Shehadtakenthewholeofacabinonthequieterdeckbelowthepromenade,payingforitnearlyhalfofwhatwasleftofthefourthousandfrancs。Thefirstthreedaysshekepttohercabinexceptatthedinner-hour,whensheventuredtothedeckjustoutsideandwalkedupanddownforexercise。Thenfollowedfourdaysofnastyweatherduringwhichshedidnotleaveherbed。Astheseacalmed,she,wretchedandreckless,hadachairputforherselfunderherwindowandsatthere,veiledandswathedandturningherfaceawaywheneverararewanderingpassengerhappenedtopassalong。Towardnoonamanpausedbeforehertolightacigarette。She,forgettingforthemomentherprecautions,lookedathim。Itchancedthathelookedatheratexactlythesameinstant。Theirglancesmet。Hestartednervously,movedonafewsteps,returned。Saidshemockingly:
``Youknowyouneedn’tspeakifyoudon’twantto,Stanley。’’
``Thereisn’tasoulonboardthatanybodyeverkneworthateverknewanybody,’’saidhe。``Sowhynot?’’
``Andyoulookhorriblybored。’’
``Unspeakably,’’repliedBaird。``I’vespokentonoonesinceIleftParis。’’
``Whatareyoudoingonthisship?’’inquiredshe。
``Tobeperfectlyhonest,’’saidhe,``Icamethiswaytoavoidyou。Iwasafraidyou’dtakepassageonmysteamerjusttoamuseyourselfwithmynervousness。
And——hereyouare!’’
``Amusingmyselfwithyournervousness。’’
``ButI’mnotnervous。There’snodanger。Willyouletmehaveachairputbesideyours?’’
``Itwillbeacharityonyourpart,’’saidshe。
Whenhewascomfortablysettled,heexplainedhisuneasiness。``IseeI’vegottotellyou,’’saidhe,``forIdon’twantyoutothinkmeashoutingass。Thefactismywifewantstogetadivorcefrommeandtosoakmeforbigalimony。She’sawomanwho’lldoanythingtogainherend,and——well,forsomereasonshe’salwaysbeenjealousofyou。Ididn’tcaretogetintotrouble,ortogetyouintotrouble。’’
``I’mtravelingasMaryStevens,’’saidMildred。
``NooneknowsI’maboard。’’
``Oh,I’msurewe’requitesafe。Wecanenjoytherestofthisvoyage。’’
Aseavoyagenotmerelyinducesbutcompelsafeelingofabsolutedetachmentfromtheworld。TobothStanleyandMildredtheiraffairs——thedifficultiesinwhichtheywereinvolvedonterrafirma——ceasedforthetimetohaveanyreality。Theuniversewasnothingbutavaststretchofwaterunderavaststretchofsky。theearthandthethingsthereofwerearetrospectandaforeboding。Withoutanalyzingit,bothheandshefeltthattheywerefree——freefromcares,fromresponsibilities——freetoamusethemselves。Andtheyproceededtoenjoythemselvesinthenecessarilyquietandlimitedwayimposedbythelittlenessoftheirpresentworldandthemeagernessoftheresources。
Asneitherhadthekindofmindthatexpandsinabstractions,theyweresoontalkinginthemostintimateandpersonalwayaboutthemselves——wereconfessingthingswhichneitherwouldhavebreathedtoanyoneonland。Itwasthemanwhosettheexampleofbreakingthroughthebarriersofconventionalrestraint——
perhapsofdelicacy,thoughitmustbesaidthathumanbeingsarerarelysofineintheirreticencesasthetheoryofrefinementwouldhaveusbelieve。SaidStanley,afterthepreliminariesofpartialconfidenceandhaltingavowalthatcouldnotbeomitted,evenatsea,byamanof``gentlemanlyinstinct’’:
``Idon’tknowwhyIshouldn’townup。Iknowyou’llnevertellanybody。Factis,Iandmywifewereneverinlovewitheachotherforasecond。Wemarriedbecausewewereinthesamesetandbecauseourincomestogethergaveusenoughtodothethingratherwell。’’
Afterasolemnpause。``Iwasinlovewithanotherwoman——oneIcouldn’tmarry。ButI’llnotgointothat。Asformywife,Idon’tthinkshewasinlovewithanyone。She’sascoldasastone。’’
Mildredsmiledironically。
Bairdsawandflushed。``Atleast,shewastome。
Iwasreadytomakeasortofbluff。Yousee,amanfeelsguiltyinthosecircumstancesanddoesn’twanttohumiliateawoman。Butshe——’’helaughedunpleasantly——``shewasn’tbotheringaboutMYfeelings。
That’sanice,selfishlittlewayyouladieshave。’’
``Sheprobablysawthroughyouandhatedyouforplayingthehypocritetoher,’’saidMildred。
``Youmayberight,Ineverthoughtofthat,’’
confessedhe。``Shecertainlyhadaviciouswayofhammeringtheotherwomanindirectly。Notthatsheeveradmittedbeingjealous。Iguesssheknew。Everybodyusuallyknowseverything。’’
``Andtherewasagreatdealoftalkaboutyouandme,’’saidMildredplacidly。
``Ididn’tsayitwasyou,’’protestedStanley,reddening。
``Nomatter,’’saidMildred。``Don’tbotheraboutthat。It’sallpastandgone。’’
``Well,atanyrate,mymarriagewasthemistakeofmylife。I’mdeterminedthatsheshan’ttripmeupandtrimmeforanyalimony。Andasmattersstand,shecan’t。Sheleftmeofherownaccord。’’
``Then,’’saidMildredthoughtfully,``ifthewifeleavesofherownaccord,shecan’tgetalimony?’’
``Certainlynot——notacent。’’
``Isupposedso,’’saidshe。``I’mnotsureI’dtakeitifIcouldgetit。Still,IsupposeIwould。’’Shelaughed。``What’stheuseofbeingahypocritewithoneself?IknowIwould。AllIcouldget。’’
``ThenyouhadnoLEGALexcuseforleaving?’’
``No,’’saidshe。``I——justbolted。Idon’tknowwhat’stobecomeofme。Iseemnottocare,atpresent,butnodoubtIshallassoonasweseelandagain。’’
``You’llgobacktohim,’’saidStanley。
``No,’’repliedshe,withoutemphasisoranyaccentwhatever。
``Sureyouwill,’’rejoinedhe。``It’syourliving。
Whatelsecanyoudo?’’
``That’swhatImustfindout。Surelythere’ssomethingelseforawomanbesidessuchamarriedlifeasmine。Ican’tandwon’tgobacktomyhusband。AndIcan’tandwon’tgotothehouseatHangingRock。
Thosetwothingsaresettled。’’
``Youmeanthat?’’
``Absolutely。AndI’vegot——lessthanthreehundredandfiftydollarsinthewholeworld。’’
Bairdwassilent。Hewasrousedfromhisabstractionbygradualconsciousnessofanironicalsmileonthefaceofthegirl,forshedidnotlooklikeamarriedwoman。``Youarelaughingatme。Why?’’inquiredhe。
``Iwasreadingyourthoughts。’’
``Youthinkyou’vefrightenedme?’’
``Naturally。Isn’taconfessionsuchasImadeenoughtofrightenaman?ItsoundedasthoughI
weregettingreadytoaskalms。’’
``Soitdid,’’saidhe。``ButIwasn’tthinkingofitinthatway。YouWILLbeinafrightfulfixprettysoon,won’tyou?’’
``Itlooksthatway。Butyouneednotbeuneasy。’’
``Oh,Iwanttohelpyou。I’lldoeverythingIcan。
Iwastryingtothinkofsomethingyoucouldmakemoneyat。Iwasthinkingofthestage,butIsupposeyou’dbalkatthat。I’lladmititisn’tthelifeforalady。Butthesamething’strueofwhatevermoneycanbemadeat。IfIwereyou,I’dgoback。’’
``IfIweremyself,I’dgoback,’’saidMildred。
``ButI’mnotmyself。’’
``Youwillbeagain,assoonasyoufacethesituation。’’
``No,’’saidsheslowly,``no,Ishallneverbemyselfagain。’’
``Butyoucouldhaveeverythingawomanwants。
Except,ofcourse——perhaps——Butyouneverstruckmeasbeingespeciallysentimental。’’
``Sentimenthasnothingtodowithit,’’rejoinedshe。
``DoyouthinkIcouldgetaplaceonthestage?’’
``Oh,you’dhavetostudyawhile,Isuppose。’’
``ButIcan’taffordthat。IfIcouldaffordtostudy,I’dhavemyvoicetrained。’’
Baird’sfacelightedupwithenthusiasm。``Theverything!’’hecried。``You’vegotavoice,agrand-operavoice。I’veheardlotsofpeoplesayso,anditsoundedthatwaytome。Youmustcultivateyourvoice。’’
Mildredlaughed。``Don’ttalknonsense。EvenI
knowthat’snonsense。Thelessonsalonewouldcostthousandsofdollars。AndhowcouldIliveforthefourorfiveyears?’’
``Youdidn’tletmefinish,’’saidBaird。``IwasgoingtosaythatwhenyougettoNewYorkyoumustgoandhaveyourvoicepassedon——bysomeimpartialperson。Ifthatpersonsaysit’sworthcultivating,why,I’mwillingtobackyou——asabusinessproposition。
Icanaffordtotaketherisk。So,yousee,it’sallperfectlysimple。’’
Hehadspokenrapidly,withacovertsuggestionoffearlestshewouldrebukehimsharplyforwhatshemightregardasanimpertinentoffer。Shesurprisedhimbylookingathimcalmly,reflectively,andsaying:
``Yes,youcouldaffordit,couldn’tyou?’’
``I’msureIcould。Andit’sthesortofthingthat’sdoneeveryday。Ofcourse,noone’dknowthatwehadmadethislittlebusinessarrangement。Butthat’seasilymanaged。I’dbegladifyou’dletmedoit,Mildred。
I’dliketofeelthatIwasofsomeuseintheworld。
AndI’dliketodosomethingforYOU。’’
Bywayofexceedinglycautiousexperimentheventuredtoputeversoslightanaccentoftendernessuponthe``you。’’Heobservedherfurtivelybutnervously。
Hecouldnotgetahintofwhatwasinhermind。Shegazedouttowardtherisingandfallinghorizonline。
Presentlyshesaid:
``I’llthinkaboutit。’’
``Youmustletmedoit,Mildred。It’sthesensiblething——andyouknowmewellenoughtoknowthatmyfriendshipcanbecountedon。’’
``I’llthinkaboutit,’’wasallshewouldconcede。
Theydiscussedthesingingcareerallthatandthesucceedingdays——thepossibilities,thehopes,thedangers——
butthehopesagreatdealmorethanthedangers。
Hebecamemoreandmoreinterestedinherandintheproject,asherbeautyshoneoutwiththetranquillizingseaandasheroldcharmofclevernessatsayingthingsthatamusedhimreasserteditself。She,dubiousandlukewarmatfirst,soonwastryingtocurbherownexcitedoptimism。butlongbeforetheysightedSandyHookshewasmerelypretendingtohangback。
Hefeltdiscouragedbyherparting!``IfIdecidetogoon,I’llwriteyouinafewdays。’’Butheneednothavefeltso。Shehadmadeuphermindtoaccepthisoffer。Asforthecomplicationsinvolvedinsuchcuriouslyintimaterelationswithamanofhistemperament,habits,andinclinations,shesawthemveryvaguelyin-
deed——refusedtopermitherselftoseethemanylessvaguely。Timeenoughtodealwithcomplicationswhenandastheyarose。whyneedlesslyandfoolishlyannoyherselfandhamperherself?Saidshetoherself,``Imustbegintobepractical。’’
IV
ATthepierMildredsenthermotheratelegram,givingthetrainbywhichshewouldarrive——thatandnothingmore。Asshedescendedfromtheparlor-cartherestoodMrs。Presburyupontheplatform,facewreathedinthemostjoyousofwelcomingsmiles,notasurfacetraceofthecuriosityandalarmstormingwithin。Aftertheyhadkissedandembracedwithagenuineemotionwhichtheydidnottrytohide,becausebothsuddenlybecameunconsciousofthatworldwhereofordinarilytheywereconstantlymindful——aftercaressesandtearsMrs。Presburysaid:
``It’sallverywelltodressplain,wheneveryoneknowsyoucanaffordthebest。Butdon’tyouthinkyou’reoverdoingitalittle?’’
Mildredlaughedsomewhatnervously。``Waittillwe’resafeathome,’’saidshe。
Onthewayupfromthestationinthecarriagetheychatteredawayintheliveliestfashion,tomaketheproperimpressionuponanyobservingHanging-
Rockers。``Luckily,Presbury’sgonetotownto-day,’’
saidhiswife。``Butreallyhe’squitelivable——hasn’tgonebacktohisoldways。Hedoesn’tknowit,buthe’srapidlygrowingdeaf。Heimaginesthateveryoneisspeakingmoreandmoreindistinctly,andhehaslostinterestinconversation。Then,too,hehasdonewellinWallStreet,andthathasputhiminagoodhumor。’’
``He’llnotbesurprisedtoseeme——alone,’’saidMildred。
``Waittillwe’rehome,’’saidhermothernervously。
AtthehouseMrs。Presburycarriedonafoolish,false-soundingconversationforthebenefitoftheservants,andfinallyconductedMildredtoherbedroomandshutdoorsanddrewportieresandglancedintoclosetsbeforesaying:``Now,whatISthematter,Millie?
WHEREisyourhusband?’’
``InParis,Isuppose,’’repliedMildred。``Ihavelefthim,andIshallnevergoback。’’
``Presburysaidyouwould!’’criedhermother。
``ButIdidn’tbelieveit。Idon’tbelieveit。Ibroughtyouuptodoyourduty,andIknowyouwill。’’
ThiswasMildred’sfirstopportunityforfrankandplainspeaking。andthatishighlyconducivetofrankandplainthinking。Shenowbegantoseeclearlywhyshehadquitthegeneral。Saidshe:``Mamma,tobehonestandnotmincewords,I’velefthimbecausethere’snothinginit。’’
``Isn’therich?’’inquiredhermother。``I’vealwayshadakindofpresent——’’
``Oh,he’srich,allright,’’interruptedthegirl。
``ButhesawtoitthatIgotnobenefitfromthat。’’
``Butyouwrotemehowhewasbuyingyoueverything!’’
``SoIthought。InfacthewasbuyingMEnothing。’’
Andshewentontoexplainthegeneral’ssystem。
Hermotherlistenedimpatiently。Shewouldhavein-
terruptedthelongandangryrecitalmanytimeshadnotMildredinsistedonafullhearingofhergrievances,oftheoutragesthathadbeenheapeduponher。
``And,’’sheended,``Isupposehe’sgotitsoarrangedthathecouldhavemearrestedasathieffortakingthegoldbag。’’
``Yes,it’sterribleandallthat,’’saidhermother。
``ButIshouldhavethoughtlivingwithmeherewhenPresburywascarryingonsodreadfullywouldhavetaughtyousomething。Yourcaseisn’tanexception,anymorethanmineis。That’sthesortofthingwewomenhavetoputupwithfrommen,whenwe’reintheirpower。’’
``NotI,’’saidMildredloftily。
``Yes,you,’’retortedhermother。``ANYwoman。
EVERYwoman。Unlesswehavemoneyofourown,weallhavetroublewiththemenaboutmoney,soonerorlater,inonewayoranother。Andrichmen!——why,it’snotoriousthatthey’realwaysmoreorlessmeanaboutmoney。
Awifehasgottousetact。Why,Ievenhadtousesometactwithyourfather,andhewasasgenerousamanaseverlived。Tact——that’sawoman’swholelife。
Yououghttohaveusedtact。You’llgobacktohimandusetact。’’
``Youdon’tknowhim,mamma!’’criedMildred。
``He’samonster。Heisn’thuman。’’
Mrs。Presburydrewalongfaceandsaidinasad,soothingvoice:``Yes,Iknow,dear。Menarevery,veryawful,insomeways,toanicewoman——withrefined,ladylikeinstincts。It’sagreatshocktoapure——’’
``Oh,gammon!’’interruptedMildred。``Don’tbesilly,mother。Itisn’tworthwhileforonewomantotalkthatkindofthingtoanother。Ididn’tfullyknowwhatIwasdoingwhenImarriedamanIdidn’tlove——amanwhowasalmostrepulsivetome。ButIknewenough。AndIwasgettingalongwellenough,asanywomandoes,nomatterwhatshemaysay——yes,youneedn’tlookshocked,forthat’shypocrisy,andIknowitnow——But,asIwassaying,Ididn’tbegintoHATE
himuntilhetriedtomakeaslaveofme。Aslave!’’
sheshuddered。``He’samonster!’’
``Alittletact,andyoucangeteverythingyouwant,’’
insistedhermother。
``Itellyou,youdon’tknowtheman,’’criedMildred。
``BytactIsupposeyoumeanIcouldhavesoldthingsbehindhisback——andallthat。’’Shelaughed。``Hehasn’tgotanyback。Hehaditsoarrangedthatthosecold,wickedeyesofhiswerealwayswatchingme。Hissecondwifetried`tact。’Hecaughtheranddroveherintothestreets。I’dhavehadnochancetogetacent,andifIhadgottenitI’dnothavedaredspendit。DoyouimagineIranawayfromhimwithouthavingTHOUGHT?Ifthere’dbeenanywayofstayingon,anywayofmakingthingsevenendurable,I’dhavestayed。’’
``Butyou’vegottogoback,Milly,’’criedhermother,intears。
``Youmeanthatyoucan’tsupportme?’’
``AndyourbrotherFrank——’’Mrs。Presbury’seyesflashedandherratherstoutcheeksquivered。``I
neverthoughtI’dtellanybody,butI’lltellyou。I
neverlikedyourbrotherFrank,andheneverlikedme。
Thatsoundsdreadful,doesn’tit?’’
``No,motherdear,’’saidMildredgently。``I’velearnedthatlifeisn’tatallas——aseverybodypretends。’’
``Indeeditisn’t,’’saidhermother。``Mothersalwayshavefavoritesamongtheirchildren,andveryoftenamotherdislikesoneofherchildren。Ofcourseshehidesherfeelinganddoesherduty。Butallthesameshecan’thelpthefeelingthatisdowninherheart。I
hadapresentimentbeforehewasbornthatIwouldn’tlikehim,andsureenough,Ididn’t。Andhedidn’tlikeme,orhisfather,oranyofus。’’
``Itwouldneveroccurtometoturntohim,’’saidMildred。
``Thenyouseethatyou’vegottogobacktothegeneral。Youcan’tgetadivorceandalimony,foritwasyouthatlefthim——andfornocause。Hewaswithinhisrights。’’
Mildredhesitated,confessed:``Ihadthoughtofgoingbacktohimandactinginsuchawaythathe’dbegladtogivemeadivorceandanallowance。’’
``Yes,youmightdothat,’’saidhermother。``A
greatmanywomendo。And,afterall,haven’ttheyarightto?Aladyhasgottohavepropersupport,andisitjusttoaskhertolivewithamansheloathes?’’
``Ihaven’tthoughtoftherightorwrongofit,’’saidMildred。``Itlookstomeasthoughrightandwronghaveverylittletodowithlifeasit’slived。They’reforhypocrites——andfools。’’
``Mildred!’’exclaimedhermother,deeplyshocked。
Mildredwasnotalittleshockedatherownthoughtsassheinspectedtheminthefulllightintowhichspeechhaddraggedthem。``Anyhow,’’shewenton,``Isoonsawthatsuchaplanwashopeless。He’snotthemantobetrifledwith。LongbeforeIcoulddrivehimtogivemealivingandletmegohewouldhavedrivenmetoflightorsuicide。’’
HermotherhadnowhadtimetoreflectuponMildred’srevelations。Aidedbytheimpressionssheherselfhadgottenofthelittlegeneral,shebegantounderstandwhyherdaughterhadfledandwhyshewouldnotreturn。
Shefeltthatthesituationwasonewhichtimealonecouldsolve。Saidshe:``Well,thebestthingisforyoutostayonhereandwaituntilhemakessomemove。’’
``He’llhavemewatched——that’sallhe’lldo,’’saidMildred。``Whenhegetsreadyhe’lldivorcemefordesertinghim。’’
Mrs。Presburyfeltthatshewasright。But,concealingherdespondency,shesaid:``Allwecandoistowaitandsee。Youmustsendforyourluggage。’’
``I’venothingbutalargebag,’’saidMildred。``I
checkeditintheparcel-roomoftheNewYorkstation。’’
Mrs。Presburywasoverwhelmed。HowaccounttoHangingRockforthereappearanceofabaggagelessandhusbandlessbride?Butsheheldupbravely。
Withacheerfulnessthatdidcredittoherheartandshowedhowwellshelovedherdaughtershesaid:``Wemustdothebestwecan。We’llgetupsomestory。’’
``No,’’saidMildred。``I’mgoingbacktoNewYork。Youcantellpeopleherewhatyouplease——
thatI’vegonetorejoinhimortowaitforhim——anyoldthing。’’
``Atleastyou’llwaitandtalkwithPresbury,’’
pleadedhermother。``HeisVERYsensible。’’
``Ifhehasanythingtosuggest,’’saidMildred,``hecanwriteit。I’llsendyoumyaddress。’’
``Milly,’’criedhermother,agitatedtothedepths,``whereAREyougoing?WHATareyougoingtodo?
Youlooksostrange——notatalllikeyourself。’’
``I’mgoingtoahotelto-night——probablytoaboarding-houseto-morrow,’’saidMildred。``InafewdaysIshallbeginto——’’shehesitated,decidedagainstconfidence——’’begintosupportmyselfatsomethingorother。’’
``Youmustbecrazy!’’criedhermother。``Youwouldn’tdoanything——andyoucouldn’t。’’
``Let’snotdiscussit,mamma,’’saidthegirltranquilly。
Themotherlookedatherwitheyesfullofthesuspiciononeladycannotbuthaveastotheprojectsofanotherladyinsuchcircumstances。
``Mildred,’’shesaidpleadingly,``youmustbecareful。You’llfindyourselfinvolvedinadreadfulscandal。
Iknowyouwouldn’tDOanythingWRONGnomatterhowyouweredriven。But——’’
``I’llnotdoanythingFOOLISH,mamma,’’interruptedthegirl。``Youarethinkingaboutmen,aren’tyou?’’
``Menarealwaysreadytodestroyawoman,’’saidhermother。``Youmustbecareful——’’
Mildredwaslaughing。``Oh,mamma,’’shecried,``dobesensibleanddogivemecreditforalittlesense。I’vegotaveryclearideaofwhatawomanoughttodoaboutmen,andIassureyouI’mnotgoingtobeFOOLISH。
Andyouknowawomanwhoisn’tfoolishcanbetrustedwhereawomanwho’sonlyprotectedbyherprincipleswouldyieldtothefirsttemptation——orhuntroundforatemptation。’’
``Butyousimplycan’tgotoNewYorkandlivethereallalone——andwithnothing!’’
``CanIstayhere——formorethanafewdays?’’
``Butmaybe,afterafewdays——’’stammeredhermother。
``Yousee,I’vegottobegin,’’saidMildred。``Sowhydelay?I’dgainnothing。I’dsimplystartHangingRocktogossiping——andstartMr。Presburytoactinglikeafiendagain。’’
Hermotherrefusedtobeconvinced——wasthefirmer,perhaps,becauseshesawthatMildredwasunshakableinherresolvetoleaveforthwith——theobviouslysensibleandlesstroublesomecourse。TheyemployedtherestofMildred’sthreehours’stopinarguing——whenMildredwasnotragingagainstthelittlegeneral。Hermotherwasmorethanwillingtoassistherinthisdenunciation,butMildredpreferredtodoitallherself。
Shehad——perhapsbyunconsciouslyabsorbedtrainingfromherlawyerfather——anunusualdegreeofabilitytoseebothsidesofaquestion。Whensheassailedherhusband,shesawonlyherownside。butsomehowwhenhermotherrailedandraved,shebegantoseeanotherside——andthesightwasnotagreeable。Shewishedtofeelthatherhusbandwasaltogetherinthewrong。
shedidnotwishtohaveintrudeduponhersuchfactsasthatshehadsoldherselftohim——quiteinthecustomarywayofladies,butneverthelessquiteshamelessly——orthatinstrictjusticeshehaddonenothingforhimtoentitlehertoaliberalmoneyallowanceoranyallowanceatall。
Onthetrain,goingbacktoNewYork,sheadmittedtoherselfthattherepulsivelittlegeneralhadheldstrictlytothetermsofthebargain——’’butonlyadevilandonewithnotasinglegentlemanlyinstinctwouldinsistonsuchabargain。’’Ittookawaymuchoftheshame,andallofthesting,ofdespisingherselftofeelthatshewaslookingstilllowerwhensheturnedtodespisinghim。
Toedgeoutthelittlegeneralshebegantothinkofhermother,butasshepassedinreviewwhathermotherhadsaidandhowshehadsaiditshesawthatforalltheprotestsandarguingshermotherwasmorethanresignedtoherdeparture。Mildredfeltnobitterness。
eversinceshecouldrememberhermotherhadbeenashifterofresponsibility。Still,tostareintothefaceofsodisagreeableafactasthatonehadnoplaceonearthtogoto,nooneonearthtoturnto,notevenone’sownmother——tostareonatthatgrimacinguglinessdidnottendtocheerfulness。Mildredtriedtothinkofthefuture——buthowcouldshethinkofsomethingthatwasnothing?Sheknewthatshewouldgoon,somehow,insomedirection,butbynoeffortofherimaginationcouldshepictureit。Shewassoimpressedbythenecessityofconsideringthefuturethat,torouseherself,shetriedtofrightenherselfwithpicturesofpovertyandmisery,ofherselfaderelictinthevastandcolddesertofNewYork——perhapsinrags,hungry,ill,butallinvain。Shedidnotbelieveit。
Alwaysshehadhadplentytowearandtoeat,andcomfortablesurroundings。Shecouldnomorethinkofherselfaswithoutthosethingsthanalivingpersoncanimaginehimselfdead。
``I’mafool,’’shesaidtoherself。``I’mcertaintogetintoallsortsoftrouble。Howcanitbeotherwise,whenI’venomoney,nofriends,noexperience,nowayofmakingaliving——nohonestway——perhapsnowayoftheotherkind,either?’’Therearemanywomenwhoecstasizetheireasilytickledvanitiesbyfancyingthatiftheyweresodisposedtheyneedonlyflutteraneyelidtohavemenbythelegionstrivingfortheirfavors,eachmanwithabagofgold。Mildred,inexperiencedasshewas,hadnosuchdelusions。Hermindhappenednottobeofthatchastelylicentiouscastewhichcontinuallyrevolvesandfantasticallyexaggeratesthethingsofthebody。
Shecouldnotunderstandherownindifferenceaboutthefuture。ShedidnotrealizethatitwaswhollyduetoStanleyBaird’soffer。Shewasimaginingshewasregardingthatofferassomethingshemightpossiblyconsider,butprobablywouldnot。Shedidnotknowthathersoulhadseizeduponit,hadenfoldeditandwouldonnoaccountletitgo。Itisthehabitofoursecretselvesthustomakedecisionsandawaittheirowngoodtimeformakingusacquaintedwiththem。
Withherbagontheseatbesidehershesetouttofindatemporarylodging。Notuntilseveralhotelshadrefusedheradmittanceonthepretextthattheywere``fullup’’didsherealizethatayoungwomanaloneisanobjectofsuspicioninNewYork。Whenafourthroom-clerkexpressedhispoliteregretsshelookedhimstraightintheeyeandsaid:
``Iunderstand。ButIcan’tsleepinthestreet。YoumusttellmewhereIcango。’’
``Well,there’stheRiponoverinSeventhAvenue,’’
saidhe。
``Isitrespectable?’’saidshe。
``Oh,it’sverycleanandcomfortablethere,’’saidhe。
``They’lltreatyouright。’’
``Isitrespectable?’’saidshe。
``Well,now,itdoesn’tLOOKqueer,ifthat’swhatyoumean,’’repliedhe。``You’lldoverynicelythere。Youcanbejustasquietasyouwant。’’
ShesawthathotelNewYorkwouldnotbelieveherrespectable。SototheRiponshewent,andwasadmittedwithoutdiscussion。Asthelastrespectableclerkhadsaid,itdidnotLOOKqueer。ButitFELTqueer。sheresolvedthatshewouldgointoaboarding-housetheverynextday。
Hereagainwhatseemedsimpleproveddifficult。Norespectableboarding-housewouldhaveMissMaryStevens。Shewasconfidentthatnothinginherdressormannerhintedmystery。Yetthosesharp-eyedland-
ladiesseemedtoknowatoncethattherewassomethingpeculiarabouther。Mostofthembecamerudetheinstanttheyseteyesuponher。Afew——oftheobviouslylessprosperousclass——talkedwithher,seemedtobelisteningforsomethingwhichherfailingtosaydecidedthemuponallbutorderingheroutofthehouse。She,hinderedbyherinnocence,wasslowinrealizingthatshecouldnothopeforadmissiontoanyselectrespectablecircle,evenofhigh-classsalesladiesandclerks,unlessshegaveafreeandclearaccountofherself——
whenceshehadcome,whatshewasdoing,howshegothermoney。
Towardtheendofthesecondday’swearisomeandhumiliatingsearchshefoundahousethatwouldadmither。Itwasapretentious,well-furnishedbighouseinMadisonAvenue。Theprice——thirty-fivedollarsaweekforboard,abedroomwithafoldingbedinanalcove,andabath,wasmorethandoublewhatshehadcountedonpaying,butshediscoveredthatdecentandcleanlodgingsandfoodfittoeatwerenottobehadforless。``AndIsimplycan’tlivepig-fashion,’’saidshe。``I’dbesodepressedthatIcoulddonothing。I
can’tlivelikeawildanimal,andIwon’t。’’Shehadsomevaguenotion——foreboding——thatthiswasnottheproperspiritwithwhichtofacelife。``IsupposeI’mhorriblyfoolish,’’reflectedshe,``butifImustgodown,I’llgodownwithmycolorsflying。’’Shedidnotknowpreciselywhatthatphrasemeant,butitsoundedfineandbraveandheartenedhertotaketheexpensivelodgings。
ThelandladywasaMrs。Belloc。Mildredhadnottalkedwithhertwentyminutesbeforeshehadafeelingthatthisnamewasassumed。Theeveningofherfirstdayinthehouseshelearnedthatherguesswascorrect——learneditfromthelandladyherself。AfterdinnerMrs。Belloccameintoherroomtocheerherup,tofindoutaboutherandtotellheraboutherself。
``Nowthatyou’vecome,’’saidshe,``thehouseisfullup——exceptsomelittleroomsatthetopthatI’dasliefnotfill。Theprobabilitiesarethatanyladieswhowouldtakethemwouldn’tberefinedenoughtosuitthoseIhave。Therearesix,notcountingme,everyonewithabathandtwowithprivateparlors。Andasthey’reallhandsome,sensiblewomen,ladylikeandsteady,Ithinktheprospectsarethatthey’llpaypromptlyandthatIwon’thaveanytrouble。’’
Mildredreflecteduponthiscuriousstatement。Itsoundedinnocentenough,yetwhatapeculiarwaytoputasimplefact。
``Ofcourseit’snoneofmybusinesshowpeopleliveaslongastheykeepuptherespectabilities,’’pursuedMrs。Belloc。``Itdon’tdotoinquireintopeopleinNewYork。Mostof’emcomeherebecausetheywanttoliveastheyplease。’’
``Nodoubt,’’saidMildredalittlenervously,forshesuspectedherlandladyofhittingather,andwonderedifshehadcometocross-examineherand,iftheresultswerenotsatisfactory,toputherintothestreet。
``Iknow_I_cameforthatreason,’’pursuedMrs。
Belloc。``Iwasaschool-teacherupinNewEnglanduntilabouttwoyearsago。Didyoueverteachschool?’’
``Notyet,’’saidMildred。``AndIdon’tthinkIevershall。Idon’tknowenough。’’
``Oh,yes,youdo。Ateacherdoesn’tneedtoknowmuch。Thewagesaresopoor——atleastupinNewEngland——thattheydon’texpectyoutoknowanything。
It’sallinthebooks。IleftbecauseIcouldn’tendurethelife。Lord!howdullthoselittletownsare!
Everliveinalittletown?’’
``Allmylife,’’saidMildred。
``Well,you’llnevergoback。’’
``Ihopenot。’’
``Youwon’t。Whyshouldyou?Asensiblewomanwithlooks——especiallyifsheknowshowtocarryherclothes——canstayinNewYorkaslongasshepleases,andliveoffthefatoftheland。’’
``That’sgoodnews,’’saidMildred。Shebegantolikethelandlady——notforwhatshesaid,butforthefreeandfrankandfriendlywayofthesaying——ahumanway,acomradelyway,alive-and-let-liveway。
``Ididn’tescapefromNewEnglandwithoutastruggle,’’continuedMrs。Belloc,whowasplainlyshowingthatshehadtakenagreatfancyto``MaryStevens。’’
``Isupposeitwashardtosavethemoneyoutofyoursalary,’’saidMildred。
Mrs。Belloclaughed。Shewasaboutthirty-fiveyearsold,thoughhereyesandherfigurewereyoungerthanthat。Hermouthwaspleasantenough,buthadlostsomeofitsfreshness。``Savemoney!’’criedshe。
``I’dneverhavesucceededthatway。I’dbethereyet。
Ihadnevermarried——hadtwoorthreechances,butallfrompoorstickslookingforsomeonetosupportthem。Isawmyselfgettingold。IwaslookingyearsolderthanIdonow。Talkaboutseaairforfresheningawomanup——itisn’tinitwiththeairofNewYork。
Here’sthetownwherewomenstayyoung。IfIhadcomeherefiveyearsagoIcouldalmosttryforthesquabclass。’’
``Squabclass?’’queriedMildred。
``Yes,squabs。Don’tyouseethemaroundeverywhere?——
thewomendressedlikegirlsofsixteentoeighteen——andsomeofthemarethat,andyounger。
Theygohoppingandlaughingabout——andtheyseemtopleasethemenandtohavenoendofagoodtime。
Especiallytheoldishmen。Oh,yes,youknowasquabonsight——tightskirt,lowshoesandsilkstockings,cuteprettyface,alwayslaughing,hatsetonrakishlyandhairdonetomatch,andalwaysabigpurseorbag——withayellow-backorsoinit——asakindofahint,Iguess。’’
Mildredhadseensquabs。``I’veenviedthem——inaway,’’saidshe。``Theirparentsseemtoletthemdoaboutastheyplease。’’
``Theirparentsdon’tknow——ordon’tcare。Sometimesit’sone,sometimestheother。Theytravelintwosets。Oneiswheretheymeetyoungfellowsoftheirownclass——thekindthey’llprobablymarry,unlesstheyhappentodrawthecapitalprize。Theothersettheytravelin——well,it’stheoldermentheymeetroundtheswellhotelsandsoon——theyellow-backmen。’’
``Howqueer!’’exclaimedMildred,beforewhoseeyesanewworldwasopening。``Buthowdothey——these——squabs——accountforthemoney?’’
``Howdoathousandandonewomeninthisfunnytownaccountathomeformoneyandthings?’’retortedMrs。Belloc。``Nothing’seasier。Forinstance,oftenthesesquabsdo——orpretendtodo——alittlesomethinginthewayofwork——alittlecanvassingorartists’
modeloranythingyouplease。Thathelpsthemtoexplainathome——andalsotomakeeachoftheyellow-
backmenthinkhe’stheonlyoneandthathe’sbeingalmostlovedforhimselfalone。’’
Mrs。Belloclaughed。Mildredwastooastonishedtolaugh,andtoointerested——andtoostartledorshocked。
``ButIwastellingyouhow_I_gotdownhere,’’
continuedthelandlady。``Upinmytowntherewasanoldman——aboutseventy-five——closeasthebarkonatree,anduglyandmean。’’Shepausedtodrawalongbreathandtoshakeherheadangrilyyettriumphantlyatsomefigureherfancyconjuredup。
``Oh,heWASapup!——andis!Well,anyhow,I
decidedthatI’dmarryhim。SoIwrotehomeforfiftydollars。Iborrowedanotherfiftyhereandthere。I
hadseventy-fivesavedupagainstsickness。IwentuptoBostonandlaiditalloutinunderclothesandhousethings——notshowybutfineandgoodtolookat。Thenoneday,whentheweatherwasfineandIknewtheoldmanwouldbeoutinhisbuggydrivinground——I
dressedmyselfuptobeattheband。Itookhourstoit——scrubbing,powdering,sacheting,perfuming,fixingthehair,fixingmyfinger-nails,fixingupmyfeet,polishingeverynailandmakingthemlookbetterthanmosthands。’’
Mildredwassointerestedthatshewasexcited。Whatstrangefreakwascoming?
``Younevercouldguess,’’pursuedMrs。Belloc,complacently。``Itookmysunshadeandwentout,allgotuptokill。AndIwalkedalongtheroaduntilIsawtheoldman’sbuggycomingwithhiminit。ThenI
gavemyankleafrightfulwrench。My!Howithurt!’’
``Whatapity!’’saidMildredsympathetically。
``Whatashame!’’
``Apity?Ashame?’’criedMrs。Belloc,laughing。
``Why,mydear,Ididita-purpose。’’
``Onpurpose!’’exclaimedMildred。
``Certainly。Thatwasmygame。Iscreamedoutwithpain——andthescreamwasnofake,Icantellyou。AndIfelldownbytheroadsideonanicegrassyspotwherenodustwouldgetonme。Well,upcomestheoldskinflintinhisbuggy。Heclimbeddownandhelpedmegetoffmyslipperandstocking。IknewIhadhimtheminuteIsawhisoldfacelookingatthatfootIhadfixedupsobeautifully。’’
``HowDIDyoueverthinkofit?’’exclaimedMildred。
``Goandteachschoolfortenyearsinadulllittletown,mydear——andlookintheglasseverydayandseeyouryouthfadingaway——andyou’llthinkofmostanything。Well,tomakealongstoryshort,theoldmantookmeinthebuggytohishousewherehelivedwithhisdeaf,half-blindoldwidoweddaughter。Ihadtostaytherethreeweeks。Imarriedhimthefourthweek。AndjusttwomonthstoadayfromtheafternoonIsprainedmyankle,hegavemefiftydollarsaweek——allsignedandsealedbyalawyer——togoawayandleavehimalone。Imighthavestoodoutformore,butIwastooanxioustogettoNewYork。AndhereIam!’’Shegazedaboutthewell-furnishedroom,typicalofthatalmostluxurioushouse,withanairoftriumphantsatisfaction。Saidshe:``I’venopatiencewithawomanwhosaysshecan’tgeton。Where’sherbrains?’’
Mildredwassilent。Perhapsitwasafeelingofwhatwashazilyintheyoungerwoman’smindandadesiretoansweritthatledMrs。Belloctosayfurther:``I
supposethere’ssomethatwouldcriticizemywayofgettingthere。ButIwanttoknow,don’tallwomengettherebyworkingmen?Onlymostofthemaresostupidthattheyhavetogoonlivingwiththeman。
Ithinkit’slowtolivewithamanyouhate。’’
``Oh,I’mnotcriticizinganybody,’’saidMildred。
``Ididn’tthinkyouwere,’’saidMrs。Belloc。``IfIhadn’tseenyouweren’tthatkind,I’dnothavebeensoconfidential。NotthatI’msecretivewithanybody。
IsayanddowhatIplease。Anyonewhodoesn’tlikemywayormecantaketheothersideofthestreet。
Ididn’tcometoNewYorktogoinsociety。IcameheretoLIVE。’’
Mildredlookedatheradmiringly。TherewerethingsaboutMrs。Bellocthatshedidnotadmire。otherthings——suspectedratherthanknownthings——thatsheknewshewouldshrinkfrom,butsheheartilyadmiredandprofoundlyenviedherutterindifferencetotheopinionofothers,herfineindependentwayofwalkingherownpathatherowngait。
``Itookthisboarding-house,’’Mrs。Bellocwenton,``becauseIdidn’twanttobelonesome。Idon’tlikeall——orevenmostof——theladiesthatlivehere。Butthey’reallamusingtotalkwith——anddon’tputonairsexceptwiththeirmenfriends。Andoneortwoaretherealthing——good-hearted,fondofajoke,with-
outanymeanness。Itellyou,NewYorkisamightyfineplaceifyouget`inright。’Ofcourse,ifyoudon’t,it’sh-e-l-l。’’Mrs。Belloctookoffitsunrefinededgebyspellingit。``Butwhatplaceisn’t?’’sheadded。
``Andyourhusbandneverbothersyou?’’inquiredMildred。
``Andneverwill,’’repliedMrs。Belloc。``WhenhediesI’llcomeintoalittlemore——aboutahundredandfiftyaweekinall。Notafortune,butenoughwithwhattheboarding-housebringsin。I’maprettyfairbusinesswoman。’’
``Ishouldsayso!’’exclaimedMildred。
``YousaidyouwereMissStevens,didn’tyou?’’saidMrs。Belloc——andMildredknewthatherturnhadcome。
``Yes,’’repliedshe。``ButIamalsoamarriedwoman。’’Shehesitated,reddened。``Ididn’tgiveyoumymarriedname。’’
``That’syourownbusiness,’’saidMrs。Bellocinhereasiestmanner。``Myrightnameisn’tBelloc,either。
ButI’vedroppedthatotherlife。Youneedn’tfeelabitembarrassedinthishouse。SomeofmyboardersSEEMtobemarried。Allthathaveregular-appearinghusbandsSAYtheyare。WhatdoIcare,solongaseverythinggoesalongsmoothly?Idon’tgetexcitedabouttrifles。’’
``SomedayperhapsI’lltellyouaboutmyself,’’saidMildred。``JustatpresentI——well,Iseemnottobeabletotalkaboutthings。’’
``It’snotabadideatokeepyourmouthshut,aslongasyouraffairsareunsettled,’’advisedMrs。Belloc。
``Icanseeyou’vehadlittleexperience。Butyou’llcomeoutallright。Justkeepcool,anddon’tfretabouttrifles。Anddon’tletanymanmakeafoolofyou。That’swherewewomengetleft。We’reafraidofmen。Weneedn’tbe。Wecanmightyeasilymakethemafraidofus。Usethesofthandtillyougethimwellinyourgrip。Thenthefirmhand。Nothingcoarseorcruelormean。Butfirmandself-respecting。’’
MildredwastemptedtotakeMrs。Bellocfullyintoherconfidenceandgetthebenefitoftheadviceofshrewdnessandexperience。Sostrongwasthetemptation,shewouldhaveyieldedtoithadMrs。Bellocaskedafewtactful,penetratingquestions。ButMrs。
Bellocrefrained,andMildred’stimidityordelicacyinducedhertopostpone。ThenextdayshewroteStanleyBaird,givingheraddressandhernameandaskinghimtocall``anyafternoonatfourorfive。’’Sheassumedthathewouldcomeonthefollowingday,buttheletterhappenedtoreachhimwithinanhourofhermailingit,andhecamethatveryafternoon。
Whenshewentdowntothedrawing-roomtoreceivehim,shefoundhimstandinginthemiddleoftheroomgazingaboutwithaquizzicalexpression。Assoonasthegreetingswereoverhesaid:
``Youmustgetoutofhere,Mildred。Thiswon’tdo。’’
``IndeedIshan’t,’’saidshe。``I’velookedeverywhere,andthisistheonlycomfortableplaceIcouldfind——wheretherateswerereasonableandwherethelandladydidn’thavehernoseineverybody’sbusiness。’’
``Youdon’tunderstand,’’saidhe。``Thisisabird-
cage。Highlygilded,butabird-cage。’’
Shehadneverheardthephrase,butsheunderstood——
andinstantlysheknewthathewasright。Shecoloredviolently,satdownabruptly。Butinamomentsherecoveredherself,andwithfinedefiancesaid:
``Idon’tcare。Mrs。Bellocisakind-heartedwoman,andit’saseasytoberespectablehereasanywhere。’’
``Sure,’’assentedhe。``Butyou’vegottoconsiderappearancestoacertainextent。Youwon’tbeabletofindtherightsortofaboarding-house——oneyou’dbecomfortablein。You’vegottohaveaflatofyourown。’’
``Ican’taffordit,’’saidMildred。``Ican’taffordthis,even。ButIsimplywillnotliveinashabby,mussyway。’’
``That’sright!’’criedStanley。``Youcan’tdoproperworkinpoorsurroundings。Somewomencould,butnotyoursort。Butdon’tworry。I’mgoingtoseeyouthrough。I’llfindaplace——rightaway。
Youwanttostartinatonce,don’tyou?’’
``I’vegotto,’’saidMildred。
``Thenleaveitalltome。’’
``ButWHATamItodo?’’
``Sing,ifyoucan。Ifnot,thenact。We’llhaveyouonthestagewithinayearorso。I’msureofit。
AndI’llgetmymoneyback,withinterest。’’
``Idon’tseehowIcanacceptit,’’saidMildredveryfeebly。
``You’vegotto,’’saidStanley。``Whatalternativeisthere?None。Solet’sbothernomoreaboutit。
I’llconsultwiththosewhoknow,findoutwhatthethingcosts,andarrangeeverything。You’reashelplessasababy,andyouknowit。’’
Yes,Mildredknewit。
Helookedatherwithanamusedsmile。``Come,outwithit!’’hecried。``You’vegotsomethingonyourmind。Let’sgeteverythingstraight——andkeepitthatway。’’
Mildredhungherhead。
``You’reuneasybecauseI,aman,amdoingthisforyou,ayoungwoman?Isthatit?’’
``Yes,’’sheconfessed。
Heleanedbackinhischair,crossedhislegs,andspokeinabrisk,businesslikeway。``Inthefirstplace,it’sgottobedone,hasn’tit?Andsomeonehasgottodoit?Andthereisnooneofferingbutme?AmIright?’’
Shenodded。
``Then_I_’vegottodoit,andyou’veGOTtoletme。
There’slogic,ifevertherewaslogic。APhiladelphialawyercouldn’tknockaholeinit。Youtrustme,don’tyou?’’
Shewassilent。
``Youdon’ttrustme,then,’’saidhecheerfully。
``Well,perhapsyou’reright。Butyoutrustyourself,don’tyou?’’
Shemovedrestlessly,butremainedsilent。
``YouareafraidImightputyouinadifficultposition?’’
``Somethinglikethat,’’sheadmitted,inalow,embarrassedvoice。
``YoufearthatIexpectsomereturnwhichyoudonotintendtogive?’’
Shewassilent。
``Well,Idon’t,’’saidhebluntly。``Soputyourmindatrest。SomedayI’lltellyouwhyIamdoingthis,butIwantyoutofeelthatIasknothingofyoubutmymoneybackwithinterest,whenyoucanaffordtopay。’’
``Ican’tfeelthat,’’saidshe。``You’reputtingmeinyourdebt——soheavilythatI’dfeelIoughttopayanythingyouasked。ButIcouldn’tandwouldn’tpay。’’
``Unlessyoufeltlikeit?’’suggestedhe。
``It’shonestformetowarnyouthatI’mnotlikelytofeelthatway。’’
``Thereissuchathingaswinningawoman’slove,isn’tthere?’’saidhejestingly。ItwasdifficulttotellwhenStanleyBairdwasjestingandwhenhewasinearnest。
``Isthatwhatyouexpect?’’saidshegravely。
``IfIsayyes?’’
Sheloweredhereyesandlaughedinanembarrassedway。
Hewasfranklyamused。``Yousee,youfeelthatyou’reinmypower。Andyouare。Sowhynotmakethebestofit?’’Apause,thenhesaidabruptlyandwithaconvincingmanliness,``Ithink,Mildred,youcantrustmenottobeabeast。’’
Shecoloredandlookedathimwithquickcontrition。
``I’mashamedofmyself,’’saidshe。``PleaseforgetthatIsaidanything。I’lltakewhatImust,andI’llpayitbackassoonasIcan。And——thankyou,Stanley。’’
Thetearswereinhereyes。``IfIhadanythingworthyourtakingI’dbegladtogiveittoyou。Whatvainfoolswewomenare!’’
``Aren’tyou,though!’’laughedhe。``Andnowit’sallsettled——untilyou’reonthestage,andfree,andthemoney’spaidback——WITHinterest。Ishallchargeyousixpercent。’’
Whenshefirstknewhimshehadnotbeenintheleastimpressedbywhatnowseemedtoherhisfinestandraresttrait,for,inthosedaysshehadbeenasignorantoftherealitiesofhumannatureasonewhohasneveradventuredhisboatbeyondthemouthofthepeacefulland-lockedharborisignorantoftheopensea。Butinthehardyearsshehadbeenlearning——notonlyfromPresburyandGeneralSiddall,butfromthecookandthehousemaid,fromeverycreditor,everytradesman,everyonewhoseattitudesociallytowardherhadbeenmodifiedbyherchangedfortunes——andwhoseattitudehadnotbeenchanged?Thus,shewasnowabletoappreciate——atleastinsomemeasure——StanleyBaird’sdelicacyandtact。No,notdelicacyandtact,forthatimpliedeffort。Hisabilitytoputthisofferinsuchawaythatshecouldacceptwithoutseriousembarrassmentarosefromagenuineindifferencetomoneyasmoney,ahabitoflookinguponitsimplyasameanstoanend。Heofferedherthemoneypreciselyashewouldhaveofferedherhissuperiorstrengthifithadbeennecessarytocrossatoodeepandswiftcreek。Shehadthesensethathefelthewasdoingsomethingevenlessnotablethanheadmitted,andthathetalkedofitasavaluableandratherunusualservicesimplybecauseitwasthehabitthustoregardsuchmatters。
Astheytalkedonof``thegreatcareer’’herspiritswentupandup。Itwasevidentthathenowhadanewandkeeninterestinlife,thatshewasdoinghimagreaterfavorthanhewasdoingher。Hehadalwayshadmoney,plentyofit,morethanhecoulduse。Henowhadmorethanever——for,severalrichrelativeshaddiedand,afterthehabitoftherich,hadlefteverythingtohim,theoneofalltheconnectionswhoneededitleast。Hehadaveryhumanaversiontospendingmoneyuponpeopleorthingshedidnotlike。Hewouldhavefoughttothelastcourtanattemptbyhiswifetogetalimony。Hehadareputationwiththe``charitygang’’ofbeingstingybecausehewouldnotgivethemsomuchasthepriceofabazaarticket。
Also,theimpecuniousspongersathisclubsspreadhisfameasa``tight-wad’’becauseherefusedtoletthem``stickhimup’’forevenaroundofdrinks。Wheremanyareallystingymanyieldedthroughweaknessorfearofpublicopinion,hestoodfirm。Hisonenotablesurrenderofanykindhadbeenhismarriage。
thatbitterexperiencehadcuredhimofthesurrenderinghabitforalltime。Thenceforthhedidabsolutelyandineverythingashepleased。
Mildredhadheardthathewascloseaboutmoney。
Shehadallbutforgottenit,becauseherownexperiencewithhimhadmadesuchachargeseemridiculous。
Shenowassumed——sofarasshethoughtaboutitatall——thathewasextremelygenerous。Shedidnotrealizewhatafinediscriminatinggenerosityhiswas,orhowstrikinganevidenceofhisbeliefinheraswellasofhislikingforher。
Asherosetogohesaid:``Youmustn’tforgetthatourarrangementisasecretbetweenus。Neitherofuscanaffordtohaveanyoneknowit。’’
``Thereisn’tanyoneintheworldwhowouldn’tmisunderstandit,’’saidshe,withouttheleastfeelingofembarrassment。
``Justso,’’saidhe。``AndIwantyoutoliveinsuchawaythatIcancometocall。Wemustarrangethingssothatyouwilltakeyourownname——’’
``IintendtousethenameMaryStevensinmywork,’’sheinterrupted。
``Buttheremustn’tbeanyconcealment,anymysterytoexcitecuriosityandscandal——’’
Thistimetheinterruptionwasherexpression。Heturnedtoseewhathadstartledher,andsawinthedoorwayofthedrawing-roomthegrotesquelyneatandstylishfigureofthelittlegeneral。Beforeeithercouldspeakhesaid:
``Howd’youdo,Mr。Baird?You’llpardonmeifIaskyoutoleavemealonewithmyWIFE。’’
Stanleymetthesituationwithperfectcoolness。
``Howareyou,General?’’saidhe。``Certainly,I
wasjustgoing。’’HeextendedhishandtoMildred,saidinacorrecttoneofconventionalfriendliness,``Thenyou’llletmeknowwhenyou’resettled?’’Hebowed,movedtowardthedoor,shookhandswiththegeneral,andpassedout,givingfromstarttofinishamodelexampleofamanoftheworldextricatinghim-
selffromanimpossiblesituationandleavingitthebetterforhishavingbeenentangled。ToamanofSiddall’sincessantandclumsyself-consciousnesssuchunaffectedeasecouldnotbutbeproofpositiveofMildred’sinnocence——unlesshehadoverheard。Andhisfirstwordsconvincedherthathehadnot。Saidhe:
``Soyousentforyouroldadmirer?’’
``Iranacrosshimaccidentally,’’repliedMildred。
``Iknow,’’saidthelittlegeneral。``Mymenpickedyouupatthepierandhaven’tlostsightofyousince。
It’sfortunatethatI’vekeptmyselfinformed,orI
mighthavemisunderstoodthatchap’sbeinghere。’’A
queer,cloudylookcameintohiseyes。``Imustgivehimawarningforsafety’ssake。’’HewavedhishandindismissalofsuchanunimportanttrifleastheaccidentalBaird。Hewenton,hiswickedeyesbentcoldlyanddullyuponher:``Doyouknowwhatkindofahousethisis?’’
``StanleyBairdurgedmetoleave,’’repliedshe。
``ButIshallstayuntilIfindabetter——andthat’snoteasy。’’
``Yes,mymenhavereportedtomeonthedifficultiesyou’vehad。ItwascertainlyfortunateforyouthatIhadthemlookafteryou。OtherwiseI’dneverhaveunderstoodyourlandinginthissortofahouse。
Youarereadytocomewithme?’’
``YoursecretaryexplainedthatifIleftthehotelitwastheend。’’
``Hetoldyouthatbymyorders。’’
``Soheexplained,’’saidMildred。Sheseatedherself,overcomebyasuddenlassitudethatwasaccompaniednotbyfear,butbyindifference。``Won’tyousitdown?
Iamwillingtohearwhatyouhavetosay。’’
Thelittlegeneral,abouttosit,wassoastonishedthathestraightenedandstiffenedhimself。``InconsentingtooverlookyourconductandtakeyoubackIhavegonefartherthanIeverintended。Ihavetakenintoconsiderationyouryouthandinexperience。’’
``ButIamnotgoingback,’’saidMildred。
Thelittlegeneralslowlyseatedhimself。``Youhavelessthantwohundredandfiftydollarsleft,’’saidhe。
``Really?YourspiesknowbetterthanI。’’
``IhaveseenPresbury。Heassuresmethatinnocircumstanceswillheandyourmothertakeyouback。’’
``Theywillnothavethechancetorefuse,’’saidMildred。
``Asforyourbrother——’’
``Ihavenobrother,’’saidshecoldly。
``Thenyouarecomingbackwithme。’’
``No,’’saidMildred。``Ishould’’——shecastaboutforanimpressivealternative——``Ishouldstayonhere,rather。’’
Thelittlegeneral——hisneatvarnishedleatherandbe-spattedshoesjusttouchedthefloor——examinedhishighlypolishedtop-hatatseveralangles。Finallyhesaid:``Youneednotfearthatyourmisconductwillberememberedagainstyou。Ishalltreatyouineverywayasmywife。Ishallassumethatyour——yourflightwasanimpulsethatyouregret。’’
``Ishan’tgoback,’’saidMildred。``Nothingyoucouldofferwouldchangeme。’’
``Icannotmakeanyimmediateconcessiononthe——
thematterthatcausedyoutogo,’’pursuedhe,asifshehadnotspoken,``butifIseethatyouhavereliabilityandgoodsense,I’llagreetogiveyouanallowancelater。’’
Mildredeyedhimcuriously。``Whyareyoumakingtheseoffers,theseconcessions?’’shesaid。``Youthinkeveryoneintheworldisafoolexceptyourself。You’regreatlydeceived。Iknowthatyoudon’tmeanwhatyou’vebeensaying。Iknowthatifyougotmeinyourpoweragain,youwoulddosomethingfrightful。
I’veseenthroughthatmaskyouwear。Iknowthekindofmanyouare。’’