Foranhourhesatthere，talkingon，mostofitaprettydullkindofdrivel。Mrs。Brindleylistenedpatiently，becauseshelikedhimandbecauseshehadnothingelsetodountilbedtime。Atlastherosewithalongsighandsaid：
　　``IguessImightaswellbegoing。’’
　　``She’llnotcomeinto-nightagain，’’saidCyrillaslyly。
　　Helaughed。``Youareagoodone。I’llownup，I’vebeenstayingonpartlyinthehopethatshe’dcomeback。Butit’sbeenagreatjoytotalktoyouabouther。Iknowyouloveher，too。’’
　　``Yes，I’mextremelyfondofher，’’saidshe。``I’venotknownmanywomen——manypeoplewithoutpettymeantricks。She’sone。’’
　　``Isn’tshe，though？’’exclaimedhe。
　　``Idon’tmeanshe’sperfect，’’saidMrs。Brindley。
　　``Idon’tevenmeanthatshe’sasangelicasyouthinkher。I’dnotlikeher，ifshewere。Butshe’sasuperiorkindofhuman。’’
　　Shewastiredofhimnow，andgothimoutspeedily。
　　Assheclosedthefrontdooruponhim，Mildred’sdoor，downthehall，opened。Herheadappeared，aninquiringlookuponherface。Mrs。Brindleynodded。Mil-
　　dred，herhairdoneclosetoherhead，adressing-robeoverhernightgownandherbarefeetinlittleslippers，camedownthehall。Shecoiledherselfupinabigchairinthelibraryandlitacigarette。Shelookedlikeahandsomeyoungboy。
　　``Hetoldyou？’’shesaidtoMrs。Brindley。
　　``Yes，’’repliedCyrilla。
　　Silence。Inalltheirintimateacquaintancetherehadneverbeenanapproachtotheconfidentialoneitherside。ItwasCyrilla’snotionthatconfidenceswereamistake，andthatthemorecloselypeoplewerethrowntogetherthemoreresolutelytheyoughttokeepcertainbarriersbetweenthem。SheandMildredgotontooadmirably，likedeachothertoowell，fortheretobeanytriflingwiththeirrelations——andover-intimacyinevitablyledtotrifling。MildredhadrestrainedherselfbecauseMrs。Brindleyhadcompelleditbyrigidexample。Oftenshehadlongedtotalkthingsover，toaskadvice。butshehadneverventuredfurtherthangeneralities，andMrs。Brindleyhadneverprofferedadvice，hadneveracceptedopportunitiestogiveitexceptinthevaguestway。ShehadtaughtMildredagreatdeal，butalwaysbyexample，bydoing，neverbysayingwhatoughtoroughtnottobedone。Thus，suchdevelopmentofMildred’scharacterastherehadbeenwasnaturalandpermanent。
　　``Hehasputmeinapeculiarposition，’’saidMildred。``Or，rather，Ihaveletmyselfdriftintoapeculiarposition。ForIthinkyou’rerightinsayingthatoneselfisalwaystoblame。Won’tyouletmetalkaboutittoyou，please？Iknowyouhateconfidences。
　　ButI’vegotto——totalk。I’dlikeyoutoadviseme，ifyoucan。Butevenifyoudon’t，it’lldomegoodtosaythingsaloud。’’
　　``Oftenoneseesmoreclearly，’’wasCyrilla’sreply——
　　noncommittal，yetnotdiscouraging。
　　``I’mfreetomarryhim，’’Mildredwenton。``Thatis，I’mnotmarried。I’drathernotexplain——’’
　　``Don’t，’’saidMrs。Brindley。``It’sunnecessary。’’
　　``Youknowthatit’sStanleywhohasbeenlendingmethemoneytoliveonwhileIstudy。Well，fromthebeginningI’vebeenafraidI’dfindmyselfinadifficultposition。’’
　　``Naturally，’’saidMrs。Brindley，asshepaused。
　　``ButI’vealwaysexpectedittocomeinanotherway——notaboutmarriage，but——’’
　　``Iunderstand，’’saidMrs。Brindley。``Youfearedyou’dbecalledontopayinthewaywomenusuallypaydebtstomen。’’
　　Mildrednodded。``ButthisisworsethanIexpected——muchworse。’’
　　``Ihadn’tthoughtofthat，’’saidCyrilla。``Yes，you’reright。Ifhehadhintedtheotherthing，youcouldhavepretendednottounderstand。Ifhehadsuggestedit，youcouldhavemadehimfeelcheapandmean。’’
　　``Idid，’’saidMildred。``Hehasbeen——reallywonderful——betterthanalmostanymanwouldhavebeen——
　　moreconsideratethanIdeserved。AndItookadvantageofit。’’
　　``Awomanhasto，’’saidCyrilla。``Thefightbetweenmenandwomenissounequal。’’
　　``Itookadvantageofhim，’’repeatedMildred。
　　``Andheapologized，andI——Iwentontakingthemoney。Ididn’tknowwhatelsetodo。Isn’tthatdreadful？’’
　　``Nothingtobeproudof，’’saidCyrilla。``Butaveryusualtransaction。’’
　　``Andthen，’’pursuedMildred，``IdiscoveredthatI——thatI’dnotbeabletomakeacareer。ButstillIkepton，thoughI’vebeentryingtoforcemyselfto——
　　toshowsomeprideandself-respect。Idiscovereditonlyashorttimeago，anditwasn’treallyuntilto-daythatIwasabsolutelysure。’’
　　``YouAREsure？’’
　　``There’shardlyadoubt，’’repliedMildred。``Butnevermindthatnow。I’vegottomakealivingatsomething，andwhileI’mlearningwhateveritis，I’vegottohavemoneytoliveon。AndIcangetitonlyfromhim。Now，heasksmetomarryhim。Hewouldn’taskmeifhedidn’tthinkIwasgoingtobeagreatsinger。Hedoesn’tknowit，butIdo。’’
　　Mrs。Brindleysmiledsweetly。
　　``AndhethinksthatIlovehim，also。IfIaccepthim，itwillbeunderdoublyfalsepretenses。IfIrefusehimI’vegottostoptakingthemoney。’’
　　Alongsilence。thenMrs。Brindleysaid：``Women——
　　thegoodones，too——oftenfeelthatthey’vearighttotreatmenasmentreatthem。Ithinkalmostanywomanwouldfeeljustifiedinputtingoffthecrisis。’’
　　``Youmean，ImighttellhimI’dgivehimmyanswerwhenIwasindependentandhadpaidback。’’
　　Cyrillanodded。Mildredrelithercigarette，whichshehadletgoout。``Ihadthoughtofthat，’’saidshe。
　　``But——Idoubtifhe’dtolerateit。Also’’——shelaughedwiththepeculiarintonationthataccompaniestheliftingoftheveiloveradeeplyandcarefullyhiddencornerofone’ssecretself——``Iamafraid。IfIdon’tmarryhim，inafewweeks，ormonthsatmost，he’llprobablyfindoutthatIshallneverbeagreatsinger，andthenI’dnotbeabletomarryhimifIwishedto。’’
　　``HeISatemptation，’’saidCyrilla。``Thatis，hismoneyis——andhepersonallyisverynice。’’
　　``ImarriedamanIdidn’tcarefor，’’pursuedMildred。``Idon’twantevertodothatagain。Itis——
　　eveninthebestcircumstances——notagreeable，notassimpleasitlookstotheinexperiencedgirlswhoarealwaysdoingit。’’
　　``Still，awomancanendurethatsortofthing，’’saidMrs。Brindley，``unlessshehappenstobeinlovewithanotherman。’’ShewasobservingtheunconsciousMildrednarrowly，astateofinwardtensionandexcitementhintedinherface，butnotinhervoice。
　　``That’sjustit？’’saidMildred，herfacecarefullyaverted。``I——Ihappentobeinlovewithanotherman。’’
　　AspasmofpaincrossedCyrilla’sface。
　　``Amanwhocaresnothingaboutme——andneverwill。He’sjustafriend——somuchthefriendthathecouldn’tpossiblythinkofmeas——asawoman，needinghimandwantinghim’’——hereyeswereonfirenow，andasoftglowhadcomeintohercheeks——``andneverdaringtoshowitbecauseifIdidhewouldflyandneverletmeseehimagain。’’
　　CyrillaBrindley’sfacewastragicasshelookedatthebeautifulgirl，sogracefullyadjustedtothebigchair。Shesighedcovertly。``Youarelovely，’’shesaid，``andyoung——aboveall，young。’’
　　``Thismanispeculiar，’’repliedMildredforlornly。
　　``Anyhow，hedoesn’twantME。Heknowsmeforthefutile，weak，worthlesscreatureIam。Hesawthroughmybluff，evenbeforeIsawthroughitmyself。Ifitweren’tforhim，Icouldgoahead——dothesensiblething——doaswomenusuallydo。But——’’Shecametoafullstop。
　　``Loveisawoman’ssenseofhonor，’’saidCyrillasoftly。``We’remercilessandunscrupulous——anything——
　　everything——wherewedon’tlove。Butwherewedolove，we’llgofartherforhonorthanthemosthonorableman。That’swhywe’rebothworseandbetterthanmen——andseemtobesocontradictoryandpuzzling。’’
　　``I’ddoanythingforhim，’’saidMildred。Shesmileddrearily。``Andhewantsnothing。’’
　　Shehadnothingmoretosay。ShehadtalkedherselfoutaboutStanley，andhermindwasnowfilledwiththoughtsthatcouldnotbespoken。Assherosetogotobed，shelookedappealinglyatCyrilla。Then，withasuddenandshyrushsheflungherarmsroundherandkissedher。``Thankyou——somuch，’’shesaid。
　　``You’vedonemeaworldofgood。SayingitalloutloudbeforeYOUhasmademesee。Iknowmyownmind，now。’’
　　ShedidnotnotethepathetictendernessofCyrilla’sfaceasshesaid，``Goodnight，Mildred。’’Butshedidnotetheuseofherfirstname——andherownrightfirstname——forthefirsttimesincetheyhadknowneachother。Sheembracedandkissedheragain。``Goodnight，Cyrilla，’’shesaidgratefully。
　　AssheenteredJennings’sstudiothenextdayhelookedather。andwhenJenningslooked，hesaw——asmustanyonewholiveswellbyplayinguponhumannature。
　　Hedidnotlikeherexpression。Shedidnothabituallysmile。herlight-heartedness，heroptimism，didnotshowthemselvesinthatinaneway。Butthisseriousnessofherswasofanewkind，ofthekindthatbespeakssobrietyandsanenessofsoul。Andthatkindofseriousness——
　　thedeep，inwardgravityofapersonwhosedaysoftriflingwiththemselvesandwiththefactsoflife，andofbeingtrifledwith，areover——wouldhaveimpressedJenningsequallyhadshecomeinlaughing，hadhereverywordbeenajest。
　　``No，Ididn’tcomeforalesson——atleastnottheusualkind，’’saidshe。
　　Hewasnotonetoyieldwithoutastruggle。Alsohewishedtofeelhiswaytothemeaningofthisnewmood。Heputhermusicontherack。``We’llbeginwherewe——’’
　　``Thishalf-hourofyourtimeismine，isitnot？’’
　　saidshequietly。``Let’snotwasteanyofit。YesterdayyoutoldmethatIcouldnothopetomakeacareerbecausemyvoiceisunreliable。Whyisitunreliable？’’
　　``Becauseyouhaveadelicatethroat，’’repliedhe，yieldingatoncewhereheinstinctivelyknewhecouldnotwin。
　　``ThenwhycanIsingsowellsometimes？’’
　　``Becauseyourthroatisingoodconditionsomedays——inperfectcondition。’’
　　``It’sthecoldsthen——andtheslightattacksofcolds？’’
　　``Certainly。’’
　　``IfIdidnotcatchcolds——ifIkeptperfectlywell——couldIrelyonmyvoice？’’
　　``Butthat’simpossible，’’saidhe。
　　``Why？’’
　　``You’renotstrongenough。’’
　　``ThenIhaven’tthephysicalstrengthforacareer？’’
　　``That——andalsoyouarelackinginmusculardevelopment。Butafterseveralyearsoflessons——’’
　　``IfIdevelopedmymuscles——ifIbecamestrong——’’
　　``Mostofthegreatsingerscomefromthelowerclasses——frompeoplewhodomanuallabor。Theydidmanuallaborintheiryouth。Yougirlsofthebetterclasshavetoovercomethathandicap。’’
　　``Butsomanyofthegreatsingersarefat。’’
　　``Yes，andunderthatfatyou’llfindgreatropesofmuscle——likeablacksmith。’’
　　``WhatKeithmeant，’’shesaid。``Iwonder——
　　WhydoIcatchcoldsoeasily？WhydoIalmostalwayshaveaslightcatchinthethroat？HaveyounoticedthatInearlyalwayshavetoclearmythroatjustalittle？’’
　　Herexpressionheldhim。Hehesitated，triedtoevade，gaveitup。``Untilthatpasses，youcanneverhopetobeathoroughlyreliablesinger，’’saidhe。
　　``Thatis，Ican’thopetomakeacareer？’’
　　Hissilencewasassent。
　　``ButIhavethevoice？’’
　　``Youhavethevoice。’’
　　``Anunusualvoice？’’
　　``Yes，butnotsounusualasmightbethought。Asamatteroffact，therearethousandsoffinevoices。
　　Thetroubleisinreliability。Onlyafewarereliable。’’
　　Shenoddedslowlyandthoughtfully。``IbegintounderstandwhatMr。Keithmeant，’’shesaid。``I
　　begintoseewhatIhavetodo，andhow——howimpossibleitis。’’
　　``Bynomeans，’’declaredJennings。``IfIdidnotthinkotherwise，I’dnotbegivingmytimetoyou。’’
　　Shelookedathimgravely。Hiseyesshifted，thenreturneddefiantly，aggressively。Shesaid：
　　``Youcan’thelpmetowhatIwant。Sothisismylastlesson——forthepresent。Imaycomebacksomeday——whenIamreadyforwhatyouhavetogive。’’
　　``Youaregoingtogiveup？’’
　　``Oh，no——oh，dearme，no，’’repliedshe。``Irealizethatyou’relaughinginyoursleeveasIsayso，becauseyouthinkI’llnevergetanywhere。Butyou——andMr。Keith——maybemistaken。’’Shedrewfromhermuffapieceofmusic——the``BattiBatti，’’from``DonGiovanni。’’``Ifyouplease，’’saidshe，``we’llspendtherestofmytimeingoingoverthis。Iwanttobeabletosingitaswellaspossible。’’
　　Helookedsearchinglyather。``Ifyouwish，’’saidhe。``ButIdoubtifyou’llbeabletosingatall。’’
　　``Onthecontrary，mycold’sentirelygone，’’repliedshe。``Ihadanexcitingevening，IdoctoredmyselfbeforeIwenttobed，andthreeorfourtimesinthenight。
　　Ifound，thismorning，thatIcouldsing。’’
　　Anditwasso。Neverhadshesungbetter。``Likeatrueartist！’’hedeclaredwithanenthusiasmthathadafoundationofsincerity。``Youknow，MissStevens，youcameveryneartohavingthatrarestofallgifts——
　　anaturallyplacedvoice。Ifyouhadn’thadsingingteachersasagirltomakeyouself-consciousandtoteachyouwrong，you’dhavebeenawonder。’’
　　``Imaygetitback，’’saidMildred。
　　``Thatneverhappens，’’repliedhe。``ButIcanalmostdoit。’’
　　Hecoachedherforhalfanhourstraightahead，sendingthenextpupilintotheadjoiningroom——anunprecedentedtransgressionofroutine。Heshowedherforthefirsttimewhatateacherhecouldbe，whenhewished。Therewasanastonishingdifferencebetweenherfirstsingingofthesongandhersixthandlast——fortheywentthroughitcarefullyfivetimes。Shethankedhimandthenputoutherhand，saying：
　　``Thisisalonggood-by。’’
　　``To-morrow，’’repliedhe，ignoringherhand。
　　``No。Mymoneyisallgone。Besides，Ihavenotimeforamateurtrifling。’’
　　``Yourlessonsarepaidforuntiltheendofthemonth。Thisisonlythenineteenth。’’
　　``Thenyouaresomuchin。’’Againsheputoutherhand。
　　Hetookit。``Youowemeanexplanation。’’
　　Shesmiledmockingly。``Asafriendofminesays，don’taskquestionstowhichyoualreadyknowtheanswer。’’
　　Andshedeparted，thesmilestillonhercharmingface，butthenewseriousnessbeneathit。Asshehadanticipated，shefoundStanleyBairdwaitingforherinthedrawing-roomoftheapartment。Beingbyhabitmuchinterestedinhisownemotionsandnotatallintheemotionsofothers，hesawonlythehealthfulradiancethesharpOctoberairhadputintohercheeksandeyes。Certainly，tolookatMildredGowerwastogetnoimpressionoflackofhealthandstrength。Herglancewaveredalittleatsightofhim，thentheexpressionoffirmnesscameback。
　　``Youlooklikethatpictureyougavemealongtimeago，’’saidhe。``Doyourememberit？’’
　　Shedidnot。
　　``Ithasa——differentexpression，’’hewenton。``I
　　don’tthinkI’dhavenoticeditbutforKeith。Ihappenedtoshowittohimoneday，andhestaredatitinthatwayhehas——youknow？’’
　　``Yes，Iknow，’’saidMildred。Shewasseeingthoseuncanny，brilliant，penetratingeyes，insuchstartlingcontrasttothecalm，lifelesscoloringandclassicchiselingoffeatures。
　　``Andafterawhilehesaid，`So，THAT’SMissStevens！’AndIaskedhimwhathemeant，andhetookoneofyourlaterphotosandputthetwosidebyside。
　　Tomynotionthelaterwasalotthemoreattractive，forthefacewasrounderandsofteranddidn’thaveacertainkindof——well，hardness，asifyouhadawillandcouldrideroughshod。Notthatyoulooksofrightfullyunattractive。’’
　　``Irememberthepicture，’’interruptedMildred。``ItwastakenwhenIwastwenty——justafteranillness。’’
　　``ThefaceWASthin，’’saidStanley。``Keithcalledita`giveaway。’’’
　　``I’dliketoseeit，’’saidMildred。
　　``I’lltrytofindit。ButI’mafraidIcan’t。I
　　haven’tseenitsinceIshowedittoKeith，andwhenI
　　huntedforittheotherday，itdidn’tturnup。I’vechangedvaletsseveraltimesinthelastsixmonths——’’
　　ButMildredhadceasedlistening。Keithhadseenthepicture，hadcalledita``giveaway，’’hadbeeninterestedinit——andthepicturehaddisappeared。Shelaughedatherownfolly，yetshewasgladStanleyhadgivenherthischancetomakeupasillyday-dream。
　　Shewaiteduntilhehadexhaustedhimselfonthesubjectofvalets，theirdrunkenness，theirthievishhabits，theirincompetence，thenshesaid：
　　``ItookmylastlessonfromJenningsto-day。’’
　　``What’sthematter？Doyouwanttochange？
　　Youdidn’tsayanythingaboutit？Isn’thegood？’’
　　``Goodenough。ButI’vediscoveredthatmyvoiceisn’treliable，andunlessonehasareliablevoicethere’snochanceforagrand-operacareer——orforcomicopera，either。’’
　　Stanleywasstraightwayallagitationandprotest。
　　``Whoputthatnotioninyourhead？There’snothinginit，Mildred。Jenningsiscrazyaboutyourvoice，andheknows。’’
　　``Jenningsisafterthemoney，’’repliedMildred。
　　``WhatI’msayingisthetruth。Stanley，ourbeautifuldreamofacareerhaswinkedout。’’
　　Hisexpressionwasmostrevealing。
　　``And，’’shewenton，``I’mnotgoingtotakeanymoreofyourmoney——and，ofcourse，I’llpaybackwhatI’veborrowedwhenIcan’’——shesmiled——``whichmaynotbeverysoon。’’
　　``What’sallthisabout，anyhow？’’demandedhe。``I
　　don’tseeanysignofitinyourface。Youwouldn’ttakeitsocoollyifitwereso。’’
　　``Idon’tunderstandwhyI’mnotwringingmyhandsandweeping，’’repliedshe。``EveryfewminutesItellmyselfthatIoughttobe。ButIstayquitecalm。I
　　supposeI’m——sortofstupefied。’’
　　``Doyoureallymeanthatyou’vegivenup？’’criedhe。
　　``It’snousetowastethemoney，Stanley。I’vegotthevoice，andthat’swhatdeceivedusall。Butthere’snothingBEHINDthevoice。Withagreatsingerthegreatnessisinwhat’sbehindthevoice，notinthevoiceitself。’’
　　``Idon’tbelieveawordofit，’’criedheviolently。
　　``You’vebeendiscouragedbyalittlecold。Everybodyhascolds。Why，inthisclimatethecoldsarealwaysgettingtheMetropolitansingersdown。’’
　　``Butthey’vegotstrongthroats，andmythroat’sdelicate。’’
　　``Youmustgotoabetterclimate。Yououghttobeabroad，anyhow。Thatwaspartofmyplan——forustogoabroad——’’Hestoppedinconfusion，reddened，wentbravelyon——``andyoutostudythereandmakeyourdebut。’’
　　Mildredshookherhead。``That’sallover，’’saidshe。
　　``I’vegottochangemyplansentirely。’’
　　``You’realittledepressed，that’sall。Foraminuteyoualmostconvincedme。Whataturnyoudidgiveme！IforgothowyourvoicesoundedthelasttimeIheardit。No，you’dnotbesocalm，ifyoudidn’tknoweverythingwasallright。’’
　　Hereyeslitupwithslyhumor。``PerhapsI’mcalmbecauseIfeelthatmyfuture’ssecureasyourwife。
　　Whatmorecouldawomanask？’’
　　Heforcedanuncomfortablelaugh。``Ofcourse——
　　ofcourse，’’hesaidwithapainfulefforttobeeasyandjocose。
　　``Iknewyou’dmarryme，evenifIcouldn’tsinganote。Iknewyourbeliefinmycareerhadnothingtodowithit。’’
　　Hehesitated，blurtedoutthetruth。``Speakingseriously，thatisn’tquiteso，’’saidhe。``I’vegotmyheartsetonyourmakingagreattear——andIknowyou’lldoit。’’
　　``AndifyouknewIwouldn’t，you’dnotwanttomarryme？’’
　　``Idon’tsaythat，’’protestedhe。``HowcanIsayhowI’dfeelifyouweredifferent？’’
　　Shenodded。``That’ssensible，andit’scandid，’’shesaid。Shelaidherhandimpulsivelyonhisarm。``I
　　DOlikeyou，Stanley。Youhavegotsuchalotofgoodqualities。Don’tworry。I’mnotgoingtoinsistonyourmarryingme。’’
　　``Youdon’thavetodothat，Mildred，’’saidhe。
　　``I’mstaring，ravingcrazyaboutyou，thoughI’madamnfooltoletyouknowit。’’
　　``Yes，itisfoolish，’’saidshe。``Ifyou’dkeptmeworrying——Still，Iguessnot。Butitdoesn’tmatter。
　　Youcanprotestandurgeallyouplease，quitesafely。
　　I’mnotgoingtomarryyou。Nowlet’stalkbusiness。’’
　　``Let’stalkmarriage，’’saidhe。``Iwantthisthingsettled。Youknowyouintendtomarryme，Mildred。
　　Whynotsayso？Whykeepmegaspingonthehook？’’
　　Theyheardthefrontdooropen，andtherustlingofskirtsdownthehall。Mildredcalled：
　　``Mrs。Brindley！Cyrilla！’’
　　AninstantandCyrillaappearedinthedoorway。
　　WhensheandBairdhadshakenhands，Mildredsaid：
　　``Cyrilla，Iwantyoutotelltheexact，honesttruth。
　　Isthereanyhopeforawomanwithadelicatethroattomakeagrand-operacareer？’’
　　Cyrillapaled，lookedpleadinglyatMildred。
　　``Tellhim，’’commandedMildred。
　　``Verylittle，’’saidMrs。Brindley。``But——’’
　　``Don’ttrytosoftenit，’’interruptedMildred。
　　``Thetruth，theplaintruth。’’
　　``You’venorighttodrawmeintothis，’’criedCyrillaindignantly，andshestartedtoleavetheroom。
　　``Iwanthimtoknow，’’saidMildred。``Andhewantstoknow。’’
　　``Irefusetobedrawnintoit，’’Cyrillasaid，anddisappeared。
　　ButMildredsawthatStanleyhadbeenshaken。Sheproceededtoexplaintohimatlengthwhatasinger’scareermeant——thehardships，thedraftsonhealthandstrength，theabsolutenecessityofbeingreliable，ofsingingtrue，ofnotdisappointingaudiences——whatadelicatethroatmeant——howdelicateherthroatwas——howdeficientshewasinthekindofphysicalstrengthneeded——muscularpowerwithendurancebackofit。
　　Whenshefinishedheunderstood。
　　``I’dalwaysthoughtofitasanart，’’hesaidruefully。``Why，it’smostlyhealthandmusclesandthingsthathavenothingtodowithmusic。’’Hewasdazedandoffendedbythisuncoveringofthemechanismoftheart——bythediscoveryofthecoarseandpainfultoil，thegrosslyphysicalbasis，ofwhathadseemedtohimallidealism。Hehadbeenfullofthedelusionsofspontaneityandinspiration，likealllaymen，andallartists，too，exceptthoseofthehigherranks——thosewhohavefoughttheirwayuptotheheightsand，so，havelearnedthatonedoesnotachievethembybeingcaughtuptothemgloriouslyinafierycloud，butbydoggedlyanddirtilyandsweatilytoilingovereveryinchofthecruelclimb。
　　Hesatsilentwhenshehadfinished。Shewaited，thensaid：
　　``Now，yousee。Ireleaseyou，andI’lltakenomoremoneytowaste。’’
　　Helookedatherwithdumbmiserythatsmoteherheart。Thenhisexpressionchanged——totheshining，hungryeyes，theswollenveins，thereddenedcountenance，thewateringlipsofdesire。Heseizedherinhisarms，andinavoicetremblingwithpassion，hecried：
　　``Youmustmarryme，anyhow！I’veGOTtohaveyou，Mildred。’’
　　Ifshehadlovedhim，hisexpression，hisimpassionedvoicewouldhavethrilledher。Butshedidnotlovehim。
　　Ittookallherlikingforhim，andthememoryofallsheowedhim——thatunpaiddebt！——toenablehertopushhimawaygentlyandtosaywithoutanyshowoftherepulsionshefelt：
　　``Stanley，youmustn’tdothat。Andit’suselesstotalkofmarriage。You’regenerous，soyouaretakingpityonme。Butbelieveme，I’llgetalongsomehow。’’
　　``Pity？ItellyouIloveyou，’’hecried，catchingdesperatelyatherhandsandholdingtheminagripshecouldnotbreak。``You’venorighttotreatmelikethis。’’
　　Itwasoneofthoseveiledandstealthyremindersofobligationhabituallyindulgedinbydelicatepeopleseekingrepaymentofthedebt，butshunningthecoarsenessofdirectdemand。Mildredsawheropportunity。
　　Saidshequietly：
　　``Youmeanyouwantmetogivemyselftoyouinpayment，orpartpayment，forthemoneyyou’veloanedme？’’
　　Hereleasedherhandsandsprangup。Hehadmeantjustthat，buthehadnothadthecourage，orthemeanness，orboth，toadmitboldlyhisownsecretwish。
　　Shehadcalculatedonthis——hadcalculatedwell。
　　``Mildred！’’hecriedinashockedvoice。``YOUsolackingindelicacyastosaysuchathing！’’
　　``Ifyoudidn’tmeanthat，Stanley，whatDIDyoumean？’’
　　``Iwasappealingtoourfriendship——our——ourloveforeachother。’’
　　``ThenyoushouldhavewaiteduntilIwasfree。’’
　　``GoodGod！’’hecried，``don’tyouseethat’shopeless？Mildred，besensible——bemerciful。’’
　　``IshallnevermarryamanwhenhecouldjustlysuspectIdidittoliveoffhim。’’
　　``Whatanidea！It’saman’splacetosupportawoman！’’
　　``Iwasspeakingonlyofmyself。_I_can’tdoit。
　　Andit’sabsurdforyouandmetobetalkingaboutloveandmarriagewhenanyonecanseeI’dbemarryingyouonlybecauseIwasafraidtofacepovertyandastruggle。’’
　　Hermannercalmedhimsomewhat。``Ofcourseit’sobviousthatyou’vegottohavemoney，’’saidhe，``andthattheonlywayyoucangetitisbymarriage。Butthere’ssomethingelse，too，andinmyopinionit’stheprincipalthing——wecareforeachother。Whynotbesensible，Mildred？WhynotthankGodthataslongasyouhavetomarry，youcanmarrysomeoneyoucarefor。’’
　　``CouldyoufeelthatIcaredforyou，ifImarriedyounow？’’inquiredshe。
　　``Whynot？I’mnotsoentirelylackinginself-
　　esteem。IfeelthatImustcountforsomething。’’
　　Mildredsatsilentlywonderingatthisphenomenonsoastounding，yetacommonplaceofmasculineegotism。
　　Shehadnoconceptionofthisvanitywhichcausestheman，atwhomthestreetwomansmiles，tofeelflattered，thoughheknowsfullwellwhatsheisandherdirene-
　　cessity。Shecouldnotdoubtthathewasspeakingthetruth，yetshecouldnotbelievethatconceitcouldsobefogcommonsenseinamanwho，forallhisslownessandshallowness，wasmorethanordinarilyshrewd。
　　``EvenifIthoughtIlovedyou，’’saidshe，``I
　　couldn’tbesureinthesecircumstancesthatIwasn’tafteryourmoney。’’
　　``Don’tworryaboutthat，’’repliedhe。``I
　　understandyoubetterthanyouunderstandyourself。’’
　　``Let’sstoptalkingaboutit，’’saidsheimpatiently。
　　``Iwanttoexplaintoyouthebusinesssideofthis。’’
　　Shetookherpursefromthetable。``Herearethepapers。’’Shehandedhimacheckandanote。``I
　　madethemoutatthebankthismorning。ThenoteisforwhatIoweyou——anddrawsinterestatfourpercent。ThecheckisforallthemoneyIhaveleftexceptaboutfourhundreddollars。I’vesomebillsImustpay，andalsoIdidn’tdarequitestripmyself。Thenotemaynotbeworththepaperit’swrittenon，butIhope——’’
　　Beforeshecouldpreventhimhetookthetwopapers，and，holdingthemoutofherreach，torethemtobits。
　　Hereyesgleamedangrily。``Iseeyoudespiseme——asmuchasI’veinvited。But，I’llmakethemoutagainandmailthemtoyou。’’
　　``You’reasillychild，’’saidhegruffly。``We’regoingtobemarried。’’
　　Sheeyedhimwithamusedexasperation。``It’stooabsurd！’’shecried。``AndifIyielded，you’dbetryingtogetoutofit。’’Shehesitatedwhethertotellhimfranklyjusthowshefelttowardhim。Shedecidedagainstit，notthroughconsideration——forawomanfeelsnoconsiderationforamanshedoesnotlove，ifhehasirritatedher——butthroughbeingashamedtosayharshthingstoonewhomsheowedsomuch。``It’suselessforyoutopretendandtoplead，’’shewenton。``I
　　shallnotyield。You’llhavetowaituntilI’mfreeandindependent。’’
　　``You’llmarrymethen？’’
　　``No，’’repliedshe，laughing。``ButI’llbeabletorefuseyouinsuchawaythatyou’llbelieve。’’
　　``Butyou’vegottomarry，Mildred，andrightaway。’’
　　Asuspicionenteredhismindandinstantlygleamedinhiseyes。``Areyouinlovewithsomeoneelse？’’
　　Shesmiledmockingly。
　　``Itlooksasifyouwere，’’hewenton，arguingwithhimselfaloud。``Forifyouweren’tyou’dmarryme，eventhoughyoudidn’tlikeme。Awomaninyourfixsimplycouldn’tkeepherselffromit。IsTHATwhyyou’resocalm？’’
　　``I’mnotmarryinganybody，’’saidshe。
　　``Thenwhatareyougoingtodo？’’
　　``You’llsee。’’
　　Oncemorethepassionatesideofhisnatureshowed——notmerelygrotesque，unattractive，repellent，asinthemoodoflonging，buthideous。AmongmenStanleyBairdpassedforamanofratherarrogantandviolenttemper，butthatmanwhohadseenhimathismostviolentwouldhavebeenamazed。Thetempermenshowtowardmenbearssmallresemblanceeitherinkindorindegreetothetemperofjealouspassiontheyshowtowardthewomanwhobafflesthemorarousestheirsuspicions。andnomanwouldrecognizehismostintimatemanfriend——orhimself——wheninthatparoxysm。
　　Mildredhadseenthismood，gleamingatherthroughamask，inGeneralSiddall。Ithadmadehersickwithfearandrepulsion。InStanleyBairditfirstastoundedher，thenfilledherwithhate。
　　``Stanley！’’shegasped。
　　``WHOisit？’’hegroundoutbetweenhisteeth。
　　Andheseizedhersavagely。
　　``Ifyoudon’treleasemeatonce，’’saidshecalmly，``IshallcallMrs。Brindley，andhaveyouputoutofthehouse。NomatterifIdooweyouallthatmoney。’’
　　``Stop！’’hecried，releasingher。``You’reveryclever，aren’tyou？——turningthatagainstmeandmakingmepowerless。’’
　　``Butforthat，wouldyoudarepresumetotouchme，toquestionme？’’saidshe。
　　Heloweredhisgaze，stoodpantingwiththeefforttosubduehisfury。
　　Shewentbacktoherownroom。Afewhourslatercamealetterofapologyfromhim。Sheanswereditfriendlily，saidshewouldlethimknowwhenshecouldseehimagain，andenclosedanoteandacheck。
　　VIII
　　MILDREDwenttobedthatnightproudofherstrengthofcharacter。Weretheremanywomen——
　　wasthereanyotherwomanshekneworknewabout——
　　whoinherdesperatecircumstanceswouldhavedonewhatshehaddone？Shecouldhavemarriedamanwhowouldhavegivenherwealthandtheverybestsocialposition。Shehadrefusedhim。Shecouldhavecontinuedto``borrow’’fromhimthewherewithaltokeepherinluxuriouscomfortwhileshelookedaboutathereaseforapositionthatmeantindependence。
　　Shehadthrustthetemptationfromher。Allthisfrompurelyhigh-mindedmotives。forothermotivetherecouldbenone。Shewenttosleep，confidentthatonthemorrowshewouldcontinuetotreadthepathofself-
　　respectwithunfalteringfeet。Butwhenmorningcameherthroatwasoncemoreslightlyoff——enoughtomakeitwisetopostponetheexcursioninsearchofatrialformusicalcomedy。Theexcitementorthereactionfromexcitement——itmustbetheoneortheother——
　　hadresultedinweaknessshowingitself，naturally，atherweakestpoint——thatdelicatethroat。Whenlifewascalmandorderly，andhermindwasatpeace，thetroublewouldpass，andshecouldgetapositionofsomekind。Notthecareershehaddreamed。thatwasimpossible。Butshehadvoiceenoughforalittlepart，wherealivingcouldbemade。andperhapsshewouldpresentlyfathomthesecretofthecauseofherdelicatethroatandwouldbeabletogofar——possiblyasfarasshehaddreamed。
　　Thedelayofafewdayswasirritating。Shewouldhavepreferredtopushstraighton，whilehercouragewastaut。Still，thedelayhadoneadvantage——shecouldpreparethedetailsofherplan。So，insteadofgoingtotheofficeofthetheatricalmanager——Crossley，themostsuccessfulproduceroflight，musicalpiecesofallkinds——shewenttocallonseveralofthegirlssheknewwhoweremoreorlessintouchwithmatterstheatrical。Andshefoundoutjusthowtoproceedtowardaccomplishingapurposewhichoughtnottobedifficultforonewithsuchavoiceashersandwithphysicalcharmspeculiarlyfittedforstageexhibition。
　　NotuntilSaturdaywashervoiceatitsbestagain。
　　She，naturally，decidednottogotothetheatricalofficeonMonday，buttowaituntilshehadseenandtalkedwithKeith。Onemoredaydidnotmatter，andKeithmightbestimulating，mightevenhavesomeusefulsuggestionstooffer。Shereceivedhimwithamannerthatwasaversion，andamostcharmingversion，ofhisowntranquilindifference。Buthisfirstremarkthrewherintoapanic。Saidhe：
　　``I’veonlyafewminutes。No，thanks，I’llnotsit。’’
　　``Youneedn’thavebotheredtocome，’’saidshecoldly。
　　``Ialwayskeepmyengagements。Bairdtellsmeyouhavegivenupthearrangementyouhadwithhim。
　　You’llprobablybemovingfromhere，asyou’llnothavethemoneytostayon。Sendmeyournewaddress，please。’’Hetookapaperfromhispocketandgaveittoher。``Youwillfindthisuseful——ifyouareinearnest，’’saidhe。``Good-by，andgoodluck。I’llhopetoseeyouinafewweeks。’’
　　Beforeshehadrecoveredherselfintheleast，shewasstandingtherealone，thepaperinherhand，herstupefiedgazeuponthedoorthroughwhichhehaddisappeared。
　　Allhismovementsandhisspeechhadbeenofhiscustomary，hisinvariable，deliberateness。butshehadtheimpressionofwhirlingandrushinghaste。
　　Withalonggaspingsighshefelltotremblingallover。
　　Shespedtoherroom，gotitsdoorsafelyclosedjustintime。Downshesankuponthebed，togivewaytoanattackofhysterics。
　　Weareconstantlyfindingourselvesputtingforththelovelyflowersandfruitofthevirtueswhereoftheheroesandheroinesofromancearesoprolific。Usuallynothingoccurstodisillusionusaboutourselves。Butnowandthenfate，inunusuallybrutalironicmood，forcesustoseetherealreasonwhywedidthisorthatvirtuous，self-sacrificingaction，orblossomedforthinthisorthatnobilityofcharacter。Mildredwasdestinednowtosufferoneofthesesavageblowsofdisillusionmentaboutselfthatthrustusdownfromtheexaltedmoralheightswherewehavebeenpreeningintohumblekinshipwiththeweakandfrailhumanrace。ShesawwhyshehadrefusedStanley，whyshehadstopped``borrowing，’’whyshehadputoffgoingtothetheatricalmanagers，whyshehaddelayedmovingintoquarterswithinherdiminishedandrapidlydiminishingmeans。ShehadbeencountingonDonaldKeith。Shehadconvincedherselfthathelovedherevenasshelovedhim。Hewouldflingawayhiscoldreserve，wouldburstintorapturesoverhervirtueandhercourage，wouldaskhertomarryhim。Or，ifheshouldputoffthat，hewouldatleastundertaketheresponsibilityofgettingherstartedinhercareer。Well！Hehadcome。hehadshownthatStanleyhadtoldhimallorpracticallyall。andhehadgone，withoutaskingasympatheticquestionormakinganencouragingremark。Asindifferentasheseemed。Burntout，cold，heartless。
　　Shehadleaneduponhim。hehadslippedaway，leavinghertofallpainfully，andludicrously，totheground。
　　Shehadbeenboastingtoherselfthatshewasstrong，thatshewouldofherownstrengthestablishherselfinindependence。Shehadnotdreamedthatshewouldbecalleduponto``makegood。’’SheravedagainstKeith，againstherself，againstfate。Andabovethechaosandthewreckwithinher，roundandround，hitherandyon，flappedandshiedtheblackthought，``WhatSHALLIdo？’’
　　Whenshesatupanddriedhereyes，shechancedtoseethepaperKeithhadleft。withwonderatherhavingforgottenitandwithathrobofhopesheopenedandbegantoreadhissmall，difficultwriting：
　　Acareermeansself-denial。Notoccasional，intermittent，butsteady，constant，daily，hourly——apurposethatneverrelaxes。
　　Acareerasasingermeansnotonlytheroutine，thepatienttediouswork，thecuttingoutoftime-wastingpeopleandtime-wastingpleasuresthatarenecessarytoanyandallcareers。Itmeansinaddition——forsuchaperson——
　　sacrificesfarbeyondacharactersoundisciplinedandsocorruptedbyconventionallifeasisyours。Thebasisofasingingcareerishealthandstrength。Youmusthavegreatphysicalstrengthtobeabletosingoperas。Youmusthaveperfecthealth。
　　Dietandexercise。Aroutinelife，itsroutinerigidlyadheredto，dayinanddayout，monthaftermonth，yearafteryear。Smallanduninterestingandmonotonousfood，nothingtodrink，and，ofcourse，nocigarettes。Suchisthesecretofareliablevoiceforyouwhohavea``delicatethroat’’——whichisthesilly，shallow，andmisleadingwayofsayingadelicatedigestion，forsorethroatalwaysmeansindigestion，nevermeansanythingelse。Tosing，theinstrument，theabsolutelymaterialmachine，mustbeinperfectorder。Therestiseasy。
　　Somesingerscancommitindiscretionsofdietandoflackofexercise。Butnotyou，becauseyoulackthisnaturalstrength。Donotbedeceivedandmisledbytheirexample。
　　Exercise。Youmustmakeyourbodystrong，powerful。
　　Youhavenotthemusclesbynature。Youmustacquirethem。
　　Thefollowingroutineofdietandexercisemadeoneofthegreatsingers，andkepthergreatforaquarterofacentury。
　　Ifyouadoptit，withoutvariation，youcanmakeacareer。
　　Ifyoudonot，youneednothopeforanythingbutfailureandhumiliation。Withinmyknowledgesixty-eightyoungmenandyoungwomenhavestartedinonthissystem。Notonehadthecharactertopersisttosuccess。Thismaysuggestwhy，excepttwowhoareattheverytop，allofthegreatsingersaremenandwomenwhomnaturehasmadepowerfulofbodyandofdigestion——sopowerfulthattheirindiscretionsonlyoccasionallymakethemunreliable。
　　ThereMildredstoppedandflungthepaperaside。
　　Shedidnotcareeventoglanceattheexercisespre-
　　scribedoratthedietandtheroutineofdailywork。
　　Howdullanduninspired！Howgrosslymaterial！
　　Stomach！Chewing！Exercisingmachines！Ploddingdrearymilesdaily，rainorshine！Whatcouldsuchthingshavetodowiththefreeandgloriouscareerofaninspiredsinger？Keithwaslaughingatherashehastenedaway，abandoninghertoherfate。
　　Sheexaminedherselfintheglasstomakesurethattheravagesofherattackofrageandgriefanddespaircouldbeeffacedwithinafewhours，thenshewroteanote——formalyetfriendly——toStanleyBaird，informinghimthatshewouldreceivehimthatevening。HecamewhileCyrillaandMildredwerehavingtheirafter，dinnercoffeeandcigarettes。Hewasamanwhotookgreatpainswithhisclothes，andgotthemwherepainswasnotinvain。Thateveninghehadarrayedhimselfwithunusualcare，andtheresultwasafine，manlyfigureofthewell-bredNew-Yorkertype。CertainlyStanleyhadgroundforhisfeelingthathedeservedandgotlikingforhimself。Thethreesatinthelibraryforperhapshalfanhour，thenMrs。Brindleyrosetoleavetheothertwoalone。Mildredurgedhertostay——MildredwhohadbeenimpatientofherpresencewhenStanleywasannounced。UrgedhertostayinsuchatonethatCyrillacouldnotpersist，buthadtositdownagain。
　　Asthethreetalkedonandon，MildredcontinuedtopicturelifewithStanley——continuedthevividpicturingshehadbegunwithintenminutesofStanley’sentering，thepicturingthathadcausedhertoinsistonCyrilla’sremainingaschaperon。AyounggirlcandonosuchpicturingasMildredcouldnotavoiddoing。Totheyounggirlmarriedlife，itstete-a-tetes，itsintimacies，itsroutine，areallablank。Anyattemptshemakestofillindetailsgoesfarastray。ButMildred，withStanleytherebeforeher，couldseeherlifeasitwouldbe。
　　Towardhalf-pastten，Stanleysaid，shame-facedandpleading，``Mildred，IshouldliketoseeyoualoneforjustaminutebeforeIgo。’’
　　MildredsaidtoCyrilla：``No，don’tmove。We’llgointothedrawing-room。’’
　　Hefollowedherthere，andwhenthesoundofMrs。
　　Brindley’sstepinthehallhaddiedaway，hebegan：
　　``IthinkIunderstandyoualittlenow。Ishan’tinsultyoubyreturningordestroyingthatnoteorthecheck。Iacceptyourdecision——unlessyouwishtochangeit。’’Helookedatherwitheagerappeal。Hisheartwastrembling，wassickwithapprehension，withthesenseofweakness，ofdangerandgloomahead。
　　``Whyshouldn’tIhelpyou，atleast，Mildred？’’heurged。
　　Whencethecouragecamesheknewnot，butthroughherchokingthroatsheforcedapositive，``No。’’
　　``And，’’hewenton，``ImeantwhatIsaid。Iloveyou。I’mwretchedwithoutyou。Iwantyoutomarryme，careerornocareer。’’
　　Herfearswereclamorous，butsheforcedherselftosay，``Ican’tchange。’’
　　``Ihoped——alittle——thatyousentmethenoteto-
　　daybecauseyou——Youdidn’t？’’
　　``No，’’saidMildred。``Iwantustobefriends。
　　Butyoumustkeepaway。’’
　　Hebenthishead。``ThenI’llgo’wayoffsomewhere。
　　Ican’tbearbeinghereinNewYorkandnotseeingyou。AndwhenI’vebeenawayayearorso，perhapsI’llgetcontrolofmyselfagain。’’
　　Goingaway！——totrytoforget！——nodoubt，tosucceedinforgetting！Thenthiswasherlastchance。
　　``MustIgo，Mildred？Won’tyourelent？’’
　　``Idon’tloveyou——andInevercan。’’Shewasdeathlywhiteandtrembling。Sheliftedhereyestobeginaretreat，forhercouragehadquiteoozedaway。
　　Hewaslookingather，hisfacedistortedwithaminglingofthepassionofdesireandthepassionofjealousy。
　　Sheshrank，caughtatthebackofachairforsupport，feltsuddenlystronganddefiant。Tobethisman’splaything，tosubmittohismoods，tohisjealousies，tohiscaprices——tobehistofumbleandcaress，histohavethefuryofhispassionwreakitselfuponherwithnoresponsefromherbutonlyrepulsionandloathing——andthelongdrearyhoursanddaysandyearsalonewithhim，listeningtohiscommonplaces，oftensotedious，forcedtotrytoamusehimandtokeephiminagoodhumorbecauseheheldthepurse-
　　strings——
　　``Pleasego，’’shesaid。
　　Shewasstillveryyoung，stillhadyearsandyearsofyouthunspent。Surelyshecouldfindsomethingbetterthanthis。Surelylifemustmeansomethingmorethanthis。Atleastitwasworthatrial。
　　Heheldouthishand。Shegavehimherreluctantandcoldfingers。Hesaidsomething，whatshedidnothear，forthebloodwasroaringinherearsastheroomswamround。Hewasgone，andthenextthingshedefinitelyknewshewasatthethresholdofCyrilla’sroom。Cyrillagaveheratenderlysympatheticglance。
　　Shesawherselfinamirrorandknewwhy。herfacewasgrayanddrawn，andhereyeslaydullydeepwithindarkcircles。
　　``Icouldn’tdoit，’’shesaid。``Isentforhimtomarryhim。ButIcouldn’t。’’
　　``I’mglad，’’saidCyrilla。``Marriagewithoutloveisalastresort。Andyou’realongwayfromlastresorts。’’
　　``Youdon’tthinkI’mcrazy？’’
　　``Ithinkyou’vewonagreatvictory。’’
　　``Victory！’’AndMildredlaugheddolefully。``Ifthisisvictory，IhopeI’llneverknowdefeat。’’
　　WhydidMildredrefuseStanleyBairdandcutherselfofffromhim，evenafterherhopesofDonaldKeithdiedthroughlackoffood，realorimaginary？Itwouldbegratifyingtoofferthisasacaseofpurecourageandhighprinciple，untaintedofthemotiveswhichgovernordinaryhumanactions。Butunluckilythisisabiography，notaromance，ahistoryandnotaeulogy。
　　AndMildredGowerisahumanbeing，evenasyouandI，notagalvanizedembodimentofsuperhumanvirtuessuchasyouandIarepretendingtobe，perhapseventoourselves。Theexplanationofherstrangeaberration，whichwillbedoubtedorsecretlycondemnedbyeverywomanoftheshelteredclasseswholovesherdependenceandseekstodisguiseitassomethingsweetandfineand``womanly’’——theexplanationofheralmostinsaneactofrenunciationofallthataladyholdsmostdearissimpleenough，puzzlingthoughshefoundit。Ignorance，whichaccountsforsomuchofthesqualidfailureinhumanlife，accountsalsoformuchifnotallthemostsplendidaudaciousachievement。Veryoften——very，veryoften——theimpossibilitiesareachievedbythosewhointheirignoranceadvancenotboldlybutunconcernedlywhereawisermanorwomanwouldshrinkandretreat。Fortunateindeedisheorshewhoinacrisisisbychanceequippedwithneithertoolittlenortoomuchknowledge——whoknowsenoughtoenablehimtoadvance，butdoesnotknowenoughtoappreciatehowperilous，howfoolhardy，howharshandcruel，advancewillbe。Mildredwasinthisinstancethusfortunate——unfortunate，shewaspresentlytothinkit。
　　Sheknewenoughaboutlovelessmarriagetoshrinkfromit。Shedidnotknowenoughaboutwhatpoverty，moneylessness，andfriendlessnessmeanintheactualitytoawomanbredasshehadbeen。Sheimaginedsheknew——andsickathearthernotionofpovertymadeher。Butimaginationwasonlyfaintestforeshadowingofactuality。Ifshehadknown，shewouldhaveyieldedtothetemptationthatwasalmosttoostrongforher。Andifshehadyielded——whatthen？
　　Notsucharepulsivelot，asourcomfortableclasseslookatit。Plentytoeatanddrinkandtowear，servantsandequipagesandfinehousesandfinesociety，theenvyofhergapingkind——acomfortablelifeforthebody，acomfortabledeathformindandheart，slowlyandsoftlysuffocatedinluxury。Partlythroughknowledgethatstronglyaffectedhercharacter，whichwasonthewholeaspiringandsensitivebeyondtheaveragetothetrueandthebeautiful，partlythroughignorancethatveiledthefuturefromhernonetoovalorousandhardyheart，shedidnotyieldtothetemptation。Andthus，insteadofdying，shebegantolive，forwhatislifebutgrowthinexperience，instrengthandknowledgeandcapability？
　　Ababyenterstheworldscreamingwithpain。Thefirstsensationsoflivingareagonizing。Itisthesamewiththebirthofsouls，forasoulisnotreallybornuntilthatdaywhenitisofferedchoicebetweenlifeanddeathandchooseslife。InMildredGower’scasethisbirthwasanagony。Sheawokethefollowingmorningwithadullheadache，afaintingheart，andathroatsosorethatshefeltapainfulcatchwhenevershetriedtoswallow。Sheusedthespray。shemassagedherthroatandneckvigorously。Invain。itwasfollytothinkofgoingwhereshemighthavetoriskatrialofhervoicethatday。Thesunwasbrilliantandtheairsharpwithoutbeinghumidortoocold。Shedressed，breakfasted，wentoutforawalk。Thethroatgrewworse，thenbetter。Shereturnedforluncheon，andafterwardbegantothinkofpacking，notthatshehadchosenanewplace，butbecauseshewishedtohavesomesortofasenseofaction。Butherunhappinessdroveheroutagain——totheparkwheretheairwasfineandshecouldwalkincomparativesolitude。
　　``WhatasillyfoolIam！’’thoughtshe。``WhydidIdothisintheworst，thehardestpossibleway？I
　　shouldhaveheldontoStanleyuntilIhadaposition。
　　No，I’msuchapoorcreaturethatIcouldneverhavedoneitinthatway。I’dsimplyhavekeptonbluffing，foolingmyself，puttingoffandputtingof。Ihadtojumpintothewaterwithnobodyneartohelpme，orI’dneverhavebeguntolearntoswim。Ihaven’tbegunyet。Imayneverlearntoswim。Imaydrown。
　　Yes，Iprobablyshalldrown。’’
　　Shewanderedaimlesslyon——aroundtheupperreservoirwherethestrongbreezefreshenedherthroughandthroughandmadeherfeellessforlorninspiteofherchickenheart。ShecrossedthebridgeatthelowerendandcamedowntowardtheEastDrive。Ataxicabrushedby，notsofast，however，thatshefailedtorecognizeDonaldKeithandCyrillaBrindley。Theyweretalkingsoearnestly——Keithwastalking，forawonder，andMrs。Brindleylistening——thattheydidnotseeher。Shewentstraighthome。Butasshewasafoot，thejourneytookabouthalfanhour。Cyrillawasalreadythere，inanegligee，lookingasifshehadnotbeenoutofthelittlelibraryforhours。Shewaswritingaletter。Mildredstrolledinandseatedherself。
　　Cyrillawentonwriting。Mildredwatchedherimpatiently。Shewishedtotalk，tobetalkedto，tobeconsoledandcheered，tohearaboutDonaldKeith。Wouldthatletterneverbefinished？Atlastitwas，andCyrillatookabookandsettledherselftoreading。Therewasavaguesomethinginhermanner——achange，anattitudetowardMildred——thatdisturbedMildred。Or，wasthatnotionofachangemerelytheoffspringofherownsombermood？SeeingthatMrs。Brindleywouldnotbegin，shebrokethesilenceherself。Saidsheawkwardly：
　　``I’vedecidedtomove。Infact，I’vegottomove。’’
　　Cyrillalaiddownthebookandregardedhertran-
　　quilly。``Ofcourse，’’saidshe。``I’vealreadybeguntoarrangeforsomeoneelse。’’
　　Mildredchoked，andthetearswelledintohereyes。
　　Shehadnotbeenmistaken。Cyrillahadchangedtowardher。Nowthatshehadnoprospectsforabrilliantcareer，nowthathermoneywasgone，Cyrillahadbegunto——tobehuman。Nodoubt，inthecourseofthatdrive，CyrillahaddiscoveredthatKeithhadnointerestinhereither。MildredbeatdownheremotionandwassoonabletosayinavoiceasunconcernedasCyrilla’s：
　　``I’llfindaplaceto-morrowornextday，andgoatonce。’’
　　``I’llbesorrytoloseyou，’’saidMrs。Brindley，``butIagreewithyouthatyoucan’tgetsettledanytoosoon。’’
　　``Youdon’thappentoknowofanycheap，goodplace？’’saidMildred。
　　``Ifit’scheap，Idon’tthinkit’slikelytobegood——
　　inNewYork，’’repliedCyrilla。``You’llhavetoputupwithinconveniences——andworse。I’doffertohelpyoufindaplace，butIthinkeverythingself-reliantonedoeshelpsonetolearn。Don’tyou？’’
　　``Yes，indeed，’’assentedMildred。Thethingwasself-evidentlytrue。stillshebegantohateCyrilla。
　　Thiscold-heartedNewYork！HowshewouldgrinddownherheelwhenshegotitontheneckofNewYork！
　　Friendship，love，helpfulness——whatdidNewYorkandNew-Yorkersknowofthesethings？``OrHangingRock，either，’’reflectedshe。Whatacoldandlonelyworld！
　　``Haveyoubeentoseeaboutaposition？’’inquiredCyrilla。
　　Mildredwasthrownintoconfusion。``Ican’tgo——
　　fora——dayorso，’’shestammered。``Thechangeableweatherhasratherupsetmythroat。Nothingserious，butIwanttobeatmybest。’’
　　``Certainly，’’saidMrs。Brindley。HerdirectgazemadeMildreduncomfortable。Shewenton：``You’resureit’stheweather？’’
　　``Whatelsecoulditbe？’’demandedMildredwithalatentresentmentwhoseinterestingoriginshedidnotpausetoinquireinto。
　　``Well，salad，orsauces，ordesserts，orcafeaulaitinthemorning，orcandy，ortea，’’saidCyrilla。``Oritmightbecigarettes，orallthosethings——andthinstockingsandlowshoes——mightn’tit？’’
　　NeverbeforehadsheknownCyrillatosayanythingmeddlesomeorcattish。SaidMildredwithafaintsneer，``ThatsoundslikeMr。Keith’scrankiness。’’
　　``Itis，’’repliedCyrilla。``Iusedtothinkhewasacrankonthesubjectofsingingandstomachs，andsingingandankles。ButI’vebeenconvinced，partlybyhim，mostlybywhatI’veobserved。’’
　　Mildredmaintainedanicysilence。
　　``IseeyouareresentingwhatIsaid，’’observedCyrilla。
　　``Notatall，’’saidMildred。``Nodoubtyoumeantwell。’’
　　``Youwillpleaserememberthatyouaskedmeaquestion。’’
　　Soshehad。Butthediscoverythatshewasclearlyinthewrong，thatshehadinvitedthedisguisedlecture，onlyaggravatedhersenseofresentmentagainstMrs。
　　Brindley。Shespenttherestoftheafternooninsortingandpackingherbelongings——andincrying。ShecameuponthepaperDonaldKeithhadleft。Shereaditthroughcarefully，thoughtfully，readittothelastdirectionastoexercisewiththemachine，thelastarrangementforadailyroutineoflife，thelastsuggestionastodiet。
　　``Fortunatelyallthatisn’tnecessary，’’saidshetoherself，whenshehadfinished。``Ifitwere，Icouldnevermakeacareer。I’mnotstupidenoughtobeabletoleadthatkindoflife。Why，I’dnotcaretomakeacareer，atthatprice。Slavery——plainslavery。’’
　　Whenshewentintodinner，shesawinstantlythatCyrillatoohadbeencrying。Cyrilladidnotlookold，anythingbutthat，indeedwasnotoldandwouldnotbegintobeformanyayear。Still，afterthirty-fiveorfortyawomancannotindulgeagoodcrywithoutitsleavingserioustracesthatwillshowhoursafterward。
　　AtsightoftheevidencesofCyrilla’sgriefMildredstraightwayforgotherresentment。TheremusthavebeensomeothercauseforCyrilla’speculiarconduct。
　　Nomatterwhat，sinceitwasnothardnessofheart。
　　Itwasasad，evenagloomydinner。Butthetwowomenwereoncemoreinperfectsympathy。AndafterwardMildredbroughttheKeithpaperandaskedCyrilla’sopinion。Cyrillareadslowlyandwithoutcomment。Atlastshesaid：
　　``Hegotthisfromhismother，LuciaRivi。Haveyoureadherlife？’’
　　``No。I’veheardalmostnothingabouther，exceptthatshewasfamous。’’
　　``Shewasmorethanthat，’’saidMrs。Brindley。
　　``Shewasgreat，agreatpersonality。Shewasanalmostsicklychildandgirl。Herfirstattemptsonthestagewerehumiliatingfailures。Shehadnohealth，noendurance，nothingbutasmallvoiceofrarequality。’’