"Ihavebutoneaunt——and——andIhaveanotheruseforthemoney,mylord,"saysmylady,turningveryred。
"Anotheruse,mydear;andwhatdoyouknowaboutmoney?"criesmylord。"AndwhatthedevilistherethatIdon'tgiveyouwhichyouwant!"
"Iintendtogivethismoney——can'tyoufancyhow,mylord?"
Mylordsworeoneofhislargeoathsthathedidnotknowintheleastwhatshemeant。
"IintenditforHarryEsmondtogotocollege。CousinHarry,"
saysmylady,"youmustn'tstaylongerinthisdullplace,butmakeanametoyourself,andforustoo,Harry。"
"D——nit,Harry'swellenoughhere,"saysmylord,foramomentlookingrathersulky。
"IsHarrygoingaway?Youdon'tmeantosayyouwillgoaway?"cryoutFrankandBeatrixatonebreath。
"Buthewillcomeback:andthiswillalwaysbehishome,"criesmylady,withblueeyeslookingacelestialkindness:"andhisscholarswillalwayslovehim;won'tthey?"
"ByG—d,Rachel,you'reagoodwoman!"saysmylord,seizingmylady'shand,atwhichsheblushedverymuch,andshrankback,puttingherchildrenbeforeher。"Iwishyoujoy,mykinsman,"hecontinued,givingHarryEsmondaheartyslapontheshoulder。"I
won'tbalkyourluck。GotoCambridge,boy,andwhenTusherdiesyoushallhavethelivinghere,ifyouarenotbetterprovidedbythattime。We'llfurnishthedining—roomandbuythehorsesanotheryear。I'llgivetheeanagoutofthestable:takeanyoneexceptmyhackandthebaygeldingandthecoach—horses;andGodspeedthee,myboy!"
"Havethesorrel,Harry;'tisagoodone。Fathersays'tisthebestinthestable,"sayslittleFrank,clappinghishands,andjumpingup。"Let'scomeandseehiminthestable。"Andtheother,inhisdelightandeagerness,wasforleavingtheroomthatinstanttoarrangeabouthisjourney。
TheLadyCastlewoodlookedafterhimwithsadpenetratingglances。
"Hewishestobegonealready,mylord,"saidshetoherhusband。
Theyoungmanhungbackabashed。"Indeed,Iwouldstayforever,ifyourladyshipbademe,"hesaid。
"Andthouwouldstbeafoolforthypains,kinsman,"saidmylord。
"Tut,tut,man。Goandseetheworld。Sowthywildoats;andtakethebestluckthatFatesendsthee。IwishIwereaboyagain,thatImightgotocollege,andtastetheTrumpingtonale。"
"Ours,indeed,isbutadullhome,"criesmylady,withalittleofsadnessand,maybe,ofsatire,inhervoice:"anoldglumhouse,halfruined,andtherestonlyhalffurnished;awomanandtwochildrenarebutpoorcompanyformenthatareaccustomedtobetter。Weareonlyfittobeyourworship'shandmaids,andyourpleasuresmustofnecessitylieelsewherethanathome。"
"Curseme,Rachel,ifIknownowwhetherthouartinearnestornot,"saidmylord。
"Inearnest,mylord!"saysshe,stillclingingbyoneofherchildren。"Istheremuchsubjecthereforjoke?"Andshemadehimagrandcurtsy,and,givingastatelylooktoHarryEsmond,whichseemedtosay,"Remember;youunderstandme,thoughhedoesnot,"
shelefttheroomwithherchildren。
"SinceshefoundoutthatconfoundedHextonbusiness,"mylordsaid——"andbehangedtothemthattoldher!——shehasnotbeenthesamewoman。She,whousedtobeashumbleasamilkmaid,isasproudasaprincess,"saysmylord。"Takemycounsel,HarryEsmond,andkeepclearofwomen。SinceIhavehadanythingtodowiththejades,theyhavegivenmenothingbutdisgust。IhadawifeatTangier,withwhom,asshecouldn'tspeakawordofmylanguage,you'dhavethoughtImightleadaquietlife。Butshetriedtopoisonme,becauseshewasjealousofaJewgirl。Therewasyouraunt,forauntsheis——auntJezebel,aprettylifeyourfatherledwithHER!andhere'smylady。WhenIsawheronapillion,ridingbehindtheDeanherfather,shelookedandwassuchababy,thatasixpennydollmighthavepleasedher。Andnowyouseewhatsheis——handsoff,highty—tighty,highandmighty,anempresscouldn'tbegrander。Passusthetankard,Harrymyboy。A
mugofbeerandatoastatmorn,saysmyhost。Atoastandamugofbeeratnoon,saysmydear。D——nit,Pollylovesamugofale,too,andlacedwithbrandy,byJove!"Indeed,Isupposetheydrankittogether;formylordwasoftenthickinhisspeechatmid—daydinner;andatnightatsupper,speechlessaltogether。
HarryEsmond'sdepartureresolvedupon,itseemedasiftheLadyCastlewood,too,rejoicedtolosehim;formorethanonce,whenthelad,ashamedperhapsathisownsecreteagernesstogoaway(atanyratestrickenwithsadnessattheideaofleavingthosefromwhomhehadreceivedsomanyproofsofloveandkindnessinestimable),triedtoexpresstohismistresshissenseofgratitudetoher,andhissorrowatquittingthosewhohadsoshelteredandtendedanamelessandhouselessorphan,LadyCastlewoodcutshorthisprotestsofloveandhislamentations,andwouldhearofnogrief,butonlylookforwardtoHarry'sfameandprospectsinlife。"Ourlittlelegacywillkeepyouforfouryearslikeagentleman。
Heaven'sProvidence,yourowngenius,industry,honor,mustdotherestforyou。Castlewoodwillalwaysbeahomeforyou;andthesechildren,whomyouhavetaughtandloved,willnotforgettoloveyou。And,Harry,"saidshe(andthiswastheonlytimewhenshespokewithatearinhereye,oratremorinhervoice),"itmayhappeninthecourseofnaturethatIshallbecalledawayfromthem:andtheirfather——and——andtheywillneedtruefriendsandprotectors。Promisemethatyouwillbetruetothem——as——asI
thinkIhavebeentoyou——andamother'sfondprayerandblessinggowithyou。"
"SohelpmeGod,madam,Iwill,"saidHarryEsmond,fallingonhisknees,andkissingthehandofhisdearestmistress。"Ifyouwillhavemestaynow,Iwill。WhatmatterswhetherornoImakemywayinlife,orwhetherapoorbastarddiesasunknownasheisnow?
'TisenoughthatIhaveyourloveandkindnesssurely;andtomakeyouhappyisdutyenoughforme。"
"Happy!"saysshe;"butindeedIoughttobe,withmychildren,and——"
"Nothappy!"criedEsmond(forheknewwhatherlifewas,thoughheandhismistressneverspokeawordconcerningit)。"Ifnothappiness,itmaybeease。Letmestayandworkforyou——letmestayandbeyourservant。"
"Indeed,youarebestaway,"saidmylady,laughing,assheputherhandontheboy'sheadforamoment。"Youshallstayinnosuchdullplace。Youshallgotocollegeanddistinguishyourselfasbecomesyourname。Thatishowyoushallpleasemebest;and——andifmychildrenwantyou,orIwantyou,youshallcometous;andI
knowwemaycountonyou。"
"Mayheavenforsakemeifyoumaynot!"Harrysaid,gettingupfromhisknee。
"Andmyknightlongsforadragonthisinstantthathemayfight,"
saidmylady,laughing;whichspeechmadeHarryEsmondstart,andturnred;forindeedtheverythoughtwasinhismind,thathewouldlikethatsomechanceshouldimmediatelyhappenwherebyhemightshowhisdevotion。Anditpleasedhimtothinkthathisladyhadcalledhim"herknight,"andoftenandoftenherecalledthistohismind,andprayedthathemightbehertrueknight,too。
Mylady'sbed—chamberwindowlookedoutoverthecountry,andyoucouldseefromitthepurplehillsbeyondCastlewoodvillage,thegreencommonbetwixtthatandtheHall,andtheoldbridgewhichcrossedovertheriver。WhenHarryEsmondwentawayforCambridge,littleFrankranalongsidehishorseasfarasthebridge,andthereHarrystoppedforamoment,andlookedbackatthehousewherethebestpartofhislifehadbeenpassed。Itlaybeforehimwithitsgrayfamiliartowers,apinnacleortwoshininginthesun,thebuttressesandterracewallscastinggreatblueshadesonthegrass。AndHarryremembered,allhislifeafter,howhesawhismistressatthewindowlookingoutonhiminawhiterobe,thelittleBeatrix'schestnutcurlsrestingathermother'sside。Bothwavedafarewelltohim,andlittleFranksobbedtoleavehim。
Yes,heWOULDbehislady'strueknight,hevowedinhisheart;hewavedheranadieuwithhishat。ThevillagepeoplehadGood—bytosaytohimtoo。AllknewthatMasterHarrywasgoingtocollege,andmostofthemhadakindwordandalookoffarewell。Idonotstoptosaywhatadventureshebegantoimagine,orwhatcareertodeviseforhimselfbeforehehadriddenthreemilesfromhome。HehadnotreadMonsieurGalland'singeniousArabiantalesasyet;butbesurethatthereareotherfolkswhobuildcastlesintheair,andhavefinehopes,andkickthemdowntoo,besideshonestAlnaschar。
CHAPTERX。
IGOTOCAMBRIDGE,ANDDOBUTLITTLEGOODTHERE。
Mrlord,whosaidheshouldliketorevisittheoldhauntsofhisyouth,kindlyaccompaniedHarryEsmondinhisfirstjourneytoCambridge。TheirroadlaythroughLondon,wheremyLordViscountwouldalsohaveHarrystayafewdaystoshowhimthepleasuresofthetownbeforeheentereduponhisuniversitystudies,andwhilsthereHarry'spatronconductedtheyoungmantomyLadyDowager'shouseatChelseynearLondon:thekindladyatCastlewoodhavingspeciallyorderedthattheyounggentlemanandtheoldshouldpayarespectfulvisitinthatquarter。
HerladyshiptheViscountessDowageroccupiedahandsomenewhouseinChelsey,withagardenbehindit,andfacingtheriver,alwaysabrightandanimatedsightwithitsswarmsofsailors,barges,andwherries。Harrylaughedatrecognizingintheparlorthewell—
rememberedoldpieceofSirPeterLely,whereinhisfather'swidowwasrepresentedasavirginhuntress,armedwithagiltbow—and—
arrow,andencumberedonlywiththatsmallquantityofdraperywhichitwouldseemthevirginsinKingCharles'sdaywereaccustomedtowear。
MyLadyDowagerhadleftoffthispeculiarhabitofhuntresswhenshemarried。Butthoughshewasnowconsiderablypastsixtyyearsofage,IbelieveshethoughtthatairynymphofthepicturecouldstillbeeasilyrecognizedinthevenerablepersonagewhogaveanaudiencetoHarryandhispatron。
Shereceivedtheyoungmanwithevenmorefavorthansheshowedtotheelder,forshechosetocarryontheconversationinFrench,inwhichmyLordCastlewoodwasnogreatproficient,andexpressedhersatisfactionatfindingthatMr。Esmondcouldspeakfluentlyinthatlanguage。"'Twastheonlyonefitforpoliteconversation,"
shecondescendedtosay,"andsuitabletopersonsofhighbreeding。"
Mylordlaughedafterwards,asthegentlemenwentaway,athiskinswoman'sbehavior。HesaidherememberedthetimewhenshecouldspeakEnglishfastenough,andjokedinhisjollywayatthelosshehadhadofsuchalovelywifeasthat。
MyLadyViscountessdeignedtoaskhislordshipnewsofhiswifeandchildren;shehadheardthatLadyCastlewoodhadhadthesmall—
pox;shehopedshewasnotsoVERYmuchdisfiguredaspeoplesaid。
Atthisremarkabouthiswife'smalady,myLordViscountwincedandturnedred;buttheDowager,inspeakingofthedisfigurementoftheyounglady,turnedtoherlooking—glassandexaminedheroldwrinkledcountenanceinitwithsuchagrinofsatisfaction,thatitwasallherguestscoulddotorefrainfromlaughinginherancientface。
SheaskedHarrywhathisprofessionwastobe;andmylord,sayingthattheladwastotakeorders,andhavethelivingofCastlewoodwhenoldDr。Tushervacatedit,shedidnotseemtoshowanyparticularangeratthenotionofHarry'sbecomingaChurchofEnglandclergyman,nay,wasrathergladthanotherwise,thattheyouthshouldbesoprovidedfor。ShebadeMr。EsmondnottoforgettopayheravisitwheneverhepassedthroughLondon,andcarriedhergraciousnesssofarastosendapursewithtwentyguineasforhim,tothetavernatwhichmylordputup(the"Greyhound,"inCharingCross);and,alongwiththiswelcomegiftforherkinsman,shesentalittledollforapresenttomylord'slittledaughterBeatrix,whowasgrowingbeyondtheageofdollsbythistime,andwasastallalmostashervenerablerelative。
Afterseeingthetown,andgoingtotheplays,myLordCastlewoodandEsmondrodetogethertoCambridge,spendingtwopleasantdaysuponthejourney。Thoserapidnewcoacheswerenotestablished,asyet,thatperformedthewholejourneybetweenLondonandtheUniversityinasingleday;however,theroadwaspleasantandshortenoughtoHarryEsmond,andhealwaysgratefullyrememberedthathappyholidaywhichhiskindpatrongavehim。
Mr。EsmondwasenteredapensionerofTrinityCollegeinCambridge,towhichfamouscollegemylordhadalsoinhisyouthbelonged。
Dr。Montaguewasmasteratthistime,andreceivedmyLordViscountwithgreatpoliteness:sodidMr。Bridge,whowasappointedtobeHarry'stutor。TomTusher,whowasofEmanuelCollege,andwasbythistimeajuniorsoph,cametowaituponmylord,andtotakeHarryunderhisprotection;andcomfortableroomsbeingprovidedforhiminthegreatcourtclosebythegate,andneartothefamousMr。Newton'slodgings,Harry'spatrontookleaveofhimwithmanykindwordsandblessings,andanadmonitiontohimtobehavebetterattheUniversitythanmylordhimselfhadeverdone。
'TisneedlessinthesememoirstogoatanylengthintotheparticularsofHarryEsmond'scollegecareer。Itwaslikethatofahundredyounggentlemenofthatday。Buthehadtheillfortunetobeolderbyacoupleofyearsthanmostofhisfellow—students;
andbyhisprevioussolitarymodeofbringingup,thecircumstancesofhislife,andthepeculiarthoughtfulnessandmelancholythathadnaturallyengendered,hewas,inagreatmeasure,cutofffromthesocietyofcomradeswhoweremuchyoungerandhigher—spiritedthanhe。Histutor,whohadboweddowntotheground,ashewalkedmylordoverthecollegegrass—plats,changedhisbehaviorassoonasthenobleman'sbackwasturned,andwas——atleastHarrythoughtso——harshandoverbearing。Whentheladsusedtoassembleintheirgregesinhall,Harryfoundhimselfaloneinthemidstofthatlittleflockofboys;theyraisedagreatlaughathimwhenhewassetontoreadLatin,whichhedidwiththeforeignpronunciationtaughttohimbyhisoldmaster,theJesuit,thanwhichheknewnoother。Mr。Bridge,thetutor,madehimtheobjectofclumsyjokes,inwhichhewasfondofindulging。Theyoungman'sspiritwaschafed,andhisvanitymortified;andhefoundhimself,forsometime,aslonelyinthisplaceaseverhehadbeenatCastlewood,whitherhelongedtoreturn。Hisbirthwasasourceofshametohim,andhefanciedahundredslightsandsneersfromyoungandold,who,nodoubt,hadtreatedhimbetterhadhemetthemhimselfmorefrankly。Andashelooksback,incalmerdays,uponthisperiodofhislife,whichhethoughtsounhappy,hecanseethathisownprideandvanitycausednosmallpartofthemortificationswhichheattributedtoother'sillwill。Theworlddealsgood—
naturedlywithgood—naturedpeople,andIneverknewasulkymisanthropistwhoquarrelledwithit,butitwashe,andnotit,thatwasinthewrong。TomTushergaveHarryplentyofgoodadviceonthissubject,forTomhadbothgoodsenseandgoodhumor;butMr。Harrychosetotreathisseniorwithagreatdealofsuperfluousdisdainandabsurdscorn,andwouldbynomeanspartfromhisdarlinginjuries,inwhich,verylikely,nomanbelievedbuthimself。AsforhonestDoctorBridge,thetutorfound,afterafewtrialsofwitwiththepupil,thattheyoungmanwasanuglysubjectforwit,andthatthelaughwasoftenturnedagainsthim。
Thisdidnotmaketutorandpupilanybetterfriends;buthad,sofar,anadvantageforEsmond,thatMr。Bridgewasinducedtoleavehimalone;andsolongashekepthischapels,anddidthecollegeexercisesrequiredofhim,BridgewascontentnottoseeHarry'sglumfaceinhisclass,andtoleavehimtoreadandsulkforhimselfinhisownchamber。
ApoemortwoinLatinandEnglish,whichwerepronouncedtohavesomemerit,andaLatinoration,(forMr。Esmondcouldwritethatlanguagebetterthanpronounceit,)gothimalittlereputationbothwiththeauthoritiesoftheUniversityandamongsttheyoungmen,withwhomhebegantopassformorethanhewasworth。Afewvictoriesovertheircommonenemy,Mr。Bridge,madetheminclinetowardshim,andlookuponhimasthechampionoftheirorderagainsttheseniors。Suchoftheladsashetookintohisconfidencefoundhimnotsogloomyandhaughtyashisappearanceledthemtobelieve;andDonDismallo,ashewascalled,becamepresentlyapersonofsomelittleimportanceinhiscollege,andwas,ashebelieves,setdownbytheseniorsthereasratheradangerouscharacter。
DonDismallowasastaunchyoungJacobite,liketherestofhisfamily;gavehimselfmanyabsurdairsofloyalty;usedtoinviteyoungfriendstoBurgundy,andgivetheKing'shealthonKingJames'sbirthday;woreblackonthedayofhisabdication;fastedontheanniversaryofKingWilliam'scoronation;andperformedathousandabsurdantics,ofwhichhesmilesnowtothink。
ThesefolliescausedmanyremonstrancesonTomTusher'spart,whowasalwaysafriendtothepowersthatbe,asEsmondwasalwaysinoppositiontothem。TomwasaWhig,whileEsmondwasaTory。Tomnevermissedalecture,andcappedtheproctorwiththeprofoundestofbows。NowonderhesighedoverHarry'sinsubordinatecourses,andwasangrywhentheotherslaughedathim。ButthatHarrywasknowntohavemyLordViscount'sprotection,Tomnodoubtwouldhavebrokenwithhimaltogether。ButhonestTomnevergaveupacomradeaslongashewasthefriendofagreatman。ThiswasnotoutofschemingonTom'spart,butanaturalinclinationtowardsthegreat。'Twasnohypocrisyinhimtoflatter,butthebentofhismind,whichwasalwaysperfectlygood—humored,obliging,andservile。
Harryhadveryliberalallowances,forhisdearmistressofCastlewoodnotonlyregularlysuppliedhim,buttheDowagerofChelseymadeherdonationannual,andreceivedEsmondatherhousenearLondoneveryChristmas;but,inspiteofthesebenefactions,Esmondwasconstantlypoor;whilst'twasawonderwithhowsmallastipendfromhisfatherTomTushercontrivedtomakeagoodfigure。
'TistruethatHarrybothspent,gave,andlenthismoneyveryfreely,whichThomasneverdid。IthinkhewaslikethefamousDukeofMarlboroughinthisinstance,who,gettingapresentoffiftypieces,whenayoungman,fromsomefoolishwomanwhofellinlovewithhisgoodlooks,showedthemoneytoCadoganinadrawerscoresofyearsafter,whereithadlaineversincehehadsoldhisbeardlesshonortoprocureit。IdonotmeantosaythatTomeverletouthisgoodlookssoprofitably,fornaturehadnotendowedhimwithanyparticularcharmsofperson,andheeverwasapatternofmoralbehavior,losingnoopportunityofgivingtheverybestadvicetohisyoungercomrade;withwhicharticle,todohimjustice,hepartedveryfreely。Notbutthathewasamerryfellow,too,inhisway;helovedajoke,ifbygoodfortuneheunderstoodit,andtookhissharegenerouslyofabottleifanotherpaidforit,andespeciallyiftherewasayounglordincompanytodrinkit。InthesecasestherewasnotaharderdrinkerintheUniversitythanMr。Tushercouldbe;anditwasedifyingtobeholdhim,freshshavedandwithsmugface,singingout"Amen!"atearlychapelinthemorning。Inhisreading,poorHarrypermittedhimselftogoa—gaddingafteralltheNineMuses,andsoverylikelyhadbutlittlefavorfromanyoneofthem;whereasTomTusher,whohadnomoreturnforpoetrythanaploughboy,nevertheless,byadoggedperseveranceandobsequiousnessincourtingthedivineCalliope,gothimselfaprize,andsomecreditintheUniversity,andafellowshipathiscollege,asarewardforhisscholarship。InthistimeofMr。Esmond'slife,hegotthelittlereadingwhichheevercouldboastof,andpassedagoodpartofhisdaysgreedilydevouringallthebooksonwhichhecouldlayhand。InthisdesultorywaytheworksofmostoftheEnglish,French,andItalianpoetscameunderhiseyes,andhehadasmatteringoftheSpanishtonguelikewise,besidestheancientlanguages,ofwhich,atleastofLatin,hewasatolerablemaster。
Then,aboutmidwayinhisUniversitycareer,hefelltoreadingfortheprofessiontowhichworldlyprudenceratherthaninclinationcalledhim,andwasperfectlybewilderedintheologicalcontroversy。Inthecourseofhisreading(whichwasneitherpursuedwiththatseriousnessorthatdevoutmindwhichsuchastudyrequires)theyouthfoundhimselfattheendofonemonthaPapist,andwasabouttoproclaimhisfaith;thenextmonthaProtestant,withChillingworth;andthethirdasceptic,withHobbesandBayle。WhereashonestTomTusherneverpermittedhismindtostrayoutoftheprescribedUniversitypath,acceptedtheThirty—nineArticleswithallhisheart,andwouldhavesignedandsworntoothernine—and—thirtywithentireobedience。Harry'swilfulnessinthismatter,anddisorderlythoughtsandconversation,soshockedandafflictedhissenior,thattheregrewupacoldnessandestrangementbetweenthem,sothattheybecamescarcemorethanmereacquaintances,fromhavingbeenintimatefriendswhentheycametocollegefirst。Politicsranhigh,too,attheUniversity;andhere,also,theyoungmenwereatvariance。
Tomprofessedhimself,albeitahigh—churchman,astrongKingWilliam's—man;whereasHarrybroughthisfamilyTorypoliticstocollegewithhim,towhichhemustaddadangerousadmirationforOliverCromwell,whoseside,orKingJames'sbyturns,heoftenchosetotakeinthedisputeswhichtheyounggentlemenusedtoholdineachother'srooms,wheretheydebatedonthestateofthenation,crownedanddeposedkings,andtoastedpastandpresentheroesandbeautiesinflagonsofcollegeale。
Thus,eitherfromthecircumstancesofhisbirth,orthenaturalmelancholyofhisdisposition,EsmondcametoliveverymuchbyhimselfduringhisstayattheUniversity,havingneitherambitionenoughtodistinguishhimselfinthecollegecareer,norcaringtominglewiththemerepleasuresandboyishfrolicsofthestudents,whowere,forthemostpart,twoorthreeyearsyoungerthanhe。
Hefanciedthatthegentlemenofthecommon—roomofhiscollegeslightedhimonaccountofhisbirth,andhencekeptalooffromtheirsociety。Itmaybethathemadetheillwill,whichheimaginedcamefromthem,byhisownbehavior,which,ashelooksbackonitinafterlife,henowseeswasmoroseandhaughty。Atanyrate,hewasastenderlygratefulforkindnessashewassusceptibleofslightandwrong;and,lonelyashewasgenerally,yethadoneortwoverywarmfriendshipsforhiscompanionsofthosedays。
OneofthesewasaqueergentlemanthatresidedintheUniversity,thoughhewasnomemberofit,andwastheprofessorofasciencescarcerecognizedinthecommoncourseofcollegeeducation。ThiswasaFrenchrefugee—officer,whohadbeendrivenoutofhisnativecountryatthetimeoftheProtestantpersecutionsthere,andwhocametoCambridge,wherehetaughtthescienceofthesmall—sword,andsetupasaloon—of—arms。ThoughhedeclaredhimselfaProtestant,'twassaidMr。MoreauwasaJesuitindisguise;indeed,hebroughtverystrongrecommendationstotheToryparty,whichwasprettystronginthatUniversity,andverylikelywasoneofthemanyagentswhomKingJameshadinthiscountry。Esmondfoundthisgentleman'sconversationverymuchmoreagreeableandtohistastethanthetalkofthecollegedivinesinthecommon—room;heneverweariedofMoreau'sstoriesofthewarsofTurenneandConde,inwhichhehadborneapart;andbeingfamiliarwiththeFrenchtonguefromhisyouth,andinaplacewherebutfewspokeit,hiscompanybecameveryagreeabletothebraveoldprofessorofarms,whosefavoritepupilhewas,andwhomadeMr。Esmondaverytolerableproficientinthenoblescienceofescrime。
AtthenexttermEsmondwastotakehisdegreeofBachelorofArts,andafterwards,inproperseason,toassumethecassockandbandswhichhisfondmistresswouldhavehimwear。TomTusherhimselfwasaparsonandafellowofhiscollegebythistime;andHarryfeltthathewouldverygladlycedehisrighttothelivingofCastlewoodtoTom,andthathisowncallingwasinnowaytothepulpit。Butashewasbound,beforeallthingsintheworld,tohisdearmistressathome,andknewthatarefusalonhispartwouldgrieveher,hedeterminedtogivehernohintofhisunwillingnesstotheclericaloffice:anditwasinthisunsatisfactorymoodofmindthathewenttospendthelastvacationheshouldhaveatCastlewoodbeforehetookorders。
CHAPTERXI。
ICOMEHOMEFORAHOLIDAYTOCASTLEWOOD,ANDFINDASKELETONINTHE
HOUSE。
Athisthirdlongvacation,EsmondcameasusualtoCastlewood,alwaysfeelinganeagerthrillofpleasurewhenhefoundhimselfoncemoreinthehousewherehehadpassedsomanyyears,andbeheldthekindfamiliareyesofhismistresslookinguponhim。
Sheandherchildren(outofwhosecompanyshescarceeversawhim)
cametogreethim。MissBeatrixwasgrownsotallthatHarrydidnotquiteknowwhetherhemightkissherorno;andsheblushedandheldbackwhenheofferedthatsalutation,thoughshetookit,andevencourtedit,whentheywerealone。Theyounglordwasshootinguptobelikehisgallantfatherinlook,thoughwithhismother'skindeyes:theladyofCastlewoodherselfseemedgrown,too,sinceHarrysawher——inherlookmorestately,inherpersonfuller,inherfacestillasevermosttenderandfriendly,agreaterairofcommandanddecisionthanhadappearedinthatguilelesssweetcountenancewhichHarryrememberedsogratefully。Thetoneofhervoicewassomuchdeeperandsadderwhenshespokeandwelcomedhim,thatitquitestartledEsmond,wholookedupathersurprisedasshespoke,whenshewithdrewhereyesfromhim;nordidsheeverlookathimafterwardswhenhisowneyesweregazinguponher。A
somethinghintingatgriefandsecret,andfillinghismindwithalarmundefinable,seemedtospeakwiththatlowthrillingvoiceofhers,andlookoutofthoseclearsadeyes。HergreetingtoEsmondwassocoldthatitalmostpainedthelad,(whowouldhavelikedtofallonhisknees,andkisstheskirtofherrobe,sofondandardentwashisrespectandregardforher,)andhefalteredinansweringthequestionswhichshe,hesitatingonherside,begantoputtohim。WashehappyatCambridge?Didhestudytoohard?
Shehopednot。Hehadgrownverytall,andlookedverywell。
"Hehasgotamoustache!"criesoutMasterEsmond。
"WhydoeshenotwearaperukelikemyLordMohun?"askedMissBeatrix。"Mylordsaysthatnobodywearstheirownhair。"
"Ibelieveyouwillhavetooccupyyouroldchamber,"saysmylady。
"Ihopethehousekeeperhasgotitready。"
"Why,mamma,youhavebeentheretentimesthesethreedaysyourself!"exclaimsFrank。
"Andshecutsomeflowerswhichyouplantedinmygarden——doyouremember,eversomanyyearsago?whenIwasquitealittlegirl,"
criesoutMissBeatrix,ontiptoe。"Andmammaputtheminyourwindow。"
"Irememberwhenyougrewwellafteryouwereillthatyouusedtolikeroses,"saidthelady,blushinglikeoneofthem。TheyallconductedHarryEsmondtohischamber;thechildrenrunningbefore,Harrywalkingbyhismistresshand—in—hand。
Theoldroomhadbeenornamentedandbeautifiednotalittletoreceivehim。Theflowerswereinthewindowinachinavase;andtherewasafinenewcounterpaneonthebed,whichchatterboxBeatrixsaidmammahadmadetoo。Afirewascracklingonthehearth,althoughitwasJune。Myladythoughttheroomwantedwarming;everythingwasdonetomakehimhappyandwelcome:"Andyouarenottobeapageanylonger,butagentlemanandkinsman,andtowalkwithpapaandmamma,"saidthechildren。Andassoonashisdearmistressandchildrenhadlefthimtohimself,itwaswithaheartoverflowingwithloveandgratefulnessthatheflunghimselfdownonhiskneesbythesideofthelittlebed,andaskedablessinguponthosewhoweresokindtohim。
Thechildren,whoarealwayshousetell—tales,soonmadehimacquaintedwiththelittlehistoryofthehouseandfamily。PapahadbeentoLondontwice。Papaoftenwentawaynow。PapahadtakenBeatrixtoWestlands,whereshewastallerthanSirGeorgeHarper'sseconddaughter,thoughshewastwoyearsolder。PapahadtakenBeatrixandFrankbothtoBellminster,whereFrankhadgotthebetterofLordBellminster'ssoninaboxing—match——mylord,laughing,toldHarryafterwards。Manygentlemencametostopwithpapa,andpapahadgottenanewgamefromLondon,aFrenchgame,calledabilliard——thattheFrenchkingplayeditverywell:andtheDowagerLadyCastlewoodhadsentMissBeatrixapresent;andpapahadgottenanewchaise,withtwolittlehorses,whichhedrovehimself,besidethecoach,whichmammawentin;andDr。
Tusherwasacrossoldplague,andtheydidnotliketolearnfromhimatall;andpapadidnotcareaboutthemlearning,andlaughedwhentheywereattheirbooks,butmammalikedthemtolearn,andtaughtthem;and"Idon'tthinkpapaisfondofmamma,"saidMissBeatrix,withhergreateyes。ShehadcomequitecloseuptoHarryEsmondbythetimethisprattletookplace,andwasonhisknee,andhadexaminedallthepointsofhisdress,andallthegoodorbadfeaturesofhishomelyface。
"Youshouldn'tsaythatpapaisnotfondofmamma,"saidtheboy,atthisconfession。"Mammaneversaidso;andmammaforbadeyoutosayit,MissBeatrix。"
'Twasthis,nodoubt,thataccountedforthesadnessinLadyCastlewood'seyes,andtheplaintivevibrationsofhervoice。Whodoesnotknowofeyes,lightedbyloveonce,wheretheflameshinesnomore?——oflampsextinguished,onceproperlytrimmedandtended?
Everymanhassuchinhishouse。Suchmementoesmakeoursplendidestchamberslookblankandsad;suchfacesseeninadaycastagloomuponoursunshine。Sooathsmutuallysworn,andinvocationsofheaven,andpriestlyceremonies,andfondbelief,andlove,sofondandfaithfulthatitneverdoubtedbutthatitshouldliveforever,areallofnoavailtowardsmakingloveeternal:itdies,inspiteofthebannsandthepriest;andIhaveoftenthoughtthereshouldbeavisitationofthesickforit,andafuneralservice,andanextremeunction,andanabiinpace。Ithasitscourse,likeallmortalthings——itsbeginning,progress,anddecay。Itbudsanditbloomsoutintosunshine,anditwithersandends。StrephonandChloelanguishapart;joininarapture:
andpresentlyyouhearthatChloeiscrying,andStrephonhasbrokenhiscrookacrossherback。Canyoumenditsoastoshownomarksofrupture?NotallthepriestsofHymen,notalltheincantationstothegods,canmakeitwhole!