Jacobmusthaveleakedsomeofhisbenevolentintentions，foranimmensepersonwithabaldfaceandamouththatlookedasifitoughttohavea“DropLettersHere“signoverithookedafingeraroundhimandsethiminaspacebetweenabarber”spoleandastackofashcans。Wordscameoutofthepost-officeslit——smooth，huskywordswithgloveson”em，butsoundingasiftheymightturntobareknucklesanymoment。
“Say，Sport，doyouknowwhereyouareat？Well，disisMikeO”Grady”sdistrictyou”rebuttin”into——see？Mike”sgotdestomach-
acheprivilegeforeverykidindisneighborhood——see？Andifdere”sanypicnicsorredballoonstobedealtouthere，Mike”smoneypaysfor”em——see？Don”tyoubuttin，orsomething”llbehandedtoyou。Yoused——settlersandreformerswithyoursocialologiesandyourmillionairedetectiveshavegotdisdistrictinahellofafix，anyhow。Withyourcollegestudentsandprofessorsrough-housingdesoda-waterstandsanddemrubber-neckcoachesfillin”destreets，defolksdownhereare”fraidtogooutofdehouses。Now，youleave”emtoMike。Deybelongstohim，andheknowshowtohandle”em。Keeponyourownsideofdetown。Areyousomewisernow，uncle，ordoyouwanttoscrapwit”MikeO”GradyfordeSantaClausbeltindisdistrict？“
Clearly，thatspotinthemoralvineyardwaspreempted。SoCaliphSpragginsmenacednomorethepeopleinthebazaarsoftheEastSide。Tokeepdownhisgrowingsurplushedoubledhisdonationstoorganizedcharity，presentedtheY。M。C。A。ofhisnativetownwitha$10，000collectionofbutterflies，andsentachecktothefaminesufferersinChinabigenoughtobuynewemeraldeyesanddiamond-filledteethforalltheirgods。Butnoneofthesecharitableactsseemedtobringpeacetothecaliph”sheart。Hetriedtogetapersonalnoteintohisbenefactionsbytippingbellboysandwaiters$10and$20bills。Hegotwellsnickeredatandderidedforthatbytheminionswhoacceptwithrespectgratuitiescommensuratetotheserviceperformed。Hesoughtoutanambitiousandtalentedbutpooryoungwoman，andboughtforherthestarpartinanewcomedy。Hemighthavegottenridof$50，000moreofhiscumbersomemoneyinthisphilanthropyifhehadnotneglectedtowriteletterstoher。Butshelostthesuitforlackofevidence，whilehiscapitalstillkeptpilingup，andhis_optikosneedleorumcamelibus_——orrichman”sdisease——wasunrelieved。
InCaliphSpraggins”s$3，000，000homelivedhissisterHenrietta，whousedtocookforthecoalminersinatwenty-five-centeatinghouseinCoketown，Pa。，andwhonowwouldhaveofferedJohnMitchellonlytwofingersofherhandtoshake。AndhisdaughterCelia，nineteen，backfromboarding-schoolandfrombeingpolishedoffbyprivateinstructorsintherestaurantlanguagesandthose”etudesandthings。
Celiaistheheroine。Lesttheartist”sdelineationofhercharmsonthisverypagehumbugyourfancy，takefrommeherauthorizeddescription。Shewasanice-looking，awkward，loud，ratherbashful，brown-hairedgirl，withasallowcomplexion，brighteyes，andaperpetualsmile。Shehadawholesome，Spraggins-inheritedloveforplainfood，looseclothing，andthesocietyofthelowerclasses。Shehadtoomuchhealthandyouthtofeeltheburdenofwealth。Shehadawidemouththatkeptthepeppermint-pepsintabletsrattlinglikehailfromtheslot-machinewherevershewent，andshecouldwhistlehornpipes。Keepthispictureinmind；andlettheartistdohisworst。
Celialookedoutofherwindowonedayandgaveherhearttothegrocer”syoungman。Thereceiverthereofwasatthatmomentengagedinconcedingimmortalitytohishorseandcallingdownuponhimtheultimatefateofthewicked；sohedidnotnoticethetransfer。Ahorseshouldstandstillwhenyouareliftingacrateofstrictlynew-laideggsoutofthewagon。
Youngladyreader，youwouldhavelikedthatgrocer”syoungmanyourself。Butyouwouldn”thavegivenhimyourheart，becauseyouaresavingitforariding-master，orashoe-manufacturerwithatorpidliver，orsomethingquietbutrichingraytweedsatPalmBeach。Oh，Iknowaboutit。SoIamgladthegrocer”syoungmanwasforCelia，andnotforyou。
Thegrocer”syoungmanwasslimandstraightandasconfidentandeasyinhismovementsasthemaninthebackofthemagazineswhowearsthenewfrictionlessrollersuspenders。Heworeagraybicyclecaponthebackofhishead，andhishairwasstraw-coloredandcurly，andhissunburnedfacelookedlikeonethatsmiledagooddealwhenhewasnotpreachingthedoctrineofeverlastingpunishmenttodelivery-wagonhorses。HeslungimportedA1fancygroceriesaboutasthoughtheywereonlythestuffhedeliveredatboarding-houses；andwhenhepickeduphiswhip，yourmindinstantlyrecalledMr。Tackttandhisairwiththebuttonlessfoils。
Tradesmendeliveredtheirgoodsatasidegateattherearofthehouse。Thegrocer”swagoncameaboutteninthemorning。
ForthreedaysCeliawatchedthedriverwhenhecame，findingsomethingneweachtimetoadmireintheloftyandalmostcontemptuouswayhehadoftossingaroundthechoicestgiftsofPomona，Ceres，andthecanningfactories。ThensheconsultedAnnette。
Tobeexplicit，AnnetteMcCorkle，thesecondhousemaidwhodeservesaparagraphherself。AnnetteFletcherizedlargenumbersofromanticnovelswhichsheobtainedatafreepubliclibrarybranchdonatedbyoneofthebiggestcaliphsinthebusiness。
ShewasCelia”ssidekickerandchum，thoughAuntHenriettadidn”tknowit，youmayhazardabeanortwo。
“Oh，canary-birdseed！“exclaimedAnnette。“Ain”titacorkin”
situation？Youaheiress，andfallin”inlovewithhimonsight！
He”sasweetboy，too，andabovehisbusiness。Butheain”tsusceptiblelikethecommonrunofgrocer”sassistants。Heneverpaysnoattentiontome。”
“Hewilltome，“saidCelia。
“Riches”beganAnnette，unsheathingthenotunjustifiablefemininesting。
“Oh，you”renotsobeautiful，“saidCelia，withherwide，disarmingsmile。“NeitheramI；buthesha”n”tknowthatthere”sanymoneymixedupwithmylooks，suchastheyare。That”sfair。Now，I
wantyoutolendmeoneofyourcapsandanapron，Annette。”
“Oh，marshmallows！“criedAnnette。“Isee。Ain”titlovely？It”sjustlike”Lurline，theLeft-Handed；or，AButtonholeMaker”sWrongs。”I”llbethe”llturnouttobeacount。”
Therewasalonghallwayor“passageway，“astheycallitinthelandoftheColonelswithonesidelatticed，runningalongtherearofthehouse。Thegrocer”syoungmanwentthroughthistodeliverhisgoods。Onemorninghepassedagirlintherewithshiningeyes，sallowcomplexion，andwide，smilingmouth，wearingamaid”scapandapron。ButashewascumberedwithabasketofEarlyDrumheadlettuceandTrophytomatoesandthreebunchesofasparagusandsixbottlesofthemostexpensiveQueenolives，hesawnomorethanthatshewasoneofthemaids。
Butonhiswayouthecameupbehindher，andshewaswhistling“Fisher”sHornpipe“soloudlyandclearlythatallthepiccolosintheworldshouldhavedisjointedthemselvesandcreptintotheircasesforshame。
Thegrocer”syoungmanstoppedandpushedbackhiscapuntilithungonhiscollarbuttonbehind。
“That”souto”sight，Kid，“saidhe。
“MynameisCelia，ifyouplease，“saidthewhistler，dazzlinghimwithathree-inchsmile。
That”sallright。I”mThomasMcLeod。Whatpartofthehousedoyouworkin？“
“I”mthe——thesecondparlormaid。”
“Doyouknowthe”FallingWaters”？“
“No，“saidCelia，“wedon”tknowanybody。Wegotrichtooquick——thatis，Mr。Spragginsdid。”
“I”llmakeyouacquainted，“saidThomasMcLeod。“It”sastrathspey——
thefirstcousintoahornpipe。”
IfCelia”swhistlingputthepiccolosoutofcommission，ThomasMcLeod”ssurelymadethebiggestfluteshunttheirholes。Hecouldactuallywhistle_bass_。
WhenhestoppedCeliawasreadytojumpintohisdeliverywagonandridewithhimcleartotheendofthepierandontotheferry-
boatoftheCharonline。
“I”llbearoundto-morrowat10：15，“saidThomas，“withsomespinachandacaseofcarbonic。”
“I”llpracticethatwhat-you-may-call-it，“saidCelia。“Icanwhistleafinesecond。”
Theprocessesofcourtshiparepersonal，anddonotbelongtogeneralliterature。Theyshouldbechronicledindetailonlyinadvertisementsofirontonicsandinthesecretby-lawsoftheWoman”sAuxiliaryoftheAncientOrderoftheRatTrap。ButgenteelwritingmaycontainadescriptionofcertainstagesofitsprogresswithoutintrudingupontheprovinceoftheX-rayorofparkpolicemen。
AdaycamewhenThomasMcLeodandCelialingeredattheendofthelatticed“passage。”
“Sixteenaweekisn”tmuch，“saidThomas，lettinghiscaprestonhisshoulderblades。
Celialookedthroughthelattice-workandwhistledadeadmarch。
ShoppingwithAuntHenriettathedaybefore，shehadpaidthatmuchforadozenhandkerchiefs。
“MaybeI”llgetaraisenextmonth，“saidThomas。“I”llbearoundto-morrowatthesametimewithabagofflourandthelaundrysoap。”
“Allright，“saidCelia。“Annette”smarriedcousinpaysonly$20amonthforaflatintheBronx。”
NeverforamomentdidshecountontheSpragginsmoney。SheknewAuntHenrietta”sinvincibleprideofcasteandpa”smightinessasaColossusofcash，andsheunderstoodthatifshechoseThomassheandhergrocer”syoungmanmightgowhistleforaliving。
Anotherdaycame，ThomasviolatingthedignityofNabobAvenuewith“TheDevil”sDream，“whistledkeenlybetweenhisteeth。
“Raisedtoeighteenaweekyesterday，“hesaid。“BeenpricingflatsaroundMorningside。Youwanttostartuntyingthoseapronstringsandunpinningthatcap，oldgirl。”
“Oh，Tommy！“saidCelia，withherbroadestsmile。“Won”tthatbeenough？IgotBettytoshowmehowtomakeacottagepudding。I
guesswecouldcallitaflatpuddingifwewantedto。”
“Andtellnolie，“saidThomas。
“AndIcansweepandpolishanddust——ofcourse，aparlormaidlearnsthat。Andwecoldwhistleduetsofevenings。”
“Theoldmansaidhe”draisemetotwentyatChristmasifBryancouldn”tthinkofanyhardernametocallaRepublicanthana”postponer”“saidthegrocer”syoungman。
“Icansew，“saidCelia；“andIknowthatyoumustmakethegascompany”smanshowhisbadgewhenhecomestolookatthemeter；
andIknowhowtoputupquincejamandwindowcurtains。”
“Bully！you”reallright，Cele。Yes，Ibelievewecanpullitoffoneighteen。”
Ashewasjumpingintothewagonthesecondparlormaidbraveddiscoverybyrunningswiftlytothegate。
“And，oh，Tommy，Iforgot，“shecalled，softly。“IbelieveIcouldmakeyourneckties。”
“Forgetit，“saidThomasdecisively。
“Andanotherthing，“shecontinued。“Slicedcucumbersatnightwilldriveawaycockroaches。”
“Andsleep，too，youbet，“saidMr。McLeod。“Yes，IbelieveifI
haveadeliverytomakeontheWestSidethisafternoonI”lllookinatafurniturestoreIknowoverthere。”
ItwasjustasthewagondashedawaythatoldJacobSpragginsstruckthesideboardwithhisfistandmadethemysteriousremarkabouttenthousanddollarsthatyouperhapsremember。Whichjustifiesthereflectionthatsomestories，aswellaslife，andpuppiesthrownintowells，movearoundincircles。PainfullybutbrieflywemustshedlightonJacob”swords。
Thefoundationofhisfortunewasmadewhenhewastwenty。Apoorcoal-diggereverhearofarichone？hadsavedadollarortwoandboughtasmalltractoflandonahillsideonwhichhetriedtoraisecorn。Notanubbin。Jacob，whosenosewasadivining-rod，toldhimtherewasaveinofcoalbeneath。heboughtthelandfromtheminerfor$125andsolditamonthafterwardfor$10，000。
Luckilytheminerhadenoughleftofhissalemoneytodrinkhimselfintoablackcoatopeningintheback，assoonasheheardthenews。
Andso，forfortyyearsafterward，wefindJacobilluminatedwiththesuddenthoughtthatifhecouldmakerestitutionofthissumofmoneytotheheirsorassignsoftheunluckyminer，respiteandNepenthemightbehis。
Andnowmustcomeswiftaction，forwehaveheresomefourthousandwordsandnotatearshedandneverapistol，joke，safe，norbottlecracked。
OldJacobhiredadozenprivatedetectivestofindtheheirs，ifanyexisted，oftheoldminer，HughMcLeod。
Getthepoint？OfcourseIknowaswellasyoudothatThomasisgoingtobetheheir。Imighthaveconcealedthename；butwhyalwaysholdbackyoumysterytilltheend？Isay，letitcomenearthemiddlesopeoplecanstopreadingthereiftheywantto。
Afterthedetectiveshadtrailedfalsecluesaboutthreethousanddollars——Imeanmiles——theycorneredThomasatthegroceryandgothisconfessionthatHughMcLeodhadbeenhisgrandfather，andthattherewerenootherheirs。TheyarrangedameetingforhimandoldJacobonemorninginoneoftheiroffices。
Jacoblikedtheyoungmanverymuch。Helikedthewayhelookedstraightathimwhenhetalked，andthewayhethrewhisbicyclecapoverthetopofarose-coloredvaseonthecentre-table。
TherewasaslightflawinJacob”ssystemofrestitution。Hedidnotconsiderthattheact，tobeperfect，shouldincludeconfession。
Soherepresentedhimselftobetheagentofthepurchaserofthelandwhohadsenthimtorefundthesalepricefortheeaseofhisconscience。
“Well，sir，“saidThomas，“thissoundstomelikeanillustratedpost-cardfromSouthBostonwith”We”rehavingagoodtimehere”
writtenonit。Idon”tknowthegame。Isthistenthousanddollarsmoney，ordoIhavetosavesomanycouponstogetit？“
OldJacobcountedouttohimtwentyfive-hundred-dollarbills。
Thatwasbetter，hethought，thanacheck。Thomasputthemthoughtfullyintohispocket。
“Grandfather”sbestthanks，“hesaid，“tothepartywhosendsit。”
Jacobtalkedon，askinghimabouthiswork，howhespenthisleisuretime，andwhathisambitionswere。ThemorehesawandheardofThomas，thebetterhelikedhim。HehadnotmetmanyyoungmeninBagdadsofrankandwholesome。
“Iwouldliketohaveyouvisitmyhouse，“hesaid。“Imighthelpyouininvestingorlayingoutyourmoney。Iamaverywealthyman。Ihaveadaughteraboutgrown，andIwouldlikeforyoutoknowher。TherearenotmanyyoungmenIwouldcaretohavecallonher。”
“I”mobliged，“saidThomas。“I”mnotmuchatmakingcalls。It”sgenerallythesideentranceformine。And，besides，I”mengagedtoagirlthathastheDelawarepeachcropkilledintheblossom。
She”saparlormaidinahousewhereIdelivergoods。Shewon”tbeworkingtheremuchlonger，though。Say，don”tforgettogiveyourfriendmygrandfather”sbestregards。You”llexcusemenow；mywagon”soutsidewithalotofgreenstuffthat”sgottobedelivered。
Seeyouagain，sir。”
AtelevenThomasdeliveredsomebunchesofparsleyandlettuceattheSpragginsmansion。Thomaswasonlytwenty-two；so，ashecameback，hetookoutthehandfuloffive-hundred-dollarbillsandwavedthemcarelessly。Annettetookapairofeyesasbigascreamedoniontothecook。
“Itoldyouhewasacount，“shesaid，afterrelating。“Heneverwouldcarryonwithme。”
“Butyousayheshowedmoney，“saidthecook。
“Hundredsofthousands，“saidAnnette。“Carriedaroundlooseinhispockets。Andheneverwouldlookatme。”
“Itwaspaidtometo-day，“ThomaswasexplainingtoCeliaoutside。
“Itcamefrommygrandfather”sestate。Say，Cele，what”stheuseofwaitingnow？I”mgoingtoquitthejobto-night。Whycan”twegetmarriednextweek？“
“Tommy，“saidCelia。“I”mnoparlormaid。I”vebeenfoolingyou。
I”mMissSpraggins——CeliaSpraggins。ThenewspaperssayI”llbeworthfortymilliondollarssomeday。”
Thomaspulledhiscapdownstraightonhisheadforthefirsttimesincewehaveknownhim。
“Isupposethen，“saidhe，“Isupposethenyou”llnotbemarryingmenextweek。Butyou_can_whistle。”
“No，“saidCelia，“I”llnotbemarryingyounextweek。Myfatherwouldneverletmemarryagrocer”sclerk。ButI”llmarryyouto-night，Tommy，ifyousayso。”
OldJacobSpragginscamehomeat9：30P。M。，inhismotorcar。
Themakeofityouwillhavetosurmisesorrowfully；Iamgivingyouunsubsidizedfiction；haditbeenastreetcarIcouldhavetoldyouitsvoltageandthenumberofwheelsithad。Jacobcalledforhisdaughter；hehadboughtarubynecklaceforher，andwantedtohearhersaywhatakind，thoughtful，dearolddadhewas。
Therewasabriefsearchinthehouseforher，andthencameAnnette，glowingwiththepureflameoftruthandloyaltywellmixedwithenvyandhistrionics。
“Oh，sir，“saidshe，wonderingifsheshouldkneel，“MissCelia”sjustthisminuterunningawayoutofthesidegatewithayoungmantobemarried。Icouldn”tstopher，sir。Theywentinacab。”
“Whatyoungman？“roaredoldJacob。
“Amillionaire，ifyouplease，sir——arichnoblemanindisguise。Hecarrieshismoneywithhim，andtheredpeppersandtheonionswasonlytoblindus，sir。Heneverdidseemtotaketome。”
Jacobrushedoutintimetocatchhiscar。Thechauffeurhadbeendelayedbytryingtolightacigaretteinthewind。
“Here，Gaston，orMike，orwhateveryoucallyourself，scootaroundthecornerquickerthanblazesandseeifyoucanseeacab。Ifyoudo，runitdown。”
Therewasacabinsightablockaway。Gaston，orMike，withhiseyeshalfshutandhismindonhiscigarette，pickedupthetrail，neatlycrowdedthecabtothecurbandpocketedit。
“Whatt”ellyoudoin”？“yelledthecabman。
“Pa！“shriekedCelia。
“Grandfather”sremorsefulfriend”sagent！“saidThomas。“Wonderwhat”sonhisconsciencenow。”
“Athousandthunders，“saidGaston，orMike。“Ihavenoothermatch。”
“Youngman，“saidoldJacob，severely，“howaboutthatparlormaidyouwereengagedto？“
AcoupleofyearsafterwardoldJacobwentintotheofficeofhisprivatesecretary。
“TheAmalgamatedMissionarySocietysolicitsacontributionof$30，000towardtheconversionoftheKoreans，“saidthesecretary。
“Pass”emup，“saidJacob。
“TheUniversityofPlumvillewritesthatitsyearlyendowmentfundof$50，000thatyoubestoweduponitispastdue。”
“Tell”emit”sbeencutout。”
“TheScientificSocietyofClamCove，LongIsland，asksfor$10，000tobuyalcoholtopreservespecimens。”
“Wastebasket。”
“TheSocietyforProvidingHealthfulRecreationforWorkingGirlswants$20，000fromyoutolayoutagolfcourse。”
“Tell”emtoseeanundertaker。”
“Cut”emallout，“wentonJacob。“I”vequitbeingagoodthing。I
needeverydollarIcanscrapeorsave。IwantyoutowritetothedirectorsofeverycompanythatI”minterestedinandrecommenda10percent。cutinsalaries。Andsay——InoticedhalfacakeofsoaplyinginacornerofthehallasIcamein。Iwantyoutospeaktothescrubwomanaboutwaste。I”vegotnomoneytothrowaway。Andsay——we”vegotvinegarprettywellinhand，haven”twe？”
“TheGlobeSpice&SeasonsCompany，“saidsecretary，“controlsthemarketatpresent。”
“Raisevinegartwocentsagallon。Notifyallourbranches。”
SuddenlyJacobSpraggin”splumpredfacerelaxedintoapulpygrin。Hewalkedovertothesecretary”sdeskandshowedasmallredmarkonhisthickforefinger。
“Bitit，“hesaid，“darnedifhedidn”t，andheain”thadthetooththreeweeks——JakyMcLeod，myCelia”skid。He”llbeworthahundredmillionsbythetimehe”stwenty-oneifIcanpileitupforhim。”
Ashewasleaving，oldJacobturnedatthedoor，andsaid：
“Bettermakethatvinegarraisethreecentsinsteadoftwo。I”llbebackinanhourandsigntheletters。”
ThetruehistoryoftheCaliphHarunAlRashidrelatesthattowardtheendofhisreignheweariedofphilanthropy，andcausedtobebeheadedallhisformerfavoritesandcompanionsofhis“ArabianNights“rambles。Happyareweinthesedaysofenlightenment，whentheonlydeathwarrantthecaliphscanserveonusisintheformofatradesman”sbill。
XVIII
THEGIRLANDTHEHABIT
HABIT——atendencyoraptitudeacquiredbycustomorfrequentrepitition。
Thecriticshaveassailedeverysourceofinspirationsaveone。
Tothatonewearedrivenforourmoraltheme。Whenwelevieduponthemastersofoldtheygleefullyduguptheparallelstoourcolumns。WhenwestrovetosetforthreallifetheyreproachedusfortryingtoimitateHenryGeorge，GeorgeWashington，WashingtonIrving，andIrvingBacheller。WewroteoftheWestandtheEast，andtheyaccusedusofbothJesseandHenryJames。Wewrotefromourheart——andtheysaidsomethingaboutadisorderedliver。WetookatextfromMatthewor——er-yes，Deuteronomy，butthepreacherswerehammeringawayattheinspirationideabeforewecouldgetintotype。So，driventothewall，wegoforoursubject-mattertothereliable，old，moral，unassailablevademecum——theunabridgeddictionary。
MissMerriamwascashieratHinkle”s。Hinkle”sisoneofthebigdowntownrestaurants。Itisinwhatthepaperscallthe“financialdistrict。”Eachdayfrom12o”clockto2Hinkle”swasfullofhungrycustomers——messengerboys，stenographers，brokers，ownersofminingstock，promoters，inventorswithpatentspending——andalsopeoplewithmoney。
ThecashiershipatHinkle”swasnosinecure。Hinkleeggedandtoastedandgriddle-cakedandcoffeedagoodmanycustomers；andhelunchedasgoodawordas“dined“manymore。ItmightbesaidthatHinkle”sbreakfastcrowdwasacontingent，buthisluncheonpatronageamountedtoahorde。
MissMerriamsatonastoolatadeskinclosedonthreesidesbyastrong，highfencingofwovenbrasswire。Throughanarchedopeningatthebottomyouthrustyourwaiter”scheckandthemoney，whileyourheartwentpit-pat。
ForMissMerriamwaslovelyandcapable。Shecouldtake45centsoutofa$2billandrefuseanofferofmarriagebeforeyoucould——Next！——lostyourchance——pleasedon”tshove。Shecouldkeepcoolandcollectedwhileshecollectedyourcheck，giveyouthecorrectchange，winyourheart，indicatethetoothpickstand，andrateyoutoaquarterofacentbetterthanBradstreetcouldtoathousandinlesstimethanittakestopepperaneggwithoneofHinkle”scasters。
Thereisanoldanddignifiedallusiontothe“fiercelightthatbeatsuponathrone。”Thelightthatbeatsupontheyoungladycashier”scageisalsosomethingfierce。Theotherfellowisresponsiblefortheslang。
EverymalepatronofHinkle”s，fromA。D。T。boysuptothecurbstonebrokers，adoredMissMerriam。WhentheypaidtheircheckstheywooedherwitheverywileknowntoCupid”sart。
Betweenthemeshesofthebrassrailingwentsmiles，winks，compliments，tendervows，invitationstodinner，sighs，languishinglooksandmerrybanterthatwaswaftedpointedlybackbythegiftedMissMerriam。
Thereisnocoignofvantagemoreeffectivethanthepositionofyoungladycashier。Shesitsthere，easilyqueenofthecourtofcommerce；sheisduchessofdollarsanddevoirs，countessofcompliment；andcoin，leadingladyofloveandluncheon。YoutakefromherasmileandaCanadiandime，andyougoyourwayuncomplaining。Youcountthecheerywordortwothatshetossesyouasmiserscounttheirtreasures；andyoupocketthechangeforafiveuncomputed。Perhapsthebrass-boundinaccessibilitymultiplieshercharms——anyhow，sheisashirt-waistedangel，immaculate，trim，manicured，seductive，bright-eyed，ready，alert——
Psyche，Circe，andAteinone，separatingyoufromyourcirculatingmediumafteryoursirloinmedium。
TheyoungmenwhobrokebreadatHinkle”sneversettledwiththecashierwithoutanexchangeofbadinageandopencompliment。
Manyofthemwenttogreaterlengthsanddroppedpromissoryhintsoftheatreticketsandchocolate。Theolderspokeplainlyoforangeblossoms，generallywitheringthetentativepetalsbyafter-allusionstoHarlemflats。Onebroker，whohadbeensqueezedbycopperproposedtoMissMerriammoreregularlythanheate。
DuringabriskluncheonhourMissMerriam”sconversation，whileshetookmoneyforchecks，wouldrunsomethinglikethis：
“Goodmorning，Mr。Haskins——sir？——it”snatural，thankyou——don”tbequitesofresh……Hello，Johnny——ten，fifteen，twenty——chasealongnoworthey”lltakethelettersoffyourcap……Begpardon——countitagain，please——Oh，don”tmentionit……Vaudeville？——thanks；notonyourmovingpicture——IwastoseeCarterinHeddaGableronWednesdaynightwithMr。Simmons……”Scuseme，Ithoughtthatwasaquarter……Twenty-fiveandseventy-five”sadollar——gotthatham-and-cabbagehabityet。Isee，Billy……Whoareyouaddressing？——
say——you”llgetallthat”scomingtoyouinaminute……
Oh，fudge！Mr。Bassett——you”realwaysfooling——no——？Well，maybeI”llmarryyousomeday——three，fourandsixty-fiveisfive……
Kindlykeepthemremarkstoyourself，ifyouplease……Tencents？——”scuseme；thecheckcallsforseventy——well，maybeitisaoneinsteadofaseven……Oh，doyoulikeitthatway，Mr。Saunders？——
somepreferapomp；buttheysaythisCleodeMerodydoessuitrefinedfeatures……andtenisfifty……Hikealongthere，buddy；
don”ttakethisforaConeyIslandticketbooth……Huh？——why，Macy”s——don”titfitnice？Oh，no，itisn”ttoocool——theselight-
weightfabricsisallthegothisseason……Comeagain，please——
that”sthethirdtimeyou”vetriedto——what？——forgetit——thatleadquarterisanoldfriendofmine……Sixty-five？——musthavehadyoursalaryraised，Mr。Wilson……IseenyouonSixthAvenueTuesdayafternoon，Mr。DeForest——swell？——oh，my！——whoisshe？……
What”sthematterwithit？——why，thisain”tSouthAmerica……Yes，Ilikethemixedbest——Friday？——awfullysorry，butItakemyjiu-
jitsulessononFriday——Thursday，then……Thanks——that”ssixteentimesI”vebeentoldthatthismorning——IguessImustbebeautiful……Cutthatout，please——whodoyouthinkIam？……
Why，Mr。Westbrook——doyoureallythinkso？——theidea！——one——eightyandtwenty”sadollar——thankyoueversomuch，butIdon”tevergoautomobileridingwithgentlemen——youraunt？——well，that”sdifferent——perhaps……Pleasedon”tgetfresh——yourcheckwasfifteencents，Ibelieve——kindlystepasideandlet……Hello，Ben——comingaroundThursdayevening？——there”sagentlemangoingtosendaroundaboxofchocolates，and……fortyandsixtyisadollar，andoneistwo……”
AboutthemiddleofoneafternoonthedizzygoddessVertigo——whoseothernameisFortune——suddenlysmoteanold，wealthyandeccentricbankerwhilehewaswalkingpastHinkle”s，onhiswaytoastreetcar。Awealthyandeccentricbankerwhoridesinstreetcarsis——moveup，please；thereareothers。
ASamaritan，APharisee，amanandapolicemanwhowerefirstonthespotlifterBankerMcRamseyandcarriedhimintoHinkle”srestaurant。Whentheagedbutindestructiblebankeropenedhiseyeshesawabeautikfulvisionbendingoverhimwithapitiful，tendersmile，bathinghisforeheadwithbeefteaandchafinghishandswithsomethingfrapp”eoutofachafing-dish。Mr。McRamseysighed，lostavestbutton，gazedwithdeepgratitudeuponhisfairpreserveress，andthenrecoveredconsciousness。
TotheSeasideLibraryallwhoareanticipatingaromance！BankerMcRamseyhadanagedandrespectedwife，andhissentimentstowardMissMerriamwerefatherly。Hetalkedtoherforhalfanhourwithinterest——notthekindthatwentwithhistalksduringbusinesshours。ThenextdayhebroughtMrs。McRamseydowntoseeher。Theoldcouplewerechildless——theyhadonlyamarrieddaughterlivinginBrooklyn。
Tomakeashortstoryshorter，thebeautifulcashierwontheheartsofthegoodoldcouple。TheycametoHinkle”sagainandagain；
theyinvitedhertotheirold-fashionedbutsplendidhomeinoneoftheEastSeventies。MissMerriam”swinningloveliness，hersweetfranknessandimpulsivehearttookthembystorm。TheysaidahundredtimesthatMissMerriamremindedthemsomuchoftheirlostdaughter。TheBrooklynmatron，n”eeRamsey，hadthefigureofBuddhaandafaceliketheidealofanartphotographer。MissMerriamwasacombinationofcurves，smiles，roseleaves，pearls，satinandhair-tonicposters。Enoughofthefatuityofparents。
AmonthaftertheworthycouplebecameacquaintedwithMissMerriam，shestoodbeforeHinkleoneafternoonandresignedhercashiership。
“They”regoingtoadoptme，“shetoldthebereftrestaurateur。
“They”refunnyoldpeople，butregulardears。Andtheswellhometheyhavegot！Say，Hinkle，thereisn”tanyuseoftalking——I”monthe`alacartetowearbrowndudsandgogglesinawhizwagon，ormarryadukeatleast。Still，Isomehowhatetobreakoutoftheoldcage。I”vebeencashieringsolongIfeelfunnydoinganythingelse。
I”llmissjoshingthefellowsawfullywhentheylineuptopayforthebuckwheatsand。ButIcan”tletthischanceslide。Andthey”reawfullygood，Hinkle；IknowI”llhaveaswelltime。Youowemenine-sixty-twoandahalffortheweek。Cutoutthehalfifithurtsyou，Hinkle。”
Andtheydid。MissMerriambecameMissRosaMcRamsey。Andshegracedthetransition。Beautyisonlyskin-deep，butthenerveslieveryneartotheskin。Nerve——butjustherewillyouobligebyperusingagainthequotationwithwhichthisstorybegins？
TheMcRamseyspouredoutmoneylikedomesticchampagnetopolishtheiradoptedone。Milliners，dancingmastersandprivatetutorsgotit。Miss——er——McRamseywasgrateful，loving，andtriedtoforgetHinkle”s。TogiveamplecredittotheadaptabilityoftheAmericangirl，Hinkle”sdidfadefromhermemoryandspeechmostofthetime。
NoteveryonewillrememberwhentheEarlofHitesburycametoEastSeventy——Street，America。Hewasonlyafair-to-mediumearl，withoutdebts，andhecreatedlittleexcitement。ButyouwillsurelyremembertheeveningwhentheDaughtersofBenevolencehaledtheirbazaarintheW——f-A——aHotel。Foryouwerethere，andyouwroteanotetoFannieonthehotelpaper，andmailedit，justtoshowherthat——youdidnot？Verywell；thatwastheeveningthebabywassick，ofcourse。
AtthebazaartheMcRamseyswereprominent。MissMer——er——McRamseywasexquisitelybeautiful。TheEarlofHitesburyhadbeenveryattentivetohersincehedroppedintohavealookatAmerica。
Atthecharitybazaartheaffairwassupposedtobegoingtobepulledofftoafinish。Anearlisasgoodasaduke。Better。
Hisstandingmaybelower，buthisoutstandingaccountsarealsolower。
Ourex-young-lady-cashierwasassignedtoabooth。Shewasexpectedtosellworthlessarticlestonobsandsnobsatexorbitantprices。TheproceedsofthebazaarweretobeusedforgivingthepoorchildrenoftheslumsaChristmasdin——Say！didyoueverwonderwheretheygettheother364？
MissMcRamsey——beautiful，palpitating，excited，charming，radiant——
flutteredaboutinherbooth。Animitationbrassnetwork，withalittlearchedopening，fencedherin。
AlongcametheEarl，assured，delicate，accurate，admiring——admiringgreatly，andfacedtheopenwicket。
“Youlookchawming，youknow——”ponmywordyoudo——mydeah，“hesaid，beguilingly。
“Cutthatjoshingout，“shesaid，coollyandbriskly。“Whodoyouthinkyouaretalkingto？Yourcheck，please。Oh，Lordy！”
Patronsofthebazaarbecameawareofacommotionandpressedaroundacertainbooth。TheEarlofHitesburystoodnearbypullingapaleblondandpuzzledwhisker。
“MissMcRamseyhasfainted，“someoneexplained。
XIX
PROOFOFTHEPUDDING
SpringwinkedavitreousopticatEditorWestbrookofthe_MinervaMagazine_，anddeflectedhimfromhiscourse。HehadlunchedinhisfavoritecornerofaBroadwayhotel，andwasreturningtohisofficewhenhisfeetbecameentangledinthelureofthevernalcoquette。WhichisbywayofsayingthatheturnedeastwardinTwenty-sixthStreet，safelyfordedthespringfreshetofvehiclesinFifthAvenue，andmeanderedalongthewalksofbuddingMadisonSquare。
Thelenientairandthesettingsofthelittleparkalmostformedapastoral；thecolormotifwasgreen——thepresidingshadeatthecreationofmanandvegetation。
Thecallowgrassbetweenthewalkswasthecolorofverdigris，apoisonousgreen，reminiscentofthehordeofderelicthumansthathadbreatheduponthesoilduringthesummerandautumn。Theburstingtreebudslookedstrangelyfamiliartothosewhohadbotanizedamongthegarnishingsofthefishcourseofaforty-centdinner。Theskyabovewasofthatpaleaquamarinetintthatballroompoetsrhymewith“true“and“Sue”and“coo。”Theonenaturalandfrankcolorvisiblewastheostensiblegreenofthenewlypaintedbenches——ashadebetweenthecolorofapickledcucumberandthatofalastyear”sfast-blackcravenetteraincoat。
But，tothecity-bredeyeofEditorWestbrook，thelandscapeappearedamasterpiece。
Andnow，whetheryouareofthosewhorushin，orofthegentleconcoursethatfearstotread，youmustfollowinabriefinvasionoftheeditor”smind。
EditorWestbrook”sspiritwascontentedandserene。TheAprilnumberofthe_Minerva_hadsolditsentireeditionbeforethetenthdayofthemonth——anewsdealerinKeokukhadwrittenthathecouldhavesoldfiftycopiesmoreifhehad”em。Theownersofthemagazinehadraisedhistheeditor”ssalary；hehadjustinstalledinhishomeajewelofarecentlyimportedcookwhowasafraidofpolicemen；andthemorningpapershadpublishedinfullaspeechhehadmadeatapublishers”banquet。Alsotherewereechoinginhismindthejubilantnotesofasplendidsongthathischarmingyoungwifehadsungtohimbeforehelefthisup-townapartmentthatmorning。Shewastakingenthusiasticinterestinhermusicoflate，practisingearlyanddiligently。Whenhehadcomplimentedherontheimprovementinhervoiceshehadfairlyhuggedhimforjoyathispraise。Hefelt，too，thebenign，tonicmedicamentofthetrainednurse，Spring，trippingsoftlyadownthewardsoftheconvalescentcity。
WhileEditorWestbrookwassaunteringbetweentherowsofparkbenchesalreadyfillingwithvagrantsandtheguardiansoflawlesschildhoodhefelthissleevegraspedandheld。Suspectingthathewasabouttobepanhandled，heturnedacoldandunprofitableface，andsawthathiscaptorwas——Dawe——ShacklefordDawe，dingy，almostragged，thegenteelscracelyvisibleinhimthroughthedeeperlinesoftheshabby。
Whiletheeditorispullinghimselfoutofhissurprise，aflashlightbiographyofDaweisoffered。
Hewasafictionwriter，andoneofWestbrook”soldacquaintances。
Atonetimetheymighthavecalledeachotheroldfriends。Dawehadsomemoneyinthosedays，andlivedinadecentapartmenthousenearWestbrook”s。Thetwofamiliesoftenwenttotheatresanddinnerstogether。Mrs。DaweandMrs。Westbrookbecame“dearest“
friends。Thenonedayalittletentacleoftheoctopus，justtoamuseitself，ingurgitatedDawe”scapital，andhemovedtotheGramercyParkneighborhoodwhereone，forafewgroatsperweek，maysituponone”strunkundereight-branchedchandeliersandoppositeCarraramarblemantelsandwatchthemiceplayuponthefloor。Dawethoughttolivebywritingfiction。Nowandthenhesoldastory。HesubmittedmanytoWestbrook。The_Minerva_
printedoneortwoofthem；therestwerereturned。Westbrooksentacarefulandconscientiouspersonalletterwitheachrejectedmanuscript，pointingoutindetailhisreasonsforconsideringitunavailable。EditorWestbrookhadhisownclearconceptionofwhatconstitutedgoodfiction。SohadDawe。Mrs。Dawewasmainlyconcernedabouttheconstituentsofthescantydishesoffoodthatshemanagedtoscrapetogether。OnedayDawehadbeenspoutingtoherabouttheexcellenciesofcertainFrenchwriters。Atdinnertheysatdowntoadishthatahungryschoolboycouldhaveencompassedatagulp。Dawecommented。
“It”sMaupassanthash，“saidMrs。Dawe。“Itmaynotbeart，butI
dowishyouwoulddoafive-courseMarionCrawfordserialwithanEllaWheelerWilcoxsonnetfordessert。I”mhungry。”
AsfarasthisfromsuccesswasShacklefordDawewhenhepluckedEditorWestbrook”ssleeveinMadisonSquare。ThatwasthefirsttimetheeditorhadseenDaweinseveralmonths。
“Why，Shack，isthisyou？“saidWestbrook，somewhatawkwardly，fortheformofhisphraseseemedtotouchupontheother”schangedappearance。
“Sitdownforaminute，“saidDawe，tuggingathissleeve。“Thisismyoffice。Ican”tcometoyours，lookingasIdo。Oh，sitdown——youwon”tbedisgraced。Thosehalf-pluckedbirdsontheotherbencheswilltakeyouforaswellporch-climber。Theywon”tknowyouareonlyaneditor。”
“Smoke，Shack？“saidEditorWestbrook，sinkingcautiouslyuponthevirulentgreenbench。Healwaysyieldedgracefullywhenhedidyield。
Dawesnappedatthecigarasakingfisherdartsatasunperch，oragirlpecksatachocolatecream。
“Ihavejust”begantheeditor。
“Oh，Iknow；don”tfinish，“saidDawe。“Givemeamatch。Youhavejusttenminutestospare。Howdidyoumanagetogetpastmyoffice-boyandinvademysanctum？Therehegoesnow，throwinghisclubatadogthatcouldn”treadthe”KeepofftheGrass”
signs。”
“Howgoesthewriting？“askedtheeditor。
“Lookatme，“saidDawe，“foryouranswer。Nowdon”tputonthatembarrassed，friendly-but-honestlookandaskmewhyIdon”tgetajobasawineagentoracabdriver。I”minthefighttoafinish。
IknowIcanwritegoodfictionandI”llforceyoufellowstoadmitityet。I”llmakeyouchangethespellingof”regrets”to”c-h-e-q-u-e”beforeI”mdonewithyou。”
EditorWestbrookgazedthroughhisnose-glasseswithasweetlysorrowful，omniscient，sympathetic，skepticalexpression——thecopyrightedexpressionoftheeditorbeleaguredbytheunavailablecontributor。
“HaveyoureadthelaststoryIsentyou——”TheAlarumoftheSoul”？“
askedDawe。
“Carefully。Ihesitatedoverthatstory，Shack，reallyIdid。Ithadsomegoodpoints。Iwaswritingyoualettertosendwithitwhenitgoesbacktoyou。Iregret”
“Nevermindtheregrets，“saidDawe，grimly。“There”sneithersalvenorstingin”emanymore。WhatIwanttoknowis_why_。
Comenow；outwiththegoodpointsfirst。”
“Thestory，“saidWestbrook，deliberately，afterasuppressedsigh，“iswrittenaroundanalmostoriginalplot。Characterization——thebestyouhavedone。Construction——almostasgood，exceptforafewweakjointswhichmightbestrengthenedbyafewchangesandtouches。
Itwasagoodstory，except”
“IcanwriteEnglish，can”tI？“interruptedDawe。
“Ihavealwaystoldyou，“saidtheeditor，“thatyouhadastyle。”
“Thenthetroubleis”
“Sameoldthing，“saidEditorWestbrook。“Youworkuptoyourclimaxlikeanartist。Andthenyouturnyourselfintoaphotographer。Idon”tknowwhatformofobstinatemadnesspossessesyou，butthatiswhatyoudowitheverythingthatyouwrite。No，Iwillretractthecomparisonwiththephotographer。
Nowandthenphotography，inspiteofitsimpossibleperspective，managestorecordafleetingglimpseoftruth。Butyouspoileveryd”enouementbythoseflat，drab，obliteratingstrokesofyourbrushthatIhavesooftencomplainedof。Ifyouwouldrisetotheliterarypinnacleofyourdramaticsenses，andpainttheminthehighcolorsthatartrequires，thepostmanwouldleavefewerbulky，self-addressedenvelopesatyourdoor。”
“Oh，fiddlesandfootlights！“criedDawe，derisively。“You”vegotthatoldsawmilldramakinkinyourbrainyet。Whenthemanwiththeblackmustachekidnapsgolden-hairedBessieyouareboundtohavethemotherkneelandraiseherhandsinthespotlightandsay：”MayhighheavenwitnessthatIwillrestneithernightnordaytilltheheartlessvillainthathasstolenmechildfeelstheweightofanother”svengeance！”“
EditorWestbrookconcededasmileofimperviouscomplacency。
“Ithink，“saidhe，“thatinreallifethewomanwouldexpressherselfinthosewordsorinverysimilarones。”
“Notinasixhundrednights”runanywherebutonthestage，“saidDawehotly。“I”lltellyouwhatshe”dsayinreallife。She”dsay：”What！Bessieledawaybyastrangeman？GoodLord！It”sonetroubleafteranother！Getmyotherhat，Imusthurryaroundtothepolice-station。Whywasn”tsomebodylookingafterher，I”dliketoknow？ForGod”ssake，getoutofmywayorI”llnevergetready。
Notthathat——thebrownonewiththevelvetbows。Bessiemusthavebeencrazy；she”susuallyshyofstrangers。Isthattoomuchpowder？Lordy！HowI”mupset！”
“That”sthewayshe”dtalk，“continuedDawe。“Peopleinreallifedon”tflyintoheroicsandblankverseatemotionalcrises。Theysimplycan”tdoit。Iftheytalkatallonsuchoccasionstheydrawfromthesamevocabularythattheyuseeveryday，andmuddleuptheirwordsandideasalittlemore，that”sall。”
“Shack，“saidEditorWestbrookimpressively，“didyoueverpickupthemangledandlifelessformofachildfromunderthefenderofastreetcar，andcarryitinyourarmsandlayitdownbeforethedistractedmother？Didyoueverdothatandlistentothewordsofgriefanddespairastheyflowedspontaneouslyfromherlips？“
“Ineverdid，“saidDawe。“Didyou？“
“Well，no，“saidEditorWestbrook，withaslightfrown。“ButIcanwellimaginewhatshewouldsay。”
“SocanI，“saidDawe。
AndnowthefittingtimehadcomeforEditorWestbrooktoplaytheoracleandsilencehisopinionatedcontributor。Itwasnotforanunarrivedfictionisttodictatewordstobeutteredbytheheroesandheroinesofthe_MinervaMagazine_，contrarytothetheoriesoftheeditorthereof。
“MydearShack，“saidhe，“ifIknowanythingoflifeIknowthateverysudden，deepandtragicemotioninthehumanheartcallsforthanapposite，concordant，conformableandproportionateexpressionoffeeling。Howmuchofthisinevitableaccordbetweenexpressionandfeelingshouldbeattributedtonature，andhowmuchtotheinfluenceofart，itwouldbedifficulttosay。ThesublimelyterribleroarofthelionessthathasbeendeprivedofhercubsisdramaticallyasfarabovehercustomarywhineandpurrasthekinglyandtranscendentutterancesofLearareabovethelevelofhissenilevaporings。Butitisalsotruethatallmenandwomenhavewhatmaybecalledasub-consciousdramaticsensethatisawakenedbyasufficientlydeepandpowerfulemotion——asenseunconsciouslyacquiredfromliteratureandthestagethatpromptsthemtoexpressthoseemotionsinlanguagebefittingtheirimportanceandhistrionicvalue。”
“Andinthenameofthesevensacredsaddle-blanketsofSagittarius，wheredidthestageandliteraturegetthestunt？“askedDawe。
“Fromlife，“answeredtheeditor，triumphantly。
Thestorywriterrosefromthebenchandgesticulatedeloquentlybutdumbly。Hewasbeggaredforwordswithwhichtoformulateadequatelyhisdissent。
Onabenchnearbyafrowzyloaferopenedhisredeyesandperceivedthathismoralsupportwasdueadowntroddenbrother。
“Punchhimone，Jack，“hecalledhoarselytoDawe。“W”at”shecomemakin”anoiselikeapennyarcadeforamongstgen”lementhatcomesinthesquaretosetandthink？“
EditorWestbrooklookedathiswatchwithanaffectedshowofleisure。
“Tellme，“askedDawe，withtruculentanxiety，“whatespecialfaultsin”TheAlarumoftheSoul”causedyoutothrowitdown？“
“WhenGabrielMurray，“saidWestbrook，“goestohistelephoneandistoldthathisfianc”eehasbeenshotbyaburglar，hesays——Idonotrecalltheexactwords，but”
“Ido，“saidDawe。“Hesays：”DamnCentral；shealwayscutsmeoff。”
Andthentohisfriend”Say，Tommy，doesathirty-twobulletmakeabighole？It”skindofhardluck，ain”tit？Couldyougetmeadrinkfromthesideboard，Tommy？No；straight；nothingontheside。”“
“Andagain，“continuedtheeditor，withoutpausingforargument，“whenBereniceopenstheletterfromherhusbandinformingherthathehasfledwiththemanicuregirl，herwordsare——letmesee”
“Shesays，“interposedtheauthor：“”Well，whatdoyouthinkofthat！”“
“Absurdlyinappropriatewords，“saidWestbrook，“presentingananti-climax——plungingthestoryintohopelessbathos。Worseyet；
theymirrorlifefalsely。Nohumanbeingeverutteredbanalcolloquialismswhenconfrontedbysuddentragedy。”
“Wrong，“saidDawe，closinghisunshavenjawsdoggedly。“Isaynomanorwomaneverspouts”high-falutin”talkwhentheygoupagainstarealclimax。Theytalknaturallyandalittleworse。”
Theeditorrosefromthebenchwithhisairofindulgenceandinsideinformation。
“Say，Westbrook，“saidDawe，pinninghimbythelapel，“wouldyouhaveaccepted”TheAlarumoftheSoul”ifyouhadbelievedthattheactionsandwordsofthecharactersweretruetolifeinthepartsofthestorythatwediscussed？“
“ItisverylikelythatIwould，ifIbelievedthatway，“saidtheeditor。“ButIhaveexplainedtoyouthatIdonot。”
“IfIcouldprovetoyouthatIamright？“
“I”msorry，Shack，butI”mafraidIhaven”ttimetoargueanyfurtherjustnow。”
“Idon”twanttoargue，“saidDave。“Iwanttodemonstratetoyoufromlifeitselfthatmyviewisthecorrectone。”
“Howcouldyoudothat？“askedWestbrook，inasurprisedtone。
“Listen，“saidthewriter，seriously。“Ihavethoughtofaway。Itisimportanttomethatmytheoryoftrue-to-lifefictionberecognizedascorrectbythemagazines。I”vefoughtforitforthreeyears，andI”mdowntomylastdollar，withtwomonths”rentdue。”
“Ihaveappliedtheoppositeofyourtheory，“saidtheeditor，“inselectingthefictionforthe_MinervaMagazine_。Thecirculationhasgoneupfromninetythousandto”
“Fourhundredthousand，“saidDawe。“Whereasitshouldhavebeenboostedtoamillion。”
“Yousaidsomethingtomejustnowaboutdemonstratingyourpettheory。”
“Iwill。Ifyou”llgivemeabouthalfanhourofyourtimeI”llprovetoyouthatIamright。I”llproveitbyLouise。”
“Yourwife！“exclaimedWestbrook。“How？“
“Well，notexactlybyher，but_with_her，“saidDawe。“Now，youknowhowdevotedandlovingLousehasalwaysbeen。ShethinksI”mtheonlygenuinepreparationonthemarketthatbearstheolddoctor”ssignature。She”sbeenfonderandmorefaithfulthanever，sinceI”vebeencastfortheneglectedgeniuspart。”
“Indeed，sheisacharmingandadmirablelifecompanion，“agreedtheeditor。“IrememberwhatinseparablefriendssheandMrs。
Westbrookoncewere。Wearebothluckychaps，Shack，tohavesuchwives。YoumustbringMrs。Daweupsomeeveningsoon，andwe”llhaveoneofthoseinformalchafing-dishsuppersthatweusedtoenjoysomuch。”
“Later，“saidDawe。“WhenIgetanothershirt。AndnowI”lltellyoumyscheme。WhenIwasabouttoleavehomeafterbreakfast——
ifyoucancallteaandoatmealbreakfast——LouisetoldmeshewasgoingtovisitherauntinEighty-ninthStreet。Shesaidshewouldreturnatthreeo”clock。Sheisalwaysontimetoaminute。Itisnow”
Daweglancedtowardtheeditor”swatchpocket。
“Twenty-sevenminutestothree，“saidWestbrook，scanninghistime-piece。
“Wehavejustenoughtime，“saidDawe。“Wewillgotomyflatatonce。Iwillwriteanote，addressittoherandleaveitonthetablewhereshewillseeitassheentersthedoor。YouandIwillbeinthedining-roomconcealedbytheporti`eres。InthatnoteI”llsaythatIhavefledfromherforeverwithanaffinitywhounderstandstheneedofmyartisticsoulassheneverdid。Whenshereadsitwewillobserveheractionsandhearherwords。Thenwewillknowwhichtheoryisthecorrectone——yoursormine。”
“Oh，never！“exclaimedtheeditor，shakinghishead。“Thatwouldbeinexcusablycruel。IcouldnotconsenttohaveMrs。Dawe”sfeelingsplayeduponinsuchamanner。”
“Braceup，“saidthewriter。“IguessIthinkasmuchofherasyoudo。It”sforherbenefitaswellasmine。I”vegottogetamarketformystoriesinsomeway。Itwon”thurtLouise。She”shealthyandsound。Herheartgoesasstrongasaninety-eight-centwatch。It”lllastforonlyaminute，andthenI”llstepoutandexplaintoher。
Youreallyoweittometogivemethechance，Westbrook。”
EditorWestbrookatlengthyielded，thoughbuthalfwillingly。Andinthehalfofhimthatconsentedlurkedthevivisectionistthatisinallofus。Lethimwhohasnotusedthescalpelriseandstandinhisplace。Pity”tisthattherearenotenoughrabbitsandguinea-pigstogoaround。
ThetwoexperimentersinArtlefttheSquareandhurriedeastwardandthentothatsouthuntiltheyarrivedintheGramercyneighborhood。Withinitshighironrailingsthelittleparkhadputonitssmartcoatofvernalgreen，andwasadmiringitselfinitsfountainmirror。Outsidetherailingsthehollowsquareofcrumblinghouses，shellsofabygonegentry，leanedasifinghostlygossipovertheforgottendoingsofthevanishedquality。
_Sictransitgloriaurbis_。
AblockortwonorthofthePark，Dawesteeredtheeditoragaineastward，then，aftercoveringashortdistance，intoaloftybutnarrowflathouseburdenedwithafloridlyover-decoratedfa，cade。
Tothefifthstorytheytoiled，andDawe，panting，pushedhislatch-keyintothedoorofoneofthefrontflats。
WhenthedooropenedEditorWestbrooksaw，withfeelingsofpity，howmeanlyandmeagerlytheroomswerefurnished。
“Getachair，ifyoucanfindone，“saidDawe，“whileIhuntuppenandink。Hello，what”sthis？Here”sanotefromLouise。Shemusthaveleftittherewhenshewentoutthismorning。”
Hepickedupanenvelopethatlayonthecentre-tableandtoreitopen。Hebegantoreadtheletterthathedrewoutofit；andoncehavingbegunitaloudhesoreaditthroughtotheend。ThesearethewordsthatEditorWestbrookheard：
“DearShackleford：
“BythetimeyougetthisIwillbeaboutahundredmilesawayandstilla-going。I”vegotaplaceinthechorusoftheOccidentalOperaCo。，andwestartontheroadto-dayattwelveo”clock。I
didn”twanttostarvetodeath，andsoIdecidedtomakemyownliving。I”mnotcomingback。Mrs。Westbrookisgoingwithme。
Shesaidshewastiredoflivingwithacombinationphonograph，iceberganddictionary，andshe”snotcomingback，either。We”vebeenpractisingthesongsanddancesfortwomonthsonthequiet。
Ihopeyouwillbesuccessful，andgetalongallright！Good-bye。
“Louise。”
Dawedroppedtheletter，coveredhisfacewithhistremblinghands，andcriedoutinadeep，vibratingvoice：
_“MyGod，whyhastthougivenmethiscuptodrink？Sincesheisfalse，thenletThyHeaven”sfairestgifts，faithandlove，becomethejestingby-wordsoftraitorsandfiends！“_
EditorWestbrook”sglassesfelltothefloor。Thefingersofonehandfumbledwithabuttononhiscoatasheblurtedbetweenhispalelips：
_“Say，Shack，ain”tthatahellofanote？Wouldn”tthatknockyouoffyourperch，Shack？Ain”tithell，now，Shack——ain”tit？“_
XX
PASTONEATROONEY”S
OnlyonthelowerEastSideofNewYorkdothehousesofCapuletandMontagusurvive。Theretheydonotfightbythebookofarithmetic。Ifyoubutbiteyourthumbatanupholderofyouropposinghouseyouhaveworkcutoutforyoursteel。OnBroadwayyoumaydragyourmanalongadozenblocksbyhisnose，andhewillonlybawlforthewatch；butinthedomainoftheEastSideTybaltsandMercutiosyoumustobservethenicetiesofdeportmenttothewinkofanyeyelashandtoaninchofelbowroomatthebarwhenitspatronsincludefoesofyourhouseandkin。
So，whenEddieMcManus，knowntotheCapuletsasCorkMcManus，driftedintoDutchMike”sforasteinofbeer，andcameuponabunchofMontagusmakingmerrywiththesuds，hebegantoobservethestrictestparliamentaryrules。Courtesyforbadehisleavingthesaloonwithhisthirstunslaked；cautionsteeredhimtoaplaceatthebarwherethemirrorsuppliedthecognizanceoftheenemy”smovementsthathisindifferentgazeseemedtodisdain；
experiencewhisperedtohimthatthefingeroftroublewouldbebusyamongthechatteringsteinsatDutchMike”sthatnight。
ClosebyhissidedrewBrickCleary，hisMercutio，companionofhisperambulations。Thustheystood，fouroftheMulberryHillGangandtwofotheDryDockGang，mindingtheirP”sandQ”ssosolicitouslythatDutchMikekeptoneeyeonhiscustomersandtheotheronanopenspacebeneathhisbarinwhichitwashiscustomtoseeksafetywhenevertheominouspolitenessoftherivalassociationscongealedintotheshapesofbulletsandcoldsteel。
ButwehavenottodowiththewarsoftheMulberryHillsandtheDryDocks。WemusttoRooney”s，where，onthemostblighteddeadbranchofthetreeoflife，alittlepaleorchidshallbloom。
Overstrainedetiquetteatlastgaveway。Itisnotknownwhofirstoversteppedtheboundsofpunctilio；buttheconsequenceswereimmediate。BuckMalone，oftheMulberryHills，withaDewey-likeswiftness，gotaneight-inchgunswungroundfromhishurricanedeck。ButMcManus”ssimilemustbethetorpedo。HeglidedinunderthegunsandslippedascantthreeinchesofknifebladebetweentheribsoftheMulberryHillcruiser。MeanwhileBrickCleary，adevoteetostrategy，hadskimmedacrossthelunchcounterandthrowntheswitchoftheelectrics，leavingthecombattobewagedbythelightofgunfirealone。DutchMikecrawledfromhishavenandranintothestreetcryingforthewatchinsteadofforaShakespearetoimmortalizetheCimmerianshindy。
Thecopcame，andfoundaprostrate，bleedingMontagusupportedbythreedistraitandreticentfollowersoftheHouse。Faithfultotheethicsofthegangs，nooneknewwhencethehurtcame。TherewasnoCapulettobeseen。
“Rausmitderinterrogatories，“saidBuckMalonetotheofficer。
“SureIknowwhodoneit。Ialwaysmanagestogetabird”seyeviewofanyguythatcomesupan”makesashowcaseforahardwarestoreoutofme。No。I”mnottellingyouhisname。I”llsettlewithummeself。Wow——ouch！Easy，boys！Yes，I”llattendtohiscasemeself。I”mnotmakinganycomplaint。”
AtmidnightMcManusstrolledaroundapileoflumbernearanEastSidedock，andlingeredinthevicinityofacertainwaterplug。
BrickClearydriftedcasuallytothetrystingplacetenminuteslater。“He”llmaybenotcroak，“saidBrick；“andhewon”ttell，ofcourse。ButDutchMikedid。Hetoldthepolicehewastiredofhavinghisplaceshotup。It”sunhandyjustnow，becauseTimCorrigan”sinEuropeforaweek”sendwithKings。He”llbebackonthe_KaiserWilliams_nextFriday。You”llhavetoduckoutofsighttillthen。Tim”llfixitupallrightforuswhenhecomesback。”
ThisgoestoexplainwhyCorkMcManuswentintoRooney”sonenightandtherelookeduponthebright，strangerfaceofRomanceforthefirsttimeinhisprecariouscareer。
UntilTimCorriganshouldreturnfromhisjauntamongKingsandPrincesandholduphisbigwhitefingerinprivateoffices，itwasunsafeforCorkinanyoftheoldhauntsofhisgang。Sohelay，perdu，inthehighrearroomofaCapulet，readingpinksportingsheetsandcursingtheslowpaddlewheelsofthe_KaiserWilhelm_。
ItwasonThursdayeveningthatCork”sseclusionbecameintolerabletohim。Neverahartpantedforwaterfountainashedidforthecooltouchofadriftingstein，forthefirmsecurityofafoot-
railinthehollowofhisshoeandthequiet，heartychallengesoffriendshipandreparteealongandacrosstheshiningbars。Buthemustavoidthedistrictwherehewasknown。Thecopswerelookingforhimeverywhere，fornewswasscarce，andthenewspaperswereharpingagainonthefailureofthepolicetosuppressthegangs。IftheygothimbeforeCorrigancameback，thebigwhitefingercouldnotbeuplifted；itwouldbetoolatethen。ButCorriganwouldbehomethenextday，sohefeltsuretherewouldbesmalldangerinalittleexcursionthatnightamongthecrasspleasuresthatrepresentedlifetohim。
Athalf-pasttwelveMcManusstoodinadarkishcross-townstreetlookingupatthename“Rooney”s，“pickedoutbyincandescentlightsagainstasignboardoverasecond-storywindow。Hehadheardoftheplaceasatough“hang-out“；withitsfrequentersanditslocalityhewasunfamiliar。Guidedbycertainunerringindicationscommontoallsuchresorts，heascendedthestairsandenteredthelargeroomoverthecaf”e。
Hereweresometwentyorthirtytables，atthistimeabouthalf-
filledwithRooney”sguests。Waitersserveddrinks。Atoneendahumanpianolawithdruggedeyeshammeredthekeyswithautomaticandfuriousunprecision。Atmercifulintervalsawaiterwouldroarorsqueakasong——songsfullof“Mr。Jonsons“and“babes“
and“coons“——historicalwordguarantiesofthegenuinenessofAfricanmelodiescomposedbyredwaistcoatedyounggentlemen，nativesofthecottonfieldsandriceswampsofWestTwenty-
eighthStreet。
ForonebriefmomentyoumustadmireRooneywithmeashereceives，seats，manipulates，andchaffshisguests。Heistwenty-nine。HehasWellington”snose，Dante”schin，thecheek-bonesofanIroquois，thesmileofTalleyrand，Corbett”sfootwork，andtheposeofaneleven-year-oldEastSideCentralParkQueenoftheMay。HeisassistedbyalieutenantknownasFrank，apudgy，easychap，swell-dressed，whogoesamongthetablesseeingthatdullcaredoesnotintrude。Now，whatisthereaboutRooney”stoinspireallthispother？Itismorerespectablebydaylight；stoutladieswithchildrenandmittensandbundlesandunpedigreeddogsdropupofafternoonsforasteinandachat。Evenbygaslightthediversionsaremelancholyi”themouth——drinkandrag-time，andanoccasionalsurprisewhenthewaiterswabsthesudsfromunderyourstickyglass。Thereisananswer。Transmigration！ThesoulofSirWalterRaleighhastraveledfrombeneathhisslasheddoublettoakindredhomeunderRooney”svisibleplaidwaistcoat。
Rooney”sistwentyyearsaheadofthetimes。Rooneyhasremovedtheembargo。Rooneyhasspreadhiscloakuponthesoggycrossingofpublicopinion，andanyElizabethwhotreadsuponitisasmuchaqueenasanother。Attendtotherevelationofthesecret。InRooney”sladiesmaysmoke！
McManussatdownatavacanttable。Hepaidfortheglassofbeerthatheordered，tiltedhisnarrow-brimmedderbytothebackofhisbrick-dusthead，twinedhisfeetamongtherungsofhischair，andheavedasighofcontentmentfromthebreathingspacesofhisinnermostsoul；forthismudhoneywasclarifiedsweetnesstohistaste。Theshamgaiety，thehecticglowofcounterfeithospitality，theself-conscious，joylesslaughter，thewine-bornwarmth，theloudmusicretrievingthehourfromfrequentwhilesofawfulandcorrodingsilence，thepresenceofwell-clothedandfrank-eyedbeneficiariesofRooney”sremovaloftherestrictionslaidupontheweed，thefamiliarblendedodorsofsoakedlemonpeel，flatbeer，and_peaud”Espagne_——alltheseweremannatoCorkMcManus，hungryforhisweekinthedesertoftheCapulet”shighrearroom。
Agirl，alone，enteredRooney”s，glancedaroundwithleisurelyswiftness，andsatoppositeMcManusathistable。Hereyesresteduponhimfortwosecondsinthelookwithwhichwomanreconnoitresallmenwhomsheforthefirsttimeconfronts。Inthatspaceoftimeshewilldecideupononeoftwothings——eithertoscreamforthepolice，orthatshemaymarryhimlateron。
Herbriefinspectionconcluded，thegirllaidonthetableawornredmoroccoshoppingbagwiththeinevitabletop-gallantsailoffrayedlacehandkerchiefflyingfromacornerofit。Aftershehadorderedasmallbeerfromtheimmediatewaitershetookfromherbagaboxofcigarettesandlightedonewithslightlyexaggeratedeaseofmanner。ThenshelookedagainintheeyesofCorkMcManusandsmiled。
Instantlythedoomofeachwassealed。
TheunqualifieddesireofamantobuyclothesandbuildfiresforawomanforawholelifetimeatfirstsightofherisnotuncommonamongthathumbleportionofhumanitythatdoesnotcareforBradstreetorcoats-of-armsorShaw”splays。Loveatfirstsighthasoccurredatimeortwoinhighlife；but，asarule，theextemporemaniaistobefoundamongunsophisticatedcraturessuchasthedove，theblue-taileddingbat，andtheten-dollar-a-weekclerk。
Poets，subscriberstoallfictionmagazines，andschatchens，takenotice。
Withtheexchangeofthemysteriousmagneticcurrentcametoeachofthemtheinstantdesiretolie，pretend，dazzleanddeceive，whichistheworstthingaboutthehypocriticaldisorderknownaslove。
“Haveanotherbeer？“suggestedCork。Inhiscirclethephrasewasconsideredtobeacard，accompaniedbyaletterofintroductionandreferences。
“No，thanks，“saidthegirl，raisinghereyebrowsandchoosingherconventionalwordscarefully。“I——merelydroppedinfor——aslightrefreshment。”Thecigarettebetweenherfingersseemedtorequireexplanation。“MyauntisaRussianlady，“sheconcluded，“andweoftenhaveapostperannualcigaretteafterdinnerathome。”
“Cheeseit！“saidCork，whomsocietyairsoppressed。“Yourfingersareasyellowasmine。”
“Say，“saidthegirl，blazinguponhimwithlow-voicedindignation，“whatdoyouthinkIam？Say，whodoyouthinkyouaretalkingto？
What？“
Shewasprettytolookat。Hereyeswerebig，brown，intrepidandbright。Unerherflatsailorhat，plantedjauntilyononeside，hercrinkly，tawnyhairpartedandwasdrawnback。lowandmassy，inathick，pendantknotbehind。Theroundnessofgirlhoodstilllingeredinherchinandneck，buthercheeksandfingerswerethinningslightly。Shelookedupontheworldwithdefiance，suspicion，andsullenwonder。Hersmart，shorttancoatwassoiledandexpensive。Twoinchesbelowherblackdressdroppedthelowestflounceofaheliotropesilkunderskirt。
“Begyourpardon，“saidCork，lookingatheradmiringly。“Ididn”tmeananything。Sure，it”snoharmtosmoke，Maudy。”
“Rooney”s，“saidthegirl，softenedatoncebyhisamends，“istheonlyplaceIknowwherealadycansmoke。Maybeitain”tanicehabit，butauntyletsusathome。Andmynameain”tMaudy，ifyouplease；it”sRubyDelamere。”
“That”saswellhandle，“saidCorkapprovingly。“Mine”sMcManus——Cor——er——EddieMcManus。”
“Oh，youcan”thelpthat，“laughedRuby。“Don”tapologize。”
CorklookedseriouslyatthebigclockonRooney”swall。Thegirl”subiquitouseyestookinthemovement。
“Iknowit”slate，“shesaid，reachingforherbag；“butyouknowhowyouwantasmokewhenyouwantone。Ain”tRooney”sallright？
Ineversawanythingwronghere。ThisistwiceI”vebeenin。
IworkinabookbinderyonThirdAvenue。Alotofusgirlshavebeenworkingovertimethreenightsaweek。Theywon”tletyousmokethere，ofcourse。Ijustdroppedinhereonmywayhomeforapuff。Ain”titallrightinhere？Ifitain”t，Iwon”tcomeanymore。”
“It”salittlebitlateforyoutobeoutaloneanywhere，“saidCork。
“I”mnotwisetothisparticularjoint；butanyhowyoudon”twanttohaveyourpicturetakeninitforapresenttoyourSundaySchoolteacher。Haveonemorebeer，andthensayItakeyouhome。”
“ButIdon”tknowyou，“saidthegirl，withfinescrupulosity。“I
don”tacceptthecompanyofgentlemenIain”tacquaintedwith。Myauntneverwouldallowthat。”
“Why，“saidCorkMcManus，pullinghisear，“I”mthelatestthinginsuitingswithsideventsandbellskirtwhenitcomestoescortin”
alady。Youbetyou”llfindmeallright，Ruby。AndI”llgiveyouatipastowhoIam。Mygovernorisoneofthehottestcross-bunsoftheWallStreetpush。Morgan”scabhorsecastsashoeeverytimetheoldmanstickshisheadoutthewindow。Me！Well，I”mintrainin”downtheStreet。Theoldman”sgoin”toputaseatontheStockExchangeinmystockin”mynextbirthday。Butitallsoundslikealemontome。WhatIlikeisgolfandyachtin”and——er——well，sayacorkin”fastten-roundboutbetweenwelter-weightswithwalkin”gloves。”
“Iguessyoucanwalktothedoorwithme，“saidthegirlhesitatingly，butwithacertainpleasedflutter。“StillIneverheardanythingextragoodaboutWallStreetbrokers，orsportwhogotoprizefights，either。Ain”tyougotanyotherrecommendations？“
“Ithinkyou”retheswellestlookerI”vehadmylampsoninlittleoldNewYork，“saidCorkimpressively。
“That”llbeaboutenoughofthat，now。Ain”tyouthekidder！“
Shemodifiedherchidingwordsbyadeep，long，beaming，smile-
embellishedlookathercavalier。“We”lldrinkourbeerbeforewego，ha？“
Awaitersang。Thetobaccosmokegrewdenser，driftingandrisinginspirals，waves，tiltedlayers，cumulusclouds，cataractsandsuspendedfogslikesomefifthelementcreatedfromtheribsoftheancientfour。Laughterandchatgrewlouder，stimulatedbyRooney”sliquidsandRooney”sgallanthospitalitytoLadyNicotine。
Oneo”clockstruck。Down-stairstherewasasoundofclosingandlockingdoors。Frankpulleddownthegreenshadesofthefrontwindowscarefully。Rooneywentbelowinthedarkhallandstoodatthefrontdoor，hiscigarettecachedinthehollowofhishand。
ThenceforthwhoevermightseekadmittancemustpresentacountenancefamiliartoRooney”shawk”seye——thecountenanceofatruesport。
CorkMcManusandthebookbinderygirlconversedabsorbedly，withtheirelbowsonthetable。Theirglassesofbeerwerepushedtooneside，scarcelytouched，withthefoamonthemsunkentoathinwhitescum。SincethestrokeofonethestalepleasuresofRooney”shadbecomerenovatedandspiced；notbyanyadditiontothelistofdistractions，butbecausefromthatmomentthesweetsbecamestolenones。Theflattestglassofbeeracquiredthetangofillegality；themildestclaretpunchstruckaknockoutblowatlawandorder；theharmlessandgenialcompanybecameoutlaws，defyingauthorityandrule。ForafterthestrokeofoneinsuchplacesasRooney”s，whereneitherbednorboardistobehad，drinkmaynotbesetbeforethethirstyofthecityofthefourmillion。
Itisthelaw。
“Say，“saidCorkMcManus，almostcoveringthetablewithhiseloquentchestandelbows，“wasthatdeadstraightaboutyouworkin”inthebookbinderyandlivin”athome——andjusthappenin”
inhere——and——andallthatspielyougaveme？“
“Sureitwas，“answeredthegirlwithspirit。“Why，whatdoyouthink？DoyousupposeI”dlietoyou？Godowntotheshopandask”em。Ihandedittoyouonthelevel。”
“Onthedeadlevel？“saidCork。“That”sthewayIwantit；
because”
“Becausewhat？“
“Ithrowupmyhands，“saidCork。“You”vegotmegoin”。You”rethegirlI”vebeenlookin”for。Willyoukeepcompanywithme，Ruby？“
“Wouldyoulikemeto——Eddie？“
“Surestthing。ButIwantedastraightstoryabout——aboutyourself，youknow。Whenafellowhadagirl——asteadygirl——she”sgottobeallright，youknow。She”sgottobestraightgoods。”
“You”llfindI”llbestraightgoods，Eddie。”
“Ofcourseyouwill。Ibelievewhatyoutoldme。Butyoucan”tblamemeforwantin”tofindout。Youdon”tseemanygirlssmokin”
cigarettesinplaceslikeRooney”saftermidnightthatarelikeyou。”
Thegirlflushedalittleandloweredhereyes。“Iseethatnow，“shesaidmeekly。“Ididn”tknowhowbaditlooked。ButIwon”tdoitanymore。AndI”llgostraighthomeeverynightandstaythere。
AndI”llgiveupcigarettesifyousayso，Eddie——I”llcut”emoutfromthisminuteon。”
Cork”sairbecamejudicial，proprietary，condemnatory，yetsympathetic。
“Aladycansmoke，“hedecided，slowly，“attimesandplaces。Why？
Becauseit”sbein”aladythathelpsherpullitoff。”
“I”mgoingtoquit。There”snothingtoit，“saidthegirl。Sheflickedthestubofhercigarettetothefloor。
“Attimesandplaces，“repeatedCork。“WhenIcallroundforyouofevenin”swe”llhuntoutadarkbenchinStuyvesantSquareandhaveapuffortwo。ButnomoreRooney”satoneo”clock——see？“
“Eddie，doyoureallylikeme？“Thegirlsearchdhishardbutfrankfeatureseagerlywithanxiouseyes。
“Onthedeadlevel。”
“Whenareyoucomingtoseeme——whereIlive？“
“Thursday——dayafterto-morrowevenin”。Thatsuityou？“
“Fine。I”llbereadyforyou。Comeaboutseven。Walktothedoorwithmeto-nightandI”llshowyouwhereIlive。Don”tforget，now。
Anddon”tyougotoseeanyothergirlsbeforethen，mister！Ibetyouwill，though。”
“Onthedeadlevel，“saidCork，“youmake”emalllooklikerag-
dollstome。Honest，youdo。IknowwhenI”msuited。Onthedeadlevel，Ido。”
Againstthefrontdoordown-stairsrepeatedheavyblowsweredelivered。Theloudcrashesresoundedintheroomabove。Onlyatrip-hammerorapoliceman”sfootcouldhavebeentheauthorofthosesounds。Rooneyjumpedlikeabullfrogtoacorneroftheroom，turnedofftheelectriclightsandhurriedswiftlybelow。
Theroomwasleftutterlydarkexceptforthewinkingredglowofcigarsandcigarettes。Asecondvolleyofcrashescameupfromtheassaulteddoor。Alittle，rustling，murmuringpanicmovedamongthebesiegedguests。Frank，cool，smooth，reassuring，couldbeseenintherosyglowoftheburningtobacco，goingfromtabletotable。
“Allkeepstill！“washiscaution。“Don”ttalkormakeanynoise！
Everythingwillbeallright。Now，don”tfeeltheslightestalarm。
We”lltakecareofyouall。”