OneofthechiefcharactersisJeanlePrecurseur，whothreatenswoetoHerodandhisrace，andisbeheadedbyordersofthatsovereign。
IntheFestindeBalthazar，wearesimilarlyintroducedtoDaniel，andthefirstsceneislaidbythewatersofBabylon，whereacertainnumberofcaptiveJewsareseatedinmelancholypostures。aBabylonianofficerenters，exclaiming，ChanteznousquelqueschansonsdeJerusalem，andtherequestisrefusedinthelanguageofthePsalm。Belshazzar’sFeastisgiveninagrandtableau，afterMartin’spicture。Thatpainter，inlikemanner，furnishedscenesfortheDeluge。Vastnumbersofschoolboysandchildrenarebroughttoseethesepieces。thelowerclassesdelightinthem。
ThefamousJuifErrant，atthetheatreofthePorteSt。Martin，wasthefirstofthekind，anditsprodigioussuccess，nodoubt，occasionedthenumberofimitationswhichtheothertheatreshaveproduced。
Thetasteofsuchexhibitions，ofcourse，everyEnglishpersonwillquestion。butwemustrememberthemannersofthepeopleamongwhomtheyarepopular。and，ifImaybeallowedtohazardsuchanopinion，thereisineveryoneoftheseBoulevardmysteries，akindofrudemoral。TheBoulevardwritersdon’tpretendtotabernacles
anddivinegifts，likeMadameSandandDumasbeforementioned。Iftheytakeastoryfromthesacredbooks，theygarbleitwithoutmercy，andtakesadlibertieswiththetext。buttheydonotdealindescriptionsoftheagreeablywicked，oraskpityandadmirationfortender-heartedcriminalsandphilanthropicmurderers，astheirbettersdo。ViceisviceontheBoulevard。anditisfinetoheartheaudience，asatyrantkingroarsoutcruelsentencesofdeath，orabereavedmotherpleadsforthelifeofherchild，makingtheirremarksonthecircumstancesofthescene。Ah，legredin！growlsanindignantcountryman。Quelmonstre！saysagrisette，inafury。Youseeveryfatoldmencryinglikebabies，and，likebabies，suckingenormoussticksofbarley-sugar。Actorsandaudienceenterwarmlyintotheillusionofthepiece。andsoespeciallyaretheformeraffected，thatatFranconi’s，wherethebattlesoftheEmpirearerepresented，thereisasregulargradationintheranksofthemimicarmyasintherealimperiallegions。Afteramanhasserved，withcredit，foracertainnumberofyearsintheline，heispromotedtobeanofficer——anactingofficer。Ifheconductshimselfwell，hemayrisetobeaColoneloraGeneralofDivision。
ifill，heisdegradedtotheranksagain。or，worstdegradationofall，draftedintoaregimentofCossacksorAustrians。Cossacksisthelowestdepth，however。nay，itissaidthatthemenwhoperformtheseCossackpartsreceivehigherwagesthanthemimicgrenadiersandoldguard。Theywillnotconsenttobebeateneverynight，eveninplay。tobepursuedinhundreds，byahandfulofFrench。tofightagainsttheirbelovedEmperor。Surelythereisfineheartyvirtueinthis，andpleasantchild-likesimplicity。
SothatwhilethedramaofVictorHugo，Dumas，andtheenlightenedclasses，isprofoundlyimmoralandabsurd，theDRAMAofthecommonpeopleisabsurd，ifyouwill，butgoodandright-hearted。Ihavemadenotesofoneortwoofthesepieces，whichallhavegoodfeelingandkindnessinthem，andwhichturn，asthereaderwillsee，upononeortwofavoritepointsofpopularmorality。AdramathatobtainedavastsuccessatthePorteSaintMartinwasLaDuchessedelaVauballiere。TheDuchessisthedaughterofapoorfarmer，whowascarriedoffinthefirstplace，andthenmarriedbyM。leDucdelaVauballiere，aterribleroue，thefarmer’slandlord，andtheintimatefriendofPhilipped’Orleans，theRegentofFrance。
NowtheDuke，inrunningawaywiththelady，intendedtodispensealtogetherwithceremony，andmakeofJulieanythingbuthiswife。
butGeorges，herfather，andoneMorisseau，anotary，discoveredhiminhisdastardlyact，andpursuedhimtotheveryfeetoftheRegent，whocompelledthepairtomarryandmakeitup。
Juliecomplies。butthoughshebecomesaDuchess，herheartremainsfaithfultoheroldflame，Adrian，thedoctor。andshedeclaresthat，beyondtheceremony，nosortofintimacyshalltakeplacebetweenherhusbandandherself。
ThentheDukebeginstotreatherinthemostungentleman-likemanner：heabusesherineverypossibleway。heintroducesimpropercharactersintoherhouse。and，finally，becomessodisgustedwithher，thathedeterminestomakeawaywithheraltogether。
Forthispurpose，hesendsforthintothehighwaysandseizesadoctor，biddinghim，onpainofdeath，towriteapoisonousprescriptionforMadamelaDuchesse。Sheswallowsthepotion。andOhorror！thedoctorturnsouttobeDr。Adrian。whosewoemaybeimagined，uponfindingthathehasbeenthuscommittingmurderonhistruelove！
Letnotthereader，however，bealarmedastothefateoftheheroine。noheroineofatragedyeveryetdiedinthethirdact。
and，accordingly，theDuchessgetsupperfectlywellagaininthefourth，throughtheinstrumentalityofMorisseau，thegoodlawyer。
Andnowitisthatvicebeginstobereallypunished。TheDuke，who，afterkillinghiswife，thinksitnecessarytoretreat，andtakerefugeinSpain，istrackedtothebordersofthatcountrybythevirtuousnotary，andtherereceivessuchalessonashewillneverforgettohisdyingday。
Morisseau，inthefirstinstance，producesadeedsignedbyhisHolinessthePope，whichannulsthemarriageoftheDukedelaVauballiere。thenanotherdeed，bywhichitisprovedthathewasnottheeldestsonofoldLaVauballiere，theformerDuke。thenanotherdeed，bywhichheshowsthatoldLaVauballierewhoseemstohavebeenadisreputableoldfellowwasabigamist，andthat，inconsequence，thepresentman，stylinghimselfDuke，isillegitimate。andfinally，Morisseaubringsforwardanotherdocument，whichprovesthattheREG’LARDukeisnootherthanAdrian，thedoctor！
Thusitisthatlove，law，andphysiccombined，triumphoverthehorridmachinationsofthisstar-and-garteredlibertine。
Hermannl’Ivrogneisanotherpieceofthesameorder。andthoughnotveryrefined，yetpossessesconsiderablemerit。AsinthecaseofthecelebratedCaptainSmithofHalifax，whotooktodrinkingratafia，andthoughtofpoorMissBailey，——awomanandthebottlehavebeenthecauseofHermann’sruin。Desertedbyhismistress，whohasbeenseducedfromhimbyabaseItalianCount，Hermann，aGermanartist，giveshimselfentirelyuptoliquorandrevenge：butwhenhefindsthatforce，andnotinfidelity，havebeenthecauseofhismistress’sruin，thereadercanfancytheindignantferocitywithwhichhepursuestheinfameravisseur。Ascene，whichisreallyfullofspirit，andexcellentlywellacted，hereensues！
HermannproposestotheCount，ontheeveoftheirduel，thatthesurvivorshouldbindhimselftoespousetheunhappyMarie。buttheCountdeclareshimselftobealreadymarried，andthestudent，findingaduelimpossibleforhisobjectwastorestore，atallevents，thehonorofMarie，nowonlythinksofhisrevenge，andmurderstheCount。Presently，twopartiesofmenenterHermann’sapartment：oneisacompanyofstudents，whobringhimthenewsthathehasobtainedtheprizeofpainting。theotherthepolicemen，whocarryhimtoprison，tosufferthepenaltyofmurder。
Icouldmentionmanymoreplaysinwhichthepopularmoralityissimiliarlyexpressed。Theseducer，orrascalofthepiece，isalwaysanaristocrat，——awickedcount，orlicentiousmarquis，whoisbroughttocondignpunishmentjustbeforethefallofthecurtain。AndtoogoodreasonhavetheFrenchpeoplehadtolaysuchcrimestothechargeofthearistocracy，whoareexpiatingnow，onthestage，thewrongswhichtheydidahundredyearssince。
Thearistocracyisdeadnow。butthetheatrelivesupontraditions：
anddon’tletusbetooscornfulatsuchsimplelegendsasarehandeddownbythepeoplefromracetorace。Vulgarprejudiceagainstthegreatitmaybe。butprejudiceagainstthegreatisonlyarudeexpressionofsympathywiththepoor。long，therefore，mayfatepiciersblubberovermimicwoes，andhonestproletairesshaketheirfists，shouting——Gredin，scelerat，monstredemarquis！andsuchrepublicancries。
Remark，too，anotherdevelopmentofthissamepopularfeelingofdislikeagainstmeninpower。Whatanumberofplaysandlegendshavewethewriterhassubmittedtothepublic，inthepreeedingpages，acoupleofspecimens。oneofFrench，andtheotherofPolishorigin，inwhichthatgreatandpowerfularistocrat，theDevil，ismadetobemiserablytricked，humiliated，anddisappointed？Aplayofthisclass，which，inthemidstofallitsabsurditiesandclaptraps，hadmuchofgoodinit，wascalledLeMauditdesMers。LeMauditisaDutchcaptain，who，inthemidstofastorm，whilehiscrewwereontheirkneesatprayers，blasphemedanddrankpunch。butwhatwashisastonishmentatbeholdinganarchangelwithaswordallcoveredwithflamingresin，whotoldhimthatashe，inthishourofdanger，wastoodaring，ortoowicked，toutteraprayer，henevershouldceaseroamingtheseasuntilhecouldfindsomebeingwhowouldpraytoheavenforhim！
Onceonly，inahundredyears，wastheskipperallowedtolandforthispurpose。andthispiecerunsthroughfourcenturies，inasmanyacts，describingtheagoniesandunavailingattemptsofthemiserableDutchman。Willingtogoanylengthsinordertoobtainhisprayer，he，inthesecondact，betraysaVirginoftheSuntoafollowerofPizarro：and，inthethird，assassinatestheheroicWilliamofNassau。buteverbeforethedroppingofthecurtain，theangelandswordmaketheirappearance——Treachery，saysthespirit，cannotlessenthypunishment——crimewillnotobtainthyrelease——Alamer！alamer！andthepoordevilreturnstotheocean，tobelonely，andtempest-tossed，andsea-sickforahundredyearsmore。
Buthiswoesaredestinedtoendwiththefourthact。HavinglandedinAmerica，wherethepeasantsonthesea-shore，alldressedinItaliancostumes，arecelebrating，inaquadrille，thevictoriesofWashington，heisthereluckyenoughtofindayounggirltoprayforhim。Thenthecurseisremoved，thepunishmentisover，andacelestialvessel，withangelsonthedecksandsweetlittlecherubsflutteringabouttheshroudsandthepoop，appeartoreceivehim。
ThispiecewasactedatFranconi’s，where，foronce，anangel-shipwasintroducedinplaceoftheusualhorsemanship。
Onemustnotforgettomentionhere，howtheEnglishnationissatirizedbyourneighbors。whohavesomedrolltraditionsregardingus。InoneofthelittleChristmaspiecesproducedatthePalaisRoyalsatiresuponthefolliesofthepasttwelvemonths，onwhichallthesmalltheatresexhausttheirwit，thecelebratedflightofMessrs。GreenandMonckMasonwasparodied，andcreatedagooddealoflaughterattheexpenseofJohnBull。
TwoEnglishnoblemen，MilorCricriandMilorHanneton，appearasdescendingfromaballoon，andoneofthemcommunicatestothepublicthephilosophicobservationswhichweremadeinthecourseofhisaerialtour。
OnleavingVauxhall，sayshislordship，wedrankabottleofMadeira，asahealthtothefriendsfromwhomweparted，andcrunchedafewbiscuitstosupportnatureduringthehoursbeforelunch。IntwohourswearrivedatCanterbury，envelopedinclouds：
lunch，bottledporter：atDover，carriedseveralmilesinatideofair，bittercold，cherry-brandy。crossedovertheChannelsafely，andthoughtwithpityofthepoorpeoplewhoweresickeninginthesteamboatsbelow：morebottledporter：overCalais，dinner，roast-
beefofOldEngland。nearDunkirk，——nightfalling，lunarrainbow，brandy-and-water。nightconfoundedlythick。supper，nightcapofrum-punch，andsotobed。Thesunbrokebeautifullythroughthemorningmist，asweboiledthekettleandtookourbreakfastoverCologne。Inafewmorehoursweconcludedthismemorablevoyage，andlandedsafelyatWeilburg，ingoodtimefordinner。
Thejokehereissmartenough。butourhonestneighborsmakemanybetter，whentheyarequiteunconsciousofthefun。Letusleaveplays，foramoment，forpoetry，andtakeaninstanceofFrenchcriticism，concerningEngland，fromtheworksofafamousFrenchexquisiteandmanofletters。Theheroofthepoemaddresseshismistress——
Londres，tulesaistrop，enfaitdecapitale，Est-cequefitlecieldeplusfroidetpluspale，C’estlavilledugaz，desmarins，dubrouillard。
Ons’ycoucheaminuit，etl’ons’ylevetard。
Sesraoutstantvantesnesontqu’uneboxade，Sursesgrandsquaisjamaisechelleouserenade，MaisdevolumineuxbourgeoisprisdeporterQuipassentsansleverlefrontaWestminster。
Etn’etaitsaforetdematspercantlabrume，Satourdontaminuitlevieiloeils’allume，Ettesdeuxyeux，Zerline，illuminesbienplus，Jediraisque，mafoi，desromansquej’ailus，Iln’enestpasunseul，pluslourd，pluslethargiqueQuecettenationqu’onnommeBritannique！
Thewriteroftheabovelineswhichletanymanwhocantranslate
isMonsieurRogerdeBeauvoir，agentlemanwhoactuallylivedmanymonthsinEngland，asanattachetotheembassyofM。dePolignac。
HeplacestheheroineofhistaleinapetitreduitpresleStrand，withagreenandfreshjalousie，andalargeblind，letdownallday。youfanciedyouwereenteringabathofAsia，assoonasyouhadpassedtheperfumedthresholdofthischarmingretreat！Henextplacesher——
Dansunsquareecarte，morneetcouvertedegivre，Ousecacheunhotel，auxvieuxlionsdecuivre。
andtheheroofthetale，ayoungFrenchpoet，whoisinLondon，istrulyunhappyinthatvillage。
Arthurdessecheetmeurt。DanslavilledeSterne，Rienqu’envoyantlepeupleilalemaldemerIln’aimenileParc，gaicommeuneciterne，Niletiraupigeon，nilesoda-water。
Listonnelefaitplussourciller！IlrumineSurlestrottoirsduStrand，droitcommeunechiquier，Contrelepeupleanglais，lesnegres，lavermine，Etlesmillecokneysdupeupleboutiquier，Contretouslesbas-bleus，contrelespatissieres，Lesparieursd’Epsom，legin，leparlement，Laquaterly，leroi，lapluieetleslibraires，Dontilnetoucheplus，helas！unsoud’argent！
Etchaquegentlemanluidit：L’heureuxpoete！
L’heureuxpoeteindeed！IquestionifapoetinthiswideworldissohappyasM。deBeauvoir，orhasmadesuchwonderfuldiscoveries。ThebathofAsia，withgreenjalousies，inwhichtheladydwells。theoldhotel，withcopperlions，inalonelysquare——wereeversuchthingsheardof，orimagined，butbyaFrenchman？Thesailors，thenegroes，thevermin，whomhemeetsinthestreet，——howgreatandhappyareallthesediscoveries！Listonnolongermakesthehappypoetfrown。andgin，cokneys，andthequaterlyhavenottheleasteffectuponhim！Andthisgentlemanhaslivedmanymonthsamongstus。admiresWilliamsShakspear，thegraveetvieuxprophete，ashecallshim，andnever，foraninstant，doubtsthathisdescriptioncontainsanythingabsurd！
Idon’tknowwhetherthegreatDumashaspassedanytimeinEngland。buthisplaysshowasimilarintimateknowledgeofourhabits。ThusinKean，thestage-managerismadetocomeforwardandaddressthepit，withaspeechbeginning，MyLordsandGentlemen。andacompanyofEnglishwomenareintroducedatthememorableCoalhole，andtheyallwearPINAFORES。asiftheBritishfemalewereintheinvariablehabitofwearingthisoutergarment，orslobberinghergownwithoutit。Therewasanothercelebratedpiece，enactedsomeyearssince，uponthesubjectofQueenCaroline，whereourlateadoredsovereign，George，wasmadetoplayamostdespicablepart。andwhereSignorBergamifoughtaduelwithLordLondonderry。Inthelastactofthisplay，theHouseofLordswasrepresented，andSirBroughammadeaneloquentspeechintheQueen’sfavor。Presentlytheshoutsofthemobwereheardwithout。fromshoutingtheyproceededtopelting。andpasteboard-brickbatsandcabbagescameflyingamongtherepresentativesofourhereditarylegislature。Atthisunpleasantjuncture，SIRHARDINGE，theSecretary-at-War，risesandcallsinthemilitary。theactendsinageneralrow，andtheignominiousfallofLordLiverpool，laidlowbyabrickbatfromthemob！
Thedescriptionofthesescenesis，ofcourse，quiteincapableofconveyinganynotionoftheirgeneraleffect。Youmusthavethesolemnityoftheactors，astheyMeessandMiloroneanother，andtheperfectgravityandgoodfaithwithwhichtheaudiencelistentothem。OurstageFrenchmanistheoldMarquis，withsword，andpigtail，andspangledcourtcoat。TheEnglishmanoftheFrenchtheatrehas，invariably，aredwig，andalmostalwaysleathergaiters，andalongwhiteupperBenjamin：heremainsashewasrepresentedintheoldcaricaturesafterthepeace，whenVernetdesignedhim。
Andtoconcludethiscatalogueofblunders：inthefamouspieceoftheNaufragedelaMeduse，thefirstactislaidonboardanEnglishship-of-war，alltheofficersofwhichappearedinlightblueorgreencoatsthelamp-lightpreventedourdistinguishingthecoloraccurately，andTOP-BOOTS！
Letusnotattempttodeadentheforceofthistremendousblowbyanymoreremarks。Theforceofblunderingcangonofurther。
WouldaChineseplaywrightorpainterhavestrangernotionsaboutthebarbariansthanourneighbors，whoareseparatedfromusbutbytwohoursofsaltwater？
MEDITATIONSATVERSAILLES。
ThepalaceofVersailleshasbeenturnedintoabricabracshopoflateyears，anditstime-honoredwallshavebeencoveredwithmanythousandyardsoftheworstpicturesthateyeeverlookedon。I
don’tknowhowmanyleaguesofbattlesandsiegestheunhappyvisitorisnowobligedtomarchthrough，amidstacrowdofchatteringPariscockneys，whoarenevertiredoflookingatthegloriesoftheGrenadierFrancais。tothechroniclingofwhosedeedsthisoldpalaceoftheoldkingsisnowaltogetherdevoted。
Awhizzing，screamingsteam-enginerusheshitherfromParis，bringingshoalsofbadaudsinitswake。Theoldcoucousareallgone，andtheirplaceknowsthemnolonger。Smoothasphaltumterraces，tawdrylamps，andgreathideousEgyptianobelisks，havefrightenedthemawayfromthepleasantstationtheyusedtooccupyunderthetreesoftheChampsElysees。andthoughtheoldcoucouswerejustthemostuncomfortablevehiclesthathumaningenuityeverconstructed，onecan’thelplookingbacktothedaysoftheirexistencewithatenderregret。fortherewaspleasuretheninthelittletripofthreeleagues：andwhoeverhadpleasureinarailwayjourney？Doesanyreaderofthisventuretosaythat，onsuchavoyage，heeverdaredtobepleasant？Dothemosthardenedstokersjokewithoneanother？Idon’tbelieveit。Lookintoeverysinglecarofthetrain，andyouwillseethateverysinglefaceissolemn。Theytaketheirseatsgravely，andaresilent，forthemostpart，duringthejourney。theydarenotlookoutofwindow，forfearofbeingblindedbythesmokethatcomeswhizzingby，oroflosingtheirheadsinoneofthewindowsofthedowntrain。theyrideformilesinutterdampanddarkness：throughawfulpipesofbrick，thathavebeenrunpitilesslythroughthebowelsofgentlemotherearth，thecast-ironFrankensteinofanenginegallopson，puffingandscreaming。DoesanymanpretendtosaythatheENJOYSthejourney？——hemightaswellsaythatheenjoyedhavinghishaircut。hebearsit，butthatisall：hewillnotallowtheworldtolaughathim，foranyexhibitionofslavishfear。andpretends，therefore，tobeathisease。butheISafraid：
nay，oughttobe，underthecircumstances。IamsureHannibalorNapoleonwould，weretheylockedsuddenlyintoacar。therekeptcloseprisonersforacertainnumberofhours，andwhirledalongatthisdizzypace。Youcan’tstop，ifyouwould：——youmaydie，butyoucan’tstop。theenginemayexplodeupontheroad，andupyougoalongwithit。or，maybeabolterandtakeafancytogodownahill，orintoariver：allthisyoumustbear，fortheprivilegeoftravellingtwentymilesanhour。
Thislittlejourney，then，fromParistoVersailles，thatusedtobesomerryofold，haslostitspleasuressincethedisappearanceofthecoucous。andIwouldasliefhaveforcompanionsthestatuesthatlatelytookacoachfromthebridgeoppositetheChamberofDeputies，andsteppedoutinthecourtofVersailles，asthemostpartofthepeoplewhonowtravelontherailroad。Thestonefiguresarenotawhitmorecoldandsilentthanthesepersons，whousedtobe，intheoldcoucous，sotalkativeandmerry。TheprattlinggrisetteandherswainfromtheEcoledeDroit。thehugeAlsaciancarabineer，grimlysmilingunderhissandymoustachesandglitteringbrasshelmet。thejollynurse，inredcalico，whohadbeentoParistoshowmammaherdarlingLolo，orAuguste——whatmerrycompanionsusedonetofindsqueezedintothecrazyoldvehiclesthatformerlyperformedthejourney！Buttheageofhorsefleshisgone——thatofengineers，economists，andcalculatorshassucceeded。andthepleasureofcoucoudomisextinguishedforever。Whynotmournoverit，asMr。Burkedidoverhischeapdefenceofnationsandunboughtgraceoflife。thatageofchivalry，whichhelamented，aproposofatriptoVersailles，somehalfacenturyback？
Withoutstoppingtodiscussasmightbedone，inratheraneatandsuccessfulmannerwhethertheageofchivalrywascheapordear，andwhether，inthetimeoftheunboughtgraceoflife，therewasnotmorebribery，robbery，villainy，tyranny，andcorruption，thanexistseveninourownhappydays，——letusmakeafewmoralandhistoricalremarksuponthetownofVersailles。where，betweenrailroadandcoucou，wearesurelyarrivedbythistime。
Thetownis，certainly，themostmoraloftowns。Youpassfromtherailroadstationthroughalong，lonelysuburb，withdustyrowsofstuntedtreesoneitherside，andsomefewmiserablebeggars，idleboys，andraggedoldwomenunderthem。Behindthetreesaregaunt，mouldyhouses。palacesonce，whereinthedaysoftheunboughtgraceoflifethecheapdefenceofnationsgambled，ogled，swindled，intrigued。whencehigh-bornduchessesusedtoissue，inoldtimes，toactaschambermaidstolovelyDuBarri。andmightyprincesrolledaway，ingiltcaroches，hotforthehonoroflightinghisMajestytobed，orofpresentinghisstockingswhenherose，orofholdinghisnapkinwhenhedined。Tailors，chandlers，tinmen，wretchedhucksters，andgreengrocers，arenowestablishedinthemansionsoftheoldpeers。smallchildrenareyellingatthedoors，withmouthsbesmearedwithbreadandtreacle。dampragsarehangingoutofeveryoneofthewindows，steaminginthesun。
oyster-shells，cabbage-stalks，brokencrockery，oldpapers，liebaskinginthesamecheerfullight。Asolitarywater-cartgoesjinglingdownthewidepavement，andspirtsafeeblerefreshmentoverthedusty，thirstystones。
Afterpacingforsometimethroughsuchdismalstreets，wedeboucheronthegrandeplace。andbeforeusliesthepalacededicatedtoallthegloriesofFrance。InthemidstofthegreatlonelyplainthisfamousresidenceofKingLouislookslowandmean——Honoredpile！Timewaswhentallmusketeersandgildedbody-guardsallowednonetopassthegate。Fiftyyearsago，tenthousanddrunkenwomenfromParisbrokethroughthecharm。andnowatatteredcommissionerwillconductyouthroughitforapenny，andleadyouuptothesacredentranceofthepalace。
WewillnotexamineallthegloriesofFrance，asheretheyareportrayedinpicturesandmarble：cataloguesarewrittenaboutthesemilesofcanvas，representingalltherevolutionarybattles，fromValmytoWaterloo，——allthetriumphsofLouisXIV——allthemistressesofhissuccessor——andallthegreatmenwhohaveflourishedsincetheFrenchempirebegan。Militaryheroesaremostofthese——fierceconstablesinshiningsteel，marshalsinvoluminouswigs，andbravegrenadiersinbearskincaps。somedozensofwhomgainedcrowns，principalities，dukedoms。somehundreds，plunderandepaulets。somemillions，deathinAfricansands，orinicyRussianplains，undertheguidance，andforthegood，ofthatarch-hero，Napoleon。Byfarthegreaterpartofalltheglories
ofFranceasofmostothercountriesismadeupofthesemilitarymen：andafinesatireitisonthecowardiceofmankind，thattheypaysuchanextraordinaryhomagetothevirtuecalledcourage。
fillingtheirhistory-bookswithtalesaboutit，andnothingbutit。
Letthemdisguisetheplace，however，astheywill，andplasterthewallswithbadpicturesastheyplease，itwillbehardtothinkofanyfamilybutone，asonetraversesthisvastgloomyedifice。Ithasnotbeenhumbledtotheground，asacertainpalaceofBabelwasofyore。butitisamonumentoffallenpride，notlessawful，andwouldaffordmatterforawholelibraryofsermons。Thecheapdefenceofnationsexpendedathousandmillionsintheerectionofthismagnificentdwelling-place。Armieswereemployed，intheintervalsoftheirwarlikelabors，tolevelhills，orpilethemup。
toturnrivers，andtobuildaqueducts，andtransplantwoods，andconstructsmoothterraces，andlongcanals。Avastgardengrewupinawilderness，andastupendouspalaceinthegarden，andastatelycityroundthepalace：thecitywaspeopledwithparasites，whodailycametodoworshipbeforethecreatorofthesewonders——
theGreatKing。Dieuseulestgrand，saidcourtlyMassillon。butnexttohim，astheprelatethought，wascertainlyLouis，hisvicegerenthereuponearth——God’slieutenant-governoroftheworld，——beforewhomcourtiersusedtofallontheirknees，andshadetheireyes，asifthelightofhiscountenance，likethesun，whichshonesupremeinheaven，thetypeofhim，wastoodazzlingtobear。
Dideverthesunshineuponsuchakingbefore，insuchapalace？——
or，rather，didsuchakingevershineuponthesun？WhenMajestycameoutofhischamber，inthemidstofhissuperhumansplendors，viz，inhiscinnamon-coloredcoat，embroideredwithdiamonds。hispyramidofawig，*hisred-heeledshoes，thatliftedhimfourinchesfromtheground，thathescarcelyseemedtotouch。whenhecameout，blazinguponthedukesandduchessesthatwaitedhisrising，——
whatcouldthelatterdo，butcovertheireyes，andwink，andtremble？Anddidhenothimselfbelieve，ashestoodthere，onhishighheels，underhisambrosialperiwig，thattherewassomethinginhimmorethanman——somethingaboveFate？
*Itisfinetothinkthat，inthedaysofhisyouth，hisMajestyLouisXIV。usedtoPOWDERHISWIGWITHGOLD-DUST。
This，doubtless，washefaintobelieve。andif，onveryfinedays，fromhisterracebeforehisgloomypalaceofSaintGermains，hecouldcatchaglimpse，inthedistance，ofacertainwhitespireofSt。Denis，wherehisracelayburied，hewouldsaytohiscourtiers，withasublimecondescension，Gentlemen，youmustrememberthatI，too，ammortal。Surelythelordsinwaitingcouldhardlythinkhimserious，andvowedthathisMajestyalwayslovedajoke。However，mortalornot，thesightofthatsharpspirewoundedhisMajesty’seyes。andissaid，bythelegend，tohavecausedthebuildingofthepalaceofBabel-Versailles。
Intheyear1681，then，thegreatking，withbagandbaggage，——withguards，cooks，chamberlains，mistresses，Jesuits，gentlemen，lackeys，Fenelons，Molieres，Lauzuns，Bossuets，Villars，Villeroys，Louvois，Colberts，——transportedhimselftohisnewpalace：theoldonebeingleftforJamesofEnglandandJaquettehiswife，whentheirtimeshouldcome。Andwhenthetimedidcome，andJamessoughthisbrother’skingdom，itisonrecordthatLouishastenedtoreceiveandconsolehim，andpromisedtorestore，incontinently，thoseislandsfromwhichthecanaillehadturnedhim。Betweenbrotherssuchagiftwasatrifle。andthecourtierssaidtooneanotherreverently：*TheLordsaiduntomyLord，Sitthouonmyrighthand，untilImakethineenemiesthyfootstool。Therewasnoblasphemyinthespeech：onthecontrary，itwasgravelysaid，byafaithfulbelievingman，whothoughtitnoshametothelatter，tocomparehisMajestywithGodAlmighty。Indeed，thebooksofthetimewillgiveoneastrongideahowgeneralwasthisLouis-
worship。Ihavejustbeenlookingatone，whichwaswrittenbyanhonestJesuitandProtegeofPerelaChaise，whodedicatesabookofmedalstotheaugustInfantsofFrance，whichdoes，indeed，goalmostasfarinprint。HecallsourfamousmonarchLouisleGrand：——1，l’invincible。2，lesage。3，leconquerant。4，lamerveilledesonsiecle。5，laterreurdesesennemis。6，l’amourdesespeuples。7，l’arbitredelapaixetdelaguerre。8，l’admirationdel’univers。9，etdigned’enetrelemaitre。10，lemodeled’unherosacheve。11，dignedel’immortalite，etdelavenerationdetouslessiecles！
*IthinkitisintheamusingMemoirsofMadamedeCrequiaforgery，butaworkremarkableforitslearningandaccuracythattheaboveanecdoteisrelated。
AprettyJesuitdeclaration，truly，andagoodhonestjudgmentuponthegreatking！Inthirtyyearsmore——1。Theinvinciblehadbeenbeatenavastnumberoftimes。2。Thesagewasthepuppetofanartfuloldwoman，whowasthepuppetofmoreartfulpriests。
3。Theconquerorhadquiteforgottenhisearlyknackofconquering。
5。Theterrorofhisenemiesfor4，themarvelofhisage，wepretermit，itbeingalooseterm，thatmayapplytoanypersonorthingwasnowterrifiedbyhisenemiesinturn。6。Theloveofhispeoplewasasheartilydetestedbythemasscarcelyanyothermonarch，notevenhisgreat-grandson，hasbeen，beforeorsince。
7。ThearbiterofpeaceandwarwasfaintosendsuperbambassadorstokicktheirheelsinDutchshopkeepers’ante-
chambers。8，isagainageneralterm。9。Themanfittobemasteroftheuniverse，wasscarcelymasterofhisownkingdom。
10。Thefinishedherowasallbutfinished，inaverycommonplaceandvulgarway。And11。Themanworthyofimmortalitywasjustatthepointofdeath，withoutafriendtosootheordeplorehim。onlywitheredoldMaintenontoutterprayersathisbedside，andcroakingJesuitstopreparehim，*withheavenknowswhatwretchedtricksandmummeries，forhisappearanceinthatGreatRepublicthatliesontheothersideofthegrave。Inthecourseofhisfourscoresplendidmiserableyears，heneverhadbutonefriend，andheruinedandlefther。PoorLaValliere，whatasadtaleisyours！LookatthisGaleriedesGlaces，criesMonsieurVatout，staggeringwithsurpriseattheappearanceoftheroom，twohundredandforty-twofeetlong，andfortyhigh。HereitwasthatLouisdisplayedallthegrandeurofroyalty。andsuchwasthesplendorofhiscourt，andtheluxuryofthetimes，thatthisimmenseroomcouldhardlycontainthecrowdofcourtiersthatpressedaroundthemonarch。Wonderful！wonderful！Eightthousandfourhundredandsixtysquarefeetofcourtiers！Giveasquareyardtoeach，andyouhaveamatterofthreethousandofthem。Thinkofthreethousandcourtiersperday，andallthechoppingandchangingofthemfornearfortyyears：someofthemdying，somegettingtheirwishes，andretiringtotheirprovincestoenjoytheirplunder。
somedisgraced，andgoinghometopineawayoutofthelightofthesun。**newonesperpetuallyarriving，——pushing，squeezing，fortheirplace，inthecrowdedGaleriedesGlaces。Aquarterofamillionofnoblecountenances，attheveryleast，mustthoseglasseshavereflected。Rouge，diamonds，ribbons，patches，uponthefacesofsmilingladies：toweringperiwigs，sleekshavencrowns，tuftedmoustaches，scars，andgrizzledwhiskers，wornbyministers，priests，dandies，andgrimoldcommanders——Somanyfaces，Oyegods！andeveryoneofthemlies！Somanytongues，vowingdevotionandrespectfullovetothegreatkinginhissix-
inchwig。andonlypoorLaValliere’samongstthemallwhichhadawordoftruthforthedullearsofLouisofBourbon。
*TheymadeaJesuitofhimonhisdeath-bed。
**SaintSimon’saccountofLauzun，indisgrace，isadmirablyfacetiousandpathetic。Lauzun’sregretsareasmonstrousasthoseofRaleighwhendeprivedofthesightofhisadorableQueenandMistress，Elizabeth。
Quandj’auraidelapeineauxCarmelites，saysunhappyLouise，abouttoretirefromthesemagnificentcourtiersandtheirgrandGaleriedesGlaces，jemesouviendraidecequecesgenslam’ontfaitsouffrir！——AtroopofBossuetsinveighingagainstthevanitiesofcourtscouldnotpreachsuchanaffectingsermon。Whatyearsofanguishandwronghadthepoorthingsuffered，beforethesesadwordscamefromhergentlelips！Howthesecourtiershavebowedandflattered，kissedthegroundonwhichshetrod，foughttohavethehonorofridingbyhercarriage，writtensonnets，andcalledhergoddess。who，inthedaysofherprosperity，waskindandbeneficent，gentleandcompassionatetoall。thenonacertainday，whenitiswhisperedthathisMajestyhathcasttheeyesofhisgraciousaffectionuponanotherbeholdthreethousandcourtiersareatthefeetofthenewdivinity——OdivineAthenais！
whatblockheadshavewebeentoworshipanybutyou——THATagoddess？——aprettygoddessforsooth——awitch，rather，who，forawhile，keptourgraciousmonarchblind！Lookather：thewomanlimpsasshewalks。and，bysacredVenus，hermouthstretchesalmosttoherdiamondear-rings？*Thesametalemaybetoldofmanymoredesertedmistresses。andfairAthenaisdeMontespanwastohearitofherselfoneday。Meantime，whileLaValliere’sheartisbreaking，themodelofafinishedheroisyawning。as，onsuchpaltryoccasions，afinishedheroshould。LETherheartbreak：aplagueuponhertearsandrepentance。whatrighthasshetorepent？
Awaywithhertoherconvent。Shegoes，andthefinishedheronevershedsatear。Whatanoblepitchofstoicismtohavereached！OurLouiswassogreat，thatthelittlewoesofmeanpeoplewerebeyondhim：hisfriendsdied，hismistresseslefthim。hischildren，onebyone，werecutoffbeforehiseyes，andgreatLouisisnotmovedintheslightestdegree！Ashow，indeed，shouldagodbemoved？
*Apairofdiamondear-rings，givenbytheKingtoLaValliere，causedmuchscandal。andsomelampoonsareextant，whichimpugnthetasteofLouisXIV。forlovingaladywithsuchanenormousmouth。
Ihaveoftenlikedtothinkaboutthisstrangecharacterintheworld，whomovedinit，bearingaboutafullbeliefinhisowninfallibility。teachinghisgeneralstheartofwar，hisministersthescienceofgovernment，hiswitstaste，hiscourtiersdress。
orderingdesertstobecomegardens，turningvillagesintopalacesatabreath。andindeedtheaugustfigureoftheman，ashetowersuponhisthrone，cannotfailtoinspireonewithrespectandawe：——
howgrandthoseflowinglocksappear。howawfulthatsceptre。howmagnificentthoseflowingrobes！InLouis，surely，ifinanyone，themajestyofkinghoodisrepresented。
Butakingisnoteveryinchaking，forallthepoetmaysay。anditiscurioustoseehowmuchprecisemajestythereisinthatmajesticfigureofLudovicusRex。IntheFrontispiece，wehaveendeavoredtomaketheexactcalculation。Theideaofkinglydignityisequallystronginthetwoouterfigures。andyousee，atonce，thatmajestyismadeoutofthewig，thehigh-heeledshoes，andcloak，allfleurs-de-lisbespangled。Asforthelittlelean，shrivelled，paunchyoldman，offivefeettwo，inajacketandbreeches，thereisnomajestyinHIMatanyrate。andyethehasjuststeppedoutofthatverysuitofclothes。Putthewigandshoesonhim，andheissixfeethigh——theotherfripperies，andhestandsbeforeyoumajestic，imperial，andheroic！Thusdobarbersandcobblersmakethegodsthatweworship：fordowenotallworshiphim？Yes。thoughweallknowhimtobestupid，heartless，short，ofdoubtfulpersonalcourage，worshipandadmirehimwemust。andhavesetup，inourhearts，agrandimageofhim，endowedwithwit，magnanimity，valor，andenormousheroicalstature。
Andwhatmagnanimousactsareattributedtohim！or，rather，howdifferentlydoweviewtheactionsofheroesandcommonmen，andfindthatthesamethingshallbeawonderfulvirtueintheformer，which，inthelatter，isonlyanordinaryactofduty。Lookatyonderwindowoftheking’schamber——onemorningaroyalcanewasseenwhirlingoutofit，andplumpedamongthecourtiersandguardofhonorbelow。KingLouishadabsolutely，andwithhisownhand，flunghisowncaneoutofthewindow，because，saidhe，Iwon’tdemeanmyselfbystrikingagentleman！Omiracleofmagnanimity！
Lauzunwasnotcaned，becausehebesoughtmajestytokeephispromise，——onlyimprisonedfortenyearsinPignerol，alongwithbanishedFouquet——andaprettystoryisFouquet’stoo。
Outofthewindowtheking’saugustheadwasonedaythrust，whenoldCondewaspainfullytoilingupthestepsofthecourtbelow。
Don’thurryyourself，mycousin，criesmagnanimity，onewhohastocarrysomanylaurelscannotwalkfast。Atwhichallthecourtiers，lackeys，mistresses，chamberlains，Jesuits，andscullions，clasptheirhandsandburstintotears。Menareaffectedbythetaletothisveryday。Foracenturyandthree-
quarters，havenotallthebooksthatspeakofVersailles，orLouisQuatorze，toldthestory？——Don’thurryyourself，mycousin！O
admirablekingandChristian！whatapitchofcondescensionishere，thatthegreatestkingofalltheworldshouldgofortosayanythingsokind，andreallytellatotteringoldgentleman，wornoutwithgout，age，andwounds，nottowalktoofast！
Whataproperfundofslavishnessisthereinthecompositionofmankind，thathistoriesliketheseshouldbefoundtointerestandawethem。Tilltheworld’send，mostlikely，thisstorywillhaveitsplaceinthehistory-books。andunborngenerationswillreadit，andtenderlybemovedbyit。IamsurethatMagnanimitywenttobedthatnight，pleasedandhappy，intimatelyconvincedthathehaddoneanactionofsublimevirtue，andhadeasyslumbersandsweetdreams，——especiallyifhehadtakenalightsupper，andnottoovehementlyattackedhisencasdenuit。
Thatfamousadventure，inwhichtheencasdenuitwasbroughtintouse，forthesakeofonePoquelinaliasMoliere——howoftenhasitbeendescribedandadmired？ThisPoquelin，thoughking’svalet-de-
chambre，wasbyprofessionavagrant。andassuch，lookedcoldlyonbythegreatlordsofthepalace，whorefusedtoeatwithhim。
Majestyhearingofthis，orderedhisencasdenuittobeplacedonthetable，andpositivelycutoffawingwithhisownknifeandforkforPoquelin’suse。OthricehappyJeanBaptiste！Thekinghasactuallysatdownwithhimcheekbyjowl，hadtheliver-wingofafowl，andgivenMolierethegizzard。puthisimperiallegsunderthesamemahoganysubiisdemtrabibus。Aman，aftersuchanhonor，canlookforlittleelseinthisworld：hehastastedtheutmostconceivableearthlyhappiness，andhasnothingtodonowbuttofoldhisarms，lookuptoheaven，andsingNuncdimittisanddie。
DonotletusabusepooroldLouisonaccountofthismonstrouspride。butonlylayittothechargeofthefoolswhobelievedandworshippedit。If，honestman，hebelievedhimselftobealmostagod，itwasonlybecausethousandsofpeoplehadtoldhimso——
peopleonlyhalfliars，too。whodid，inthedepthsoftheirslavishrespect，admirethemanalmostasmuchastheysaidtheydid。If，whenheappearedinhisfive-hundred-millioncoat，asheissaidtohavedone，beforetheSiameseambassadors，thecourtiersbegantoshadetheireyesandlongforparasols，asifthisBourbonicsunwastoohotforthem。indeed，itisnowonderthatheshouldbelievethattherewassomethingdazzlingabouthisperson：
hehadhalfamillionofeagertestimoniestothisidea。Whowastotellhimthetruth？——Onlyinthelastyearsofhislifedidtremblingcourtiersdarewhispertohim，aftermuchcircumlocution，thatacertainbattlehadbeenfoughtataplacecalledBlenheim，andthatEugeneandMarlboroughhadstoppedhislongcareeroftriumphs。
Onn’estplusheureuxanotreage，saystheoldman，tooneofhisoldgenerals，welcomingTallardafterhisdefeat。andherewardshimwithhonors，asifhehadcomefromavictory。Thereis，ifyouwill，somethingmagnanimousinthiswelcometohisconqueredgeneral，thisstoutprotestagainstFate。Disastersucceedsdisaster。armiesafterarmiesmarchouttomeetfieryEugeneandthatdogged，fatalEnglishman，anddisappearinthesmokeoftheenemies’cannon。EvenatVersaillesyoumayalmosthearitroaringatlast。butwhencourtiers，whohaveforgottentheirgod，nowtalkofquittingthisgrandtempleofhis，oldLouisplucksupheartandwillneverhearofsurrender。AllthegoldandsilveratVersailleshemelts，tofindbreadforhisarmies：allthejewelsonhisfive-hundred-millioncoathepawnsresolutely。
and，biddingVillarsgoandmakethelaststrugglebutone，promises，ifhisgeneralisdefeated，toplacehimselfattheheadofhisnobles，anddieKingofFrance。Indeed，afteraman，forsixtyyears，hasbeenperformingthepartofahero，someoftherealheroicstuffmusthaveenteredintohiscomposition，whetherhewouldornot。WhenthegreatEllistonwasenactingthepartofKingGeorgetheFourth，intheplayofTheCoronation，atDruryLane，thegalleriesapplaudedveryloudlyhissuavityandmajesticdemeanor，atwhichElliston，inflamedbythepopularloyaltyandbysomefermentedliquorinwhich，itissaid，hewasinthehabitofindulging，burstintotears，andspreadingouthisarms，exclaimed：Blessye，blessye，mypeople！Don’tletuslaughathisEllistonianmajesty，noratthepeoplewhoclappedhandsandyelledbravo！inpraiseofhim。Thetipsyoldmanagerdidreallyfeelthathewasaheroatthatmoment。andthepeople，wildwithdelightandattachmentforamagnificentcoatandbreeches，surelywereutteringthetruesentimentsofloyalty：whichconsistsinreverencingtheseandotherarticlesofcostume。Inthisfifthact，then，ofhislongroyaldrama，oldLouisperformedhispartexcellently。andwhenthecurtaindropsuponhim，helies，dressedmajestically，inabecomingkinglyattitude，asakingshould。
Thekinghissuccessorhasnotleft，atVersailles，halfsomuchoccasionformoralizing。perhapstheneighboringParcauxCerfswouldaffordbetterillustrationsofhisreign。Thelifeofhisgreatgrandsire，theGrandLlamaofFrance，seemstohavefrightenedLouisthewell-beloved。whounderstoodthatlonelinessisoneofthenecessaryconditionsofdivinity，andbeingofajovial，companionableturn，aspirednotbeyondmanhood。Onlyinthematterofladiesdidhesurpasshispredecessor，asSolomondidDavid。Warheeschewed，ashisgrandfatherbadehim。andhissimpletastefoundlittleinthisworldtoenjoybeyondthemullingofchocolateandthefryingofpancakes。Look，hereistheroomcalledLaboratoireduRoi，where，withhisownhands，hemadehismistress’sbreakfast：——hereisthelittledoorthroughwhich，fromherapartmentsintheupperstory，thechasteDuBarricamestealingdowntothearmsoftheweary，feeble，gloomyoldman。
Butofwomenhewastiredlongsince，andevenpancake-fryinghadpalleduponhim。Whathadhetodo，afterfortyyearsofreign——
afterhavingexhaustedeverything？EverypleasurethatDuboiscouldinventforhishotyouth，orcunningLebelcouldministertohisoldage，wasflatandstale。useduptotheverydregs：everyshillinginthenationalpursehadbeensqueezedout，byPompadourandDuBarriandsuchbrilliantministersofstate。Hehadfoundoutthevanityofpleasure，ashisancestorhaddiscoveredthevanityofglory：indeeditwashightimethatheshoulddie。Anddiehedid。androundhistomb，asroundthatofhisgrandfatherbeforehim，thestarvingpeoplesangadreadfulchorusofcurses，whichweretheonlyepitaphsforgoodorforevilthatwereraisedtohismemory。
Asforthecourtiers——theknightsandnobles，theunboughtgraceoflife——they，ofcourse，forgothiminoneminuteafterhisdeath，asthewayis。Whenthekingdies，theofficerappointedopenshischamberwindow，andcallingoutintothecourtbelow，LeRoiestmort，breakshiscane，takesanotherandwavesit，exclaiming，viveleRoi！StraightwayalltheloyalnoblesbeginyellingviveleRoi！andtheofficergoesroundsolemnlyandsetsyondergreatclockintheCourdeMarbretothehouroftheking’sdeath。ThisoldLouishadsolemnlyordained。buttheVersaillesclockwasonlysettwice：therewasnoshoutingofViveleRoiwhenthesuccessorofLouisXV。mountedtoheaventojoinhissaintedfamily。
Strangestoriesofthedeathsofkingshavealwaysbeenveryrecreatingandprofitabletous：whatafineoneisthatofthedeathofLouisXV。，asMadameCampantellsit。OnenightthegraciousmonarchcamebackillfromTrianon。thediseaseturnedouttobethesmall-pox。soviolentthattenpeopleofthosewhohadtoenterhischambercaughttheinfectionanddied。Thewholecourtfliesfromhim。onlypooroldfatMesdamestheKing’sdaughterspersistinremainingathisbedside，andprayingforhissoul’swelfare。
Onthe10thMay，1774，thewholecourthadassembledatthechateau。theoeildeBoeufwasfull。TheDauphinhaddeterminedtodepartassoonasthekinghadbreathedhislast。Anditwasagreedbythepeopleofthestables，withthosewhowatchedintheking’sroom，thatalightedcandleshouldbeplacedinawindow，andshouldbeextinguishedassoonashehadceasedtolive。Thecandlewasputout。Atthatsignal，guards，pages，andsquiresmountedonhorseback，andeverythingwasmadereadyfordeparture。
TheDauphinwaswiththeDauphiness，waitingtogetherforthenewsoftheking’sdemise。ANIMMENSENOISE，ASIFOFTHUNDER，WAS
HEARDINTHENEXTROOM。itwasthecrowdofcourtiers，whoweredesertingthedeadking’sapartment，inordertopaytheircourttothenewpowerofLouisXVI。MadamedeNoaillesentered，andwasthefirsttosalutethequeenbyhertitleofQueenofFrance，andbeggedtheirMajestiestoquittheirapartments，toreceivetheprincesandgreatlordsofthecourtdesiroustopaytheirhomagetothenewsovereigns。Leaningonherhusband’sarm，ahandkerchieftohereyes，inthemosttouchingattitude，MarieAntoinettereceivedthesefirstvisits。Onquittingthechamberwherethedeadkinglay，theDucdeVillequierbadeM。Anderville，firstsurgeonoftheking，toopenandembalmthebody：itwouldhavebeencertaindeathtothesurgeon。Iamready，sir，saidhe。butwhilstIamoperating，youmustholdtheheadofthecorpse：yourchargedemandsit。TheDukewentawaywithoutaword，andthebodywasneitheropenednorembalmed。Afewhumbledomesticsandpoorworkmenwatchedbytheremains，andperformedthelastofficestotheirmaster。Thesurgeonsorderedspiritsofwinetobepouredintothecoffin。
Theyhuddledtheking’sbodyintoapost-chaise。andinthisdeplorableequipage，withanescortofaboutfortymen，Louisthewell-belovedwascarried，inthedeadofnight，fromVersaillestoSt。Denis，andthenthrownintothetombofthekingsofFrance！
Ifanymaniscurious，andcangetpermission，hemaymounttotheroofofthepalace，andseewhereLouisXVI。usedroyallytoamusehimself，bygazinguponthedoingsofallthetownspeoplebelowwithatelescope。Beholdthatbalcony，where，onemorning，he，hisqueen，andthelittleDauphinstood，withCromwellGrandisonLafayettebytheirside，whokissedherMajesty’shand，andprotectedher。andthen，lovinglysurroundedbyhispeople，thekinggotintoacoachandcametoParis：nordidhisMajestyridemuchincoachesafterthat。
Thereisaportraitoftheking，intheuppergalleries，clothedinredandgold，ridingafathorse，brandishingasword，onwhichthewordJusticeisinscribed，andlookingremarkablystupidanduncomfortable。Youseethatthehorsewillthrowhimattheveryfirstfling。andasforthesword，itneverwasmadeforsuchhandsashis，whichweregoodatholdingacorkscreworacarving-knife，butnotcleveratthemanagementofweaponsofwar。Letthosepityhimwhowill：callhimsaintandmartyrifyouplease。butamartyrtowhatprinciplewashe？Didhefranklysupporteitherpartyinhiskingdom，orcheatandtamperwithboth？Hemighthaveescaped。
buthemusthavehissupper：andsohisfamilywasbutcheredandhiskingdomlost，andhehadhisbottleofBurgundyincomfortatVarennes。Asinglechargeuponthefatal10thofAugust，andthemonarchymighthavebeenhisoncemore。butheissotender-
hearted，thatheletshisfriendsbemurderedbeforehiseyesalmost：or，atleast，whenhehasturnedhisbackuponhisdutyandhiskingdom，andhasskulkedforsafetyintothereporters’box，attheNationalAssembly。Therewerehundredsofbravemenwhodiedthatday，andweremartyrs，ifyouwill。poorneglectedtenth-ratecourtiers，forthemostpart，whohadforgottenoldslightsanddisappointments，andlefttheirplacesofsafetytocomeanddie，ifneedwere，sharinginthesupremehourofthemonarchy。
Monarchywasagreatdealtoohumanetofightalongwiththese，andsoleftthemtothepikesofSanterreandthemercyofthemenoftheSections。ButwearewanderingagoodtenmilesfromVersailles，andfromthedeedswhichLouisXVI。performedthere。
Heissaidtohavebeensuchasmartjourneymanblacksmith，thathemight，ifFatehadnotperverselyplacedacrownonhishead，haveearnedacoupleoflouiseveryweekbythemakingoflocksandkeys。Thosewhowillmayseetheworkshopwhereheemployedmanyusefulhours：MadameElizabethwasatprayersmeanwhile。thequeenwasmakingpleasantpartieswithherladies。MonsieurtheCountd’Artoiswaslearningtodanceonthetight-rope。andMonsieurdeProvencewascultivatingl’eloquencedubilletandstudyinghisfavoriteHorace。Itissaidthateachmemberoftheaugustfamilysucceededremarkablywellinhisorherpursuits。bigMonsieur’slittlenotesarestillcited。Ataminuetorsyllabub，poorAntoinettewasunrivalled。andCharles，onthetight-rope，wassogracefulandsogentil，thatMadameSaquimightenvyhim。Thetimeonlywasoutofjoint。Ocursedspite，thateversuchharmlesscreaturesasthesewerebiddentorightit！
AwalktothelittleTrianonisbothpleasingandmoral：nodoubtthereaderhasseentheprettyfantasticalgardenswhichenvironit。thegrovesandtemples。thestreamsandcavernswhither，astheguidetellsyou，duringtheheatofsummer，itwasthecustomofMarieAntoinettetoretire，withherfavorite，MadamedeLamballe：thelakeandSwissvillageareprettylittletoys，moreover。andtheciceroneoftheplacedoesnotfailtopointoutthedifferentcottageswhichsurroundthepieceofwater，andtellthenamesoftheroyalmasqueraderswhoinhabitedeach。Inthelongcottage，closeuponthelake，dwelttheSeigneurduVillage，nolessapersonagethanLouisXV……LouisXVI。，theDauphin，wastheBailli。nearhiscottageisthatofMonseigneurtheCountd’Artois，whowastheMiller。oppositelivedthePrincedeConde，whoenactedthepartofGamekeeperor，indeed，anyotherrole，foritdoesnotsignifymuch。nearhimwasthePrincedeRohan，whowastheAumonier。andyonderistheprettylittledairy，whichwasunderthechargeofthefairMarieAntoinetteherself。
IforgetwhetherMonsieurthefatCountofProvencetookanyshareofthisroyalmasquerading。butlookatthenamesoftheothersixactorsofthecomedy，anditwillbehardtofindanypersonforwhomFatehadsuchdreadfulvisitationsinstore。Fancytheparty，inthedaysoftheirprosperity，heregatheredatTrianon，andseatedunderthetallpoplarsbythelake，discoursingfamiliarlytogether：supposeofasuddensomeconjuringCagliostroofthetimeisintroducedamongthem，andforetellstothemthewoesthatareabouttocome。You，Monsieurl’Aumonier，thedescendantofalonglineofprinces，thepassionateadmirerofthatfairqueenwhositsbyyourside，shallbethecauseofherruinandyourown，*andshalldieindisgraceandexile。You，sonoftheCondes，shalllivelongenoughtoseeyourroyalraceoverthrown，andshalldiebythehandsofahangman。**You，oldestsonofSaintLouis，shallperishbytheexecutioner’saxe。thatbeautifulhead，OAntoinette，thesameruthlessbladeshallsever。Theyshallkillmefirst，
saysLamballe，atthequeen’sside。Yes，truly，repliesthesoothsayer，forFateprescribesruinforyourmistressandallwholoveher。***And，criesMonsieurd’Artois，doInotlovemysister，too？Iprayyounottoomitmeinyourprophecies。
*Inthediamond-necklaceaffair。
**Hewasfoundhanginginhisownbedroom。
***Amongthemanyloversthatrumorgavetothequeen，poorFerscuisthemostremarkable。Heseemstohaveentertainedforherahighandperfectlypuredevotion。HewasthechiefagentinthelucklessescapetoVarennes。waslurkinginParisduringthetimeofhercaptivity。andwasconcernedinthemanyfruitlessplotsthatweremadeforherrescue。Fersculivedtobeanoldman，butdiedadreadfulandviolentdeath。Hewasdraggedfromhiscarriagebythemob，inStockholm，andmurderedbythem。
TowhomMonsieurCagliostrosays，scornfully，Youmaylookforwardtofiftyyearsoflife，aftermostofthesearelaidinthegrave。
Youshallbeaking，butnotdieone。andshallleavethecrownonly。nottheworthlessheadthatshallwearit。Thriceshallyougointoexile：youshallflyfromthepeople，first，whowouldhavenomoreofyouandyourrace。andyoushallreturnhomeoverhalfamillionofhumancorpses，thathavebeenmadeforthesakeofyou，andofatyrantasgreatasthegreatestofyourfamily。Againdrivenaway，yourbitterestenemyshallbringyouback。ButthestronglimbsofFrancearenottobechainedbysuchapaltryyokeasyoucanputonher：youshallbeatyrant，butinwillonly。andshallhaveasceptre，buttoseeitrobbedfromyourhand。
Andpray，SirConjurer，whoshallbetherobber？askedMonsieurtheCountd’Artois。
ThisIcannotsay，forheremydreamended。Thefactis，IhadfallenasleepononeofthestonebenchesintheAvenuedeParis，andatthisinstantwasawakenedbyawhirlingofcarriagesandagreatclatteringofnationalguards，lancersandoutriders，inred。
HisMAJESTYLOUISPHILIPPEwasgoingtopayavisittothepalace。
whichcontainsseveralpicturesofhisowngloriousactions，andwhichhasbeendedicated，byhim，toallthegloriesofFrance。
End