Mr。FailinghadaletterfromStockholm。Itwasneverknownwhatimpulsesentthemthere。"Iamsorryaboutitall,butitwastheonlyway。"ThelettercensuredthelawofEngland,"whichobligesustobehavelikethis,orelseweshouldnevergetmarried。I
shallcomebacktofacethings:shewillnotcomebacktillsheismywife。Hemustbringanactionsoon,orelseweshalltryoneagainsthim。Itseemsallveryunconventional,butitisnotreally。itisonlyadifficultstart。Wearenotlikeyouoryourwife:wewanttobejustordinarypeople,andmakethefarmpay,andnotbenoticedallourlives。"
Andtheywerecapableoflivingastheywanted。Theclassdifference,whichsointriguedMrs。Failing,meantverylittletothem。Itwasthere,butsowereotherthings。
Theybothcaredforworkandlivingintheopen,andfornotspeakingunlesstheyhadgotsomethingtosay。Theirloveofbeauty,liketheirloveforeachother,wasnotdependentondetail:itgrewnotfromthenervesbutfromthesoul。
"IbelievealeafofgrassisnolessthanthejourneyworkofthestarsAndthepismireisequallyperfect,andagrainofsand,andtheeggofthewren,Andthetreetoadisachef—d’oeuvreforthehighest,Andtherunningblackberrywouldadorntheparloursofheaven。"
Theyhadneverreadtheselines,andwouldhavethoughtthemnonsenseiftheyhad。Theydidnotdissect——indeedtheycouldnot。Butshe,atallevents,divinedthatmorethanperfecthealthandperfectweather,morethanpersonallove,hadgonetothemakingofthoseseventeendays。
"Ordinarypeople!"criedMrs。Failingonhearingtheletter。Atthattimeshewasyounganddaring。"Why,they’redivine!They’reforcesofNature!They’reasordinaryasvolcanoes。Weallknewmybrotherwasdisgusting,andwantedhimtobeblowntopieces,butweneverthoughtitwouldhappen。Dolookatthethingbravely,andsay,asIdo,thattheyareguiltlessinthesightofGod。"
"Ithinktheyare,"repliedherhusband。"Buttheyarenotguiltlessinthesightofman。"
"Youconventional!"sheexclaimedindisgust。
"Whattheyhavedonemeansmiserynotonlyforthemselvesbutforothers。Foryourbrother,thoughyouwillnotthinkofhim。Forthelittleboy——didyouthinkofhim?Andperhapsforanotherchild,whowillhavethewholeworldagainsthimifitknows。
Theyhavesinnedagainstsociety,andyoudonotdiminishthemiserybyprovingthatsocietyisbadorfoolish。ItisthesaddesttruthIhaveyetperceivedthattheBelovedRepublic"——
hereshetookupabook——"ofwhichSwinburnespeaks"——sheputthebookdown——"willnotbebroughtaboutbylovealone。Itwillapproachwithnoflourishoftrumpets,andhavenodeclarationofindependence。Self—sacrificeand——worsestill——self—mutilationarethethingsthatsometimeshelpitmost,andthatiswhyweshouldstartforStockholmthisevening。"Hewaitedforherindignationtosubside,andthencontinued。"Idon’tknowwhetheritcanbehushedup。Idon’tyetknowwhetheritoughttobehushedup。Butweoughttoprovidetheopportunity。Thereisnoscandalyet。Ifwego,itisjustpossiblethereneverwillbeany。Wemusttalkoverthewholethingand——"
"——Andlie!"interruptedMrs。Failing,whohatedtravel。
"——Andseehowtoavoidthegreatestunhappiness。"
Therewastobenoscandal。BythetimetheyarrivedRoberthadbeendrowned。Mrs。Elliotdescribedhowtheyhadgoneswimming,andhow,"sincehealwayslivedinland,"thegreatwaveshadtiredhim。Theyhadracedfortheopensea。
"Whatareyourplans?"heasked。"IbringyouamessagefromFrederick。"
"Iheardhimcall,"shecontinued,"butIthoughthewaslaughing。WhenIturned,itwastoolate。Heputhishandsbehindhisbackandsank。Forhewouldonlyhavedrownedmewithhim。I
shouldhavedonethesame。"
Mrs。Failingwasthrilled,andkissedher。ButMr。Failingknewthatlifedoesnotcontinueheroicforlong,andhegaveherthemessagefromherhusband:Wouldshecomebacktohim?
Tohisintenseastonishment——atfirsttohisregret——shereplied,"Iwillthinkaboutit。IfIlovedhimtheveryleastbitI
shouldsayno。IfIhadanythingtodowithmylifeIshouldsayno。ButitissimplyaquestionofbeatingtimetillIdie。
Nothingthatiscomingmatters。Imayaswellsitinhisdrawing—roomanddusthisfurniture,sincehehassuggestedit。"
AndMr。Elliot,thoughhemadecertainstipulations,waspositivelygladtoseeher。Peoplehadbeguntolaughathim,andtosaythathiswifehadrunaway。Shehadnot。ShehadbeenwithhissisterinSweden。Inahalfmiraculouswaythematterwashushedup。EventheSiltsonlyscented"somethingstrange。"WhenStephenwasborn,itwasabroad。WhenhecametoEngland,itwasasthechildofafriendofMr。Failing’s。Mrs。Elliotreturnedunsuspectedtoherhusband。
Butthoughthingscanbehushedup,thereisnosuchthingasbeatingtime;andastheyearspassedsherealizedherterriblemistake。Whenherloversank,eludingherlastembrace,shethought,asAgneswastothinkafterher,thathersoulhadsunkwithhim,andthatneveragainshouldshebecapableofearthlylove。Nothingmattered。Shemightaswellgoandbeusefultoherhusbandandtothelittleboywholookedexactlylikehim,andwho,shethought,wasexactlylikehimindisposition。ThenStephenwasborn,andalteredherlife。Shecouldstilllovepeoplepassionately;shestilldrewstrengthfromtheheroicpast。Yet,tokeeptoherbond,shemustseethissononlyasastranger。Shewasprotectedbetheconventions,andmustpaythemtheirfee。Andacuriousthinghappened。Hersecondchilddrewhertowardsherfirst。ShebegantoloveRickiealso,andtobemorethanusefultohim。Andasherloverevived,sodidhercapacityforsuffering。Life,moreimportant,grewmorebitter。
Shemindedherhusbandmore,notless;andwhenatlasthedied,andshesawagloriousautumn,beautifulwiththevoicesofboyswhoshouldcallhermother,theendcameforheraswell,beforeshecouldrememberthegraveinthealiennorthandthedustthatwouldneverreturntothedearfieldsthathadgivenit。
XXX
Stephen,thesonofthesepeople,hadoneinstinctthattroubledhim。Atnight——especiallyoutofdoors——itseemedratherstrangethathewasalive。Thedrygrassprickedhischeek,thefieldswereinvisibleandmute,andherewashe,throwingstonesatthedarknessorsmokingapipe。Thestonesvanished,thepipewouldburnout。Buthewouldbehereinthemorningwhenthesunrose,andhewouldbathe,andruninthemist。Hewasproudofhisgoodcirculation,andinthemorningitseemedquitenatural。Butatnight,whyshouldtherebethisdifferencebetweenhimandtheacresoflandthatcooledallroundhimuntilthesunreturned?
Whatluckychancehadheatedhimup,andsenthim,warmandlovable,intoapassiveworld?Hehadotherinstincts,butthesegavehimnotrouble。Hesimplygratifiedeachasitoccurred,providedhecoulddosowithoutgraveinjurytohisfellows。Buttheinstincttowonderatthenightwasnottobethusappeased。
AtfirsthehadlivedunderthecareofMr。Failingtheonlypersontowhomhismotherspokefreely,theonlypersonwhohadtreatedherneitherasacriminalnorasapioneer。Intheirrarebutintimateconversationsshehadaskedhimtoeducateherson。
"IwillteachhimLatin,"heanswered。"Therestsuchaboymustremember。"Latin,atallevents,wasafailure:whocouldattendtoVirgilwhenthesoundofthethresherarose,andyouknewthatthestackwasdecreasingandthatratsrushedmoreplentifullyeachmomenttotheirdoom?ButhewasfondofMr。Failing,andcriedwhenhedied。Mrs。Elliot,apleasantwoman,diedsoonafter。
Therewassomethingfatalintheorderofthesedeaths。Mr。
Failinghadmadenoprovisionfortheboyinhiswill:hiswifehadpromisedtoseetothis。ThencameMr。Elliot’sdeath,and,beforethenewhomewascreated,thesuddendeathofMrs。Elliot。
ShealsoleftStephennomoney:shehadnonetoleave。ChancethrewhimintothepowerofMrs。Failing。"Letthingsgoonastheyare,"shethought。"Iwilltakecareofthisprettylittleboy,andtheuglylittleboycanlivewiththeSilts。Aftermydeath——well,thepaperswillbefoundaftermydeath,andtheycanmeetthen。Iliketheideaoftheirmutualignorance。Itisamusing。"
Hewasthentwelve。Withafewbriefintervalsofschool,helivedinWiltshireuntilhewasdrivenout。Lifehadtwodistinctsides——thedrawing—roomandtheother。Inthedrawing—roompeopletalkedagooddeal,laughingastheytalked。Beingclever,theydidnotcareforanimals:onemanhadneverseenahedgehog。Intheotherlifepeopletalkedandlaughedseparately,orevendidneither。Onthewhole,inspiteofthewetandgamekeepers,thislifewaspreferable。Heknewwherehewas。Heglancedattheboy,orlaterattheman,andbehavedaccordingly。Therewasnolaw——
thepolicemanwasnegligible。Nothingboundhimbuthisownword,andhegavethatsparingly。
Itisimpossibletoberomanticwhenyouhaveyourheart’sdesire,andsuchaboydisappointedMrs。Failinggreatly。Hisparentshadmetforonebriefembrace,hadfoundonelittleintervalbetweenthepoweroftherulersofthisworldandthepowerofdeath。Hewasthechildofpoetryandofrebellion,andpoetryshouldruninhisveins。Buthelivedtoonearthethingshelovedtoseempoetical。Partedfromthem,hemightyetsatisfyher,andstretchouthishandswithapagan’syearning。Asitwas,heonlyrodeherhorses,andtrespassed,andbathed,andworked,fornoobviousreason,uponherfields。Affectionshedidnotbelievein,andmadenoattempttomouldhim;andhe,forhispart,wasverycontenttohardenuntouchedintoaman。Hisparentshadgivenhimexcellentgifts——health,sturdylimbs,andafacenotugly,——giftsthathishabitsconfirmed。Theyhadalsogivenhimacloudlessspirit——thespiritoftheseventeendaysinwhichhewascreated。Buttheyhadnotgivenhimthespiritoftheirsityearsofwaiting,andloveforonepersonwasnevertobethegreatestthingheknew。
"Philosophy"hadpostponedthequarrelbetweenthem。Incuriousabouthispersonalorigin,hehadacertaininterestinoureternalproblems。Theinterestneverbecameapassion:itsprangoutofhisphysicalgrowth,andwassoonmergedinitagain。Or,asheputithimself,"Imustgetfixedupbeforestarting。"Hewassoonfixedupasamaterialist。Thenhetoreupthesixpennyreprints,andneveramusedMrs。Failingsomuchagain。
Aboutthetimehefixedhimselfup,hetooktodrink。Heknewofnoreasonagainstit。Theinstinctwasinhim,andithurtnobody。Here,aselsewhere,hismotionsweredecided,andhepassedatoncefromroaringjollitytosilence。Forthosewholiveonthefuddledborderland,whocrawlhomebytherailingsandmaunderrepentanceinthemorning,hehadabitingcontempt。
Amanmusttakehistumbleandhisheadache。Hewas,infact,aslittledisgustingasisconceivable;andhithertohehadnotstrainedhisconstitutionorhiswill。NordidhegetdrunkasoftenasAgnessuggested。Thcrealquarrelgatheredelsewhere。
Presentablepeoplehaverunwildintheiryouth。Butthehourcomeswhentheyturnfromtheirboorishcompanytohigherthings。
ThishournevercameforStephen。Somewhatabullybynature,hekeptwherehispowerswouldtell,andcontinuedtoquarrelandplaywiththemenhehadknownasboys。Heprolongedtheiryouthunduly。"Theywon’tsettledown,"saidMr。Wilbrahamtohiswife。
"They’rewantingthings。It’sthegermofaTradesUnion。Ishallgetridofafewoftheworst。"ThenStephenrusheduptoMrs。
Failingandworriedher。"Itwasn’tfair。So—and—sowasagoodsort。Hedidhiswork。Keenaboutit?No。Whyshouldhebe?Whyshouldhebekeenaboutsomebodyelse’sland?Butkeenenough。
Andverykeenonfootball。"Shelaughed,andsaidawordaboutSo—and—sotoMr。Wilbraham。Mr。Wilbrahamblazedup。"Howcouldthefarmgoonwithoutdiscipline?HowcouldtherebedisciplineifMr。Stepheninterfered?Mr。Stephenlikedpower。Hespoketothemenlikeoneofthemselves,andpretendeditwasallequality,buthetookcaretocomeouttop。Natural,ofcourse,that,beingagentleman,heshould。Butnotnaturalforagentlemantoloiteralldaywithpoorpeopleandlearntheirwork,andputwrongnotionsintotheirheads,andcarrytheirnewfangledgrievancestoMrs。Failing。Whichpartlyaccountedforthedeficitonthepastyear。"SherebukedStephen。Thenhelosthistemper,wasrudetoher,andinsultedMr。Wilbraham。
TheworstdaysofMr。Failing’sruleseemedtobereturning。AndStephenhadapracticalexperience,andalsoatasteforbattle,thatherhusbandhadneverpossessed。Hedrewupalistofgrievances,someabsurd,othersfundamental。Nonewspapersinthereading—room,youcouldputaplateundertheThompsons’door,nolevelcricket—pitch,noallotmentsandnotimetoworkinthem,Mrs。Wilbraham’sknife—boyunderpaid。"Aren’tyoualittleunwise?"sheaskedcoldly。"Iammoreboredthanyouthinkoverthefarm。"Shewaswantingtocorrecttheproofsofthebookandrewritetheprefatorymemoir。InherirritationshewrotetoAgnes。Agnesrepliedsympathetically,andMrs。Failing,cleverasshewas,fellintothepoweroftheyoungerwoman。Theydiscussedhimatfirstasawretchofaboy;thenhegotdrunkandsomehowitseemedmorecriminal。Allthatsheneedednowwasapersonalgrievance,whichAgnescasuallysupplied。Thoughvindictive,shewasdeterminedtotreathimwell,andthoughtwithsatisfactionofourdistantcolonies。Butheburstintoanoddpassion:hewouldsoonerstarvethanleaveEngland。"Why?"sheasked。"Areyouinlove?"Hepickedupalumpofthechalk—theywerebythearbour——andmadenoanswer。Thevicarmurmured,"Itisnotlikegoingabroad——GreaterBritain——bloodisthickerthanwater——"A
lumpofchalkbrokeherdrawing—roomwindowontheSaturday。
ThusStephenleftWiltshire,half—blackguard,half—martyr。Donotbrandhimasasocialist。Hehadnoquarrelwithsociety,noranyparticularbeliefinpeoplebecausetheyarepoor。Heonlyheldthecreedof"hereamIandthereareyou,"andthereforeclassdistinctionsweretrivialthingstohim,andlifenodecorousscheme,butapersonalcombatorapersonaltruce。Forthesamereasonancestryalsowastrivial,andamannotthedearerbecausethesamewomanwasmothertothemboth。YetitseemedworthwhiletogotoSawstonwiththenews。Perhapsnothingwouldcomeofit;perhapsfriendlyintercourse,andahomewhilehelookedaround。
Whentheywrongedhimhewalkedquietlyaway。Heneverthoughtofallottingtheblame,nororappealingtoAnsell,whostillsatbroodingintheside—garden。Heonlyknewthateducatedpeoplecouldbehorrible,andthatacleanlivermustneverenterDunwoodHouseagain。Theairseemedstuffy。Hespatinthegutter。Wasityesterdayhehadlainintherifle—buttsoverSalisbury?Slightlyaggrieved,hewonderedwhyhewasnotbacktherenow。"Ioughttohavewrittenfirst,"hereflected。"Hereismymoneygone。Icannotmove。TheElliotshave,asitwere,practicallyrobbedme。"Thatwastheonlygrudgeheretainedagainstthem。Theirsuspicionsandinsultsweretohimasthecursesofatrampwhomhepassedbythewayside。Theyweredirtypeople,nothissort。Hesummedupthecomplicatedtragedyasa"takein。"
WhileRickiewasbeingcarriedupstairs,andwhileAnsell(hadheknownit)wasdashingaboutthestreetsforhim,helayunderarailwayarchtryingtosettlehisplans。Hemustpaybackthefriendswhohadgivenhimshillingsandclothes。HethoughtofFlea,whoseSundayshewasspoiling——poorFlea,whooughttobeinthemnow,shiningbeforehisgirl。"Idaresayhe’llbeashamedandnotgotoseeher,andthenshe’lltaketheotherman。"Hewasalsoveryhungry。ThatwormMrs。Elliotwouldbethroughherlunchbynow。Tryinghisbracesroundhim,andtearingupthoseoldwetdocuments,hesteppedforthtomakemoney。Avillainousyoungbrutehelooked:hisclothesweredirty,andhehadlostthespringofthemorning。Touchingthewalls,frowning,talkingtohimselfattimes,hesloucheddisconsolatelynorthwards;nowonderthatsometawdrygirlsscreamedathim,orthatmatronsavertedtheireyesastheyhurriedtoafternoonchurch。Hewanderedfromonesuburbtoanother,tillhewasamongpeoplemorevillainousthanhimself,whoboughthistobaccofromhimandsoldhimfood。Againtheneighbourhood"wentup,"andfamilies,insteadofsittingontheirdoorsteps,wouldsitbehindthickmuslincurtains。Againitwould"godown"intoamoreavoweddespair。Farintothenighthewandered,untilhecametoasolemnrivermajesticasastreaminhell。ThereinweregatheredthewatersofCentralEngland——thosethatflowoffHindhead,offtheChilterns,offWiltshirenorthofthePlain。Thereintheyweremadeintolerableeretheyreachedthesea。Butthewatershehadknownescaped。TheircourselaysouthwardintotheAvonbyforestsandbeautifulfields,evenswift,evenpure,untiltheymirroredthetowerofChristchurchandgreetedtherampartsoftheIsleofWight。Ofthesehethoughtforamomentashecrossedtheblackriverandenteredtheheartofthemodernworld。
Herehefoundemployment。Hewasnothamperedbygenteeltraditions,and,asitwasnearquarter—day,managedtogettakenonatafurniturewarehouse。HemovedpeoplefromthesuburbstoLondon,fromLondontothesuburbs,fromonesuburbtoanother。
Hiscompanionswerehurriedandquerulous。Inparticular,heloathedtheforeman,apioushumbugwhoallowednoswearing,butindulgedinsomethingfarmoredegraded——theCockneyrepartee。
TheLondonintellect,sopertandshallow,likeastreamthatneverreachestheocean,disgustedhimalmostasmuchastheLondonphysique,whichforallitsdexterityisnotpermanent,andseldomcontinuesintothethirdgeneration。Hisfather,hadheknownit,hadfeltthesame;forbetweenMr。Elliotandtheforemanthegulfwassocial,notspiritual:bothspenttheirlivesintryingtobeclever。AndTonyFailinghadonceputthethingintowords:"There’snosuchthingasaLondoner。He’sonlyacountrymanontheroadtosterility。"
Attheendoftendayshehadsavedscarcelyanything。Oncehepassedthebankwhereahundredpoundslayreadyforhim,butitwasstillinconvenientforhimtotakethem。ThendutysenthimtoasuburbnotveryfarfromSawston。Intheeveningamanwhowasdrivingatrapaskedhimtoholdit,andbymistaketippedhimasovereign。Stephencalledafterhim;butthemanhadawomanwithhimandwantedtoshowoff,andthoughhehadmeanttotipashilling,andcouldnotaffordthat,heshoutedbackthathissovereignwasasgoodasanyone’s,andthatifStephendidnotthinksohecoulddovariousthingsandgotovariousplaces。
Ontheactionofthismanmuchdepends。Stephenchangedthesovereignintoapostalorder,andsentitofftothepeopleatCadford。Itdidnotpaythemback,butitpaidthemsomething,andhefeltthathissoulwasfree。
Afewshillingsremainedinhispocket。TheywouldhavepaidhisfaretowardsWiltshire,agoodcounty;butwhatshouldhedothere?Whowouldemployhim?Todaythejourneydidnotseemworthwhile。"Tomorrow,perhaps,"hethought,anddeterminedtospendthemoneyonpleasureofanotherkind。Two—pencewentforarideonanelectrictram。Fromthetophesawthesundescend——adiscwithadarkrededge。ThesamesunwasdescendingoverSalisburyintolerablybright。Outofthegoldenhazethespirewouldbepiercing,likeapurpleneedle;thenmistsarosefromtheAvonandtheotherstreams。Lampsflickered,butintheouterpuritythevillageswerealreadyslumbering。SalisburyisonlyaGothicupstartbesidethese。Forgenerationstheyhavecomedowntohertobuyortoworship,andhavefoundinherthereasonablecrisisoftheirlives;butgenerationsbeforeshewasbuilttheywereclingingtothesoil,andrenewingitwithsheepanddogsandmen,whofoundthecrisisoftheirlivesuponStonehenge。ThebloodofthesemenraninStephen;thevigourtheyhadwonforhimwasasyetuntarnished;outonthosedownstheyhadunitedwithroughwomentomakethethinghespokeofas"himself";thelastofthemhasrescuedawomanofadifferentkindfromstreetsandhousessuchasthese。Asthesundescendedhegotoffthetramwithasmileofexpectation。Apublic—houselayopposite,andaboyinadirtyuniformwasalreadylightingitsenormouslamp。
Hislipsparted,andhewentin。
Twohourslater,whenRickieandHerbertweregoingtherounds,abrickcamecrashingatthestudywindow。Herbertpeeredintothegarden,andahooliganslippedbyhimintothehouse,wreckedthehall,lurchedupthestairs,fellagainstthebanisters,balancedforamomentonhisspine,andslidover。Herbertcalledforthepolice。Rickie,whowasuponthelanding,caughtthemanbythekneesandsavedhislife。
"Whatisit?"criedAgnes,emerging。
"It’sStephencomeback,"wastheanswer。"Hullo,Stephen!"
XXXI
HitherhadRickiemovedintendays——fromdisgusttopenitence,frompenitencetolongingfromalifeofhorrortoanewlife,inwhichhestillsurprisedhimselfbyunexpectedwords。Hullo,Stephen!Forthesonofhismotherhadcomeback,toforgivehim,asshewouldhavedone,tolivewithhim,asshehadplanned。
"He’sdrunkthistime,"saidAgneswearily。Shetoohadaltered:
thescandalwasageingher,andAnsellcametothehousedaily。
"Hullo,Stephen!"
ButStephenwasnowinsensible。
"Stephen,youlivehere——"
"Goodgraciousme!"interposedHerbert。"Myadviceis,thatweallgotobed。Thelesssaidthebetterwhileournervesareinthisstate。Verywell,Rickie。Ofcourse,Wonhamsleepsthenightifyouwish。"Theycarriedthedrunkenmassintothespareroom。Amassofscandalitseemedtooneofthem,asymbolofredemptiontotheother。Neitheracknowledgeditaman,whowouldanswerthembackafterafewhours’rest。
"Ansellthoughthewouldneverforgiveme,"saidRickie。"Foroncehe’swrong。"
"Cometobednow,Ithink。"AndasRickielaidhishandonthesleeper’shair,headded,"Youwon’tdoanythingfoolish,willyou?Youarestillinamorbidstate。Yourpoormother——Pardonme,dearboy;itismyturntospeakout。Youthoughtitwasyourfather,andminded。Itisyourmother。Surelyyououghttomindmore?"
"Ihavebeentoofarback,"saidRickiegently。"Anselltookmeonajourneythatwasevennewtohim。Wegotbehindrightandwrong,toaplacewhereonlyonethingmatters——thattheBelovedshouldrisefromthedead。"
"Butyouwon’tdoanythingrash?"
"WhyshouldI?"
"RememberpoorAgnes,"hestammered。"I——Iamthefirsttoacknowledgethatwemighthavepursuedadifferentpolicy。Butwearecommittedtoitnow。Itmakesnodifferencewhosesonheis。
Imean,heisthesameperson。YouandIandmysisterstandorfalltogether。Itwasouragreementfromthefirst。Ihope——Nomoreofthesedistressingsceneswithher,there’sadearfellow。Iassureyoutheymakemyheartbleed。"
"Thingswillquietdownnow。"
"Tobednow;Iinsistuponthatmuch。"
"Verywell,"saidRickie,andwhentheywereinthepassage,lockedthedoorfromtheoutside。"Wewantnomoremuddles,"heexplained。
Mr。Pembrokewasleftexaminingthehall。ThebustofHermeswasbroken。Sowasthepotofthepalm。HecouldnotgotobedwithoutoncemoresoundingRickie。"You’lldonothingrash,"hecalled。
"Thenotionofhimlivingherewas,ofcourse,apassingimpulse。Wethreehaveadoptedacommonpolicy。"
"Now,yougoaway!"calledavoicethatwasalmostflippant。"I
neverdidbelongtothatgreatsectwhosedoctrineisthateachoneshouldselect——atleast,I’mnotgoingtobelongtoitanylonger。Goawaytobed。"
"Agoodnight’srestiswhatyouneed,"threatenedHerbert,andretired,nottofindoneforhimself。
ButRickieslept。Theguiltofmonthsandtheremorseofthelasttendayshadalikedeparted。Hehadthoughtthathislifewaspoisoned,andlo!itwaspurified。Hehadcursedhismother,andAnsellhadreplied,"Youmayberight,butyoustandtooneartosettle。Stepbackwards。Pretendthatithappenedtome。Doyouwantmetocursemymother?Now,stepforwardandseewhetheranythinghaschanged。"Somethinghadchanged。Hehadjourneyed——
asonrareoccasionsamanmust——tillhestoodbehindrightandwrong。Onthebanksofthegreytorrentoflife,loveistheonlyflower。AlittlewayupthestreamandalittlewaydownhadRickieglanced,andheknewthatshewhomhelovedhadrisenfromthedead,andmightriseagain。"Comeaway——letthemdieout——letthemdieout。"Surelythatdreamwasavision!To—nightalsohehurriedtothewindow——toremember,withasmile,thatOrionisnotamongthestarsofJune。
"Letmedieout。Shewillcontinue,"hemurmured,andinmakingplansforStephen’shappiness,fellasleep。
NextmorningafterbreakfastheannouncedthathisbrothermustliveatDunwoodHouse。Theywereawedbytheverymoderationofhistone。"There’snothingelsetobedone。Cadover’shopeless,andaboyofthosetendenciescan’tgodrifting。Thereisalsothequestionofaprofessionforhim,andhisallowance。"
"WehavetothankMr。Ansellforthis,"wasallthatAgnescouldsay;and"Iforeseedisaster,"wasthecontributionofHerbert。
"There’splentyofmoneyabout,"Rickiecontinued。"Quiteaman’s—worthtoomuch。Ithasbeenoneofourabsurdities。Don’tlooksosad,Herbert。I’msorryforyoupeople,buthe’ssuretoletusdowneasy。"ForhisexperienceofdrunkardsandofStephenwassmall。
Hesupposedthathehadcomewithoutmalicetorenewtheofferoftendaysago。
"ItistheendofDunwoodHouse。"
Rickienodded,andhopednot。Agnes,whowasnotlookingwell,begantocry。"Oh,itistoobad,"shecomplained,"whenI’vesavedyoufromhimalltheseyears。"Buthecouldnotpityher,norevensympathizewithherwoundeddelicacy。Thetimeforsuchnonsensewasover。Hewouldtakehisshareoftheblame:itwascanttoassumeitall。
Perhapshewasover—hard。Hedidnotrealizehowlargehissharewas,norhowhisveryvirtuesweretoblameforherdeterioration。
"IfIhadagirl,I’dkeepherinline,"isnottheremarkofafoolnorofacad。Rickiehadnotkepthiswifeinline。Hehadshownheralltheworkingsofhissoul,mistakingthisforlove;
andinconsequenceshewastheworsewomanaftertwoyearsofmarriage,andhe,onthismorningoffreedom,washarderuponherthanheneedhavebeen。
Thespareroombellrang。Herberthadapainfulstrugglebetweencuriosityandduty,forthebellforchapelwasringingalso,andhemustgothroughthedrizzletoschool。Hepromisedtocomeupintheinterval,Rickie,whohadrappedhisheadthatSundayontheedgeofthetable,wasstillforbiddentowork。Beforehimaquietmorninglay。Secureofhisvictory,hetooktheportraitoftheirmotherinhishandandwalkedleisurelyupstairs。Thebellcontinuedtoring。
"Seeabouthisbreakfast,"hecalledtoAgnes,whoreplied,"Verywell。"Thehandleofthespareroomdoorwasmovingslowly。"I’mcoming,"hecried。Thehandlewasstill。Heunlockedandentered,hisheartfullofcharity。
Butwithinstoodamanwhoprobablyownedtheworld。
Rickiescarcelyknewhim;lastnighthehadseemedsocolorless,nonegligible。Inafewhourshehadrecapturedmotionandpassionandtheimprintofthesunlightandthewind。Hestood,notconsciouslyheroic,witharmsthatdangledfrombroadstoopingshoulders,andfeetthatplayedwithahassockonthecarpet。Buthishairwasbeautifulagainstthegreysky,andhiseyes,recallingtheskyunclouded,shotpasttheintruderasiftosomeworthiervision。SointentwastheirgazethatRickiehimselfglancedbackwards,onlytoseetheneatpassageandthebanistersatthetopofthestairs。Thenthelipsbeattogethertwice,andoutburstatorrentofamazingwords。
"Additallup,andletmeknowhowmuch。I’dsoonerhavedied。
Itnevertookmethatwaybefore。Imusthavebrokenpounds’worth。
Ifyou’llnottellthepolice,Ipromiseyoushan’tlose,Mr。
Elliot,Iswear。ButitmaybemonthsbeforeIsendit。
Everythingistobenew。You’venottobeapennyoutofpocket,doyousee?Doletmego,thisonceagain。"
"What’sthetrouble?"askedRickie,asiftheyhadbeenfriendsforyears。"Mydearman,we’veotherthingstotalkabout。
Graciousme,whatafuss!Ifyou’dsmashedthewholehouseI
wouldn’tmind,solongasyoucameback。"
"I’dsoonerhavedied,"gulpedStephen。
"Youdidnearly!ItwasIwhocaughtyou。Nevermindyesterday’srag。Whatcanyoumanageforbreakfast?"
Thefacegrewmoreangryandmorepuzzled。"Yesterdaywasn’tarag,"hesaidwithoutfocusinghiseyes。"Iwasdrunk,butnaturallymeantit。"
"Meantwhat?"
"Tosmashyou。BadliquordidwhatMrs。Elliotcouldn’t。I’veputmyselfinthewrong。You’vegotme。"
Itwasapoorbeginning。
"AsIhavegotyou,"saidRickie,controllinghimself,"Iwanttohaveatalkwithyou。Therehasbeenaghastlymistake。"
ButStephen,withacountryman’spersistency,continuedonhisownline。Hemeanttobecivil,butRickiewentcoldroundthemouth。Forhehadnotevenbeenangrywiththem。Untilhewasdrunk,theyhadbeendirtypeople——nothissort。Thenthetrivialinjuryrecurred,andhehadreeledtosmashthemashepassed。
"AndIwillpayforeverything,"washisrefrain,withwhichthesighingofraindropsmingled。"Youshan’tloseapenny,ifonlyyouletmefree。"
"You’llpayformycoffinifyoutalklikethatanylonger!Willyou,one,forgivemyfrightfulbehaviour;two,livewithme?"Forhisonlyhopewasinacheerfulprecision。
Stephengrewmoreagitated。Hethoughtitwassometrick。
"IwassayingImadeanunspeakablemistake。Ansellputmeright,butitwastoolatetofindyou。Don’tthinkIgotoffeasily。
Anselldoesn’tspareone。Andyou’vegottoforgiveme,tosharemylife,tosharemymoney。——I’vebroughtyouthisphotograph——I
wantittobethefirstthingyouacceptfromme——youhavethegreaterright——Iknowallthestorynow。Youknowwhoitis?"
"Ohyes;butIdon’twanttodragallthatin。"
第18章