"FRIEDRICHWILHELM。"
　　[Preuss，i。27；fromCramer，pp。33，34。]
　　DOUBLE—MARRIAGEPROJECTRE—EMERGESINANOFFICIALSHAPE。
　　ThesearenotfavorableoutlooksfortheDouble—Marriage。
　　Neverthelessitcomesandgoes；andwithinthreeweekslater，wearetouchedalmostwithakindofpitytoseeitdefinitelyemerginginakindofOfficialstateoncemore。Forthequestionissymbolicalofimportantpoliticalquestions。Thequestionmeanswithal，WhatistobedoneinthesedreadfulCongress—of—Soissonscomplexities，andmadreelingsoftheTerrestrialBalance？
　　ShallweholdbyadubiousandratherlosingKaiserofthiskind，inspiteofhisdubieties，hishighlyinexplicit，procedures（forwhichhemayhavereasons）aboutthePromiseofJulichandBerg？
　　OrshallwenotclutchatEngland，afterall，——andperhapsbringhimtoterms？TheSmokingParliamenthadnoHansard；but，weguessitsDebates（mostlydoneindumb—show）werecloudy，abstruseandabundant，atthistime！ThePrussianMinisters，iftheyhadanypower，takedifferentsides；oldIlgen，theoldestandablestofthem，isstrongforEngland。
　　Enough，inthebeginningofOctober，QueenSophie，"byexpressdesireofhisMajesty，"whowillhaveexplicit，YesorNoonthatmatter，writestoEngland，aLetter"PRIVATEANDOFFICIAL，"ofsuchpurport，——Letter（nowinvisible）whichDubourgayisproudtotransmit。[Despatch，5thOctober，1728，inState—PaperOffice。]
　　Dubourgayisproud；andoldIlgen，herMajestyinformedmeonthemorrow，"weptforjoy，"sozealouswasheonthatside。Pooroldgentleman，——respectablerustyoldIronSafewithsevenlocks，whichnobodywouldnowcaretopick，——hediedfewweeksafter，athispostaswasproper；andsawnoDouble—Marriage，afterall。
　　ButDubourgayshakesouthisfeathers；theDouble—Marriagebeingagainevidentlyalive。
　　ForEnglandanswers，cordiallyenough，ifnot，withallthehurryFriedrichWilhelmwanted，"Yea，wearewillingforthething；"——
　　andmeets，withgreatequanimityandliberality，thenewwhims，difficultiesandmisgivings，whicharoseonFriedrichWilhelm’spart，atawearisomerate，asthenegotiationwenton；andwhicharealwaysfranklysmoothedawayagainbythecoolerparty。
　　Whydidnotthebargainclose，then？Alas，onefinds，theanswerYEAhadunfortunatelysethisPrussianMajestyonviewing，throughmagnifiers，whatadvantagestheremighthavebeeninNO:thisisadifficultythereisnoclearingaway！Probably，too，theTobacco—Parliamentwasindustrious。FriedrichWilhelm，atlast，triesifHalfwillnotdo；anxious，aswealltoomuchare，"tosayYesANDNo；"beingingreatstraits，poorman:——"YourPrinceofWalestowedWilhelminaatonce；theotherMatchtostandover？"TowhichtheEnglishGovernmentanswersalwaysbriefly，"No；boththeMarriagesornone！"——WillthereaderconsenttoafewcompressedglancesintotheextinctDubourgayCorrespondence；
　　muchcompressed，andhereandtherearushlightstuckinit，forhisbehoof。Dubourgay，atBerlin，writes；myLordTownshend，inSt。James’sreads，usuallyratherlanguidinanswering:——
　　BERLIN，9thNOVEMBER，1728。"PrussianMajestymuchpleasedwithEnglishAnswers"totheYes—or—Noquestion:"willsendaMinistertoourCourtaboutthetimehisBritannicMajestymaythinkofcomingovertohisGermanDominions。WouldFinkenstein（HeadTutor），orwouldKnyphausen（distinguishedOfficialhere），betheagreeableman？""Either，"answertheEnglish；"eitherisgood。"
　　BERLIN，SAMEDATE。"Queensentformejustnow；ishighlycontentwiththestateofthings。’Ihavenow，’saidherMajesty，’thepleasuretotellyouthatIamfree，Godbeblessed，ofalltheanguishIhavelaboredunderforsometimepast，whichwassogreatthatIhaveseveraltimesbeenonthepointofsendingforyoutoprocuremyBrother’sprotectionformySon，who，Ithought，ranthegreatestdangerfromtheartificesofSeckendorfand’"——
　　PoorQueen！
　　NOV，16th。"Queentoldme:WhentheCourtwasatWusterhausen，"
　　twomonthsago，huntingpartridgesandwildswine，[Fassmann，p。386。]"SeckendorfandGrumkowintriguedforamatchbetweenWilhelminaandthePrinceofWeissenfels，"elderlyRoyalHighnessintheAbstract，whomwesawalready，"therebytopreventacloserunionbetweenthePrussianandEnglishCourts，——andGrumkowhavingwithaltheprivateviewofoustinghisantagonistthePrinceofAnhalt[OldDessauer，whomhehadtomeetinduel，butdidnotfight]，asWeissenfels，onceSon—in—law，wouldcertainlybemadeCommander—in—Chief，"[Dubourgay，inState—PaperOffice（PrussianDespatches，vol。XXXV。）]totheextrusionofAnhaltfromthatoffice。WhichnotablepieceofpolicyherMajesty，byalittleplainspeech，tookheropportunityofputtinganendto，aswesaw。Fortherest，"theDutchMinisterandalsotheFrenchSecretarieshere，"greatlyinterestedaboutthepeaceofEurope，andtheCongressofSoissonsintheseweeks，"havehadacommunicationfromthisCourt，ofthefavorabledispositionoursisinwithrespecttotheDoubleMatch，"——beneficentfortheTerrestrialBalance，astheyandIhope。Sothatthingslookwell？Alas，——
　　DECEMBER25th。"Queensentformeyesterday:HopesshedoesnowrongincomplainingofherHusbandtoherBrother。KingshowsscruplesabouttheMarriages；doesnotrelishtheexpenseofanestablishmentforthePrince；hopes，atallevents，theMarriagewillnottakeplaceforayearyet；——wouldliketoknowwhatDowrytheEnglishPrincessistobring？"——"NoDowrywithourPrincess，"
　　theEnglishanswer；"norshallyougiveanywithyours。"
　　NEW—YEAR’SDAY，1729。"Queensentforme:KingisgettingintractableabouttheMarriages；shereasonedwithhimfromtwoo’clocktilleight，"withouttheleastpermanenteffect。"Itishiscovetousness，"IDubourgayprivatelythink！——Knyphausen，whoknowstheKingwell，privatelytellsme，"Hewillcomeround。"
　　"Itishisavarice，"thinksKnyphausentoo；"nayitisalsohisjealousyofthePrince，whoisverypopularwiththeArmy。
　　Kingdoeseverythingtomortifyhim，useshimlikeachild；
　　Crown—Princebearsitwithadmirablepatience。"ThisisKnyphausen’sweaknotion；ratheraweakcreakyofficialgentleman，Ishouldgather，ofacryptospleneticturn。"Queentoldmesomedayslater，HisMajestyill—usedtheCrown—Prince，becausehedidnotdrinkhardenough；makeshimhuntthoughill；"isveryharduponthepoorCrown—Prince，——who，fortherest，"sendslovingmessagestoEngland，"asusual；[Dubourgay，16thJanuary。]
　　covertlymeaningthePrincessAmelia，asusual。"Somewhileago，ImustinformyourLordship，thePrincewasspokento，"byPapaaswouldappear，"tosoundhisinclinationastothePrincessCaroline，"PrincesslikewiseofEngland，andwhoseage，someeighteenmonthslessthanhisown，mightbesuitabler，thePrincessAmeliabeinghalfayearhiselder；[Carolineborn10thJune1713；Amelia，10thJuly，1711。]"but，"——markhowtruehestood，——"hisRoyalHighnessbrokeoutintosuchrapturesofloveandpassionforthePrincessAmelia，andshowedsomuchimpatiencefortheconclusionofthatMatch，asgavetheKingofPrussiaagreatdealofsurprise，andtheQueenasmuchsatisfaction。"
　　Truthis，ifanoldBrigadierDiplomatistmaybejudge，"ThegreatandgoodqualitiesofthatyoungPrince，bothofpersonandmind，deserveadistinctandparticularaccount，withwhichIshalltroubleyourLordshipanotherday；"[Despatch，25thDecember，1728。]——whichunluckilyIneverdid；hisLordshipTownshendhaving，itwouldseem，toolittlecuriosityonthesubject。
　　Andsothematterwavers；andinspiteofDubourgay’sandQueenSophie’sindustry，andtheCrown—Prince’swillingmind，therecannothingdefinitebemadeofitatthistime。FriedrichWilhelmgoesonvisits，goesonhuntings；leavesthemattertoitselftomaturealittle。Thusthenegotiationhangsfire；
　　andwilldoso，——tilldreadfulwaterspoutscome，andperhapsquenchitaltogether？
　　HISMAJESTYSLAUGHTERS3，602HEADOFWILDSWINE。
　　HisMajestyisoffforaHuntingVisittotheOldDessauer，——
　　Crown—Princewithhim，whohateshunting。Then，"19thJanuary，1729，"saysthereverentialFassmann，heisoffforagrandhuntatCopenick；thenforagranderinPommern（Crown—Princestillwithhim）:suchaslaughterofwildswineaswasseldomheardof，andasneveroccurredagain。Nofewerthan"1，882head（STUCK）ofwildswine，300ofthemofuncommonmagnitude，"intheStettinandotherPommernregions；"togetherwith1，720STUCKintheMarkBrandenburg，once450inaday:inall，3，602STUCK。"NeverwashisMajestyinbetterspirits:averyNimrodorhuntingCentaur；
　　tramplingthecobwebsofDiplomacy，andthecaresoflife，underhisvictorioushoofs。Allthisslaughterofswine，3，602STUCKbytale，wasdoneintheseason1729。"Fromwhich，"observestheadoringFassmann，[p。387。]"istobeinferredtheimportance，"atleastinwildswine，"ofthoseroyalForestsinPommernandtheMark；"nottospeakofhisMajesty’ssupremetalentinhunting，asinotherthings。
　　WhatFriedrichWilhelmdidwithsuchamassofwildpork？Notanounceofitwaswasted，everyounceofitbroughtmoneyin。
　　ForthereexistOfficialSchedules，listsasforawindow—taxorproperty—tax，drawnupbyhisMajesty’scontrivance，inthechiefLocalities:everyman，accordingtothehousehekeeps，isboundtotake，atajustvaluebyweight，suchandsuchquotitiesofsuddenlyslaughteredwildswine，oneorsomany，——andconsumethemathisleisure，ashamorotherwise，——cashpayableatafixedterm，andnoabatementmade。[Forster，Beneckendorf（iftheyhadanIndexI）。]ForthisisaKingthatcannotstandwasteatall；
　　thriftyhimself，andtheCauseofthrift。
　　FALLSILL，INCONSEQUENCE；ANDTHEDOUBLE—MARRIAGECANNOTGETFORWARD。
　　ThiswasoneofFriedrichWilhelm’sgrandesthunting—bouts，thisofJanuary，1729；atallevents，hewillneverhaveanothersuch。
　　Bysuchfierceriding，anddefianceofthewinterelementsandrulesofregimen，hisMajestyreturnedtoPotsdamwithillsymptomsofhealth；——symptomsneverseenbefore；excepttransiently，threeyearsago，afterasimilarbout；whentheDoctors，shakingtheirheads，hadmentionedtheword"Gout。"——
　　"NARREN—POSSEN！"FriedrichWilhelmhadanswered，"Gout？"——Butnow，February，1729，itisgoutinverydeed。HispoorMajestyhastoadmit:"Iamgouty，then！Shallhavegoutforcompanionhenceforth。Iambreakingup，then？"Whichisaterriblemessagetoaman。HisMajesty’sageisnotforty—onetillAugustcoming；
　　buthehashuntedfuriously。
　　AdoringFassmanngivesaquitetouchingaccountofFriedrichWilhelm’sperformancesundergout，nowandgenerally，whichwerebegunonthisoccasion。Howhesufferedextremely，yetneverneglectedhisroyaldutiesinanypressofpain。Couldseldomgetanysleeptilltowardsfourorfiveinthemorning，andthenhadtobecontentwithanhourortwo；afterwhichhisOfficialSecretariescameinwiththeirPapers，andhesigned，despatched，resolved，withbestjudgment，——thetopofthemorningalwaysdevotedtobusiness。Atnoon，upifpossible；anddines，"indressing—gown，withQueenandchildren。"Afterdinner，commonlytobedagain；andwouldpaintinoil；sometimesdolightjoiner—work，chisellingandinlaying；byandbylieinactivewithselectfriendssittinground，someofwhomhadtherightofentry，othersnot，underpenalties。Buddenbrock，Derschau，rougholdMarlboroughstagers，weregenerallythere；these，"andtwootherpersons，"——
　　GrumkowandSeckendorf，whomFassmanndoesnotname，lesthegetintotrouble，——"sat，wellwithinearshot，roundthebed。
　　AndalwaysattheheadwasTheirOMajestytheQueen，sometimeswiththeKing’shandlaidinhers，andhisfaceturneduptoher，asifhesoughtassuagement"——OmydimoldFriend，letusdryourtears！
　　"SometimestheCrown—PrincereadaloudinsomeFrenchBook，"Titlenotgiven；Crown—Prince’svoiceknowntomeasveryfine。
　　GenerallythePrincessLouisawasintheroom，too；Louisa，whobecameofAnspachshortly；notWilhelmina，wholiesinfeverandrelapseandsmall—pox，andcloseatdeath’sdoor，almostsincethebeginningofthesebaddays。TheCrown—Princereads，wesay，withavoiceofmelodiousclearness，inFrenchmoreorlessinstructive。"Atothertimestherewentondiscourse，aboutpublicmatters，foreignnews，thingsingeneral；discourseofacheerfulorofaseriousnature，"alwayswithsomesubstanceofsenseinit，——"andnottheleastsmutpermitted，asistoomuchthecaseincertainhighercircles！"saysadoringFassmann；whoprivatelyknowsof"Courts"（perhapstheGLORWURDIGSTE，Glory—worthiest，AugusttheGreat’sCourt，forone？）"withtheirhiredTom—Fools，"
　　notyetanextinctspeciesattemptingtogroundwitonthatbadbasis。PrussianMajestycouldnotendureany"ZOTEN:"profanityandindecency，bothavaunt。"Hehadtoholdoutinthisway，awaketillteno’clock，forthechanceofnight’ssleep。"Earlierintheafternoon，wesaid，heperhapsdoesalittleinoil—painting，havinglearntsomethingofthatartinyoungtimes；——thereisapoorartistinattendance，tomixthecolors，anddothefirstsketchofthething。SpecimensofsuchPicturesstillexist，Portraitsgenerally；allwiththisepigraph，FREDERICUSWILHELMUS
　　INTORMENTISPINXIT（PaintedbyFriedrichWilhelminhistorments）；andareworthytheattentionofthecurious。[Fassmann，p。392；seeForster，&c。]Isnotthisasublimepatient？
　　Fassmannadmits，"theremightbespurtsofIMpatiencenowandthen；buthowrichlydidMajestymakeitgoodagainafterreflection！Hewasalsosubjecttowhimsevenaboutpeoplewhomheotherwiseesteemed。Onemeritoriousgentleman，whoshallbenameless，muchthoughtofbytheKing，hisMajesty’snervescouldnotendure，thoughhismindwelldid:’Makesmygoutworsetoseehimdrillingintheesplanadethere；letanotherdoit！’——andvouchsafedanapologeticassurancetothemeritoriousgentlemanafflictedinconsequence。"——OmydimoldFriend，thesesurelyaresublimitiesofthesick—bed？"Soitlastedforsomefiveweekslong，"wellontowardsthesummerofthisbadyear1729。
　　Wilhelminasays，inbrieferbusinesslanguage，andlookingonlyatthewrongsideofthetapestry，"ItwasaHell—on—Earthtous，LespeinesduPurgatoirenepouvaientegalercellesqueNOUSendurions；"[i。157。]andsupportsthestatementbyabundantexamples，duringthoseflamyweeks。
　　For，intheinterim，withal，theEnglishnegotiationisasgoodasgoneout；naytherearewaterspoutsbrewingaloftyonder，enoughtowashnegotiationfromtheworld。Ofwhichterribleweather—phenomenaweshallhavetospeakbyandby:butmustfirst，bywayofcommentary，giveaglanceatSoissonsandtheTerrestrialLIBRA，sofarasnecessaryforhumanobjects，——notfar，byanymeans。
　　ChapterV。
　　CONGRESSOFSOISSONS，SIXTHCRISISINTHESPECTRE—HUNT。
　　Theso—calledSpanishWar，anddangerousfutileSiegeofGibraltar，hadnotendedatthedeathofGeorgeI。；thoughmeasureshadalreadybeenagreedupon，bytheKaiserandpartiesinterested，toendit，——onlytheKingofSpain（orKing’sWife，weshouldsay）madedifficulties。Difficulties，she；andkeptfiring，withouteffect，attheFortressforaboutayearmore；afterwhich，herhumororherpowderbeingout，SpanishMajestysignedliketheothers。Peaceagainforallandsundryofus:
　　"Preliminaries"ofPeacesignedatParis，31stMay，1727，threeweeksbeforeGeorge’sdeath；"Peace"itselffinallyatthePardooratMadrid，theTermaganthavingspentherpowder，6thMarch，1728；[Scholl，ii。212，213。]anda"Congress"（blessthemark！）
　　tosettleonwhattermsineverypoint。
　　Congress，sayatAix—la—Chapelle；sayatCambraiagain，——fortherearedifficultiesabouttheplace。OrsayfinallyatSoissons；
　　whereFleurywishedittobe，thathemightgetthereinsofitbetterinhand；andwhereitfinallywas，——andwheretheghostornameofityetis，anemptyenigmainthememoriesofsomemen。
　　CongressofSoissonsdidmeet，14thJune，1728；openeditself，asaCorporealEntityinthisworld；satforaboveayear；——anddidnothing；FleuryquitedecliningthePragmaticSanction，thoughtheanxiousKaiserwasreadytomakeastonishingsacrifices，giveuphisOstendCOMPANY（PaperShadowofaCompany），orwhatyouwillofthatkind，——ifmenwouldhaveconformed。
　　TheseDiplomaticgentlemen，——say，aretheyaught？Theyseemtounderstandme，byeachatoncehischoppyfingerlayingonhisskinnylips！PrincesofthePowersoftheAir，Shallwedefinethem？ItiscertainthesolidEarthorherfacts，exceptbeingheldinperpetualterrorbysuchworkingsoftheShadow—world，reapednoeffectfromthoseTwentyYearsofCongressing；
　　Seckendorfhimselfmightaswellhavelaininbed，asriddenthose25，000miles，anddonesuchquantitiesofdouble—distillations。
　　Noeffectatall:onlysomefutilegunpowderspentonGibraltar，andsplintersofshotandshells（salableasoldiron）foundabouttherocksthere；whichisnotmuchofaneffectforTwentyYearsofsuchindustry。
　　ThesublimeCongressofSoissonsmet，aswesay，attheabovedate（justwhilethePolishMajestywasclosinghisBerlinVisit）；
　　butfounditselfnoablerforworkthanthatofCambraihadbeen。
　　TheDeputiesfromFranceIdonotmention；norfromSpain，norfromAustria。TheDeputiesfromEnglandwereColonelornowproperlyBrigadier—GeneralStanhope，afterwardsLordHarrington；
　　HoraceWalpole（whoisRobert’sBrother，andwhoseSecretaryisSirThomasRobinson，"QUOIDONE，CRUSOE？"whomweshallhearoffarther）；andStephenPoyntz，aoncebrightgentleman，nowdimandobsolete，whomthereadersofCoxe’sWalpole
　　havesomenominalacquaintancewith。Here，forChronology’ssake，isaclippingfromtheoldEnglishnewspaperstoaccompanythem:
　　"ThereisrumorthatPOLLYPEACHUMisgonetoattendtheCongressatSoissons；where，itisthought，shewillmakeasgoodafigure，anddohercountryasmuchservice，asseveralothersthatshallbenameless。"[Mist’sWeeklyJournal，29thJune，1728。]
　　Theirtaskseemedeasytothesanguinemind。TheKaiserhasagreedwithSpainintheItalian—Apanagematter；withtheSea—PowersinregardtohisOstendCompany，whichisabolishedforever:
　　whatthenistopreventaspeedyprogress，andgladconclusion？
　　ThePragmaticSanction。"AcceptmyPragmaticSanction，"saidtheKaiser，"letthatbethepreliminaryofallthings。"——"Notthepreliminary，"answeredFleury；"wewillseetothataswegoon；
　　notthepreliminary，byanymeans！"Therewastherub。TheslyoldCardinalhadhisprivatetreatieswithSardinia；viewsofhisownintheMediterranean，intheRhinequarter；andansweredsteadily，"Notthepreliminary，byanymeans！"TheKaiserwasequallyinflexible。Whereuponimmensitiesofprotocolling，arguing，andtheCongress"fellintocompletelanguor，"saytheHistories。
　　[Scholl，ii。215。]Congressateitsdinnerheartily，andwroteimmensely，forthespaceofeighteenmonths；butadvancednohair’s—breadthany—whither；noprospectbeforeit，butthatofdinneronly，forunlimitedperiods。
　　KaiserwillhavehisPragmaticSanction，ornotbudgefromtheplace；standsmulelikeamidtherainofcudgellingsfromtheby—standers；canbebeatentodeath，butstirhewillnot。——Hints，glancesoftheeye，passbetweenElizabethFarneseandtheotherby—standers；suddenly，9thNovember，1729，itisfoundtheyhaveallmadea"TREATYOFSEVILLE"withElizabethFarnese；France，England，Holland，Spain，haveallclosed，——ItalianApanagestobeatoncesecured，Ostendtobeatoncesuppressed，withwhatelsebehooves；——andtheKaiserisleftalone；standinguponhisPragmaticSanctionthere，nobodybiddinghimnowbudge！
　　AtwhichtheKaiserisnaturallythriceandfourtimeswrothandalarmed；——andSeckendorfintheTABAKS—COLLEGIUMhadneedtobedoublybusy。Asweshallfindheis（thoughwithouteffect），whenthetimecomesround:——butwehavenotyetgottoNovemberofthisYear1729；therearestillsixoreightimportantmonthsbetweenusandthat。Importantmonths；andaPrussian—English"Waterspout，"aswehavenamedit，tobeseen，withduewonder，inthepoliticalsky！——
　　CongressofSoissons，nowfallenmythicaltomankind，andasinaneasthatofCambrai，isperhapsstillmemorableinoneortwoslightpoints。First，ithasinit，asoneoftheAustrianDeputies，thatBaronvonBentenrieder，tallestoflivingDiplomatists，whowaspressedatonetimeforaPrussiansoldier；
　　——readersrecollectit？WalkingthroughthestreetsofHalberstadt，tostretchhislonglimbstillhiscarriagecameup，thePrussiansentrieslaidholdofhim，"ExcellentPotsdamgiant，thisone！"——andhaledhimofftotheirguard—house；tillcarriageandlackeyscame；then，"Thousandhumblestpardons，yourExcellenz！"whoforgavethefellows。Barelypossiblesomelighterreadersmightwishtosee，foronemoment，anExcellenzthathasbeenseizedbyaPress—gang？WhichperhapsneverhappenedtoanyotherExcellenz；——thelikeofwhich，Ihavebeentold，mightmerithimasoireefromstrong—mindedwomen，insomeremoterpartsoftheworld。NottosaythatheisthetallestoflivingDiplomatists；anotheruniquecircumstance！——Bentenriedersoondied；andhadhisplaceatSoissonsfilledupbyanExcellenzoftheordinaryheight，whohadneverbeenpressed。ButnothingcanrobtheCongressofthisfact，thatitoncehadBentenriederformember；and，sofar，isentitledtothepluperfectdistinctioninoneparticular。
　　AnotherpointishumanlyinterestinginthisCongress；butcannotfullybeinvestigatedforwantofdates。Always，weperceive，accordingtothenewsofitthatreachBerlin，——ofEnglandgoingrightfortheKaiserorgoingwrongforhim，——hisPrussianMajesty’streatmentofhischildrenvaries。IfEnglandgorightfortheKaiser，well，andhisMajestyisingood—humorwithQueen，withCrown—PrinceandWilhelmina。IfEnglandgowrongfortheKaiser，darkcloudsgatherontheroyalbrow，intheroyalheart；
　　explodeinthunder—storms；andatlengthcrockerygoesflyingthroughtherooms，blowsdescendonthepoorPrince’sback；
　　andherMajestyisintears，mereChaoscomeagain。Forasageneralrule，unlesstheEnglishNegotiationhavesomeprosperingfit，andproduceexceptionalphenomena，FriedrichWilhelm，everloyalinheart，standssteadfastbyhisKaiser；everready"tostrikeout（LOSZUSCHLAGEN，"ashecallsit）withhisbeststrengthinbehalfofacausewhich，goodsoul，hethinksisessentiallyGerman；——allthereadierifatanytimeitseemnowexclusivelyGerman，theFrench，Spanish，English，andotherunlovelyForeignworldbeingcleancutloosefromit，orevenstandingrankedagainstit。"Whenwillitgooff，then（WANNGEHT
　　ESLOS）？"asksFriedrichWilhelmoften；diligentlydrillinghissixtythousand，andsnortingcontempton"Ungermanism（UNDEUTSCHHEIT），"beitonthepartoffriendsorofenemies。
　　Goodsoul，andwhetherhewillevergetJulichaudBergoutofit，isdistractinglyproblematical，andtheTobacco—Parliamentisbusywithhim！
　　Curioustosee，sofarasdatesgo，howFriedrichWilhelmchangeshistunetoWifeandChildreninexactcorrespondencetothenotesgivenoutatSoissonsforaKaiserandhisPragmaticSanction。
　　PoorPrussianHousehold，poorback，andheart，ofCrown—Prince；
　　whataconcertitisinthisworld，SmokingParliamentforsouffleur！LetthebigDiplomatistBassoonoftheUniversegothisway，therearecaressesforayoungSoldierandhisbehaviorinthegiantregiment；letthesameBassoonsoundthatway，bangsandknocksdescendonhim；thetwokeeptimetogether，——sobusyistheSmokingParliamentwithhisMajestyofPrussia。Theworldhasseen，withhorrorandwonder，FriedrichWilhelm’sbeatingofhisgrownchildren:butthepairofMEERKATZEN，orenchantedDemon—Apes，disguisedasloyalCouncillors，ridingalongwithhimthelengthofaTerrestrialEquator，havenotbeensofamiliartotheworld。Seckendorf，Grumkow:wehadoftenheardofDevil—Diplomatists；andshudderedoverhorriblepicturesoftheminNovels；hopingitwasallfancy:buthereactuallyisapairofthem，transcendingallNovels；——perhapsthehighestcognizablefacttobemetwithinDevil—Diplomacy。Anditmaybeakindofcomforttoreaders，bothtoknowit，andtodiscerngraduallywhatthejustgodsmakeofitwithal。Devil—Diplomatistsdoexist，atleasthaveexisted，neverdoubtitfarther；andtheirastonishinglydexterousmendacitiesandenchantedspider—webs，——
　　CANthesegoanyroadbutoneinthisUniverse？
　　ThattheCongressofCambraiwasnotamyth，weconvincedourselvesbyaletterofVoltaire’s，whoactuallysawitdiningthereintheYear1722，ashepassedthatway。Here，forSoissons，inlikemanner，aretwoLetters，byalesscelebratedbutastillknownEnglishhand；which，asutterancesinpresenceofthefactitself，leavenodoubtonthesubject。Thesetheafflictedreaderwillperhapsconsenttotakeaglanceof。IftheCongressofSoissons，forthesakeofmemorableobjectsconcernedthere，isstilltoberemembered，andbelievedin，foralittlewhile，——thequestionarises，Howtodoit，then？
　　ThewriteroftheseLettersisaserious，ratherlong—nosedyoungEnglishgentleman，notwithoutintelligence，andofawholesomeandhonestnature；whobecameLordLyttelton，FIRSTofthoseLords，calledalso"theGoodLord，"fatherof"theBad:"alinealdescendantofthatLytteltonUPONwhomCokesits，orseemstosit，tilltheendofthings:authorbyandbyofaHistoryofHenrytheSecondandotherwell—meantbooks:amanofrealworth，whoattainedtosomenoteintheworld。HeisnowupontheGrandTour，——whichran，atthattime，byLunevilleandLorraine，aswouldappear；atwhichpointweshallfirsttakehimup。HewritestohisFather，SirThomas，atHagleyamongthepleasantHillsofWorcestershire，——dateshortlyaftertheassemblingofthatCongresstorearofhim；——andwestrivetoaddaminimumofcommentary。The"pieceofnegligence，"the"Mr。D。，"
　　——noneofmortalsnowknowswhoorwhattheywere:——
　　TOSIRTHOMASLYTTELTON，BART。，ATHAGLEY。
　　"LUNEVILLE21stJuly"1728。
　　"DEARSIR，——IthankyouforsokindlyforgivingthepieceofnegligenceIacquaintedyouofinmylast。Youngfellowsareoftenguiltyofvoluntaryforgetfulnessinthoseaffairs；butIassureyouminewasquiteaccidental:"——Nevermindit，mySon！
　　"Mr。D。tellsyoutruethatIamwearyoflosingmoneyatcards；
　　butitisnolesscertainthatwithoutthemIshallsoonbewearyofLorraine。Thespiritofquadrille[obsoletegameatcards]haspossessedthelandfrommorningtillmidnight；thereisnothingelseineveryhouseinTown。
　　"ThisCourtisfondofstrangers，butwithaprovisothatstrangerslovequadrille。WouldyouwintheheartsoftheMaidsofHonor，youmustloseyourmoneyatquadrille；wouldyoubethoughtawell—bredman，youmustplaygenteellyatquadrille；wouldyougetareputationofgoodsense，showjudgmentatquadrille。
　　Howeverinsummeronemaypassadaywithoutquadrille；becausethereareagreeablepromenades，andlittlepartiesoutofdoors。
　　Butinwinteryouarereducedtoplayatit，orsleep，likeafly，tillthereturnofspring。
　　"IndeedinthemorningtheDukehunts，"——markthatDuke，andtwoSonshehas。"Butmymaliciousstarshavesocontrivedit，thatI
　　amnomoreasportsmanthanagamester。TherearenomenoflearninginthewholeCountry；onthecontrary，itisacharactertheydespise。Amanofqualitycaughtme，theotherday，readingaLatinAuthor；andaskedme，withanairofcontempt，WhetherIwasdesignedfortheChurch？AllthiswouldbetolerableifIwasnotdoomedtoconversewithasetofEnglish，whoarestillmoreignorantthantheFrench；andfromwhom，withmyutmostendeavors，Icannotbeabsentsixhoursintheday。Lord"BLANK——Baltimore，orHeaven—knows—who，——"istheonlyoneamongthemwhohascommonsense；andheissoscandalouslydebauched，inhisprinciplesaswellaspractice，thathisconversationisequallyshockingtomymoralsandmyreason。"——Couldnotonecontrivetogetawayfromthem；toSoissons，forexample，toseebusinessgoingon；andtheTerrestrialBalancesettlingitselfalittle？
　　"MyonlyimprovementhereisinthecompanyoftheDuke，"whoisatrulydistinguishedDuketohisbadCountry；"andintheexerciseoftheAcademy，"——ofHorsemanship，orwhat？"Ihavebeenabsentfromthelatternearthreeweeks，byreasonofasprainIgotinthesinewsofmyleg。MydutytomydearMother；Ihopeyouandshecontinuewell。Iam，Sir，yourdutifulSon。——G。L。"
　　[TheWorksofLordGeorgeLyttelton，byAyscough（London，1776），iii。215。]
　　ThesepoorLorrainersareinabadway；theirCountryalltrampledtopiecesbyFrance，intheLouis—Fourteenthandstillearliertimes。Indeed，eversincethefutileSiegeofMetz；wherewesawthegreatKaiser，KarlV。，silentlyweepingbecausehecouldnotrecaptureMetz，[Antea，vol。v。p。211。]theFrenchhavebeenbusywiththispoorCountry；——newsectionsofitcliptawaybythem；
　　"militaryroadsthroughit，tenmilesbroad，"bargainedfor；
　　itsDukesoftenestinexile，especiallytheFatherofthispresentDuke:[AfamedSoldierinhisday；underKaiserLeopold，"thelittleKaiserinredstockings，"oneofwhoseDaughtershehadtowife。HewasattheRescueofVienna（Sobieski’s），andinhowmanyfarfiercerservices；hislifewasbutabattleandamarch。
　　HereishisfamedLettertotheKaiser，whendeathsuddenlycalled，Halt！
　　"WELSNEARLINZONTHEDONAU，17thApril，1690。
　　"SACREDMAJESTY，——AccordingtoyourOrders，IsetoutfromInnsprucktocometoVienna；butIamstoppedherebyaGreaterMaster。IgotorenderaccounttoHimofalifewhichIhadwhollyconsecratedtoyou。RememberthatIleaveaWifewithwhomyouareconcerned[QUIROUSTOUCHE，——whoisyourlawfulDaughter]；
　　ChildrentowhomIcanbequeathnothingbutmysword；andSubjectswhoareunderOppression。
　　"CHARLESOFLORRAINE。"
　　（Henault，AbregeChronologique，Paris，1775，p。850）。——Charles"V。"theFrenchuniformlycallthisone；
　　Charles"IV。"theGermans，who，Iconclude，knowbetter。]——andtheyarenowwaitingagoodopportunitytoswallowitwhole，whilethepeoplearesobusywithquadrilleparties。ThepresentDuke，returningfromexile，foundhisLandindesolation，muchofit"runningfasttowildforestagain；"andhehassignalizedhimselfbyunweariedeffortsineverydirectiontoputnewlifeintoit，whichhavebeenrathersuccessful。Lyttelton，weperceive，findsimprovementinhiscompany。ThenameofthisbraveDukeisLeopold；agenowforty—nine；lifeandreignnotfarfromdone:
　　amanaboutwhomevenVoltairegetsintoenthusiasm。[SiecledeLouisXIV。（OEuvres，xxvi。95—97）；Hubner，t。281。]
　　TheCourtandCountryofLorraine，underDukeLeopold，willprovetodeservethisbriefglancefromLytteltonandus。TwosonsDukeLeopoldhas:theelder，Franz，nowabouttwenty，isatVienna，withthehighestoutlooksthere:KaiserKarlishisFather’scousin—german；andKaiserKarl’syoungDaughter，highbeautifulMariaTheresa，——thesublimestmaidennowextant，——yes，thisluckyFranzistohaveher:whataprize，evenwithoutPragmaticSanction！Withtheyoungerson，KarlofLorraine，Lytteltonmayhavemadeacquaintance，ifhecared:aladofsixteen；byandbyanAustrianGeneral，ashisfatherhadbeen；Generalmuchnoisedof，——whomweshalloftenseebeaten，inthisworld，attheheadofmen。——ButletusnowgettoSoissonsitself，skippinganintermediateLetterortwo:——
　　TOSIRTHOMASLYTTELTON，BART。，ATHAGLEY。
　　"SOISSONS，28thOctober，"1728。
　　"Ithankyou，mydearSir，forcomplyingsomuchwithmyinclinationsastoletmestaysometimeatSoissons:butasyouhavenotfixedhowlong，Iwaitforfartherorders。
　　"OneofmychiefreasonsfordislikingLunevillewasthemultitudeofEnglishthere；who，mostofthem，weresuchworthlessfellowsthattheywereadishonortothenameandNation。WiththeseIwasobligedtodineandsup，andpassagreatpartofmytime。YoumaybesureIavoideditasmuchaspossible；butMALGREMOII
　　sufferedagreatdeal。Topreventanycomfortfromotherpeople，theyhadmadealawamongthemselves，nottoadmitanyforeignerintotheircompany:sothattherewasnothingbutEnglishtalkedfromJunetoJanuary。——Onthecontrary，mycountrymenatSoissonsaremenofvirtueandgoodsense；theymixperpetuallywiththeFrench，andconverseforthemostpartinthatlanguage。Iwilltroubleyounomoreuponthissubject:butgivemeleavetosaythat，howevercapriciousImayhavebeenonothersubjects，mysentimentsinthisparticulararethestrongestproofsIevergaveyouofmystrongandhereditaryaversiontoviceandfolly。
　　"Mr。Stanhope，"ourMinister，theColonelorBrigadier—General，"isalwaysatFontainebleau。IwentwithMr。Poyntz，"Poyntznotyetadimfigure，butabrilliant，whohintsaboutemployingme，"toParisforfourdays，whentheColonelhimselfwasthere，tomeethim；hereceivedmewithgreatcivilityandkindness。WehavedoneexpectingMr。Walpole，"fixedheintheCourtregions；
　　"whoisobligedtokeepstrictguardovertheCardinal，"slyoldFleury，"forfeartheGermanMinistersshouldtakehimfromus。
　　Theypullandhaulthepooroldgentlemansomanyways，thathedoesnotknowwheretoturn，orintowhosearmstothrowhimself。"
　　Neverfearhim！——
　　"Ripperda’sescapetoEngland，"——grandDiplomaticbulldogthatwas，whotookrefugeinColonelStanhope’satMadridtonopurpose，andkindledthesputteringatGibraltar，isnowgotacrosstoEngland，andwillgotoMoroccoandfarther，tonopurpose，——"willverymuchembroilaffairs；whichdidnotseemtowantanotherobstacletohinderthemfromcomingtoanaccommodation。IftheDevilisnotverymuchwantingtohisowninterestsinthisBusiness，itisimpossiblethatthegoodworkofPeace，shouldgoonmuchlonger。Afterall，mostyoungfellowsareofhisparty；andwishhemaybringmatterstoaWar；fortheymakebutillMinistersataCongress，butwouldmakegoodSoldiersinaCampaign。
　　"NonewsfromMadam"BLANK"andherbelovedHusband。
　　Theirunreasonablefondnessforeachothercanneverlast:
　　theywillsoongrowascoldtooneanotherastheTowntoTheBeggars’Opera。"Andcannotwarmagain，youthink？"PrayHeavenImayproveafalseprophet；butMarriedLoveandEnglishMusicaretoodomestictocontinuelonginfavor。"……
　　NOVEMBER20th，SOISSONSstill。"ThisisoneoftheagreeablestTownsinFrance。Thepeopleareinfinitelyobligingtostrangers:
　　weareofalltheirparties，andperpetuallysharewiththemintheirpleasures。IhavelearntmoreFrenchsinceIcamehither，thanIshouldhavepickedupinatwelvemonthinLorraine……
　　"Afoolwithamajorityonhissideisthegreatesttyrantintheworld:"——howcanIgobacktoloiterinLorraine，honoredFather，wherefoolsareinsuchmajority？"ThentheextraordinarycivilitiesIreceivefromMr。Poyntz:Hehasinamannertakenmeintohisfamily；"willevidentlymakeanApprenticeofme。
　　"ThefirstPacketthatcomesfromFontainebleau，Iexpecttobeemployed。Whichisnosmallpleasuretome:andwillIhopebeofservice。"……
　　DECEMBER20th。"AsuddenordertoMr。Poyntzhasbrokenallmymeasures。Hegoesto—morrowtoParis，tostaythereintheroomofMessrs。StanhopeandWalpole，whoareontheirreturnforEngland。"Congressfallingintocompletelanguor，ifweknewit！
　　ButoughtnotItoaccompanythisfriendlyanddistinguishedMr。Poyntz，"whohasalreadygivenmepaperstocopy；"——infactI
　　amsettingoffwithhim，honoredFather！……
　　"PrinceFrederick’sjourney，"——firstarrivalinEnglandofdissoluteFredfromHanover，whohadNOTbeentoBerlintogetmarriedlastsummer，——"wasverysecret:Mr。PoyntzdidnothearofittillFridaylast；atleasthehadnopublicnoticeofit。"
　　Whyshouldhe？"Therewillbefinestrugglingforplaces"inthisPrince’snewHousehold。"IhopemyBrotherwillcomeinforone。"
　　[Ayscough’sLyttelton，iii。200—231。]——
　　ButherewepullthestringofthecurtainuponLyttelton，anduponhisCongressfallingintocompletelanguor；Congressdestined，afterdiningforaboutayearmore，toexplode，intheTreatyofSeville，andtoleavetheKaisersittinghorror—struck，solitaryamidthewreckofPoliticalNature，——whichlatter，however，piecesitselftogetheragainforhimandothers。
　　BeneficentTreatyofViennawasatlastachieved；TreatyandTreatiesthere，whichbroughtmatterstotheiroldbearingagain，——AustriaunitedwiththeSea—Powers，PragmaticSanctionacceptedbythem，subsidiesagaintobeexpectedfromthem；BabyCarlosfittedwithhisApanages，insometolerablemanner；andtheProblem，withwhichCreationhadgroanedforsometwentyyearspast，finallyaccomplishedbetterorworse。
　　LytteltonhimselfwillgetaplaceinPrinceFrederick’sHousehold，andthenloseit；placeinMajesty’sMinistryatlast，butnotforalongwhileyet。HewillbeoneofPrinceFrederick’smen，oftheCarterets，Chesterfields，Pitts，who"patronizeliterature，"andareinoppositiontodarkWalpole；oneofthe"West—Wickhamset；"——andwillbeoftheOppositionparty，andhavehisadventuresintheworld。MeanwhilelethimgotoPariswithMr。Poyntz；anddohiswisestthereandelsewhere。
　　"Who’sdatwhorideastridedepony，Solong，solean，solankandbony？
　　Oh，hebedegreatorator，Little—ton—y。"
　　[Caricatureof1741，onLyttelton’sgettingintotheMinistry，withCarteret，Chesterfield，Argyll，andtherest:
　　seePhillimore’sLyttelton（London，l845），i。110；Johnson’sLivesofthePoets，？Lyttelton；&c。&c。]
　　FornowweareroundatFriedrichWilhelm’sPomeranianHuntingagain，intheNew—year’stimeof1729；andmustlookagainintothemagnanimoussick—roomwhichensuedthereon；whereasmallpieceofbusinessisgoingforward。WhatamagnanimouspatientFriedrichWilhelmwas，inFassmann’sjudgment，weknow:but，itwillbegoodtoshowbothsidesofthetapestry，andletWilhelminaalsospeak。Thesmallbusinessisonly，aTreatyofMarriageforoneofourPrincesses:notWilhelmina，butLouisathenextyounger，whohasbeenasked，andwillconsent，asappears。
　　Fassmannmakesaverytouchingsceneofit。Kingisinbed，illofhisgoutafterthatslaughterofthe3，602wildswine:attendantsaresittingroundhisMajesty，inthewayweknow；QueenSophieathishead，"Seckendorfandseveralothers"roundthebed。
　　Lettersarrive；PrincessFrederikaLouisa，averyyoungLady，hasalsohadaLetter；which，sheseesbytheseal，willbeinteresting，butwhichshemustnotherselfopen。Shestepsinwithit；"beautifulasanangel，butratherfoolish，andaspoiltchildoffifteen，"saysWilhelmina:tripssoftlyinwithit；
　　handsittotheKing。"GiveittothyMother，letherreadit，"
　　saystheKing。Motherreadsit，withaudiblesoftvoice:
　　FormaldemandinmarriagefromtheSerenityofAnspach，asforeseen。
　　"Hearken，Louisa（HORE，LUISE），itisstilltime，"saidtheKing:
　　"Tellus，wouldstthourathergotoAnspach，now，orstaywithme？
　　Ifthouchoosetostay，thoushaltwant，fornothing，either，totheendofthylife。Speak！"——"Atsuchunexpectedquestion，"saysFassmann，"thereroseafineblushoverthePrincess’sface，whoseemedtobeatalossforheranswer。However，shesooncollectedherself；kissedhisMajesty’shand，andsaid:’MostgraciousPapa，IwilltoAnspach！’TowhichtheKing:’Verywell，then；Godgivetheeallhappinessandthousandblessings！——But，hearken，Louisa，’
　　theKing’sMajestywaspleasedatthesametimetoadd，’Wewillmakeabargain，thouandI。Youhaveexcellent，FlouratAnspach（SCHONESMEHL）；butinHamsandSmokedSausagesyoudon’t，comeup，eitherinqualityorquantity，tousinthisCountry。NowI，formypart，likegoodpastries。So，fromtimetotime，thoushaltsendmeaboxofniceflour，andIwillkeeptheeinhamsandsausages。Wiltthou，Louisa？’ThatthePrincessansweredYea，"
　　sayspoorFassmannwiththetearinhiseye，"mayreadilybesupposed！"Nayallthatheardthethingroundtheroyalbedthere——simplehumanitiesofthatkindfromsogreat，aKing——hadalmostoraltogethertearsintheireyes。[Fassmann，pp。393，394。]
　　Thissurelyisaverytouchingscene。ButnowlistentoWilhelmina’saccountofanotheronthesamesubject，betweenthesameparties。"Attable；"nodateindicated，orawrongone，butevidentlyafterthis:infact，wefinditwasaboutthebeginningofMarch，1729；andhadsadconsequencesforWilhelmina。
　　"AttablehisMajestytoldtheQueenthathehadLettersfromAnspach；theyoungMargraftobeatBerlininMayforhiswedding；
　　thatM。BremerhisTutorwasjustcomingwiththeringofbetrothalforLouisa。HeaskedmySister，Ifthatgaveherpleasure？andHowshewouldregulateherhousekeepingwhenmarried？MySisterhadgotintothewayoftellinghimwhatevershethought，andhome—truthssometimes，withouthistakingitill。
　　Sheansweredwithhercustomaryfrankness，Thatshewouldhaveagoodtable，whichshouldbedelicatelyserved；and，addedshe，’whichshallbebetterthanyours。AndifIhavechildren，Iwillnotmaltreatthemlikeyou，norforcethemtoeatwhattheyhaveanaversionto。’——’Whatdoyoumeanbythat？’repliedtheKing:
　　’whatistherewantingatmytable？’——’Thereisthiswanting，’shesaid，’thatonecannothaveenough；andthelittlethereisconsistsofcoarsepotherbsthatnobodycaneat。’TheKing，"aswasnotunnatural，"hadbeguntogetangryatherfirstanswer:
　　thislastputhimquiteinafury；butallhisangerfellonmyBrotherandme。HefirstthrewaplateatmyBrother’shead，whoduckedoutoftheway；hethenletflyanotheratme，whichI
　　avoidedinlikemanner。Ahail—stormofabusefollowedthesefirsthostilities。HeroseintoapassionagainsttheQueen；reproachingherwiththebadtrainingshegaveherchildren；and，addressingmyBrother:’YouhavereasontocurseyourMother，’saidhe，’foritisshethatcausesyourbeinganill—governedfellow（UNMAL
　　GOUVERNE）。IhadaPreceptor，’continuedhe，’whowasanhonestman。Irememberalwaysastoryhetoldmeinmyyouth。Therewasaman，atCarthage，whohadbeencondemnedtodieformanycrimeshehadcommitted。Whiletheywereleadinghimtoexecution，hedesiredhemightspeaktohisMother。TheybroughthisMother:
　　hecamenear，asiftowhispersomethingtoher；——andbitawayapieceofherear。Itreatyouthus，saidhe，tomakeyouanexampletoallparentswhotakenoheedtobringuptheirchildreninthepracticeofvirtue！——Maketheapplication，’continuedhe，alwaysaddressingmyBrother:andgettingnoanswerfromhim，heagainsettoabusingustillhecouldspeaknolonger。Werosefromtable。Aswehadtopassnearhimingoingout，heaimedagreatblowatmewithhiscrutch；which，ifIhadnotjerkedawayfromit，wouldhaveendedme。Hechasedmeforawhileinhiswheel—chair，butthepeopledrawingitgavemetimetoescapeintotheQueen’schamber。"[Wilhelmina，i。159。]
　　PoorWilhelmina，beatenuponbyPapainthismanner，takestobedinmiserablefeverishpain，isorderedoutbyMammatoeveningparty，allthesame；isevidentlyfallingveryill。"Ill？Iwillcureyou！"saysPapanextday，andmakesherswallowagreatdraughtofwine。Whichcompletesthething:"declaredsmall—pox，"
　　sayalltheDoctorsnow。SothatWilhelminaisabsentthenceforth，asFassmannalreadytoldus，fromthemagnanimouspaternalsick—room；andliesbalefullyeclipsed，tillthepaternalgoutandsomeotherthingshaveruntheircourse。"Small—pox；whatwillPrinceFredthink？Aperfectfright，ifshedolive！"saytheEnglishCourt—gossipsintheinterim。ButwearenowarrivedataverysingularPrussian—Englishphenomenon；andoughttotakeanewChapter。
　　ChapterVI。
　　IMMINENCYOFWARORDUELBETWEENTHEBRITANNICANDPRUSSIANMAJESTIES。
　　TheDouble—Marriagenegotiationhungfire，intheendof1728；
　　buteverybodythought，especiallyQueenSophiethought，itwouldcometoperfection；oldIlgen，almostthelastthinghedid，shedtearsofjoyaboutit。ThesefineoutlooksreceivedasadshockintheYearnowcome；whensecretgrudgesburstoutintoopenflame；
　　andBerlin，insteadofscenicsplendorsforaPolishMajesty，wasclangorouswithnoteofpreparationforimminentWar。
　　ProbablyQueenSophieneverhadamoreagitatedSummerthanthisof1729。Wearenowarrivedatthatthrice—famousQuarrel，oralmostDuel，ofFriedrichWilhelmandhisBritannicBrother—in—lawlittleGeorgeII。；andmusttrytoriddlefromthosedistractedPaper—massessomenoticeofit，notwhollyunintelligibletothereader。Itisloudlytalkedof，loudly，butalasalsolooselytoadegree，inallmannerofdullBooks；andisatoncethrice—famousandextremelyobscure。Thefactis，Natureintendeditforeternaloblivion；——andthat，sureenough，wouldhavebeenitsfatelongsince，hadnotpersonswhowerethenthoughttobeofnoimportance，butarenowseentobeofsome，stoodconnectedwithitmoreorless。
　　FriedrichWilhelm，forhisownpart，hadseeninthedeathofGeorgeI。anevilomenfromtheEnglishquarter；andallalong，inspiteoftransientappearancestothecontrary，hadsaidtohimself，"IftheFirstGeorge，withhissolemnitiesandtacitsublimities，wasoffensivenowandthen，whatwilltheSecondGeorgebe？TheSecondGeorgehasbeenanoffencefromthebeginning！"InwhichnotionstheSmokingParliament，vitallyinterestedtodoit，intheseperilousSoissonstimes，bigwiththefateoftheEmpireandUniverse，isassiduoustoconfirmhisMajesty。TheSmokingParliament，atPotsdam，atBerlin，inthesolitudesofWusterhausen，hasbeenbusy；andmuchtobacco，muchmeditationandinsinuationhavegoneup，incloudsmoreabstrusethanever，sincethedeathofGeorgeI。
　　Itiscertain，GeorgeII。wasaproudlittlefellow；veryhighandairyinhisways；notatallthemantoFriedrichWilhelm’sheart，norreciprocally。Amanofsomeworth，too；"scrupulouslykepthisword，"saythewitnesses:amanalwaysconscioustohimself，"AmnotIamanofhonor，then？"toapunctiliousdegree。Fortherest，courageousasaWelf；andhadsomesensewithal，——thoughtrulynotmuch，andindeed，asitwere，noneatallincomparisontowhathesupposedhehad！——OnecanfancytheaversionofthelittledapperRoyaltytothisheavy—footedPrussianBarbarian，andthePrussianBarbarian’stohim。Thebloodynoseinchildhoodwasbutasymbolofwhatpassedthroughlife。Inreturnforhisbloodynose，littleGeorge，fiveyearstheelder，hadcarriedoffCarolineofAnspach；andleftFriedrichWilhelmsorrowing，aneglectedcub，——poorhonestBeasttragicallyshornofhisBeauty。
　　Offencescouldnotfail；thesetwoCousinswentonoffendingoneanotherbythemereactoflivingsimultaneously。Anaturalhostility，thatbetweenGeorgeII。andFriedrichWilhelm；anteriortoCarolineofAnspach，andindependentofthecollisionsofinterestthatmightfalloutbetweenthem。Enmityasbetweenaglancingself—satisfiedfop，andaloutishthick—soledmanofparts，whofeelshimselfthebetterthoughthelesssuccessful。
　　House—Mastiffseeingitselfneglected，driventoitshutch，foratricksyApedressedoutinribbons，whogetsfavorinthedrawing—room。
　　George，IperceivebytheveryState—Papers，GeorgeandhisEnglishLordshaveaprovokingslightingtonetowardsFriedrichWilhelm；theyanswerhisviolentconvictions，andthoroughgoingrapidproposals，bybriefofficialnegation，withanairofsuperiority，——tracesof，apolitesneerperceptible，occasionally。
　　AmereClownofaKing，thinksGeorge；ameregesticulatingCoxcomb，thinksFriedrichWilhelm。"MEINBRUDERDERCOMODIANT，MyBrotherthePlay—actor"（parti—coloredMerry—Andrew，ofahigh—flyingturn）！wasFriedrichWilhelm’sprivatenameforhim，inafterdays。WhichGeorgerepaidbyoneequaltoit，"MyBrothertheHead—BeadleoftheHolyRomanEmpire，"——"ERZ—SANDSTREUER，"whosolemnlybringsuptheSANDBOX（noblotting—paperyetinuse）whentheHolyRomanEmpireispleasedtowrite。"ERZ—SANDSTREUER，Arch—Sandbox—BeadleoftheHEILIGEROMISCHEREICH；"itisalumberingnickname，butintrinsicallynotwithoutfelicity，andthewittiestthingIknowoflittleGeorge。
　　Specialcauseofquarreltheyhadnonethatwasoftheleastsignificance；and，atthistime，prudentfriendswerestrivingtounitethemcloserandcloser，asthetruepolicyforboth；
　　EnglishTownshendhimselfratherwishingit，asthebestPrussianOfficialseagerlydid；QueenSophiepassionateforit；andonlyapurchasedGrumkow，aSeckendorfandtheTobacco—Parliamentsetagainstit。TheTreatyofWusterhausenwasnotknown；butthefactofsomeTreatymadeormaking，someImperialnegotiationalwaysgoingon，wastooevident；andFriedrichWilhelm’spartialitiestotheKaiserandhisSeckendorfcouldbeasecretnowhere。
　　Negotiationalwaysgoingon，wesay；forsuchindeedwasthecase，——theKaiserstrivingalwaystobelooseagain（havingexcellentreasons，asecretbargaintothecontrary，towit！）inregardtothatJulich—and—BergSuccession；proposing"substitutesforJulichandBerg；"andFriedrichWilhelmrefusingtoacceptanyimaginablesubstitute，anythingbutthearticleitself。Sothat，Ibelieve，theTreatyofWusterhausenwasneverperfectlyratified，afterall；buthung，forsomanyyears，alwaysonthepointofbeingso。ThesearetheusesofyourpurchasedGrumkow，andofridingthelengthofaTerrestrialEquatorkeepingaMajestyincompany。If，byaDouble—MarriagewithEngland，thatintricatewebofchicaneryhadbeenoncefairlyslitintwo，andnewcombinationsformed，onabasisnotoffast—and—loose，couldithavebeenofdisadvantagetoeitheroftheCountries，ortoeitheroftheirKings？——Realandgravecausesforagreementwefind；realorgravecausesforquarrelnoneanywhere。Butlightorimaginarycauses，whichbecameatlasteffectual，canbeenumerated，tothelengthofthreeorfour。
　　CAUSEFIRST:THEHANOVERJOINT—HERITAGES，WHICHARENOTINALIQUIDSTATE。
　　FIRST，the"AhldenHeritage"wasonecauseofdisagreement，whichlastedlong。ThepoorMotherofGeorgeII。andofQueenSophiehadleftconsiderableproperties；"threemillionTHALERS，"thatis900，000pounds，saysome；butallwasratherinanunliquidstate，notsomuchasherWillwastobehad。TheWill，witha10，000
　　poundsorso，wasinthehandsofacertainGrafvonBar，oneofherconfidantsinthatsadimprisonment:"moneylenthim，"
　　Buschingsays，[BeitragezurLebensgeschichtedenkwurdigerPersonen（Halle，1783—l789），i。306，？NUSSLER。SomedistractedfractionsofBusinessCorrespondencewiththisBar，inMemoirsofSophiaDorothea，——unintelligibleasusualthere。]"tosetupaWax—BleacheryatCassel:"——andthesaidCountvonBarwasoffwithit，TestamentaryPaperandall；gonetotheREICHSHOFRATHatVienna，supremeJudges，intheEmpire，ofsuchmatters。
　　Whoaccordinglyissuedhima"Protection，"tostartwith:sothatwhentheHanoverpeopleattemptedtolayholdofthequestionablewax—bleachingCount，atFrankfurt—on—Mayn，——secretlysending"alieutenantandtwelvemen"forthatobject，——heproducechisProtectionPaper，andthelieutenantandtwelvemenhadtohastenhomeagain。[Ibid。]CountvonBarhadtobetriedatlaw，——neveraskwithwhatresults；——andthisitselfwasalongstory。ThenastotheotherpropertiesofthepoorDuchess，questionarises，AretheyALLODIA，oraretheyFEUDA，——thatistosay，shalltheSonhavethem，ortheDaughter？Inshort，therewasnoendtoquestions。FriedrichWilhelmhasanEnvoyatHanover，oneKannegiesser，laboringatHauover，thesecondofsuchhehasbeenobligedtosend；whofindsplentyofemploymentinthatmatter。
　　"MyBrothertheCOMODIANTquietlyputhisFather’sWillinhispocket，Ihaveheard；andpaidnoregardtoit（exceptwhathewascompelledtopay，byChesterfieldandothers）:willhedothelikewithhispoorMother’sWill？"Patience，yourMajesty:heisnotacovetousman，butaself—willedandaproud，——alwaysconscioustohimselfthatheisthesoulofhonor，thispoorBrotherKing！
　　Naywithal，beforethesetestamentarybickeringsaresettled，herehasanewJoint—Heritagefallen:onwhichmayrisediscussions。
　　PoorUncleErnstofOsnabruck——towhomGeorgeI。，chasedbyDeath，wentgallopingforshelterthatnight，andwhocouldonlyweepoverhispoorBrotherdead——hasnotsurvivedhimmanymonths。
　　TheyoungestBrotherofthelotisnowgonetoo。ElectressSophie’sSevenarenowallgone。Shehadsixsons:fourbecameAustriansoldiers，threeofwhomperishedinwarlongsince；
　　theotherthree，theBishop，theKing，theeldestoftheSoldiers，havealldiedwithintwoyears（1726—1728）:[Michaelis，i。153。
　　SeeFeder，KurfurstinnSophie；Hoppe，GeschichtederStadtHannover；&c。]SophieCharlotte，"RepublicanQueen"ofPrussia，FriedrichWilhelm’sMother，whomweknewlongsince，wastheoneDaughter。HeralsoUncleErnstsawdie，inhisyouth，aswemayremember。Theyarealldead。AndnowtheHeritagesaretosettle，atleasttherecentpartofthem。LetKannegiesserkeephiseyesopen。Kannegiesserisanexperthigh—manneredman；butsaidtobesubjecttosharpnessoftemper；andnotinthebestfavorwiththeHanoverpeople。
　　ThatisCauseFIRST。
　　CAUSESECOND:THETROUBLESOFMECKLENBURG。
　　Then，secondly，thereisthebusinessofMecklenburg；deplorableBusinessforMecklenburg，andforeverybodywithinwindofit，——
　　mypoorreadersincluded。Readersremember——whatreadercaneverforget？——thatextraordinaryDukeofMecklenburg，the"UniqueofHusbands，"aswehadtocallhim，whocamEwithhisextraordinaryDuchess，towaitonherUnclePeter，theRussian（sayratherSAMOEIDIC）Czar，atMagdeburg，adozenyearsago？Wefeareditwasinthefateswemightmeetthatmanagain；andsoitturnsout！
　　TheUniqueofHusbandshasprovedalsotobetheunluckiestofMisgoverningDukesinhisEpoch；andspreadsmeretroubleallroundhim。Mecklenburgisinabadway，thislongwhile，especiallythesetenyearspast。"OwingtotheCharles—TwelfthWars，"orwhateveritwasowingto，thisunluckyDukehadfallenintowantofmoremoney；andimpoverishedMecklenburgallegedthatitwasinnoconditiontopaymore。Almostonhisaccession，whilethetar—barrelswerestillblazing，yearsbeforeweeversawhim，hedemandednewsubventionfromhisRITTERS（the"Squires"oftheCountry）；subventionnewinMecklenburg，thoughcommoninothersovereignGermanStates，andatonetimeinMecklenburgtoo。
　　TheRitterswouldnotpay；theDukewouldcompelthem:
　　RittersappealtoKaiserinReichshofrath，whoprovesfavorabletotheRitters。DukestilldeclinesobeyingKaiser；assertsthat"heishimselfinsuchmatterthesovereign:"Kaiserfulminateswhatofrustythunderhehasabouthim；towhichtheDuke，flungonhisbackbyit，stillcontinuescontumaciousinmindandtongue:
　　andsobetweenthunderandcontumacy，asbetweenhammerandstithy，thepoorCountrywrithespainfullyeversince，andisanafflictiontoeverybodynearit。
　　Fortenyearspast，theunluckiestofMisgoverningDukeshasbeeninuttercontroversywithhisRitters；——atlawwiththembeforetheCourtsoftheEmpire，nayoccasionallytryingcertainofthemhimself，andcuttingofftheirheads；gettingRussianregiments，andthenobligedtorenounceRussianregiments；——inshort，averygreattroubletomankindthereabouts。[Michaelis，ii。416—435。]
　　SothattheKaiserinReichshofrath，aboutthedateindicated（Year1719），foundgoodtosendmilitarycoerciononhim；
　　andintrustedthatfunctiontotheHanover—Brunswickpeople，toGeorgeI。moreespecially；towhom，asKREIS—HAUPTMANN"（"CaptainoftheCircle，"CircleofLower—Saxony，wherethecontumacyhadoccurred），suchfunctionnaturallyfell。TheHanoverSovereignty，sending13，000men，horse，footandartilleryintoMecklenburg，soondidtheirfunction，withonlysomeslightflourishesoffightingonthepartofthecontumaciousDuke，——inwhichhischiefCaptain，oneSchwerin，distinguisheshimself:KurtvonSchwerin，whomweshallknowbetterbyandby，forhewentintothePrussianserviceshortlyafter。ColonelvonSchwerindidwellwhatwasinhim；butcouldnotsavearefractoryDuke，againstsuchodds。
　　ThecontumaciousDukewasobligedtoflyhiscountry；——deposed，or，tobeginwith，suspended，aBrotherofhisbeingputinasinterimDuke:——andtheUniqueofHusbandsandparagonofMismanagingDukeslivesaboutDantzigeversince，onaPensionallowedhimbyhisinterimBrother；contumacioustothelast；
　　andstillstirringupstrife，thoughnowwithdiminishedmeans，UnclePeterbeingnowdead，andRussianhelpmuchcutoff。
　　TheHanoverSovereigntiesdidtheirfunctionsoonenough:
　　buttheir"expensesforit，"thesetheyhaveinvaindemandedeversince。NomoneytobegotfromMecklenburg；andMecklenburgowesus"tentonsofgold，"——thatistosay，1，000，000thalers，"tou"
　　beingthetenthpartofamillioninthatcoin。Hanover，therefore，holdspossession——andhasheldeversince，withcompetentsmallmilitaryforce——ofcertainDistrictsinMecklenburg:Taxesofthesewillsubsistoursoldieryintheinterim，andyieldinterest；theprincipaloncepaid，weatoncegivethemup；principal，bytheseschedules，ifyoucaretocountthem，isonemillionthalers（tenTONNENGOLDES，asabovesaid），orabout150，000pounds。Andsoithasstoodfortenyearspast；
　　Mecklenburgthemostanarchicofcountries，owingtothekindofRittersandkindofDukeithas。Poorsouls，itisevidenttheyhavealllosttheirbeatenroad，andgotamongtheIGNESFATUIandpeat—pools:noneknowsthenecessitiesandsorrowsofthispooridleDukehimself！Inhisyoungyears，beforeaccession，heoncetriedsoldiering；servedonecampaignwithCharlesXII。，butwasgladto"returntoHamburg"again，tothepeaceablescenesoffashionablelifethere。[SeeGermanSpy
　　（London，1725，byLediard，BiographerofMarlborough）foralivelypictureofthethenHamburg，——resortofNorthernMoneyedIdleness，aswellasofbetterthings。]ThenhisRussianUniqueofWives:——
　　hisprobableadventures，priorandsubsequent，inUnclePeter’ssphere，canthesehavebeenpleasanttohim？TheangryRitters，too，theircountryhadgotmuchtrampledtopiecesintheCharles—TwelfthWars，StralsundSieges:moneyseemednecessarytotheDuke，andtheRitterswereveryscarceofit。Add，onbothsides，prideandwantofsense，withmutualangergoingonCRESCENDO；andwehavethesadphenomenonnowvisible:ADukefledtoDantzig，anarchicRittersnonethebetterforhisgoing；
　　Dukeperhapsthreateningtoreturn，andmuchflurryinghispoorinterimBrother，andstirringuptheAnarchies:——inbrief，Mecklenburgbecomeahouseonfire，forbehoofofneighborsandself。
　　InthesemiserablebrabblesFriedrichWilhelmdidnothithertoofficiallyinterfere；thoughnotuninterestedinthem；beinganextneighbor，andeven，byknowntreaties，"eventualheir，"
　　shouldtheMecklenburgLinedieout。ButweknowhewasnotinfavorwiththeKaiser，inthoseoldyears；sothemilitarycoercionhadbeendonebyotherhands，andhehadnotsharedinthemanagementatall。Hemerelywatchedthecourseofthings；
　　alwaysadvisedtheDuketosubmittoLaw，andbepeaceable；
　　wassometimesrathersorryforhim，too，aswouldappear。
　　Lastyear，however（1728），——doubtlessitwasoneofSeckendorf’sminormeasures，doneinTobacco—Parliament，——FriedrichWilhelm，nowapetoftheKaiser’s，isdiscoveredtobefairlyconcernedinthatmatter；andisconjoinedwiththeHanover—BrunswickCommissionersforMecklenburg；KaiserspeciallyrequiringthathisPrussianMajestyshall"helpinexecutingImperialOrders"intheneighboringAnarchicCountry。WhichratherhuffedlittleGeorge，——
　　hitherto，since，hisFather’sdeath，theprincipal，orasgoodassoleCommissioner，——ifsobigaBritannicMajestyCOULDbehuffedbypaltryslightsofthatkind！FriedrichWilhelm，whohasmuchmeditatedMecklenburg，strainshisintellect，sometimestoanintensedegree，tofindoutwaysofsettlingit:George，whohasnevercaredtomeditateit，norbeenableifhehad，iscapableofsniffingscornfullyatFriedrichWilhelm’sprojectsonthematter，anddismissingthemasmoonshine。[DubourgayDespatchesandtheAnswerstothem（morethanonce）。]Toawisemuch—meditativeHouse—Mastiff，canthatbepleasant，fromanunthinkingdizenedcreatureoftheApespecies？ThetroublesofMecklenburg，anddiscrepanciesthereupon，arecapableofbecomingaSECONDsourceofquarrel。
　　CAUSESTHIRDANDFOURTH:——ANDCAUSEFIFTH，WORTHALLTHEOTHERS。
　　CauseTHIRDistheoldstoryofrecruiting；astandingcausebetweenPrussiaandallitsneighbors。AndtheFOURTHcauseisthetiniestofall:the"MeadowofClamei。"MeadowofClamei，somesquareyardsofboggyground；which，afterlongstudy，onedoesfindtoexistintheobscurestmanner，discoverableinthebestMapsofGermany，——sometwentymilessouthoftheElberiver，ontheboundarybetweenHanover—LuneburgandPrussia—Magdeburg，dubiousonwhichsideoftheboundary。LonesomeunknownPatchofMeadow，lyingfaramidpeatywildernessesinthoseSalzwedelregions:unknowntoallwritingmortalsasyet；butwhichthreatens，inthissummerof1729，tobecomefamousasRunnymeadamongtheMeadowsofHistory！AndtheFIFTHcause——Inshort，therewasnoreal"cause"oftheleastmagnitude；theeffectwasproducedbythecombinationofmanysmallandimaginaryones。
　　Forifthereisawilltoquarrel，weknowthereisaway。
　　AndperhapstheFIFTHnamablecause，inefficiencyworthalltheotherstogether，mightbefoundintheDebatesoftheSmokingParliamentthatseason，weretheJournalofitsProceedingsextant！Wegathersymptoms，indisputableenough，ofverydiligentelaborationsandinsinuationsthere；andconcludethattohavebeenthereallyeffectivecause。CloudshadrisenbetweenthetwoCourts；butexceptfortheTobacco—Parliament，therenevercouldhavethundercomefromthem。
　　VerysoonafterGeorge’saccessiontherebegancloudstorise；
　　theperfectlyaccomplishedlittleGeorgeassumingasevereandhighairtowardshisrusticBrother—in—Law。"WecannotstandthesePrussianenlistmentsandencroachments；rectifythese，inahighandseveremanner！"saysGeorgetohisHanoverOfficials。
　　Georgeisnotwarmonhisthronetilltherecomesin，accordingly，fromtheHanoverOfficialsaComplainttothateffect，andevenaListofHanoveriansubjectswhoare，owingtovariousinjustices，nowservinginthePrussianranks:"YourPrussianMajestyisrequestedtoreturnusthesemen！"
　　ThisListisdated22dJanuary，1728；Georgeonlyafewmonthsoldinhisnewauthorityasyet。ThePrussianMajestygrumblespainfullyresponsive:"Will，witheagerness，dowhateverisjust；
　　mostsurely！ButishisBritannicMajestyaware？HanoverOfficialsarequitemisinformedastothecircumstances；"——anddoesnotreturnanyofthemen。Merelyapacificgrumble，andnothingdoneinregardtothecomplaints。ThenthereistheMeadowofClameiwhichwespokeof:"ThatbelongstoBrandenburg，yousay？
　　NeverthelessthecontiguouspartsofHanoverhaverightsuponit。
　　Some’eightcart—loadsofhay，’worthsayalmost5poundsor10
　　poundssterling:whoistomowthatgrass，Iwonder？"——