherself，"Ihavedeservedit！"
　　JulianinterposedoncemoreinMercy'sdefense。
　　"Waittillyouaresurethereisnoexcuseforher，Horace，"hesaid，quietly。"Grantherjustice，ifyoucangrantnomore。Ileaveyoutogether。"
　　Headvancedtowardthedoorofthedining-room。Horace'sweaknessdiscloseditselfoncemore。
　　"Don'tleavemealonewithher！"heburstout。"ThemiseryofitismorethanIcanbear！"
　　JulianlookedatMercy。Herfacebrightenedfaintly。Thatmomentaryexpressionofrelieftoldhimhowtrulyhewouldbebefriendingherifheconsentedtoremainintheroom。Apositionofretirementwasofferedtohimbyarecessformedbythecentralbay-windowofthelibrary。Ifheoccupiedthisplace，theycouldseeornotseethathewaspresent，astheirowninclinationsmightdecidethem。
　　"Iwillstaywithyou，Horace，aslongasyouwishmetobehere。"Havingansweredinthoseterms，hestoppedashepassedMercy，onhiswaytothewindow。Hisquickandkindlyinsighttoldhimthathemightstillbeofsomeservicetoher。Ahintfromhimmightshowhertheshortestandtheeasiestwayofmakingherconfession。Delicatelyandbrieflyhegaveherthehint。"ThefirsttimeImetyou，"hesaid，"Isawthatyourlifehadhaditstroubles。Letushearhowthosetroublesbegan。"
　　Hewithdrewtohisplaceintherecess。Forthefirsttime，sincethefataleveningwhensheandGraceRoseberryhadmetintheFrenchcottage，MercyMerricklookedbackintothepurgatoryonearthofherpastlife，andtoldhersadstorysimplyandtrulyinthesewords。
　　[NextChapter]
　　[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen，Chapter27CHAPTERXXVII。
　　MAGDALEN'SAPPRENTICESHIP。
　　"MR。JULIANGRAYhasaskedmetotellhim，andtotellyou，Mr。Holmcroft，howmytroublesbegan。Theybeganbeforemyrecollection。Theybeganwithmybirth。
　　"MymotherasIhaveheardhersayruinedherprospects，whenshewasquiteayounggirl，byamarriagewithoneofherfather'sservants——thegroomwhorodeoutwithher。Shesuffered，poorcreature，theusualpenaltyofsuchconductashers。Afterashorttimesheandherhusbandwereseparated——ontheconditionofhersacrificingtothemanwhomshehadmarriedthewholeofthelittlefortunethatshepossessedinherright。
　　"Gainingherfreedom，mymotherhadtogainherdailybreadnext。Herfamilyrefusedtotakeherback。Sheattachedherselftoacompanyofstrollingplayers。
　　"Shewasearningabarelivinginthisway，whenmyfatheraccidentallymetwithher。Hewasamanofhighrank，proudofhisposition，andwellknowninthesocietyofthattimeforhismanyaccomplishmentsandhisrefinedtastes。Mymother'sbeautyfascinatedhim。Hetookherfromthestrollingplayers，andsurroundedherwitheveryluxurythatawomancoulddesireinahouseofherown。
　　"Idon'tknowhowlongtheylivedtogether。Ionlyknowthatmyfather，atthetimeofmyfirstrecollections，hadabandonedher。Shehadexcitedhissuspicionsofherfidelity——suspicionswhichcruellywrongedher，asshedeclaredtoherdyingday。Ibelievedher，becauseshewasmymother。ButIcannotexpectotherstodoasIdid——Icanonlyrepeatwhatshesaid。Myfatherleftherabsolutelypenniless。Heneversawheragain；andherefusedtogotoherwhenshesenttohiminherlastmomentsonearth。
　　"ShewasbackagainamongthestrollingplayerswhenIfirstrememberher。Itwasnotanunhappytimeforme。Iwasthefavoritepetandplaythingofthepooractors。Theytaughtmetosingandtodanceatanagewhenotherchildrenarejustbeginningtolearntoread。AtfiveyearsoldIwasinwhatiscalled'theprofession，'andhadmademypoorlittlereputationinboothsatcountryfairs。Asearlyasthat，Mr。Holmcroft，Ihadbeguntoliveunderanassumedname——theprettiestnametheycouldinventforme'tolookwellinthebills。'Itwassometimesahardstruggleforus，inbadseasons，tokeepbodyandsoultogether。Learningtosinganddanceinpublicoftenmeantlearningtobearhungerandcoldinprivate，whenIwasapprenticedtothestage。AndyetIhavelivedtolookbackonmydayswiththestrollingplayersasthehappiestdaysofmylife！
　　"IwastenyearsoldwhenthefirstseriousmisfortunethatIcanrememberfelluponme。Mymotherdied，wornoutintheprimeofherlife。Andnotlongafterwardthestrollingcompany，broughttotheendofitsresourcesbyasuccessionofbadseasons，wasbrokenup。
　　"Iwasleftontheworld，anameless，pennilessoutcast，withonefatalinheritance——Godknows，Icanspeakofitwithoutvanity，afterwhatIhavegonethrough！——theinheritanceofmymother'sbeauty。
　　"Myonlyfriendswerethepoorstarved-outplayers。Twoofthemhusbandandwifeobtainedengagementsinanothercompany，andIwasincludedinthebargainThenewmanagerbywhomIwasemployedwasadrunkardandabrute。OnenightImadeatriflingmistakeinthecourseoftheperformances——andIwassavagelybeatenforit。PerhapsIhadinheritedsomeofmyfather'sspirit——without，Ihope，alsoinheritingmyfather'spitilessnature。Howeverthatmaybe，Iresolvednomatterwhatbecameofmeneveragaintoservethemanwhohadbeatenme。Iunlockedthedoorofourmiserablelodgingatdaybreakthenextmorning；and，attenyearsold，withmylittlebundleinmyhand，Ifacedtheworldalone。
　　"Mymotherhadconfidedtome，inherlastmoments，myfather'snameandtheaddressofhishouseinLondon。'Hemayfeelsomecompassionforyou'shesaid，'thoughhefeelsnoneforme：tryhim。'Ihadafewshillings，thelastpitifulremainsofmywages，inmypocket；andIwasnotfarfromLondon。ButIneverwentnearmyfather：childasIwas，Iwouldhavestarvedanddiedratherthangotohim。Ihadlovedmymotherdearly；andIhatedthemanwhohadturnedhisbackonherwhenshelayonherdeathbed。ItmadenodifferencetoMethathehappenedtobemyfather。
　　"Doesthisconfessionrevoltyou？Youlookatme，Mr。Holmcroft，asifitdid。
　　"Thinkalittle，sir。DoeswhatIhavejustsaidcondemnmeasaheartlesscreature，eveninmyearliestyears？Whatisafathertoachild——whenthechildhasneversatonhisknee，andneverhadakissorapresentfromhim？Ifwehadmetinthestreet，weshouldnothaveknowneachother。Perhapsinafter-days，whenIwasstarvinginLondon，Imayhavebeggedofmyfatherwithoutknowingit；andhemayhavethrownhisdaughterapennytogetridofher，withoutknowingiteither！Whatistheresacredintherelationsbetweenfatherandchild，whentheyaresuchrelationsasthese？Eventheflowersofthefieldcannotgrowwithoutlightandairtohelpthem！Howisachild'slovetogrow，withnothingtohelpit？
　　"Mysmallsavingswouldhavebeensoonexhausted，evenifIhadbeenoldenoughandstrongenoughtoprotectthemmyself。Asthingswere，myfewshillingsweretakenfrommebygypsies。Ihadnoreasontocomplain。Theygavemefoodandtheshelteroftheirtents，andtheymademeofusetotheminvariousways。Afterawhilehardtimescametothegypsies，astheyhadcometothestrollingplayers。Someofthemwereimprisoned；therestweredispersed。Itwastheseasonforhop-gatheringatthetime。Igotemploymentamongthehop-pickersnext；andthatdone，IwenttoLondonwithmynewfriends。
　　"Ihavenowishtowearyandpainyoubydwellingonthispartofmychildhoodindetail。ItwillbeenoughifItellyouthatIsanklowerandloweruntilIendedinsellingmatchesinthestreet。Mymother'slegacygotmemanyasixpencewhichmymatcheswouldneverhavecharmedoutofthepocketsofstrangersifIhadbeenanuglychild。Myface。whichwasdestinedtobemygreatestmisfortuneinafter-years，wasmybestfriendinthosedays。
　　"Isthereanything，Mr。Holmcroft，inthelifeIamnowtryingtodescribewhichremindsyouofadaywhenwewereoutwalkingtogethernotlongsince？
　　"Isurprisedandoffendedyou，Iremember；anditwasnotpossibleformetoexplainmyconductatthetime。Doyourecollectthelittlewanderinggirl，withthemiserablefadednosegayinherhand，whoranafterus，andbeggedforahalf-penny？Ishockedyoubyburstingoutcryingwhenthechildaskedustobuyherabitofbread。NowyouknowwhyIwassosorryforher。NowyouknowwhyIoffendedyouthenextdaybybreakinganengagementwithyourmotherandsisters，andgoingtoseethatchildinherwretchedhome。AfterwhatIhaveconfessed，youwilladmitthatmypoorlittlesisterinadversityhadthefirstclaimonme。
　　"Letmegoon。IamsorryifIhavedistressedyou。Letmegoon。
　　"TheforlornwanderersofthestreetshaveasIfounditonewayalwaysopentothemofpresentingtheirsufferingstothenoticeoftheirrichandcharitablefellow-creatures。Theyhaveonlytobreakthelaw——andtheymakeapublicappearanceinacourtofjustice。Ifthecircumstancesconnectedwiththeiroffenseareofaninterestingkind，theygainasecondadvantage：theyareadvertisedalloverEnglandbyareportinthenewspapers。
　　"Yes！evenIhavemyknowledgeofthelaw。IknowthatitcompletelyoverlookedmeaslongasIrespectedit。ButontwodifferentoccasionsitbecamemybestfriendwhenIsetitatdefiance！MyfirstfortunateoffensewascommittedwhenIwasjusttwelveyearsold。
　　"Itwaseveningtime。Iwashalfdeadwithstarvation；therainwasfalling；thenightwascomingon。Ibegged——openly，loudly，asonlyahungrychildcanbeg。Anoldladyinacarriageatashopdoorcomplainedofmyimportunity。Thepolicemandidhisduty。Thelawgavemeasupperandshelteratthestation-housethatnight。Iappearedatthepolicecourt，and，questionedbythemagistrate，Itoldmystorytruly。Itwastheevery-daystoryofthousandsofchildrenlikeme；butithadoneelementofinterestinit。Iconfessedtohavinghadafatherhewasthendeadwhohadbeenamanofrank；andIownedjustasopenlyasIownedeverythingelsethatIhadneverappliedtohimforhelp，inresentmentofhistreatmentofmymother。Thisincidentwasnew，Isuppose；itledtotheappearanceofmy'case'inthenewspapers。Thereportersfurtherservedmyinterestsbydescribingmeas'prettyandinteresting。'Subscriptionsweresenttothecourt。Abenevolentmarriedcouple，inarespectablesphereoflife，visitedtheworkhousetoseeme。Iproducedafavorableimpressiononthem——especiallyonthewife。Iwasliterallyfriendless；Ihadnounwelcomerelativestofollowmeandclaimme。Thewifewaschildless；thehusbandwasagood-naturedman。Itendedintheirtakingmeawaywiththemtotrymeinservice。
　　"Ihavealwaysfelttheaspiration，nomatterhowlowImayhavefallen，tostruggleupwardtoapositionaboveme；torise，inspiteoffortune，superiortomylotinlife。Perhapssomeofmyfather'spridemaybeattherootofthisrestlessfeelinginme。Itseemstobeapartofmynature。Itbroughtmeintothishouse——anditwillgowithmeoutofthishouse。Isitmycurseormyblessing？Iamnotabletodecide。
　　"OnthefirstnightwhenIsleptinmynewhomeIsaidtomyself，'Theyhavetakenmetobetheirservant：Iwillbesomethingmorethanthat——theyshallendintakingmefortheirchild。'BeforeIhadbeenaweekinthehouseIwasthewife'sfavoritecompanionintheabsenceofherhusbandathisplaceofbusiness。Shewasahighlyaccomplishedwoman，greatlyherhusband'ssuperiorincultivation，and，unfortunatelyforherself，alsohissuperiorinyears。Thelovewasallonherside。Exceptingcertainoccasionsonwhichherousedherjealousy，theylivedtogetheronsufficientlyfriendlyterms。Shewasoneofthemanywiveswhoresignthemselvestobedisappointedintheirhusbands——andhewasoneofthemanyhusbandswhoneverknowwhattheirwivesreallythinkofthem。Heronegreathappinesswasinteachingme。Iwaseagertolearn；Imaderapidprogress。AtmypliantageIsoonacquiredtherefinementsoflanguageandmannerwhichcharacterizedmymistress。Itisonlythetruthtosaythatthecultivationwhichhasmademecapableofpersonatingaladywasherwork。
　　"ForthreehappyyearsIlivedunderthatfriendlyroof。Iwasbetweenfifteenandsixteenyearsofage，whenthefatalinheritancefrommymothercastitsfirstshadowonmylife。Onemiserabledaythewife'smotherlyloveformechangedinaninstanttothejealoushatredthatneverforgives。Canyouguessthereason？Thehusbandfellinlovewithme。
　　"Iwasinnocent；Iwasblameless。Heownedithimselftotheclergymanwhowaswithhimathisdeath。Bythattimeyearshadpassed。Itwastoolatetojustifyme。
　　"HewasatanagewhenIwasunderhiscarewhenmenareusuallysupposedtoregardwomenwithtranquillity，ifnotwithindifference。Ithadbeenthehabitofyearswithmetolookonhimasmysecondfather。Inmyinnocentignoranceofthefeelingwhichreallyinspiredhim，Ipermittedhimtoindulgeinlittlepaternalfamiliaritieswithme，whichinflamedhisguiltypassion。Hiswifediscoveredhim——notI。Nowordscandescribemyastonishmentandmyhorrorwhenthefirstoutbreakofherindignationforcedonmetheknowledgeofthetruth。OnmykneesIdeclaredmyselfguiltless。OnmykneesIimploredhertodojusticetomypurityandmyyouth。Atothertimesthesweetestandthemostconsiderateofwomen，jealousyhadnowtransformedhertoaperfectfury。Sheaccusedmeofdeliberatelyencouraginghim；shedeclaredshewouldturnmeoutofthehousewithherownhands。Likeothereasy-temperedmen，herhusbandhadreservesofangerinhimwhichitwasdangeroustoprovoke。Whenhiswifeliftedherhandagainstme，helostallself-control，onhisside。Heopenlytoldherthatlifewasworthnothingtohimwithoutme。HeopenlyavowedhisresolutiontogowithmewhenIleftthehouse。Themaddenedwomanseizedhimbythearm——Isawthat，andsawnomore。Iranoutintothestreet，panic-stricken。Acabwaspassing。Igotintoitbeforehecouldopenthehousedoor，anddrovetotheonlyplaceofrefugeIcouldthinkof——asmallshop，keptbythewidowedsisterofoneofourservants。HereIobtainedshelterforthenight。Thenextdayhediscoveredme。Hemadehisvileproposals；heofferedmethewholeofhisfortune；hedeclaredhisresolution，saywhatImight，toreturnthenextday。Thatnight，byhelpofthegoodwomanwhohadtakencareofme——undercoverofthedarkness，asifIhadbeentoblame！——IwassecretlyremovedtotheEastEndofLondon，andplacedunderthechargeofatrustworthypersonwholived，inaveryhumbleway，bylettinglodgings。
　　"Here，inalittlebackgarretatthetopofthehouse，Iwasthrownagainontheworld——anagewhenitwasdoublyperilousformetobelefttomyownresourcestoearnthebreadIateandtheroofthatcoveredme。
　　"Iclaimnocredittomyself——youngasIwas，placedasIwasbetweentheeasylifeofViceandthehardlifeofVirtue——foractingasIdid。Themansimplyhorrifiedme：mynaturalimpulsewastoescapefromhim。Butletitberemembered，beforeIapproachthesaddestpartofmysadstory，thatIwasaninnocentgirl，andthatIwasatleastnottoblame。
　　"ForgivemefordwellingasIhavedoneonmyearlyyears。Ishrinkfromspeakingoftheeventsthatarestilltocome。
　　"Inlosingtheesteemofmyfirstbenefactress，Ihad，inmyfriendlessposition，lostallholdonanhonestlife——excepttheonefrailholdofneedle-work。TheonlyreferenceofwhichIcouldnowdisposewastherecommendationofmebymylandladytoaplaceofbusinesswhichlargelyemployedexpertneedle-women。Itisneedlessformetotellyouhowmiserablyworkofthatsortisremunerated：youhavereadaboutitinthenewspapers。AslongasmyhealthlastedIcontrivedtoliveandtokeepoutofdebt。FewgirlscouldhaveresistedaslongasIdidtheslowly-poisoninginfluencesofcrowdedwork-room，insufficientnourishment，andalmosttotalprivationofexercise。Mylifeasachildhadbeenalifeintheopenair：ithadhelpedtostrengthenaconstitutionnaturallyhardy，naturallyfreefromalltaintofhereditarydisease。Butmytimecameatlast。Underthecruelstresslaidonitmyhealthgaveway。Iwasstruckdownbylowfever，andsentencewaspronouncedonmebymyfellow-lodgers：'Ah，poorthing，hertroubleswillsoonbeatanend！'
　　"Thepredictionmighthaveprovedtrue——Imightneverhavecommittedtheerrorsandenduredthesufferingsofafteryears——ifIhadfallenillinanotherhouse。
　　"Butitwasmygood，ormyevil，fortune——Idarenotsaywhich——tohaveinterestedinmyselfandmysorrowsanactressatasuburbantheatre，whooccupiedtheroomundermine。Exceptwhenherstagedutiestookherawayfortwoorthreehoursintheevening，thisnoblecreatureneverleftmybedside。Illasshecouldaffordit，herpursepaidmyinevitableexpenseswhileIlayhelpless。Thelandlady，movedbyherexample，acceptedhalftheweeklyrentofmyroom。Thedoctor，withtheChristiankindnessofhisprofession，wouldtakenofees。Allthatthetenderestcarecouldaccomplishwaslavishedonme；myyouthandmyconstitutiondidtherest。Istruggledbacktolife——andthenItookupmyneedleagain。
　　"ItmaysurpriseyouthatIshouldhavefailedhavinganactressformydearestfriendtousethemeansofintroductionthusofferedtometotrythestage——especiallyasmychildishtraininghadgivenme，insomesmalldegree，afamiliaritywiththeArt。
　　"Ihadonlyonemotiveforshrinkingfromanappearanceatthetheatre——butitwasstrongenoughtoinducemetosubmittoanyalternativethatremained，nomatterhowhopelessitmightbe。IfIshowedmyselfonthepublicstage，mydiscoverybythemanfromwhomIhadescapedwouldbeonlyaquestionoftime。Iknewhimtobehabituallyaplay-goerandasubscribertoatheatricalnewspaper。Ihadevenheardhimspeakofthetheatretowhichmyfriendwasattached，andcompareitadvantageouslywithplacesofamusementoffarhigherpretensions。Soonerorlater，ifIjoinedthecompanyhewouldbecertaintogoandsee'thenewactress。'Thebarethoughtofitreconciledmetoreturningtomyneedle。BeforeIwasstrongenoughtoenduretheatmosphereofthecrowdedworkroomIobtainedpermission，asafavor，toresumemyoccupationathome。
　　"Surelymychoicewasthechoiceofavirtuousgirl？AndyetthedaywhenIreturnedtomyneedlewasthefataldayofmylife。
　　"Ihadnownotonlytoprovideforthewantsofthepassinghour——Ihadmydebtstopay。Itwasonlytobedonebytoilingharderthanever，andbylivingmorepoorlythanever。Isoonpaidthepenalty，inmyweakenedstate，ofleadingsuchalifeasthis。Oneeveningmyheadturnedsuddenlygiddy；myheartthrobbedfrightfully。Imanagedtoopenthewindow，andtoletthefreshairintotheroom，andIfeltbetter。ButIwasnotsufficientlyrecoveredtobeabletothreadmyneedle。Ithoughttomyself，'IfIgooutforhalfanhour，alittleexercisemayputmerightagain。'Ihadnot，asIsuppose，beenoutmorethantenminuteswhentheattackfromwhichIhadsufferedinmyroomwasrenewed。TherewasnoshopnearinwhichIcouldtakerefuge。Itriedtoringthebellofthenearesthousedoor。BeforeIcouldreachitIfaintedinthestreet。
　　"Howlonghungerandweaknessleftmeatthemercyofthefirststrangerwhomightpassby，itisimpossibleformetosay。
　　"WhenIpartiallyrecoveredmysensesIwasconsciousofbeingundersheltersomewhere，andofhavingawine-glasscontainingsomecordialdrinkheldtomylipsbyaman。Imanagedtoswallow——Idon'tknowhowlittle，orhowmuch。Thestimulanthadaverystrangeeffectonme。Revivingmeatfirst，itendedinstupefyingme。Ilostmysensesoncemore。
　　"WhenInextrecoveredmyself，thedaywasbreaking。Iwasinabedinastrangeroom。Anamelessterrorseizedme。Icalledout。Threeorfourwomencamein，whosefacesbetrayed，eventomyinexperiencedeyes，theshamelessinfamyoftheirlives。Istartedupinthebed。IimploredthemtotellmewhereIwas，andwhathadhappened——
　　"Spareme！Icansaynomore。NotlongsinceyouheardMissRoseberrycallmeanoutcastfromthestreets。Nowyouknow——asGodismyjudgeIamspeakingthetruth！——nowyouknowwhatmademeanoutcast，andinwhatmeasureIdeservedmydisgrace。"
　　Hervoicefaltered，herresolutionfailedher，forthefirsttime。
　　"Givemeafewminutes，"shesaid，inlow，pleadingtones。"IfItrytogoonnow，IamafraidIshallcry。"
　　ShetookthechairwhichJulianhadplacedforher，turningherfaceasidesothatneitherofthemencouldseeit。Oneofherhandswaspressedoverherbosom，theotherhunglistlesslyatherside。
　　Julianrosefromtheplacethathehadoccupied。Horaceneithermovednorspoke。Hisheadwasonhisbreast：thetracesoftearsonhischeeksownedmutelythatshehadtouchedhisheart。Wouldheforgiveher？Julianpassedon，andapproachedMercy'schair。
　　Insilencehetookthehandwhichhungatherside。Insilenceheliftedittohislipsandkissedit，asherbrothermighthavekissedit。Shestarted，butsheneverlookedup。Somestrangefearofdiscoveryseemedtopossessher。"Horace？"shewhispered，timidly。Julianmadenoreply。Hewentbacktohisplace，andallowedhertothinkitwasHorace。
　　Thesacrificewasimmenseenough——feelingtowardherashefelt——tobeworthyofthemanwhomadeit。
　　Afewminuteshadbeenallsheaskedfor。Inafewminutessheturnedtowardthemagain。Hersweetvoicewassteadyoncemore；hereyesrestedsoftlyonHoraceasshewenton。
　　"Whatwasitpossibleforafriendlessgirlinmypositiontodo，whenthefullknowledgeoftheoutragehadbeenrevealedtome？
　　"IfIhadpossessednearanddearrelativestoprotectandadviseme，thewretchesintowhosehandsIhadfallenmighthavefeltthepenaltyofthelaw。Iknewnomoreoftheformalitieswhichsetthelawinmotionthanachild。ButIhadanotheralternativeyouwillsay。Charitablesocietieswouldhavereceivedmeandhelpedme，ifIhadstatedmycasetothem。IknewnomoreofthecharitablesocietiesthanIknewofthelaw。Atleast，then，ImighthavegonebacktothehonestpeopleamongwhomIhadlived？WhenIreceivedmyfreedom，aftertheintervalofsomedays，Iwasashamedtogobacktothehonestpeople。Helplesslyandhopelessly，withoutsinorchoiceofmine，Idrifted，asthousandsofotherwomenhavedrifted，intothelifewhichsetamarkonmefortherestofmydays。
　　"Areyousurprisedattheignorancewhichthisconfessionreveals？
　　"You，whohaveyoursolicitorstoinformyouoflegalremediesandyournewspapers，circulars，andactivefriendstosoundthepraisesofcharitableinstitutionscontinuallyinyourears——you，whopossesstheseadvantages，havenoideaoftheouterworldofignoranceinwhichyourlostfellow-creatureslive。Theyknownothingunlesstheyareroguesaccustomedtopreyonsocietyofyourbenevolentschemestohelpthem。Thepurposeofpubliccharities，andthewaytodiscoverandapplytothem，oughttobepostedatthecornerofeverystreet。Whatdoweknowofpublicdinnersandeloquentsermonsandneatlyprintedcirculars？Everynowandthentheeaseofsomeforlorncreaturegenerallyofawomanwhohascommittedsuicide，withinfiveminutes'walk，perhaps，ofaninstitutionwhichwouldhaveopeneditsdoorstoher，appearsinthenewspapers，shocksyoudreadfully，andisthenforgottenagain。Takeasmuchpainstomakecharitiesandasylumsknownamongthepeoplewithoutmoneyasaretakentomakeanewplay，anewjournal，oranewmedicineknownamongthepeoplewithmoneyandyouwillsavemanyalostcreaturewhoisperishingnow。
　　"YouwillforgiveandunderstandmeifIsaynomoreofthisperiodofmylife。Letmepasstothenewincidentinmycareerwhichbroughtmeforthesecondtimebeforethepublicnoticeinacourtoflaw。
　　"Sadasmyexperiencehasbeen，ithasnottaughtmetothinkillofhumannature。Ihadfoundkindheartstofeelformeinmyformertroubles；andIhadfriends——faithful，self-denying，generousfriends——amongmysistersinadversitynow。Oneofthesepoorwomenshehasgone，Iamgladtothink，fromtheworldthatusedhersohardlyespeciallyattractedmysympathies。Shewasthegentlest，themostunselfishcreatureIhaveevermetwith。Welivedtogetherlikesisters。Morethanonceinthedarkhourswhenthethoughtofself-destructioncomestoadesperatewoman，theimageofmypoordevotedfriend，lefttosufferalone，roseinmymindandrestrainedme。Youwillhardlyunderstandit，butevenwehadourhappydays。WhensheorIhadafewshillingstospare，weusedtoofferoneanotherlittlepresents，andenjoyoursimplepleasureingivingandreceivingaskeenlyasifwehadbeenthemostreputablewomenliving。
　　"OnedayItookmyfriendintoashoptobuyheraribbon——onlyabowforherdress。Shewastochooseit，andIwastopayforit，anditwastobetheprettiestribbonthatmoneycouldbuy。
　　"Theshopwasfull；wehadtowaitalittlebeforewecouldbeserved。
　　"Nexttome，asIstoodatthecounterwithmycompanion，wasagaudily-dressedwoman，lookingatsomehandkerchiefs。Thehandkerchiefswerefinelyembroidered，butthesmartladywashardtoplease。Shetumbledthemupdisdainfullyinaheap，andaskedforotherspecimensfromthestockintheshop。Theman，inclearingthehandkerchiefsoutoftheway，suddenlymissedone。Hewasquitesureofit，fromapeculiarityintheembroiderywhichmadethehandkerchiefespeciallynoticeable。Iwaspoorlydressed，andIwasclosetothehandkerchiefs。Afteronelookatmeheshoutedtothesuperintendent：'Shutthedoor！Thereisathiefintheshop！'
　　"Thedoorwasclosed；thelosthandkerchiefwasvainlysoughtforonthecounterandonthefloor。Arobberyhadbeencommitted；andIwasaccusedofbeingthethief。
　　"IwillsaynothingofwhatIfelt——Iwillonlytellyouwhathappened。
　　"Iwassearched，andthehandkerchiefwasdiscoveredonme。Thewomanwhohadstoodnexttome，onfindingherselfthreatenedwithdiscovery，hadnodoubtcontrivedtoslipthestolenhandkerchiefintomypocket。Onlyanaccomplishedthiefcouldhaveescapeddetectioninthatwaywithoutmyknowledge。Itwasuseless，inthefaceofthefacts，todeclaremyinnocence。Ihadnocharactertoappealto。Myfriendtriedtospeakforme；butwhatwasshe？Onlyalostwomanlikemyself。Mylandlady'sevidenceinfavorofmyhonestyproducednoeffect；itwasagainstherthatsheletlodgingstopeopleinmyposition。Iwasprosecuted，andfoundguilty。Thetaleofmydisgraceisnowcomplete，Mr。Holmcroft。NomatterwhetherIwasinnocentornot，theshameofitremains——Ihavebeenimprisonedfortheft。
　　"Thematronoftheprisonwasthenextpersonwhotookaninterestinme。ShereportedfavorablyofmybehaviortotheauthoritiesandwhenIhadservedmytimeasthephrasewasamongusshegavemealettertothekindfriendandguardianofmylateryears——totheladywhoiscomingheretotakemebackwithhertotheRefuge。
　　"Fromthistimethestoryofmylifeislittlemorethanthestoryofawoman'svaineffortstorecoverherlostplaceintheworld。
　　"Thematron，onreceivingmeintotheRefuge，franklyacknowledgedthattherewereterribleobstaclesinmyway。ButshesawthatIwassincere，andshefeltagoodwoman'ssympathyandcompassionforme。Onmyside，Ididnotshrinkfrombeginningtheslowandwearyjourneybackagaintoareputablelifefromthehumbleststarting-point——fromdomesticservice。AfterfirstearningmynewcharacterintheRefuge，Iobtainedatrialinarespectablehouse。Iworkedhard，andworkeduncomplainingly；butmymother'sfatallegacywasagainstmefromthefirst。Mypersonalappearanceexcitedremark；mymannersandhabitswerenotthemannersandhabitsofthewomenamongwhommylotwascast。Itriedoneplaceafteranother——alwayswiththesameresults。SuspicionandjealousyIcouldendure；butIwasdefenselesswhencuriosityassailedmeinitsturn。Soonerorlaterinquiryledtodiscovery。Sometimestheservantsthreatenedtogivewarninginabody——andIwasobligedtogo。Sometimes，wheretherewasayoungmaninthefamily，scandalpointedatmeandathim——andagainIwasobligedtogo。Ifyoucaretoknowit，MissRoseberrycantellyouthestoryofthosesaddays。IconfidedittoheronthememorablenightwhenwemetintheFrenchcottage；Ihavenoheartrepeatitnow。AfterawhileIweariedofthehopelessstruggle。Despairlaiditsholdonme——IlostallhopeinthemercyofGod。MorethanonceIwalkedtooneorotherofthebridges，andlookedovertheparapetattheriver，andsaidtomyself'Otherwomenhavedoneit：whyshouldn'tI？'
　　"Yousavedmeatthattime，Mr。Gray——asyouhavesavedmesince。IwasoneofyourcongregationwhenyoupreachedinthechapeloftheRefugeYoureconciledothersbesidesmetoourhardpilgrimage。Intheirnameandinmine，sir，Ithankyou。
　　"IforgethowlongitwasafterthebrightdaywhenyoucomfortedandsustainedusthatthewarbrokeoutbetweenFranceandGermany。ButIcanneverforgettheeveningwhenthematronsentformeintoherownroomandsaid，'Mydear，yourlifehereisawastedlife。Ifyouhavecourageenoughlefttotryit，Icangiveyouanotherchance。'
　　"IpassedthroughamonthofprobationinaLondonhospital。AweekafterthatIworetheredcrossoftheGenevaConvention——IwasappointednurseinaFrenchambulance。Whenyoufirstsawme，Mr。Holmcroft，Istillhadmynurse'sdresson，hiddenfromyouandfromeverybodyunderagraycloak。
　　"Youknowwhatthenexteventwas；youknowhowIenteredthishouse。
　　"Ihavenottriedtomaketheworstofmytrialsandtroublesintellingyouwhatmylifehasbeen。IhavehonestlydescribeditforwhatitwaswhenImetwithMissRoseberry——alifewithouthope。MayyouneverknowthetemptationthattriedmewhentheshellstruckitsvictimintheFrenchcottage！Thereshelay——dead！Hernamewasuntainted。Herfuturepromisedmetherewardwhichhadbeendeniedtothehonesteffortsofapenitentwoman。MylostplaceintheworldwasofferedbacktomeontheoneconditionthatIstoopedtowinitbyafraud。Ihadnoprospecttolookforwardto；Ihadnofriendneartoadvisemeandtosaveme；thefairestyearsofmywomanhoodhadbeenwastedinthevainstruggletorecovermygoodname。SuchwasmypositionwhenthepossibilityofpersonatingMissRoseberryfirstforceditselfonmymind。Impulsively，recklessly——wickedly，ifyoulike——Iseizedtheopportunity，andletyoupassmethroughtheGermanlinesunderMissRoseberry'sname。ArrivedinEngland，havinghadtimetoreflect，Imademyfirstandlastefforttodrawbackbeforeitwastoolate。IwenttotheRefuge，andstoppedontheoppositesideofthestreet，lookingatit。TheoldhopelesslifeofirretrievabledisgraceconfrontedmeasIfixedmyeyesonthefamiliardoor；thehorrorofreturningtothatlifewasmorethanIcouldforcemyselftoendure。Anemptycabpassedmeatthemoment。Thedriverhelduphishand。InsheerdespairIstoppedhim，andwhenhesaid'Whereto？'insheerdespairagainIanswered，'MablethorpeHouse。'
　　"OfwhatIhavesufferedinsecretsincemyownsuccessfuldeceptionestablishedmeunderLadyJanet'scareIshallsaynothing。Manythingswhichmusthavesurprisedyouinmyconductaremadeplaintoyoubythistime。YoumusthavenoticedlongsincethatIwasnotahappywoman。Nowyouknowwhy。
　　"Myconfessionismade；myconsciencehasspokenatlast。Youarereleasedfromyourpromisetome——youarefree。ThankMr。JulianGrayifIstandhereself-accusedoftheoffense，thatIhavecommitted，beforethemanwhomIhavewronged。"
　　[NextChapter]
　　[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen，Chapter28CHAPTERXXVIII。
　　SENTENCEISPRONOUNCEDONHER。
　　ITwasdone。Thelasttonesofhervoicediedawayinsilence。
　　HereyesstillrestedonHorace。Afterhearingwhathehadheardcouldheresistthatgentle，pleadinglook？Wouldheforgiveher？AwhilesinceJulianhadseentearsonhischeeks，andhadbelievedthathefeltforher。Whywashenowsilent？Wasitpossiblethatheonlyfeltforhimself？
　　Forthelasttime——atthecrisisofherlife——Julianspokeforher。Hehadneverlovedherashelovedheratthatmoment；ittriedevenhisgenerousnaturetopleadhercausewithHoraceagainsthimself。Buthehadpromisedher，withoutreserve，allthehelpthathertruestfriendcouldoffer。Faithfullyandmanfullyheredeemedhispromise。
　　"Horace！"hesaid。
　　Horaceslowlylookedup。Julianroseandapproachedhim。
　　"Shehastoldyoutothankme，ifherconsciencehasspoken。ThankthenoblenaturewhichansweredwhenIcalleduponit！Ownthepricelessvalueofawomanwhocanspeakthetruth。Herheartfeltrepentanceisajoyinheaven。Shallitnotpleadforheronearth？Honorher，ifyouareaChristian！Feelforher，ifyouareaman！"
　　Hewaited。Horaceneveransweredhim。
　　Mercy'seyesturnedtearfullyonJulian。Hisheartwastheheartthatfeltforher！Hiswordswerethewordswhichcomfortedandpardonedher！WhenshelookedbackagainatHorace，itwaswithaneffort。Hislastholdonherwaslost。Inherinmostmindathoughtroseunbidden——athoughtwhichwasnottoberepressed。"CanIeverhavelovedthisman？"
　　Sheadvancedasteptowardhim；itwasnotpossible，evenyet，tocompletelyforgotthepast。Sheheldoutherhand。
　　Heroseonhisside——withoutlookingather。
　　"Beforewepartforever，"shesaidtohim，"willyoutakemyhandasatokenthatyouforgiveme？"
　　Hehesitated。Hehalfliftedhishand。Thenextmomentthegenerousimpulsediedawayinhim。Initsplacecamethemeanfearofwhatmighthappenifhetrustedhimselftothedangerousfascinationofhertouch。Hishanddroppedagainathisside；heturnedawayquickly。
　　"Ican'tforgiveher！"hesaid。
　　Withthathorribleconfession——withoutevenalastlookather——helefttheroom。
　　AtthemomentwhenheopenedthedoorJulian'scontemptforhimburstitswaythroughallrestraints。
　　"Horace，"hesaid，"Ipityyou！"
　　AsthewordsescapedhimhelookedbackatMercy。Shehadturnedasidefrombothofthem——shehadretiredtoadistantpartofthelibraryThefirstbitterforetasteofwhatwasinstoreforherwhenshefacedtheworldagainhadcometoherfromHorace！Theenergywhichhadsustainedherthusfarquailedbeforethedreadfulprospect——doublydreadfultoawoman——ofobloquyandcontempt。Shesankonherkneesbeforealittlecouchinthedarkestcorneroftheroom。"OChrist，havemercyonme！"Thatwasherprayer——nomore。
　　Julianfollowedher。Hewaitedalittle。Thenhiskindhandtouchedher；hisfriendlyvoicefellconsolinglyonherear。
　　"Rise，poorwoundedheart！Beautiful，purifiedsoul，God'sangelsrejoiceoveryou！TakeyourplaceamongthenoblestofGod'screatures！"
　　Heraisedherashespoke。Allherheartwentouttohim。Shecaughthishand——shepressedittoherbosom；shepressedittoherlips——thendroppeditsuddenly，andstoodbeforehimtremblinglikeafrightenedchild。
　　"Forgiveme！"wasallshecouldsay。"Iwassolostandlonely——andyouaresogoodtome！"
　　Shetriedtoleavehim。Itwasuseless——herstrengthwasgone；shecaughtattheheadofthecouchtosupportherself。Helookedather。Theconfessionofhislovewasjustrisingtohislips——helookedagain，andcheckedit。No，notatthatmoment；notwhenshewashelplessandashamed；notwhenherweaknessmightmakeheryield，onlytoregretitatalatertime。Thegreatheartwhichhadsparedherandfeltforherfromthefirstsparedherandfeltforhernow。
　　He，too，lefther——butnotwithoutawordatparting。
　　"Don'tthinkofyourfuturelifejustyet，"hesaid，gently。"Ihavesomethingtoproposewhenrestandquiethaverestoredyou。"Heopenedthenearestdoor——thedoorofthedining-room——andwentout。
　　Theservantsengagedincompletingthedecorationofthedinner-tablenoticed，when"Mr。Julian"enteredtheroom，thathiseyeswere"brighterthanever。"Helookedtheyremarkedlikeamanwho"expectedgoodnews。"Theywereinclinedtosuspect——thoughhewascertainlyratheryoungforit——thatherladyship'snephewwasinafairwayofprefermentintheChurch。
　　Mercyseatedherselfonthecouch。
　　Therearelimits，inthephysicalorganizationofman，totheactionofpain。Whensufferinghasreachedagivenpointofintensitythenervoussensibilitybecomesincapableoffeelingmore。TheruleofNature，inthisrespect，appliesnotonlytosufferersinthebody，buttosufferersinthemindaswell。Grief，rage，terror，havealsotheirappointedlimits。Themoralsensibility，likethenervoussensibility，reachesitsperiodofabsoluteexhaustion，andfeelsnomore。
　　ThecapacityforsufferinginMercyhadattaineditsterm。Aloneinthelibrary，shecouldfeelthephysicalreliefofrepose；shecouldvaguelyrecallJulian'spartingwordstoher，andsadlywonderwhattheymeant——shecoulddonomore。
　　Anintervalpassed；abriefintervalofperfectrest。
　　SherecoveredherselfsufficientlytobeabletolookatherwatchandtoestimatethelapseoftimethatmightyetpassbeforeJulianreturnedtoherashehadpromised。Whilehermindwasstilllanguidlyfollowingthistrainofthoughtshewasdisturbedbytheringingofabellinthehall，usedtosummontheservantwhosedutieswereconnectedwiththatpartofthehouse。Inleavingthelibrary，Horacehadgoneoutbythedoorwhichledintothehall，andhadfailedtocloseit。Sheplainlyheardthebell——andamomentlatermoreplainlystillsheheardLadyJanet'svoice！
　　Shestartedtoherfeet。LadyJanet'sletterwasstillinthepocketofherapron——theletterwhichimperativelycommandedhertoabstainfrommakingtheveryconfessionthathadjustpassedherlips！Itwasnearthedinnerhour，andthelibrarywasthefavoriteplaceinwhichthemistressofthehouseandherguestsassembledatthattime。Itwasnomatterofdoubt；itwasanabsolutecertaintythatLadyJanethadonlystoppedinthehallonherwayintotheroom。
　　ThealternativeforMercylaybetweeninstantlyleavingthelibrarybythedining-roomdoor——orremainingwhereshewas，attheriskofbeingsoonerorlatercompelledtoownthatshehaddeliberatelydisobeyedherbenefactress。Exhaustedbywhatshehadalreadysuffered，shestoodtremblingandirresolute，incapableofdecidingwhichalternativesheshouldchoose。
　　LadyJanet'svoice，clearandresolute，penetratedintotheroom。Shewasreprimandingtheservantwhohadansweredthebell。
　　"Isityourdutyinmyhousetolookafterthelamps？"
　　"Yes，mylady。"
　　"Andisitmydutytopayyouyourwages？""
　　"Ifyouplease，mylady。"
　　"WhydoIfindthelightinthehalldim，andthewickofthatlampsmoking？IhavenotfailedinmydutytoYou。Don'tletmefindyoufailingagaininyourdutytoMe。"
　　NeverhadLadyJanet'svoicesoundedsosternlyinMercy'searasitsoundednow。Ifshespokewiththattoneofseveritytoaservantwhohadneglectedalamp，whathadheradopteddaughtertoexpectwhenshediscoveredthatherentreatiesandhercommandshadbeenalikesetatdefiance？
　　Havingadministeredherreprimand，LadyJanethadnotdonewiththeservantyet。Shehadaquestiontoputtohimnext。
　　"WhereisMissRoseberry？"
　　"Inthelibrary，mylady。"
　　Mercyreturnedtothecouch。Shecouldstandnolonger；shehadnotevenresolutionenoughlefttolifthereyestothedoor。
　　LadyJanetcameinmorerapidlythanusual。Sheadvancedtothecouch，andtappedMercyplayfullyonthecheekwithtwoofherfingers。
　　"Youlazychild！Notdressedfordinner？Oh，fie，fie！"
　　Hertonewasasplayfullyaffectionateastheactionwhichhadaccompaniedherwords。InspeechlessastonishmentMercylookedupather。
　　Alwaysremarkableforthetasteandsplendorofherdress，LadyJanethadonthisoccasionsurpassedherself。Thereshestoodrevealedinhergrandestvelvet，herrichestjewelry，herfinestlace——withnoonetoentertainatthedinner-tablebuttheordinarymembersofthecircleatMablethorpeHouse。Noticingthisasstrangetobeginwith，Mercyfurtherobserved，forthefirsttimeinherexperience，thatLadyJanet'seyesavoidedmeetinghers。Theoldladytookherplacecompanionablyonthecouch；sheridiculedher"lazychild's"plaindress，withoutanornamentofanysortonit，withherbestgrace；sheaffectionatelyputherarmroundMercy'swaist，andrearrangedwithherownhandthedisorderedlocksofMercy'shair——buttheinstantMercyherselflookedather，LadyJanet'seyesdiscoveredsomethingsupremelyinterestinginthefamiliarobjectsthatsurroundedheronthelibrarywalls。
　　Howwerethesechangestobeinterpreted？Towhatpossibleconclusiondidtheypoint？
　　Julian'sprofounderknowledgeofhumannature，ifJulianhadbeenpresent，mighthavefoundaclewtothemystery。HemighthavesurmisedincredibleasitwasthatMercy'stimiditybeforeLadyJanetwasfullyreciprocatedbyLadyJanet'stimiditybeforeMercy。Itwasevenso。ThewomanwhoseimmovablecomposurehadconqueredGraceRoseberry'sutmostinsolenceinthehourofhertriumph——thewomanwho，withoutonceflinching，hadfacedeveryotherconsequenceofherresolutiontoignoreMercy'struepositioninthehouse——quailedforthefirsttimewhenshefoundherselffacetofacewiththeverypersonforwhomshehadsufferedandsacrificedsomuch。ShehadshrunkfromthemeetingwithMercy，asMercyhadshrunkfromthemeetingwithher。Thesplendorofherdressmeantsimplythat，whenotherexcusesfordelayingthemeetingdownstairshadallbeenexhausted，theexcuseofalong，andelaboratetoilethadbeentriednext。Eventhemomentsoccupiedinreprimandingtheservanthadbeenmomentsseizedonasthepretextforanotherdelay。Thehastyentranceintotheroom，thenervousassumptionofplayfulnessinlanguageandmanner，theevasiveandwanderingeyes，wereallreferabletothesamecause。Inthepresenceofothers，LadyJanethadsuccessfullysilencedtheprotestofherowninbreddelicacyandinbredsenseofhonor。InthepresenceofMercy，whomshelovedwithamother'slove——inthepresenceofMercy，forwhomshehadstoopedtodeliberateconcealmentofthetruth——allthatwashighandnobleinthewoman'snatureroseinherandrebukedher。Whatwillthedaughterofmyadoption，thechildofmyfirstandlastexperienceofmaternallove，thinkofme，nowthatIhavemademyselfanaccompliceinthefraudofwhichsheisashamed？HowcanIlookherintheface，whenIhavenothesitated，outofselfishconsiderationformyowntranquillity，toforbidthatfrankavowalofthetruthwhichherfinersenseofdutyhadspontaneouslyboundhertomake？ThosewerethetorturingquestionsinLadyJanet'smind，whileherarmwaswoundaffectionatelyroundMercy'swaist，whileherfingerswerebusyingthemselvesfamiliarlywiththearrangementofMercy'shair。Thence，andthenceonly，sprangtheimpulsewhichsethertalking，withanuneasyaffectationoffrivolity，ofanytopicwithintherangeofconversation，solongasitrelatedtothefuture，andcompletelyignoredthepresentandthepast。
　　"Thewinterhereisunendurable，"LadyJanetbegan。"Ihavebeenthinking，Grace，aboutwhatwehadbetterdonext。"
　　Mercystarted。LadyJanethadcalledher"Grace。"LadyJanetwasstilldeliberatelyassumingtobeinnocentofthefaintestsuspicionofthetruth。
　　"No，"resumedherladyship，affectingtomisunderstandMercy'smovement，"youarenottogoupnowanddress。Thereisnotime，andIamquitereadytoexcuseyou。Youareafoiltome，mydear。Youhavereachedtheperfectionofshabbiness。Ah！IrememberwhenIhadmywhimsandfanciestoo，andwhenIlookedwellinanythingIwore，justasyoudo。Nomoreofthat。AsIwassaying，Ihavebeenthinkingandplanningwhatwearetodo。Wereallycan'tstayhere。Coldoneday，andhotthenext——whataclimate！Asforsociety，whatdoweloseifwegoaway？Thereisnosuchthingassocietynow。Assembliesofwell-dressedmobsmeetateachother'shouses，teareachother'sclothes，treadoneachother'stoes。Ifyouareparticularlylucky，yousitonthestaircase，yougetatepidice，andyouhearvapidtalkinslangphrasesallroundyou。Thereismodernsociety。Ifwehadagoodopera，itwouldbesomethingtostayinLondonfor。Lookattheprogrammefortheseasononthattable——promisingasmuchaspossibleonpaper，andperformingaslittleaspossibleonthestage。Thesameworks，sungbythesamesingersyearafteryear，tothesamestupidpeople——inshortthedullestmusicaleveningsinEurope。No！themoreIthinkofit，themoreplainlyIperceivethatthereisbutonesensiblechoicebeforeus：wemustgoabroad。Setthatprettyheadtowork；choosenorthorsouth，eastorwest；it'sallthesametome。Whereshallwego？"