TosaythatRickiewasacat’s—pawistoputittoostrongly。
　　Herbertwasstrictlyhonourable，andneverpushedhimintoanillegalorreallydangerousposition;butthereisnodoubtthatonthisandonmanyotheroccasionshehadtodothingsthathewouldnototherwisehavedone。Therewasalwayssomediplomaticcornerthathadtobeturned，alwayssomethingthathehadtosayornottosay。Asthetermworeonhelosthisindependence——
　　almostwithoutknowingit。Hehadmuchtolearnaboutboys，andhelearntnotbydirectobservation——forwhichhebelievedhewasunfitted——butbysedulousimitationofthemoreexperiencedmasters。Originallyhehadintendedtobefriendswithhispupils，andMr。Pembrokecommendedtheintentionhighly;butyoucannotbefriendseitherwithboyormanunlessyougiveyourselfawayintheprocess，andMr。Pembrokedidnotcommendthis。He，for"personalintercourse，"substitutedthesafer"personalinfluence，"andgavehisjuniorhintsonthesettingofkindlytraps，inwhichtheboydoesgivehimselfawayandrevealshisshydelicatethoughts，whilethemaster，intact，commendsorcorrectsthem。OriginallyRickiehadmeanttohelpboysintheanxietiesthattheyundergowhenchangingintomen:atCambridgehehadnumberedthisamonglife’sduties。Buthereisasubjectinwhichwemustinevitablyspeakasonehumanbeingtoanother，notasonewhohasauthorityortheshadowofauthority，andforthisreasontheelderschool—mastercouldsuggestnothingbutafewformulae。Formulae，likekindlytraps，werenotinRickie’sline，soheabandonedthesesubjectsaltogetherandconfinedhimselftoworkinghardatwhatwaseasy。InthehousehedidasHerbertdid，andreferredalldoubtfulsubjectstohim。Inhisform，oddlyenough，hebecameamartinet。Itissomuchsimplertobesevere。Hegraspedtheschoolregulations，andinsistedonpromptobediencetothem。Headoptedthedoctrineofcollectiveresponsibility。Whenoneboywaslate，hepunishedthewholeform。"Ican’thelpit，"hewouldsay，asifhewasapowerofnature。Asateacherhewasratherdull。Hecurbedhisownenthusiasms，findingthattheydistractedhisattention，andthatwhilehethrobbedtothemusicofVirgiltheboysinthebackrowweregettingunruly。Butonthewholehelikedhisformwork:heknewwhyhewasthere，andHerbertdidnotovershadowhimsocompletely。
　　WhatwasamisswithHerbert？Hehadknownthatsomethingwasamiss，andhadenteredintopartnershipwithopeneyes。Themanwaskindandunselfish;morethanthathewastrulycharitable，anditwasarealpleasuretohimtogive——pleasuretoothers。
　　Certainlyhemighttalktoomuchaboutitafterwards;butitwasthedoing，notthetalking，thathereallyvalued，andbenefactorsofthissortarenottoocommon。Hewas，moreover，diligentandconscientious:hisheartwasinhiswork，andhisadherencetotheChurchofEnglandnomerematterofform。Hewascapableofaffection:hewasusuallycourteousandtolerant。Thenwhatwasamiss？Why，inspiteofallthesequalities，shouldRickiefeelthattherewassomethingwrongwithhim——nay，thathewaswrongasawhole，andthatiftheSpiritofHumanityshouldeverholdajudgmenthewouldassuredlybeclassedamongthegoats？Theansweratfirstsightappearedagracelessone——itwasthatHerbertwasstupid。Notstupidintheordinarysense——hehadabusiness—likebrain，andacquiredknowledgeeasily——butstupidintheimportantsense:hiswholelifewascolouredbyacontemptoftheintellect。Thathehadatolerableintellectofhisownwasnotthepoint:itisinwhatwevalue，notinwhatwehave，thatthetestofusresides。Now，Rickie’sintellectwasnotremarkable。Hecametohisworthierresultsratherbyimaginationandinstinctthanbylogic。Anargumentconfusedhim，andhecouldwithdifficultyfollowitevenonpaper。Buthesawinthisnoreasonforsatisfaction，andtriedtomakesuchuseofhisbrainashecould，justasaweakathletemightlovinglyexercisehisbody。Likeaweakathlete，too，helovedtowatchtheexploits，orrathertheefforts，ofothers——theireffortsnotsomuchtoacquireknowledgeastodispelalittleofthedarknessbywhichweandallouracquisitionsaresurrounded。Cambridgehadtaughthimthis，andheknew，iffornootherreason，thathistimetherehadnotbeeninvain。AndHerbert’scontemptforsucheffortsrevoltedhim。Hesawthatforallhisfinetalkaboutaspirituallifehehadbutonetestforthings——success:
　　successforthebodyinthislifeorforthesoulinthelifetocome。AndforthisreasonHumanity，andperhapssuchothertribunalsastheremaybe，wouldassuredlyrejecthim。
　　XVIII
　　Meanwhilehewasahusband。Perhapshisunionshouldhavebeenemphasizedbefore。Thecrownoflifehadbeenattained，thevagueyearnings，themisreadimpulses，hadfoundaccomplishmentatlast。Neveragainmusthefeellonely，orasonewhostandsoutofthebroadhighwayoftheworldandfears，likepoorShelley，toundertakethelongestjourney。Sohereasoned，andatfirsttooktheaccomplishmentforgranted。Butasthetermpassedheknewthatbehindtheyearningthereremainedayearning，behindthedrawnveilaveilthathecouldnotdraw。Hisweddinghadbeennomightylandmark:hewouldoftenwonderwhethersuchandsuchaspeechorincidentcameafteritorbefore。SincethatmeetingintheSohorestauranttherehadbeensomuchtodo——
　　clothestobuy，presentstothankfor，abriefvisittoaTrainingCollege，ahoneymoonasbrief。Insuchabustle，whatspiritualunioncouldtakeplace？Surelythedustwouldsettlesoon:inItaly，atEaster，hemightperceivetheinfinitiesoflove。Butlovehadshownhimitsinfinitiesalready。Neitherbymarriagenorbyanyotherdevicecanmeninsurethemselvesavision;andRickie’shadbeengrantedhimthreeyearsbefore，whenhehadseenhiswifeandadeadmanclaspedineachother’sarms。Shewasnevertobesorealtohimagain。
　　Sheranaboutthehouselookinghandsomerthanever。Hercheerfulvoicegaveorderstotheservants。Ashesatinthestudycorrectingcompositions，shewoulddartinandgivehimakiss。
　　"Deargirl——"hewouldmurmur，withaglanceattheringsonherhand。Thetoneoftheirmarriagelifewassoonset。Itwastobeafrankgood—fellowship，andbeforelonghefounditdifficulttospeakinadeeperkey。
　　Oneeveninghemadetheeffort。TherehadbeenmorebeautythanwasusualatSawston。Theairwaspureandquiet。Tomorrowthefogmightbehere，buttodayonesaid，"Itislikethecountry。"
　　Arminarmtheystrolledintheside—garden，stoppingattimestonoticethecrocuses，ortowonderwhenthedaffodilswouldflower。Suddenlyhetightenedhispressure，andsaid，"Darling，whydon’tyoustillwearear—rings？"
　　"Ear—rings？"Shelaughed。"Mytastehasimproved，perhaps。"
　　SoafteralltheynevermentionedGerald’sname。Buthehopeditwasstilldeartoher。Hedidnotwanthertoforgetthegreatestmomentinherlife。Hislovedesirednotownershipbutconfidence，andtoalovesopureitdoesnotseemterribletocomesecond。
　　Hevaluedemotion——notforitself，butbecauseitistheonlyfinalpathtointimacy。She，everrobustandpractical，alwaysdiscouragedhim。Shewasnotcold;shewouldwillinglyembracehim。Butshehatedbeingupset，andwouldlaughorthrusthimoffwhenhisvoicegrewserious。Inthissheremindedhimofhismother。Buthismother——hehadneverconcealeditfromhimself——
　　hadgloriestowhichhiswifewouldneverattain:gloriesthathadunfoldedagainstalifeofhorror——alifeevenmorehorriblethanhehadguessed。Hethoughtofheroftenduringtheseearliermonths。Didsheblesshisunion，sodifferenttoherown？Didshelovehiswife？HetriedtospeakofhertoAgnes，butagainshewasreluctant。Andperhapsitwasthisaversiontoacknowledgethedead，whoseimagesalonehaveimmortality，thatmadeherownimagesomewhattransient，sothatwhenhelefthernomysticinfluenceremained，andonlybyaneffortcouldherealizethatGodhadunitedthemforever。
　　Theyconversedanddifferedhealthilyuponothertopics。Ariflecorpswastobeformed:shehopedthattheboyswouldhaveproperuniforms，insteadofshootingintheiroldclothes，asMr。
　　Jacksonhadsuggested。TherewasTewson;couldnothingbedoneabouthim？Hewouldslinkawayfromtheotherprefectsandgowithboysofhisownage。TherewasLloyd:hewouldnotlearntheschoolanthem，sayingthatithurthisthroat。AndabovealltherewasVarden，who，toRickie’sbewilderment，wasnowamemberofDunwoodHouse。
　　"Hehadtogosomewhere，"saidAgnes。"Luckyforhismotherthatwehadavacancy。"
　　"Yes——butwhenImeetMrs。Orr——Ican’thelpfeelingashamed。"
　　"Oh，Mrs。Orr！Whocaresforher？Herteetharedrawn。Ifshechoosestoinsinuatethatweplannedit，lether。Herswasrankdishonesty。Sheattemptedtosetupaboarding—house。"
　　Mrs。Orr，whowasquiterich，hadattemptednosuchthing。Shehadtakentheboyoutofcharity，andwithoutathoughtofbeingunconstitutional。Butinhadcomethisofficious"Limpet"andupsettheheadmaster，andshewasscolded，andMrs。Vardenwasscolded，andMr。Jacksonwasscolded，andtheboywasscoldedandplacedwithMr。Pembroke，whomshereveredlessthananymanintheworld。Naturallyenough，sheconsidereditafurtherattemptoftheauthoritiestosnubtheday—boys，forwhoseadvantagetheschoolhadbeenfounded。SheandMrs。Jacksondiscussedthesubjectattheirtea—parties，andthelatterladywassurethatnogood，nogoodofanykind，wouldcometoDunwoodHousefromsuchill—gottenplunder。
　　"Wesay，’Letthemtalk，’"persistedRickie，"butIneverdidlikelettingpeopletalk。Wearerightandtheyarewrong，butI
　　wishthethingcouldhavebeendonemorequietly。Theheadmasterdoesgetsoexcited。Hehasgivenagangoffoolishpeopletheiropportunity。Idon’tlikebeingbrandedastheday—boy’sfoe，whenIthinkhowmuchIwouldhavegiventobeaday—boymyself。
　　Myfatherfoundmeanuisance，andputmethroughthemill，andI
　　canneverforgetitparticularlytheevenings。"
　　"There’sverylittlebullyinghere，"saidAgnes。
　　"Therewasverylittlebullyingatmyschool。Therewassimplytheatmosphereofunkindness，whichnodisciplinecandispel。It’snotwhatpeopledotoyou，butwhattheymean，thathurts。"
　　"Idon’tunderstand。"
　　"Physicalpaindoesn’thurt——atleastnotwhatIcallhurt——ifamanhitsyoubyaccidentorplay。Butjustalittletap，whenyouknowitcomesfromhatred，istooterrible。Boysdohateeachother:Irememberit，andseeitagain。Theycanmakestrongisolatedfriendships，butofgeneralgood—fellowshiptheyhaven’tanotion。"
　　"AllIknowisthere’sverylittlebullyinghere。"
　　"Yousee，thenotionofgood—fellowshipdevelopslate:youcanjustseeitsbeginninghereamongtheprefects:upatCambridgeitflourishesamazingly。That’swhyIpitypeoplewhodon’tgouptoCambridge:notbecauseaUniversityissmart，butbecausethosearethemagicyears，and——withluck——youseeuptherewhatyoucouldn’tseebeforeandmayn’teverseeagain。
　　"Aren’tthesethemagicyears？"theladydemanded。
　　Helaughedandhitather。"I’mgettingsomewhatinvolved。Buthearme，OAgnes，forIampractical。Iapproveofourpublicschools。Longmaythey，flourish。ButIdonotapproveoftheboarding—housesystem。Itisn’taninevitableadjunct——"
　　"Goodgraciousme！"sheshrieked。"Haveyougonemad？"
　　"Silence，madam。Don’tbetraymetoHerbert，orI’llgiveusthesack。Butseriously，whatisthegoodof，throwingboyssomuchtogether？Isn’titbuildingtheirlivesonawrongbasis？Theydon’tunderstandeachother。Iwishtheydid，buttheydon’t。
　　Theydon’trealizethathumanbeingsaresimplymarvellous。
　　Whentheydo，thewholeoflifechanges，andyougetthetruething。Butdon’tpretendyou’vegotitbeforeyouhave。
　　Patriotismandespritdecorpsareallverywell，butmastersalittleforgetthattheymustgrowfromsentiment。Theycannotcreateone。Cannot—cannot——cannot。InevercaredastrawforEnglanduntilIcaredforEnglishmen，andboyscan’tlovetheschoolwhentheyhateeachother。Ladiesandgentlemen，Iwillnowconcludemyaddress。AndmostofitiscopiedoutofMr。
　　Ansell。"
　　Thetruthis，hewassuddenlyashamed。Hehadbeencarriedawayonthefloodofhisoldemotions。Cambridgeandallthatitmeanthadstoodbeforehimpassionatelyclear，andbesideitstoodhismotherandthesweetfamilylifewhichnursesupaboyuntilhecansalutehisequals。Hewasashamed，forherememberedhisnewresolution——toworkwithoutcriticizing，tothrowhimselfvigorouslyintothemachine，nottomindifhewaspinchednowandthenbytheelaboratewheels。
　　"Mr。Ansell！"criedhiswife，laughingsomewhatshrilly。"Aha！
　　NowIunderstand。It’sjustthekindofthingpoorMr。Ansellwouldsay。Well，I’mbrutal。IbelieveitdoesVardengoodtohavehisearspullednowandthen，andIdon’tcarewhethertheypulltheminplayornot。Boysoughttoroughit，ortheynevergrowupintomen，andyourmotherwouldhaveagreedwithme。Ohyes;andyou’reallwrongaboutpatriotism。Itcan，can，createasentiment。"
　　Shewasunusuallyprecise，andhadfollowedhisthoughtswithanattentionthatwasalsounusual。Hewonderedwhethershewasnotright，andregrettedthatsheproceededtosay，"Mydearboy，youmustn’ttalktheseheresiesinsideDunwoodHouse！YousoundjustlikeoneofthatreactionaryJacksonset，whowanttoflingtheschoolbackahundredyearsandhavenothingbutday—boysalldressedanyhow。"
　　"TheJacksonsethavetheirpoints。"
　　"You’dbetterjoinit。"
　　"TheDunwoodHousesethasitspoints。"ForRickiesufferedfromthePrimalCurse，whichisnot——astheAuthorizedVersionsuggests——theknowledgeofgoodandevil，buttheknowledgeofgood—and—evil。
　　"ThensticktotheDunwoodHouseset。"
　　"Ido，andshall。"Againhewasashamed。Whywouldheseetheothersideofthings？Herebukedhissoul，notunsuccessfully，andthentheyreturnedtothesubjectofVarden。
　　"I’mcertainhesuffers，"saidhe，forshewoulddonothingbutlaugh。"Eachboywhopassespullshisears——veryfunny，nodoubt;
　　buteverydaytheystickoutmoreandgetredder，andthisafternoon，whenhedidn’tknowhewasbeingwatched，hewasholdinghisheadandmoaning。Ihatethelookabouthiseyes。"
　　"Ihatethewholeboy。Nastyweedything。"
　　"Well，I’manastyweedything，ifitcomestothat。"
　　"No，youaren’t，"shecried，kissinghim。Butheledherbacktothesubject。Couldnothingbesuggested？Hedrewupsomenewrules——alterationsinthetimesofgoingtobed，andsoon——theeffectofwhichwouldbetoprovidefeweropportunitiesforthepullingofVarden’sears。TherulesweresubmittedtoHerbert，whosympathizedwithweaklinessmorethandidhissister，andgavethemhiscarefulconsideration。Butunfortunatelytheycollidedwithotherrules，andonacloserexaminationhefoundthattheyalsorancontrarytothefundamentalsonwhichthegovernmentofDunwoodHousewasbased。Sonothingwasdone。Agneswasratherpleased，andtooktoteasingherhusbandaboutVarden。
　　Atlastheaskedhertostop。Hefeltuneasyabouttheboy——
　　almostsuperstitious。Hisfirstmorning’sworkhadbroughtsixtypoundsayeartotheirhotel。
　　XIX
　　TheydidnotgettoItalyatEaster。Herberthadtheofferofsomeprivatepupils，andneededRickie’shelp。ItseemedunreasonabletoleaveEnglandwhenmoneywastobemadeinit，sotheywenttoIlfracombeinstead。Theyspentthreeweeksamongthenaturaladvantagesandunnaturaldisadvantagesofthatresort。Itwasoutoftheseason，andtheyencampedinahugehotel，whichtookthematareduction。ByadisastrouschancetheJacksonsweredowntheretoo，andagooddealofconstrainedcivilityhadtopassbetweenthetwofamilies。ConstraineditwasnotinMr。
　　Jackson’scase。Atalltimeshewasreadytotalk，andaslongastheykeptofftheschoolitwaspleasantenough。Buthewasveryindiscreet，andfemininetacthadoftentointervene。"Goaway，dearladies，"hewouldthenobserve。"Youthinkyouseelifebecauseyouseethechasmsinit。Yetallthechasmsarefulloffemaleskeletons。"Theladiessmiledanxiously。ToRickiehewasfriendlyandevenintimate。TheyhadlongtalksonthedesertedCapstone，whiletheirwivessatreadingintheWinterGardenandMr。Pembrokekeptaneyeuponthetutoredyouths。"OnceIhadtutoredyouths，"saidMr。Jackson，"butIlostthemallbylettingthempaddlewithmynieces。Itissoimpossibletorememberwhatisproper。"Andsoonerorlatertheirtalkgravitatedtowardshiscentralpassion——theFragmentsofSophocles。Someday（"never，"saidHerbert）hewouldeditthem。
　　Atpresenttheyweremerelyinhisblood。Withthezealofascholarandtheimaginationofapoethereconstructedlostdramas——Niobe，Phaedra，PhiloctetesagainstTroy，whosenames，butforanaccident，wouldhavethrilledtheworld。"Isitworthit？"hecried。"Hadwebetterbeplantingpotatoes？"Andthen:
　　"Wehad;butthisisthesecondbest。"
　　Agnesdidnotapproveofthesecolloquies。Mr。Jacksonwasnotabuffoon，buthebehavedlikeone，whichiswhatmatters;andfromtheWinterGardenshecouldseepeoplelaughingathim，andatherhusband，whogotexcitedtoo。Shehintedonceortwice，butnonoticewastaken，andatlastshesaidrathersharply，"Now，you’renotto，Rickie。Iwon’thaveit。"
　　"He’satypethatsuitsme。HeknowspeopleIknow，orwouldliketohaveknown。HewasafriendofTonyFailing’s。Itissohardtorealizethatamanconnectedwithonewasgreat。UncleTonyseemstohavebeen。Helovedpoetryandmusicandpictures，andeverythingtemptedhimtoliveinakindofculturedparadise，withthedoorshutuponsqualor。Buttohavemoredecentpeopleintheworld——hesacrificedeverythingtothat。Hewouldhave’smashedthewholebeauty—shop’ifitwouldhelphim。Ireallycouldn’tgoasfarasthat。Idon’tthinkoneneedgoasfar——
　　picturesmighthavetobesmashed，butnotmusicorpoetry;
　　surelytheyhelp——andJacksondoesn’tthinksoeither。"
　　"Well，Iwon’thaveit，andthat’senough。"Shelaughed，forhervoicehadalittlebeenthatoftheprofessionalscold。"Youseewemusthangtogether。He’sinthereactionarycamp。"
　　"Hedoesn’tknowit。Hedoesn’tknowthatheisinanycampatall。"
　　"Hiswifeis，whichcomestothesame。"
　　"Still，it’stheholidays——"HeandMr。Jacksonhaddriftedapartintheterm，chieflyowingtotheaffairofVarden。"Weweretohavetheholidaystoourselves，youknow。"Andfollowingsomelineofthought，hecontinued，"Hecheersoneup。Hedoesbelieveinpoetry。Smart，sentimentalbooksdoseemabsolutelyabsurdtohim，andgodsandfairiesfarnearertoreality。HetriestoexpressallmodernlifeinthetermsofGreekmythology，becausetheGreekslookedverystraightatthings，andDemeterorAphroditearethinnerveilsthan’Thesurvivalofthefittest’，or’Amarriagehasbeenarranged，’andotherdraperiesofmodernjournalese。"
　　"Anddoyouknowwhatthatmeans？"
　　"Itmeansthatpoetry，notprose，liesatthecore。"
　　"No。Icantellyouwhatitmeans——balder—dash。"
　　Hismouthfell。Shewassweepingawaythecobwebswithavengeance。"Ihopeyou’rewrong，"hereplied，"forthosearethelinesonwhichI’vebeenwriting，howeverbadly，forthelasttwoyears。"
　　"Butyouwritestories，notpoems。"
　　Helookedathiswatch。"Lessonsagain。Oneneverhasamoment’speace。"
　　"PoorRickie。Youshallhavearealholidayinthesummer。"Andshecalledafterhimtosay，"Remember，dear，aboutMr。Jackson。
　　Don’tgotalkingsomuchtohim。"
　　Ratherarbitrary。Hertonehadbeenalittlearbitraryoflate。
　　Butwhatdiditmatter？Mr。Jacksonwasnotafriend，andhemustriskthechanceofoffendingWiddrington。AfterthelessonhewrotetoAnsell，whomhehadnotseensinceJune，askinghimtocomedowntoIlfracombe，ifonlyforaday。Onreadingtheletterover，itstonedispleasedhim。Itwasquitepathetic:itsoundedlikeacryfromprison。"Ican’tsendhimsuchnonsense，"hethought，andwroteagain。Butphraseitashewouldtheletteralwayssuggestedthathewasunhappy。"What’swrong？"hewondered。"IcouldwriteanythingIwantedtohimonce。"Sohescrawled"Come！"onapost—card。Buteventhisseemedtooserious。Thepost—cardfollowedtheletters，andAgnesfoundthemallinthewaste—paperbasket。
　　Thenshesaid，"I’vebeenthinking——oughtn’tyoutoaskMr。
　　Ansellover？Abreathofseaairwoulddothepoorthinggood。"
　　Therewasnodifficultynow。Hewroteatonce，"MydearStewart，Webothsomuchwishyoucouldcomeover。"Buttheinvitationwasrefused。Alittleuneasyhewroteagain，usingthedialectoftheirpastintimacy。Theeffectofthisletterwasnotpatheticbutjaunty，andhefeltakeenregretassoonasitslippedintothebox。Itwasarelieftoreceivenoreply。
　　Hebroodedagooddealoverthispainfulyetintangibleepisode。
　　Wasthepainallofhisowncreating？orhaditbeenproducedbysomethingexternal？Andhegottheanswerthatbroodingalwaysgives——itwasboth。Hewasmorbid，andhadbeensosincehisvisittoCadover——quickertoregisterdiscomfortthanjoy。But，nonetheless，Ansellwasdefinitelybrutal，andAgnesdefinitelyjealous。Brutalityhecouldunderstand，alienasitwastohimself。Jealousy，equallyalien，wasahardermatter。Lethusbandandwifebeassunandmoon，orasmoonandsun。Shalltheythereforenotgivegreetingtothestars？Hewaswillingtograntthatthelovethatinspiredhermightbehigherthanhisown。Yetdiditnotexcludethembothfrommuchthatisgracious？
　　ThatdreamofhiswhenherodeontheWiltshireexpanses——acuriousdream:thelarksilent，theearthdissolving。Andheawokefromitintoavalleyfullofmen。
　　Shewasjealousinmanyways——sometimesinanopenhumorousfashion，sometimesmoresubtly，nevercontenttill"we"hadextendedourpatronage，and，ifpossible，ourpity。ShebegantopatronizeandpityAnsell，andmostsincerelytrustedthathewouldgethisfellowship。Otherwisewhatwasthepoorfellowtodo？Ridiculousasitmayseem，shewasevenjealousofNature。
　　OnedayherhusbandescapedfromIlfracombetoMorthoe，andcamebackecstaticoveritsfangsofslate，piercinganoilysea。
　　"Soundslikeanhippopotamus，"shesaidpeevishly。AndwhentheyreturnedtoSawstonthroughtheVirgiliancounties，shedislikedhimlookingoutofthewindows，foralltheworldasifNaturewassomedangerouswoman。
　　Heresumedhisdutieswithafeelingthathehadneverleftthem。Againheconfrontedtheassembledhouse。Thistermwasagaintheterm;schoolstilltheworldinminiature。Themusicofthefour—partfugueenteredintohimmoredeeply，andhebegantohumitslittlephrases。Thesameroutine，thesamediplomacies，thesameoldsenseofonlyhalfknowingboysormen——hereturnedtoitall:andallthatchangedwasthecloudofunreality，whicheverbroodedalittlemoredenselythanbefore。Hespoketohiswifeaboutthis，hespoketoherabouteverything，andshewasalarmed，andwantedhimtoseeadoctor。Butheexplainedthatitwasnothingofanypracticalimportance，nothingthatinterferedwithhisworkorhisappetite，nothingmorethanafeelingthatthecowwasnotreallythere。Shelaughed，and"howisthecowtoday？"soonpassedintoadomesticjoke。
　　XX
　　Ansellwasinhisfavouritehaunt——thereading—roomoftheBritishMuseum。
　　Inthatbook—encircledspacehealwayscouldfindpeace。Helovedtoseethevolumesrisingtierabovetierintothemistydome。Helovedthechairsthatglidesonoiselessly，andtheradiatingdesks，andthecentralarea，wherethecatalogueshelvescurve，roundthesuperintendent’sthrone。
　　Thereheknewthathislifewasnotignoble。Itwasworthwhiletogrowoldanddustyseekingfortruththoughtruthisunattainable，restatingquestionsthathavebeenstatedatthebeginningoftheworld。Failurewouldawaithim，butnotdisillusionment。Itwasworthwhilereadingbooks，andwritingabookortwowhichfewwouldread，andnoone，perhaps，endorse。Hewasnotahero，andheknewit。Hisfatherandsister，bytheirsteadygoodness，hadmadethislifepossible。But，allthesame，itwasnotthelifeofaspoiltchild。
　　InthenextchairtohimsatWiddrington，engagedinhishistoricalresearch。Hisdeskwasedgedwithenormousvolumes，andeveryfewmomentsanassistantbroughthimmore。TheyroselikeawallagainstAnsell。Towardstheendofthemorningagapwasmade，andthroughittheyheldthefollowingconversation。
　　"I’vebeenstoppingwithmycousinatSawston。"
　　"M’m。"
　　"Itwasquiteexciting。Theairrangwithbattle。Abouttwo—thirdsofthemastershavelosttheirheads，andaretryingtoproduceagimcrackcopyofEton。Lastterm，youknow，withagreatdealofpuffingandblowing，theyfixedthenumbersoftheschool。Thistermtheywanttocreateanewboarding—house。"
　　"Theyareverywelcome。"
　　"Butthemoreboarding—housestheycreate，thelessroomtheyleaveforday—boys。Thelocalmothersarefrantic，andsoismyqueercousin。Ineverknewhimsoexcitedoversub—Hellenicthings。Therewasanindignationmeetingathishouse。Heissupposedtolookaftertheday—boys’interests，butnoonethoughthewould——leastofallthepeoplewhogavehimthepost。
　　Thespeechesweremosteloquent。Theyarguedthattheschoolwasfoundedforday—boys，andthatit’sintolerabletohandicapthem。
　　Onepoorladycried，’Here’smyHaroldintheschool，andmyToddiecomingon。AslikelyasnotIshallbetoldthereisnovacancyforhim。ThenwhatamItodo？IfIgo，what’stobecomeofHarold;andifIstop，what’stobecomeofToddie？’ImustsayIwastouched。Familylifeismorerealthannationallife——atleastI’veorderedallthesebookstoproveitis——andIfancythatthebustofEuripidesagreedwithme，andwassorryforthehot—facedmothers。Jacksonwilldowhathecan。Hedidn’tquiteliketostatethenakedtruth—whichis，thatboardinghousespay。
　　Heexplainedittomeafterwards:theyaretheonly，futureopentoastupidmaster。It’seasyenoughtobeabeakwhenyou’reyoungandathletic，andcanofferthelatestUniversitysmattering。Thedifficultyistokeepyourplacewhenyougetoldandstiff，andyoungersmatterersarepushingupbehindyou。
　　Crawlintoaboarding—houseandyou’resafe。Amaster’slifeisfrightfullytragic。Jackson’sfairlyrighthimself，becausehehasgotafirst—classintellect。ButImetapoorbrutewhowashiredasanathlete。Hehasmissedhisshotataboarding—house，andthere’snothingintheworldforhimtodobuttotrundledownthehill。"