"Yes,youwill!"persistedJo。"You’llgetoverthisafterawhile,andfindsomelovelyaccomplishedgirl,whowilladoreyou,andmakeafinemistressforyourfinehouse。Ishouldn’t。I’mhomelyandawkwardandoddandold,andyou’dbeashamedofme,andweshouldquarrel——wecan’thelpitevennow,yousee—andIshouldn’tlikeelegantsocietyandyouwould,andyou’dhatemyscribbling,andIcouldn’tgetonwithoutit,andweshouldbeunhappy,andwishwehadn’tdoneit,andeverythingwouldbehorrid!"
"Anythingmore?"askedLaurie,findingithardtolistenpatientlytothispropheticburst。
"Nothingmore,exceptthatIdon’tbelieveIshallevermarry。I’mhappyasIam,andlovemylibertytoowelltobeinahurrytogiveitupforanymortalman。"
"Iknowbetter!"brokeinLaurie。"Youthinksonow,butthere’llcomeatimewhenyouwillcareforsomebody,andyou’lllovehimtremendously,andliveanddieforhim。Iknowyouwill,it’syourway,andIshallhavetostandbyandseeit。"Andthedespairinglovercasthishatuponthegroundwithagesturethatwouldhaveseemedcomical,ifhisfacehadnotbeensotragic。
"Yes,Iwillliveanddieforhim,ifherevercomesandmakesmelovehiminspiteofmyself,andyoumustdothebestyoucan!"criedJo,losingpatiencewithpoorTeddy。"I’vedonemybest,butyouwon’tbereasonable,andit’sselfishofyoutokeepteasingforwhatIcan’tgive。Ishallalwaysbefondofyou,veryfondindeed,asafriend,butI’llnevermarryyou,andthesooneryoubelieveitthebetterforbothofus——sonow!"
Thatspeechwaslikegunpowder。Laurielookedatheraminuteasifhedidnotquiteknowwhattodowithhimself,thenturnedsharplyaway,sayinginadesperatesortoftone,"You’llbesorrysomeday,Jo。"
"Oh,whereareyougoing?"shecried,forhisfacefrightenedher。
"Tothedevil!"wastheconsolinganswer。
ForaminuteJo’sheartstoodstill,asheswunghimselfdownthebanktowardtheriver,butittakesmuchfolly,sinormiserytosendayoungmantoaviolentdeath,andLauriewasnotoneoftheweaksortwhoareconqueredbyasinglefailure。Hehadnothoughtofamelodramaticplunge,butsomeblindinstinctledhimtoflinghatandcoatintohisboat,androwawaywithallhismight,makingbettertimeuptheriverthanhehaddoneinanyrace。Jodrewalongbreathandunclaspedherhandsasshewatchedthepoorfellowtryingtooutstripthetroublewhichhecarriedinhisheart。
"Thatwilldohimgood,andhe’llcomehomeinsuchatender,penitentstateofmind,thatIshan’tdaretoseehim。"shesaid,adding,asshewentslowlyhome,feelingasifshehadmurderedsomeinnocentthing,andburieditundertheleaves。"NowImustgoandprepareMr。Laurencetobeverykindtomypoorboy。Iwishhe’dloveBeth,perhapshemayintime,butIbegintothinkIwasmistakenabouther。Ohdear!Howcangirlsliketohaveloversandrefusethem?Ithinkit’sdreadful。"Beingsurethatnoonecoulddoitsowellasherself,shewentstraighttoMr。Laurence,toldthehardstorybravelythrough,andthenbrokedown,cryingsodismallyoverherowninsensibilitythatthekindoldgentleman,thoughsorelydisappointed,didnotutterareproach。HefounditdifficulttounderstandhowanygirlcouldhelplovingLaurie,andhopedshewouldchangehermind,butheknewevenbetterthanJothatlovecannotbeforced,soheshookhisheadsadlyandresolvedtocarryhisboyoutofharm’sway,forYoungImpetuosity’spartingwordstoJodisturbedhimmorethanhewouldconfess。
WhenLauriecamehome,deadtiredbutquitecomposed,hisgrandfathermethimasifheknewnothing,andkeptupthedelusionverysuccessfullyforanhourortwo。Butwhentheysattogetherinthetwilight,thetimetheyusedtoenjoysomuch,itwashardworkfortheoldmantorambleonasusual,andharderstillfortheyoungonetolistentopraisesofthelastyear’ssuccess,whichtohimnowseemedlikelove’slaborlost。Heboreitaslongashecould,thenwenttohispianoandbegantoplay。Thewindow’swereopen,andJo,walkinginthegardenwithBeth,foronceunderstoodmusicbetterthanhersister,forheplayedthe`SonataPathétique’,andplayeditasheneverdidbefore。
"That’sveryfine,Idaresay,butit’ssadenoughtomakeonecry。Giveussomethinggayer,lad,"saidMr。Laurence,whosekindoldheartwasfullofsympathy,whichhelongedtoshowbutknewnothow。
Lauriedashedintoalivelierstrain,playedstormilyforseveralminutes,andwouldhavegotthroughbravely,ifinamomentarylullMrs。March’svoicehadnotbeenheardcalling,"Jo,dear,comein。Iwantyou。"
JustwhatLaurielongedtosay,withadifferentmeaning!Ashelistened,helosthisplace,themusicendedwithabrokenchord,andthemusiciansatsilentinthedark。
"Ican’tstandthis,"mutteredtheoldgentleman。Uphegot,gropedhiswaytothepiano,laidakindhandoneitherofthebroadshoulders,andsaid,asgentlyasawoman,"Iknow,myboy,Iknow。"
Noanswerforaninstant,thenLaurieaskedsharply,"Whotoldyou?"
"Joherself。"
"Thenthere’sanendofit!"Andheshookoffhisgrandfather’shandswithanimpatientmotion,forthoughgratefulforthesympathy,hisman’spridecouldnotbearaman’spity。
"Notquite。Iwanttosayonething,andthenthereshallbeanendofit,"returnedMr。Laurencewithunusualmildness。"Youwon’tcaretostayathomenow,perhaps?"
"Idon’tintendtorunawayfromagirl。Jocan’tpreventmyseeingher,andIshallstayanddoitaslongasIlike,"interruptedLaurieinadefianttone。
"NotifyouarethegentlemanIthinkyou。I’mdisappointed,butthegirlcan’thelpit,andtheonlythingleftforyoutodoistogoawayforatime。Wherewillyougo?"
"Anywhere。Idon’tcarewhatbecomesofme。"AndLauriegotupwitharecklesslaughthatgratedonhisgrandfather’sear。
"Takeitlikeaman,anddon’tdoanythingrash,forGod’ssake。Whynotgoabroad,asyouplanned,andforgetit?"
"Ican’t。"
"Butyou’vebeenwildtogo,andIpromisedyoushouldwhenyougotthroughcollege。"
"Ah,butIdidn’tmeantogoalone!"AndLauriewalkedfastthroughtheroomwithanexpressionwhichitwaswellhisgrandfatherdidnotsee。
"Idon’taskyoutogoalone。There’ssomeonereadyandgladtogowithyou,anywhereintheworld。"
"Who,Sir?’stoppingtolisten。
"Myself。"
Lauriecamebackasquicklyashewent,andputouthishand,sayinghuskily,"I’maselfishbrute,but——youknow—Grandfather——"
"Lordhelpme,yes,Idoknow,forI’vebeenthroughitallbefore,onceinmyownyoungdays,andthenwithyourfather。Now,mydearboy,justsitquietlydownandhearmyplan。It’sallsettled,andcanbecarriedoutatonce,"saidMr。Laurence,keepingholdoftheyoungman,asiffearfulthathewouldbreakawayashisfatherhaddonebeforehim。
"Well,sir,whatisit?"AndLauriesatdown,withoutasignofinterestinfaceorvoice。
"ThereisbusinessinLondonthatneedslookingafter。Imeantyoushouldattendtoit,butIcandoitbettermyself,andthingsherewillgetonverywellwithBrooketomanagethem。Mypartnersdoalmosteverything,I’mmerelyholdingonuntilyoutakemyplace,andcanbeoffatanytime。"
"Butyouhatetraveling,Sir。Ican’taskitofyouatyourage,"beganLaurie,whowasgratefulforthesacrifice,butmuchpreferredtogoalone,ifhewentatall。Theoldgentlemanknewthatperfectlywell,andparticularlydesiredtopreventit,forthemoodinwhichhefoundhisgrandsonassuredhimthatitwouldnotbewisetoleavehimtohisowndevices。So,stiflinganaturalregretatthethoughtofthehomecomfortshewouldleavebehindhim,hesaidstoutly,Blessyoursoul,I’mnotsuperannuatedyet。Iquiteenjoytheidea。Itwilldomegood,andmyoldboneswon’tsuffer,fortravelingnowadaysisalmostaseasyassittinginachair。"
ArestlessmovementfromLauriesuggestedthathischairwasnoteasy,orthathedidnotliketheplan,andmadetheoldmanaddhastily,"Idon’tmeantobeamarplotoraburden。IgobecauseIthinkyou’dfeelhappierthanifIwasleftbehind。Idon’tintendtogadaboutwithyou,butleaveyoufreetogowhereyoulike,whileIamusemyselfinmyownway。I’vefriendsinLondonandParis,andshouldliketovisitthem。MeantimeyoucangotoItaly,Germany,Switzerland,whereyouwill,andenjoypictures,music,scenery,andadventurestoyourheart’scontent。"
Now,Lauriefeltjustthenthathisheartwasentirelybrokenandtheworldahowlingwilderness,butatthesoundofcertainwordswhichtheoldgentlemanartfullyintroducedintohisclosingsentence,thebrokenheartgaveanunexpectedleap,andagreenoasisortwosuddenlyappearedinthehowlingwilderness。Hesighed,andthensaid,inaspiritlesstone,"Justasyoulike,Sir。Itdoesn’tmatterwhereIgoorwhatIdo。"
"Itdoestome,rememberthat,mylad。Igiveyouentireliberty,butItrustyoutomakeanhonestuseofit。Promisemethat,Laurie。"
"Anythingyoulike,Sir。"
"Good,"thoughttheoldgentleman。"Youdon’tcarenow,butthere’llcomeatimewhenthatpromisewillkeepyououtofmischief,orI’mmuchmistaken。"
Beinganenergeticindividual,Mr。Laurencestruckwhiletheironwashot,andbeforetheblightedbeingrecoveredspiritenoughtorebel,theywereoff。Duringthetimenecessaryforpreparation,Laurieborehimselfasyounggentlemanusuallydoinsuchcases。Hewasmoody,irritable,andpensivebyturns,losthisappetite,neglectedhisdressanddevotedmuchtimetoplayingtempestuouslyonhispiano,avoidedJo,butconsoledhimselfbystaringatherfromhiswindow,withatragicfacethathauntedherdreamsbynightandoppressedherwithaheavysenseofguiltbyday。Unlikesomesufferers,heneverspokeofhisunrequitedpassion,andwouldallownoone,notevenMrs。March,toattemptconsolationoroffersympathy。Onsomeaccounts,thiswasarelieftohisfriends,buttheweeksbeforehisdeparturewereveryuncomfortable,andeveryonerejoicedthatthe`poor,dearfellowwasgoingawaytoforgethistrouble,andcomehomehappy’。Ofcourse,hesmileddarklyattheirdelusion,butpasseditbywiththesadsuperiorityofonewhoknewthathisfidelitylikehislovewasunalterable。
Whenthepartingcameheaffectedhighspirits,toconcealcertaininconvenientemotionswhichseemedinclinedtoassertthemselves。Thisgaietydidnotimposeuponanybody,buttheytriedtolookasifitdidforhissake,andhegotonverywelltillMrs。Marchkissedhim,whitawhisperfullofmotherlysolicitude。Thenfeelingthathewasgoingveryfast,hehastilyembracedthemallround,notforgettingtheafflictedHannah,andrandownstairsasifforhislife。Jofollowedaminuteaftertowaveherhandtohimifhelookedround。Hedidlookround,cameback,puthisarmsaboutherasshestoodonthestepabovehim,andlookedupatherwithafacethatmadehisshortappealeloquentandpathetic。
"Oh,Jo,can’tyou?"
"Teddy,dear,IwishIcould!"
Thatwasall,exceptalittlepause。ThenLauriestraightenedhimselfup,said,"It’sallright,nevermind,"andwentawaywithoutanotherword。Ah,butitwasn’tallright,andJodidmind,forwhilethecurlyheadlayonherarmaminuteafterherhardanswer,shefeltasifshehadstabbedherdearestfriend,andwhenheleftherwithoutalookbehindhim,sheknewthattheboyLaurieneverwouldcomeagain。
GoodWives:Chapter13CHAPTER13Beth’sSecretWhenJocamehomethatspring,shehadbeenstruckwiththechangeinBeth。Noonespokeofitorseemedawareofit,forithadcometoograduallytostartlethosewhosawherdaily,buttoeyessharpenedbyabsence,itwasveryplainandaheavyweightfellonJo’sheartasshesawhersister’sface。Itwasnopalerandbutlittlerthinnerthanintheautumn,yettherewasastrange,transparentlookaboutit,asifthemortalwasbeingslowlyrefinedaway,andtheimmortalshiningthroughthefrailfleshwithanindescribablypatheticbeauty。Josawandfeltit,butsaidnothingatthetime,andsoonthefirstimpressionlostmuchofitspower,forBethseemedhappy,nooneappearedtodoubtthatshewasbetter,andpresentlyinothercaresJoforatimeforgotherfear。
ButwhenLauriewasgone,andpeaceprevailedagain,thevagueanxietyreturnedandhauntedher。Shehadconfessedhersinsandbeenforgiven,butwhensheshowedhersavingsandproposedamountaintrip,Bethhadthankedherheartily,butbeggednottogosofarawayfromhome。Anotherlittlevisittotheseashorewouldsuitherbetter,andasGrandmacouldnotbeprevailedupontoleavethebabies,JotookBethdowntothequietplace,whereshecouldlivemuchintheopenair,andletthefreshseabreezesblowalittlecolorintoherpalecheeks。
Itwasnotafashionableplace,butevenamongthepleasantpeoplethere,thegirlsmadefewfriends,preferringtoliveforoneanother。Bethwastooshytoenjoysociety,andJotoowrappedupinhertocareforanyoneelse。Sotheywereallinalltoeachother,andcameandwent,quiteunconsciousoftheinteresttheyexitedinthoseaboutthem,whowatchedwithsympatheticeyesthestrongsisterandthefeebleone,alwaystogether,asiftheyfeltinstinctivelythatalongseparationwasnotfaraway。
Theydidfeelit,yetneitherspokeofit,foroftenbetweenourselvesandthosenearestanddearesttousthereexistsareservewhichitisveryhardtoovercome。JofeltasifaveilhadfallenbetweenherheartandBeth’s,butwhensheputoutherhandtoliftitup,thereseemedsomethingsacredinthesilence,andshewaitedforBethtospeak。Shewondered,andwasthankfulalso,thatherparentsdidnotseemtoseewhatshesaw,andduringthequietweekswhentheshadowsgrewsoplaintoher,shesaidnothingofittothoseathome,believingthatitwouldtellitselfwhenBethcamebacknobetter。Shewonderedstillmoreifhersisterreallyguessedthehardtruth,andwhatthoughtswerepassingthroughhermindduringthelonghourswhenshelayonthewarmrockswithherheadinJo’slap,whilethewindsblewhealthfullyoverherandtheseamademusicatherfeet。
OnedayBethtoldher。Jothoughtshewasasleep,shelaysostill,andputtingdownherbook,satlookingatherwithwistfuleyes,tryingtoseesignsofhopeinthefaintcoloronBeth’scheeks。Butshecouldnotfindenoughtosatisfyher,forthecheekswereverythin,andthehandsseemedtoofeebletoholdeventherosylittleshellstheyhadbeencollecting。ItcametoherthenmorebitterlythaneverthatBethwasslowlydriftingawayformher,andherarmsinstinctivelytightenedtheirholduponthedearesttreasureshepossessed。Foraminutehereyesweretoodimforseeing,andwhentheycleared,Bethwaslookingupathersotenderlythattherewashardlyanyneedforhertosay,"Jo,dear,I’mgladyouknowit。I’vetriedtotellyou,butIcouldn’t。"
Therewasnoanswerexcepthersister’scheekagainstherown,noteventears,forwhenmostdeeplymoved,Jodidnotcry。Shewastheweakerthen,landBethtriedtocomfortandsustainher,withherarmsaboutherandthesoothingwordsshewhisperedinherear。
"I’veknownitforagoodwhile,dear,andnowI’musedtoit,itisn’thardtothinkofortobear。Trytoseeitsoanddon’tbetroubledaboutme,becauseit’sbest,indeeditis。"
"Isthiswhatmadeyousounhappyintheautumn,Beth?Youdidnotfeelitthen,landkeepittoyourselfsolong,didyou?"askedJo,refusingtoseeorsaythatitwasbest,butgladtoknowthatLauriehadnopartinBeth’strouble。
"Yes,Igaveuphopingthen,butIdidn’tliketoownit。Itriedtothinkitwasasickfancy,andwouldnotletittroubleanyone。ButwhenIsawyouallsowellandstrongandfullofhappyplans,itwashardtofeelthatIcouldneverbelikeyou,andthenIwasmiserable,Jo。"
"Oh,Beth,andyoudidn’ttellme,didn’tletmecomfortandhelpyou?Howcouldyoushutmeout,bearitallalone?"
Jo’svoicewasfulloftenderreproach,andherheartachedtothinkofthesolitarystrugglethatmusthavegoneonwhileBethlearnedtosaygoodbyetohealth,love,andlive,andtakeuphercrosssocheerfully。
"Perhapsitwaswrong,butItriedtodoright。Iwasn’tsure,noonesaidanything,andIhopedIwasmistaken。ItwouldhavebeenselfishtofrightenyouallwhenMarmeewassoanxiousaboutMeg,andAmyaway,andyousohappywithLaurie——atleastIthoughtsothen。"
"AndIthoughtyoulovedhim,Beth,andIwentawaybecauseIcouldn’t,"criedJo,gladtosayallthetruth。
BethlookedsoamazedattheideathatJosmiledinspiteofherpain,andaddedsoftly,"Thenyoudidn’t,dearie?Iwasafraiditwasso,andimaginedyourpoorlittleheartfulloflovelornityallthatwhile。"
"Why,Jo,howcouldI,whenhewassofondofyou?"askedBeth,asinnocentlyasachild。"Idolovehimdearly。Heissogoodtome,howcanIhelpIt?Buthecouldneverbeanythingtomebutmybrother。Ihopehetrulywillbe,sometime。"
"Notthroughme,"saidJodecidedly。"Amyisleftforhim,andtheywouldsuitexcellently,butIhavenoheartforsuchthings,now。Idon’tcarewhatbecomesofanybodybutyou,Beth。Youmustgetwell。"
"Iwantto,oh,somuch!Itry,buteverydayIlosealittle,andfeelmoresurethatIshallnevergainitback。It’slikethetide,Jo,whenitturns,itgoesslowly,butitcan’tbestopped……"
"Itshallbestopped,yourtidemustnotturnsosoon,nineteenistooyoung,Beth。Ican’tletyougo。I’llworkandprayandfightagainstit。I’llkeepyouinspiteofeverything。Theremustbeways,itcan’tbetoolate。Godwon’tbesocruelastotakeyoufromme,"criedpoorJorebelliously,forherspiritwasfarlesspiouslysubmissivethanBeth’s。
Simple,sincerepeopleseldomspeakmuchoftheirpiety。Itshowsitselfinactsratherthaninwords,andhasmoreinfluencethanhomiliesorprotestations。Bethcouldnotreasonuponorexplainthefaiththatgavehercourageandpatiencetogiveuplife,andcheerfullywaitfordeath。Likeaconfidingchild,sheaskednoquestions,butlefteverythingtoGodandnature,FatherandMotherofusall,feelingsurethatthey,andtheyonly,couldteachandstrengthenheartandspiritforthislifeandthelifetocome。ShedidnotrebukeJowithsaintlyspeeches,onlylovedherbetterforherpassionateaffection,andclungmorecloselytothedearhumanlove,fromwhichourFathernevermeansustobeweaned,butthroughwhichHedrawsusclosertoHimself。Shecouldnotsay,"I’mgladtogo,"forlifewasverysweetforher。Shecouldonlysobout,"Itrytobewilling,"whilesheheldfasttoJo,asthefirstbitterwaveofthisgreatsorrowbrokeoverthemtogether。
ByandbyBethsaid,withrecoveredserenity,"You’lltellthemthiswhenwegohome?"
"Ithinktheywillseeitwithoutwords,"sighedJo,fornowitseemedtoherthatBethchangedeveryday。
"Perhapsnot。I’veheardthatthepeoplewholovebestareoftenblindesttosuchthings。Iftheydon’tseeit,youwilltellthemforme。Idon’twantanysecrets,andit’skindertopreparethem。MeghasJohnandthebabiestocomforther,butyoumuststandbyFatherandMother,won’tyouJo?"
"IfIcan。But,Beth,Idon’tgiveupyet。I’mgoingtobelievethatitisasickfancy,andnotletyouthinkit’strue。"saidJo,tryingtospeakcheerfully。
Bethlayaminutethinking,andthensaidinherquietway,"Idon’tknowhowtoexpressmyself,andshouldn’ttrytoanyonebutyou,becauseIcan’tspeakoutexcepttomyJo。IonlymeantosaythatIhaveafeelingthatitneverwasintendedIshouldlivelong。I’mnotliketherestofyou。InevermadeanyplansaboutwhatI’ddowhenIgrewup。Ineverthoughtofbeingmarried,asyoualldid。Icouldn’tseemtoimaginemyselfanythingbutstupidlittleBeth,trottingaboutathome,ofnouseanywherebutthere。Ineverwantedtogoaway,andthehardpartnowistheleavingyouall。I’mnotafraid,butitseemsasifIshouldbehomesickforyoueveninheaven。"
Jocouldnotspeak,andforseveralminutestherewasnosoundbutthesighofthewindandthelappingofthetide。Awhite—wingedgullflewby,withtheflashofsunshineonitssilverybreast。Bethwatchedittillitvanished,andhereyeswerefullofsadness。Alittlegray—coatedsandbirdcametrippingoverthebeach`peeping’softlytoitself,asifenjoyingthesunandsea。ItcamequiteclosetoBeth,andlookedatherwithafriendlyeyeandsatuponawarmstone,dressingitswetfeathers,quiteathome。Bethsmiledandfeltcomforted,forthetinythingseemedtoofferitssmallfriendshipandremindherthatapleasantworldwasstilltobeenjoyed。
"Dearlittlebird!See,Jo,howtameitis。Ilikepeepsbetterthanthegulls。Theyarenotsowildandhandsome,buttheyseemhappy,confidinglittlethings。Iusedtocallthemmybirdslastsummer,andMothersaidtheyremindedherofme——busy,quaker—coloredcreatures,alwaysneartheshore,andalwayschirpingthatcontentedlittlesongoftheirs。Youarethegull,Jo,strongandwild,fondofthestormandthewind,flyingfarouttosea,andhappyallalone。Megistheturtledove,andAmyislikethelarkshewriteabout,tryingtogetupamongtheclouds,butalwaysdroppingdownintoitsnestagain。Dearlittlegirl!She’ssoambitious,butherheartisgoodandtender,andnomatterhowhighsheflies,sheneverwillforgethome。IhopeIshallseeheragain,butsheseemssofaraway。"
"Sheiscominginthespring,andImeanthatyoushallbeallreadytoseeandenjoyher。I’mgoingtohaveyouwellandrosybythattime。"beganJo,feelingthatofallthechangesinBeth,thetalkingchangewasthegreatest,foritseemedtocostnoeffortnow,andshethoughtaloudinawayquiteunlikebashfulBeth。
"Jo,dear,don’thopeanymore。Itwon’tdoanygood。I’msureofthat。Wewon’tbemiserable,butenjoybeingtogetherwhilewewait。We’llhavehappytimes,forIdon’tsuffermuch,andIthinkthetidewillgoouteasily,ifyouhelpme。"
Joleaneddowntokissthetranquilface,andwiththatsilentkiss,shededicatedherselfsoulandbodytoBeth。
Shewasright。Therewasnoneedofanywordswhentheygothome,forFatherandMothersawplainlynowwhattheyhadprayedtobesavedfromseeing。Tiredwithhershortjourney,Bethwentatoncetobed,sayinghowgladshewastobehome,andwhenJowentdown,shefoundthatshewouldbesparedthehardtaskoftellingBeth’ssecret。Herfatherstoodleaninghisheadonthemantelpieceanddidnotturnasshecamein,buthermotherstretchedoutherarmsasifforhelp,andJowenttocomfortherwithoutaword。
GoodWives:Chapter14CHAPTER14NewImpressionsAtthreeo’clockintheafternoon,allthefashionableworldatNicemaybeseenonthePromenadedesAnglais——acharmingplace,forthewidewalk,borderedwithpalms,flowers,andtropicalshrubs,isboundedononesidebythesea,ontheotherbythegranddrive,linedwithhotelsandvillas,whilebeyondlieorangeorchardsandthehills。Manynationsarerepresented,manylanguagesspoken,manycostumesworn,andonasunnydaythespectacleisasgayandbrilliantasacarnival。HaughtyEnglish,livelyFrench,soberGermans,handsomeSpaniards,uglyRussians,meekJews,free—and—easyAmericans,alldrive,sit,orsaunterhere,chattingoverthenews,andcriticzingthelatestcelebritywhohasarrived——RistoriorDickens,VictorEmmanuelortheQueenoftheSandwichIslands。Theequipagesareasvariedasthecompanyandattractasmuchattention,especiallythelowbasketbarouchesinwhichladiesdrivethemselves,withapairofdashingponies,gaynetstokeeptheirvoluminousflouncesfromoverflowingthediminutivevehicles,andlittlegroomsontheperchbehind。
Alongthiswalk,onChristmasDay,atallyoungmanwalkedslowly,withhishandsbehindhim,andasomewhatabsentexpressionofcountenance。HelookedlikeanItalian,wasdressedlikeanEnglishman,andhadtheindependentairofanAmerican——acombinationwhichcausedsundrypairsoffeminineeyestolookapprovinglyafterhim,andsundrydandiesinblackvelvetsuits,withrose—coloredneckties,buffgloves,andorangeflowersintheirbuttonholes,toshrugtheirshoulders,andthenenvyhimhisinches。Therewereplentyofprettyfacestoadmire,buttheyoungmantooklittlenoticeofthem,excepttoglancenowandthenatsomeblondegirlinblue。Presentlyhestrolledoutofthepromenadeandstoodamomentatthecrossing,asifundecidedwhethertogoandlistentothebandintheJardinPublique,ortowanderalongthebeachtowardCastleHill。Thequicktrotofponiesfeetmadehimlookup,asoneofthelittlecarriages,containingasingleyounglady,camerapidlydownthestreet。Theladywasyoung,blonde,anddressedinblue。Hestaredaminute,thenhiswholefacewokeup,and,wavinghishatlikeaboy,hehurriedforwardtomeether。
"Oh,Laurie,isitreallyyou?Ithoughtyou’dnevercome!"criedAmy,droppingthereinsandholdingoutbothhands,tothegreatscandalizationofaFrenchmamma,whohastenedherdaughter’ssteps,lestsheshouldbedemoralizedbybeholdingthefreemannersofthese`madEnglish’。
"Iwasdetainedbytheway,butIpromisedtospendChristmaswithyou,andhereIam。"
"Howisyourgrandfather?Whendidyoucome?Whereareyoustaying?"
"Verywell——lastnight——attheChauvain。Icalledatyourhotel,butyouwereout。"
"Ihavesomuchtosay,Idon’tknowwheretobegin!Getinandwecantalkatourease。Iwasgoingforadriveandlongingforcompany。Flo’ssavingupfortonight。"
"Whathappensthen,aball?"
"AChristmaspartyatouthotel。TherearemanyAmericansthere,andtheygiveitinhonoroftheday。You’llgowithus,ofcourse?Auntwillbecharmed。"
"Thankyou。Wherenow?"askedLaurie,leaningbackandfoldinghisarms,aproceedingwhichsuitedAmy,whopreferredtodrive,forherparasolwhipandbluereinsoverthewhiteponiesbacksaffordedherinfinitesatisfaction。
"I’mgoingtothebankersfirstforletters,andthentoCastleHill。Theviewissolovely,andIliketofeedthepeacocks。Haveyoueverbeenthere?"
"Often,yearsago,butIdon’tmindhavingalookatit。"
"Nowtellmeallaboutyourself。ThelastIheardofyou,yourgrandfatherwrotethatheexpectedyoufromBerlin。""Yes,IspentamonththereandthenjoinedhiminParis,wherehehassettledforthewinter。Hehasfriendsthereandfindsplentytoamusehim,soIgoandcome,andwegotoncapitally。"
"That’sasociablearrangement,"saidAmy,missingsomethinginLaurie’smanner,thoughshecouldn’ttellwhat。
"Why,yousee,hehatestotravel,andIhatetokeepstill,soweeachsuitourselves,andthereisnotrouble。Iamoftenwithhim,andheenjoysmyadventures,whileIliketofeelthatsomeoneisgladtoseemewhenIgetbackfrommywanderings。Dirtyoldhole,isn’tit?"headded,withalookofdisgustastheydrovealongtheboulevardtothePlaceNapoleonintheoldcity。
"Thedirtispicturesque,soIdon’tmind。Theriverandthehillsaredelicious,andtheseglimpsesofthenarrowcrossstreetsaremydelight。Nowweshallhavetowaitforthatprocessiontopass。It’sgoingtotheChurchofSt。John。"
WhileLaurielistlesslywatchedtheprocessionofpriestsundertheircanopies,white—veilednunsbearinglightedtapers,andsomebrotherhoodinbluechantingastheywalked,Amywatchedhim,andfeltanewsortofshynessstealoverher,forhewaschanged,andshecouldnotfindthemerry—facedboysheleftinthemoody—lookingmanbesideher。Hewashandsomerthaneverandgreatlyimproved,shethought,butnowthattheflushofpleasureatmeetingherwasover,helookedtiredandspiritless——notsick,norexactlyunhappy,butolderandgraverthanayearortwoofprosperouslifeshouldhavemadehim。Shecouldn’tunderstanditanddidnotventuretoaskquestions,sosheshookherheadandtouchedupherponies,astheprocessionwoundawayacrossthearchesofthePaglionibridgeandvanishedinthechurch。
"Quepensez—vous?"shesaid,airingherFrench,whichhadimprovedinquantity,ifnotinquality,sinceshecameabroad。
"Thatmademoisellehasmadegooduseofhertime,andtheresultischarming,"repliedLaurie,bowingwithhishandonhisheartandanadmiringlook。
Sheblushedwithpleasure,butsomehowthecomplimentdidnotsatisfyherlikethebluntpraisesheusedtogiveherathome,whenhepromenadedroundheronfestivaloccasions,andtoldhershewas`altogetherjolly’,withaheartysmileandanapprovingpatonthehead。Shedidn’tlikethenewtone,forthoughnotblase,itsoundedindifferentinspiteofthelook。
"Ifthat’sthewayhe’sgoingtogrowup,Iwishhe’sstayaboy,"shethought,withacurioussenseofdisappointmentanddiscomfort,tryingmeantimetoseemquiteeasyandgay。
AtAvigdor’sshefoundtheprecioushomelettersand,givingthereinstoLaurie,readthemluxuriouslyastheywounduptheshadyroadbetweengreenhedges,wheretearosesbloomedasfreshlyasinJune。
"Bethisverypoorly,Mothersays。IoftenthinkIoughttogohome,buttheyallsay`stay’。SoIdo,forIshallneverhaveanotherchancelikethis,"saidAmy,lookingsoberoveronepage。
"Ithinkyouareright,there。Youcoulddonothingathome,anditisagreatcomforttothemtoknowthatyouarewellandhappy,andenjoyingsomuch,mydear。"
Hedrewalittlenearer,andlookedmorelikehisoldselfashesaidthat,andthefearthatsometimesweighedonAmy’sheartwaslightened,forthelook,theact,thebrotherly`mydear’,seemedtoassureherthatifanytroubledidcome,shewouldnotbealoneinastrangeland。PresentlyshelaughedandshowedhimasmallsketchofJoinherscribblingsuit,withthebowrampantlyerectuponhercap,andissuingfromhermouththewords,`Geniusburns!’。
第4章