首页 >出版文学> THE PASSIONATE PILGRI>第5章
  AsIturnedfromthewindow,myeyesalightedontheportrait。Ithadfallendead,likeacandleaftersunrise。itfollowedmewitheyesofpaint。Iknewittobelike,andmarvelledatthetenacityoftypeinthatdecliningrace。butthelikenesswasswallowedupindifference。Irememberedhowithadseemedtomeathingunapproachableinthelife,acreatureratherofthepainter’scraftthanofthemodestyofnature,andImarvelledatthethought,andexultedintheimageofOlalla。BeautyIhadseenbefore,andnotbeencharmed,andIhadbeenoftendrawntowomen,whowerenotbeautifulexcepttome。butinOlallaallthatI
  desiredandhadnotdaredtoimaginewasunited。
  Ididnotseeherthenextday,andmyheartachedandmyeyeslongedforher,asmenlongformorning。Butthedayafter,whenI
  returned,aboutmyusualhour,shewasoncemoreonthegallery,andourlooksoncemoremetandembraced。Iwouldhavespoken,I
  wouldhavedrawnneartoher。butstronglyasshepluckedatmyheart,drawingmelikeamagnet,somethingyetmoreimperiouswithheldme。andIcouldonlybowandpassby。andshe,leavingmysalutationunanswered,onlyfollowedmewithhernobleeyes。
  Ihadnowherimagebyrote,andasIconnedthetraitsinmemoryitseemedasifIreadherveryheart。Shewasdressedwithsomethingofhermother’scoquetry,andloveofpositivecolour。
  Herrobe,whichIknowshemusthavemadewithherownhands,clungaboutherwithacunninggrace。Afterthefashionofthatcountry,besides,herbodicestoodopeninthemiddle,inalongslit,andhere,inspiteofthepovertyofthehouse,agoldcoin,hangingbyaribbon,layonherbrownbosom。Thesewereproofs,hadanybeenneeded,ofherinborndelightinlifeandherownloveliness。Ontheotherhand,inhereyesthathunguponmine,Icouldreaddepthbeyonddepthofpassionandsadness,lightsofpoetryandhope,blacknessesofdespair,andthoughtsthatwereabovetheearth。Itwasalovelybody,buttheinmate,thesoul,wasmorethanworthyofthatlodging。ShouldIleavethisincomparableflowertowitherunseenontheseroughmountains?ShouldIdespisethegreatgiftofferedmeintheeloquentsilenceofhereyes?Herewasasoulimmured。shouldInotburstitsprison?Allsideconsiderationsfellofffromme。wereshethechildofHerodIsworeIshouldmakehermine。andthatveryeveningIsetmyself,withamingledsenseoftreacheryanddisgrace,tocaptivatethebrother。PerhapsI
  readhimwithmorefavourableeyes,perhapsthethoughtofhissisteralwayssummonedupthebetterqualitiesofthatimperfectsoul。buthehadneverseemedtomesoamiable,andhisverylikenesstoOlalla,whileitannoyed,yetsoftenedme。
  Athirddaypassedinvain-anemptydesertofhours。Iwouldnotloseachance,andloiteredallafternooninthecourtwheretogivemyselfacountenanceIspokemorethanusualwiththeSenora。
  GodknowsitwaswithamosttenderandsincereinterestthatInowstudiedher。andevenasforFelipe,sonowforthemother,Iwasconsciousofagrowingwarmthoftoleration。AndyetIwondered。
  EvenwhileIspokewithher,shewoulddozeoffintoalittlesleep,andpresentlyawakeagainwithoutembarrassment。andthiscomposurestaggeredme。Andagain,asImarkedhermakeinfinitesimalchangesinherposture,savouringandlingeringonthebodilypleasureofthemovement,Iwasdriventowonderatthisdepthofpassivesensuality。Shelivedinherbody。andherconsciousnesswasallsunkintoanddisseminatedthroughhermembers,whereitluxuriouslydwelt。Lastly,Icouldnotgrowaccustomedtohereyes。Eachtimesheturnedonmethesegreatbeautifulandmeaninglessorbs,wideopentotheday,butclosedagainsthumaninquiry-eachtimeIhadoccasiontoobservethelivelychangesofherpupilswhichexpandedandcontractedinabreath-Iknownotwhatitwascameoverme,Icanfindnonameforthemingledfeelingofdisappointment,annoyance,anddistastethatjarredalongmynerves。Itriedheronavarietyofsubjects,equallyinvain。andatlastledthetalktoherdaughter。Buteventheresheprovedindifferent。saidshewaspretty,whichaswithchildrenwasherhighestwordofcommendation,butwasplainlyincapableofanyhigherthought。andwhenIremarkedthatOlallaseemedsilent,merelyyawnedinmyfaceandrepliedthatspeechwasofnogreatusewhenyouhadnothingtosay。’Peoplespeakmuch,verymuch,’sheadded,lookingatmewithexpandedpupils。andthenagainyawnedandagainshowedmeamouththatwasasdaintyasatoy。ThistimeItookthehint,and,leavinghertoherrepose,wentupintomyownchambertositbytheopenwindow,lookingonthehillsandnotbeholdingthem,sunkinlustrousanddeepdreams,andhearkeninginfancytothenoteofavoicethatI
  hadneverheard。
  Iawokeonthefifthmorningwithabrightnessofanticipationthatseemedtochallengefate。Iwassureofmyself,lightofheartandfoot,andresolvedtoputmyloveincontinentlytothetouchofknowledge。Itshouldlienolongerunderthebondsofsilence,adumbthing,livingbytheeyeonly,liketheloveofbeasts。butshouldnowputonthespirit,andenteruponthejoysofthecompletehumanintimacy。Ithoughtofitwithwildhopes,likeavoyagertoElDorado。intothatunknownandlovelycountryofhersoul,Inolongertrembledtoadventure。YetwhenIdidindeedencounterher,thesameforceofpassiondescendedonmeandatoncesubmergedmymind。speechseemedtodropawayfrommelikeachildishhabit。andIbutdrewneartoherasthegiddymandrawsneartothemarginofagulf。ShedrewbackfrommealittleasI
  came。buthereyesdidnotwaverfrommine,andtheseluredmeforward。Atlast,whenIwasalreadywithinreachofher,I
  stopped。Wordsweredeniedme。ifIadvancedIcouldbutclasphertomyheartinsilence。andallthatwassaneinme,allthatwasstillunconquered,revoltedagainstthethoughtofsuchanaccost。
  Sowestoodforasecond,allourlifeinoureyes,exchangingsalvosofattractionandyeteachresisting。andthen,withagreateffortofthewill,andconsciousatthesametimeofasuddenbitternessofdisappointment,Iturnedandwentawayinthesamesilence。
  WhatpowerlayuponmethatIcouldnotspeak?Andshe,whywasshealsosilent?Whydidshedrawawaybeforemedumbly,withfascinatedeyes?Wasthislove?orwasitamerebruteattraction,mindlessandinevitable,likethatofthemagnetforthesteel?Wehadneverspoken,wewerewhollystrangers:andyetaninfluence,strongasthegraspofagiant,sweptussilentlytogether。Onmyside,itfilledmewithimpatience。andyetIwassurethatshewasworthy。Ihadseenherbooks,readherverses,andthus,inasense,divinedthesoulofmymistress。Butonherside,itstruckmealmostcold。Ofme,sheknewnothingbutmybodilyfavour。shewasdrawntomeasstonesfalltotheearth。thelawsthatruletheearthconductedher,unconsenting,tomyarms。andIdrewbackatthethoughtofsuchabridal,andbegantobejealousformyself。
  ItwasnotthusthatIdesiredtobeloved。AndthenIbegantofallintoagreatpityforthegirlherself。Ithoughthowsharpmustbehermortification,thatshe,thestudent,therecluse,Felipe’ssaintlymonitress,shouldhavethusconfessedanoverweeningweaknessforamanwithwhomshehadneverexchangedaword。Andatthecomingofpity,allotherthoughtswereswallowedup。andIlongedonlytofindandconsoleandreassureher。totellherhowwhollyherlovewasreturnedonmyside,andhowherchoice,evenifblindlymade,wasnotunworthy。
  Thenextdayitwasgloriousweather。depthupondepthofblueover-canopiedthemountains。thesunshonewide。andthewindinthetreesandthemanyfallingtorrentsinthemountainsfilledtheairwithdelicateandhauntingmusic。YetIwasprostratedwithsadness。MyheartweptforthesightofOlalla,asachildweepsforitsmother。Isatdownonaboulderonthevergeofthelowcliffsthatboundtheplateautothenorth。ThenceIlookeddownintothewoodedvalleyofastream,wherenofootcame。InthemoodIwasin,itwaseventouchingtobeholdtheplaceuntenanted。
  itlackedOlalla。andIthoughtofthedelightandgloryofalifepassedwhollywithherinthatstrongair,andamongtheseruggedandlovelysurroundings,atfirstwithawhimperingsentiment,andthenagainwithsuchafieryjoythatIseemedtogrowinstrengthandstature,likeaSamson。
  AndthensuddenlyIwasawareofOlalladrawingnear。Sheappearedoutofagroveofcork-trees,andcamestraighttowardsme。andI
  stoodupandwaited。Sheseemedinherwalkingacreatureofsuchlifeandfireandlightnessasamazedme。yetshecamequietlyandslowly。Herenergywasintheslowness。butforinimitablestrength,Ifeltshewouldhaverun,shewouldhaveflowntome。
  Still,assheapproached,shekepthereyesloweredtotheground。
  andwhenshehaddrawnquitenear,itwaswithoutoneglancethatsheaddressedme。AtthefirstnoteofhervoiceIstarted。ItwasforthisIhadbeenwaiting。thiswasthelasttestofmylove。
  Andlo,herenunciationwaspreciseandclear,notlispingandincompletelikethatofherfamily。andthevoice,thoughdeeperthanusualwithwomen,wasstillbothyouthfulandwomanly。Shespokeinarichchord。goldencontraltostrainsmingledwithhoarseness,astheredthreadsweremingledwiththebrownamonghertresses。Itwasnotonlyavoicethatspoketomyheartdirectly。butitspoketomeofher。Andyetherwordsimmediatelyplungedmebackupondespair。
  ’Youwillgoaway,’shesaid,’to-day。’
  Herexamplebrokethebondsofmyspeech。Ifeltaslightenedofaweight,orasifaspellhadbeendissolved。IknownotinwhatwordsIanswered。but,standingbeforeheronthecliffs,Ipouredoutthewholeardourofmylove,tellingherthatIliveduponthethoughtofher,sleptonlytodreamofherloveliness,andwouldgladlyforswearmycountry,mylanguage,andmyfriends,toliveforeverbyherside。Andthen,stronglycommandingmyself,I
  changedthenote。Ireassured,Icomfortedher。ItoldherIhaddivinedinherapiousandheroicspirit,withwhichIwasworthytosympathise,andwhichIlongedtoshareandlighten。’Nature,’
  Itoldher,’wasthevoiceofGod,whichmendisobeyatperil。andifwewerethushumblydrawntogether,ay,evenasbyamiracleoflove,itmustimplyadivinefitnessinoursouls。wemustbemade,’Isaid-’madeforoneanother。Weshouldbemadrebels,’I
  criedout-’madrebelsagainstGod,nottoobeythisinstinct。’
  Sheshookherhead。’Youwillgoto-day,’sherepeated,andthenwithagesture,andinasudden,sharpnote-’no,notto-day,’shecried,’to-morrow!’
  Butatthissignofrelenting,powercameinuponmeinatide。I
  stretchedoutmyarmsandcalleduponhername。andsheleapedtomeandclungtome。Thehillsrockedaboutus,theearthquailed。
  ashockasofablowwentthroughmeandleftmeblindanddizzy。
  Andthenextmomentshehadthrustmeback,brokenrudelyfrommyarms,andfledwiththespeedofadeeramongthecork-trees。
  Istoodandshoutedtothemountains。Iturnedandwentbacktowardstheresidencia,waltzinguponair。Shesentmeaway,andyetIhadbuttocalluponhernameandshecametome。Thesewerebuttheweaknessesofgirls,fromwhichevenshe,thestrangestofhersex,wasnotexempted。Go?NotI,Olalla-O,notI,Olalla,myOlalla!Abirdsangnearby。andinthatseason,birdswererare。Itbademebeofgoodcheer。Andoncemorethewholecountenanceofnature,fromtheponderousandstablemountainsdowntothelightestleafandthesmallestdartingflyintheshadowofthegroves,begantostirbeforemeandtoputonthelineamentsoflifeandwearafaceofawfuljoy。Thesunshinestruckuponthehills,strongasahammerontheanvil,andthehillsshook。theearth,underthatvigorousinsulation,yieldedupheadyscents。thewoodssmoulderedintheblaze。Ifeltthethrilloftravailanddelightrunthroughtheearth。Somethingelemental,somethingrude,violent,andsavage,inthelovethatsanginmyheart,waslikeakeytonature’ssecrets。andtheverystonesthatrattledundermyfeetappearedaliveandfriendly。Olalla!Hertouchhadquickened,andrenewed,andstrungmeuptotheoldpitchofconcertwiththeruggedearth,toaswellingofthesoulthatmenlearntoforgetintheirpoliteassemblies。Loveburnedinmelikerage。tendernesswaxedfierce。Ihated,Iadored,Ipitied,I
  reveredherwithecstasy。Sheseemedthelinkthatboundmeinwithdeadthingsontheonehand,andwithourpureandpityingGodupontheother:athingbrutalanddivine,andakinatoncetotheinnocenceandtotheunbridledforcesoftheearth。
  Myheadthusreeling,Icameintothecourtyardoftheresidencia,andthesightofthemotherstruckmelikearevelation。Shesatthere,allslothandcontentment,blinkingunderthestrongsunshine,brandedwithapassiveenjoyment,acreaturesetquiteapart,beforewhommyardourfellawaylikeathingashamed。I
  stoppedamoment,and,commandingsuchshakentonesasIwasable,saidawordortwo。Shelookedatmewithherunfathomablekindness。hervoiceinreplysoundedvaguelyoutoftherealmofpeaceinwhichsheslumbered,andtherefellonmymind,forthefirsttime,asenseofrespectforonesouniformlyinnocentandhappy,andIpassedoninakindofwonderatmyself,thatIshouldbesomuchdisquieted。
  OnmytabletherelayapieceofthesameyellowpaperIhadseeninthenorthroom。itwaswrittenonwithpencilinthesamehand,Olalla’shand,andIpickeditupwithasuddensinkingofalarm,andread,’IfyouhaveanykindnessforOlalla,ifyouhaveanychivalryforacreaturesorelywrought,gofromhereto-day。inpity,inhonour,forthesakeofHimwhodied,Isupplicatethatyoushallgo。’Ilookedatthisawhileinmerestupidity,thenI
  begantoawakentoawearinessandhorroroflife。thesunshinedarkenedoutsideonthebarehills,andIbegantoshakelikeamaninterror。Thevacancythussuddenlyopenedinmylifeunmannedmelikeaphysicalvoid。Itwasnotmyheart,itwasnotmyhappiness,itwaslifeitselfthatwasinvolved。Icouldnotloseher。Isaidso,andstoodrepeatingit。Andthen,likeoneinadream,Imovedtothewindow,putforthmyhandtoopenthecasement,andthrustitthroughthepane。Thebloodspurtedfrommywrist。andwithaninstantaneousquietudeandcommandofmyself,Ipressedmythumbonthelittleleapingfountain,andreflectedwhattodo。Inthatemptyroomtherewasnothingtomypurpose。I
  felt,besides,thatIrequiredassistance。ThereshotintomymindahopethatOlallaherselfmightbemyhelper,andIturnedandwentdownstairs,stillkeepingmythumbuponthewound。
  TherewasnosignofeitherOlallaorFelipe,andIaddressedmyselftotherecess,whithertheSenorahadnowdrawnquitebackandsatdozingclosebeforethefire,fornodegreeofheatappearedtoomuchforher。
  ’Pardonme,’saidI,’ifIdisturbyou,butImustapplytoyouforhelp。’
  Shelookedupsleepilyandaskedmewhatitwas,andwiththeverywordsIthoughtshedrewinherbreathwithawideningofthenostrilsandseemedtocomesuddenlyandfullyalive。
  ’Ihavecutmyself,’Isaid,’andratherbadly。See!’AndIheldoutmytwohandsfromwhichthebloodwasoozinganddripping。
  Hergreateyesopenedwide,thepupilsshrankintopoints。aveilseemedtofallfromherface,andleaveitsharplyexpressiveandyetinscrutable。AndasIstillstood,marvellingalittleatherdisturbance,shecameswiftlyuptome,andstoopedandcaughtmebythehand。andthenextmomentmyhandwasathermouth,andshehadbittenmetothebone。Thepangofthebite,thesuddenspurtingofblood,andthemonstroushorroroftheact,flashedthroughmeallinone,andIbeatherback。andshesprangatmeagainandagain,withbestialcries,criesthatIrecognised,suchcriesashadawakenedmeonthenightofthehighwind。Herstrengthwaslikethatofmadness。minewasrapidlyebbingwiththelossofblood。mymindbesideswaswhirlingwiththeabhorrentstrangenessoftheonslaught,andIwasalreadyforcedagainstthewall,whenOlallaranbetwixtus,andFelipe,followingatabound,pinneddownhismotheronthefloor。
  Atrance-likeweaknessfelluponme。Isaw,heard,andfelt,butI
  wasincapableofmovement。Iheardthestrugglerolltoandfrouponthefloor,theyellsofthatcatamountringinguptoHeavenasshestrovetoreachme。IfeltOlallaclaspmeinherarms,herhairfallingonmyface,and,withthestrengthofaman,raiseandhalfdrag,halfcarrymeupstairsintomyownroom,whereshecastmedownuponthebed。ThenIsawherhastentothedoorandlockit,andstandaninstantlisteningtothesavagecriesthatshooktheresidencia。Andthen,swiftandlightasathought,shewasagainbesideme,bindingupmyhand,layingitinherbosom,moaningandmourningoveritwithdove-likesounds。Theywerenotwordsthatcametoher,theyweresoundsmorebeautifulthanspeech,infinitelytouching,infinitelytender。andyetasIlaythere,athoughtstungtomyheart,athoughtwoundedmelikeasword,athought,likeaworminaflower,profanedtheholinessofmylove。Yes,theywerebeautifulsounds,andtheywereinspiredbyhumantenderness。butwastheirbeautyhuman?
  AlldayIlaythere。Foralongtimethecriesofthatnamelessfemalething,asshestruggledwithherhalf-wittedwhelp,resoundedthroughthehouse,andpiercedmewithdespairingsorrowanddisgust。Theywerethedeath-cryofmylove。mylovewasmurdered。wasnotonlydead,butanoffencetome。andyet,thinkasIpleased,feelasImust,itstillswelledwithinmelikeastormofsweetness,andmyheartmeltedatherlooksandtouch。
  Thishorrorthathadsprungout,thisdoubtuponOlalla,thissavageandbestialstrainthatrannotonlythroughthewholebehaviourofherfamily,butfoundaplaceintheveryfoundationsandstoryofourlove-thoughitappalled,thoughitshockedandsickenedme,wasyetnotofpowertobreaktheknotofmyinfatuation。
  Whenthecrieshadceased,therecameascrapingatthedoor,bywhichIknewFelipewaswithout。andOlallawentandspoketohim-
  Iknownotwhat。Withthatexception,shestayedclosebesideme,nowkneelingbymybedandferventlypraying,nowsittingwithhereyesuponmine。Sothen,forthesesixhoursIdrankinherbeauty,andsilentlyperusedthestoryinherface。Isawthegoldencoinhoveronherbreaths。Isawhereyesdarkenandbrighter,andstillspeaknolanguagebutthatofanunfathomablekindness。Isawthefaultlessface,and,throughtherobe,thelinesofthefaultlessbody。Nightcameatlast,andinthegrowingdarknessofthechamber,thesightofherslowlymelted。
  buteventhenthetouchofhersmoothhandlingeredinmineandtalkedwithme。Toliethusindeadlyweaknessanddrinkinthetraitsofthebeloved,istoreawaketolovefromwhatevershockofdisillusion。Ireasonedwithmyself。andIshutmyeyesonhorrors,andagainIwasveryboldtoaccepttheworst。Whatmatteredit,ifthatimperioussentimentsurvived。ifhereyesstillbeckonedandattachedme。ifnow,evenasbefore,everyfibreofmydullbodyyearnedandturnedtoher?Lateoninthenightsomestrengthrevivedinme,andIspoke:-
  ’Olalla,’Isaid,’nothingmatters。Iasknothing。Iamcontent。I
  loveyou。’
  Shekneltdownawhileandprayed,andIdevoutlyrespectedherdevotions。Themoonhadbeguntoshineinupononesideofeachofthethreewindows,andmakeamistyclearnessintheroom,bywhichIsawherindistinctly。Whensherearoseshemadethesignofthecross。
  ’Itisformetospeak,’shesaid,’andforyoutolisten。Iknow。
  youcanbutguess。Iprayed,howIprayedforyoutoleavethisplace。Ibeggeditofyou,andIknowyouwouldhavegrantedmeeventhis。orifnot,Oletmethinkso!’
  ’Iloveyou,’Isaid。
  ’Andyetyouhavelivedintheworld,’shesaid。afterapause,’youareamanandwise。andIambutachild。Forgiveme,ifI
  seemtoteach,whoamasignorantasthetreesofthemountain。butthosewholearnmuchdobutskimthefaceofknowledge。theyseizethelaws,theyconceivethedignityofthedesign-thehorrorofthelivingfactfadesfromtheirmemory。Itiswewhositathomewithevilwhoremember,Ithink,andarewarnedandpity。Go,rather,gonow,andkeepmeinmind。SoIshallhavealifeinthecherishedplacesofyourmemory:alifeasmuchmyown,asthatwhichIleadinthisbody。’
  ’Iloveyou,’Isaidoncemore。andreachingoutmyweakhand,tookhers,andcarriedittomylips,andkissedit。Nordidsheresist,butwincedalittle。andIcouldseeherlookuponmewithafrownthatwasnotunkindly,onlysadandbaffled。Andthenitseemedshemadeacalluponherresolution。pluckedmyhandtowardsher,herselfatthesametimeleaningsomewhatforward,andlaiditonthebeatingofherheart。’There,’shecried,’youfeeltheveryfootfallofmylife。Itonlymovesforyou。itisyours。Butisitevenmine?Itismineindeedtoofferyou,asImighttakethecoinfrommyneck,asImightbreakalivebranchfromatree,andgiveityou。Andyetnotmine!Idwell,orIthinkIdwellifIexistatall,somewhereapart,animpotentprisoner,andcarriedaboutanddeafenedbyamobthatIdisown。Thiscapsule,suchasthrobsagainstthesidesofanimals,knowsyouatatouchforitsmaster。ay,itlovesyou!Butmysoul,doesmysoul?I
  thinknot。Iknownot,fearingtoask。Yetwhenyouspoketomeyourwordswereofthesoul。itisofthesoulthatyouask-itisonlyfromthesoulthatyouwouldtakeme。’
  ’Olalla,’Isaid,’thesoulandthebodyareone,andmostlysoinlove。Whatthebodychooses,thesoulloves。wherethebodyclings,thesoulcleaves。bodyforbody,soultosoul,theycometogetheratGod’ssignal。andthelowerpartifwecancallaughtlowisonlythefootstoolandfoundationofthehighest。’
  ’Haveyou,’shesaid,’seentheportraitsinthehouseofmyfathers?HaveyoulookedatmymotheroratFelipe?Haveyoureyesneverrestedonthatpicturethathangsbyyourbed?Shewhosatforitdiedagesago。andshedidevilinherlife。But,look-
  again:thereismyhandtotheleastline,therearemyeyesandmyhair。Whatismine,then,andwhatamI?Ifnotacurveinthispoorbodyofminewhichyoulove,andforthesakeofwhichyoudotinglydreamthatyoulovemenotagesturethatIcanframe,notatoneofmyvoice,notanylookfrommyeyes,no,notevennowwhenIspeaktohimIlove,buthasbelongedtoothers?Others,agesdead,havewooedothermenwithmyeyes。othermenhaveheardthepleadingofthesamevoicethatnowsoundsinyourears。Thehandsofthedeadareinmybosom。theymoveme,theypluckme,theyguideme。Iamapuppetattheircommand。andIbutreinformfeaturesandattributesthathavelongbeenlaidasidefromevilinthequietofthegrave。Isitmeyoulove,friend?ortheracethatmademe?Thegirlwhodoesnotknowandcannotanswerfortheleastportionofherself?orthestreamofwhichsheisatransitoryeddy,thetreeofwhichsheisthepassingfruit?Theraceexists。itisold,itiseveryoung,itcarriesitseternaldestinyinitsbosom。uponit,likewavesuponthesea,individualsucceedstoindividual,mockedwithasemblanceofself-control,buttheyarenothing。Wespeakofthesoul,butthesoulisintherace。’
  ’Youfretagainstthecommonlaw,’Isaid。’YourebelagainstthevoiceofGod,whichhehasmadesowinningtoconvince,soimperioustocommand。Hearit,andhowitspeaksbetweenus!Yourhandclingstomine,yourheartleapsatmytouch,theunknownelementsofwhichwearecompoundedawakeandruntogetheratalook。theclayoftheearthremembersitsindependentlifeandyearnstojoinus。wearedrawntogetherasthestarsareturnedaboutinspace,orasthetidesebbandflow,bythingsolderandgreaterthanweourselves。’
  ’Alas!’shesaid,’whatcanIsaytoyou?Myfathers,eighthundredyearsago,ruledallthisprovince:theywerewise,great,cunning,andcruel。theywereapickedraceoftheSpanish。theirflagsledinwar。thekingcalledthemhiscousin。thepeople,whentheropewasslungforthemorwhentheyreturnedandfoundtheirhovelssmoking,blasphemedtheirname。Presentlyachangebegan。
  Manhasrisen。ifhehassprungfromthebrutes,hecandescendagaintothesamelevel。Thebreathofwearinessblewontheirhumanityandthecordsrelaxed。theybegantogodown。theirmindsfellonsleep,theirpassionsawokeingusts,headyandsenselesslikethewindintheguttersofthemountains。beautywasstillhandeddown,butnolongertheguidingwitnorthehumanheart。theseedpassedon,itwaswrappedinflesh,thefleshcoveredthebones,buttheywerethebonesandthefleshofbrutes,andtheirmindwasasthemindofflies。IspeaktoyouasIdare。butyouhaveseenforyourselfhowthewheelhasgonebackwardwithmydoomedrace。Istand,asitwere,uponalittlerisinggroundinthisdesperatedescent,andseebothbeforeandbehind,bothwhatwehavelostandtowhatwearecondemnedtogofartherdownward。
  AndshallI-Ithatdwellapartinthehouseofthedead,mybody,loathingitsways-shallIrepeatthespell?ShallIbindanotherspirit,reluctantasmyown,intothisbewitchedandtempest-brokentenementthatInowsufferin?ShallIhanddownthiscursedvesselofhumanity,chargeitwithfreshlifeaswithfreshpoison,anddashit,likeafire,inthefacesofposterity?Butmyvowhasbeengiven。theraceshallceasefromofftheearth。Atthishourmybrotherismakingready。hisfootwillsoonbeonthestair。andyouwillgowithhimandpassoutofmysightforever。
  Thinkofmesometimesasonetowhomthelessonoflifewasveryharshlytold,butwhohearditwithcourage。asonewholovedyouindeed,butwhohatedherselfsodeeplythatherlovewashatefultoher。asonewhosentyouawayandyetwouldhavelongedtokeepyouforever。whohadnodearerhopethantoforgetyou,andnogreaterfearthantobeforgotten。’
  Shehaddrawntowardsthedoorasshespoke,herrichvoicesoundingsofterandfartheraway。andwiththelastwordshewasgone,andIlayaloneinthemoonlitchamber。WhatImighthavedonehadnotIlainboundbymyextremeweakness,Iknownot。butasitwastherefelluponmeagreatandblankdespair。Itwasnotlongbeforethereshoneinatthedoortheruddyglimmerofalantern,andFelipecoming,chargedmewithoutaworduponhisshoulders,andcarriedmedowntothegreatgate,wherethecartwaswaiting。Inthemoonlightthehillsstoodoutsharply,asiftheywereofcardboard。ontheglimmeringsurfaceoftheplateau,andfromamongthelowtreeswhichswungtogetherandsparkledinthewind,thegreatblackcubeoftheresidenciastoodoutbulkily,itsmassonlybrokenbythreedimlylightedwindowsinthenorthernfrontabovethegate。TheywereOlalla’swindows,andasthecartjoltedonwardsIkeptmyeyesfixeduponthemtill,wheretheroaddippedintoavalley,theywerelosttomyviewforever。Felipewalkedinsilencebesidetheshafts,butfromtimetotimehewouldcheekthemuleandseemtolookbackuponme。andatlengthdrewquitenearandlaidhishanduponmyhead。Therewassuchkindnessinthetouch,andsuchasimplicity,asofthebrutes,thattearsbrokefrommeliketheburstingofanartery。
  ’Felipe,’Isaid,’takemewheretheywillasknoquestions。’
  Hesaidneveraword,butheturnedhismuleabout,endforend,retracedsomepartofthewaywehadgone,and,strikingintoanotherpath,ledmetothemountainvillage,whichwas,aswesayinScotland,thekirktonofthatthinlypeopleddistrict。Somebrokenmemoriesdwellinmymindofthedaybreakingovertheplain,ofthecartstopping,ofarmsthathelpedmedown,ofabareroomintowhichIwascarried,andofaswoonthatfelluponmelikesleep。
  Thenextdayandthedaysfollowingtheoldpriestwasoftenatmysidewithhissnuff-boxandprayerbook,andafterawhile,whenI
  begantopickupstrength,hetoldmethatIwasnowonafairwaytorecovery,andmustassoonaspossiblehurrymydeparture。
  whereupon,withoutnaminganyreason,hetooksnuffandlookedatmesideways。Ididnotaffectignorance。IknewhemusthaveseenOlalla。’Sir,’saidI,’youknowthatIdonotaskinwantonness。
  Whatofthatfamily?’
  Hesaidtheywereveryunfortunate。thatitseemedadecliningrace,andthattheywereverypoorandhadbeenmuchneglected。
  ’Butshehasnot,’Isaid。’Thanks,doubtless,toyourself,sheisinstructedandwisebeyondtheuseofwomen。’
  ’Yes,’hesaid。’theSenoritaiswell-informed。Butthefamilyhasbeenneglected。’
  ’Themother?’Iqueried。
  ’Yes,themothertoo,’saidthePadre,takingsnuff。’ButFelipeisawell-intentionedlad。’
  ’Themotherisodd?’Iasked。
  ’Veryodd,’repliedthepriest。
  ’Ithink,sir,webeataboutthebush,’saidI。’Youmustknowmoreofmyaffairsthanyouallow。Youmustknowmycuriositytobejustifiedonmanygrounds。Willyounotbefrankwithme?’
  ’Myson,’saidtheoldgentleman,’Iwillbeveryfrankwithyouonmatterswithinmycompetence。onthoseofwhichIknownothingitdoesnotrequiremuchdiscretiontobesilent。Iwillnotfencewithyou,Itakeyourmeaningperfectly。andwhatcanIsay,butthatweareallinGod’shands,andthatHiswaysarenotasourways?Ihaveevenadvisedwithmysuperiorsinthechurch,butthey,too,weredumb。Itisagreatmystery。’
  ’Isshemad?’Iasked。
  ’Iwillansweryouaccordingtomybelief。Sheisnot,’returnedthePadre,’orshewasnot。Whenshewasyoung-Godhelpme,I
  fearIneglectedthatwildlamb-shewassurelysane。andyet,althoughitdidnotruntosuchheights,thesamestrainwasalreadynotable。ithadbeensobeforeherinherfather,ay,andbeforehim,andthisinclinedme,perhaps,tothinktoolightlyofit。Butthesethingsgoongrowing,notonlyintheindividualbutintherace。’
  ’Whenshewasyoung,’Ibegan,andmyvoicefailedmeforamoment,anditwasonlywithagreateffortthatIwasabletoadd,’wasshelikeOlalla?’
  ’NowGodforbid!’exclaimedthePadre。’Godforbidthatanymanshouldthinksoslightinglyofmyfavouritepenitent。No,no。theSenoritabutforherbeauty,whichIwishmosthonestlyshehadlessofhasnotahair’sresemblancetowhathermotherwasatthesameage。Icouldnotbeartohaveyouthinkso。though,Heavenknows,itwere,perhaps,betterthatyoushould。’
  Atthis,Iraisedmyselfinbed,andopenedmyhearttotheoldman。tellinghimofourloveandofherdecision,owningmyownhorrors,myownpassingfancies,buttellinghimthatthesewereatanend。andwithsomethingmorethanapurelyformalsubmission,appealingtohisjudgment。
  Heheardmeverypatientlyandwithoutsurprise。andwhenIhaddone,hesatforsometimesilent。Thenhebegan:’Thechurch,’
  andinstantlybrokeoffagaintoapologise。’Ihadforgotten,mychild,thatyouwerenotaChristian,’saidhe。’Andindeed,uponapointsohighlyunusual,eventhechurchcanscarcebesaidtohavedecided。Butwouldyouhavemyopinion?TheSenoritais,inamatterofthiskind,thebestjudge。Iwouldacceptherjudgment。’
  Onthebackofthathewentaway,norwashethenceforwardsoassiduousinhisvisits。indeed,evenwhenIbegantogetaboutagain,heplainlyfearedanddeprecatedmysociety,notasindistastebutmuchasamanmightbedisposedtofleefromtheriddlingsphynx。Thevillagers,too,avoidedme。theywereunwillingtobemyguidesuponthemountain。Ithoughttheylookedatmeaskance,andImadesurethatthemoresuperstitiouscrossedthemselvesonmyapproach。AtfirstIsetthisdowntomyhereticalopinions。butitbeganatlengthtodawnuponmethatifIwasthusredoubteditwasbecauseIhadstayedattheresidencia。
  Allmendespisethesavagenotionsofsuchpeasantry。andyetIwasconsciousofachillshadowthatseemedtofallanddwelluponmylove。Itdidnotconquer,butImaynotdeifythatitrestrainedmyardour。
  Somemileswestwardofthevillagetherewasagapinthesierra,fromwhichtheeyeplungeddirectupontheresidencia。andthitheritbecamemydailyhabittorepair。Awoodcrownedthesummit。andjustwherethepathwayissuedfromitsfringes,itwasoverhungbyaconsiderableshelfofrock,andthat,initsturn,wassurmountedbyacrucifixofthesizeoflifeandmorethanusuallypainfulindesign。Thiswasmyperch。thence,dayafterday,Ilookeddownupontheplateau,andthegreatoldhouse,andcouldseeFelipe,nobiggerthanafly,goingtoandfroaboutthegarden。Sometimesmistswoulddrawacrosstheview,andbebrokenupagainbymountainwinds。sometimestheplainslumberedbelowmeinunbrokensunshine。itwouldsometimesbeallblottedoutbyrain。Thisdistantpost,theseinterruptedsightsoftheplacewheremylifehadbeensostrangelychanged,suitedtheindecisionofmyhumour。
  Ipassedwholedaysthere,debatingwithmyselfthevariouselementsofourposition。nowleaningtothesuggestionsoflove,nowgivinganeartoprudence,andintheendhaltingirresolutebetweenthetwo。
  Oneday,asIwassittingonmyrock,therecamebythatwayasomewhatgauntpeasantwrappedinamantle。Hewasastranger,andplainlydidnotknowmeevenbyrepute。for,insteadofkeepingtheotherside,hedrewnearandsatdownbesideme,andwehadsoonfallenintalk。Amongotherthingshetoldmehehadbeenamuleteer,andinformeryearshadmuchfrequentedthesemountains。
  lateron,hehadfollowedthearmywithhismules,hadrealisedacompetence,andwasnowlivingretiredwithhisfamily。
  ’Doyouknowthathouse?’Iinquired,atlast,pointingtotheresidencia,forIreadilyweariedofanytalkthatkeptmefromthethoughtofOlalla。
  Helookedatmedarklyandcrossedhimself。
  ’Toowell,’hesaid,’itwastherethatoneofmycomradessoldhimselftoSatan。theVirginshieldusfromtemptations!Hehaspaidtheprice。heisnowburninginthereddestplaceinHell!’
  Afearcameuponme。Icouldanswernothing。andpresentlythemanresumed,asiftohimself:’Yes,’hesaid,’Oyes,Iknowit。I
  havepasseditsdoors。Therewassnowuponthepass,thewindwasdrivingit。sureenoughtherewasdeaththatnightuponthemountains,buttherewasworsebesidethehearth。Itookhimbythearm,Senor,anddraggedhimtothegate。Iconjuredhim,byallhelovedandrespected,togoforthwithme。Iwentonmykneesbeforehiminthesnow。andIcouldseehewasmovedbymyentreaty。Andjustthenshecameoutonthegallery,andcalledhimbyhisname。andheturned,andtherewasshestandingwithalampinherhandandsmilingonhimtocomeback。IcriedoutaloudtoGod,andthrewmyarmsabouthim,butheputmeby,andleftmealone。Hehadmadehischoice。Godhelpus。Iwouldprayforhim,buttowhatend?therearesinsthatnoteventhePopecanloose。’
  ’Andyourfriend,’Iasked,’whatbecameofhim?’
  ’Nay,Godknows,’saidthemuleteer。’Ifallbetruethatwehear,hisendwaslikehissin,athingtoraisethehair。’
  ’Doyoumeanthathewaskilled?’Iasked。
  ’Sureenough,hewaskilled,’returnedtheman。’Buthow?Ay,how?Butthesearethingsthatitissintospeakof。’
  ’Thepeopleofthathouse……’Ibegan。
  Butheinterruptedmewithasavageoutburst。’Thepeople?’hecried。’Whatpeople?ThereareneithermennorwomeninthathouseofSatan’s!What?haveyoulivedheresolong,andneverheard?’Andhereheputhismouthtomyearandwhispered,asifeventhefowlsofthemountainmighthaveover-heardandbeenstrickenwithhorror。
  Whathetoldmewasnottrue,norwasitevenoriginal。being,indeed,butanewedition,vampedupagainbyvillageignoranceandsuperstition,ofstoriesnearlyasancientastheraceofman。Itwasrathertheapplicationthatappalledme。Intheolddays,hesaid,thechurchwouldhaveburnedoutthatnestofbasilisks。butthearmofthechurchwasnowshortened。hisfriendMiguelhadbeenunpunishedbythehandsofmen,andlefttothemoreawfuljudgmentofanoffendedGod。Thiswaswrong。butitshouldbesonomore。
  ThePadrewassunkinage。hewasevenbewitchedhimself。buttheeyesofhisflockwerenowawaketotheirowndanger。andsomeday-ay,andbeforelong-thesmokeofthathouseshouldgouptoheaven。
  Heleftmefilledwithhorrorandfear。WhichwaytoturnIknewnot。whetherfirsttowarnthePadre,ortocarrymyill-newsdirecttothethreatenedinhabitantsoftheresidencia。Fatewastodecideforme。for,whileIwasstillhesitating,Ibeheldtheveiledfigureofawomandrawingneartomeupthepathway。Noveilcoulddeceivemypenetration。byeverylineandeverymovementIrecognisedOlalla。andkeepinghiddenbehindacorneroftherock,Isufferedhertogainthesummit。ThenIcameforward。Sheknewmeandpaused,butdidnotspeak。I,too,remainedsilent。andwecontinuedforsometimetogazeuponeachotherwithapassionatesadness。
  ’Ithoughtyouhadgone,’shesaidatlength。’Itisallthatyoucandoforme-togo。ItisallIeveraskedofyou。Andyoustillstay。Butdoyouknow,thateverydayheapsuptheperilofdeath,notonlyonyourhead,butonours?Areporthasgoneaboutthemountain。itisthoughtyouloveme,andthepeoplewillnotsufferit。’
  Isawshewasalreadyinformedofherdanger,andIrejoicedatit。
  ’Olalla,’Isaid,’Iamreadytogothisday,thisveryhour,butnotalone。’
  Shesteppedasideandkneltdownbeforethecrucifixtopray,andI
  stoodbyandlookednowatherandnowattheobjectofheradoration,nowatthelivingfigureofthepenitent,andnowattheghastly,daubedcountenance,thepaintedwounds,andtheprojectedribsoftheimage。Thesilencewasonlybrokenbythewailingofsomelargebirdsthatcircledsidelong,asifinsurpriseoralarm,aboutthesummitofthehills。PresentlyOlallaroseagain,turnedtowardsme,raisedherveil,and,stillleaningwithonehandontheshaftofthecrucifix,lookeduponmewithapaleandsorrowfulcountenance。
  ’Ihavelaidmyhanduponthecross,’shesaid。’ThePadresaysyouarenoChristian。butlookupforamomentwithmyeyes,andbeholdthefaceoftheManofSorrows。WeareallsuchasHewas-
  theinheritorsofsin。wemustallbearandexpiateapastwhichwasnotours。thereisinallofus-ay,eveninme-asparkleofthedivine。LikeHim,wemustendureforalittlewhile,untilmorningreturnsbringingpeace。Suffermetopassonuponmywayalone。itisthusthatIshallbeleastlonely,countingformyfriendHimwhoisthefriendofallthedistressed。itisthusthatIshallbethemosthappy,havingtakenmyfarewellofearthlyhappiness,andwillinglyacceptedsorrowformyportion。’
  Ilookedatthefaceofthecrucifix,and,thoughIwasnofriendtoimages,anddespisedthatimitativeandgrimacingartofwhichitwasarudeexample,somesenseofwhatthethingimpliedwascarriedhometomyintelligence。Thefacelookeddownuponmewithapainfulanddeadlycontraction。buttheraysofagloryencircledit,andremindedmethatthesacrificewasvoluntary。Itstoodthere,crowningtherock,asitstillstandsonsomanyhighwaysides,vainlypreachingtopassers-by,anemblemofsadandnobletruths。thatpleasureisnotanend,butanaccident。thatpainisthechoiceofthemagnanimous。thatitisbesttosufferallthingsanddowell。Iturnedandwentdownthemountaininsilence。andwhenIlookedbackforthelasttimebeforethewoodclosedaboutmypath,IsawOlallastillleaningonthecrucifix。
  THETREASUREOFFRANCHARD。
  CHAPTERI。BYTHEDYINGMOUNTEBANK。
  TheyhadsentforthedoctorfromBourronbeforesix。Abouteightsomevillagerscameroundfortheperformance,andweretoldhowmattersstood。Itseemedalibertyforamountebanktofallilllikerealpeople,andtheymadeoffagainindudgeon。BytenMadameTentaillonwasgravelyalarmed,andhadsentdownthestreetforDoctorDesprez。
  TheDoctorwasatworkoverhismanuscriptsinonecornerofthelittledining-room,andhiswifewasasleepoverthefireinanother,whenthemessengerarrived。
  ’Sapristi!’saidtheDoctor,’youshouldhavesentformebefore。
  Itwasacaseforhurry。’Andhefollowedthemessengerashewas,inhisslippersandskull-cap。
  Theinnwasnotthirtyyardsaway,butthemessengerdidnotstopthere。hewentinatonedoorandoutbyanotherintothecourt,andthenledthewaybyaflightofstepsbesidethestable,totheloftwherethemountebanklaysick。IfDoctorDesprezweretoliveathousandyears,hewouldneverforgethisarrivalinthatroom。
  fornotonlywasthescenepicturesque,butthemomentmadeadateinhisexistence。Wereckonourlives,Ihardlyknowwhy,fromthedateofourfirstsorryappearanceinsociety,asiffromafirsthumiliation。fornoactorcancomeuponthestagewithaworsegrace。Nottogofurtherback,whichwouldbejudgedtoocurious,therearesubsequentlymanymovinganddecisiveaccidentsinthelivesofall,whichwouldmakeaslogicalaperiodasthisofbirth。Andhere,forinstance,DoctorDesprez,amanpastforty,whohadmadewhatiscalledafailureinlife,andwasmoreovermarried,foundhimselfatanewpointofdeparturewhenheopenedthedooroftheloftaboveTentaillon’sstable,Itwasalargeplace,lightedonlybyasinglecandlesetuponthefloor。Themountebanklayonhisbackuponapallet。alargeman,withaQuixoticnoseinflamedwithdrinking。MadameTentaillonstoopedoverhim,applyingahotwaterandmustardembrocationtohisfeet。andonachairclosebysatalittlefellowofelevenortwelve,withhisfeetdangling。Thesethreeweretheonlyoccupants,excepttheshadows。Buttheshadowswereacompanyinthemselves。theextentoftheroomexaggeratedthemtoagiganticsize,andfromthelowpositionofthecandlethelightstruckupwardsandproduceddeformedforeshortenings。Themountebank’sprofilewasenlargeduponthewallincaricature,anditwasstrangetoseehisnoseshortenandlengthenastheflamewasblownaboutbydraughts。AsforMadameTentaillon,hershadowwasnomorethanagrosshumpofshoulders,withnowandagainahemisphereofhead。Thechairlegswerespindledoutaslongasstilts,andtheboysetperchedatopofthem,likeacloud,inthecorneroftheroof。
  ItwastheboywhotooktheDoctor’sfancy。Hehadagreatarchedskull,theforeheadandthehandsofamusician,andapairofhauntingeyes。Itwasnotmerelythattheseeyeswerelarge,orsteady,orthesoftestruddybrown。Therewasalookinthem,besides,whichthrilledtheDoctor,andmadehimhalfuneasy。Hewassurehehadseensuchalookbefore,andyethecouldnotrememberhoworwhere。Itwasasifthisboy,whowasquiteastrangertohim,hadtheeyesofanoldfriendoranoldenemy。
  Andtheboywouldgivehimnopeace。heseemedprofoundlyindifferenttowhatwasgoingon,orratherabstractedfromitinasuperiorcontemplation,beatinggentlywithhisfeetagainstthebarsofthechair,andholdinghishandsfoldedonhislap。But,forallthat,hiseyeskeptfollowingtheDoctorabouttheroomwithathoughtfulfixityofgaze。Desprezcouldnottellwhetherhewasfascinatingtheboy,ortheboywasfascinatinghim。Hebusiedhimselfoverthesickman:heputquestions,hefeltthepulse,hejested,hegrewalittlehotandswore:andstill,wheneverhelookedround,therewerethebrowneyeswaitingforhiswiththesameinquiring,melancholygaze。
  AtlasttheDoctorhitonthesolutionataleap。Herememberedthelooknow。Thelittlefellow,althoughhewasasstraightasadart,hadtheeyesthatgousuallywithacrookedback。hewasnotatalldeformed,andyetadeformedpersonseemedtobelookingatyoufrombelowhisbrows。TheDoctordrewalongbreath,hewassomuchrelievedtofindatheoryforhelovedtheoriesandtoexplainawayhisinterest。
  Forallthat,hedespatchedtheinvalidwithunusualhaste,and,stillkneelingwithonekneeonthefloor,turnedalittleroundandlookedtheboyoverathisleisure。Theboywasnotintheleastputout,butlookedplacidlybackattheDoctor。
  ’Isthisyourfather?’askedDesprez。
  ’Oh,no,’returnedtheboy。’mymaster。’
  ’Areyoufondofhim?’continuedtheDoctor。
  ’No,sir,’saidtheboy。
  MadameTentaillonandDesprezexchangedexpressiveglances。
  ’Thatisbad,myman,’resumedthelatter,withashadeofsternness。’Everyoneshouldbefondofthedying,orconcealtheirsentiments。andyourmasterhereisdying。IfIhavewatchedabirdalittlewhilestealingmycherries,Ihaveathoughtofdisappointmentwhenhefliesawayovermygardenwall,andIseehimsteerfortheforestandvanish。Howmuchmoreacreaturesuchasthis,sostrong,soastute,sorichlyendowedwithfaculties!
  WhenIthinkthat,inafewhours,thespeechwillbesilenced,thebreathextinct,andeventheshadowvanishedfromthewall,Iwhoneversawhim,thisladywhoknewhimonlyasaguest,aretouchedwithsomeaffection。’
  Theboywassilentforalittle,andappearedtobereflecting。
  ’Youdidnotknowhim,’herepliedatlast,’hewasabadman。’
  ’Heisalittlepagan,’saidthelandlady。’Forthatmatter,theyareallthesame,thesemountebanks,tumblers,artists,andwhatnot。Theyhavenointerior。’
  ButtheDoctorwasstillscrutinisingthelittlepagan,hiseyebrowsknottedanduplifted。
  ’Whatisyourname?’heasked。
  ’Jean-Marie,’saidthelad。
  Desprezleapeduponhimwithoneofhissuddenflashesofexcitement,andfelthisheadalloverfromanethnologicalpointofview。
  ’Celtic,Celtic!’hesaid。
  ’Celtic!’criedMadameTentaillon,whohadperhapsconfoundedthewordwithhydrocephalous。’Poorlad!isitdangerous?’
  ’Thatdepends,’returnedtheDoctorgrimly。Andthenoncemoreaddressingtheboy:’Andwhatdoyoudoforyourliving,Jean-
  Marie?’heinquired。
  ’Itumble,’wastheanswer。
  ’So!Tumble?’repeatedDesprez。’Probablyhealthful。Ihazardtheguess,MadameTentaillon,thattumblingisahealthfulwayoflife。Andhaveyouneverdoneanythingelsebuttumble?’
  ’BeforeIlearnedthat,Iusedtosteal,’answeredJean-Mariegravely。
  ’Uponmyword!’criedthedoctor。’Youareanicelittlemanforyourage。Madame,whenmyCONFREREcomesfromBourron,youwillcommunicatemyunfavourableopinion。Ileavethecaseinhishands。butofcourse,onanyalarmingsymptom,aboveallifthereshouldbeasignofrally,donothesitatetoknockmeup。Iamadoctornolonger,IthankGod。butIhavebeenone。Goodnight,madame。Goodsleeptoyou,Jean-Marie。’
  CHAPTERII。MORNINGTALK
  DOCTORDESPREZalwaysroseearly。Beforethesmokearose,beforethefirstcartrattledoverthebridgetotheday’slabourinthefields,hewastobefoundwanderinginhisgarden。Nowhewouldpickabunchofgrapes。nowhewouldeatabigpearunderthetrellice。nowhewoulddrawallsortsoffanciesonthepathwiththeendofhiscane。nowhewouldgodownandwatchtheriverrunningendlesslypastthetimberlanding-placeatwhichhemooredhisboat。Therewasnotime,heusedtosay,formakingtheoriesliketheearlymorning。’Iriseearlierthananyoneelseinthevillage,’heonceboasted。’ItisafairconsequencethatIknowmoreandwishtodolesswithmyknowledge。’
  TheDoctorwasaconnoisseurofsunrises,andlovedagoodtheatricaleffecttousherintheday。Hehadatheoryofdew,bywhichhecouldpredicttheweather。Indeed,mostthingsservedhimtothatend:thesoundofthebellsfromalltheneighbouringvillages,thesmelloftheforest,thevisitsandthebehaviourofbothbirdsandfishes,thelookoftheplantsinhisgarden,thedispositionofcloud,thecolourofthelight,andlast,althoughnotleast,thearsenalofmeteorologicalinstrumentsinalouvre-
  boardedhutchuponthelawn。EversincehehadsettledatGretz,hehadbeengrowingmoreandmoreintothelocalmeteorologist,theunpaidchampionofthelocalclimate。Hethoughtatfirsttherewasnoplacesohealthfulinthearrondissement。Bytheendofthesecondyear,heprotestedtherewasnonesowholesomeinthewholedepartment。AndforsometimebeforehemetJean-MariehehadbeenpreparedtochallengeallFranceandthebetterpartofEuropeforarivaltohischosenspot。
  ’Doctor,’hewouldsay-’doctorisafoulword。Itshouldnotbeusedtoladies。Itimpliesdisease。Iremarkit,asaflawinourcivilisation,thatwehavenottheproperhorrorofdisease。NowI,formypart,havewashedmyhandsofit。Ihaverenouncedmylaureation。Iamnodoctor。IamonlyaworshipperofthetruegoddessHygieia。Ah,believeme,itisshewhohasthecestus!
  Andhere,inthisexiguoushamlet,hassheplacedhershrine:hereshedwellsandlavisheshergifts。hereIwalkwithherintheearlymorning,andsheshowsmehowstrongshehasmadethepeasants,howfruitfulshehasmadethefields,howthetreesgrowuptallandcomelyunderhereyes,andthefishesintheriverbecomecleanandagileatherpresence-Rheumatism!’hewouldcry,onsomemalapertinterruption,’O,yes,Ibelievewedohavealittlerheumatism。Thatcouldhardlybeavoided,youknow,onariver。Andofcoursetheplacestandsalittlelow。andthemeadowsaremarshy,there’snodoubt。But,mydearsir,lookatBourron!Bourronstandshigh。Bourronisclosetotheforest。
  plentyofozonethere,youwouldsay。Well,comparedwithGretz,Bourronisaperfectshambles。’
  Themorningafterhehadbeensummonedtothedyingmountebank,theDoctorvisitedthewharfatthetailofhisgarden,andhadalonglookattherunningwater。Thishecalledprayer。butwhetherhisadorationswereaddressedtothegoddessHygieiaorsomemoreorthodoxdeity,neverplainlyappeared。Forhehaduttereddoubtfuloracles,sometimesdeclaringthatariverwasthetypeofbodilyhealth,sometimesextollingitasthegreatmoralpreacher,continuallypreachingpeace,continuity,anddiligencetoman’stormentedspirits。Afterhehadwatchedamileorsooftheclearwaterrunningbybeforehiseyes,seenafishortwocometothesurfacewithagleamofsilver,andsufficientlyadmiredthelongshadowsofthetreesfallinghalfacrosstheriverfromtheoppositebank,withpatchesofmovingsunlightinbetween,hestrolledoncemoreupthegardenandthroughhishouseintothestreet,feelingcoolandrenovated。
  Thesoundofhisfeetuponthecausewaybeganthebusinessoftheday。forthevillagewasstillsoundasleep。Thechurchtowerlookedveryairyinthesunlight。afewbirdsthatturnedaboutit,seemedtoswiminanatmosphereofmorethanusualrarity。andtheDoctor,walkinginlongtransparentshadows,filledhislungsamply,andproclaimedhimselfwellcontentedwiththemorning。
  OnoneofthepostsbeforeTentaillon’scarriageentryheespiedalittledarkfigureperchedinameditativeattitude,andimmediatelyrecognisedJean-Marie。
  ’Aha!’hesaid,stoppingbeforehimhumorously,withahandoneitherknee。’Soweriseearlyinthemorning,dowe?Itappearstomethatwehaveallthevicesofaphilosopher。’
  Theboygottohisfeetandmadeagravesalutation。
  ’Andhowisourpatient?’askedDesprez。
  Itappearedthepatientwasaboutthesame。
  ’Andwhydoyouriseearlyinthemorning?’hepursued。
  Jean-Marie,afteralongsilence,professedthathehardlyknew。
  ’Youhardlyknow?’repeatedDesprez。’Wehardlyknowanything,myman,untilwetrytolearn。Interrogateyourconsciousness。Come,pushmethisinquiryhome。Doyoulikeit?’
  ’Yes,’saidtheboyslowly。’yes,Ilikeit。’
  ’Andwhydoyoulikeit?’continuedtheDoctor。’WearenowpursuingtheSocraticmethod。Whydoyoulikeit?’
  ’Itisquiet,’answeredJean-Marie。’andIhavenothingtodo。andthenIfeelasifIweregood。’
  DoctorDespreztookaseatonthepostattheoppositeside。Hewasbeginningtotakeaninterestinthetalk,fortheboyplainlythoughtbeforehespoke,andtriedtoanswertruly。’Itappearsyouhaveatasteforfeelinggood,’saidtheDoctor。’Now,thereyoupuzzlemeextremely。forIthoughtyousaidyouwereathief。
  andthetwoareincompatible。’
  ’Isitverybadtosteal?’askedJean-Marie。
  ’Suchisthegeneralopinion,littleboy,’repliedtheDoctor。
  ’No。butImeanasIstole,’explainedtheother。’ForIhadnochoice。Ithinkitissurelyrighttohavebread。itmustberighttohavebread,therecomessoplainawantofit。AndthentheybeatmecruellyifIreturnedwithnothing,’headded。’Iwasnotignorantofrightandwrong。forbeforethatIhadbeenwelltaughtbyapriest,whowasverykindtome。’TheDoctormadeahorriblegrimaceattheword’priest。’’Butitseemedtome,whenonehadnothingtoeatandwasbeaten,itwasadifferentaffair。Iwouldnothavestolenfortartlets,Ibelieve。butanyonewouldstealforbaker’sbread。’
  ’AndsoIsuppose,’saidtheDoctor,witharisingsneer,’youprayedGodtoforgiveyou,andexplainedthecasetoHimatlength。’
  ’Why,sir?’askedJean-Marie。’Idonotsee。’
  ’Yourpriestwouldsee,however,’retortedDesprez。
  ’Wouldhe?’askedtheboy,troubledforthefirsttime。’IshouldhavethoughtGodwouldhaveknown。’
  ’Eh?’snarledtheDoctor。
  ’IshouldhavethoughtGodwouldhaveunderstoodme,’repliedtheother。’Youdonot,Isee。butthenitwasGodthatmademethinkso,wasitnot?’
  ’Littleboy,littleboy,’saidDr。Desprez,’Itoldyoualreadyyouhadthevicesofphilosophy。ifyoudisplaythevirtuesalso,I
  mustgo。Iamastudentoftheblessedlawsofhealth,anobserverofplainandtemperatenatureinhercommonwalks。andIcannotpreservemyequanimityinpresenceofamonster。Doyouunderstand?’
  ’No,sir,’saidtheboy。
  ’Iwillmakemymeaningcleartoyou,’repliedthedoctor。’Lookthereatthesky-behindthebelfryfirst,whereitissolight,andthenupandup,turningyourchinback,righttothetopofthedome,whereitisalreadyasblueasatnoon。Isnotthatabeautifulcolour?Doesitnotpleasetheheart?Wehaveseenitallourlives,untilithasgrowninwithourfamiliarthoughts。
  Now,’changinghistone,’supposethatskytobecomesuddenlyofaliveandfieryamber,likethecolourofclearcoals,andgrowingscarlettowardsthetop-Idonotsayitwouldbeanythelessbeautiful。butwouldyoulikeitaswell?’
  ’Isupposenot,’answeredJean-Marie。
  ’NeitherdoIlikeyou,’returnedtheDoctor,roughly。’Ihatealloddpeople,andyouarethemostcuriouslittleboyinalltheworld。’
  Jean-Marieseemedtoponderforawhile,andthenheraisedhisheadagainandlookedoverattheDoctorwithanairofcandidinquiry。’Butarenotyouaverycuriousgentleman?’heasked。
  TheDoctorthrewawayhisstick,boundedontheboy,claspedhimtohisbosom,andkissedhimonbothcheeks。’Admirable,admirableimp!’hecried。’Whatamorning,whatanhourforatheoristofforty-two!No,’hecontinued,apostrophisingheaven,’Ididnotknowsuchboysexisted。Iwasignoranttheymadethemso。Ihaddoubtedofmyrace。andnow!Itislike,’headded,pickinguphisstick,’likealovers’meeting。Ihavebruisedmyfavouritestaffinthatmomentofenthusiasm。Theinjury,however,isnotgrave。’
  Hecaughttheboylookingathiminobviouswonder,embarrassment,andalarm。’Hullo!’saidhe,’whydoyoulookatmelikethat?
  Egad,Ibelievetheboydespisesme。Doyoudespiseme,boy?’
  ’O,no,’repliedJean-Marie,seriously。’onlyIdonotunderstand。’
  ’Youmustexcuseme,sir,’returnedtheDoctor,withgravity。’Iamstillsoyoung。O,hanghim!’headdedtohimself。Andhetookhisseatagainandobservedtheboysardonically。’Hehasspoiledthequietofmymorning,’thoughthe。’Ishallbenervousallday,andhaveafebriculewhenIdigest。Letmecomposemyself。’Andsohedismissedhispre-occupationsbyaneffortofthewillwhichhehadlongpractised,andlethissoulroamabroadinthecontemplationofthemorning。Heinhaledtheair,tastingitcriticallyasaconnoisseurtastesavintage,andprolongingtheexpirationwithhygienicgusto。Hecountedthelittleflecksofcloudalongthesky。Hefollowedthemovementsofthebirdsroundthechurchtower-makinglongsweeps,hangingpoised,orturningairysomersaultsinfancy,andbeatingthewindwithimaginarypinions。Andinthiswayheregainedpeaceofmindandanimalcomposure,consciousofhislimbs,consciousofthesightofhiseyes,consciousthattheairhadacooltaste,likeafruit,atthetopofhisthroat。andatlast,incompleteabstraction,hebegantosing。TheDoctorhadbutoneair-,’Malbroucks’enva-t-enguerre。’evenwiththathewasontermsofmerepoliteness。andhismusicalexploitswerealwaysreservedformomentswhenhewasaloneandentirelyhappy。
  Hewasrecalledtoearthrudelybyapainedexpressionontheboy’sface。’Whatdoyouthinkofmysinging?’heinquired,stoppinginthemiddleofanote。andthen,afterhehadwaitedsomelittlewhileandreceivednoanswer,’Whatdoyouthinkofmysinging?’herepeated,imperiously。
  ’Idonotlikeit,’falteredJean-Marie。
  ’Oh,come!’criedtheDoctor。’Possiblyyouareaperformeryourself?’
  ’Isingbetterthanthat,’repliedtheboy。
  TheDoctoreyedhimforsomesecondsinstupefaction。Hewasawarethathewasangry,andblushedforhimselfinconsequence,whichmadehimangrier。’Ifthisishowyouaddressyourmaster!’hesaidatlast,withashrugandaflourishofhisarms。
  ’Idonotspeaktohimatall,’returnedtheboy。’Idonotlikehim。’
  ’Thenyoulikeme?’snappedDoctorDesprez,withunusualeagerness。
  ’Idonotknow,’answeredJean-Marie。
  TheDoctorrose。’Ishallwishyouagoodmorning,’hesaid。’Youaretoomuchforme。Perhapsyouhavebloodinyourveins,perhapscelestialichor,orperhapsyoucirculatenothingmoregrossthanrespirableair。butofonethingIaminexpugnablyassured:-thatyouarenohumanbeing。No,boy’-shakinghisstickathim-’youarenotahumanbeing。Write,writeitinyourmemory-Iamnotahumanbeing-Ihavenopretensiontobeahumanbeing-Iamadive,adream,anangel,anacrostic,anillusion-whatyouplease,butnotahumanbeing。Andsoacceptmyhumblesalutationsandfarewell!’
  AndwiththattheDoctormadeoffalongthestreetinsomeemotion,andtheboystood,mentallygaping,wherehelefthim。
  CHAPTERIII。THEADOPTION。
  MADAMEDESPREZ,whoansweredtotheChristiannameofAnastasie,presentedanagreeabletypeofhersex。exceedinglywholesometolookupon,astoutBRUNE,withcoolsmoothcheeks,steady,darkeyes,andhandsthatneitherartnornaturecouldimprove。Shewasthesortofpersonoverwhomadversitypasseslikeasummercloud。
  shemight,intheworstofconjunctions,knitherbrowsintooneverticalfurrowforamoment,butthenextitwouldbegone。Shehadmuchoftheplacidityofacontentednun。withlittleofherpiety,however。forAnastasiewasofaverymundanenature,fondofoystersandoldwine,andsomewhatboldpleasantries,anddevotedtoherhusbandforherownsakeratherthanforhis。Shewasimperturbablygood-natured,buthadnoideaofself-sacrifice。Toliveinthatpleasantoldhouse,withagreengardenbehindandbrightflowersaboutthewindow,toeatanddrinkofthebest,togossipwithaneighbourforaquarterofanhour,nevertowearstaysoradressexceptwhenshewenttoFontainebleaushopping,tobekeptinacontinualsupplyofracynovels,andtobemarriedtoDoctorDesprezandhavenogroundofjealousy,filledthecupofhernaturetothebrim。ThosewhohadknowntheDoctorinbachelordays,whenhehadairedquiteasmanytheories,butofadifferentorder,attributedhispresentphilosophytothestudyofAnastasie。
  Itwasherbruteenjoymentthatherationalisedandperhapsvainlyimitated。
  MadameDesprezwasanartistinthekitchen,andmadecoffeetoanicety。Shehadaknackoftidiness,withwhichshehadinfectedtheDoctor。everythingwasinitsplace。everythingcapableofpolishshonegloriously。anddustwasathingbanishedfromherempire。Aline,theirsingleservant,hadnootherbusinessintheworldbuttoscourandburnish。SoDoctorDesprezlivedinhishouselikeafattedcalf,warmedandcossetedtohisheart’scontent。
  Themiddaymealwasexcellent。Therewasaripemelon,afishfromtheriverinamemorableBearnaisesauce,afatfowlinafricassee,andadishofasparagus,followedbysomefruit。TheDoctordrankhalfabottlePLUSoneglass,thewifehalfabottleMINUSthesamequantity,whichwasamaritalprivilege,ofanexcellentCote-Rotie,sevenyearsold。Thenthecoffeewasbrought,andaflaskofChartreuseformadame,fortheDoctordespisedanddistrustedsuchdecoctions。andthenAlinelefttheweddedpairtothepleasuresofmemoryanddigestion。
  ’Itisaveryfortunatecircumstance,mycherishedone,’observedtheDoctor-’thiscoffeeisadorable-averyfortunatecircumstanceuponthewhole-Anastasie,Ibeseechyou,gowithoutthatpoisonforto-day。onlyoneday,andyouwillfeelthebenefit,Ipledgemyreputation。’
  ’Whatisthisfortunatecircumstance,myfriend?’inquiredAnastasie,notheedinghisprotest,whichwasofdailyrecurrence。
  ’Thatwehavenochildren,mybeautiful,’repliedtheDoctor。’I
  thinkofitmoreandmoreastheyearsgoon,andwithmoreandmoregratitudetowardsthePowerthatdispensessuchafflictions。
  Yourhealth,mydarling,mystudiousquiet,ourlittlekitchendelicacies,howtheywouldallhavesuffered,howtheywouldallhavebeensacrificed!Andforwhat?Childrenarethelastwordofhumanimperfection。Healthfleesbeforetheirface。Theycry,mydear。theyputvexatiousquestions。theydemandtobefed,tobewashed,tobeeducated,tohavetheirnosesblown。andthen,whenthetimecomes,theybreakourhearts,asIbreakthispieceofsugar。Apairofprofessedegoists,likeyouandme,shouldavoidoffspring,likeaninfidelity。’
  ’Indeed!’saidshe。andshelaughed。’Now,thatislikeyou-totakecreditforthethingyoucouldnothelp。’
  ’Mydear,’returnedtheDoctor,solemnly,’wemighthaveadopted。’
  ’Never!’criedmadame。’Never,Doctor,withmyconsent。Ifthechildweremyownfleshandblood,Iwouldnotsayno。Buttotakeanotherperson’sindiscretiononmyshoulders,mydearfriend,I
  havetoomuchsense。’
  ’Precisely,’repliedtheDoctor。’Webothhad。AndIamallthebetterpleasedwithourwisdom,because-because-’Helookedathersharply。
  ’Becausewhat?’sheasked,withafaintpremonitionofdanger。
  ’BecauseIhavefoundtherightperson,’saidtheDoctorfirmly,’andshalladopthimthisafternoon。’
  Anastasielookedathimoutofamist。’Youhavelostyourreason,’shesaid。andtherewasaclanginhervoicethatseemedtothreatentrouble。
  ’Notso,mydear,’hereplied。’Iretainitscompleteexercise。Totheproof:insteadofattemptingtocloakmyinconsistency,Ihave,bywayofpreparingyou,thrownitintostrongrelief。Youwillthere,Ithink,recognisethephilosopherwhohastheecstasytocallyouwife。Thefactis,Ihavebeenreckoningallthiswhilewithoutanaccident。Ineverthoughttofindasonofmyown。
  Now,lastnight,Ifoundone。Donotunnecessarilyalarmyourself,mydear。heisnotadropofbloodtomethatIknow。Itishismind,darling,hismindthatcallsmefather。’
  ’Hismind!’sherepeatedwithatitterbetweenscornandhysterics。
  ’Hismind,indeed!Henri,isthisanidioticpleasantry,orareyoumad?Hismind!Andwhatofmymind?’
  ’Truly,’repliedtheDoctorwithashrug,’youhaveyourfingeronthehitch。HewillbestrikinglyantipathetictomyeverbeautifulAnastasie。Shewillneverunderstandhim。hewillneverunderstandher。Youmarriedtheanimalsideofmynature,dearanditisonthespiritualsidethatIfindmyaffinityforJean-Marie。Somuchso,that,tobeperfectlyfrank,Istandinsomeaweofhimmyself。
  YouwilleasilyperceivethatIamannouncingacalamityforyou。
  Donot,’hebrokeoutintonesofrealsolicitude-’donotgivewaytotearsafterameal,Anastasie。Youwillcertainlygiveyourselfafalsedigestion。’
  Anastasiecontrolledherself。’YouknowhowwillingIamtohumouryou,’shesaid,’inallreasonablematters。Butonthispoint-’
  ’Mydearlove,’interruptedtheDoctor,eagertopreventarefusal,’whowishedtoleaveParis?Whomademegiveupcards,andtheopera,andtheboulevard,andmysocialrelations,andallthatwasmylifebeforeIknewyou?HaveIbeenfaithful?HaveIbeenobedient?HaveInotbornemydoomwithcheerfulness?Inallhonesty,Anastasie,haveInotarighttoastipulationonmyside?
  Ihave,andyouknowit。Istipulatemyson。’
  Anastasiewasawareofdefeat。shestruckhercoloursinstantly。