MissWilson,atalossforareply,regrettedthatshehadnot,beforelettinghimgainsofaronher,dismissedhimsummarilyinsteadoftoleratingadiscussionwhichshedidnotknowhowtoendwithdignity。Herelievedherbyaddingunexpectedly:
"Yoursystemwasthecauseofmyabsurdmarriage。Mywifeacquiredadegreeofcultureandreasonablenessfromhertrainingherewhichmadeherseemasuperiorbeingamongthechattererswhoformthefemaleseasoninginordinarysociety。Iadmiredherdarkeyes,andwasonlytoogladtoseizetheexcusehereducationofferedmeforbelievingheramatchformeinmindaswellasinbody。"
MissWilson,astonished,determinedtotellhimcoldlythathertimewasvaluable。Butcuriositytookpossessionofherintheactofutterance,andthewordsthatcamewere,"Whowasshe？"
"HenriettaJansenius。SheisHenriettaTrefusis,andIamSidneyTrefusis,atyourmercy。IseeIhavearousedyourcompassionatlast。"
"Nonsense！"saidMissWilsonhastily;forhersurprisewasindeedtingedbyafeelingthathewasthrownawayonHenrietta。
"Iranawayfromherandadoptedthisretreatandthisdisguiseinordertoavoidher。Theusualrebuketohumanforethoughtfollowed。Iranstraightintoherarms——orrathersheranintomine。Yourememberthescene,andwereprobablypuzzledbyit。"
"Youseemtothinkyourmarriagecontractaverylightmatter,Mr。Trefusis。MayIaskwhosefaultwastheseparation？Hers,ofcourse。"
"Ihavenothingtoreproachherwith。Iexpectedtofindhertemperhasty,butitwasnotso——herbehaviorwasunexceptionable。Sowasmine。Ourblisswasperfect,butunfortunately,Iwasnotmadefordomesticbliss——atalleventsI
couldnotendureit——soIfled,andwhenshecaughtmeagainI
couldgivenoexcuseformyflight,thoughImadeitcleartoherthatIwouldnotresumeourconnubialrelationsjustyet。Wepartedonbadterms。Ifullyintendedtowriteherasweetlettertomakeherforgivemeinspiteofherself,butsomehowtheweekshaveslippedawayandIamstillfullyintending。Shehasneverwritten,andIhaveneverwritten。Thisisaprettystateofthings,isn'tit,MissWilson,afterallheradvantagesundertheinfluenceofmoralforceandthemovementforthehighereducationofwomen？"
"Byyourownadmission,thefaultseemstolieuponyourmoraltrainingandnotuponhers。"
"Thefaultwasintheconditionsofourassociation。Whytheyshouldhaveattractedmesostronglyatfirst,andrepelledmesohorriblyafterwards,isoneofthosedevil'sriddleswhichwillnotbeanswereduntilweshallhavetracedalltheyetunsuspectedreactionsofourinveteratedishonesty。ButIamwastingyourtime,Ifear。YousentforSmilash,andIhaverespondedbypracticallyannihilatinghim。Inpublic,however,youmuststillbearwithhisantics。Onemomentmore。Ihadforgottentoaskyouwhetheryouareinterestedintheshepherdwhosewifeyoushelteredonthenightofthestorm？"
"Heassuredme,beforehetookhiswifeaway,thathewascomfortablysettledinalodginginLyvern。"
"Yes。Verycomfortablysettledindeed。Forhalf—a—crownaweekheobtainedpermissiontoshareaspaciousdrawing—roomwithtwootherfamiliesinaten—roomedhouseinnotmuchbetterrepairthanhisblown—downhovel。Thishouseyieldstoitslandlordovertwohundredayear,orrathermorethantherentofacommodiousmansioninSouthKensington。Itisatroublesomerenttocollect,butontheotherhandthereisnoexpenditureforrepairsorsanitation,whicharenotconsiderednecessaryintenementhouses。Ourfriendhastowalkthreemilestohisworkandthreemilesback。Exerciseisacapitalthingforastudentoracityclerk,buttoashepherdwhohasbeeninthefieldsallday,alongwalkattheendofhisworkissomewhattoomuchofagoodthing。Hebeggedforanincreaseofwagestocompensatehimforthelossofthehut,butSirJohnpointedouttohimthatifhewasnotsatisfiedhisplacecouldbeeasilyfilledbylessexorbitantshepherds。SirJohnevencondescendedtoexplainthatthelawsofpoliticaleconomybindemployerstobuylaborinthecheapestmarket,andourpoorfriend,justasignorantofeconomicsasSirJohn,ofcoursedidnotknowthatthiswasuntrue。However,aslaborisactuallysopurchasedeverywhereexceptinDowningStreetandafewotherprivilegedspots,I
suggestedthatourfriendshouldgotosomeplacewherehismarketpricewouldbehigherthaninmerryEngland。Hewaswillingenoughtodoso,butunablefromwantofmeans。SoIlenthimatrifle,andnowheisonhiswaytoAustralia。Workmenarethegeesethatlaythegoldeneggs,buttheyflyawaysometimes。
Ihearagongsounding,toremindmeofthefightoftimeandthevalueofyourshareofit。Good—morning！"
MissWilsonwassuddenlymovednottolethimgowithoutanappealtohisbetternature。"Mr。Trefusis,"shesaid,"excuseme,butareyounot,inyourgenerositytoothersalittleforgetfulofyourdutytoyourself;and——"
"Thefirstandhardestofallduties！"heexclaimed。"Ibegyourpardonforinterruptingyou。Itwasonlytopleadguilty。"
"Icannotadmitthatitisthefirstofallduties,butitissometimesperhapsthehardest,asyousay。Still,youcouldsurelydoyourselfmorejusticewithoutanygreateffort。Ifyouwishtolivehumbly,youcandosowithoutpretendingtobeanuneducatedmanandwithouttakinganirritatingandabsurdname。
WhyonearthdoyoucallyourselfSmilash？"
"Iconfessthatthenamehasbeenafailure。Itookgreatpains,inconstructingit,tosecureapleasantimpression。Itisnotamereinvention,butacompoundofthewordssmileandeyelash。A
smilesuggestsgoodhumor;eyelashessoftentheexpressionandaretheonlyfeaturesthatneverblemishaface。HenceSmilashisasoundthatshouldcheerandpropitiate。Yetitexasperates。Itisreallyveryoddthatitshouldhavethateffect,unlessitisthatitraisesexpectationswhichIamunabletosatisfy。"
MissWilsonlookedathimdoubtfully。Heremainedperfectlygrave。Therewasapause。Then,asifshehadmadeuphermindtobeoffended,shesaid,"Good—morning,"shortly。
"Good—morning,MissWilson。Thesonofamillionaire,likethesonofaking,isseldomfreefrommentaldisease。Iamjustmadenoughtobeamountebank。IfIwerealittlemadder,IshouldperhapsreallybelievemyselfSmilashinsteadofmerelyactinghim。Whetheryouaskmetoforgetmyselfforamoment,ortoremembermyselfforamoment,IreplythatIamthesonofmyfather,andcannot。Withmyegotism,mycharlatanry,mytongue,andmyhabitofhavingmyownway,Iamfitfornocallingbutthatofsaviourofmankind——justofthesorttheylike。"Afteranimpressivepauseheturnedslowlyandlefttheroom。
"Iwonder,"hesaid,ashecrossedthelanding,"whether,byjudiciouslylosingmyway,Icancatchaglimpseofthatgirlwhoislikeagoldenidol？"
Downstairs,onhiswaytothedoor,hesawAgathacomingtowardshim,occupiedwithabookwhichshewastossinguptotheceilingandcatching。Hermelancholyexpression,habitualinherlonelymoments,showedthatshewasnotamusingherself,butgivingventtoherrestlessness。Ashergazetravelledupward,followingtheflightofthevolume,itwasarrestedbySmilash。Thebookfelltothefloor。Hepickeditupandhandedittoher,saying:
"And,ingoodtime,hereisthegoldenidol！"
"What？"saidAgatha,confused。
"Icallyouthegoldenidol,"hesaid。"WhenweareapartI
alwaysimagineyourfaceasafaceofgold,witheyesandteethofbdellium,orchalcedony,oragate,oranywonderfulunknownstonesofappropriatecolors。"
Agatha,witlessanddumb,couldonlylookdowndeprecatingly。
"Youthinkyououghttobeangrywithme,andyoudonotknowexactlyhowtomakemefeelthatyouareso。Isthatit？"
"No。Quitethecontrary。Atleast——Imeanthatyouarewrong。I
amthemostcommonplacepersonyoucanimagine——ifyouonlyknew。
NomatterwhatImaylook,Imean。"
"Howdoyouknowthatyouarecommonplace？"
"OfcourseIknow,"saidAgatha,hereyeswanderinguneasily。
"Ofcourseyoudonotknow;youcannotseeyourselfasothersseeyou。Forinstance,youhaveneverthoughtofyourselfasagoldenidol。"
"Butthatisabsurd。Youarequitemistakenaboutme。"
"Perhapsso。Iknow,however,thatyourfaceisnotreallymadeofgoldandthatithasnotthesamecharmforyouthatithasforothers——forme。"
"Imustgo,"saidAgatha,suddenlyinhaste。
"Whenshallwemeetagain？"
"Idon'tknow,"shesaid,withagrowingsenseofalarm。"I
reallymustgo。"
"Believeme,yourhurryisonlyimaginary。DoyoufancythatyouarebehavinginamannerquiteubduedardorthataffectedAgathastrangely。"Butfirsttellmewhetheritisnewtoyouornot。"
"Itisnotanemotionatall。Ididnotsaythatitwas。"
"Donotbeafraidofit。Itisonlybeingalonewithamanwhomyouhavebewitched。Youwouldbemistressofthesituationifyouonlyknewhowtomanagealover。Itisfareasierthanmanagingahorse,orskating,orplayingthepiano,orhalfadozenotherfeatsofwhichyouthinknothing。"
Agathacoloredandraisedherhead。
"Forgiveme,"hesaid,interruptingtheaction。"Iamtryingtooffendyouinordertosavemyselffromfallinginlovewithyou,andIhavenotthehearttoletmyselfsucceed。Onyourlife,donotlistentomeorbelieveme。Ihavenorighttosaythesethingstoyou。SomefiendentersintomewhenIamatyourside。
Youshouldwearaveil,Agatha。"
Sheblushed,andstoodburningandtingling,herpresenceofmindgone,andherchiefsensationoneofrelieftohear——forshedidnotdaretosee——thathewasdeparting。Herconsciousnesswasinadeliciousconfusion,withtheonedefinitethoughtinitthatshehadwonherloveratlast。ThetoneofTrefusis'svoice,richwithtruthandearnestness,hisquickinsight,andhispassionatewarningtohernottoheedhim,convincedherthatshehadenteredintoarelationdestinedtoinfluenceherwholelife。
"Andyet,"shesaidremorsefully,"Icannotlovehimashelovesme。Iamselfish,cold,calculating,worldly,andhavedoubteduntilnowwhethersuchathingaslovereallyexisted。IfIcouldonlylovehimrecklesslyandwholly,ashelovesme！"
Smilashwasalsosoliloquizingashewentonhisway。
"NowIhavemadethepoorchild——whowassoanxiousthatIshouldnotmistakeherforasupernaturallygiftedandlovelywomanashappyasanangel;andsoisthatfinegirlwhomtheycallJaneCarpenter。Ihopetheywon'texchangeconfidencesonthesubject。"
CHAPTERVIII
Mrs。TrefusisfoundherparentssounsympatheticonthesubjectofhermarriagethatshelefttheirhouseshortlyafterhervisittoLyvern,andwenttoresidewithahospitablefriend。Unabletoremainsilentuponthematterconstantlyinherthoughts,shediscussedherhusband'sflightwiththisfriend,andelicitedanopinionthatthebehaviorofTrefusiswasscandalousandwicked。
Henriettacouldnotbearthis,andsoughtshelterwitharelative。Thesamediscussionarising,therelativesaid:
"Well,Hetty,ifIamtospeakcandidly,ImustsaythatIhaveknownSidneyTrefusisforalongtime,andheistheeasiestpersontogetonwithIevermet。Andyouknow,dear,thatyouareverytryingsometimes。"
"Andso,"criedHenrietta,burstingintotears,"aftertheinfamouswayhehastreatedmeIamtobetoldthatitisallmyownfault。"
Sheleftthehousenextday,havingobtainedanotherinvitationfromadiscreetladywhowouldnotdiscussthesubjectatall。
Thisprovedquiteintolerable,andHenriettawenttostaywithheruncleDanielJansenius,ajollyandindulgentman。Heopinedthatthingswouldcomerightassoonasbothpartiesgrewmoresensible;and,astowhichofthemwas,infault,hisverdictwas,sixofoneandhalfadozenoftheother。Wheneverhesawhisniecepensiveortearfulhelaughedatherandcalledheragrasswidow。Henriettafoundthatshecouldendureanythingratherthanthis。Declaringthattheworldwashatefultoher,shehiredafurnishedvillainSt。John'sWood,whithershemovedinDecember。But,sufferingmuchtherefromloneliness,shesoonwroteapatheticlettertoAgatha,entreatinghertospendtheapproachingChristmasvacationwithher,andpromisinghereveryluxuryandamusementthatboundlessaffectioncouldsuggestandboundlessmeansprocure。Agatha'sreplycontainedsomeunlooked—forinformation。
"AltonCollege,Lyvern,"14thDecember。
"DearestHetty:Idon'tthinkIcandoexactlywhatyouwant,asImustspendXmaswithMammaatChiswick;butIneednotgetthereuntilXmasEve,andwebreakuphereonyesterdayweek,the20th。SoIwillgostraighttoyouandbringyouwithmetoMamma's,whereyouwillspendXmasmuchbetterthanmopinginastrangehouse。Itisnotquitesettledyetaboutmyleavingthecollegeafterthisterm。Youmustpromisenottotellanyone;butIhaveanewfriendhere——alover。NotthatIaminlovewithhim,thoughIthinkveryhighlyofhim——youknowIamnotaromanticfool;butheisverymuchinlovewithme;andIwishI
couldreturnitashedeserves。TheFrenchsaythatonepersonturnsthecheekandtheotherkissesit。Ithasnotgotquitesofarasthatwithus;indeed,sincehedeclaredwhathefelthehasonlybeenabletosnatchafewwordswithmewhenIhavebeenskatingorwalking。Buttherehasalwaysbeenatleastonewordorlookthatmeantagreatdeal。
"Andnow,whodoyouthinkheis？Hesaysheknowsyou。Canyouguess？Hesaysyouknowallhissecrets。Hesaysheknowsyourhusbandwell;thathetreatedyouverybadly,andthatyouaregreatlytobepitied。Canyouguessnow？Hesayshehaskissedyou——forshame,Hetty！Haveyouguessedyet？Hewasgoingtotellmesomethingmorewhenwewereinterrupted,andIhavenotseenhimsinceexceptatadistance。Heisthemanwithwhomyouelopedthatdaywhenyougaveusallsuchafright——Mr。Sidney。I
wasthefirsttopenetratehisdisguise;andthatverymorningI
hadtaxedhimwithit,andhehadconfessedit。Hesaidthenthathewashidingfromawomanwhowasinlovewithhim;andIshouldnotbesurprisedifitturnedouttobetrue;forheiswonderfullyoriginal——infactwhatmakesmelikehimisthatheisbyfarthecleverestmanIhaveevermet;andyethethinksnothingofhimself。Icannotimaginewhatheseesinmetocarefor,thoughheisevidentlyensnaredbymycharms。Ihopehewon'tfindouthowsillyIam。Hecalledmehisgoldenidol——"
Henrietta,withascreamofrage,toretheletteracross,andstampeduponit。Whentheparoxysmsubsidedshepickedupthepieces,heldthemtogetherasaccuratelyashertremblinghandscould,andreadon。
"——butheisnotallhoney,andwillsaythemostseverethingssometimesifhethinksheoughtto。HehasmademesoashamedofmyignorancethatIamresolvedtostayhereforanothertermatleast,andstudyashardasIcan。Ihavenotbegunyet,asitisnotworthwhileattheeleventhhourofthisterm;butwhenI
returninJanuaryIwillsettoworkinearnest。Soyoumayseethathisinfluenceovermeisanentirelygoodone。Iwilltellyouallabouthimwhenwemeet;forIhavenotimetosayanythingnow,asthegirlsarebotheringmetogoskatingwiththem。Hepretendstobeaworkman,andputsonourskatesforus;
andJaneCarpenterbelievesthatheisinlovewithher。Janeisexceedinglykindhearted;butshehasatalentformakingherselfridiculousthatnothingcansuppress。Theiceislovely,andtheweatherjolly;wedonotmindthecoldintheleast。Theyarethreateningtogowithoutme——good—bye！
"Everyouraffectionate"Agatha。"
Henriettalookedroundforsomethingsharp。Shegraspedapairofscissorsgreedilyandstabbedtheairwiththem。Thenshebecameconsciousofhermurderousimpulse,andsheshudderedatit;butinamomentmoreherjealousysweptbackuponher。Shecried,asifsuffocating,"Idon'tcare;Ishouldliketokillher！"Butshedidnottakeupthescissorsagain。
Atlastsherangthebellviolentlyandaskedforarailwayguide。Onbeingtoldthattherewasnotoneinthehouse,shescoldedhermaidsounreasonablythatthegirlsaidpertlythatifsheweretobespokentolikethatsheshouldwishtoleavewhenhermonthwasup。ThischeckbroughtHenriettatohersenses。Shewentupstairsandputonthefirstcloakathand,whichwasfortunatelyaheavyfurone。Thenshetookherbonnetandpurse,leftthehouse,hailedapassinghansom,andbadethecabmandrivehertoSt。Pancras。
WhenthenightcametheairatLyvernwaslikeironintheintensecold。Thetreesandthewindseemedice—bound,asthewaterwas,andsilence,stillness,andstarlight,frozenhard,broodedoverthecountry。Atthechalet,Smilash,indifferenttothepriceofcoals,keptuparoaringfirethatglowedthroughtheuncurtainedwindows,andtantalizedthechilledwayfarerwhodidnothappentoknow,astheherdsmenoftheneighborhooddid,thathewaswelcometoenterandwarmhimselfwithoutriskofrebufffromthetenant。Smilashwasinhighspirits。Hehadbecomeaproficientskater,andfrostyweatherwasnowaluxurytohim。Itbracedhim,anddroveawayhisgloomyfits,whilsthissympathieswerekeptawakeandhisindignationmaintainedatanexhilaratingpitchbythesufferingsofthepoor,who,unabletoaffordfiresorskating,warmedthemselvesinsuchswelteringheatasovercrowdingproducesinallseasons。
ItwasSmilash'scustomtomakeahotdrinkofoatmealandwaterforhimselfathalf—pastnineo'clockeachevening,andtogotobedatten。Heopenedthedoortothrowoutsomewaterthatremainedinthesaucepanfromitslastcleansing。Itfrozeasitfelluponthesoil。Helookedatthenight,andshookhimselftothrowoffanoppressivesensationofbeingclaspedintheicyribsoftheair,forthemercuryhaddescendedbelowthefamiliarregionofcrispandcracklycoldandmarkedatemperatureatwhichthenumbatmosphereseemedonthepointofcongealingintoblacksolidity。Nothingwasstirring。
"ByGeorge！"hesaid,"thisisoneofthosenightsonwhicharichmandaren'tthink！"
Heshutthedoor,hastenedbacktohisfire,andsettoworkathiscaudle,whichhewatchedandstirredwithasolicitudethatwouldhaveamusedaprofessedcook。Whenitwasdonehepoureditintoalargemug,whereitsteamedinvitingly。Hetookupsomeinaspoonandblewuponittocoolit。Tap,tap,tap,tap！
hurriedlyatthedoor。
"Nicenightforawalk,"hesaid,puttingdownthespoon;thenshouting,"Comein。"
Thelatchroseunsteadily,andHenrietta,withfrozentearsonhercheeks,andanunintelligibleexpressionofwretchednessandrage,appeared。Afteraninstantofamazement,hesprangtoherandclaspedherinhisarms,andshe,againstherwill,andprotestingvoicelessly,stumbledintohisembrace。
"Youarefrozentodeath,"heexclaimed,carryinghertothefire。"Thissealjacketislikeasheetofice。Soisyourface"
（kissingit）。"Whatisthematter？Whydoyoustruggleso？"
"Letmego,"shegasped,inavehementwhisper。"Ih——hateyou。"
"Mypoorlove,youaretoocoldtohateanyone——evenyourhusband。YoumustletmetakeofftheseatrociousFrenchboots。
Yourfeetmustbeperfectlydead。"
Bythistimehervoiceandtearswerethawinginthewarmthofthechaletandofhiscaresses。"Youshallnottakethemoff,"
shesaid,cryingwithcoldandsorrow。"Letmealone。Don'ttouchme。Iamgoingaway——straightback。Iwillnotspeaktoyou,nortakeoffmythingshere,nortouchanythinginthehouse。"
"No,mydarling,"hesaid,puttingherintoacapaciouswoodenarmchairandbusilyunbuttoningherboots,"youshalldonothingthatyoudon'twishtodo。Yourfeetarelikestones。Yes,yes,mydear,Iamawretchunworthytolive。Iknowit。"
"Letmealone,"shesaidpiteously。"Idon'twantyourattentions。Ihavedonewithyouforever。"
"Come,youmustdrinksomeofthisnastystuff。Youwillneedstrengthtotellyourhusbandalltheunpleasantthingsyoursoulischargedwith。Takejustalittle。"
Sheturnedherfaceawayandwouldnotanswer。Hebroughtanotherchairandsatdownbesideher。"Mylost,forlorn,betrayedone——"
"Iam,"shesobbed。"Youdon'tmeanit,butIam。"
"Youarealsomydearestandbestofwives。Ifyoueverlovedme,Hetty,do,formyoncedearsake,drinkthisbeforeitgetscold。"
Shepouted,sobbed,andyieldedtosomegentleforcewhichheused,asachildallowsherselftobehalfpersuaded,halfcompelled,totakephysic。
"Doyoufeelbetterandmorecomfortablenow？"hesaid。
"No,"shereplied,angrywithherselfforfeelingboth。
"Then,"hesaidcheerfully,asifshehadutteredaheartyaffirmative,"Iwillputsomemorecoalsonthefire,andweshallbeassnugaspossible。Itmakesmewildlyhappytoseeyouatmyfireside,andtoknowthatyouaremyownwife。"
"Iwonderhowyoucanlookmeinthefaceandsayso,"shecried。
"IshouldwonderatmyselfifIcouldlookatyourfaceandsayanythingelse。Oatmealisacapitalrestorative;allyourenergyiscomingback。There,thatwillmakeamagnificentblazepresently。"
"Ineverthoughtyoudeceitful,Sidney,whateverotherfaultsyoumighthavehad。"
"Precisely,mylove。Iunderstandyourfeelings。Murder,burglary,intemperance,ortheminorvicesyoucouldhaveborne;
butdeceityoucannotabide。"
"Iwillgoaway,"shesaiddespairingly,withafreshburstoftears。"Iwillnotbelaughedatandbetrayed。Iwillgobarefooted。"Sheroseandattemptedtoreachthedoor;butheinterceptedherandsaid:
"Mylove,thereissomethingseriousthematter。Whatisit？
Don'tbeangrywithme。"
Hebroughtherbacktothechair。ShetookAgatha'sletterfromthepocketofherfurcloak,andhandedittohimwithafaintattempttobetragic。
"Readthat,"shesaid。"Andneverspeaktomeagain。Allisoverbetweenus。"
Hetookitcuriously,andturnedittolookatthesignature。
"Aha！"hesaid,"mygoldenidolhasbeenmakingmischief,hasshe？"
"There！"exclaimedHenrietta。"Youhavesaidittomyface！Youhaveconvictedyourselfoutofyourownmouth！"
"Waitamoment,mydear。Ihavenotreadtheletteryet。"
Heroseandwalkedtoandfrothroughtheroom,reading。Shewatchedhim,angrilyconfidentthatsheshouldpresentlyseehimchangecountenance。Suddenlyhedroopedasifhisspinehadpartlygivenway;andinthisungracefulattitudehereadtheremainderoftheletter。Whenhehadfinishedhethrewitonthetable,thrusthishandsdeepintohispockets,androaredwithlaughter,huddlinghimselftogetherasifhecouldconcentratethejokebycollectinghimselfintothesmallestpossiblecompass。Henrietta,speechlesswithindignation,couldonlylookherfeelings。Atlasthecameandsatdownbesideher。
"Andso,"hesaid,"onreceivingthisyourushedoutinthecoldandcameallthewaytoLyvern。Now,itseemstomethatyoumusteitherlovemeverymuch——"
"Idon't。Ihateyou。"
"Orelseloveyourselfverymuch。"
"Oh！"Andsheweptafresh。"Youareaselfishbrute,andyoudojustasyoulikewithoutconsideringanyoneelse。Nooneeverthinksofme。Andnowyouwon'teventakethetroubletodenythatshamefulletter。"
"WhyshouldIdenyit？Itistrue。Doyounotseetheironyofallthis？IamusemyselfbypayingafewcomplimentstoaschoolgirlforwhomIdonotcaretwostrawsmorethanforanyagreeableandpassablycleverwomanImeet。Nevertheless,I
occasionallyfeelapangofremorsebecauseIthinkthatshemaylovemeseriously,althoughIamonlyplayingwithher。IpitythepoorheartIhavewantonlyensnared。And,allthetime,sheispityingmeforexactlythesamereason！Sheisconscience—strickenbecausesheisonlyindulgingintheluxuryofbeingadored'byfarthecleverestmanshehasevermet,'andisasheart—wholeasIam！Ha,ha！Thatisthebasisofthereligionofloveofwhichpoetsarethehigh—priests。Eachworshipperknowsthathisownloveiseitheratransientpassionorashamcopiedfromhisfavoritepoem;buthebelieveshonestlyintheloveofothersforhim。Ho,ho！Isitnotasillyworld,mydear？"
"YouhadnorighttomakelovetoAgatha。Youhavenorighttomakelovetoanyonebutme;andIwon'tbearit。"
"YouareangrybecauseAgathahasinfringedyourmonopoly。Alwaysmonopoly！Why,yousillygirl,doyousupposethatIbelongtoyou,bodyandsoul？——thatImaynotbemovedexceptbyyouraffection,orthinkexceptofyourbeauty？"
"Youmaycallmeasmanynamesasyouplease,butyouhavenorighttomakelovetoAgatha。"
"Mydearest,Idonotrecollectcallingyouanynames。Ithinkyousaidsomethingaboutaselfishbrute。"
"Ididnot。Youcalledmeasillygirl。"
"But,mylove,youare。"
"AndsoYOUare。Youarethoroughlyselfish。"
"Idon'tdenyit。Butletusreturntooursubject。Whatdidwebegintoquarrelabout？"
"Iamnotquarrelling,Sidney。Itisyou。"
"Well,whatdidIbegintoquarrelabout？"
"AboutAgathaWylie。"
"Oh,pardonme,Hetty;Icertainlydidnotbegintoquarrelabouther。Iamveryfondofher——moreso,itappears,thansheisofme。Onemoment,Hetty,beforeyourecommenceyourreproaches。
WhydoyoudislikemysayingprettythingstoAgatha？"
Henriettahesitated,andsaid:"Becauseyouhavenorightto。Itshowshowlittleyoucareforme。"
"Ithasnothingtodowithyou。ItonlyshowshowmuchIcareforher。"
"Iwillnotstayheretobeinsulted,"saidHetty,herdistressreturning。"Iwillgohome。"
"Notto—night;thereisnotrain。"
"Iwillwalk。"
"Itistoofar。"
"Idon'tcare。Iwillnotstayhere,thoughIdieofcoldbytheroadside。"
"Mycherishedone,Ihavebeenannoyingyoupurposelybecauseyoushowbyyourangerthatyouhavenotceasedtocareforme。Iaminthewrong,asIusuallyam,anditisallmyfault。Agathaknowsnothingaboutourmarriage。"
"Idonotblameyousomuch,"saidHenrietta,sufferinghimtoplaceherheadonhisshoulder;"butIwillneverspeaktoAgathaagain。Shehasbehavedshamefullytome,andIwilltellherso。"
"Nodoubtshewillopinethatitisallyourfault,dearest,andthatIhavebehavedadmirably。BetweenyouIshallstandexonerated。Andnow,sinceitistoocoldforwalking,sinceitislate,sinceitisfartoLyvernandfarthertoLondon,Imustimprovisesomeaccommodationforyouhere。"
"But——"
"Butthereisnohelpforit。Youmuststay。"
CHAPTERIX
NextdaySmilashobtainedfromhiswifeapromisethatshewouldbehavetowardsAgathaasiftheletterhadgivennooffence。