首页 >出版文学> The Turmoil>第9章

第9章

  "That'ssensible,"sheresponded,curtly。"You'remostsurprisingofallwhenyou'resensible,Bibbs。"
  "Yes,"hesighed。"I'madulldog。Shakehandsandforgiveme,Edith。"
  Thawingsofarastosmile,sheunderwentthisbriefceremony,andGeorgeappeared,summoningBibbstothelibrary;Dr。Gurneywaswaitingthere,heannounced。AndBibbsgavehissisterashybutfriendlytouchupontheshoulderasacomplementtothehandshaking,andlefther。
  Dr。Gurneywassittingbythelogfire,aloneintheroom,andhemerelyglancedoverhisshoulderwhenhispatientcamein。Hewasnotoverfifty,inspiteofSheridan'shabitual"oleDocGurney。"Hewasgray,however,almostasthinasBibbs,andnearlyalwayshelookeddrowsy。
  "Yourfathertelephonedmeyesterdayafternoon,Bibbs,"hesaid,notrising。
  "Wantsmeto'lookyouover'again。Comearoundhereinfrontofme——betweenmeandthefire。IwanttoseeifIcanseethroughyou。"
  "Youmeanyou'retoosleepytomove,"returnedBibbs,complying。"Ithinkyou'llnoticethatI'mgettingworse。"
  "Takenonabouttwelvepounds,"saidGurney。"Thirteen,maybe。"
  "Twelve。"
  "Well,itwon'tdo。"Thedoctorrubbedhiseyelids。"You'resomuchbetterI'llhavetousesomemachineryonyoubeforewecanknowjustwhereyouare。
  Youcomedowntomyplacethisafternoon。Walkdown——alltheway。Isupposeyouknowwhyyourfatherwantstoknow。"
  Bibbsnodded。"Machine—shop。"
  "Stillhateit?"
  Bibbsnoddedagain。
  "Don'tblameyou!"thedoctorgrunted。"Yes,Iexpectit'llmakealumpinyourgizzardagain。Well,whatdoyousay?ShallItellhimyou'vegottheoldlumpthereyet?Youstillwanttowrite,doyou?"
  "What'stheuse?"Bibbssaid,smilingruefully。"Mykindofwriting!"
  "Yes,"thedoctoragreed。"Isupposeityoubrokeawayandlivedonrootsandberriesuntilyoubeganto'attractthefavorableattentionofeditors'
  youmightbeabletohopeforanincomeoffourorfivehundreddollarsayearbythetimeyou'refifty。"
  "That'saboutit,"Bibbsmurmured。
  "OfcourseIknowwhatyouwanttodo,"saidGurney,drowsily。"Youdon'thatethemachine—shoponly;youhatethewholeshow——thenoiceandjaranddirt,thescramble——thewholebloomin'crazeto'geton。'You'dliketogosomewhereinAlgiers,ortoTaormina,perhaps,andbaskonabalcony,smellingflowersandwritingsonnets。You'dgrowfatonitandhaveadelicatelittlelifealltoyourself。Well,whatdoyousay?Icanlielikesixty,Bibbs!ShallItellyourfatherhe'llloseanotherofhisboysifyoudon'tgotoSicily?"
  "Idon'twanttogotoSicily,"saidBibbs。"Iwanttostayrighthere。"
  Thedoctor'sdrowsinessdisappearedforamoment,andhegavehispatientasharpglance。"It'sarisk,"hesaid。"Ithinkwe'llfindyou'resomuchbetterhe'llsendyoubacktotheshopprettyquick。Something'sgotholdofyoulately;you'renotquitesolackadaisicalasyouusedtobe。ButIwarnyou:Ithinktheshopwillknockyoujustasitdidbefore,andperhapsevenharder,Bibbs。"
  Herose,shookhimself,andrubbedhiseyelids。"Well,whenwegooveryouthisafternoonwhatarewegoingtosayaboutit?"
  "TellhimI'mready,"saidBibbs,lookingatthefloor。
  "Ohno,"Gurneylaughed。"Notquiteyet;butyoumaybealmost。We'llsee。
  Don'tforgetIsaidtowalkdown。"
  Andwhentheexaminationwasconcluded,thatafternoon,thedoctorinformedBibbsthattheresultwasmuchtoosatisfactorytobepleasing。"Here'sanew'situation'foraone—actfarce,"hesaid,gloomily,tohisnextpatientwhenBibbshadgone。"Doctortellsamanhe'swell,andthat'shisdeathsentence,likely。Dam'funnyworld!"
  Bibbsdecidedtowalkhome,thoughGurneyhadnotinstructedhimuponthispoint。Infact,Gurneyseemedtohavenomoreinstructionsonanypoint,sodiscouragingwastheyoungman'simprovement。Itwasadingyafternoon,andthesmokewasevidentnotonlytoBibbs'ssight,buttohisnostrils,thoughmostofthepedestriansweresosaturatedwiththesmelltheycouldnolongerdetectit。Nearlyallofthemwalkedhurriedly,toointentupontheirdestinationstobemorethanhalfawareofthewayside;theyworetheexpressionsofpeopleunderavagueyetconstantstrain。Theywerealllightlypowdered,insideandout,withfinedustandgritfromthehard—pavedstreets,andtheywereunawareofthatalso。Theydidnotevennoticethattheysawthesmoke,thoughthethickenedairwaslikeashroudingmist。AndwhenBibbspassedthenew"SheridanApartments,"nowalmostcompleted,heobservedthatthemarbleofthevestibulewasalreadystreakywithsoot,likehisgloves,whichwerenew。
  Thatrecalledtohimthefaintodorofgasoleneinthecoupeonthewayfromhisbrother'sfuneral,andthisincitedatrainofthoughtwhichcontinuedtillhereachedthevicinityofhishome。HisroutewasbyastreetparalleltothatonwhichtheNewHousefronted,andinhispreoccupationhewalkedablockfartherthanheintended,sothat,havingcrossedtohisownstreet,heapproachedtheNewHousefromthenorth,andashecametothecornerofMr。
  Vertrees'slotMr。Vertrees'sdaughteremergedfromthefrontdoorandwalkedthoughtfullydownthepathtotheoldpicketgate。Shewasunconsciousoftheapproachofthepedestrianfromthenorth,anddidnotseehimuntilshehadopenedthegateandhewasalmostbesideher。Thenshelookedup,andasshesawhimshestartedvisibly。AndifthisthinghadhappenedtoRobertLamhorn,hewouldhavehadathoughtfarbeyondthehorizonoffaint—heartedBibbs'sthoughts。Lamhorn,indeed,wouldhavespokenhisthought。Hewouldhavesaid:
  "Youjumpedbecauseyouwerethinkingofme!"
  Marywasthepictureofaladyflustered。Shestoodwithonehandclosingthegatebehindher,andshehadturnedtogointhedirectionBibbswaswalking。Thereappearedtobenothingforitbutthattheyshouldwalktogether,atleastasfarastheNewHouse。ButBibbshadpausedinhisslowstride,andthereelapsedaninstantbeforeeitherspokeormoved——itwasnolongerthanthat,andyetitsufficedforeachtoseemtosay,bylookandattitude,"Why,it'sYOU!"
  Thentheybothspokeatonce,eachhurriedlypronouncingtheother'snameasifabouttodeliveramessageofimportance。Thenbothcametoastopsimultaneously,butBibbsmadeaheroiceffort,andastheybegantowalkontogetherhecontrivedtofindhisvoice。
  "I——I——hateafrozenfishmyself,"hesaid。"Ithinkthreemileswastoolongforyoutoputupwithone。"
  "Goodgracious!"shecried,turningtohimaglowingfacefromwhichrestraintandembarrassmenthadsuddenlyfled。"Mr。Sheridan,you'relovelytoputitthatway。Butit'salwaysthegirl'splacetosayit'sturningcooler!Ioughttohavebeentheonetoshowthatwedidn'tknoweachotherwellenoughnottosaySOMETHING!Itwasanimpositionformetohavemadeyoubringmehome,andafterIwentintothehouseIdecidedIshouldhavewalked。Besides,itwasn'tthreemilestothecar—line。Ineverthoughtofit!"
  "No,"saidBibbs,earnestly。"Ididn't,either。ImighthavesaidsomethingifI'dthoughtofanything。I'mtalkingnow,though;Imustrememberthat,andnotworryaboutitlater。IthinkI'mtalking,thoughitdoesn'tsoundintelligenteventome。ImadeupmymindthatifIevermetyouagainI'dturnonmyvoiceandkeepitgoing,nomaterwhatitsaid。I——"
  Sheinterruptedhimwithlaughter,andMaryVertrees'slaughwasonewhichBibbs'sfatherhaddeclared,afterthehouse—warming,"acripplewouldcrawlfivemilestohear。"AndatthemerryliltingofitBibbs'sfather'ssontookhearttoforgetsomeofhistrepidation。"I'llbeanykindofidiot,"
  hesaid,"ifyou'lllaughatmesomemore。Itwon'tbedifficultforme。"
  Shedid;andBibbs'scheeksshowedalittleactualcolor,whichMaryperceived。Itrecalledtoher,bycontrast,hercarelessandirritateddescriptionofhimtohermotherjustaftershehadseenhimforthefirsttime。"Rathertragicandaltogetherimpossible。"Itseemedtohernowthatshemusthavebeenblind。
  TheyhadpassedtheNewHousewithouteitherofthemshowing——orpossessing——anyconsciousnessthatithadbeenthedestinationofoneofthem。
  "I'llkeepontalking,"Bibbscontinued,cheerfully,"andyoukeeponlaughing。I'mamountingtosomethingintheworldthisafternoon。I'mmakinganoise,andthatmakesyoumakemusic。Don'tbebotheredbymybleatingoutsuchthingsasthat。I'mreallyfrightened,andthatmakesmebleatanything。I'mfrightenedabouttwothings:I'mafraidofwhatI'llthinkofmyselflaterifIdon'tkeeptalking——talkingnow,Imean——andI'mafraidofwhatI'llthinkofmyselfifIdo。Andbesidesthesetwothings,I'mfrightened,anyhow。Idon'tremembertalkingasmuchasthismorethanonceortwiceinmylife。Isupposeitwasalwaysinmetodoit,though,thefirsttimeImetanyonewhodidn'tknowmewellenoughnottolisten。"
  "Butyou'renotreallytalkingtome,"saidMary。"You'rejustthinkingaloud。"
  "No,"hereturned,gravely。"I'mnotthinkingatall;I'monlymakingvocalsoundsbecauseIbelieveit'smoremannerly。Iseemtobethesubjectofwhatlittlemeaningtheypossess,andI'dliketochangeit,butIdon'tknowhow。Ihaven'tanyexperienceintalking,andIdon'tknowhowtomanageit。"
  "Youneedn'tchangethesubjectonmyaccount,Mr。Sheridan,"shesaid。"Notevenifyoureallytalkedaboutyourself。"Sheturnedherfacetowardhimasshespoke,andBibbscaughthisbreath;hewaspatheticallyamazedbythelookshegavehim。Itwasaglowinglook,warmlyfriendlyandunderstanding,and,whatalmostshockedhim,itwasaneagerlyinterestedlook。Bibbswasnotaccustomedtoanythinglikethat。
  "I——you——I——I'm——"hestammered,andthefaintcolorinhischeeksgrewalmostvivid。
  Shewasstilllookingathim,andshesawthestrangeradiancethatcameintohisface。Therewassomethingabouthim,too,thatexplainedhow"queer"
  manypeoplemightthinkhim;buthedidnotseem"queer"toMaryVertrees;heseemedthemostquaintlynaturalpersonshehadevermet。
  Hewaited,andbecamecoherent。"YOUsaysomethingnow,"hesaid。"Idon'tevenbelonginthechorus,andhereIam,tryingtosingthefunnyman'ssolo!You——"
  "No,"sheinterrupted。"I'dratherplayyouraccompaniment。"
  "I'llstopandlistentoit,then。"
  "Perhaps——"shebegan,butafterpausingthoughtfullyshemadeagesturewithhermuff,indicatingalargebrickchurchwhichtheywereapproaching。"Doyouseethatchurch,Mr。Sheridan?"
  "IsupposeIcould,"heansweredinsimpletruthfulness,lookingather。
  "ButIdon'twantto。Once,whenIwasill,thenursetoldmeI'dbettersayanythingthatwasonmymind,andIgotthehabit。TheotherreasonIdon'twanttoseethechurchisthatIhaveafeelingit'swhereyou'regoing,andwhereI'llbesentback。"
  Sheshookherheadincheerynegation。"Notunlessyouwanttobe。Wouldyouliketocomewithme?"
  "Why——why——yes,"hesaid。"Anywhere!"Andagainitwasapparentthathespokeinsimpletruthfulness。
  "Thencome——ifyoucarefororganmusic。Theorganistisanoldfriendofmine,andsometimesheplaysforme。He'sadearoldman。HehadadegreefromBonn,andwasaprofessorafterward,buthegaveupeverythingformusic。That'she,waitinginthedoorway。HelookslikeBeethoven,doesn'the?Ithinkheknowsthat,perhaps,andenjoysitalittle。Ihopeso。"
  "Yes,"saidBibbs,astheyreachedthechurchsteps。"IthinkBeethovenwouldlikeit,too。Itmustbepleasanttolooklikeotherpeople。"
  "Ihaven'tkeptyou?"Marysaidtotheorganist。
  "No,no,"heanswered,heartily。"Iwouldnotmindsoonlyyoushouldshooercome!"
  "ThisisMr。Sheridan,Dr。Kraft。Hehascometolistenwithme。"
  Theorganistlookedbluntlysurprised。"IssthatSO?"heexclaimed。"Well,Iamgladifyouwishhim,andifhecanstantmyliddleplayink。Heissmusicianhimself,then,ofcourse。"
  "No,"saidBibbs,asthethreeenteredthechurchtogether。"I——Iplayedthe——Itriedtoplay——"Fortunatelyhecheckedhimself;hehadbeenabouttooffertheinformationthathehadfailedtomasterthejews'—harpinhisboyhood。"No,I'mnotamusician,"hecontentedhimselfwithsaying。
  "What?"Dr。Kraft'ssurpriseincreased。"Youngman,youarefortunate!I
  playforMissVertrees;shecomesalwaysalone。Youarethefirst。YouarethefirstoneEVER!"
  Theyhadreachedtheheadofthecentralaisle,andastheorganistfinishedspeakingBibbsstoppedshort,turningtolookatMaryVertreesinadazedwaythatwasnotofherpreceiving;for,thoughshestoppedashedid,hergazefollowedtheorganist,whowaswalkingawayfromthemtowardthefrontofthechurch,shakinghiswhiteBeethovianmaneroguishly。
  "It'sfalsepretensesonmypart,"Bibbssaid。"Youmeantobekindtothesick,butI'mnotaninvalidanymore。I'msowellI'mgoingbacktoworkinafewdays。I'dbetterleavebeforehebeginstoplay,hadn'tI?"
  "No,"saidMary,beginningtowalkforward。"Notunlessyoudon'tlikegreatmusic。"
  Hefollowedhertoaseatabouthalf—wayuptheaislewhileDr。Kraftascendedtotheorgan。Itwasanenormousone,theprocessionofpipesrangingfromlong,starvelingwhistlestothunderingfatguns;theycoveredalltherearwallofthechurch,andtheorganist'sfigure,reachingitshighperch,lookedlikethatofsomeLilliputianmagicianludicrouslydaringtheattempttoconrolamonstercertaintooverwhelmhim。
  "ThisafternoonsomeHandel!"heturnedtoshout。
  Marynodded。"Willyoulikethat?"sheaskedBibbs。
  "Idon'tknow。Ineverheardanyexcept'Largo。'Idon'tknowanythingaboutmusic。Idon'tevenknowhowtopretendIdo。IfIknewenoughtopretend,Iwould。"
  "No,"saidMary,lookingathimandsmilingfaintly,"youwouldn't。"
  Sheturnedawayasagreatsoundbegantoswimandtrembleintheair;thehughemptyspaceofthechurchfilledwithit,andthetwopeoplelisteningfilledwithit;theuniverseseemedtofillandthrillwithit。Thetwosatintenselystill,thegreatsoundallroundaboutthem,whilethechurchgrewdusky,andonlytheorganist'slampmadeatinystaroflight。Hiswhiteheadmovedfromsidetosidebeneathitrhythmically,orlungedandrecoveredwiththefiercenessofaduelistthrusting,buthewasmagnificentlythemasterofhisgiant,anditsangtohismagicashebadeit。
  Bibbswassweptawayuponthatmightysinging。Suchathingwaswhollyunknowntohim;therehadbeennomusicinhismeagerlife。Unlikethetale,itwasthePrincessBedrulbudourwhohadbroughthimtotheenchantedcave,andthat——forBibbs——waswhatmadeitsmagicdazing。Itseemedtohimalong,longtimesincehehadbeenwalkinghomedrearilyfromDr。Gurney'soffice;itseemedtohimthathehadsetoutuponahappyjourneysincethen,andthathehadreachedanotherplanet,whereMaryVertreesandhesatalonetogetherlisteningtoavastchoiringofinvisiblesoldiersandholyangels。
  Therewerearmiesofvoicesaboutthemsingingpraiseandthanksgiving;andyettheywerealone。Itwasincrediblethatthewallsofthechurchwerenottheboundariesoftheuniverse,toremainsoforever;incrediblethattherewasasmokystreetjustyonder,wherehousemaidswerebringingineveningpapersfromfrontstepsandwherechildrenweretakingtheirlastspinsonroller—skatesbeforebeinghaledindoorsfordinner。
  Hehadacurioussenseofcommunicationwithhisnewfriend。Heknewitcouldnotbeso,andyethefeltasifallthetimehespoketoher,saying:
  "Youhearthisstrain?Youhearthatstrain?Youknowthedreamthatthesesoundsbringtome?"Anditseemedtohimasthoughsheansweredcontinually:"Ihear!Ihearthatstrain,andIhearthenewonethatyouarehearingnow。Iknowthedreamthatthesesoundsbringtoyou。Yes,yes,Ihearitall!Wehear——together!"
  Andthoughthechurchgrewsodimthatallwasmysteriousshadowexceptthevagueplanesofthewindowsandtheorganist'slight,withthewhiteheadmovingbeneathit,Bibbshadnoconsciousnessthatthegirlsittingbesidehimhadgrownshadowy;heseemedtoseeherasplainlyaseverinthedarkness,thoughhedidnotlookather。Andallthemightychantingoftheorgan'smultitudinousvoicesthatafternoonseemedtoBibbstobechorusingofherandinterpretingher,singingherthoughtsandsingingforhimtheworldofhumblegratitudethatwasinhisheartbecauseshewassokindtohim。ItallmeantMary。
  Butwhensheaskedhimwhatitmeant,ontheirhomewardway,hewassilent。
  Theyhadcomeafewpacesfromthechurchwithoutspeaking,walkingslowly。
  "I'lltellyouwhatitmeanttome,"shesaid,ashedidnotimmediatelyreply。"AlmostanymusicofHandel'salwaysmeansonethingaboveallotherstome:courage!That'sit。Itmakescowardiceofwhiningseemsoinfinitesimal——itmakesMOSTthingsinourhustlinglittlelivesseeminfinitesimal。"
  "Yes,"hesaid。"Itseemsodd,doesn'tit,thatpeopledown—townarehurryingtotrainsandhangingtostrapsintrolley—cars,welteringeverywaytogethomeandfeedandsleepsotheycangetdown—townto—morrow。Andyetthereisn'tanythingdownthereworthgettingto。They'relikeservantsdrudgingtokeepthehousegoing,andbelievingthedrudgeryitselfisthegreatthing。Theymakesomuchnoiseandfussanddirttheyforgetthatthehousewasmeanttolivein。Thehouseworkhastobedone,butthepeoplewhodoithavebeensooverpaidthatthey'reconfusedandworshipthehousework。
  They'reoverpaid,andyet,poorthings!theyhaven'tanythingthatachickencan'thave。Ofcourse,whentheworldgetstopayingitswagessensiblythatwillbedifferent。"
  "Doyoumean'communism'?"sheasked,andshemadetheirslowpacealittleslower——theyhadonlythreeblockstogo。
  "Whateverthewordis,Ionlymeanthatthingsdon'tlookverysensiblenow——especiallytoamanthatwantstokeepoutof'emandcan't!
  'Communism'?Well,atleastany'decentsport'wouldsayit'sfairforallthestrongrunnerstostartfromthesamemarkandgivetheweakonesafairdistanceahead,sothatallcanrunsomethinglikeevenonthestretch。Andwouldn'titbepleasant,really,iftheycouldallcrossthewinning—linetogether?Whoreallyenjoysbeatinganybody——ifheseesthebeatenman'sface?Theonlywaywecanenjoygettingaheadofotherpeoplenowadaysisbyforgettingwhattheotherpeoplefeel。Andthat,"headded,"isnothingofwhatthemusicmeanttome。Yousee,ifIkeeptalkingaboutwhatitdidn'tmeanIcankeepfromtellingyouwhatitdidmean。"
  "Didn'titmeancouragetoyou,too——alittle?"sheasked。"Triumphandpraisewereinit,andsomehowthosethingsmeancouragetome。"
  "Yes,theywereallthere,"Bibbssaid。"Idon'tknowthenameofwhatheplayed,butIshouldn'tthinkitwouldmattermuch。Themanthatmakesthemusicmustleaveittoyouwhatitcanmeantoyou,andthenameheputstoitcan'tmakemuchdifference——excepttohimselfandpeopleverymuchlikehim,Isuppose。"
  "Isupposethat'strue,thoughI'dneverthoughtofitlikethat。"
  "Iimagemusicmustmakefeelingsandpaintpicturesinthemindsofthepeoplewhohearit,"Bibbswenton,musingly,"accordingtotheirownnaturesasmuchasaccordingtothemusicitself。Themusicianmightcomposesomethingandplayit,wantingyoutothinkoftheHolyGrail,andsomepeoplewhohearditwouldthinkofaprayer—meeting,andsomewouldthinkofhowgoodtheywerethemselves,andaboymightthinkofhimselfattheheadofasolemnprocession,carryingabannerandridingawhitehorse。Andthen,ifthereweresomejubilantpassagesinthemusic,he'dthinkofacircus。"
  Theyhadreachedhergate,andshesetherhanduponit,butdidnotopenit。
  Bibbsfeltthatthiswasalmostthekindestofherkindnesses——nottobepromptinleavinghim。
  "Afterall,"shesaid,"youdidn'ttellmewhetheryoulikedit。"
  "No。Ididn'tneedto。"
  "No,that'strue,andIdidn'tneedtoask。Iknew。Butyousaidyouweretryingtokeepfromtellingmewhatitdidmean。"
  "Ican'tkeepfromtellingitanylonger,"hesaid。"Themusicmeanttome——itmeantthekindnessof——ofyou。"
  "Kindness?How?"
  "YouthoughtIwasasortoflonelytramp——andsick——"
  "No,"shesaid,decidedly。"Ithoughtperhapsyou'dliketohearDr。Kraftplay。Andyoudid。"
  "It'scurious;sometimesitseemedtomethatitwasyouwhowereplaying。"
  Marylaughed。"I?Istrum!Piano。AlittleChopin——Grieg——Chaminade。Youwouldn'tlisten!"
  Bibbsdrewadeepbreath。"I'mfrightenedagain,"hesaid,inanunsteadyvoice。"I'mafraidyou'llthinkI'mpushing,but——"Hepaused,andthewordssanktoamurmur。
  "Oh,ifyouwantMEtoplayforyou!"shesaid。"Yes,gladly。Itwillbemerelyabsurdafterwhatyouheardthisafternoon。Iplaylikeahundredthousandothergirls,andIlikeit。I'mgladwhenanyone'swillingtolisten,andifyou——"Shestopped,checkedbyasuddenrecollection,andlaughedruefully。"Butmypianowon'tbehereafterto—night。I——I'msendingitawayto—morrow。I'mafraidthatifyou'dlikemetoplaytoyouyou'dhavetocomethisevening。"
  "You'llletme?"hecried。
  "Certainly,ifyoucareto。"
  "IfIcouldplay——"hesaid,wistfully,"ifIcouldplaylikethatoldmaninthechurchIcouldthankyou。"
  "Ah,butyouhaven'theardmeplay。IKNOWyoulikedthisafternoon,but——"
  "Yes,"saidBibbs。"ItwasthegreatesthappinessI'veeverknown。"
  Itwastoodarktoseehisface,buthisvoiceheldsuchplainhonesty,andhespokewithsuchcompleteunconsciousnessofsayinganythingespeciallysignificant,thatsheknewitwasthetruth。Foramomentshewasnonplussed,thensheopenedthegateandwentin。"You'llcomeafterdinner,then?"
  "Yes,"hesaid,notmoving。"WouldyoumindifIstoodhereuntiltimetocomein?"
  Shehadreachedthesteps,andatthatsheturned,offeringhimtheresponseoflaughterandagaygestureofhermufftowardthelightedwindowsoftheNewHouse,asthoughbiddinghimtorunhometohisdinner。
  Thatnight,Bibbssatwritinginhisnote—book。
  Musiccancomeintoablanklife,andfillit。Everythingthatisbeautifulismusic,ifyoucanlisten。
  Thereisnogracefulnesslikethatofagracefulwomanatagrandpiano。
  Thereisaswimminglovelinessoflinethatseemstomergewiththerunningofthesound,andyouseem,asyouwatchher,toseewhatyouarehearingandtohearwhatyouareseeing。
  Therearewomenwhomakeyouthinkofpinewoodscomingdowntoasparklingsea。Theairaboutsuchawomanisbracing,andwhensheisnearyou,youfeelstrongandambitious;youforgetthattheworlddoesn'tlikeyou。Youthinkthatperhapsyouareagreatfellow,afterall。ThenyoucomeawayandfeellikeaboywhohasfalleninlovewithhisSunday—schoolteacher。
  You'llbewhippedforit——andoughttobe。
  TherearewomenwhomakeyouthinkofDiana,crownedwiththemoon。Buttheydonothavethe"Greekprofile。"IdonotbelieveHelenofTroyhada"Greekprofile";theywouldnothavefoughtaboutherifhernosehadbeenquitethatlong。TheGreeknoseisnottheadorablenose。Theadorablenoseisaboutaneighthofaninchshorter。
  MuchofthemusicofWagner,itappears,isnotsuitabletothepiano。
  Wagnerwasacomposerwhocouldinterpretintomusicsuchthingsastheprimitiveimpulsesofhumanity——hecouldhavemadeamachine—shopintomusic。
  Butnotifhehadtoworkinit。Wagnerwasalwaysdealinginimmensities——amachine—shopwouldhaveputamajesticlumpinsograndagizzardasthat。
  Thereisamysteryaboutpianos,itseems。Sometimestheyhavetobe"sentaway。"Thatishowsomepeoplespeakofthepenitentiary。"Sentaway"isaeuphuismfor"senttoprison。"Butpianosarenotsenttoprison,andtheyarenotsenttothetuner——thetunerissenttothem。Whyarepianos"sentaway"——andwhere?
  Sometimesagloriousdayshinesintothemostordinaryanduselesslife。
  Happinessandbeautycomecarolingoutoftheairintothegloomyhouseofthatlifeasifsomestrayangeljusthappenedtoperchontheroof—tree,restingandsinging。Andthenightaftersuchadayislustrousandsplendidwiththememoryofit。Musicandbeautyandkindness——thosearethethreegreatestthingsGodcangiveus。Tobringthemallinonedaytoonewhoexpectednothing——ah!theheartthatreceivedthemshouldbeashumbleasitisthankful。Butitishardtobehumblewhenoneissorichwithnewmemories。Itisimpossibletobehumbleafteradayofglory。
  Yes——theadorablenoseismorethananeighthofaninchshorterthantheGreeknose。Itisafullquarterofaninchshorter。
  Therearewomenwhowillbekindertoasicktrampthantoaconqueringhero。
  Butthesicktramphadbetterrememberthat'swhatheis。Takecare,takecare!Humble'stheword!
  That"mysteryaboutpianos"whichtroubledBibbshadbeenamysterytoMr。
  Vertrees,anditwasbeingexplainedtohimataboutthetimeBibbsscribbledthereferencetoitinhisnotes。Maryhadgoneup—stairsuponBibbs'sdepartureatteno'clock,andMr。andMrs。Vertreessatuntilaftermidnightinthelibrary,talking。Andinallthattimetheyfoundnotonecheerfultopic,butbecamemoredepressedwitheverythingandwitheveryphaseofeverythingthattheydiscussed——noextraordinarystateofaffairsinafamilywhichhasalways"heldupitshead,"onlytoarriveintheendatapointwhereallitcandoistolookonhelplesslyattheprocessesofitsownfinancialdissolution。Forthatwasthepointwhichthisdespairingcouplehadreached——theycoulddonothingexceptlookonandtalkaboutit。Theywereonlyvaporing,andtheyknewit。
  "Sheneedn'ttohavedonethataboutherpiano,"vaporedMr。Vertrees。"Wecouldhavemanagedsomehowwithoutit。Atleastsheoughttohaveconsultedme,andifsheinsistedIcouldhavearrangedthedetailswiththe——thedealer。"
  "Shethoughtthatitmightbe——annoyingforyou,"Mrs。Vertreesexplained。
  "Really,sheplannedforyounottoknowaboutituntiltheyhadremoved——untilafterto—morrow,thatis,butIdecidedto——tomentionit。
  Yousee,shedidn'teventellmeaboutituntilthismorning。Shehasanotherides,too,I'mafraid。It's——it's——"
  "Well?"heurged,asshefounditdifficulttogoon。
  "Herotherideais——thatis,itwas——Ithinkitcanbeavoided,ofcourse——itwasaboutherfurs。"
  "No!"heexclaimed,quickly。"Iwon'thaveit!Youmustseetothat。I'drathernottalktoheraboutit,butyoumustn'tlether。"
  "I'lltrynot,"hiswifepromised。"Ofcourse,they'reveryhandsome。"
  "Allthemorereasonforhertokeepthem!"hereturned,irritably。"We'renotTHATfargone,Ithink!"
  "Perhapsnotyet,"Mrs。Vertreessaid。"Sheseemstobetroubledaboutthe——thecoalmatterand——aboutTilly。Ofcoursethepianowilltakecareofsomethingslikethoseforawhileand——"
  "Idon'tlikeit。Igaveherthepianotoplayon,notto——"
  "Youmustn'tbedistressedaboutitinONEway,"shesaid,comfortingly。