Tilliardfledintoahansom,cursinghimselfforhavingtriedtodothethingcheaply。Hornbloweralsosweptpastyellingderisively,withhisluggageneatlypiledabovehishead。"Let’sgetoutandwalk,"mutteredAnsell。ButRickiewassuccouringadistressedfemale——Mrs。Aberdeen。
"Oh,Mrs。Aberdeen,Ineversawyou:Iamsogladtoseeyou——I
amsoveryglad。"Mrs。Aberdeenwascold。Shedidnotlikebeingspokentooutsidethecollege,andwasalsodistraitaboutherbasket。Hithertonogenteeleyehadevenseeninsideit,butinthecollisionitslittlecalicoveilfelloff,andtherevasrevealed——nothing。Thebasketwasempty,andneverwouldholdanythingillegal。Allthesameshewasdistrait,and"Weshallmeetlater,sir,Idessy,"wasallthegreetingRickiegotfromher。
"NowwhatkindofalifehasMrs。Aberdeen?"heexclaimed,asheandAnsellpursuedtheStationRoad。"Herethesebedderscomeandmakeuscomfortable。Weoweanenormousamounttothem,theirwagesareabsurd,andweknownothingaboutthem。OfftheygotoBarnwell,andthentheirlivesarehidden。IjustknowthatMrs。
Aberdeenhasahusband,butthat’sall。Sheneverwilltalkabouthim。NowIdosowanttofillinherlife。Iseeone—halfofit。
What’stheotherhalf?Shemayhavearealjollyhouse,ingoodtaste,withalittlegardenandbooks,andpictures。Or,again,shemayn’t。Butinanycaseoneoughttoknow。Iknowshe’ddislikeit,butsheoughtn’ttodislike。Afterall,beddersaretoblameforthepresentlamentablestateofthings,justasmuchasgentlefolk。Sheoughttowantmetocome。Sheoughttointroducemetoherhusband。"
TheyhadreachedthecornerofHillsRoad。Ansellspokeforthefirsttime。Hesaid,"Ugh!"
"Drains?"
"Yes。Aspiritualcesspool。"
Rickielaughed。
"Iexpecteditfromyourletter。"
"Theoneyouneveranswered?"
"Ianswernoneofyourletters。Youarequitehopelessbynow。
Youcangotothebad。ButIrefusetoaccompanyyou。Irefusetobelievethateveryhumanbeingisamovingwonderofsupremeinterestandtragedyandbeauty——whichwaswhattheletterinquestionamountedto。You’llfindplentywhowillbelieveit。
It’saverypopularviewamongpeoplewhoaretooidletothink;
itsavesthemthetroubleofdetectingthebeautifulfromtheugly,theinterestingfromthedull,thetragicfromthemelodramatic。YouhadjustcomefromSawston,andwereapparentlycarriedawaybythefactthatMissPembrokehadtheusualamountofarmsandlegs。"
Rickiewassilent。Hehadtoldhisfriendhowhefelt,butnotwhathadhappened。Ansellcoulddiscussloveanddeathadmirably,butsomehowhewouldnotunderstandloversoradyingman,andinthelettertherehadbeenscantallusiontotheseconcretefacts。
WouldCambridgeunderstandthemeither?Hewatchedsomedonswhowerepeepingintoanexcavation,andthrowinguptheirhandswithhumorousgesturesofdespair。ThesemenwouldlecturenextweekonCatiline’sconspiracy,onLuther,onEvolution,onCatullus。
Theydealtwithsomuchandtheyhadexperiencedsolittle。WasitpossiblehewouldevercometothinkCambridgenarrow?InhisshortlifeRickiehadknowntwosuddendeaths,andthatisenoughtodisarrangeanyplacidoutlookontheworld。Heknewonceforallthatweareallofusbubblesonanextremelyroughsea。Intothisseahumanityhasbuilt,asitwere,somelittlebreakwaters——scientificknowledge,civilizedrestraint——sothatthebubblesdonotbreaksofrequentlvorsosoon。Buttheseahasnotaltered,anditwasonlyachancethathe,Ansell,Tilliard,andMrs。Aberdeenhadnotallbeenkilledinthetram。
TheywaitedfortheothertrambytheRomanCatholicChurch,whosefloridbulkwasalreadyrecedingintotwilight。Itisthefirstbigbuildingthattheincomingvisitorsees。"Oh,herecomethecolleges!"criestheProtestantparent,andthenlearnsthatitwasbuiltbyaPapistwhomadeafortuneoutofmovableeyesfordolls。"Builtoutofdoll’seyestocontainidols"——that,atallevents,isthelegendandthejoke。Itwatchesovertheapostatecity,tallerbymanyayardthananythingwithin,andasserting,howeverwildly,thathereiseternity,stability,andbubblesunbreakableuponawindlesssea。
Acostlyhymntuneannouncedfiveo’clock,andinthedistancethemorelovablenoteofSt。Mary’scouldbeheard,speakingfromtheheartofthetown。Thenthetramarrived——theslowstuffytramthatplieseverytwentyminutesbetweentheunknownandthemarketplace——andtookthempastthedesecratedgroundsofDowning,pastAddenbrookesHospital,girtlikeaVenetianpalacewithamantlingcanal,pasttheFitzWilliam,toweringuponimmensesubstructionslikeanyRomantemple,rightuptothegatesofone’sowncollege,whichlookedlikenothingelseintheworld。
Theportersweregladtoseethem,butwishedithadbeenahansom。"Ourluggage,"explainedRickie,"comesinthehotelomnibus,ifyouwouldkindlypayashillingformine。"Ansellturnedasidetosomelargelightedwindows,theabodeofahospitabledon,andfromotherwindowstherefloatedfamiliarvoicesandthefamiliarmistakesinaBeethovensonata。Thecollege,thoughsmall,wascivilized,andproudofitscivilization。ItwasnotsufficientglorytobeaBluethere,noranadditionalglorytogetdrunk。ManyamaidenladywhohadreadthatCambridgemenweresaddogs,wassurprisedandperhapsalittledisappointedatthereasonablelifewhichgreetedher。
MissAppleblossominparticularhadhadatremendousshock。ThesightofyoungfellowsmakingteaanddrinkingwaterhadmadeherwonderwhetherthiswasCambridgeCollegeatall。"Itisso,"sheexclaimedafterwards。"ItisjustasIsay;andwhat’smore,I
wouldn’thaveitotherwise;Stewartsaysit’saseasyaseasytogetintotheswim,andnotatallexpensive。"Thedirectionoftheswimwasdeterminedalittlebythegeniusoftheplace——forplaceshaveagenius,thoughthelesswetalkaboutitthebetter——andagooddealbythetutorsandresidentfellows,whotreatedwithraredexteritytheproductsthatcameupyearlyfromthepublicschools。Theytaughttheperkyboythathewasnoteverything,andthelimpboythathemightbesomething。Theyevenwelcomedthoseboyswhowereneitherlimpnorperky,butodd——thoseboyswhohadneverbeenatapublicschoolatall,andsuchdonotfindawelcomeeverywhere。Andtheydideverythingwithease——onemightalmostsaywithnonchalance,sothattheboysnoticednothing,andreceivededucation,oftenforthefirsttimeintheirlives。
ButRickieturnedtononeofthesefriends,forjustthenhelovedhisroomsbetterthananyperson。Theywereallhereallypossessedintheworld,theonlyplacehecouldcallhisown。
Overthedoorwashisname,andthroughthepaint,likeagreyghost,hecouldstillreadthenameofhispredecessor。Withasighofjoyheenteredtheperishablehomethatwashisforacoupleofyears。Therewasabeautifulfire,andthekettleboiledatonce。Hemadeteaonthehearth—rugandatethebiscuitswhichMrs。AberdeenhadbroughtforhimupfromAnderson’s。"Gentlemen,"shesaid,"mustlearntogiveandtake。"
Hesighedagainandagain,likeonewhohadescapedfromdanger。
Withhisheadonthefenderandallhislimbsrelaxed,hefeltalmostassafeashefeltoncewhenhismotherkilledaghostinthepassagebycarryinghimthroughitinherarms。Therewasnoghostnow;hewasfrightenedatreality;hewasfrightenedatthesplendoursandhorrorsoftheworld。
AletterfromMissPembrokewasonthetable。Hedidnothurrytoopenit,forshe,andallthatshedid,wasoverwhelming。ShewroteliketheSibyl;hersorrowfulfacemovedoverthestarsandshatteredtheirharmonies;lastnighthesawherwiththeeyesofBlake,avirginwidow,tall,veiled,consecrated,withherhandsstretchedoutagainstaneverlastingwind。Whvshouldshewrite?
Herletterswerenotforthelikesofhim,nortobereadinroomslikehis。
"WearenotleavingSawston,"shewrote。"IsawhowselfishitwasofmetoriskspoilingHerbert’scareer。Ishallgetusedtoanyplace。Nowthatheisgone,nothingofthatsortcanmatter。
Everyonehasbeenmostkind,butyouhavecomfortedmemost,thoughyoudidnotmeanto。Icannotthinkhowyoudidit,orunderstoodsomuch。Istillthinkofyouasalittleboywithalameleg,——Iknowyouwillletmesaythis,——andyetwhenitcametothepointyouknewmorethanpeoplewhohavebeenalltheirliveswithsorrowanddeath。"
Rickieburntthisletter,whichheoughtnottohavedone,foritwasoneofthefewtributesMissPembrokeeverpaidtoimagination。Buthefeltthatitdidnotbelongtohim:wordssosincereshouldbeforGeraldalone。Thesmokerushedupthechimney,andheindulgedinavision。Hesawitreachtheouterairandbeatagainstthelowceilingofclouds。Thecloudsweretoostrongforit;butinthemwasonechink,revealingonestar,andthroughthisthesmokeescapedintothelightofstarsinnumerable。Then——butthenthevisionfailed,andthevoiceofsciencewhisperedthatallsmokeremainsonearthintheformofsmuts,andistroublesometoMrs。Aberdeen。
"Iamjollyunpractical,"hemused。"Andwhatisthepointofitwhenrealthingsaresowonderful?WhowantsvisionsinaworldthathasAgnesandGerald?"Heturnedontheelectriclightandpulledopenthetable—drawer。There,amongspoonsandcorksandstring,hefoundafragmentofalittlestorythathehadtriedtowritelastterm。Itwascalled"TheBayoftheFifteenIslets,"andtheactiontookplaceonSt。John’sEveoffthecoastofSicily。Apartyoftouristslandononeoftheislands。
Suddenlytheboatmenbecomeuneasy,andsaythattheislandisnotgenerallythere。Itisanextraone,andtheyhadbetterhaveteaononeoftheordinaries。"Pooh,volcanic!"saystheleadingtourist,andtheladiessayhowinteresting。Theislandbeginstorock,andsodothemindsofitsvisitors。Theystartandquarrelandjabber。Fingersburstupthroughthesand—blackfingersofseadevils。Theislandtilts。Thetouristsgomad。Butjustbeforethecatastropheoneman,integervitcescelerisquepurus,seesthetruth。Herearenodevils。Othermuscles,otherminds,arepullingtheislandtoitssubterraneanhome。Throughtheadvancingwallofwatersheseesnogrislyfaces,noghastlymedievallimbs,but——Butwhatnonsense!Whenrealthingsaresowonderful,whatisthepointofpretending?
AndsoRickiedeflectedhisenthusiasms。Hithertotheyhadplayedongodsandheroes,ontheinfiniteandtheimpossible,onvirtueandbeautyandstrength。Now,withasteadierradiance,theytransfiguredamanwhowasdeadandawomanwhowasstillalive。
VII
Love,sayorderlypeople,canbefallenintobytwomethods:(1)
throughthedesires,(2)throughtheimagination。AndiftheorderlypeopleareEnglish,theyaddthat(1)istheinferiormethod,andcharacteristicoftheSouth。Itisinferior。Yetthosewhopursueitatalleventsknowwhattheywant;theyarenotpuzzlingtothemselvesorludicroustoothers;theydonottakethewingsofthemorningandflyintotheuttermostpartsoftheseabeforewalkingtotheregistryoffice;theycannotbreedatragedyquitelikeRickie’s。
Heis,ofcourse,absurdlyyoung——nottwenty—oneandhewillbeengagedtobemarriedattwenty—three。Hehasnoknowledgeoftheworld;forexample,hethinksthatifyoudonotwantmoneyyoucangiveittofriendswhodo。Hebelievesinhumanitybecauseheknowsadozendecentpeople。Hebelievesinwomenbecausehehaslovedhismother。Andhisfriendsareasyoungandasignorantashimself。Theyarefullofthewineoflife。Buttheyhavenottastedthecup——letuscallittheteacup——ofexperience,whichhasmademenofMr。Pembroke’stypewhattheyare。Oh,thatteacup!Tobetakenatprayers,atfriendship,atlove,tillwearequitesane,efficient,quiteexperienced,andquiteuselesstoGodorman。Wemustdrinkit,orweshalldie。Butweneednotdrinkitalways。Hereisourproblemandoursalvation。Therecomesamoment——Godknowswhen——atwhichwecansay,"Iwillexperiencenolonger。Iwillcreate。Iwillbeanexperience。"
Buttodothiswemustbebothacuteandheroic。Foritisnoteasy,afteracceptingsixcupsoftea,tothrowtheseventhinthefaceofthehostess。AndtoRickiethismomenthasnot,asyet,beenoffered。
Ansell,attheendofhisthirdyear,gotafirstintheMoralScienceTripos。Beingascholar,hekepthisroomsincollege,andatoncebegantoworkforaFellowship。RickiegotacreditablesecondintheClassicalTripos,PartI。,andretiredtosallowlodgingsinMillbane,carryingwithhimthedegreeofB。A。andasmallexhibition,whichwasquiteasmuchashedeserved。ForPartII。hereadGreekArchaeology,andgotasecond。AllthismeansthatAnsellwasmuchclevererthanRickie。
Asforthecow,shewasstillgoingstrong,thoughturningalittleacademicastheyearspassedoverher。
"Weareboundtogetnarrow,"sighedRickie。Heandhisfriendwerelyinginameadowduringtheirlastsummerterm。Inhisincurableloveforflowershehadplaitedtwogarlandsofbuttercupsandcow—parsley,andAnsell’sleanJewishfacewasframedinoneofthem。"Cambridgeiswonderful,but——butit’ssotiny。Youhavenoidea——atleast,Ithinkyouhavenoidea——howthegreatworldlooksdownonit。"
"Ireadthelettersinthepapers。"
"It’sabadlook—out。"
"How?"
"Cambridgehaslosttouchwiththetimes。"
"Wassheeverintendedtotouchthem?"
"Shesatisfies,"saidRickiemysteriously,"neithertheprofessions,northepublicschools,northegreatthinkingmassofmenandwomen。Thereisageneralfeelingthatherdayisover,andnaturallyonefeelsprettysick。"
"Doyoustillwriteshortstories?"
"BecauseyourEnglishhasgonetothedevil。YouthinkandtalkinJournalese。Defineagreatthinkingmass。"
Rickiesatupandadjustedhisfloralcrown。
"Estimatetheworthofageneralfeeling。"
Silence。
"Andthirdly,whereisthegreatworld?"
"Ohthat——!"
"Yes。That,"exclaimedAnsell,risingfromhiscouchinviolentexcitement。"Whereisit?Howdoyousetaboutfindingit?Howlongdoesittaketogetthere?Whatdoesitthink?Whatdoesitdo?Whatdoesitwant?Obligemewithspecimensofitsartandliterature。"Silence。"Tillyoudo,myopinionswillbeasfollows:Thereisnogreatworldatall,onlyalittleearth,foreverisolatedfromtherestofthelittlesolarsystem。Theearthisfulloftinysocieties,andCambridgeisoneofthem。Allthesocietiesarenarrow,butsomearegoodandsomearebad——justasonehouseisbeautifulinsideandanotherugly。Observethemetaphorofthehouses:Iamcomingbacktoit。Thegoodsocietiessay,`ItellyoutodothisbecauseIamCambridge。’
Thebadonessay,`ItellyoutodothatbecauseIamthegreatworld,notbecauseIam’Peckham,’or`Billingsgate,’or`ParkLane,’but`becauseIamthegreatworld。’Theylie。Andfoolslikeyoulistentothem,andbelievethattheyareathingwhichdoesnotexistandneverhasexisted,andconfuse’great,’whichhasnomeaningwhatever,with’good,’whichmeanssalvation。Lookatthisgreatwreath:it’llbedeadtomorrow。Lookatthatgoodflower:it’llcomeupagainnextyear。Nowfortheothermetaphor。TocomparetheworldtoCambridgeislikecomparingtheoutsidesofhouseswiththeinsideofahouse。Nointellectualeffortisneeded,nomoralresultisattained。Youonlyhavetosay,’Oh,whatadifference!’andthencomeindoorsagainandexhibityourbroadenedmind。"
"Inevershallcomeindoorsagain,"saidRickie。"That’sthewholepoint。"Andhisvoicebegantoquiver。"It’swellenoughforthosewho’llgetaFellowship,butinafewweeksIshallgodown。Inafewyearsit’llbeasifI’veneverbeenup。Itmattersverymuchtomewhattheworldislike。Ican’tansweryourquestionsaboutit;andthat’snolosstoyou,butsomuchtheworseforme。Andthenyou’vegotahouse——notametaphoricalone,butahousewithfatherandsisters。Ihaven’t,andnevershallhave。There’llneveragainbeahomeformelikeCambridge。
Ishallonlylookattheoutsideofhomes。Accordingtoyourmetaphor,Ishallliveinthestreet,anditmattersverymuchtomewhatIfindthere。"
"You’llliveinanotherhouserightenough,"saidAnsell,ratheruneasily。"Onlytakecareyoupickoutadecentone。Ican’tthinkwhyyouflopaboutsohelplessly,likeabitofseaweed。Infouryearsyou’vetakenasmuchrootasanyone。"
"Where?"
"Ishouldsayyou’vebeenfortunateinyourfriends。"
"Oh——that!"Buthewasnotcynical——orcynicalinaverytenderway。Hewasthinkingoftheironyoffriendship——sostrongitis,andsofragile。Weflytogether,likestrawsinaneddy,topartintheopenstream。Naturehasnouseforus:shehascutherstuffdifferently。Dutifulsons,lovinghusbands,responsiblefathersthesearewhatshewants,andifwearefriendsitmustbeinoursparetime。AbramandSaraiweresorrowful,yettheirseedbecameassandofthesea,anddistractsthepoliticsofEuropeatthismoment。ButafewversesofpoetryisallthatsurvivesofDavidandJonathan。
"Iwishwewerelabelled,"saidRickie。HewishedthatalltheconfidenceandmutualknowledgethatisborninsuchaplaceasCambridgecouldbeorganized。Peoplewentdownintotheworldsaying,"Weknowandlikeeachother;weshan’tforget。"Buttheydidforget,formanissomadethathecannotrememberlongwithoutasymbol;hewishedtherewasasociety,akindoffriendshipoffice,wherethemarriageoftruemindscouldberegistered。
"Whylabels?"
"Toknoweachotheragain。"
"Ihavetaughtyoupessimismsplendidly。"Helookedathiswatch。
"Whattime?"
"Nottwelve。"
Rickiegotup。
"Whygo?"HestretchedouthishandandcaughtholdofRickie’sankle。
"I’vegotthatMissPembroketolunch——thatgirlwhomyousaynever’sthere。"
"Thenwhygo?AllthisweekyouhavepretendedMissPembrokeawaitedyou。Wednesday——MissPembroketolunch。Thursday——MissPembroketotea。Nowagain——andyoudidn’teveninviteher。"
"ToCambridge,no。ButtheHallmanthey’restoppingwithhassomanyengagementsthatsheandherfriendcanoftencometome,I’mgladtosay。Idon’tthinkIevertoldyoumuch,butovertwoyearsagothemanshewasgoingtomarrywaskilledatfootball。
Shenearlydiedofgrief。ThisvisittoCambridgeisalmostthefirstamusementshehasfeltuptotaking。Oh,theygobacktomorrow!Givemebreakfasttomorrow。"
"Allright。"
"ButIshallseeyouthisevening。IshallberoundatyourpaperonSchopenhauer。Lemmego。"
"Don’tgo,"hesaididly。"It’smuchbetterforyoutotalktome。"
"Lemmego,Stewart。"
"It’samusingthatyou’resofeeble。You——simply——can’t——get——
away。
IwishIwantedtobullyyou。"
Rickielaughed,andsuddenlyoverbalancedintothegrass。
Ansell,withunusualplayfulness,heldhimprisoner。Theylaythereforfewminutes,talkingandraggingaimlessly。ThenRickieseizedhisopportunityandjerkedaway。
"Go,go!"yawnedtheother。Buthewasalittlevexed,forhewasayoungmanwithgreatcapacityforpleasure,anditpleasedhimthatmorningtobewithhisfriend。Thethoughtoftwoladieswaitinglunchdidnotdeterhim;stupidwomen,whyshouldn’ttheywait?Whyshouldtheyinterferewiththeirbetters?WithhisearonthegroundhelistenedtoRickie’sdepartingsteps,andthought,"Hewastesalotoftimekeepingengagements。Whywillhebepleasanttofools?"Andthenhethought,"Whyhasheturnedsounhappy?Itisn’tasithe’saphilosopher,ortriestosolvetheriddleofexistence。Andhe’sgotmoneyofhisown:"Thusthinking,hefellasleep。
MeanwhileRickiehurriedawayfromhim,andslackenedandstopped,andhurriedagain。HewasdueattheUnionintenminutes,buthecouldnotbringhimselfthere。HedarednotmeetMissPembroke:helovedher。
Thedevilmusthaveplannedit。Theyhadstartedsogloriously;
shehadbeenagoddessbothinjoyandsorrow。Shewasagoddessstill。Buthehaddethronedthegodwhomoncehehadglorifiedequally。Slowly,slowly,theimageofGeraldhadfaded。Thatwasthefirststep。Rickiehadthought,"Nomatter。Hewillbebrightagain。Justnowalltheradiancechancestobeinher。"Andonherhehadfixedhiseyes。Hethoughtofherawake。Heentertainedherwillinglyindreams。Hefoundherinpoetryandmusicandinthesunset。Shemadehimkindandstrong。Shemadehimclever。ThroughherhekeptCambridgeinitsproperplace,andlivedasacitizenofthegreatworld。Butonenighthedreamtthatshelayinhisarms。Thisdispleasedhim。HedeterminedtothinkalittleaboutGeraldinstead。Thenthefabriccollapsed。
ItwashardonRickiethustomeetthedevil。Hedidnotdeserveit,forhewascomparativelycivilized,andknewthattherewasnothingshamefulinlove。Buttolovethiswoman!Ifonlyithadbeenanyoneelse!Loveinreturn——thathecouldexpectfromnoone,beingtoouglyandtoounattractive。Buttheloveheofferedwouldnotthenhavebeenvile。TheinsulttoMissPembroke,whowasconsecrated,andwhomhehadconsecrated,whocouldstillseeGerald,andalwayswouldseehim,shiningonhiseverlastingthronethiswasthecrimefromthedevil,thecrimethatnopenancewouldeverpurge。Sheknewnothing。Sheneverwouldknow。
Butthecrimewasregisteredinheaven。
HehadbeentemptedtoconfideinAnsell。Buttowhatpurpose?Hewouldsay,"IloveMissPembroke。"andStewartwouldreply,"Youass。"Andthen。"I’mnevergoingtotellher。""Youass,"again。
Afterall,itwasnotapracticalquestion;Agneswouldneverhearofhisfall。Ifhisfriendhadbeen,asheexpressedit,"labelled";ifhehadbeenafather,orstillbetterabrother,onemighttellhimofthediscreditablepassion。Butwhyirritatehimfornoreason?Thinking"Iamalwaysanglingforsympathy;I
muststopmyself,"hehurriedonwardtotheUnion。
Hefoundhisguestshalfwayupthestairs,readingtheadvertisementsofcoachesfortheLongVacation。HeheardMrs。
Lewinsay,"Iwonderwhathe’llendbydoing。"Alittleoveractinghispart,heapologizednonchalantlyforhislateness。
"It’salwaysthesame,"criedAgnes。"LasttimeheforgotIwascomingaltogether。"Sheworeafloweredmuslin——somethingindescribablyliquidandcool。Itremindedhimalittleofthoseswiftpiercingstreams,neitherbluenorgreen,thatgushoutofthedolomites。Herfacewasclearandbrown,likethefaceofamountaineer;herhairwassoplentifulthatitseemedbankedupaboveit;andherlittletoque,thoughitansweredthenoteofthedress,wasalmostludicrous,poisedonsomuchnaturalglory。
Whenshemoved,thesunlightflashedonherear—rings。
Heledthemuptotheluncheon—room。Bynowhewasconsciousofhislimitationsasahost,andneverattemptedtoentertainladiesinhislodgings。Moreover,theUnionseemedlessintimate。
IthadafaintflavourofaLondonclub;itmarkedtheundergraduate’snearestapproachtothegreatworld。Amiditswaitersandserviettesonefeltimpersonal,andabletoconcealtheprivateemotions。RickiefeltthatifMissPembrokeknewonethingabouthim,shekneweverything。Duringthisvisithetookhertonoplacethathegreatlyloved。
"Sitdown,ladies。Fallto。I’msorry。IwasouttowardsCotonwithadreadfulfriend。"
Mrs。Lewinpushedupherveil。ShewasatypicalMay—termchaperon,alwayspleasant,alwayshungry,andalwaystired。YearafteryearshecameuptoCambridgeinatightsilkdress,andyearafteryearshenearlydiedofit。Herfeethurt,herlimbswerecrampedinacanoe,blackspotsdancedbeforehereyesfromeatingtoomuchmayonnaise。Butstillshecame,ifnotasamotherasanaunt,ifnotasanauntasafriend。StillsheascendedtheroofofKing’s,stillshecountedtheballsofClare,stillshewasonthepointofgraspingtheorganizationoftheMayraces。"Andwhoisyourfriend?"sheasked。
"HisnameisAnsell。"
"Well,now,didIseehimtwoyearsago——asabedmakerinsomethingtheydidattheFootLights?Oh,howIroared。"
"Youdidn’tseeMr。AnsellattheFootLights,"saidAgnes,smiling。
"Howdoyouknow?"askedRickie。
"He’dscarcelybesofrivolous。"
"Doyourememberseeinghim?"
"Foramoment。"
Whatamemoryshehad!Andhowsplendidlyduringthatmomentshehadbehaved!
"Isn’themarvellouslyclever?"
"Ibelieveso。"
"Oh,givemecleverpeople!"criedMrs。Lewin。"TheyarekindnessitselfattheHall,butIassureyouIamdepressedattimes。Onecannottalkbump—rowingforever。"
"Ineverhearabouthim,Rickie;butisn’thereallyyourgreatestfriend?"
"Idon’tgoinforgreatestfriends。"
"Doyoumeanyoulikeusallequally?"
"Alldifferently,thoseofyouIlike。"
"Ah,you’vecaughtit!"criedMrs。Lewin。"Mr。Elliotgaveityoutherewell。"
Agneslaughed,and,herelbowsonthetable,regardedthemboththroughherfingers——ahabitofhers。Thenshesaid,"Can’tweseethegreatMr。Ansell?"
"Oh,let’s。Orwouldhefrightenme?"
"Hewouldfrightenyou,"saidRickie。"He’satrifleweird。"
"MygoodRickie,ifyouknewthedeathlydullnessofSawston——
everyonesayingtheproperthingatthepropertime,Isoproper,Herbertsoproper!Why,weirdnessistheonethingIlongfor!Doarrangesomething。"
"I’mafraidthere’snoopportunity。Ansellgoessomevastbicycleridethisafternoon;thiseveningyou’retiedupattheHall;andtomorrowyougo。"
"Butthere’sbreakfasttomorrow,"saidAgnes。"Lookhere,Rickie,bringMr。AnselltobreakfastwithusatBuoys。"
Mrs。Lewinsecondedtheinvitation。
"Badluckagain,"saidRickieboldly;"I’malreadyfixedupforbreakfast。I’lltellhimofyourverykindintention。"
"Let’shavehimalone,"murmuredAgnes。
"Mydeargirl,Ishoulddiethroughthefloor!Oh,it’llbeallrightaboutbreakfast。IratherthinkweshallgetaskedthiseveningbythatshymanwhohastheprettyroomsinTrinity。"
"Oh,verywell。Whereisityoubreakfast,Rickie?"