XIII
GladasAgneswaswhenherloverreturnedforlunch,shewasatthesametimeratherdismayed:sheknewthatMrs。Failingwouldnotlikeherplansaltered。Andherdismaywasjustified。Theirhostesswasalittlestiff,andaskedwhetherStephenhadbeenobnoxious。
"Indeedhehasn’t。Hespentthewholetimelookingafterme。"
"FromwhichIconcludehewasmoreobnoxiousthanusual。"
Rickiepraisedhimdiligently。Buthiscandidnatureshowedeverythingthrough。Hisauntsoonsawthattheyhadnotgoton。
Shehadexpectedthis——almostplannedit。Neverthelesssheresentedit,andherresentmentwastofallonhim。
Thestormgatheredslowly,andmanyotherthingswenttoswellit。Weaklypeople,iftheyarenotcareful,hateoneanother,andwhentheweaknessishereditarythetemptationincreases。Elliotshadnevergotonamongthemselves。Theytalkedof"TheFamily,"
buttheyalwaysturnedoutwardstothehealthandbeautythatliesopromiscuouslyabouttheworld。Rickie’sfatherhadturned,foratimeatallevents,tohismother。RickiehimselfwasturningtoAgnes。AndMrs。Failingnowwasirritable,andunfairtothenephewwhowaslamelikeherhorriblebrotherandlikeherself。
Shethoughthiminvertebrateandconventional。Shewasenviousofhishappiness。Shedidnottroubletounderstandhisart。Shelongedtoshatterhim,butknowingasshedidthatthehumanthunderboltoftenreboundsandstrikesthewielder,sheheldherhand。
Agneswatchedtheapproachingclouds。Rickiehadwarnedher;nowshebegantowarnhim。Asthevisitworeawaysheurgedhimtobepleasanttohisaunt,andsoconvertitintoasuccess。
Hereplied,"Whyneeditbeasuccess?"——areplyinthemannerofAnsell。
Shelaughed。"Oh,that’ssolikeyoumen——alltheory!Whataboutyourgreattheoryofhatingnoone?Assoonasitcomesinusefulyoudropit。"
"Idon’thateAuntEmily。Honestly。ButcertainlyIdon’twanttobenearherorthinkabouther。Don’tyouthinktherearetwogreatthingsinlifethatweoughttoaimat——truthandkindness?
Let’shavebothifwecan,butlet’sbesureofhavingoneortheother。Myauntgivesupbothforthesakeofbeingfunny。"
"AndStephenWonham,"pursuedAgnes。"There’sanotherpersonyouhate——ordon’tthinkabout,ifyoupreferitputlikethat。"
"Thetruthis,I’mchanging。I’mbeginningtoseethattheworldhasmanypeopleinitwhodon’tmatter。Ihadtimeforthemonce。
Notnow。"Therewasonlyonegatetothekingdomofheavennow。
Agnessurprisedhimbysaying,"ButtheWonhamboyisevidentlyapartofyouraunt’slife。Shelaughsathim,butsheisfondofhim。"
"What’sthattodowithit?"
"Yououghttobepleasanttohimonaccountofit。"
"Whyonearth?"
Sheflushedalittle。"I’mold—fashioned。Oneoughttoconsiderone’shostess,andfallinwithherlife。Afterweleaveit’sanotherthing。ButwhilewetakeherhospitalityIthinkit’sourduty。"
Hergoodsensetriumphed。HenceforthhetriedtofallinwithAuntEmily’slife。AuntEmilywatchedhimtrying。Thestormbroke,asstormssometimesdo,onSunday。
SundaychurchwasafunctionatCadover,thoughastrangeone。
Thepompouslandaurolleduptothehouseataquartertoeleven。
ThenMrs。Failingsaid,"WhyamIbeinghurried?"andafteranintervaldescendedthestepsinherordinaryclothes。Sheregardedthechurchasasortofsitting—room,andrefusedeventowearabonnetthere。Thevillagewasshocked,butatthesametimealittleproud;itwouldpointoutthecarriagetostrangersandgossipaboutthepalesmilingladywhosatinit,alwaysalone,alwayslate,herhairalwaysdrapedinanexpensiveshawl。
ThisSunday,thoughlateasusual,shewasnotalone。MissPembroke,engrandetoilette,satbyherside。Rickie,lookingplainanddevout,perchedopposite。AndStephenactuallycametoo,murmuringthatitwouldbetheBenedicite,whichhehadneverminded。TherewasalsotheLitany,whichdrovehimintotheairagain,muchtoMrs。Failing’sdelight。Sheenjoyedthissortofthing。ItamusedherwhenherProtegeleftthepew,lookingbored,athletic,anddishevelled,andgropingmostobviouslyforhispipe。Shelikedtokeepathoroughbredpagantoshockpeople。
"He’sgonetoworshipNature,"shewhispered。Rickiedidnotlookup。"Don’tyouthinkhe’scharming?"Hemadenoreply。
"Charming,"whisperedAgnesoverhishead。
Duringthesermonsheanalysedherguests。MissPembroke——
undistinguished,unimaginative,tolerable。Rickie——intolerable。
"Andhowpedantic!"shemused。"HesmellsoftheUniversitylibrary。Ifhewasstupidintherightwayhewouldbeadon。"
Shelookedroundthetinychurch;atthewhitewashedpillars,thehumblepavement,thewindowfullofmagentasaints。Therewasthevicar’swife。AndMrs。Wilbraham’sbonnet。Ugh!Therestofthecongregationwerepoorwomen,withflat,hopelessfaces——shesawthemSundayafterSunday,butdidnotknowtheirnames——
diversifiedwithafewreluctantplough—boys,andthevilelittleschoolchildrenrowuponrow。"Ugh!whatahole,"thoughtMrs。
Failing,whoseChristianitywasthetypebestdescribedas"cathedral。""Whataholeforaculturedwoman!Idon’tthinkithasbluntedmysensations,though;Istillseeitssqualorasclearlyasever。Andmynephewpretendsheisworshipping。Pah!
thehypocrite。"Aboveherthevicarspokeofthedangerofhurryingfromonedissipationtoanother。Shetreasuredhiswords,andcontinued:"Icannotstandsmugness。Itistheone,theunpardonablesin。Freshair!ThefreshairthathasmadeStephenWonhamfreshandcompanionableandstrong。Evenifitkills,Iwillletinthefreshair。"
ThusreasonedMrs。Failing,inthefacileveinofIbsenism。Sheimaginedherselftobeacold—eyedScandinavianheroine。ReallyshewasanEnglisholdlady,whodidnotmindgivingotherpeopleachillprovideditwasnotinfectious。
Agnes,onthewayback,notedthatherhostesswasalittlesnappish。Butoneissohungryaftermorningservice,andeithersohotorsocold,thathewouldbeasaintindeedwhobecomesasaintatonce。Mrs。Failing,afterassertingvindictivelythatitwasimpossibletomakealivingoutofliterature,wascourteouslyleftalone。Roast—beefandmosellemightyetworkmiracles,andAgnesstillhopedfortheintroductions——theintroductionstocertaineditorsandpublishers——onwhichherwholediplomacywasbent。Rickiewouldnotpushhimself。Itwashisbesettingsin。Wellforhimthathewouldhaveawife,andalovingwife,whoknewthevalueofenterprise。
Unfortunatelylunchwasaquarterofanhourlate,andduringthatquarterofanhourtheauntandthenephewquarrelled。Shehadbeeninveighingagainstthemorningservice,andhequietlyanddeliberatelyreplied,"Iforganizedreligionisanything——anditissomethingtome——itwillnotbewreckedbyaharmoniumandadullsermon。"
Mrs。Failingfrowned。"Ienvyyou。Itisagreatthingtohavenosenseofbeauty。"
"IthinkIhaveasenseofbeauty,whichleadsmeastrayifIamnotcareful。"
"Butthisisagreatrelieftome。Ithoughtthepresentdayyoungmanwasanagnostic!Isn’tagnosticismallthethingatCambridge?"
"Nothingisthe’thing’atCambridge。Ifafewmenareagnosticthere,itisforsomegravereason,notbecausetheyareirritatedwiththewaytheparsonsayshisvowels。"
Agnesintervened。"Well,IsidewithAuntEmily。Ibelieveinritual。"
"Don’t,mydear,sidewithme。Hewillonlysayyouhavenosenseofreligioneither。"
"Excuseme,"saidRickie,perhapshetoowasalittlehungry,——"I
neversuggestedsuchathing。Ineverwouldsuggestsuchathing。
Whycannotyouunderstandmyposition?Ialmostfeelitisthatyouwon’t。"
"Itrytounderstandyourpositionnightanddaydear——whatyoumean,whatyoulike,whyyoucametoCadover,andwhyyoustopherewhenmypresenceissoobviouslyunpleasingtoyou。"
"Luncheonisserved,"saidLeighton,buthesaidittoolate。
Theydiscussedthebeefandthemoselleinsilence。Theairwasheavyandominous。EventheWonhamboywasaffectedbyit,shiveredattimes,chokedonce,andhastenedanewintothesun。
Hecouldnotunderstandcleverpeople。
Agnes,inabriefanxiousinterview,advisedtheculprittotakeasolitarywalk。ShewouldstopnearAuntEmily,andpavethewayforanapology。
"Don’tworrytoomuch。Itdoesn’treallymatter。"
"Isupposenot,dear。Butitseemsapity,consideringwearesoneartheendofourvisit。"
"RudenessandGrossnessmatter,andI’veshownboth,andalreadyI’msorry,andIhopeshe’llletmeapologize。Butfromtheselfishpointofviewitdoesn’tmatterastraw。She’snomoretousthantheWonhamboyorthebootboy。"
"Whichwaywillyouwalk?"
"Ithinktothatentrenchment。Lookatit。"Theyweresittingonthesteps。HestretchedouthishandtoCadsburyRings,andthenletitrestforamomentonhershoulder。"You’rechangingme,"
hesaidgently。"Godblessyouforit。"
Heenjoyedhiswalk。Cadfordwasacharmingvillageandforatimehehungoverthebridgebythemill。Soclearwasthestreamthatitseemednotwateratall,butsomeinvisiblequintessenceinwhichthehappyminnowsandtheweedswerevibrating。AndhepausedagainattheRomancrossing,andthoughtforamomentoftheunknownchild。Thelinecurvedsuddenly:certainlyitwasdangerous。Thenheliftedhiseyestothedown。Theentrenchmentshowedliketherimofasaucer,andoveritsnarrowlinepeepedthesummitofthecentraltree。Itlookedinteresting。Hehurriedforward,withthewindbehindhim。
TheRingswerecuriousratherthanimpressive。Neitherembankmentwasovertwelvefeethigh,andthegrassonthemhadnottheexquisitegreenofOldSarum,butwasgreyandwiry。ButNature(ifshearrangesanything)hadarrangedthatfromthem,atallevents,thereshouldbeaview。ThewholesystemofthecountrylayspreadbeforeRickie,andhegainedanideaofitthathenevergotinhiselaborateride。HesawhowallthewaterconvergesatSalisbury;howSalisburyliesinashallowbasin,justatthechangeofthesoil。HesawtothenorththePlain,andthestreamoftheCadflowingdownfromit,withatributarythatbrokeoutsuddenly,asthechalkstreamsdo:onevillagehadclusteredroundthesourceandclotheditselfwithtrees。HesawOldSarum,andhintsoftheAvonvalley,andthelandaboveStoneHenge。Andbehindhimhesawthegreatwoodbeginningunobtrusively,asifthedowntooneededshaving;andintoittheroadtoLondonslipped,coveringthebusheswithwhitedust。
Chalkmadethedustwhite,chalkmadethewaterclear,chalkmadethecleanrollingoutlinesoftheland,andfavouredthegrassandthedistantcoronalsoftrees。Hereistheheartofourisland:theChilterns,theNorthDowns,theSouthDownsradiatehence。ThefibresofEnglanduniteinWiltshire,anddidwecondescendtoworshipher,hereweshoulderectournationalshrine。
Peopleatthattimeweretryingtothinkimperially,Rickiewonderedhowtheydidit,forhecouldnotimagineaplacelargerthanEngland。AndotherpeopletalkedofItaly,thespiritualfatherlandofusall。PerhapsItalywouldprovemarvellous。Butatpresentheconceiveditassomethingexotic,tobeadmiredandreverenced,butnottobelovedliketheseunostentatiousfields。
Hedrewoutabook,itwasnaturalforhimtoreadwhenhewashappy,andtoreadoutloud,——andforalittletimehisvoicedisturbedthesilenceofthatgloriousafternoon。ThebookwasShelley,anditopenedatapassagethathehadcherishedgreatlytwoyearsbefore,andmarkedas"verygood。"
"IneverwasattachedtothatgreatsectWhosedoctrineisthateachoneshouldselectOutoftheworldamistressorafriend,Andalltherest,thoughfairandwise,commendTocoldoblivion,——thoughitisthecodeOfmodernmorals,andthebeatenroadWhichthosepoorslaveswithwearyfootstepstreadWhotraveltotheirhomeamongthedeadBythebroadhighwayoftheworld,——andsoWithonesadfriend,perhapsajealousfoe,Thedreariestandthelongestjourneygo。"
Itwas"verygood"——finepoetry,and,inasense,true。Yethewassurprisedthathehadeverselecteditsovehemently。Thisafternoonitseemedalittleinhuman。Halfamileofftwoloverswerekeepingcompanywhereallthevillagerscouldseethem。Theycaredfornooneelse;theyfeltonlythepressureofeachother,andsoprogressed,silentandoblivious,acrosstheland。HefeltthemtobenearerthetruththanShelley。Eveniftheysufferedorquarrelled,theywouldhavebeennearerthetruth。HewonderedwhethertheywereHenryAdamsandJessicaThompson,bothofthisparish,whosebannshadbeenaskedforthesecondtimeinthechurchthismorning。Whycouldhenotmarryonfifteenshillingsa—week?Andbelookedatthemwithrespect,andwishedthathewasnotacumbersomegentleman。
Presentlyhesawsomethinglesspleasant——hisaunt’sponycarriage。Ithadcrossedtherailway,andwasadvancinguptheRomanroadalongbythestrawsacks。Hisimpulsewastoretreat,butsomeonewavedtohim。ItwasAgnes。Shewavedcontinually,asmuchastosay,"Waitforus。"Mrs。Failingherselfraisedthewhipinanonchalantway。StephenWonhamwasfollowingonfoot,somewaybehind。HeputtheShelleybackintohispocketandwaitedforthem。Whenthecarriagestoppedbysomehurdleshewentdownfromtheembankmentandhelpedthemtodismount。Hefeltrathernervous。
Hisauntgavehimoneofherdisquietingsmiles,butsaidpleasantlyenough,"Aren’ttheRingsalittleimmense?AgnesandIcameherebecausewewantedanantidotetothemorningservice。"
"Pang!"saidthechurchbellsuddenly;"pang!pang!"Itsoundedpettyandludicrous。Theyalllaughed。Rickieblushed,andAgnes,withaglancethatsaid"apologize,"dartedawaytotheentrenchment,asthoughunabletorestrainhercuriosity。
"Theponywon’tmove,"saidMrs。Failing。"LeavehimforStephentotieup。Willyouwalkmetothetreeinthemiddle?Booh!I’mtired。Givemeyourarm——unlessyou’retiredaswell。"
"No。Icameoutpartlyinthehopeofhelpingyou。"
"Howsweetofyou。"ShecontrastedhisblatantunselfishnesswiththehardnessofStephen。Stephennevercameouttohelpyou。
Butifyougotholdofhimhewassomegood。Hedidn’twobbleandbendatthecriticalmoment。HerfancycomparedRickietothecrackedchurchbellsendingforthitsmessageof"Pang!pang!"tothecountryside,andStephentotheyoungpaganswhoweresaidtolieunderthisfieldguardingtheirpagangold。
"Thisplaceisfullofghosties,"sheremarked;"haveyouseenanyyet?"
"I’vekeptontheouterrimsofar。"
"Let’sgotothetreeinthecentre。"
"Here’sthepath。"Thebankofgrasswherehehadsatwasbrokenbyagap,throughwhichchariotshadentered,andfarmcartsenterednow。Thetrack,followingtheancienttrack,ledstraightthroughturnipstoasimilargapinthesecondcircle,andthencecontinued,throughmoreturnips,tothecentraltree。
"Pang!"saidthebell,astheypausedattheentrance。
"Youneedn’tunharness,"shoutedMrs。Failing,forStephenwasapproachingthecarriage。
"Yes,Iwill,"heretorted。
"Youwill,willyou?"shemurmuredwithasmile。"Iwishyourbrotherwasn’tquitesouppish。Let’sgeton。Doesn’tthatchurchdistractyou?"
"It’ssofainthere,"saidRickie。Anditsoundedfainterinside,thoughtheearthworkwasneitherthicknortall;andtheview,thoughnothidden,wasgreatlydiminished。HewasremindedforaminuteofthatchalkpitnearMadingley,whoserampartsexcludedthefamiliarworld。Agneswashere,asshehadoncebeenthere。
Shestoodonthefartherbarrier,waitingtoreceivethemwhentheyhadtraversedtheheartofthecamp。
"Admiremymangel—wurzels,"saidMrs。Failing。"Theyaresaidtogrowsosplendidlyonaccountofthedeadsoldiers。Isn’titasweetthought?NeedIsayitisyourbrother’s?"
"Wonham’s?"hesuggested。Itwasthesecondtimethatshehadmadethelittleslip。Shenodded,andheaskedherwhatkindofghostieshauntedthiscuriousfield。
"TheD。,"washerpromptreply。"Heleansagainstthetreeinthemiddle,especiallyonSundayafternoonsandalltheworshippersrisethroughtheturnipsanddanceroundhim。"
"Oh,theseweredecentpeople,"hereplied,lookingdownwards——
"soldiersandshepherds。Theyhavenoghosts。TheyworshippedMarsorPan—Erdaperhaps;notthedevil。"
"Pang!"wentthechurch,andwassilent,fortheafternoonservicehadbegun。Theyenteredthesecondentrenchment,whichwasinheight,breadth,andcomposition,similartothefirst,andexcludedstillmoreoftheview。Hisauntcontinuedfriendly。
Agnesstoodwatchingthem。
"Soldiersmayseemdecentinthepast,"shecontinued,"butwaittilltheyturnintoTommiesfromBulfordCamp,whorobthechickens。"
"Idon’tmindBulfordCamp,"saidRickie,looking,thoughinvain,forsignsofitssnowytents。"Thementherearethesonsofthemenhere,andhavecomebacktotheoldcountry。War’shorrible,yetonelovesallcontinuity。Andnoonecouldmindashepherd。"
"Indeed!Whataboutyourbrother——ashepherdifevertherewas?
Lookhowheboresyou!Don’tbesosentimental。"
"But——oh,youmean——"
"YourbrotherStephen。"
Heglancedathernervously。Hehadneverknownhersoqueerbefore。Perhapsitwassomeliteraryallusionthathehadnotcaught;butherfacedidnotatthatmomentsuggestliterature。
Inthedifferentialtonesthatoneusestoanoldandinfirmpersonhesaid"StephenWonhamisn’tmybrother,AuntEmily。"
"Mydear,you’rethatprecise。Onecan’tsay’half—brother’everytime。"
Theyapproachedthecentraltree。
"Howyoudopuzzleme,"hesaid,droppingherarmandbeginningtolaugh。"HowcouldIhaveahalf—brother?"
Shemadenoanswer。
Thenahorrorleaptstraightathim,andhebeatitbackandsaid,"Iwillnotbefrightened。"Thetreeinthecentrerevolved,thetreedisappeared,andhesawaroom——theroomwherehisfatherhadlivedintown。"Gently,"hetoldhimself,"gently。"Stilllaughing,hesaid,"I,withabrother—youngerit’snotpossible。"Thehorrorleaptagain,andheexclaimed,"It’safoullie!"
"Mydear,mydear!"
"It’safoullie!Hewasn’t——Iwon’tstand——"
"Mydear,beforeyousayseveralnoblethings,rememberthatit’sworseforhimthanforyou——worseforyourbrother,foryourhalf—brother,foryouryoungerbrother。"
Butheheardhernolonger。Hewasgazingatthepast,whichhehadpraisedsorecently,whichgapedeverwider,likeanunhallowedgrave。Turnwherehewould,itencircledhim。Ittookvisibleform:itwasthisdoubleentrenchmentoftheRings。Hismouthwentcold,andheknewthathewasgoingtofaintamongthedead。Hestartedrunning,missedtheexit,stumbledontheinnerbarrier,fellintodarkness——
"Gethisheaddown,"saidavoice。"Getthebloodbackintohim。
That’sallhewants。Leavehimtome。Elliot!"——thebloodwasreturning——"Elliot,wakeup!"
Hewokeup。Theearthhehaddreadedlayclosetohiseyes,andseemedbeautiful。Hesawthestructureoftheclods。Atinybeetleswungonthegrassblade。Onhisownneckahumanhandpressed,guidingthebloodbacktohisbrain。
Therebrokefromhimacry,notofhorrorbutofacceptance。Foroneshortmomentheunderstood。"Stephen——"hebegan,andthenheheardhisownnamecalled:"Rickie!Rickie!"Agneshurriedfromherpostonthemargin,and,asifunderstandingalso,caughthimtoherbreast。
Stephenofferedtohelpthemfurther,butfindingthathemadethingsworse,hesteppedasidetoletthempassandthensaunteredinwards。Thewholefield,withconcentriccircles,wasvisible,andthebroadleavesoftheturnipsrustledinthegatheringwind。MissPembrokeandElliotweremovingtowardstheCadoverentrance。Mrs。Failingstoodwatchinginherturnontheoppositebank。Hewasnotaninquisitiveboy;butasheleantagainstthetreehewonderedwhatitwasallabout,andwhetherhewouldeverknow。
XIV
Onthewayback——atthatverylevel—crossingwherehehadpausedonhisupwardroute——Rickiestoppedsuddenlyandtoldthegirlwhyhehadfainted。Hithertoshehadaskedhiminvain。Histonehadgonefromhim,andhetoldherharshlyandbrutally,sothatshestartedawaywithahorrifiedcry。Thenhismanneraltered,andheexclaimed:"Willyoumind?Areyougoingtomind?"
"OfcourseImind,"shewhispered。Sheturnedfromhim,andsawuponthesky—linetwofiguresthatseemedtobeofenormoussize。
"They’rewatchingus。Theystandontheedgewatchingus。Thiscountry’ssoopen——you——youcan’ttheywatchuswhereverwego。
Ofcourseyoumind。"
Theyheardtherumbleofthetrain,andshepulledherselftogether。"Come,dearest,weshallberunovernext。We’resayingthingsthathavenosense。"Butonthewaybackherepeated:
"Theycanstillseeus。Theycanseeeveryinchofthisroad。
Theywatchusforever。"Andwhentheyarrivedatthestepsthere,sureenough,werestillthetwofiguresgazingfromtheoutercircleoftheRings。
Shemadehimgotohisroomatonce:hewasalmosthysterical。
Leightonbroughtoutsometeaforher,andshesatdrinkingitonthelittleterrace。Ofcoursesheminded。
Againshewasmenacedbytheabnormal。Allhadseemedsofairandsosimple,soinaccordancewithherideas;andthen,likeacorpse,thishorrorroseuptothesurface。Shesawthetwofiguresdescendandpausewhileoneofthemharnessedthepony;
shesawthemdrivedownward,andknewthatbeforelongshemustfacethemandtheworld。Sheglancedatherengagementring。
WhenthecarriagedroveupMrs。Failingdismounted,butdidnotspeak。ItwasStephenwhoinquiredafterRickie。She,scarcelyknowingthesoundofherownvoice,repliedthathewasalittletired。
"Goandputupthepony,"saidMrs。Failingrathersharply。
"Agnes,givemesometea。"
"Itisratherstrong,"saidAgnesasthecarriagedroveoffandleftthemalone。ThenshenoticedthatMrs。Failingherselfwasagitated。Herlipsweretrembling,andshesawtheboydepartwithmanifestrelief。
"Doyouknow,"shesaidhurriedly,asiftalkingagainsttime——
"DoyouknowwhatupsetRickie?"
"Idoindeedknow。"
"Hashetoldanyoneelse?"
"Ibelievenot。"
"Agnes——haveIbeenafool?"
"Youhavebeenveryunkind,"saidthegirl,andhereyesfilledwithtears。
ForamomentMrs。Failingwasannoyed。"Unkind?Idonotseethatatall。Ibelieveinlookingfactsintheface。Rickiemustknowhisghostssometime。Whynotthisafternoon?"
Sherosewithquietdignity,buthertearscamefaster。"Thatisnotso。Youtoldhimtohurthim。Icannotthinkwhatyoudiditfor。Isupposebecausehewasrudetoyouafterchurch。Itisamean,cowardlyrevenge。
"What——whatifit’salie?"
"Then,Mrs。Failing,itissickeningofyou。Thereisnootherword。Sickening。Iamsorry——anobodylikemyself——tospeaklikethis。HowCOULDyou,oh,howcouldyoudemeanyourself?Why,notevenapoorperson——Herindignationwasfineandgenuine。Buthertearsfellnolonger。Nothingmenacedheriftheywerenotreallybrothers。
"Itisnotalie,myclear;sitdown。Iwillswearsomuchsolemnly。Itisnotalie,but——"
Agneswaited。
"——wecancallitalieifwechoose。"
"Iamnotsochildish。Youhavesaidit,andwemustallsuffer。
Youhavehadyourfun:Iconcludeyoudiditforfun。Youcannotgoback。He——"Shepointedtowardsthestables,andcouldnotfinishhersentence。
"Ihavenotbeenafooltwice。"
Agnesdidnotunderstand。
"Mydenselady,can’tyoufollow?IhavenottoldStephenonesingleword,neitherbeforenornow。"
Therewasalongsilence。
Indeed,Mrs。Failingwasinanawkwardposition。
Rickiehadirritatedher,and,inherdesiretoshockhim,shehadimperilledherownpeace。Shehadfeltsounconventionaluponthehillside,whensheloosedthehorroragainsthim;butnowitwasdartingatheraswell。Supposethescandalcameout。
Stephen,whowasabsolutelywithoutdelicacy,wouldtellittothepeopleassoonastellthemthetime。Hispaganismwouldbetooassertive;itmightevenbeinbadtaste。Afterall,shehadaprominentpositionintheneighbourhood;shewastalkedabout,respected,lookedupto。Afterall,shewasgrowingold。Andtherefore,thoughshehadnotrueregardforRickie,norforAgnes,norforStephen,norforStephen’sparents,inwhosetragedyshehadassisted,yetshedidfeelthatifthescandalreviveditwoulddisturbtheharmonyofCadover,andthereforetriedtoretracehersteps。Itiseasytosayshockingthings:itissodifferenttobeconnectedwithanythingshocking。Lifeanddeathwerenotinvolved,butcomfortanddiscomfortwere。
第10章