"He'sgettin'bettereveryday,"Jimsaid。"Dr。Gurneysaysso。There'snothingmuchthematterwithhim,really——it'snine—tenthsimaginary。
'Nerves'!Peoplethatarewillingtobebusydon'thavenervousdiseases,becausetheydon'thavetimetoimagine'em。"
"Youmeanhistroubleisreallymental?"
"Oh,he'snotalunatic,"saidJim。"He'sjustqueer。Sometimeshe'llsaysomethingrightbright,buthalfthetimewhathesaysis'wayoffthesubject,orelsethereisn'tanysensetoitatall。Forinstance,theotherdayIheardhimtalkin'tooneofthedarkiesinthehall。Thedarkyaskedhimwhattimehewantedthecarforhisdrive,andanybodyelseintheworldwouldhavejustsaidwhattimetheyDIDwantit,andthatwouldhavebeenalltherewastoit;buthere'swhatBibbssays,andIheardhimwithmyownears。
'WhattimedoIwantthecar?'hesays。'Well,now,thatdepends——thatdepends,'hesays。Hetalksslowlikethat,youknow。'I'lltellyouwhattimeIwantthecar,George,'hesays,'ifyou'lltellMEwhatyouthinkofthisstatue!'That'sexactlyhiswords!AskedthedarkywhathethoughtofthatArabEdithandmotherboughtforthehall!"
Marypondereduponthis。"Hemighthavebeeninfun,perhaps,"shesuggested。
"Askin'adarkywhathethoughtofapieceofstatuary——ofaworkofart!
Whereonearthwouldbethefunofthat?No,you'rejustkind—hearted——andthat'sthewayyouOUGHTtobe,ofcourse——"
"Thankyou,Mr。Sheridan!"shelaughed。
"Seehere!"hecried。"Isn'tthereanywayforustogetoverthisMisterandMissthing?Amonth'sgotthirty—onedaysinit;I'vemanagedtobewithyouapartofprettynearallthethirty—one,andIthinkyouknowhowIfeelbythistime——"
Shelookedpanic—strickenimmediately。"Oh,no,"sheprotested,quickly。"No,Idon't,and——"
"Yes,youdo,"hesaid,andhisvoiceshookalittle。"Youcouldn'thelpknowing。"
"ButIdo!"shedenied,hurriedly。"Idohelpknowing。Imean——Oh,wait!"
"Whatfor?YoudoknowhowIfeel,andyou——well,you'vecertainlyWANTEDmetofeelthatway——orelsepretended——"
"Now,now!"shelamented。"You'respoilingsuchacheerfulafternoon!"
"'Spoilin'it!'"Hesloweddownthecarandturnedhisfacetohersquarely。
"Seehere,MissVertrees,haven'tyou——"
"Stop!Stopthecaraminute。"Andwhenhehadcompliedshefacedhimassquarelyasheevidentlydesiredhertofacehim。"Listen。Idon'twantyoutogoon,to—day。"
"Whynot?"heasked,sharply。
"Idon'tknow。"
"Youmeanit'sjustawhim?"
"Idon'tknow,"sherepeated。Hervoicewaslowandtroubledandhonest,andshekepthercleareyesuponhis。
"Willyoutellmesomething?"
"Almostanything。"
"Haveyouevertoldanymanyoulovedhim?"
Andatthat,thoughshelaughed,shelookedalittlecontemptuous。"No,"shesaid。"AndIdon'tthinkIevershalltellanymanthat——oreverknowwhatitmeans。I'minearnest,Mr。Sheridan。"
"Thenyou——you'vejustbeenflirtingwithme!"PoorJimlookedbothfuriousandcrestfallen。
"Notonbit!"shecried。"Notoneword!Notonesyllable!I'vemeanteverysinglething!"
"Idon't——"
"Ofcourseyoudon't!"shesaid。"Now,Mr。Sheridan,Iwantyoutostartthecar。Now!Thankyou。Slowly,tillIfinishwhatIhavetosay。Ihavenotflirtedwithyou。Ihavedeliberatelycourtedyou。Onethingmore,andthenIwantyoutotakemestraighthome,talkingabouttheweatheralltheway。I
saidthatIdonotbelieveIshallever'care'foranyman,andthatistrue。
Idoubttheexistenceofthekindof'caring'wehearaboutinpoemsandplaysandnovels。IthinkitmustbejustakindofemotionalTALK——mostofit。
Atallevents,Idon'tfeelit。Now,wecangofaster,please。"
"Justwheredoesthatletmeout?"hedemanded。"Howdoesthatexcuseyoufor——"
"Itisn'tanexcuse,"shesaid,gently,andgavehimonefinallook,whollydesolate。"Ihaven'tsaidIshouldnevermarry。"
"What?"Jimgasped。
Sheinclinedherheadinabrokensortofacquiescence,veryhumble,unfathomablysorrowful。
"Ipromisenothing,"shesaid,faintly。
"Youneedn't!"shoutedJim,radiantandexultant。"Youneedn't!ByGeorge!
Iknowyou'resquare;that'senoughforme!Youwaitandpromisewheneveryou'reready!"
"Don'tforgetwhatIasked,"shebeggedhim。
"Talkabouttheweather?Iwill!Godblesstheoldweather!"criedthehappyJim。
ThroughtheopencountryBibbswasborneflyingbetweenbrownfieldsandsun—fleckedgrovesofgraytrees,tobreathetherushing,cleanairbeneathaglorioussky——thatskysodespisedinthecity,andsomaltreatedthere,thatfromearlyOctobertomid—Mayitwasimpossibleformentorememberthatblueistherightfulcoloroverhead。
UponeachofBibbs'scheekstherewasahintofsomethingalmostresemblingapinkishness;notactualcolor,butundeniablyitsphantom。Howlargelythisapparitionmayhavebeentheworkofthewinduponhisfaceitisdifficulttocalculate,forbeyondadoubtitwaspartlytheresultofalady'sbowingtohimuponnomoreformalintroductionthanthecircumstanceofhishavingcaughtherlookingintohiswindowamonthbefore。Shehadboweddefinitely;
shehadbowedcharmingly。AnditseemedtoBibbsthatshemusthavemeanttoconveyherforgiveness。
Therehadbeensomethinginherrecognitionofhimunfamiliartohisexperience,andherodethewarmerforit。Nordidhelacktheimpressionthathewouldlongrememberherashehadjustseenher:herveiltumultuouslyblowingback,herfaceglowinginthewind——andthatlookofgayfriendlinesstossedtohimlikeafreshroseincarnival。
Byandby,uponarisingground,thedriverhaltedthecar,thenbackedandtacked,andsentitforwardagainwithitsnosetothesouthandthesmoke。
FarbeforehimBibbssawthegreatsmudgeuponthehorizon,thatnestofcloudinwhichthecitystroveandpantedlikeanengineshroudedinitsownsteam。ButtoBibbs,whohadnowtogototheveryheartofit,foracommandedinterviewwithhisfather,thedistantcloudwaslikeanimplacablegeniusissuingthunderouslyinsmokefromhisenchantedbottle,andirresistiblydrawingBibbsnearerandnearer。
Theypassedfromthefarmlands,andcame,intheamberlightofNovemberlateafternoon,tothefarthermostoutskirtsofthecity;andheretheskyshimmereduponthevergeofchangefrombluetogray;thesmokedidnotvisiblypermeatetheair,butitwasthere,nevertheless——impalpable,thin,nomorethanthedustofsmoke。Andthen,asthecardroveon,thechimneysandstacksoffactoriescameswimmingupintoviewlikemilesofsteamersadvancingabreast,everyfunnelwithitsvastplume,savageandblack,sweepingtothehorizon,drippingwealthanddirtandsuffocationoverleagueonleaguealreadyrichandvilewithgrime。
Theskyhadbecomeonlyadingythickeningofthesoiledair;andaroarandclangorofmetalsbeatdeafeninglyonBibbs'sears。Andnowthecarpassedtwogreatblocksoflongbrickbuildings,hideousinallwayspossibletomakethemhideous;doorwaysshowingdarkonemomentandluridthenextwiththeleapofsomevirulentinteriorflame,revealingblackenedgiants,halfnaked,inpassionateaction,strugglingwithformlessthingsinthehotillumination。Andbigastheseshopswere,theyweregrowingbigger,spreadingoverathirdblock,wheretwonewstructuresweremushroomingtocompletioninsomehastycementprocessofastabilitynotover—reassuring。
Bibbspulledtherugcloserabouthim,andnoteventhephantomofcolorwasleftuponhischeeksashepassedthisplace,forheknewittoowell。
Acrossthefaceofoneofthebuildingstherewasanenormoussign:"SheridanAutomaticPumpCo。,Inc。"
Thencetheywentthroughstreetsofwoodenhouses,allgrimed,andaddingtheirowngrimefrommanyasootychimney;flimseywoodenhousesofathousandflimsywhimsiesinthefashioning,builtonnarrowlotsandnudgingoneanothercrossly,shuttingoutthestingysunlightfromoneanother;badneighborswhowoulddestroyoneanotherrootandbranchsomenightwhentherightwindblew。Theywereonlywaitingforthatwindandacigarette,andthentheywouldallbegonetogether——apinchofincenseburneduponthetripodofthegod。
Alongthesestreetstherewereskinnyshade—trees,andhereandthereaforestelmorwalnuthadbeenleft;buttheseweredying。Somepeoplesaiditwasthescale;somesaiditwasthesmoke;andsomeweresurethatasphaltand"improving"thestreetsdidit;butBignesswasintooBigahurrytobothermuchabouttrees。Hehadtelegraph—polesandtelephone—polesandelectric—light—polesandtrolley—pollsbythethousandtotaketheirplaces。
Soheletthetreesdieandputuphispoles。Theywerehideous,butnobodymindedthat;andsometimesthewiresfellandkilledpeople——butnotoftenenoughtomatteratall。
ThenceonwardthecarboreBibbsthroughtheolderpartsofthetownwherethefewsolidoldhousesnotalreadydemolishedwereintransition:some,withtheirfrontstornaway,werebeingmadeintosegmentsofapartment—buildings;othershadgoneuproariouslyintotrade,brazenlyputtingforth"show—windows"ontheirfirstfloors,seemingtomeanitforajoke;oneortwowithunalteredfacadespeepedhumorouslyoverthetopsoftemporaryofficebuildingsofonestoryerectedintheoldfrontyards。
Altogether,thetownherewaslikeaboarding—househashtheSundayafterThanksgiving;theoldingredientswerediscernible。
ThiswasthefringeofBigness'sownsanctuary,andnowBibbsreachedtheroaringholyofholiesitself。Thecarmuststopateverycrossingwhilethedark—garbedcrowds,envelopedinmaelstromsofdust,hurriedbeforeit。
Magnificentnewbuildings,alreadydingy,loomedhundredsoffeetabovehim;
newerones,moremagnificent,wererisingbesidethem,risinghigher;oldbuildingswerecomingdown;middle—agedbuildingswerecomingdown;thestreetswerelaidopentotheirentrailsandmenworkedundergroundbetweenpalisades,andoverheadinmetalcobwebslikespidersinthesky。
Trolley—carsandlonginterurbancars,builttosplitthewindliketorpedo—boats,clangedandshriekedtheirwayroundswarmingcorners;
motor—carsofeverykindandshapeknowntomanbabbledfrightfulwarningsandfranticdemands;hospitalambulancesclamoredwildlyforpassage;
steam—whistlessignaledtheswingingoftitanictentacleandclaw;rivetersrattledlikemachine—guns;thegroundshooktothethunderofgigantictrucks;andtheconglomeratesoundofitallwasthesoundofearthquakeplayingaccompanimentsforbattleandsuddendeath。Ononeofthenewsteelbuildingsnoworkwasbeingdonethatafternoon。Thebuildinghadkilledamaninthemorning——andthesteel—workersalwaysstopforthedaywhenthat"happens。"
Andinthehurryingcrowds,swirlingandsiftingthroughthebrobdingnagiancampofironandsteel,onesawthecamp—followersandthepaganwomen——therewouldbeworkto—dayanddancingto—night。ForthePuritan'sdryvoiceisbutthecracklingofaleafunderfootintherushandroarofthecomingofthenewEgypt。
Bibbswasontime。Heknewitmustbe"totheminute"orhisfatherwouldconsideritanoutrage;andthebigchronometerinSheridan'sofficemarkedfourpreciselywhenBibbswalkedin。Coincidentallywithhisentrancefivepeoplewhohadbeenatworkintheoffice,underSheridan'sdirection,walkedout。Theydeparteduponnovisibleoraudiblesuggestion,andwithapromptnessthatseemedominoustothenew—comer。Asthemassivedoorclickedsoftlybehindtheelderlystenographer,thelastoftheprocession,Bibbshadafeelingthattheyallunderstoodthathewasafailureasagreatman'sson,adisappointment,the"queerone"ofthefamily,andthathehadbeensummonedtojudgment——awell—foundedimpression,forthatwasexactlywhattheyunderstood。
"Sitdown,"saidSheridan。
Itisfrequentlyanadvantagefordeans,school—masters,andworriedfatherstoplacedelinquentsinthesitting—posture。Bibbssat。
Sheridan,standing,gazedenigmaticallyuponhissonforaperiodofsilence,thenwalkedslowlytoawindowandstoodlookingoutofit,hisbighands,looselyhookedtogetherbythethumbs,behindhisback。Theyweresoiled,aswereallotherhandsdown—town,exceptsuchasmightbestilldampfromabasin。
"Well,Bibbs,"hesaidatlast,notalteringhisattitude,"doyouknowwhatI'mgoin'todowithyou?"
Bibbs,leaningbackinhischair,fixedhiseyescontemplativelyupontheceiling。"IheardyoutellJim,"hebegan,inhisslowway。"Yousaidyou'dsendhimtothemachine—shopwithmeifhedidn'tproposetoMissVertrees。
SoIsupposethatmustbeyourplanforme。But——"
"Butwhat?"saidSheridan,irritably,asthesonpaused。
"Isn'ttheresomebodyyou'dletMEproposeto?"
Thatbroughthisfathersharplyroundtofacehim。"Youbeatthedevil!
Bibbs,whatISthematterwithyou?Whycan'tyoubelikeanybodyelse?"
"Liver,maybe,"saidBibbs,gently。
"Boh!EvenoleDocGurneysaysthere'snothin'wrongwithyouorganically。
No。You'readreamer,Bibbs;that'swhat'sthematter,andthat'sALLthematter。Oh,nooneo'theseBIGdreamersthatputthroughthebigdeals。!
No,sir!You'rethekindo'dreamerthatjustsetsoutonthebackfenceandthinksabouthowmuchtroubletheremustbeintheworld!Thatain'tthekindthatbuildsthebridges,Bibbs;it'sthekindthatborrowsfifteencentsfromhiswife'suncle'sbrother—in—lawtogettencent'swortho'plugtobaccoandanickel'swortho'quinine!"
Heputthefinishingtouchonthisetchingwithasnort,andturnedagaintothewindow。
"Lookoutthere!"hebadehisson。"Lookouto'thatwindow!Lookatthelifeandevergydownthere!IshouldthinkANYyoungman'sbloodwouldtingletogetintoitandbepartofit。Lookatthebigthingsyoungmenaredoin'inthistown!"Heswungabout,comingtothemahoganydeskinthemiddleoftheroom。"LookatwhatIwasdoin'atyourage!Lookatwhatyourownbrothersaredoin'!LookatRoscoe!Yes,andlookatJim!ImadeJimpresidento'theSheridanRealtyCompanylastNew—Year's,withchargeofeveryincho'groundandeverybrickandeveryshingleandsticko'woodweown;andit'sanexampletoanyyoungman——oroleman,either——thewayhetookaholdofit。LastJulywefoundoutwewantedtwomorebigwarehousesatthePumpWorks——wanted'emquick。Contractorssaiditcouldn'tbedone;
saidnineortenmonthsatthesoonest;couldn'tseeitanyotherway。What'dJimdo?Tookthecontracthimself;foundafellowwithanewcementandconcreteprocess;keptmenonthejobnightandday,andstayedonitnightanddayhimself——and,byGeorge!webegintoUSEthemwarehousesnextweek!
Fourmonthsandahalf,andeveryinchfireproof!ItellyouJim'soneo'
thesefellersthatmakemiracleshappen!Now,Idon'tsayeveryyoungmancanbelikeJim,becausethere'smightyfewgothisability,buteveryyoungmancangoinanddohisshare。ThistownisGod'sowncountry,andthere'sopportunityforanybodywithapoundofenergyandanounceo'gumption。I
tellyoutheseyoungbusinessmenIwatchjustdomyheartgood!THEYdon'tsetaroundonthebackfence——no,sir!Theytakeenoughexercisetokeeptheirhealth;andtheygotoabaseballgameonceortwiceaweekinsummmer,maybe,andthey'reraisin'nicefamilies,withsonstotaketheirplacessometimeandcarryonthework——becausethework'sgottogoON!They'reputtin'theirlife—bloodintoit,Itellyou,andthat'swhywe'regettin'
biggereveryminute,andwhyTHEY'REgettin'bigger,andwhyit'sallgoin'
tokeepONgettin'bigger!"
Heslappedthedeskresoundinglywithhisopenpalm,andthen,observingthatBibbsremainedinthesameimpassiveattitude,withhiseyesstillfixedupontheceilinginacontemplationsomewhatplaintive,Sheridanwasimpelledtogroan。"Oh,Lord!"hesaid。"Thisisthewayyoualwayswere。Idon'tbelieveyouunderstoodadarnwordIbeensayin'!Youdon'tLOOKasifyoudid。ByGeorge!it'sdiscouraging!"
"Idon'tunderstandaboutgetting——aboutgettingbigger,"saidBibbs,bringinghisgazedowntolookathisfatherplacatively。"Idon'tseejustwhy——"
"WHAT?"Sheridanleanedforward,restinghishandsuponthedeskandstaringacrossitincredulouslyathisson。
"Idon'tunderstand——exactly——whatyouwantitallbiggerfor?"
"GreatGod!"shoutedSheridan,andstruckthedeskablowwithhisclenchedfist。"Asonofmineasksmethat!Yougooutandaskthepoorestday—laboreryoucanfind!Askhimthatquestion——"
"Ididonce,"Bibbsinterrupted;"whenIwasinthemachine—shop。I——"
"Wha'dhesay?"
"Hesaid,'Oh,hell!'"answeredBibbs,mildly。
"Yes,Ireckonhewould!"Sheridanswungawayfromthedesk。"Ireckonhecertainlywould!AndIgotplentysympathywithhimrightnow,myself!"
"It'sthesameanswer,then?"Bibbs'svoicewasserious,almosttremulous。
"Damnation!"Sheridanroared。"DidyoueverhearthewordProsperity,youninny?DidyoueverhearthewordAmbition?DidyoueverhearthewordPROGRESS?"
Heflunghimselfintoachairaftertheoutburst,hisbigchestsurging,histhroattumultuouswithgutteralincoherences。"Nowthen,"hesaid,huskily,whentheanguishhadsomewhatabated,"whatdoyouwanttodo?"
"Sir?"
"WhatdoyouWANTtodo,Isaid。"
Takenbysurprise,Bibbsstammered。"What——whatdo——I——what——"
"IfI'dletyoudoexactlywhatyouhadthewhimfor,whatwouldyoudo?"
Bibbslookedstartled;thentimidityoverwhelmedhim——aprofoundshyness。Hebenthisheadandfixedhisloweredeyesuponthetoeofhisshoe,whichhemovedtoandfroupontherug,likeaculpritcalledtothedeskinschool。
"Whatwouldyoudo?Loaf?"
"No,sir。"Bibbs'svoicewasalmostinaudible,andwhatlittlesounditmadewasunquestionablyaguiltysound。"IsupposeI'd——I'd——"
"Well?"
"IsupposeI'dtryto——towrite。"
"Writewhat?"
"Nothingimportant——justpoemsandessays,perhaps。"
"Thatall?"
"Yes,sir。"
"Isee,"saidhisfather,breathingquicklywiththerestrainthewasputtinguponhimself。"Thatis,youwanttowrite,butyoudon'twanttowriteanythingofanyaccount。"
"Youthink——"
Sheridangotupagain。"Itakemyhatofftothemanthatcanwriteagoodad,"hesaid,emphatically。"Thebestwritin'talentinthiscountryisrightspangintheadbusinessto—day。Youbuyamagazineforgoodwritin'——lookonthebackofit!LetmetellyouIpaymoneyforthatkindo'writin'。Maybeyouthinkit'seasy。Justtryit!I'vetriedit,andI
can'tdoit。Itellyouanad'sgottobewrittensoitmakespeopledothehardestthinginthisworldtoGET'emtodo:it'sgottomake'emgiveuptheirMONEY!Youtalkabout'poemsandessays。'Itellyouwhenitcomestotheactualskillo'puttin'wordstogethersoastomakethingsHAPPEN,R。T。
Bloss,righthereinthiscity,knowsmoreinaminutethanGeorgeWaldoEmersoneverknewinhiswholelife!"
"You——youmaybe——"Bibbssaid,indistinctly,thelastwordsmotheredinacough。
"OfCOURSEI'mright!Andifitain'tjustlikeyoutowanttotakeupwiththemostout—o'—datekindo'writin'thereis!'Poemsandessays'!MyLord,Bibbs,that'sWOMEN'Swork!Youcan'tpickupanewspaperwithouthavin'toseewhereMrs。Rumskididlereadapaperon'JaneEyre,'or'EastLynne,'attheGod—Knows—WhatClub。And'poetry'!Why,lookatEdith!Iexpectthatpoemo'herswouldsetaprettyhigh—watermarkforyou,youngman,andit'stheonlyoneshe'severmanagedtowriteinherwholeLIFE!WhenIwantedhertogoonandwritesomemoreshesaidittooktoomuchtime。Saidittookmonthsandmonths。AndEdith'sasmartgirl;she'sgotmoreenergyinherlittlefingerthanyouevergivemeachancetoseeinyourwholebody,Bibbs。Nowlookatthefacts:sayshecouldturnoutfourorfivepoemsayearandyoucouldturnoutmaybetwo。Thatmedalshegotwasworthaboutfifteendollars,sothere'syourincome——thirtydollarsayear!That'safinesuccesstomakeofyourlife!I'mnotsayin'awordagainstpoetry。I
wouldn'ttaketenthousanddollarsrightnowforthatpoemofEdith's;andpoetry'sallrightenoughinitsplace——butyouleaveittothegirls。A
man'sgottodoaman'sworkinthisworld!"
Heseatedhimselfinachairathisson'ssideand,leaningover,tappedBibbsconfidentiallyontheknee。"Thiscity'sgotthegreatestfutureinAmerica,andifmysonsbehaverightbymeandbythemselvesthey'regoin'tohaveamightyfairshareofit——amightyfairshare。Ilovethistown。It'sGod'sownfootstool,andit'smademoneyformeeverydayrightalong,I
don'tknowhowmanyyears。IloveitlikeIdomyownbusiness,andI'dfightforitasquickasI'dfightformyownfamily。It'sabeautifultown。
Lookatourwholesaledistrict;lookatanydistrictyouwantto;lookattheparksystemwe'reputtin'through,andtheboulevardsandthepublicstatuary。Andshegrows。God!howshegrows!"Hehadbecomeintenselygrave;hespokewithsolemnity。"Now,Bibbs,Ican'ttakeanyofit——noranygoldorsilvernorbuildingsnorbonds——awaywithmeinmyshroudwhenI
havetogo。ButIwanttoleavemyshareinittomyboys。I'veworkedforit;I'vebeenabuilderandamaker;andtwobladesofgrasshavegrownwhereonegrewbefore,wheneverIlaidmyhandonthegroundandwilled'emtogrow。I'vebuiltbig,andIwantthebuildin'togoon。AndwhenmylasthourcomesIwanttoknowthatmyboysarereadytotakecharge;thatthey'refittotakechargeandgoONwithit。Bibbs,whenthathourcomesIwanttoknowthatmyboysarebigmen,readyandfittoholdofbigthings。Bibbs,whenI'mupaboveIwanttoknowthatthebigshareI'vemademine,herebelow,isgrowin'biggerandbiggerinthechargeofmyboys。"
Heleanedback,deeplymoved。"There!"hesaid,huskily。"I'veneverspokenmorewhatwasinmyheartinmylife。IdoitbecauseIwantyoutounderstand——andnotthinkmeameanfather。IneverhadtotalkthatwaytoJimandRoscoe。Theyunderstoodwithoutanytalk,Bibbs。"
"Isee,"saidBibbs。"AtleastIthinkIdo。But——"
"Waitaminute!"Sheridanraisedhishand。"Ifyouseetheleastbitintheworld,thenyouunderstandhowitfeelstometohavemysonsethereandtalkabout'poemsandessays'andsuch—likefooleries。Andyoumustunderstand,too,whatitmeanttostartoneo'myboysandhavehimcomebackonmethewayyoudid,andhavetobesenttoasanitariumbecausehecouldn'tstandwork。Now,let'sgetrightdowntoit,Bibbs。I'vehadawholeloto'talkwitholeDocGurneyaboutyou,onetimeanother,andI
reckonIunderstandyourcasejustaboutaswellashedoes,anyway!Nowhere,I'llbefrankwithyou。IstartedyouinharderthanwhatIdidtheotherboys,andthatwasforyourowngood,becauseIsawyouneededtobeshookupmore'ntheydid。Youwerealwayskindofmoodyandmopish——andyouneededworkthat'dkeepyouonthejump。Now,whydiditmakeyousickinsteadofbraceyouupandmakeamanofyouthewayitoughtofdone?I
pinnedoleGurneydowntoit。Isays,'Lookhere,ain'titreallybecausehejustplainhatedit?''Yes,'hesays,'that'sit。Ifhe'denjoyedit,itwouldn't'a'hurthim。Heloathesit,andthataffectshisnervoussystemThemorehetriesit,themorehehatesit;andthemorehehatesit,themoreinjuryitdoeshim。'Thatain'tquitehiswords,butit'swhathemeant。Andthat'saboutthewayitis。"
"Yes,"saidBibbs,"that'saboutthewayitis。"
"Well,then,Ireckonit'suptomenotonlytomakeyoudoit,buttomakeyoulikeit!"
Bibbsshivered。Andheturneduponhisfatheralookthatwasalmostghostly。"Ican't,"hesaid,inalowvoice。"Ican't。"
"Can'tgobacktotheshop?"
"No。Can'tlikeit。Ican't。"
Sheridanjumpedup,hispatiencegone。Tohisownview,hehadreasonedexhaustively,hadexplainedfullyandhadpleadedmorethanafathershould,onlytobemetintheendwiththeunreasoningandmysteriousstubbornnesswhichhadbeenBibbs'sbafflingcharacteristicfromchildhood。"ByGeorge,youwill!"hecried。"You'llgobackthereandyou'lllikeit!Gurneysaysitwon'thurtyouifyoulikeit,andhesaysit'llkillyouifyougobackandhateit;soitlooksasifitwasaboutuptoyounottohateit。Well,Gurney'safool!Hatin'workdoesn'tkillanybody;andthisisn'tgoin'tokillyou,whetheryouhateitornot。I'venevermadeamistakeinaseriousmatterinmylife,anditwasn'tamistakemysendin'youthereinthefirstplace。AndI'mgoin'toproveit——I'mgoin'tosendyoubackthereandvindicatemyjudgment。Gurneysaysit'sall'mentalattitude。'Well,you'regoin'tolearntherightone!Hesaysinacouplemoremonthsthisfoolthingthat'sbeenthematterwithyou'llbedisappearedcompletelyandyou'llbebackinasgoodorbetterconditionthanyouwerebeforeyoueverwentintotheshop。Andrighttheniswhenyoubeginover——rightinthatsameshop!Nobodycancallmeahardmanorameanfather。IdothebestI
canformychuldern,andItakefullresponsibilityforbringin'mysonsuptobemen。Now,sofar,I'vefailedwithyou。ButI'mnotgoin'tokeepON
failin'。InevertackledajobYETIdidn'tputthrough,andI'mnotgoin'
tobeginwithmyownson。I'mgoin'tomakeaMANofyou。ByGod!Iam!"
Bibbsroseandwentslowlytothedoor,whereheturned。"Yousayyougivemeacoupleofmonths?"hesaid。
Sheridanpushedabell—buttononhisdesk。"Gurneysaidtwomonthsmorewouldputyoubackwhereyouwere。Yougohomeandbegintogetyourselfintheright'mentalattitude'beforethosetwomonthsareup!Good—by!"
"Good—by,sir,"saidBibbs,meekly。
第5章