Now,theoldsofawasaregularpatriarchofasofa——long,broad,well—cushioned,andlow,atrifleshabby,aswellitmightbe,forthegirlshadsleptandsprawledonitasbabies,fishedovertheback,rodeonthearms,andhadmenageriesunderitaschildren,andrestedtiredheads,dreameddreams,andlistenedtotendertalkonitasyoungwomen。Theyalllovedit,foritwasafamilyrefuge,andonecornerhadalwaysbeenJo’sfavoriteloungingplace。Amongthemanypillowsthatadornedthevenerablecouchwasone,hard,round,coveredwithpricklyhorsehair,andfurnishedwithaknobbybuttonateachend。Thisrepulsivepillowwasherespecialproperty,beingusedasaweaponofdefense,abarricade,orasternpreventiveoftoomuchslumber。
Laurieknewthispillowwell,andhadcausetoregarditwithdeepaversion,havingbeenunmercifullypummeledwithitinformerdayswhenrompingwasallowed,andnowfrequentlydebarredbyitfromtheseathemostcovetednexttoJointhesofacorner。If`thesausage’asthecalledit,stoodonend,itwasasignthathemightapproachandrepose,butifitlayflatacrossthesofa,woetoman,woman,orchildwhodareddisturbit!ThateveningJoforgottobarricadehercorner,andhadnotbeeninherseatfiveminutes,beforeamassiveformappearedbesideher,andwithbotharmsspreadoverthesofaback,bothlonglegsstretchedoutbeforehim,Laurieexclaimed,withasighofsatisfaction……
"Now,thisisfillingattheprice。"
"Noslang,"snappedJo,slammingdownthepillow。Butitwastoolate,therewasnoroomforit,andcoastingontothefloor,itdisappearedinamostmysteriousmanner。
"Come,Jo,don’tbethorny。Afterstudyinghimselftoaskeletonalltheweek,afellowdeservespettingandoughttogetit。"
"Bethwillpetyou。I’mbusy。"
"No,she’snottobebotheredwithme,butyoulikethatsortofthing,unlessyou’vesuddenlylostyourtasteforit。Haveyou?Doyouhateyourboy,andwanttofirepillowsathim?"
Anythingmorewheedlesomethanthattouchingappealwasseldomheard,butJoquenched`herboy’byturningonhimwithasternquery,"HowmanybouquetshaveyousentMissRandalthisweek?"
"Notone,uponmyword。She’sengaged。Nowthen。"
"I’mgladofit,that’soneofyourfoolishextravagances,sendingflowersandthingstogirlsforwhomyoudon’tcaretwopins,"continuedJoreprovingly。
"SensiblegirlsforwhomIdocarewholepapersofpinswon’tletmesendthem`flowersandthings’,sowhatcanIdo?Myfeelingsneeda`vent’。"
"Motherdoesn’tapproveofflirtingeveninfun,andyoudoflirtdesperately,Teddy。"
"I’dgiveanythingifIcouldanswer,`Sodoyou’。AsIcan’t,I’llmerelysaythatIdon’tseeanyharminthatpleasantlittlegame,ifallpartiesunderstandthatit’sonlyplay。"
"Well,itdoeslookpleasant,butIcan’tlearnhowit’sdone。I’vetried,becauseonefeelsawkwardincompanynottodoaseverybodyelseiddoing,butIdon’tseemtogeton",saidJo,forgettingtoplaymentor。
"TakelessonsofAmy,shehasaregulartalentforit。"
"Yes,shedoesitveryprettily,andneverseemstogotoofar。Isupposeit’snaturaltosomepeopletopleasewithouttrying,andotherstoalwayssayanddothewrongthinginthewrongplace。"
"I’mgladyoucan’tflirt。It’sreallyrefreshingtoseeasensible,straightforwardgirl,whocanbejollyandkindwithoutmakingafoolofherself。Betweenourselves,Jo,someofthegirlsIknowreallydogoonatsucharateI’mashamedofthem。Theydon’tmeananyharm,I’msure,butiftheyknewhowwefellowstalkedaboutthemafterward,they’dmendtheirways,Ifancy。"
"Theydothesame,andastheirtonguesarethesharpest,youfellowsgettheworstofit,foryouareassillyasthey,everybit。Ifyoubehavedproperly,theywould,butknowingyouliketheirnonsense,theykeepitup,andthenyoublamethem。"
"Muchyouknowaboutit,ma’am,"saidLaurieinasuperiortone。"Wedon’tlikerompsandflirts,thoughwemayactasifwedidsometimes。Thepretty,modestgirlsarenevertalkedabout,exceptrespectfully,amonggentleman。Blessyourinnocentsoul!Ifyoucouldbeinmyplaceforamonthyou’dseethingsthatwouldastonishyouatrifle。Uponmyword,whenIseeoneofthoseharum—scarumgirls,IalwayswanttosaywithourfriendCockRobin……"Outuponyou,fieuponyou,Bold—facedjig!"
ItwasimpossibletohelplaughingatthefunnyconflictbetweenLaurie’schivalrousreluctancetospeakillofwomankind,andhisverynaturaldislikeoftheunfemininefollyofwhichfashionablesocietyshowedhimmanysamples。Joknewthat`youngLaurence’wasregardedasamosteligiblepartibyworldlymamas,wasmuchsmileduponbytheirdaughters,andflatteredenoughbyladiesofallagestomakeacoxcombofhim,soshewatchedhimratherjealously,fearinghewouldbespoiled,andrejoicedmorethansheconfessedtofindthathestillbelievedinmodestgirls。Returningsuddenlytoheradmonitorytone,shesaid,droppinghervoice,"Ifyoumusthavea`went’,Teddy,goanddevoteyourselftooneofthe`pretty,modestgirls’whomyoudorespect,andnotwasteyourtimewiththesillyones。"
"Youreallyadviseit?"AndLaurielookedatherwithanoddmixtureofanxietyandmerrimentinhisface。
"Yes,Ido,butyou’dbetterwaittillyouarethroughcollege,onthewhole,andbefittingyourselffortheplacemeantime。You’renothalfgoodenoughfor——well,whoeverthemodestgirlmaybe。"AndJolookedalittlequeerlikewise,foranamehadalmostescapedher。
"ThatI’mnot!"acquiescedLaurie,withanexpressionofhumilityquitenewtohim,ashedroppedhiseyesandabsentlywoundJo’saprontasselroundhisfinger。
"Mercyonus,thiswillneverdo,"thoughtJo,addingaloud,"Goandsingtome。I’mdyingforsomemusic,andalwayslikeyours。"
"I’dratherstayhere,thankyou。"
"Well,youcan’t,thereisn’troom。Goandmakeyourselfuseful,sinceyouaretoobigtobeornamental。Ithoughtyouhatedtobetiedtoawoman’sapronstring?"retortedJo,quotingcertainrebelliouswordsofhisown。
"Ah,thatdependsonwhowearstheapron!"andLauriegaveanaudacioustweakatthetassel。
"Areyougoing?"demandedJo,divingforthepillow。
Hefledatonce,andtheminuteitwaswell,"UpwiththebonnetsofbonnieDundee,"sheslippedawaytoreturnnomoretilltheyounggentlemandepartedinhighdudgeon。
Jolaylongawakethatnight,andwasjustdroppingoffwhenthesoundofastifledsobmadeherflytoBeth’sbedside,withtheanxiousinquiry,"Whatisit,dear?"
"Ithoughtyouwereasleep,"sobbedBeth。
"Isittheoldpain,myprecious?’
"No,it’sanewone,butIcanbearit。"AndBethtriedtocheckhertears。
"Tellmeallaboutit,andletmecureitasIoftendidtheother。"
"Youcan’t,thereisnocure。"ThereBeth’svoicegaveway,andclingingtohersister,shecriedsodespairinglythatJowasfrightened。
"Whereisit?ShallIcallMother?"
"No,no,don’tcallher,don’ttellher。Ishallbebettersoon。Liedownhereand`poor’myhead。I’llbequietandgotosleep,indeedIwill。"Joobeyed,butasherhandwentsoftlytoandfroacrossBeth’shotforeheadandweteyelids,herheartwasveryfullandshelongedtospeak。Butyoungasshewas,Johadlearnedthathearts,likeflowers,cannotberudelyhandled,butmustopennaturally,sothoughshebelievedsheknewthecauseofBeth’snewpain,sheonlysaid,inhertenderesttone,"Doesanythingtroubleyou,deary?"
"Yes,Jo,"afteralongpause。
"Wouldn’titcomfortyoutotellmewhatitis?"
"notnow,notyet。"
"ThenIwon’task,butremember,Bethy,thatMotherandJoarealwaysgladtohearandhelpyou,iftheycan。"
"Iknowit。I’lltellyouby—and—by。"
"Isthepainbetternow?"
"Oh,yes,muchbetter,youaresocomfortable,Jo。"
"Gotosleep,dear。I’llstaywithyou。"
Socheektocheektheyfellasleep,andonthemorrowBethseemedquiteherselfagain,forateighteenneitherheadsnorheartsachelong,andalovingwordcanmedicinemostills。
ButJohadmadeuphermind,andafterponderingoveraprojectforsomedays,sheconfidedittohermother。
"Youaskedmetheotherdaywhatmywisheswere。I’lltellyouoneofthem,Marmee,"shebegan,astheysatalongtogether。"Iwanttogoawaysomewherethiswinterforachange。"
"Why,Jo?"Andhermotherlookedupquickly,asifthewordssuggestedadoublemeaning。
WithhereyesonherworkJoansweredsoberly,"Iwantsomethingnew。Ifeelrestlessandanxioustobeseeing,doing,andlearningmorethanIam。Ibroodtoomuchovermyownsmallaffairs,andneedstirringup,soasIcanbesparedthiswinter,I’dliketohopalittlewayandtrymywings。"
"Wherewillyouhop?"
"ToNewYork。Ihadabrightideayesterday,andthisisit。YouknowMrs。Kirkewrotetoyouforsomerespectableyoungpersontoteachherchildrenandsew。It’sratherhardtofindjustthething,butIthinkIshouldsuitifItried。"
"Mydear,goouttoserviceinthatgreatboardinghouse!"AndMrs。Marchlookedsurprised,butnotdispleased。
"It’snotexactlygoingouttoservice,forMrs。Kirkeisyourfriend——thekindestsoulthateverlived——andwouldmakethingspleasantforme,Iknow。Herfamilyisseparatefromtherest,andnooneknowsmethere。Don’tcareiftheydo。It’shonestwork,andI’mnotashamedofit。"
"NorI。Butyourwriting?"
"Allthebetterforthechange。Ishallseeandhearnewthings,getnewideas,andevenifIhaven’tmuchtimethere,Ishallbringhomequantitiesofmaterialformyrubbish。"
"Ihavenodoubtofit,butaretheseyouronlyreasonsforthissuddenfancy?’
"No,Mother。"
"MayIknowtheothers?"
JolookedupandJolookeddown,thensaidslowly,withsuddencolorinhercheeks。"Itmaybevainandwrongtosayit,but——I’mafraid——Laurieisgettingtoofondofme。"
"Thenyoudon’tcareforhiminthewayitisevidenthebeginstocareforyou?’AndMrs。Marchlookedanxiousassheputthequestion。
"Mercy,no!Ilovethedearboy,asIalwayshave,andamimmenselyproudofhim,butasforanythingmore,it’soutofthequestion。"
"I’mgladofthat,Jo。"
"Why,please?’
"Because,dear,Idon’tthinkyousuitedtooneanother。Asfriendsyouareveryhappy,andyourfrequentquarrelssoonblowover,butIfearyouwouldbothrebelifyouwerematedforlife。Youaretoomuchalikeandtoofondoffreedom,nottomentionhottempersandstrongwills,togetonhappilytogether,inarelationwhichneedsinfinitepatienceandforbearance,aswellaslove。"
"That’sjustthefeelingIhad,thoughIcouldn’texpressit。I’mgladyouthinkheisonlybeginningtocareforme。Itwouldtroublemesadlytomakehimunhappy,forIcouldn’tfallinlovewiththedearoldfellowmerelyoutofgratitude,couldI?"
"Youaresureofhisfeelingforyou?"
ThecolordeepenedinJo’scheeksassheanswered,withthelookofmingledpleasure,pride,andpainwhichyounggirlswearwhenspeakingoffirstlovers,"I’mafraiditisso,Mother。Hehasn’tsaidanything,buthelooksagreatdeal。IthinkIhadbettergoawaybeforeitcomestoanything。"
"Iagreewithyou,andifitcanbemanagedyoushallgo。"
Jolookedrelieved,andafterapause,said,smiling,"HowMrs。Moffatwouldwonderatyourwantofmanagement,ifsheknew,andhowshewillrejoicethatAnniemaystillhope。"
"AH,Jo,mothersmaydifferintheirmanagement,butthehopeisthesameinall——thedesiretoseetheirchildrenhappy。Megisso,andIamcontentwithhersuccess。YouIleavetoenjoyyourlibertytillyoutireofit,foronlythenwillyoufindthatthereissomethingsweeter。Amyismychiefcarenow,buthergoodsensewillhelp;her。ForBeth,Iindulgenohopesexceptthatshemaybewell。Bytheway,sheseemsbrighterthislastdayortwo。Haveyouspokentoher?’
"Yes,sheownedshehadatrouble,andpromisedtotellmeby—and—by。Isaidnomore,forIthinkIknowit,"AndJotoldherlittlestory。
Mrs。Marchshookherhead,anddidnottakesoromanticaviewofthecase,butlookedgrave,andrepeatedheropinionthatforLaurie’ssakeJoshouldgoawayforatime。
"Letussaynothingaboutittohimtilltheplanissettled,thenI’llrunawaybeforehecancollecthiswitsandbetragic。BethmustthinkI’mgoingtopleasemyself,asIam,forIcan’ttalkaboutLaurietoher。ButshecanpetandcomforthimafterI’mgone,andsocurehimofthisromanticnotion。He’sbeenthroughsomanylittletrialsofthesort,he’susedtoit,andwillsoongetoverhislovelornity。"
Jospokehopefully,butcouldnotridherselfoftheforebodingfearthatthis`littletrial’wouldbeharderthantheothers,andthatLauriewouldnotgetoverhis`lovelornity’aseasilyasheretofore。
Theplanwastalkedoverinafamilycouncilandagreedupon,forMrs。KirkegladlyacceptedJo,andpromisedtomakeapleasanthomeforher。Theteachingwouldrenderherindependent,andsuchleisureasshegotmightbemadeprofitablebywriting,whilethenewscenesandsocietywouldbebothusefulandagreeable。Jolikedtheprospectandwaseagertobegone,forthehomenestwasgrowingtoonarrowforherrestlessnatureandadventurousspirit。Whenallwassettled,withfearandtremblingshetoldLaurie,buttohersurprisehetookitveryquietly。Hehadbeengraverthanusualoflate,butverypleasant,andwhenjokinglyaccusedofturningoveranewleaf,heansweredsoberly,"SoIam,andImeanthisoneshallstayturned。"
Jowasverymuchrelievedthatoneofhisvirtuousfitsshouldcomeonjustthen,andmadeherpreparationswithalightenedheart,forBethseemedmorecheerful,andhopedshewasdoingthebestforall。
"OnethingIleaveinyourespecialcare,"shesaid,thenightbeforesheleft。
"Youmeanyourpapers?"askedBeth。"No,myboy。Beverygoodtohim,won’tyou?"
"OfcourseIwill,butIcan’tfillyourplace,andhe’llmissyousadly。"
"Itwon’thurthim,soremember,Ileavehiminyourcharge,toplague,pet,andkeepinorder。"
"I’lldomybest,foryoursake,"promisedBeth,wonderingwhyJolookedathersoqueerly。
WhenLauriesaidgood—by,hewhisperedsignificantly,"Itwon’tdoabitofgood,Jo。Myeyeisonyou,somindwhatyoudo,orI’llcomeandbringyouhome。"
第18章