Lauriesmiled,tookit,putitinhisvestpocket`tokeepitfromblowingaway’,andlistenedwithinteresttothelivelyletterAmyreadhim。
"ThiswillbearegularlymerryChristmastome,withpresentsinthemorning,youandlettersintheafternoon,andapartyatnight,"saidAmy,astheyalightedamongtheruinsoftheoldfort,andaflockofsplendidpeacockscametroopingaboutthem,tamelywaitingtobefed。WhileAmystoodlaughingonthebankabovehimasshescatteredcrumbstothebrilliantbirds,Laurielookedatherasshehadlookedathim,withanaturalcuriositytoseewhatchangestimeandabsencehadwrought。Hefoundnothingtoperplexordisappoint,muchtoadmireandapprove,foroverlookingafewlittleaffectationsofspeechandmanner,shewasassprightlyandgracefulasever,withtheadditionofthatindescribablesomethingindressandbearingwhichwecallelegance。Alwaysmatureforherage,shehadgainedacertainaplombinbothcarriageandconversation,whichmadeherseemmoreofawomanoftheworldthanshewas,butheroldpetulancenowandthenshoweditself,herstrongwillstillhelditsown,andhernativefranknesswasunspoiledbyforeignpolish。
Lauriedidnotreadallthiswhilehewatchedherfeedthepeacocks,buthesawenoughtosatisfyandinteresthim,andcarriedawayaprettylittlepictureofabright—facedgirlstandinginthesunshine,whichbroughtoutthesofthueofherdress,thefreshcolorofhercheeks,thegoldenglossofherhair,andmadeheraprominentfigureinthepleasantscene。
Astheycameupontothestoneplateauthatcrownsthehill,Amywavedherhandasifwelcominghimtoherfavoritehaunt,andsaid,pointinghereandthere,"DoyouremembertheCathedralandtheCorso,thefishermendraggingtheirnetsinthebay,andthelovelyroadtoVillaFranca,Schubert’sTower,justbelow,andbestofall,thatspeckfarouttoseawhichtheysayilsCorsica?"
"Iremember。It’snotmuchchanged,"heansweredwithoutenthusiasm。
"WhatJowouldgiveforasightofthatfamousspeck!"saidAmy,feelingingoodspiritsandanxioustoseehimsoalso。
"Yes,"wasallhesaid,butheturnedandstrainedhiseyestoseetheislandwhichagreaterusurperthanevenNapoleonnowmadeinterestinginhissight。
"Takeagoodlookatitforhersake,andthencomeandtellmewhatyouhavebeendoingwithyourselfallthiswhile,"saidAmy,seatingherself,readyforagoodtalk。
Butshedidnotgetit,forthoughhejoinedherandansweredallherquestionsfreely,shecouldonlylearnthathehadrovedabouttheContinentandbeentoGreece。Soafteridlingawayanhour,theydrovehomeagain,andhavingpaidhisrespectstoMrs。Carrol,Laurieleftthem,promisingtoreturnintheevening。
ItmustberecordedofAmythatshedeliberatelyprinkedthatnight。Timeandabsencehaddoneitsworkonboththeyoungpeople。Shehadseenheroldfriendinanewlight,notas`ourboy’,butasahandsomeandagreeableman,andshewasconsciousofaverynaturaldesiretofindfavorinhissight。Amyknewhergoodpoints,andmadethemostofthemwiththetasteandskillwhichisafortunetoapoorandprettywoman。
TarlatanandtullewerecheapatNice,sosheenvelopedherselfinthemonsuchoccasions,andfollowingthesensibleEnglishfashionofsimpledressforyounggirls,gotupcharminglittletoiletteswithfreshflowers,afewtrinkets,andallmannerofdaintydevices,whichwerebothinexpensiveandeffective。Itmustbeconfessedthattheartistsometimesgotpossessionofthewoman,andindulgedinantiquecoiffures,statuesqueattitudes,andclassicdraperies。But,dearheart,weallhaveoutlittleweaknesses,andfinditeasytopardonsuchintheyoung,whosatisfyoureyeswiththeircomeliness,andkeepourheartsmerrywiththeirartlessvanities。
"IdowanthimtothinkIlookwell,andtellthemsoathome,"saidAmytoherself,assheputonFlo’soldwhitesilkballdress,andcovereditwithacloudoffreshillusion,outofwhichherwhiteshouldersandgoldenheademergedwithamostartisticeffect。Herhairshehadthesensetoletalone,aftergatheringupthethickwavesandcurlsintoaHebe—likeknotatthebackofherhead。
"It’snotthefashion,butit’sbecoming,andIcan’taffordtomakeafrightofmyself,"sheusedtosay,whenadvisedtofrizzle,puff,orbraid,asthelateststylecommanded。
Havingnoornamentsfineenoughforthisimportantoccasion,Amyloopedherfleecyskirtswithrosyclustersofazalea,andframedthewhiteshouldersindelicategreenvines。Rememberingthepaintedboots,shesurveyedherwhitesatinslipperswithgirlishsatisfaction,andchasséeddowntheroom,admiringheraristocraticfeetallbyherself。
"Mynewfanjustmatchesmyflowers,myglovesfittoacharm,andthereallaceonAunt’smouchoirgivesanairtomywholedress。IfIonlyhadaclassicalnoseandmouthIshouldbeperfectlyhappy,"shesaid,surveyingherselfwithacriticaleyeandacandleineachhand。
Inspiteofthisaffliction,shelookedunusuallygayandgracefulassheglidedaway。Sheseldomran——itdidnotsuitherstyle,shethought,forbeingtall,thestatelyandJunoesquewasmoreappropriatethanthesportiveorpiquante。ShewalkedupanddownthelongsaloonwhilewaitingforLaurie,andoncearrangedherselfunderthechandelier,whichhadagoodeffectuponherhair,thenshethoughtbetterofit,andwentawaytotheotherendoftheroom,asifashamedofthegirlishdesiretohavethefirstviewapropitiousone。Itsohappenedthatshecouldnothavedoneabetterthing,forLauriecameinsoquietlyshedidnothearhim,andasshestoodatthedistantwindow,withherheadhalfturnedandonehandgatheringupherdress,theslender,whitefigureagainsttheredcurtainswasaseffectiveasawell—placedstatue。
"Goodevening,Diana!"saidLaurie,withthelookofsatisfactionshelikedtoseeinhiseyeswhentheyrestedonher。
"Goodevening,Apollo!"sheanswered,smilingbackathim,forhetoolookedunusuallydébonair,andthethoughtofenteringtheballroomonthearmofsuchapersonablemancausedAmytopitythefourplainMissesDavisfromthebottomofherheart。
"Hereareyourflowers。Iarrangedthemmyself,rememberingthatyoudidn’tlikewhatHannahcallsa`sot—bookay’,saidLaurie,handingheradelicatenosegay,inaholderthatshehadlongcovetedasshedailypasseditinCardiglia’swindow。
"Howkindyouare!"sheexclaimedgratefully。"IfI’dknownyouwerecomingI’dhavehadsomethingreadyforyoutoday,thoughnotasprettyasthis,I’mafraid。"
"Thankyou。Itisn’twhatitshouldbe,butyouhaveimprovedit,"headded,asshesnappedthesilverbraceletonherwrist。
"Pleasedon’t。"
"Ithoughtyoulikedthatsortofthing。"
"Notfromyou,itdoesn’tsoundnatural,andIlikeyouroldbluntnessbetter。"
"I’mgladofit,"heanswered,withalookofrelief,thenbuttonedherglovesforher,andaskedifhistiewasstraight,justasheusedtodowhentheywenttopartiestogetherathome。
ThecompanyassembledinthelongsalleàmangerthateveningwassuchasoneseesnowherebutontheContinent。ThehospitableAmericanshadinvitedeveryacquaintancetheyhadinNice,andhavingnoprejudiceagainsttitles,securedafewtoaddlustertotheirChristmasball。
ARussianprincecondescendedtositinacornerforanhourandtalkwithamassivelady,dressedlikeHamlet’smotherinblackvelvetwithapearlbridleunderherchin。APolishcount,agedeighteen,devotedhimselftotheladies,whopronouncedhim,`afascinatingdear’,andaGermanSereneSomething,havingcometosupperalone,roamedvaguelyabout,seekingwhathemightdevour。BaronRothschild’sprivatesecretary,alarge—nosedJewintightboots,affablybeamedupontheworld,asifhismaster’snamecrownedhimwithagoldenhalo。AstoutFrenchman,whoknewtheEmperor,cametoindulgehismaniafordancing,andLadydeJones,aBritishmatron,adornedthescenewithherlittlefamilyofeight。Ofcourse,thereweremanylight—footed,shrill—voicedAmericangirls,handsome,lifeless—lookingEnglishditto,andafewplainbutpiquanteFrenchdemoiselles,likewisetheusualsetoftravelingyounggentlemenwhodisportedthemselvesgaily,whilemammasofallnationslinedthewallsandsmileduponthembenignlywhentheydancedwiththeirdaughters。
AnyyounggirlcanimagineAmy’sstateofmindwhenshe`tookthestage’thatnight,leaningonLaurie’sarm。Sheknewshelookedwell,shelovedtodance,shefeltthatherfootwasonhernativeheathinaballroom,andenjoyedthedelightfulsenseofpowerwhichcomeswhenyounggirlsfirstdiscoverthenewandlovelykingdomtheyareborntorulebyvirtueofbeauty,youth,andwomanhood。ShedidpitytheDavisgirls,whowereawkward,plain,anddestituteofescort,exceptagrimpapaandthreegrimmermaidenaunts,andshebowedtotheminherfriendliestmannerasshepassed,whichwasgoodofher,asitpermittedthemtoseeherdress,andburnwithcuriositytoknowwhoherdistinguished—lookingfriendmightbe。Withthefirstburstoftheband,Amy’scolorrose,hereyesbegantosparkle,andherfeettotapthefloorimpatiently,forshedancedwellandwantedLaurietoknowit。Thereforetheshockshereceivedcanbetterbeimaginedthandescribed,whenhesaidinaperfectlytranquiltone,"Doyoucaretodance?"
"Oneusuallydoesataball。"
HeramazedlookandquickanswercausedLaurietorepairhiserrorasfastaspossible。
"Imeantthefirstdance。MayIhavethehonor?"
"IcangiveyouoneifIputofftheCount。Hedancesdivinely,buthewillexcuseme,asyouareanoldfriend,"saidAmy,hopingthatthenamewouldhaveagoodeffect,andshowLauriethatshewasnottobetrifledwith。
"Nicelittleboy,butratherashortPoletosupportthestepsofAdaughterofthegods,Divinelytall,andmostdivinelyfair,"
wasallthesatisfactionshegot,however。
ThesetinwhichtheyfoundthemselveswascomposedofEnglish,andAmywascompelledtowalkdecorouslythroughacotillion,feelingallthewhileasifshecoulddancethetarantellawithrelish。Laurieresignedhertothe`nicelittleboy’,andwenttodohisdutytoFlo,withoutsecuringAmyforthejoystocome,whichreprehensiblewantofforethoughtwasproperlypunished,forsheimmediatelyengagedherselftillsupper,meaningtorelentifhethengaveanysignspenitence。Sheshowedhimherballbookwithdemuresatisfactionwhenhestrolledinsteadofrusheduptoclaimherforthenext,agloriouspolka—redowa。Buthispoliteregretsdidn’timposeuponher,andwhenshegallopedawaywiththeCount,shesawLauriesitdownbyherauntwithanactualexpressionofrelief。
Thatwasunpardonable,andAmytooknomorenoticeofhimforalongwhile,exceptawordnowandthenwhenshecametoherchaperonbetweenthedancesforanecessarypinoramoment’srest。Herangerhadagoodeffect,however,forshehiditunderasmilingface,andseemedunusuallyblitheandbrilliant。Laurie’seyesfollowedherwithpleasure,forsheneitherrompednorsauntered,butdancedwithspiritandgrace,makingthedelightsomepastimewhatitshouldbe。Heverynaturallyfelltostudyingherfromthisnewpointofview,andbeforetheeveningwashalfover,haddecidedthat`littleAmywasgoingtomakeaverycharmingwoman’。
Itwasalivelyscene,forsoonthespiritofthesocialseasontookpossessionofeveryone,andChristmasmerrimentmadeallfacesshine,heartshappy,andheelslight。Themusiciansfiddled,tooted,andbangedasiftheyenjoyedit,everybodydancedwhocould,andthosewhocouldn’tadmiredtheirneighborswithuncommonwarmth。TheairwasdarkwithDavises,andmanyJonesgamboledlikeaflockofyounggiraffes。Thegoldensecretarydartedthroughtheroomlikeameteorwithadashingfrenchwomanwhocarpedthefloorwithherpinksatintrain。ThesereneTeutonfoundthesuppertableandwashappy,eatingsteadilythroughthebilloffare,anddismayedthegarçonsbytheravageshecommitted。ButtheEmperor’sfriendcoveredhimselfwithglory,forhedancedeverything,whetherheknewitornot,andintroducedimpromptupirouetteswhenthefiguresbewilderedhim。Theboyishabandonofthatstoutmanwascharmingtobehold,forthoughhe`carriedweight’,hedancedlikeanIndia—rubberball。Heran,heflew,hepranced,hisfaceglowed,hisbaldheadshown,hiscoat—tailswavedwildly,hispumpsactuallytwinkledintheair,andwhenthemusicstopped,hewipedthedropsfromhisbrow,andbeameduponhisfellowmenlikeaFrenchPickwickwithoutglasses。
AmyandherPoledistinguishedthemselvesbyequalenthusiasmbutmoregracefulagility,andLauriefoundhimselfinvoluntarilykeepingtimetotherhythmicriseandfallofthewhiteslippersastheyflewbyasindefatigablyasifwinged。WhenlittleVladimirfinallyrelinquishedher,withassurancesthathewas`desolatedtoleavesoearly’,shewasreadytorest,andseehowherrecreantknighthadbornehispunishment。
Ithadbeensuccessful,foratthree—and—twenty,blightedaffectionsfindabalminfriendlysociety,andyoungnerveswillthrill,youngblooddance,andhealthyyoungspiritsrise,whensubjectedtotheenchantmentofbeauty,light,music,andmotion。Lauriehadawaked—uplookasherosetogiveherhisseat,andwhenhehurriedawaytobringhersomesupper,shesaidtoherself,withasatisfiedsmile,"Ah,Ithoughtthatwoulddohimgood!"
"YoulooklikeBalzac’s`Femmepeinteparelle—même’,"hesaid,ashefannedherwithonehandandheldhercoffeecupintheother。
"Myrougewon’tcomeoff。"AndAmyrubbedherbrilliantcheek,andshowedhimherwhiteglovewithasobersimplicitythatmadehimlaughoutright。
"Whatdoyoucallthisstuff?"heasked,touchingafoldofherdressthathadblownoverhisknee。
"Illusion。"
"Goodnameforit。It’sverypretty——newthing,isn’tit?"
"It’sasoldasthehills。Youhaveseenitondozensofgirls,andyouneverfoundoutthatitwasprettytillnow?Stupide!"
"Ineversawitonyoubefore,whichaccountsforthemistake,yousee。"
"Noneofthat,itisforbidden。I’drathertakecoffeethancomplimentsjustnow。No,don’tlounge,itmakesmenervous。"
Lauriesatboldupright,andmeeklytookheremptyplatefeelinganoddsortofpleasureinhaving`littleAmy’orderhimabout,forshehadlosthershynessnow,andfeltanirrestibledesiretotrampleonhim,asgirlshaveadelightfulwayofdoingwhenlordsofcreationshowanysignsofsubjection。
"Wheredidyoulearnallthissortofthing?"heaskedwithaquizzicallook。
"As`thissortofthing’isratheravagueexpression,wouldyoukindlyexplain?"returnedAmy,knowingperfectlywellwhathemeant,butwickedlyleavinghimtodescribewhatisindescribable。
"Well——thegeneralair,thestyle,theself—possession,the——the——illusion——youknow",laughedLaurie,breakingdownandhelpinghimselfoutofhisquandarywiththenewword。
Amywasgratified,butofcoursedidn’tshowit,anddemurelyanswered,"Foreignlifepolishesoneinspiteofone’sself。Istudyaswellasplay,andasforthis"——withalittlegesturetowardherdress——"why,tulleischeap,posiestobehadfornothing,andIamusedtomakingthemostofmypoorlittlethings。"
Amyratherregrettedthatlastsentence,fearingitwasn’tingoodtaste,butLaurielikedherbetterforit,andfoundhimselfbothadmiringandrespectingthebravepatiencethatmadethemostofopportunity,andthecheerfulspiritthatcoveredpovertywithflowers。Amydidnotknowwhyhelookedathersokindly,nowwhyhefilledupherbookwithhisownname,anddevotedhimselftoherfortherestoftheeveninginthemostdelightfulmanner,buttheimpulsethatwroughtthisagreeablechangewastheresultofoneofthenewimpressionswhichbothofthemwereunconsciouslygivingandreceiving。
GoodWives:Chapter15CHAPTER15OntheShelfInFrancetheyounggirlshaveadulltimeofittilltheyaremarried,when`Vivelaliberté!’becomestheirmotto。InAmerica,aseveryoneknows,girlsearlysignthedeclarationofindependence,andenjoytheirfreedomwithrepublicanzest,buttheyoungmatronsusuallyabdicatewiththefirstheirtothethroneandgointoaseclusionalmostascloseasaFrenchnunnery,thoughbynomeansasquiet。Whethertheylikeitornot,theyarevirtuallyputupontheshelfassoonastheweddingexcitementisover,andmostofthemmightexclaim,asdidaveryprettywomantheotherday,"I’mashandsomeasever,butnoonetakesanynoticeofmebecauseI’mmarried。"
Notbeingabelleorevenafashionablelady,Megdidnotexperiencethisafflictiontillherbabieswereayearold,forinherlittleworldprimitivecustomsprevailed,andshefoundherselfmoreadmiredandbelovedthanever。
Asshewasawomanlylittlewoman,thematernalinstinctwasverystrong,andshewasentirelyabsorbedinherchildren,totheutterexclusionofeverythingandeverybodyelse。Dayandnightshebroodedoverthemwithtirelessdevotionandanxiety,leavingJohntothetendermerciesofthehelp,foranIrishladynowpresidedoverthekitchendepartment。Beingadomesticman,Johndecidedlymissedthewifelyattentionshehadbeenaccustomedtoreceive,butasheadoredhisbabies,hecheerfullyrelinquishedhiscomfortforatime,supposingwithmasculineignorancethatpeacewouldsoonberestored。Butthreemonthspassed,andtherewasnoreturnofrepose。Meglookedwornandnervous,thebabiesabsorbedeveryminuteofhertime,thehousewasneglected,andKitty,thecook,whotooklife`aisy’,kepthimonshortcommons。Whenhewentoutinthemorninghewasbewilderedbysmallcommissionsforthecaptivemamma,ifhecamegailyinatnight,eagertoembracehisfamily,hewasquenchedbya"Hush!Theyarejustasleepafterworryingallday。"Ifheproposedalittleamusementathome,"No,itwoulddisturbthebabies。"Ifhehintedatalectureoraconcert,hewasansweredwithareproachfullook,andadecided"Leavemychildrenforpleasure,never!"Hissleepwasbrokenbyinfantwailsandvisionsofaphantomfigurepacingnoiselesslytoandfrointhewatchesofthenight。Hismealswereinterruptedbythefrequentflightofthepresidinggenius,whodesertedhim,half—helped,ifamuffledchirpsoundedfromthenestabove。Andwhenhereadhispaperofanevening,Demi’scolicgotintotheshippinglistandDaisy’sfallaffectedthepriceofstocks,forMrs。Brookewasonlyinterestedindomesticnews。
Thepoormanwasveryuncomfortable,forthechildrenhadberefthimofhiswife,homewasmerelyanurseryandtheperpetual`hushing’madehimfeellikeabrutalintruderwheneverheenteredthesacredprecinctsofBabyland。Heboreitverypatientlyforsixmonths,andwhennosignsofamendmentappeared,hedidwhatotherpaternalexilesdo——triedtogetalittlecomfortelsewhere。Scotthadmarriedandgonetohousekeepingnotfaroff,andJohnfellintothewayofrunningoverforanhourortwoofanevening,whenhisownparlorwasempty,andhisownwifesinginglullabiesthatseemedtohavenoend。Mrs。Scottwasalively,prettygirl,withnothingtodobutbeagreeable,andsheperformedhermissionmostsuccessfully。Theparlorwasalwaysbrightandattractive,thechessboardready,thepianointune,plentyofgaygossip,andanicelittlesuppersetforthintemptingstyle。
Johnwouldhavepreferredhisownfiresideifithadnotbeensolonely,butasitwashegratefullytookthenextbestthingandenjoyedhisneighbor’ssociety。
Megratherapprovedofthenewarrangementatfirst,andfounditarelieftoknowthatJohnwashavingagoodtimeinsteadofdozingintheparlor,ortrampingaboutthehouseandwakingthechildren。Butby—and—by,whentheteethingworrywasoverandtheidolswenttosleepatproperhours,leavingMammatimetorest,shebegantomissJohn,andfindherwork—basketdullcompany,whenhewasnotsittingoppositeinhisolddressinggown,comfortablyscorchinghisslippersonthefender。Shewouldnotaskhimtostayathome,butfeltinjuredbecausehedidnotknowthatshewantedhimwithoutbeingtold,entirelyforgettingthemanyeveningshehadwaitedforherinvain。Shewasnervousandwornoutwithwatchingandworry,andinthatunreasonableframeofmindwhichthebestofmothersoccasionallyexperiencewhendomesticcaresoppressthem。Wantofexerciserobsthemofcheerfulness,andtoomuchdevotiontothatidolofAmericanwomen,theteapot,makesthemfeelasiftheywereallnerveandnomuscle。
"Yes,"shewouldsay,lookingintheglass,"I’mgettingoldandugly。Johndoesn’tfindmeinterestinganylonger,soheleaveshisfadedwifeandgoestoseehisprettyneighbor,whohasnoincumbrances。Well,thebabiesloveme,theydon’tcareifIamthinandpaleandhaven’ttimetocrimpmyhair,theyaremycomfort,andsomedayJohnwillseewhatI’vegladlysacrificedforthem,won’the,myprecious?"
Towhichpatheticappealdaisywouldanswerwithacoo,orDemiwithacrow,andMegwouldputbyherlamentationsforamaternalrevel,whichsoothedhersolitudeforthetimebeing。ButthepainincreasedaspoliticsabsorbedJohn,whowasalwaysrunningovertodiscussinterestingpointswithScott,quiteunconsciousthatMegmissedhim。Notaworddidshesay,however,tillhermotherfoundherintearsoneday,andinsistedonknowingwhatthematterwas,forMeg’sdroopingspiritshadnotescapedherobservation。
"Iwouldn’ttellanyoneexceptyou,Mother,butIreallydoneedadvice,forifJohngoesonmuchlongerImightaswellbewidowed,"repliedMrs。Brooke,dryinghertearsonDaisy’sbibwithaninjuredair。
"Goesonhow,mydear?"askedhermotheranxiously。
"He’sawayallday,andatnightwhenIwanttoseehim,heiscontinuallygoingovertotheScotts’。Itisn’tfairthatIshouldhavethehardestwork,andneveranyamusement。Menareveryselfish,eventhebestofthem。"
"Soarewomen。Don’tblameJohntillyouseewhereyouarewrongyourself。"
"Butitcan’tberightforhimtoneglectme。"
"Don’tyouneglecthim?"
"Why,Mother,Ithoughtyou’dtakemypart!"
"SoIdo,asfarassympathizinggoes,butIthinkthefaultisyours,Meg。"
"Idon’tseehow。"
"Letmeshowyou。DidJohneverneglectyou,asyoucallit,whileyoumadeitapointtogivehimyoursocietyofanevening,hisonlyleisuretime?"
"No,butIcan’tdoitnow,withtwobabiestotend。"
"Ithinkyoucould,dear,andIthinkyouought。MayIspeakquitefreely,andwillyourememberthatit’sMotherwhoblamesaswellasMotherwhosympathizes?"
"IndeedIwill!SpeaktomeasifIwerelittleMegagain。IoftenfeelasifIneededteachingmorethaneversincethesebabieslooktomeforeverything。"
Megdrewherlowchairbesidehermother’s,andwithalittleinterruptionineitherlap,thetwowomenrockedandtalkedlovinglytogether,feelingthatthetieofmotherhoodmadethemmoreonethanever。
"Youhaveonlymadethemistakethatmostyoungwivesmake—forgottenyourdutytoyourhusbandinyourloveforyourchildren。Averynaturalandforgivablemistake,Meg,butonethathadbetterberemediedbeforeyoutaketodifferentways,forchildrenshoulddrawyounearerthanever,notseparateyou,asiftheywereallyours,andJohnhadnothingtodobutsupportthem。I’veseenitforsomeweeks,buthavenotspoken,feelingsureitwouldcomerightintime。"
"I’mafraiditwon’t。IfIaskhimtostay,he’llthinkI’mjealous,andIwouldn’tinsulthimbysuchanidea。Hedoesn’tseethatIwanthim,andIdon’tknowhowtotellhimwithoutwords。"
"Makeitsopleasanthewon’twanttogoaway。Mydear,he’slongingforhislittlehome,butitisn’thomewithoutyou,andyouarealwaysinthenursery。"
"Oughtn’tItobethere?"
"Notallthetime,toomuchconfinementmakesyounervous,andthenyouareunfittedforeverything。Besides,youowesomethingtoJohnaswellastothebabies。Don’tneglecthusbandforchildren,don’tshuthimoutofthenursery,butteachhimhowtohelpinit。Hisplaceisthereaswellasyours,andthechildrenneedhim。Lethimfeelthathehasaparttodo,andhewilldoitgladlyandfaithfully,anditwillbebetterforyouall。"
"Youreallythinkso,Mother?"
"Iknowit,Meg,forI’vetriedit,andIseldomgiveadviceunlessI’veproveditspracticability。WhenyouandJowerelittle,Iwentonjustasyouare,feelingasifIdidn’tdomydutyunlessIdevotedmyselfwhollytoyou。PoorFathertooktohisbooks,afterIhadrefusedalloffersofhelp,andleftmetotrymyexperimentalone。IstruggledalongaswellasIcould,butJowastoomuchforme。Inearlyspoiledherbyindulgence。Youwerepoorly,andIworriedaboutyoutillIfellsickmyself。ThenFathercametotherescue,quietlymanagedeverything,andmadehimselfsohelpfulthatIsawmymistake,andneverhavebeenabletogotonwithouthimsince。Thatisthesecretofourhomehappiness。Hedoesnotletbusinessweanhimfromthelittlecaresanddutiesthataffectusall,andItrynottoletdomesticworriesdestroymyinterestinhispursuits。Eachdoourpartaloneinmanythings,butathomeweworktogether,always。"
"Itisso,Mother,andmygreatwishistobetomyhusbandandchildrenwhatyouhavebeentoyours。Showmehow,I’lldoanythingyousay。"
"Youwerealwaysmydociledaughter。Well,dear,ifIwereyou,I’dletJohnhavemoretodowiththemanagementofDemi,fortheboyneedstraining,andit’snonetoosoontobegin。ThenI’ddowhatIhaveoftenproposed,letHannahcomeandhelpyou。Sheisacapitalnurse,andyoumaytrustthepreciousbabiestoherwhileyoudomorehousework。Youneedtheexercise,Hannahwouldenjoytherest,andJohnwouldfindhiswifeagain。Gooutmore,keepcheerfulaswellasbusy,foryouarethesunshine—makerofthefamily,andifyougetdismalthereisnofairweather。ThenI’dtrytotakeaninterestinwhateverJohnlikes——talkwithhim,lethimreadtoyou,exchangeideas,andhelpeachotherinthatway。Don’tshutyourselfupinabandboxbecauseyouareawoman,butunderstandwhatisgoingon,andeducateyourselftotakeyourpartintheworld’swork,foritallaffectsyouandyours。"
"Johnissosensible,I’mafraidhewillthinkI’mstupidifIaskquestionsaboutpoliticsandthings。"
"Idon’tbelievehewould。Lovecoversamultitudeofsins,andofwhomcouldyouaskmorefreelythanofhim?Tryit,andseeifhedoesn’tfindyoursocietyfarmoreagreeablethanMrs。Scott’ssuppers。"
"Iwill。PoorJohn!I’mafraidIhaveneglectedhimsadly,butIthoughtIwasright,andheneversaidanything。"
"Hetriednottobeselfish,buthehasfeltratherforlorn,Ifancy。Thisisjustthetime,Meg,whenyoungmarriedpeopleareapttogrowapart,andtheverytimewhentheyoughttobemosttogether,forthefirsttendernesssoonwearsoff,unlesscareistakentopreserveit。Andnotimeissobeautifulandprecioustoparentsasthefirstyearsofthelittlelivesgiventothemtotrain。Don’tletJohnbeastrangertothebabies,fortheywilldomoretokeephimsafeandhappyinthisworldoftrialandtemptationthananythingelse,andthroughthemyouwilllearntoknowandloveoneanotherasyoushould。Now,dear,good—by。ThinkoverMother’spreachment,actuponitifitseemsgood,andGodblessyouall。"
Megdidthinkitover,founditgood,andacteduponit,thoughthefirstattemptwasnotmadeexactlyassheplannedtohaveit。Ofcoursethechildrentyrannizedoverher,andruledthehouseassoonastheyfoundoutthatkickingandsquallingbroughtthemwhatevertheywanted。Mammawasanabjectslavetotheircaprices,butPapawasnotsoeasilysubjugated,andoccasionallyafflictedhistenderspousebyanattemptatpaternaldisciplinewithhisobstreperousson。ForDemiinheritedatrifleofhissire’sfirmnessofcharacter,wewon’tcallitobstinacy,andwhenhemadeuphislittletohaveortodoanything,alltheking’shorsesandalltheking’smencouldnotchangethatpertinaciouslittlemind。Mammathoughtthedeartooyoungtobetaughttoconquerhisprejudices,butPapabelievedthatitneverwastoosoontolearnobedience。SoMasterDemiearlydiscoveredthatwhenheundertookto`wrastle’with`Parpar’,healwaysgottheworstofit,yetliketheEnglishman,babyrespectedthemanwhoconqueredhim,andlovedthefatherwhosegrave"No,no,"wasmoreimpressivethanallMamma’slovepats。Afewdaysafterthetalkwithhermother,MegresolvedtotryasocialeveningwithJohn,sosheorderedanicesupper,settheparlorinorder,dressedherselfprettily,andputthechildrentobedearly,thatnothingshouldinterferewithherexperiment。ButunfortunatelyDemi’smostunconquerableprejudicewasagainstgoingtobed,andthatnighthedecidedtogoonarampage。SopoorMegsangandrocked,toldstoriesandtriedeverysleep—prevokingwileshecoulddevise,butallinvain,thebigeyeswouldn’tshut,andlongafterDaisyhadgonetobyelow,likethechubbylittlebunchofgoodnatureshewas,naughtyDemilaystaringatthelight,withthemostdiscouraginglywide—awakeexpressionofcountenance。
"WillDemiliestilllikeagoodboy,whileMammarunsdownandgivespoorPapahistea?"askedMeg,asthehalldoorsoftlyclosed,andthewell—knownstepwenttip—toeingintothediningroom。
"Mehastea!"saidDemi,preparingtojoinintherevel。
"No,butI’llsaveyousomelittlecakiesforbreakfast,ifyou’llgobye—bylikeDaisy。Willyou,lovey?"
"Iss!"andDemishuthiseyestight,asiftocatchsleepandhurrythedesiredday。
第5章