Throwthepapertothedogs。I'llgiveyoumore!"
Andeverythingrockedfromsidetosideinrhythmic,wave-likemovement。NowthepeoplemovedfartherawayfromFoma,nowtheycamenearertohim,theceilingdescended,thefloorrose,anditseemedtoFomathathewouldsoonbeflattenedandcrushed。Thenhebegantofeelthathewasfloatingsomewhereoveranimmenselywideandstormyriver,and,staggering,hecriedoutinfright:
"Wherearewefloating?Whereisthecaptain?"
Hewasansweredbytheloud,senselesslaughterofthedrunkencrowd,andbytheshrill,repulsiveshoutoftheswarthylittleman:
"True!weareallwithouthelmandsails。Whereisthecaptain?
What?Ha,ha,ha!"
Fomaawakenedfromthisnightmareinasmallroomwithtwowindows,andthefirstthinghiseyesfelluponwasawitheredtree。Itstoodnearthewindow;itsthicktrunk,barkless,witharottenheart,preventedthelightfromenteringtheroom;thebent,blackbranches,devoidofleaves,stretchedthemselvesmournfullyandhelplesslyintheair,andshakingtoandfro,theycreakedsoftly,plaintively。Arainwasfalling;streamsofwaterwerebeatingagainstthewindow-panes,andonecouldhearhowthewaterwasfallingtothegroundfromtheroof,sobbingthere。Thissobbingsoundwasjoinedbyanothersound——ashrill,ofteninterrupted,hastyscratchingofapenoverpaper,andthenbyacertainspasmodicgrumbling。
Whenheturnedwithdifficultyhisaching,heavyheadonthepillow,Fomanoticedasmall,swarthyman,whosatbythetablehastilyscratchingwithhispenoverthepaper,shakinghisroundheadapprovingly,waggingitfromsidetoside,shrugginghisshoulders,and,withallhissmallbodyclothedinnightgarmentsonly,constantlymovingaboutinhischair,asthoughheweresittingonfire,andcouldnotgetupforsomereasonorother。
Hislefthand,leanandthin,wasnowfirmlyrubbinghisforehead,nowmakingcertainincomprehensiblesignsintheair;
hisbarefeetscrapedalongthefloor,acertainveinquiveredonhisneck,andevenhisearsweremoving。WhenheturnedtowardFoma,Fomasawhisthinlipswhisperingsomething,hissharp-
pointednoseturneddowntohisthinmoustache,whichtwitchedupwardeachtimethelittlemansmiled。Hisfacewasyellow,bloated,wrinkled,andhisblack,vivacioussmallsparklingeyesdidnotseemtobelongtohim。
Havinggrowntiredoflookingathim,Fomaslowlybegantoexaminetheroomwithhiseyes。Onthelargenails,drivenintothewalls,hungpilesofnewspapers,whichmadethewallslookasthoughcoveredwithswellings。Theceilingwaspastedwithpaperwhichhadbeenwhiteonceuponatime;nowitwaspuffeduplikebladders,tornhereandthere,peeledoffandhangingindirtyscraps;clothing,boots,books,tornpiecesofpaperlayscatteredonthefloor。Altogethertheroomgaveonetheimpressionthatithadbeenscaldedwithboilingwater。
Thelittlemandroppedthepen,bentoverthetable,drummedbrisklyonitsedgewithhisfingersandbegantosingsoftlyinafaintvoice:
"Takethedrumandfearnot,——
Andkissthesutlergirlaloud——
That'sthesenseoflearning——
Andthat'sphilosophy。"
Fomaheavedadeedsighandsaid:
"MayIhavesomeseltzer?"
"Ah!"exclaimedthelittleman,andjumpingupfromhischair,appearedatthewideoilcloth-coveredlounge,whereFomalay。
"Howdoyoudo,comrade!Seltzer?Ofcourse!Withcognacorplain?"
"Betterwithcognac,"saidFoma,shakingthelean,burninghandwhichwasoutstretchedtohim,andstaringfixedlyintothefaceofthelittleman。
"Yegorovna!"criedthelatteratthedoor,andturningtoFoma,asked:"Don'tyourecogniseme,FomaIgnatyevich?"
"Iremembersomething。Itseemstomewehadmetsomewherebefore。"
"Thatmeetinglastedforfouryears,butthatwaslongago!
Yozhov。"
"0hLord!"exclaimedFoma,inastonishment,slightlyrisingfromthelounge。"Isitpossiblethatitisyou?"
"Therearetimes,dear,whenIdon'tbelieveitmyself,butarealfactissomethingfromwhichdoubtjumpsbackasarubberballfromiron。"
Yozhov'sfacewascomicallydistorted,andforsomereasonorotherhishandsbegantofeelhisbreast。
"Well,well!"drawledoutFoma。"Buthowoldyouhavegrown!Ah-
ah!Howoldareyou?"
"Thirty。"
"Andyoulookasthoughyouwerefifty,lean,yellow。Lifeisn'tsweettoyou,itseems?Andyouaredrinking,too,Isee。"
Fomafeltsorrytoseehisjollyandbriskschoolmatesowornout,andlivinginthisdog-hole,whichseemedtobeswollenfromburns。Helookedathim,winkedhiseyesmournfullyandsawthatYozhov'sfacewasforevertwitching,andhissmalleyeswereburningwithirritation。Yozhovwastryingtouncorkthebottleofwater,andthusoccupied,wassilent;hepressedthebottlebetweenhiskneesandmadevaineffortstotakeoutthecork。AndhisimpotencemovedFoma。
"Yes;lifehassuckedyoudry。Andyouhavestudied。Evenscienceseemstohelpmanbutlittle,"saidGordyeeffplaintively。
"Drink!"saidYozhov,turningpalewithfatigue,andhandinghimtheglass。Thenhewipedhisforehead,seatedhimselfontheloungebesideFoma,andsaid:
"Leavesciencealone!Scienceisadrinkofthegods;butithasnotyetfermentedsufficiently,and,thereforeisnotfitforuse,likevodkawhichhasnotyetbeenpurifiedfromempyreumaticoil。Scienceisnotreadyforman'shappiness,myfriend。Andthoselivingpeoplethatuseitgetnothingbutheadaches。LikethoseyouandIhaveatpresent。Whydoyoudrinksorashly?"
"I?WhatelseamItodo?"askedFoma,laughing。YozhovlookedatFomasearchinglywithhiseyeshalfclosed,andhesaid:
"Connectingyourquestionwitheverythingyoujabberedlastnight,Ifeelwithinmytroubledsoulthatyou,too,myfriend,donotamuseyourselfbecauselifeischeerfultoyou。"
"Eh!"sighedFoma,heavily,risingfromthelounge。"Whatismylife?Itissomethingmeaningless。Ilivealone。Iunderstandnothing。AndyetthereissomethingIlongfor。Iyearntospitonallandthendisappearsomewhere!Iwouldliketorunawayfromeverything。Iamsoweary!"
"That'sinteresting!"saidYozhov,rubbinghishandsandturningaboutinalldirections。"Thisisinteresting,ifitistrueanddeep,foritshowsthattheholyspiritofdissatisfactionwithlifehasalreadypenetratedintothebedchambersofthemerchants,intothedeathchambersofsoulsdrownedinfatcabbagesoup,inlakesofteaandotherliquids。Givemeacircumstantialaccountofit。Then,mydear,Ishallwriteanovel。"
"Ihavebeentoldthatyouhavealreadywrittensomethingaboutme?"inquiredFoma,withcuriosity,andoncemoreattentivelyscrutinizedhisoldfriendunabletounderstandwhatsowretchedacreaturecouldwrite。
"OfcourseIhave!Didyoureadit?"
"No,Ididnothavethechance。"
"Andwhathavetheytoldyou?"
"Thatyougavemeacleverscolding。"
"Hm!Anddoesn'titinterestyoutoreadityourself?"inquiredYozhov,scrutinizingGordyeeffclosely。
"I'llreadit!"Fomaassuredhim,feelingembarrassedbeforeYozhov,andthatYozhovwasoffendedbysuchregardforhiswritings。"Indeed,itisinterestingsinceitisaboutmyself,"
headded,smilingkindheartedlyathiscomrade。
Insayingthishewasnotatallinterested,andhesaiditmerelyoutofpityforYozhov。Therewasquiteanotherfeelinginhim;hewishedtoknowwhatsortofamanYozhovwas,andwhyhehadbecomesowornout。ThismeetingwithYozhovgaveriseinhimtoatranquilandkindfeeling;itcalledforthrecollectionsofhischildhood,andtheseflashednowinhismemory,——flashedlikemodestlittlelights,timidlyshiningathimfromthedistanceofthepast。Yozhovwalkeduptothetableonwhichstoodaboilingsamovar,silentlypouredouttwoglassesofteaasstrongastar,andsaidtoFoma:
"Comeanddrinktea。Andtellmeaboutyourself。"
"Ihavenothingtotellyou。Ihavenotseenanythinginlife。
Mineisanemptylife!Youhadbettertellmeaboutyourself。I
amsureyouknowmorethanIdo,atanyrate。"
Yozhovbecamethoughtful,notceasingtoturnhiswholebodyandtowagglehishead。Inthoughtfulnesshisfacebecamemotionless,allitswrinklesgatherednearhiseyesandseemedtosurroundthemwithrays,andbecauseofthishiseyesrecededdeeperunderhisforehead。
"Yes,mydear,Ihaveseenathingortwo,andIknowagreatdeal,"hebegan,withashakeofthehead。"AndperhapsIknowevenmorethanitisnecessaryformetoknow,andtoknowmorethanitisnecessaryisjustasharmfultomanasitistobeignorantofwhatitisessentialtoknow。ShallItellyouhowI
havelived?Verywell;thatis,I'lltry。Ihavenevertoldanyoneaboutmyself,becauseIhaveneverarousedinterestinanyone。Itismostoffensivetoliveonearthwithoutarousingpeople'sinterestinyou!"
"Icanseebyyourfaceandbyeverythingelsethatyourlifehasnotbeenasmoothone!"saidFoma,feelingpleasedwiththefactthat,toallappearances,lifewasnotsweettohiscomradeaswell。Yozhovdrankhisteaatonedraught,thrusttheglassonthesaucer,placedhisfeetontheedgeofthechair,andclaspinghiskneesinhishands,restedhischinuponthem。Inthispose,smallsizedandflexibleasrubber,hebegan:
"ThestudentSachkov,myformerteacher,whoisnowadoctorofmedicine,awhist-playerandameanfellowallaround,usedtotellmewheneverIknewmylessonwell:'You'reafinefellow,Kolya!Youareanableboy。Weproletariats,plainandpoorpeople,comingfromthebackyardoflife,wemuststudyandstudy,inordertocometothefront,aheadofeverybody。Russiaisinneedofwiseandhonestpeople。Trytobesuch,andyouwillbemasterofyourfateandausefulmemberofsociety。Onuscommonersrestthebesthopesofthecountry。Wearedestinedtobringintoitlight,truth,'andsoon。Ibelievedhim,thebrute。Andsincethenabouttwentyyearshaveelapsed。Weproletariatshavegrownup,buthaveneitherappropriatedanywisdom,norbroughtlightintolife。Asbefore,Russiaisstillsufferingfromitschronicdisease——asuperabundanceofrascals;
whilewe,theproletariats,takepleasureinfillingtheirdensethrongs。Myteacher,Irepeat,isalackey,acharacterlessanddumbcreature,whomustobeytheordersofthemayor。While1amaclownintheemployofsociety。Famepursuesmehereintown,dear。IwalkalongthestreetandIhearonedriversaytoanother:'TheregoesYozhov!Howcleverlyhebarks,thedeucetakehim!'Yes!Eventhiscannotbesoeasilyattained。"
Yozhov'sfacewrinkledintoabittergrimace,andhebegantolaugh,noiselessly,withhislipsonly。Fomadidnotunderstandhiswords,and,justtosaysomething,heremarkedatrandom:
"Youdidn'thit,then,whatyouaimedat?"
"Yes,IthoughtIwouldgrowuphigher。AndsoIshould!SoI
should,Isay!"
Hejumpedupfromhischairandbegantorunaboutintheroom,exclaimingbrisklyinashrillvoice:
"Buttopreserveone'sselfpureforlifeandtobeafreemaninit,onemusthavevastpowers!Ihadthem。Ihadelasticity,cleverness。Ihavespentalltheseinordertolearnsomethingwhichisabsolutelyunnecessarytomenow。Ihavewastedthewholeofmyselfinordertopreservesomethingwithinmyself。0hdevil!Imyselfandmanyotherswithme,wehaveallrobbedourselvesforthesakeofsavingupsomethingforlife。Justthinkofit:desiringtomakeofmyselfavaluableman,Ihaveunderratedmyindividualityineverywaypossible。Inordertostudy,andnotdieofstarvation,Ihaveforsixyearsinsuccessiontaughtblockheadshowtoreadandwrite,andhadtobearamassofabominationsatthehandsofvariouspapasandmammas,whohumiliatedmewithoutanyconstraint。Earningmybreadandtea,Icouldnot,Ihadnotthetimetoearnmyshoes,andIhadtoturntocharitableinstitutionswithhumblepetitionsforloansonthestrengthofmypoverty。Ifthephilanthropistscouldonlyreckonuphowmuchofthespirittheykillinmanwhilesupportingthelifeofhisbody!Iftheyonlyknewthateachroubletheygiveforbreadcontainsninety-ninecopecks'worthofpoisonforthesoul!Iftheycouldonlyburstfromexcessoftheirkindnessandpride,whichtheydrawfromtheirholyactivity!Thereisnoneonearthmoredisgustingandrepulsivethanhewhogivesalms,evenasthereisnonemoremiserablethanhewhoacceptsit!"
Yozhovstaggeredaboutintheroomlikeadrunkenman,seizedwithmadness,andthepaperunderhisfeetwasrustling,tearing,flyinginscraps。Hegnashedhisteeth,shookhishead,hishandswavedintheairlikebrokenwingsofabird,andaltogetheritseemedasthoughhewerebeingboiledinakettleofhotwater。
Fomalookedathimwithastrange,mixedsensation;hepitiedYozhov,andatthesametimehewaspleasedtoseehimsuffering。
"Iamnotalone,heissuffering,too,"thoughtFoma,asYozhovspoke。AndsomethingclashedinYozhov'sthroat,likebrokenglass,andcreakedlikeanunoiledhinge。
"Poisonedbythekindnessofmen,Iwasruinedthroughthefatalcapacityofeverypoorfellowduringthemakingofhiscareer,throughthecapacityofbeingreconciledwithlittleintheexpectationofmuch。Oh!Doyouknow,morepeopleperishthroughlackofproperself-appreciationthanfromconsumption,andperhapsthatiswhytheleadersofthemassesserveasdistrictinspectors!"
"Thedeviltakethedistrictinspectors!"saidFoma,withawaveofthehand。"Tellmeaboutyourself。"
"Aboutmyself!Iamhereentire!"exclaimedYozhov,stoppingshortinthemiddleoftheroom,andstrikinghischestwithhishands。"IhavealreadyaccomplishedallIcouldaccomplish。I
haveattainedtherankofthepublic'sentertainer——andthatisallIcando!Toknowwhatshouldbedone,andnottobeabletodoit,nottohavethestrengthforyourwork——thatistorture!"
"That'sit!Waitawhile!"saidFoma,enthusiastically。"Nowtellmewhatoneshoulddoinordertolivecalmly;thatis,inordertobesatisfiedwithone'sself。"
ToFomathesewordssoundedloud,butempty,andtheirsoundsdiedawaywithoutstirringanyemotioninhisheart,withoutgivingrisetoasinglethoughtinhismind。
"Youmustalwaysbeinlovewithsomethingunattainabletoyou。A
mangrowsinheightbystretchinghimselfupwards。"
Nowthathehadceasedspeakingofhimself,Yozhovbegantotalkmorecalmly,inadifferentvoice。Hisvoicewasfirmandresolute,andhisfaceassumedanexpressionofimportanceandsternness。Hestoodinthecentreoftheroom,hishandwithoutstretchedfingersuplifted,andspokeasthoughhewerereading:
"Menarebasebecausetheystriveforsatiety。Thewell-fedmanisananimalbecausesatietyistheself-contentednessofthebody。Andtheself-contentednessofthespiritalsoturnsmanintoanimal。"
Againhestartedasthoughallhisveinsandmusclesweresuddenlystrained,andagainhebegantorunabouttheroominseethingagitation。
"Aself-contentedmanisthehardenedswellingonthebreastofsociety。Heismyswornenemy。Hefillshimselfupwithcheaptruths,withgnawedmorselsofmustywisdom,andheexistslikeastoreroomwhereastingyhousewifekeepsallsortsofrubbishwhichisabsolutelyunnecessarytoher,andworthless。Ifyoutouchsuchaman,ifyouopenthedoorintohim,thestenchofdecaywillbebreatheduponyou,andastreamofsomemustytrashwillbepouredintotheairyoubreathe。Theseunfortunatepeoplecallthemselvesmenoffirmcharacter,menofprinciplesandconvictions。Andnoonecarestoseethatconvictionsaretothembuttheclotheswithwhichtheycoverthebeggarlynakednessoftheirsouls。Onthenarrowbrowsofsuchpeopletherealwaysshinestheinscriptionsofamiliartoall:calmnessandconfidence。Whatafalseinscription!Justrubtheirforeheadswithfirmhandandthenyouwillseetherealsign-board,whichreads:'Narrowmindednessandweaknessofsoul!'"
FomawatchedYozhovbustlingabouttheroom,andthoughtmournfully:
"Whomisheabusing?Ican'tunderstand;butIcanseethathehasbeenterriblywounded。"
"HowmanysuchpeoplehaveIseen!"exclaimedYozhov,withwrathandterror。"Howtheselittleretailshopshavemultipliedinlife!Inthemyouwillfindcalicoforshrouds,andtar,candyandboraxfortheexterminationofcockroaches,butyouwillnotfindanythingfresh,hot,wholesome!Youcometothemwithanachingsoulexhaustedbyloneliness;youcome,thirstingtohearsomethingthathaslifeinit。Andtheyoffertoyousomewormcud,ruminatedbook-thoughts,grownsourwithage。Andthesedry,stalethoughtsarealwayssopoorthat,inordertogivethemexpression,itisnecessarytouseavastnumberofhigh-soundingandemptywords。WhensuchamanspeaksIsaytomyself:'Theregoesawell-fed,butover-wateredmare,alldecoratedwithbells;
she'scartingaloadofrubbishoutofthetown,andthemiserablewretchiscontentwithherfate。'"
"Theyaresuperfluouspeople,then,"saidFoma。Yozhovstoppedshortinfrontofhimandsaidwithabitingsmileonhislips:
"No,theyarenotsuperfluous,ohno!Theyexistasanexample,toshowwhatmanoughtnottobe。Speakingfrankly,theirproperplaceistheanatomicalmuseums,wheretheypreserveallsortsofmonstersandvarioussicklydeviationsfromthenormal。Inlifethereisnothingthatissuperfluous,dear。EvenIamnecessary!
Onlythosepeople,inwhosesoulsdwellsaslavishcowardicebeforelife,inwhosebosomsthereareenormousulcersofthemostabominableself-adoration,takingtheplacesoftheirdeadhearts——onlythosepeoplearesuperfluous;buteventheyarenecessary,ifonlyforthesakeofenablingmetopourmyhatreduponthem。"
Alldaylong,untilevening,Yozhovwasexcited,ventinghisblasphemyonmenhehated,andhiswords,thoughtheircontentswereobscuretoFoma,infectedhimwiththeirevilheat,andinfectingcalledforthinhimaneagerdesireforcombat。AttimestheresprangupinhimdistrustofYozhov,andinoneofthesemomentsheaskedhimplainly:
"Well!Andcanyouspeaklikethatinthefaceofmen?"
"Idoitateveryconvenientoccasion。AndeverySundayinthenewspaper。I'llreadsometoyouifyoulike。"
WithoutwaitingforFoma'sreply,hetoredownfromthewallafewsheetsofpaper,andstillcontinuingtorunabouttheroom,begantoreadtohim。Heroared,squeaked,laughed,showedhisteethandlookedlikeanangrydogtryingtobreakthechaininpowerlessrage。Notgraspingtheidealsinhisfriend'screations,Fomafelttheirdaringaudacity,theirbitingsarcasm,theirpassionatemalice,andhewasaswellpleasedwiththemasthoughhehadbeenscourgedwithbesomsinahotbath。
"Clever!"heexclaimed,catchingsomeseparatephrase。"That'scleverlyaimed!"
Everynowandagainthereflashedbeforehimthefamiliarnamesofmerchantsandwell-knowncitizens,whomYozhovhadstung,nowstoutlyandsharply,nowrespectfullyandwithafineneedle-likesting。
Foma'sapprobation,hiseyesburningwithsatisfaction,andhisexcitedfacegaveYozhovstillmoreinspiration,andhecriedandroaredeverlouderandlouder,nowfallingontheloungefromexhaustion,nowjumpingupagainandrushingtowardFoma。
"Come,now,readaboutme!"exclaimedFoma,longingtohearit。Yozhovrummagedamongapileofpapers,toreoutonesheet,andholdingitinbothhands,stoppedinfrontofFoma,withhislegsstraddledwideapart,whileFomaleanedbackinthebroken-
seatedarmchairandlistenedwithasmile。
ThenoticeaboutFomastartedwithadescriptionofthespreeontherafts,andduringthereadingofthenoticeFomafeltthatcertainparticularwordsstunghimlikemosquitoes。Hisfacebecamemoreserious,andhebenthisheadingloomysilence。Andthemosquitoeswentonmultiplying。
"Nowthat'stoomuch!"saidhe,atlength,confusedanddissatisfied。"SurelyyoucannotgainthefavourofGodmerelybecauseyouknowhowtodisgraceaman。"
"Keepquiet!Waitawhile!"saidYozhov,curtly,andwentonreading。
Havingestablishedinhisarticlethatthemerchantrisesbeyonddoubtabovetherepresentativesofotherclassesofsocietyinthematterofnuisanceandscandal-making,Yozhovasked:"Whyisthisso?"andreplied:
"Itseemstomethatthispredilectionforwildprankscomesfromthelackofcultureinsofarasitisdependentupontheexcessofenergyanduponidleness。Therecannotbeanydoubtthatourmerchantclass,withbutfewexceptions,isthehealthiestand,atthesametime,mostinactiveclass。"
"That'strue!"exclaimedFoma,strikingthetablewithhisfist。
"That'strue!Ihavethestrengthofabullanddotheworkofasparrow。"
"Whereisthemerchanttospendhisenergy?HecannotspendmuchofitontheExchange,sohesquanderstheexcessofhismuscularcapitalindrinking-boutsinkabaky;forhehasnoconceptionofotherapplicationsofhisstrength,whicharemoreproductive,morevaluabletolife。Heisstillabeast,andlifehasalreadybecometohimacage,anditistoonarrowforhimwithhissplendidhealthandpredilectionforlicentiousness。Hamperedbycultureheatoncestartstoleadadissolutelife。Thedebauchofamerchantisalwaystherevoltofacaptivebeast。Ofcoursethisisbad。But,ah!itwillbeworseyet,whenthisbeast,inadditiontohisstrength,shallhavegatheredsomesenseandshallhavedisciplinedit。Believeme,eventhenhewillnotceasetocreatescandals,buttheywillbehistoricalevents。
Heavendeliverusfromsuchevents!Fortheywillemanatefromthemerchant'sthirstforpower;theiraimwillbetheomnipotenceofoneclass,andthemerchantwillnotbeparticularaboutthemeanstowardtheattainmentofthisaim。
"Well,whatdoyousay,isittrue?"askedYozhov,whenhehadfinishedreadingthenewspaper,andthrownitaside。
"Idon'tunderstandtheend,"repliedFoma。"Andastostrength,thatistrue!WhereamItomakeuseofmystrengthsincethereisnodemandforit!Ioughttofightwithrobbers,orturnarobbermyself。IngeneralIoughttodosomethingbig。Andthatshouldbedonenotwiththehead,butwiththearmsandthebreast。WhileherewehavetogototheExchangeandtrytoaimwelltomakearouble。Whatdoweneeditfor?Andwhatisit,anyway?Haslifebeenarrangedinthisformforever?Whatsortoflifeisit,ifeveryoneisgrievedandfindsittoonarrowforhim?Lifeoughttobeaccordingtothetasteofman。Ifitisnarrowforme,ImustmoveitasunderthatImayhavemoreroom。
Imustbreakitandreconstructit。Butnod?That'swherethetroublelies!Whatoughttobedonethatlifemaybefreer?ThatIdonotunderstand,andthat'sallthereistoit。"
"Yes!"drawledoutYozhov。"Sothat'swhereyou'vegone!That,dear,isagoodthing!Ah,yououghttostudyalittle!Howareyouaboutbooks?Doyoureadany?"
"No,Idon'tcareforthem。Ihaven'treadany。"
"That'sjustwhyyoudon'tcareforthem。""Iamevenafraidtoreadthem。Iknowone——acertaingirl——it'sworsethandrinkingwithher!Andwhatsenseisthereinbooks?Onemanimaginessomethingandprintsit,andothersreadit。Ifitisinteresting,it'sallright。Butlearnfromabookhowtolive!——
thatissomethingabsurd。Itwaswrittenbyman,notbyGod,andwhatlawsandexamplescanmanestablishforhimself?"
"AndhowabouttheGospels?Weretheynotwrittenbymen?"
"Thosewereapostles。Nowtherearenone。"
"Good,yourrefutationissound!Itistrue,dear,therearenoapostles。OnlytheJudasesremained,andmiserableonesatthat。"
Fomafeltverywell,forhesawthatYozhovwasattentivelylisteningtohiswordsandseemedtobeweighingeachandeverywordheuttered。Meetingsuchbearingtowardhimforthefirsttimeinhislife,Fomaunburdenedhimselfboldlyandfreelybeforehisfriend,caringnothingforthechoiceofwords,andfeelingthathewouldbeunderstoodbecauseYozhovwantedtounderstandhim。
"Youareacuriousfellow!"saidYozhov,abouttwodaysaftertheirmeeting。"Andthoughyouspeakwithdifficulty,onefeelsthatthereisagreatdealinyou——greatdaringofheart!Ifyouonlyknewalittleabouttheorderoflife!Thenyouwouldspeakloudenough,Ithink。Yes!"
"Butyoucannotwashyourselfcleanwithwords,norcanyouthenfreeyourself,"remarkedFoma,withasigh。"Youhavesaidsomethingaboutpeoplewhopretendthattheyknoweverything,andcandoeverything。Ialsoknowsuchpeople。Mygodfather,forinstance。Itwouldbeagoodthingtosetoutagainstthem,toconvictthem;they'reaprettydangerousset!"
"Icannotimagine,Foma,howyouwillgetalonginlifeifyoupreservewithinyouthatwhichyounowhave,"saidYozhov,thoughtfully。
"It'sveryhard。Ilacksteadfastness。OfasuddenIcouldperhapsdosomething。Iunderstandverywellthatlifeisdifficultandnarrowforeveryoneofus。Iknowthatmygodfatherseesthat,too!Butheprofitsbythisnarrowness。Hefeelswellinit;heissharpasaneedle,andhe'llmakehiswaywhereverhepleases。ButIamabig,heavyman,that'swhyIamsuffocating!That'swhyIliveinfetters。Icouldfreemyselffromeverythingwithasingleeffort:justtomovemybodywithallmystrength,andthenallthefetterswillburst!"
"Andwhatthen?"askedYozhov。
"Then?"Fomabecamepensive,and,afteramoment'sthought,wavedhishand。"Idon'tknowwhatwillbethen。Ishallsee!"
"Weshallsee!"assentedYozhov。
Hewasgiventodrink,thislittlemanwhowasscaldedbylife。
Hisdaybeganthus:inthemorningathisteahelookedoverthelocalnewspapersanddrewfromthenewsnoticesmaterialforhisfeuilleton,whichhewroterightthenandthereonthecornerofthetable。Thenherantotheeditorialoffice,wherehemadeup"ProvincialPictures"outofclippingsfromcountrynewspapers。
OnFridayhehadtowritehisSundayfeuilleton。Foralltheypaidhimahundredandtwenty-fiveroublesamonth;heworkedfast,anddevotedallhisleisuretimetothe"surveyandstudyofcharitableinstitutions。"TogetherwithFomahestrolledabouttheclubs,hotelsandtavernstilllateatnight,drawingmaterialeverywhereforhisarticles,whichhecalled"brushesforthecleansingoftheconscienceofsociety。"Thecensorhestyledassuperintendentofthediffusionoftruthandrighteousnessinlife,"thenewspaperhecalled"thego-between,engagedinintroducingthereadertodangerousideas,"andhisownwork,"thesaleofasoulinretail,"and"aninclinationtoaudacityagainstholyinstitutions。"
FomacouldhardlymakeoutwhenYozhovjestedandwhenhewasinearnest。Hespokeofeverythingenthusiasticallyandpassionately,hecondemnedeverythingharshly,andFomalikedit。
Butoften,beginningtoargueenthusiastically,herefutedandcontradictedhimselfwithequalenthusiasmorwounduphisspeechwithsomeridiculousturn。ThenitappearedtoFomathatthatmanlovednothing,thatnothingwasfirmlyrootedwithinhim,thatnothingguidedhim。Onlywhenspeakingofhimselfhetalkedinaratherpeculiarvoice,andthemoreimpassionedhewasinspeakingofhimself,themoremercilessandenragedwasheinrevilingeverythingandeverybody。AndhisrelationtowardFomawasdual;sometimeshegavehimcourageandspoketohimhotly,quiveringineverylimb。
"Goahead!Refuteandoverthroweverythingyoucan!Pushforwardwithallyourmight。Thereisnothingmorevaluablethanman,knowthis!Cryatthetopofyourvoice:'Freedom!Freedom!"
ButwhenFoma,warmedupbytheglowingsparksofthesewords,begantodreamofhowheshouldstarttorefuteandoverthrowpeoplewho,forthesakeofpersonalprofit,donotwanttobroadenlife,Yozhovwouldoftencuthimshort:
"Dropit!Youcannotdoanything!Peoplelikeyouarenotneeded。
Yourtime,thetimeofthestrongbutnotclever,ispast,mydear!Youaretoolate!Thereisnoplaceforyouinlife。"
"No?Youarelying!"criedFoma,irritatedbycontradiction。
"Well,whatcanyouaccomplish?"
"I?"
"You!"
"Why,Icankillyou!"saidFoma,angrily,clenchinghisfist。
"Eh,youscarecrow!"saidYozhov,convincinglyandpitifully,withashrugoftheshoulder。"Isthereanythinginthat?Why,I
amanywayhalfdeadalreadyfrommywounds。"
Andsuddenlyinflamedwithmelancholymalice,hestretchedhimselfandsaid:
"Myfatehaswrongedme。WhyhaveIloweredmyself,acceptingthesopsofthepublic?WhyhaveIworkedlikeamachinefortwelveyearsinsuccessioninordertostudy?WhyhaveIswallowedfortwelvelongyearsintheGymnasiumandtheUniversitythedryandtedioustrashandthecontradictorynonsensewhichisabsolutelyuselesstome?Inordertobecomefeuilleton-writer,toplaytheclownfromdaytoday,entertainingthepublicandconvincingmyselfthatthatisnecessaryandusefultothem。Whereisthepowderofmyyouth?Ihavefiredoffallthechargeofmysoulatthreecopecksashot。WhatfaithhaveIacquiredformyself?Onlyfaithinthefactthateverythinginthislifeisworthless,thateverythingmustbebroken,destroyed。WhatdoIlove?Myself。AndIfeelthattheobjectofmylovedoesnotdeservemylove。WhatcanIaccomplish?"
Healmostwept,andkeptonscratchinghisbreastandhisneckwithhisthin,feeblehands。
Butsometimeshewasseizedwithaflowofcourage,andthenhespokeinadifferentspirit:
"I?Oh,no,mysongisnotyetsungtotheend!Mybreasthasimbibedsomething,andI'llhisslikeawhip!Wait,I'lldropthenewspaper,I'llstarttodoseriouswork,andwriteonesmallbook,whichIwillentitle'ThePassingoftheSoul';thereisaprayerbythatname,itisreadforthedying。Andbeforeitsdeaththissociety,cursedbytheanathemaofinwardimpotence,willreceivemybooklikeincense。"
Listeningtoeachandeverywordofhis,watchinghimandcomparinghisremarks,FomasawthatYozhovwasjustasweakashewas,thathe,too,hadlosthisway。ButYozhov'smoodstillinfectedFoma,hisspeechesenrichedFoma'svocabulary,andsometimeshenoticedwithjoyousdelighthowcleverlyandforciblyhehadhimselfexpressedthisorthatidea。HeoftenmetinYozhov'shousecertainpeculiarpeople,who,itseemedtohim,kneweverything,understoodeverything,contradictedeverything,andsawdeceitandfalsehoodineverything。Hewatchedtheminsilence,listenedtotheirwords;theiraudacitypleasedhim,buthewasembarrassedandrepelledbytheircondescendingandhaughtybearingtowardhim。AndthenheclearlysawthatinYozhov'sroomtheywereallclevererandbetterthantheywereinthestreetandinthehotels。Theyheldpeculiarconversations,wordsandgesturesforuseintheroom,andallthiswaschangedoutsidetheroom,intothemostcommonplaceandhuman。Sometimes,intheroom,theyallblazeduplikeahugewoodpile,andYozhovwasthebrightestfirebrandamongthem;butthelightofthisbonfireilluminatedbutfaintlytheobscurityofFomaGordyeeff'ssoul。
OnedayYozhovsaidtohim:
"Todaywewillcarouse!Ourcompositorshaveformedaunion,andtheyaregoingtotakealltheworkfromthepublisheronacontract。Therewillbesomedrinkingonthisaccount,andIaminvited。ItwasIwhoadvisedthemtodoit。Letusgo?Youwillgivethemagoodtreat。"
"Verywell!"saidFoma,towhomitwasimmaterialwithwhomhepassedthetime,whichwasaburdentohim。
IntheeveningofthatdayFomaandYozhovsatinthecompanyofrough-facedpeople,ontheoutskirtsofagrove,outsidethetown。Thereweretwelvecompositorsthere,neatlydressed;theytreatedYozhovsimply,asacomrade,andthissomewhatsurprisedandembarrassedFoma,inwhoseeyesYozhovwasafterallsomethingofamasterorsuperiortothem,whiletheywerereallyonlyhisservants。TheydidnotseemtonoticeGordyeeff,although,whenYozhovintroducedFomatothem,theyshookhandswithhimandsaidthattheyweregladtoseehim。Helaydownunderahazel-bush,andwatchedthemall,feelinghimselfastrangerinthiscompany,andnoticingthatevenYozhovseemedtohavegotawayfromhimdeliberately,andwaspayingbutlittleattentiontohim。HeperceivedsomethingstrangeaboutYozhov;
thelittlefeuilleton-writerseemedtoimitatethetoneandthespeechofthecompositors。Hebustledaboutwiththematthewoodpile,uncorkedbottlesofbeer,cursed,laughedloudlyandtriedhisbesttoresemblethem。Hewasevendressedmoresimplythanusual。
"Eh,brethren!"heexclaimed,withenthusiasm。"Ifeelwellwithyou!I'mnotabigbird,either。Iamonlythesonofthecourthouseguard,andnoncommissionedofficer,MatveyYozhov!"
"Whydoeshesaythat?"thoughtFoma。"Whatdifferencedoesitmakewhosesonamanis?Amanisnotrespectedonaccountofhisfather,butforhisbrains。"
Thesunwassettinglikeahugebonfireinthesky,tintingthecloudswithhuesofgoldandofblood。Dampnessandsilencewerebreathedfromtheforest,whileatitsoutskirtsdarkhumanfiguresbustledaboutnoisily。Oneofthem,shortandlean,inabroad-brimmedstrawhat,playedtheaccordion;anotherone,withdarkmoustacheandwithhiscaponthebackofhishead,sanganaccompanimentsoftly。Twootherstuggedatastick,testingtheirstrength。Severalbusiedthemselveswiththebasketcontainingbeerandprovisions;atallmanwithagrayishbeardthrewbranchesonthefire,whichwasenvelopedinthick,whitishsmoke。Thedampbranches,fallingonthefire,crackledandrustledplaintively,andtheaccordionteasinglyplayedalivelytune,whilethefalsettoofthesingerreinforcedandcompleteditsloudtones。
Apartfromthemall,onthebrinkofasmallravine,laythreeyoungfellows,andbeforethemstoodYozhov,whospokeinaringingvoice:
"Youbearthesacredbanneroflabour。AndI,likeyourselves,amaprivatesoldierinthesamearmy。WeallserveHerMajesty,thePress。Andwemustliveinfirm,solidfriendship。"
"That'strue,NikolayMatveyich!"someone'sthickvoiceinterruptedhim。"Andwewanttoaskyoutouseyourinfluencewiththepublisher!Useyourinfluencewithhim!Illnessanddrunkennesscannotbetreatedasoneandthesamething。And,accordingtohissystem,itcomesoutthus;ifoneofusgetsdrunkheisfinedtotheamountofhisday'searnings;ifhetakessickthesameisdone。Weoughttobepermittedtopresentthedoctor'scertificate,incaseofsickness,tomakeitcertain;andhe,tobejust,oughttopaythesubstituteatleasthalfthewagesofthesickman。Otherwise,itishardforus。
Whatifthreeofusshouldsuddenlybetakensickatonce?"
"Yes;thatiscertainlyreasonable,"assentedYozhov。"But,myfriends,theprincipleofcooperation——"
Fomaceasedlisteningtothespeechofhisfriend,forhisattentionwasdivertedbytheconversationofothers。Twomenweretalking;onewasatallconsumptive,poorlydressedandangry-lookingman;theotherafair-hairedandfair-beardedyoungman。
"Inmyopinion,"saidthetallmansternly,andcoughing,"itisfoolish!Howcanmenlikeusmarry?Therewillbechildren。Dowehaveenoughtosupportthem?Thewifemustbeclothed——andthenyoucan'ttellwhatsortofawomanyoumaystrike。"
"She'safinegirl,"saidthefair-hairedman,softly。"Well,it'snowthatsheisfine。Abetrothedgirlisonething,awifequiteanother。Butthatisn'tthemainpoint。Youcantry——
perhapsshewillreallybegood。Butthenyou'llbeshortofmeans。Youwillkillyourselfwithwork,andyouwillruinher,too。Marriageisanimpossiblethingforus。Doyoumeantosaythatwecansupportafamilyonsuchearnings?Here,yousee,I
haveonlybeenmarriedfouryears,andmyendisnear。Ihaveseennojoy——nothingbutworryandcare。"
Hebegantocough,coughedforalongtime,withagroan,andwhenhehadceased,hesaidtohiscomradeinachokingvoice:
"Dropit,nothingwillcomeofit!"
Hisinterlocutorbenthisheadmournfully,whileFomathought:
"Hespeakssensibly。It'sevidenthecanreasonwell。"
ThelackofattentionshowntoFomasomewhatoffendedhimandarousedinhimatthesametimeafeelingofrespectforthesemenwithdarkfacesimpregnatedwithlead-dust。Almostallofthemwereengagedinpracticalseriousconversation,andtheirremarkswerestuddedwithcertainpeculiarwords。Noneofthemfawneduponhim,nonebotheredhimwithov,withhisbacktothefire,andhesawbeforehimarowofbrightlyilluminated,cheerfulandsimplefaces。Theywereallexcitedfromdrinking,butwerenotyetintoxicated;theylaughed,jested,triedtosing,drank,andatecucumbers,whitebreadandsausages。AllthishadforFomaaparticularlypleasantflavour;hegrewbolder,seizedbythegeneralgoodfeeling,andhelongedtosaysomethinggoodtothesepeople,topleasethemallinsomewayorother。Yozhov,sittingbyhisside,movedaboutontheground,jostledhimwithhisshoulderand,shakinghishead,mutteredsomethingindistinctly。
Brethren!"shoutedthestoutfellow。"Let'sstrikeupthestudentsong。Well,one,two!"
"Swiftasthewaves,"
Someoneroaredinhisbassvoice:
"Arethedaysofourlife。"
"Friends!"saidYozhov,risingtohisfeet,aglassinhishand。
Hestaggered,andleanedhisotherhandagainstFoma'shead。Thestartedsongwasbrokenoff,andallturnedtheirheadstowardhim。
"Workingmen!Permitmetosayafewwords,wordsfromtheheart。
Iamhappyinyourcompany!Ifeelwellinyourmidst。Thatisbecauseyouaremenoftoil,menwhoserighttohappinessisnotsubjecttodoubt,althoughitisnotrecognised。Inyourennoblingmidst,0hhonestpeople,thelonelyman,whoispoisonedbylife,breathessoeasily,sofreely。"
Yozhov'svoicequiveredandquaked,andhisheadbegantoshake。
Fomafeltthatsomethingwarmtrickleddownonhishand,andhelookedupatthewrinkledfaceofYozhov,whowentonspeaking,tremblingineverylimb:
"Iamnottheonlyone。Therearemanylikemyself,intimidatedbyfate,brokenandsuffering。Wearemoreunfortunatethanyouare,becauseweareweakerbothinbodyandinsoul,butwearestrongerthanyoubecausewearearmedwithknowledge,whichwehavenoopportunitytoapply。Wearegladlyreadytocometoyouandresignourselvestoyouandhelpyoutolive。Thereisnothingelseforustodo!Withoutyouwearewithoutgroundtostandon;withoutus,youarewithoutlight!Comrades!wewerecreatedbyFateitselftocompleteoneanother!"
"Whatdoeshebegofthem?"thoughtFoma,listeningtoYozhov'swordswithperplexity。Andexaminingthefacesofthecompositorshesawthattheyalsolookedattheoratorinquiringly,perplexedly,wearily。
"Thefutureisyours,myfriends!"saidYozhov,faintly,shakinghisheadmournfullyasthoughfeelingsorryforthefuture,andyieldingtothesepeopleagainsthiswillthepredominanceoverit。"Thefuturebelongstothemenofhonesttoil。Youhaveagreattaskbeforeyou!Youhavetocreateanewculture,everythingfree,vitalandbright!I,whoamoneofyouinfleshandinspirit;whoamthesonofasoldier;Iproposeatoasttoyourfuture!Hurrah!"
Yozhovemptiedhisglassandsankheavilytotheground。Thecompositorsunanimouslytookuphisbrokenexclamation,andapowerful,thunderingshoutrolledthroughtheair,causingtheleavesonthetreestotremble。
"Let'sstartasongnow,"proposedthestoutfellowagain。
"Comeon!"chimedintwoorthreevoices。Anoisydisputeensuedastowhattosing。Yozhovlistenedtothenoise,and,turninghisheadfromonesidetoanother,scrutinizedthemall。
"Brethren,"Yozhovsuddenlycriedagain,"answerme。Sayafewwordsinreplytomyaddressofwelcome。"
Again——thoughnotatonce——allbecamesilent,somelookingathimwithcuriosity,othersconcealingagrin,stillotherswithanexpressionofdissatisfactionplainlywrittenontheirfaces。Andheagainrosefromthegroundandsaid,hotly:
"Twoofusherearecastawaybylife——Iandthatotherone。Webothdesirethesameregardformanandthehappinessoffeelingourselvesusefuluntoothers。Comrades!Andthatbig,stupidman——
"
"NikolayMatveyich,youhadbetternotinsultourguest!"saidsomeoneinadeep,displeasedvoice。
"Yes,that'sunnecessary,"affirmedthestoutfellow,whohadinvitedFomatothefireside。"Whyuseoffensivelanguage?"
Athirdvoicerangoutloudlyanddistinctly:
"Wehavecometogethertoenjoyourselves——totakearest。"
"Fools!"laughedYozhov,faintly。"Kind-heartedfools!Doyoupityhim?Butdoyouknowwhoheis?Heisofthosepeoplewhosuckyourblood。"
"Thatwilldo,NikolayMatveyich!"theycriedtoYozhov。Andallbegantotalk,payingnofurtherattentiontohim。Fomafeltsosorryforhisfriendthathedidnoteventakeoffence。HesawthatthesepeoplewhodefendedhimfromYozhov'sattackswerenowpurposelyignoringthefeuilleton-writer,andheunderstoodthatthiswouldpainYozhovifheweretonoticeit。Andinordertotakehisfriendawayfrompossibleunpleasantness,henudgedhiminthesideandsaid,withakind-heartedlaugh:
"Well,yougrumbler,shallwehaveadrink?Orisittimetogohome?"
"Home?Whereisthehomeofthemanwhohasnoplaceamongmen?"
askedYozhov,andshoutedagain:"Comrades!"
Unanswered,hisshoutwasdrownedinthegeneralmurmur。ThenhedroopedhisheadandsaidtoFoma:
"Let'sgofromhere。"
"Let'sgo。ThoughIdon'tmindsittingalittlelonger。It'sinteresting。Theybehavesonobly,thedevils。ByGod!"
"Ican'tbearitanylonger。Ifeelcold。Iamsuffocating。"
"Well,comethen。"
Fomarosetohisfeet,removedhiscap,and,bowingtothecompositors,saidloudlyandcheerfully:
"Thankyou,gentlemen,foryourhospitality!Good-bye!"
Theyimmediatelysurroundedhimandspoketohimpersuasively:
"Stayhere!Whereareyougoing?Wemightsingalltogether,eh?"
"No,Imustgo,itwouldbedisagreeabletomyfriendtogoalone。Iamgoingtoescorthim。Iwishyouajollyfeast!"
"Eh,yououghttowaitalittle!"exclaimedthestoutfellow,andthenwhispered:
"Someonewillescorthimhome!"
Theconsumptivealsoremarkedinalowvoice:
"Youstayhere。We'llescorthimtotown,andgethimintoacaband——thereyouare!"
Fomafeltlikestayingthere,andatthesametimewasafraidofsomething。WhileYozhovrosetohisfeet,and,clutchingatthesleevesofhisovercoat,muttered:
"Come,thedeviltakethem!"
"Tillwemeetagain,gentlemen!I'mgoing!"saidFomaanddepartedamidexclamationsofpoliteregret。
"Ha,ha,ha!"Yozhovburstoutlaughingwhenhehadgotabouttwentystepsawayfromthefire。"Theyseeusoffwithsorrow,buttheyaregladthatIamgoingaway。Ihinderedthemfromturningintobeasts。"
"It'strue,youdiddisturbthem,"saidFoma。"Whydoyoumakesuchspeeches?Peoplehavecomeouttoenjoythemselves,andyouobtrudeyourselfuponthem。Thatboresthem!"
"Keepquiet!Youdon'tunderstandanything!"criedYozhov,harshly。"YouthinkIamdrunk?It'smybodythatisintoxicated,butmysoulissober,itisalwayssober;itfeelseverything。
Oh,howmuchmeannessthereisintheworld,howmuchstupidityandwretchedness!Andmen——thesestupid,miserablemen。"
Yozhovpaused,and,claspinghisheadwithhishands,stoodforawhile,staggering。
"Yes!"drawledoutFoma。"Theyareverymuchunlikeoneanother。
Nowthesemen,howpolitetheyare,likegentlemen。Andtheyreasoncorrectly,too,andallthatsortofthing。Theyhavecommonsense。Yettheyareonlylabourers。"
Inthedarknessbehindthemthemenstruckupapowerfulchoralsong。Inharmoniousatfirst,itswelledandgrewuntilitrolledinahuge,powerfulwavethroughtheinvigoratingnocturnalair,abovethedesertedfield。
"MyGod!"saidYozhov,sadlyandsoftly,heavingasigh。"Wherebyarewetolive?Whereonfastenoursoul?Whoshallquenchitsthirstsforfriendshipbrotherhood,love,forpureandsacredtoil?"
"Thesesimplepeople,"saidFoma,slowlyandpensively,withoutlisteningtohiscompanionswords,absorbedashewasinhisownthoughts,"ifonelooksintothesepeople,they'renotsobad!
It'sevenvery——itisinteresting。Peasants,labourers,tolookatthemplainly,theyarejustlikehorses。Theycarryburdens,theypuffandblow。"
"Theycarryourlifeontheirbacks,"exclaimedYozhovwithirritation。"Theycarryitlikehorses,submissively,stupidly。
Andthissubmissivenessoftheirsisourmisfortune,ourcurse!"
AndFoma,carriedawaybyhisownthought,argued:
"Theycarryburdens,theytoilalltheirlifelongformeretrifles。Andsuddenlytheysaysomethingthatwouldn'tcomeintoyourmindinacentury。Evidentlytheyfeel。Yes,itisinterestingtobewiththem。"
Staggering,Yozhovwalkedinsilenceforalongtime,andsuddenlyhewavedhishandintheairandbegantodeclaiminadull,chokingvoice,whichsoundedasthoughitissuedfromhisstomach:
"Lifehascruellydeceivedme,Ihavesufferedsomuchpain。"
"These,dearboy,aremyownverses,"saidhe,stoppingshortandnoddinghisheadmournfully。"Howdotheyrun?I'veforgotten。
Thereissomethingthereaboutdreams,aboutsacredandpurelongings,whicharesmotheredwithinmybreastbythevapouroflife。Oh!"
"TheburieddreamswithinmybreastWillneverriseagain。"
"Brother!YouarehappierthanI,becauseyouarestupid。WhileI——"
"Don'tberude!"saidFoma,irritated。"Youwouldbetterlistenhowtheyaresinging。"
"Idon'twanttolistentootherpeople'ssongs,"saidYozhov,withashakeofthehead。"Ihavemyown,itisthesongofasoulrentinpiecesbylife。"
Andhebegantowailinawildvoice:
TheburieddreamswithinmybreastWillneverriseagain……
Howgreattheirnumberis!"
"Therewasawholeflowergardenofbright,livingdreamsandhopes。Theyperished,witheredandperished。Deathiswithinmyheart。Thecorpsesofmydreamsarerottingthere。Oh!oh!"
Yozhovburstintotears,sobbinglikeawoman。Fomapitiedhim,andfeltuncomfortablewithhim。Hejerkedathisshoulderimpatiently,andsaid:
"Stopcrying!Come,howweakyouare,brother!"ClaspinghisheadinhishandYozhovstraighteneduphisstoopingframe,madeaneffortandstartedagainmournfullyandwildly:
"Howgreattheirnumberis!
Theirsepulchrehownarrow!
IclothedthemallinshroudsofrhymeAndmanysadandsolemnsongsO'erthemIsangfromtimetotime!"
"0h,Lord!"sighedFomaindespair。"Stopthat,forChrist'ssake!ByGod,howsad!"
Inthedistancetheloudchoralsongwasrollingthroughthedarknessandthesilence。Someonewaswhistling,keepingtimetotherefrain,andthisshrillsound,whichpiercedtheear,ranaheadofthebillowofpowerfulvoices。Fomalookedinthatdirectionandsawthetall,blackwallofforest,thebrightfieryspotofthebonfireshininguponit,andthemistyfiguressurroundingthefire。Thewallofforestwaslikeabreast,andthefirelikeabloodywoundinit。Itseemedasthoughthebreastwastrembling,asthebloodcourseddowninburningstreams。Embracedindensegloomfromallsidesthepeopleseemedonthebackgroundoftheforest,likelittlechildren;they,too,seemedtoburn,illuminatedbytheblazeofthebonfire。Theywavedtheirhandsandsangtheirsongsloudly,powerfully。
AndYozhov,standingbesideFoma,spokeexcitedly:
"Youhard-heartedblockhead!Whydoyourepulseme?Yououghttolistentothesongofthedyingsoul,andweepoverit,for,whywasitwounded,whyisitdying?Begonefromme,begone!YouthinkIamdrunk?Iampoisoned,begone!"
Withoutliftinghiseyesofftheforestandthefire,sobeautifulinthedarkness,FomamadeafewstepsasidefromYozhovandsaidtohiminalowvoice:
"Don'tplaythefool。Whydoyouabusemeatrandom?"
"Iwanttoremainalone,andfinishsingingmysong。"
Staggering,he,too,movedasidefromFoma,andafterafewsecondsagainexclaimedinasobbingvoice:
"Mysongisdone!AndnevermoreShallIdisturbtheirsleepofdeath,OhLord,0hLord,reposemysoul!
Foritishopelessinitswounds,OhLord,reposemysoul。"
Fomashudderedatthesoundsoftheirgloomywailing,andhehurriedafterYozhov;butbeforeheovertookhimthelittlefeuilleton-writerutteredahystericalshriek,threwhimselfchestdownuponthegroundandburstoutsobbingplaintivelyandsoftly,evenassicklychildrencry。
"Nikolay!"saidFoma,liftinghimbytheshoulders。"Ceasecrying;what'sthematter?0hLord。Nikolay!Enough,aren'tyouashamed?"
ButYozhovwasnotashamed;hestruggledontheground,likeafishjusttakenfromthewater,andwhenFomahadliftedhimtohisfeet,hepressedclosetoFoma'sbreast,claspinghissideswithhisthinarms,andkeptonsobbing。
"Well,that'senough!"saidFoma,withhisteethtightlyclenched。"Enough,dear。"
Andagitatedbythesufferingofthemanwhowaswoundedbythenarrownessoflife,filledwithwrathonhisaccount,heturnedhisfacetowardthegloomwherethelightsofthetownwereglimmering,and,inanoutburstofwrathfulgrief,roaredinadeep,loudvoice:
"A-a-ana-thema!Becursed!Justwait。You,too,shallchoke!Becursed!"
CHAPTERXI
"LUBAVKA!"saidMayakinonedaywhenhecamehomefromtheExchange,"prepareyourselfforthisevening。Iamgoingtobringyouabridegroom!Prepareaniceheartylittlelunchforus。Putoutonthetableasmuchofouroldsilverwareaspossible,alsobringoutthefruit-vases,sothatheisimpressedbyourtable!
Lethimseethateachandeverythingwehaveisararity!"
Lubovwassittingbythewindowdarningherfather'ssocks,andherheadwasbentlowoverherwork。
"Whatisallthisfor,papa?"sheasked,dissatisfiedandoffended。
"Why,forsauce,forflavour。Andthen,it'sindueorder。Foragirlisnotahorse;youcan'tdisposeofherwithouttheharness。"
Allaflushwithoffence,Lubovtossedherheadnervously,andflingingherworkaside,castaglanceatherfather;and,takingupthesocksagain,shebentherheadstillloweroverthem。Theoldmanpacedtheroomtoandfro,pluckingathisfierybeardwithanxiety;hiseyesstaredsomewhereintothedistance,anditwasevidentthathewasallabsorbedinsomegreatcomplicatedthought。Thegirlunderstoodthathewouldnotlistentoherandwouldnotcaretocomprehendhowdegradinghiswordswereforher。Herromanticdreamsofahusband-friend,aneducatedman,whowouldreadwithherwisebooksandhelphertofindherselfinherconfuseddesires,thesedreamswerestifledbyherfather'sinflexibleresolutiontomarryhertoSmolin。Theyhadbeenkilledandhadbecomedecomposed,settlingdownasabittersedimentinhersoul。Shehadbeenaccustomedtolookinguponherselfasbetterandhigherthantheaveragegirlofthemerchantclass,thantheemptyandstupidgirlwhothinksofnothingbutdresses,andwhomarriesalmostalwaysaccordingtothecalculationofherparents,andbutseldominaccordancewiththefreewillofherheart。Andnowsheherselfisabouttomarrymerelybecauseitwastime,andalsobecauseherfatherneededason-in-lawtosucceedhiminhisbusiness。Andherfatherevidentlythoughtthatshe,byherself,washardlycapableofattractingtheattentionofaman,andthereforeadornedherwithsilver。Agitated,sheworkednervously,prickedherfingers,brokeneedles,butmaintainedsilence,beingawarethatwhateversheshouldsaywouldnotreachherfather'sheart。
Andtheoldmankeptonpacingtheroomtoandfro,nowhummingpsalmssoftly,nowimpressivelyinstructinghisdaughterhowtobehavewiththebridegroom。Andthenhealsocountedsomethingonhisfingers,frownedandsmiled。
"Mm!So!Tryme,0hLord,andjudgeme。Fromtheunjustandthefalseman,deliverme。Yes!Putonyourmother'semeralds,Lubov。"
"Enough,papa!"exclaimedthegirl,sadly。"Pray,leavethatalone。"
"Don'tyoukick!ListentowhatI'mtellingyou。"
Andhewasagainabsorbedinhiscalculations,snappinghisgreeneyesandplayingwithhisfingersinfrontofhisface。
"Thatmakesthirty-fivepercent。Mm!Thefellow'sarogue。Senddownthylightandthytruth。"
"Papa!"exclaimedLubov,mournfullyandwithfright。
"What?"
"You——areyoupleasedwithhim?"
"Withwhom?
"Smolin。"
"Smolin?Yes,he'sarogue,he'sacleverfellow,asplendidmerchant!Well,I'moffnow。Sobeonyourguard,armyourself。"
WhenLubovremainedalonesheflungherworkasideandleanedagainstthebackofherchair,closinghereyestightly。Herhandsfirmlyclaspedtogetherlayonherknees,andtheirfingerstwitched。Filledwiththebitternessofoffendedvanity,shefeltanalarmingfearofthefuture,andprayedinsilence:
"MyGod!0hLord!Ifhewereonlyakindman!Makehimkind,sincere。0hLord!Astrangemancomes,examinesyou,andtakesyouuntohimselfforyears,ifyoupleasehim!Howdisgracefulthatis,howterrible。0hLord,myGod!IfIcouldonlyrunaway!
IfIonlyhadsomeonetoadvisemewhattodo!Whoishe?HowcanIlearntoknowhim?Icannotdoanything!AndIhavethought,ah,howmuchIhavethought!Ihaveread。TowhatpurposehaveI
read?WhyshouldIknowthatitispossibletoliveotherwise,soasIcannotlive?Anditmaybethatwereitnotforthebooksmylifewouldbeeasier,simpler。Howpainfulallthisis!Whatawretched,unfortunatebeingIam!Alone。IfTarasatleastwerehere。"
Attherecollectionofherbrothershefeltstillmoregrieved,stillmoresorryforherself。ShehadwrittentoTarasalong,exultantletter,inwhichshehadspokenofherloveforhim,ofherhopeinhim;imploringherbrothertocomeassoonaspossibletoseehisfather,shehadpicturedtohimplansofarrangingtolivetogether,assuringTarasthattheirfatherwasextremelycleverandunderstoodeverything;shetoldabouthisloneliness,hadgoneintoecstasyoverhisaptitudeforlifeandhad,atthesametime,complainedofhisattitudetowardher。
Fortwoweekssheimpatientlyexpectedareply,andwhenshehadreceivedandreaditsheburstoutsobbingforjoyanddisenchantment。Theanswerwasdryandshort;initTarassaidthatwithinamonthhewouldbeontheVolgaonbusinessandwouldnotfailtocallonhisfather,iftheoldmanreallyhadnoobjectiontoit。Theletterwascold,likeablockofice;
withtearsinhereyessheperuseditoverandoveragain,rumpledit,creasedit,butitdidnotturnwarmeronthisaccount,itonlybecamewet。Fromthesheetofstiffnotepaperwhichwascoveredwithwritinginalarge,firmhand,awrinkledandsuspiciouslyfrowningface,thinandangularlikethatofherfather,seemedtolookather。
OnYakovTarasovichtheletterofhissonmadeadifferentimpression。OnlearningthecontentsofTaras'sreplytheoldmanstartedandhastilyturnedtohisdaughterwithanimationandwithapeculiarsmile:
"Well,letmeseeit!Showittome!He-he!Let'sreadhowwisemenwrite。Wherearemyspectacles?Mm!'Dearsister!'Yes。"
Theoldmanbecamesilent;hereadtohimselfthemessageofhisson,putitonthetable,and,raisinghiseyebrows,silentlypacedtheroomtoandfro,withanexpressionofamazementonhiscountenance。Thenhereadtheletteroncemore,thoughtfullytappedthetablewithhisfingersandspoke:
"Thatletterisn'tbad——itissound,withoutanyunnecessarywords。Well?Perhapsthemanhasreallygrownhardenedinthecold。Thecoldisseverethere。Lethimcome,we'lltakealookathim。It'sinteresting。Yes。InthepsalmofDavidconcerningthemysteriesofhissonitissaid:'WhenThouhastreturnedmyenemy'——I'veforgottenhowitreadsfurther。'Myenemy'sweaponshaveweakenedintheend,andhismemoryhathperishedamidnoise。Well,we'lltalkitoverwithhimwithoutnoise。
Theoldmantriedtospeakcalmlyandwithacontemptuoussmile,butthesmiledidnotcome;hiswrinklesquiveredirritably,andhissmalleyeshadaparticularlyclearbrilliancy。
"Writetohimagain,Lubovka。'Comealong!'writehim,'don'tbeafraidtocome!'"
LubovwroteTarasanotherletter,butthistimeitwasshorterandmorereserved,andnowsheawaitedareplyfromdaytoday,attemptingtopicturetoherselfwhatsortofmanhemustbe,thismysteriousbrotherofhers。Beforesheusedtothinkofhimwithsinkingheart,withthatsolemnrespectwithwhichbelieversthinkofmartyrs,menofuprightlife;nowshefearedhim,forhehadacquiredtherighttobejudgeovermenandlifeatthepriceofpainfulsufferings,atthecostofhisyouth,whichwasruinedinexile。Oncoming,hewouldaskher:
"Youaremarryingofyourownfreewill,forlove,areyounot?"
Whatshouldshetellhim?Wouldheforgiveherfaint-heartedness?
Andwhydoesshemarry?Canitreallybepossiblethatthisisallshecandoinordertochangeherlife?
Gloomythoughtsspranguponeafteranotherintheheadofthegirlandconfusedandtorturedher,impotentasshewastosetupagainstthemsomedefinite,all-conqueringdesire。Thoughshewasinananxiousandcompressingherlips。Smolinrosefromhischair,madeasteptowardherandbowedrespectfully。Shewasratherpleasedwiththislowandpolitebow,alsowiththecostlyfrockcoat,whichfittedSmolin'ssupplefiguresplendidly。Hehadchangedbutslightly——hewasthesamered-headed,closely-
cropped,freckledyouth;onlyhismoustachehadbecomelong,andhiseyesseemedtohavegrownlarger。
"Nowhe'schanged,eh?"exclaimedMayakintohisdaughter,pointingatthebridegroom。AndSmolinshookhandswithher,andsmiling,saidinaringingbaritonevoice:
"Iventuretohopethatyouhavenotforgottenyouroldfriend?"
It'sallright!Youcantalkofthislater,"saidtheoldman,scanninghisdaughterwithhiseyes。
"Lubova,youcanmakeyourarrangementshere,whilewefinishourlittleconversation。Wellthen,AfricanMitrich,explainyourself。"
"Youwillpardonme,LubovYakovlevna,won'tyou?"askedSmolin,gently。
"Praydonotstanduponceremony,"saidLubov。"He'spoliteandclever,"sheremarkedtoherself;and,asshewalkedaboutintheroomfromthetabletothesideboard,shebegantolistenattentivelytoSmolin'swords。Hespokesoftly,confidently,withasimplicity,inwhichwasfeltcondescendencetowardtheinterlocutor。"Wellthen,forfouryearsIhavecarefullystudiedtheconditionofRussianleatherinforeignmarkets。It'sasadandhorridcondition!Aboutthirtyyearsagoourleatherwasconsideredthereasthestandard,whilenowthedemandforitisconstantlyfallingoff,and,ofcourse,thepricegoeshandinhandwithit。Andthatisperfectlynatural。Lackingthecapitalandknowledgeallthesesmallleatherproducersarenotabletoraisetheirproducttotheproperstandard,and,atthesametime,toreducetheprice。Theirgoodsareextremelybadanddear。AndtheyarealltoblameforhavingspoiledRussia'sreputationasmanufacturerofthebestleather。Ingeneral,thepettyproducer,lackingthetechnicalknowledgeandcapital,isconsequentlyplacedinapositionwhereheisunabletoimprovehisproductsinproportiontothedevelopmentofthetechnicalside。Suchaproducerisamisfortuneforthecountry,theparasiteofhercommerce。"
"Hm!"bellowedtheoldman,lookingathisguestwithoneeye,andwatchinghisdaughterwiththeother。"Sothatnowyourintentionistobuildsuchagreatfactorythatalltheotherswillgotothedogs?"