首页 >出版文学> Jane Eyre>第16章

第16章

  “Isthereimmediatedanger?”murmuredMr。Mason。
  “Pooh!No—amerescratch。Don’tbesoovercome,man:bearup!I’llfetchasurgeonforyounow,myself:you’llbeabletoberemovedbymorning,Ihope。Jane,”hecontinued。
  “Sir?”
  “Ishallhavetoleaveyouinthisroomwiththisgentleman,foranhour,orperhapstwohours:youwillspongethebloodasIdowhenitreturns:ifhefeelsfaint,youwillputtheglassofwateronthatstandtohislips,andyoursaltstohisnose。Youwillnotspeaktohimonanypretext—and—Richard,itwillbeattheperilofyourlifeifyouspeaktoher:openyourlips—agitateyourself—andI’llnotanswerfortheconsequences。”
  Againthepoormangroaned;helookedasifhedarednotmove;fear,eitherofdeathorofsomethingelse,appearedalmosttoparalysehim。Mr。Rochesterputthenowbloodyspongeintomyhand,andIproceededtouseitashehaddone。Hewatchedmeasecond,thensaying,“Remember!—Noconversation,”helefttheroom。Iexperiencedastrangefeelingasthekeygratedinthelock,andthesoundofhisretreatingstepceasedtobeheard。
  HerethenIwasinthethirdstorey,fastenedintooneofitsmysticcells;nightaroundme;apaleandbloodyspectacleundermyeyesandhands;amurderesshardlyseparatedfrommebyasingledoor:yes—thatwasappalling—therestIcouldbear;butIshudderedatthethoughtofGracePooleburstingoutuponme。
  Imustkeeptomypost,however。Imustwatchthisghastlycountenance—theseblue,stilllipsforbiddentounclose—theseeyesnowshut,nowopening,nowwanderingthroughtheroom,nowfixingonme,andeverglazedwiththedulnessofhorror。Imustdipmyhandagainandagaininthebasinofbloodandwater,andwipeawaythetricklinggore。Imustseethelightoftheunsnuffedcandlewaneonmyemployment;theshadowsdarkenonthewrought,antiquetapestryroundme,andgrowblackunderthehangingsofthevastoldbed,andquiverstrangelyoverthedoorsofagreatcabinetopposite—whosefront,dividedintotwelvepanels,bore,ingrimdesign,theheadsofthetwelveapostles,eachenclosedinitsseparatepanelasinaframe;whileabovethematthetoproseaneboncrucifixandadyingChrist。
  Accordingastheshiftingobscurityandflickeringgleamhoveredhereorglancedthere,itwasnowthebeardedphysician,Luke,thatbenthisbrow;nowSt。John’slonghairthatwaved;andanonthedevilishfaceofJudas,thatgrewoutofthepanel,andseemedgatheringlifeandthreateningarevelationofthearch—traitor—ofSatanhimself—inhissubordinate’sform。
  Amidstallthis,Ihadtolistenaswellaswatch:tolistenforthemovementsofthewildbeastorthefiendinyondersideden。ButsinceMr。Rochester’svisititseemedspellbound:allthenightIheardbutthreesoundsatthreelongintervals,—astepcreak,amomentaryrenewalofthesnarling,caninenoise,andadeephumangroan。
  Thenmyownthoughtsworriedme。Whatcrimewasthisthatlivedincarnateinthissequesteredmansion,andcouldneitherbeexpellednorsubduedbytheowner?—whatmystery,thatbrokeoutnowinfireandnowinblood,atthedeadesthoursofnight?Whatcreaturewasit,that,maskedinanordinarywoman’sfaceandshape,utteredthevoice,nowofamockingdemon,andanonofacarrion—seekingbirdofprey?
  AndthismanIbentover—thiscommonplace,quietstranger—howhadhebecomeinvolvedinthewebofhorror?andwhyhadtheFuryflownathim?Whatmadehimseekthisquarterofthehouseatanuntimelyseason,whenheshouldhavebeenasleepinbed?IhadheardMr。Rochesterassignhimanapartmentbelow—whatbroughthimhere!Andwhy,now,washesotameundertheviolenceortreacherydonehim?WhydidhesoquietlysubmittotheconcealmentMr。Rochesterenforced?WhydidMr。Rochesterenforcethisconcealment?Hisguesthadbeenoutraged,hisownlifeonaformeroccasionhadbeenhideouslyplottedagainst;andbothattemptshesmotheredinsecrecyandsankinoblivion!ly,IsawMr。MasonwassubmissivetoMr。Rochester;thattheimpetuouswillofthelatterheldcompleteswayovertheinertnessoftheformer:thefewwordswhichhadpassedbetweenthemassuredmeofthis。Itwasevidentthatintheirformerintercourse,thepassivedispositionoftheonehadbeenhabituallyinfluencedbytheactiveenergyoftheother:whencethenhadarisenMr。Rochester’sdismaywhenheheardofMr。Mason’sarrival?Whyhadthemerenameofthisunresistingindividual—whomhiswordnowsufficedtocontrollikeachild—fallenonhim,afewhourssince,asathunderboltmightfallonanoak?
  Oh!Icouldnotforgethislookandhispalenesswhenhewhispered:“Jane,Ihavegotablow—Ihavegotablow,Jane。”Icouldnotforgethowthearmhadtrembledwhichherestedonmyshoulder:anditwasnolightmatterwhichcouldthusbowtheresolutespiritandthrillthevigorousframeofFairfaxRochester。
  “Whenwillhecome?Whenwillhecome?”Icriedinwardly,asthenightlingeredandlingered—asmybleedingpatientdrooped,moaned,sickened:andneitherdaynoraidarrived。Ihad,againandagain,heldthewatertoMason’swhitelips;againandagainofferedhimthestimulatingsalts:myeffortsseemedineffectual:eitherbodilyormentalsuffering,orlossofblood,orallthreecombined,werefastprostratinghisstrength。Hemoanedso,andlookedsoweak,wild,andlost,Ifearedhewasdying;antImightnotevenspeaktohim。
  Thecandle,wastedatlast,wentout;asitexpired,Iperceivedstreaksofgreylightedgingthewindowcurtains:dawnwasthenapproaching。PresentlyIheardPilotbarkfarbelow,outofhisdistantkennelinthecourtyard:hoperevived。Norwasitunwarranted:infiveminutesmorethegratingkey,theyieldinglock,warnedmemywatchwasrelieved。Itcouldnothavelastedmorethantwohours:manyaweekhasseemedshorter。
  Mr。Rochesterentered,andwithhimthesurgeonhehadbeentofetch。
  “Now,Carter,beonthealert,”hesaidtothislast:“Igiveyoubuthalf—an—hourfordressingthewound,fasteningthebandages,gettingthepatientdownstairsandall。”
  “Butishefittomove,sir?”
  “Nodoubtofit;itisnothingserious;heisnervous,hisspiritsmustbekeptup。Come,settowork。”
  Mr。Rochesterdrewbackthethickcurtain,drewupthehollandblind,letinallthedaylighthecould;andIwassurprisedandcheeredtoseehowfardawnwasadvanced:whatrosystreakswerebeginningtobrightentheeast。ThenheapproachedMason,whomthesurgeonwasalreadyhandling。
  “Now,mygoodfellow,howareyou?”heasked。
  “She’sdoneforme,Ifear,”wasthefaintreply。
  “Notawhit!—courage!Thisdayfortnightyou’llhardlybeapintheworseofit:you’velostalittleblood;that’sallCarter,assurehimthere’snodanger。”
  “Icandothatconscientiously,”saidCarter,whohadnowundonethebandages;“onlyIwishIcouldhavegotheresooner:hewouldnothavebledsomuch—buthowisthis?Thefleshontheshoulderistornaswellascut。Thiswoundwasnotdonewithaknife:therehavebeenteethhere!”
  “Shebitme,”hemurmured。“Sheworriedmelikeatigress,whenRochestergottheknifefromher。”
  “Youshouldnothaveyielded:youshouldhavegrappledwithheratonce,”saidMr。Rochester。
  “Butundersuchcircumstances,whatcouldonedo?”returnedMason。“Oh,itwasfrightful!”headded,shuddering。“AndIdidnotexpectit:shelookedsoquietatfirst。”
  “Iwarnedyou,”washisfriend’sanswer;“Isaid—beonyourguardwhenyougonearher。Besides,youmighthavewaitedtillto—morrow,andhadmewithyou:itwasmerefollytoattempttheinterviewto—night,andalone。”
  “IthoughtIcouldhavedonesomegood。”
  “Youthought!youthought!Yes,itmakesmeimpatienttohearyou:but,however,youhavesuffered,andarelikelytosufferenoughfornottakingmyadvice;soI’llsaynomore。Carter—hurry!—hurry!Thesunwillsoonrise,andImusthavehimoff。”
  “Directly,sir;theshoulderisjustbandaged。Imustlooktothisotherwoundinthearm:shehashadherteethheretoo,Ithink。”
  “Shesuckedtheblood:shesaidshe’ddrainmyheart,”saidMason。
  IsawMr。Rochestershudder:asingularlymarkedexpressionofdisgust,horror,hatred,warpedhiscountenancealmosttodistortion;butheonlysaid—
  “Come,besilent,Richard,andnevermindhergibberish:don’trepeatit。”
  “IwishIcouldforgetit,”wastheanswer。
  “Youwillwhenyouareoutofthecountry:whenyougetbacktoSpanishTown,youmaythinkofherasdeadandburied—orrather,youneednotthinkofheratall。”
  “Impossibletoforgetthisnight!”
  “Itisnotimpossible:havesomeenergy,man。Youthoughtyouwereasdeadasaherringtwohourssince,andyouareallaliveandtalkingnow。There!—Carterhasdonewithyouornearlyso;I’llmakeyoudecentinatrice。Jane”(heturnedtomeforthefirsttimesincehisre—entrance),“takethiskey:godownintomybedroom,andwalkstraightforwardintomydressing—room:openthetopdrawerofthewardrobeandtakeoutacleanshirtandneck—handkerchief:bringthemhere;andbenimble。”
  Iwent;soughttherepositoryhehadmentioned,foundthearticlesnamed,andreturnedwiththem。
  “Now,”saidhe,“gototheothersideofthebedwhileIorderhistoilet;butdon’tleavetheroom:youmaybewantedagain。”
  Iretiredasdirected。
  “Wasanybodystirringbelowwhenyouwentdown,Jane?”inquiredMr。Rochesterpresently。
  “No,sir;allwasverystill。”
  “Weshallgetyouoffcannily,Dick:anditwillbebetter,bothforyoursake,andforthatofthepoorcreatureinyonder。Ihavestrivenlongtoavoidexposure,andIshouldnotlikeittocomeatlast。Here,Carter,helphimonwithhiswaist—coat。Wheredidyouleaveyourfurredcloak?Youcan’ttravelamilewithoutthat,Iknow,inthisdamnedcoldclimate。Inyourroom?—Jane,rundowntoMr。Mason’sroom,—theonenextmine,—andfetchacloakyouwillseethere。”
  AgainIran,andagainreturned,bearinganimmensemantlelinedandedgedwithfur。
  “Now,I’veanothererrandforyou,”saidmyuntiringmaster;“youmustawaytomyroomagain。Whatamercyyouareshodwithvelvet,Jane!—aclod—hoppingmessengerwouldneverdoatthisjuncture。Youmustopenthemiddledrawerofmytoilet—tableandtakeoutalittlephialandalittleglassyouwillfindthere,—quick!”
  Iflewthitherandback,bringingthedesiredvessels。
  “That’swell!Now,doctor,Ishalltakethelibertyofadministeringadosemyself,onmyownresponsibility。IgotthiscordialatRome,ofanItaliancharlatan—afellowyouwouldhavekicked,Carter。Itisnotathingtobeusedindiscriminately,butitisgooduponoccasion:asnow,forinstance。Jane,alittlewater。”
  Heheldoutthetinyglass,andIhalffilleditfromthewater—bottleonthewashstand。
  “Thatwilldo;—nowwetthelipofthephial。”
  Ididso;hemeasuredtwelvedropsofacrimsonliquid,andpresentedittoMason。
  “Drink,Richard:itwillgiveyoutheheartyoulack,foranhourorso。”
  “Butwillithurtme?—isitinflammatory?”
  “Drink!drink!drink!”
  Mr。Masonobeyed,becauseitwasevidentlyuselesstoresist。Hewasdressednow:hestilllookedpale,buthewasnolongergoryandsullied。Mr。Rochesterlethimsitthreeminutesafterhehadswallowedtheliquid;hethentookhisarm—
  “NowIamsureyoucangetonyourfeet,”hesaid—“try。”
  Thepatientrose。
  “Carter,takehimundertheothershoulder。Beofgoodcheer,Richard;stepout—that’sit!”
  “Idofeelbetter,”remarkedMr。Mason。
  “Iamsureyoudo。Now,Jane,triponbeforeusawaytothebackstairs;unbolttheside—passagedoor,andtellthedriverofthepost—chaiseyouwillseeintheyard—orjustoutside,forItoldhimnottodrivehisrattlingwheelsoverthepavement—tobeready;wearecoming:and,Jane,ifanyoneisabout,cometothefootofthestairsandhem。”
  Itwasbythistimehalf—pastfive,andthesunwasonthepointofrising;butIfoundthekitchenstilldarkandsilent。Theside—passagedoorwasfastened;Iopeneditwithaslittlenoiseaspossible:alltheyardwasquiet;butthegatesstoodwideopen,andtherewasapost—chaise,withhorsesreadyharnessed,anddriverseatedonthebox,stationedoutside。Iapproachedhim,andsaidthegentlemenwerecoming;henodded:thenIlookedcarefullyroundandlistened。Thestillnessofearlymorningslumberedeverywhere;thecurtainswereyetdrawnovertheservants’chamberwindows;littlebirdswerejusttwitteringintheblossom—blanchedorchardtrees,whoseboughsdroopedlikewhitegarlandsoverthewallenclosingonesideoftheyard;thecarriagehorsesstampedfromtimetotimeintheirclosedstables:allelsewasstill。
  Thegentlemennowappeared。Mason,supportedbyMr。Rochesterandthesurgeon,seemedtowalkwithtolerableease:theyassistedhimintothechaise;Carterfollowed。
  “Takecareofhim,”saidMr。Rochestertothelatter,“andkeephimatyourhousetillheisquitewell:Ishallrideoverinadayortwotoseehowhegetson。Richard,howisitwithyou?”
  “Thefreshairrevivesme,Fairfax。”
  “Leavethewindowopenonhisside,Carter;thereisnowind—good—bye,Dick。”
  “Fairfax—”
  “Wellwhatisit?”
  “Letherbetakencareof;letherbetreatedastenderlyasmaybe:lether—”hestoppedandburstintotears。
  “Idomybest;andhavedoneit,andwilldoit,”wastheanswer:heshutupthechaisedoor,andthevehicledroveaway。
  “YetwouldtoGodtherewasanendofallthis!”addedMr。Rochester,asheclosedandbarredtheheavyyard—gates。
  Thisdone,hemovedwithslowstepandabstractedairtowardsadoorinthewallborderingtheorchard。I,supposinghehaddonewithme,preparedtoreturntothehouse;again,however,Iheardhimcall“Jane!”Hehadopenedfeelportalandstoodatit,waitingforme。
  “Comewherethereissomefreshness,forafewmoments,”hesaid;“thathouseisameredungeon:don’tyoufeelitso?”
  “Itseemstomeasplendidmansion,sir。”
  “Theglamourofinexperienceisoveryoureyes,”heanswered;“andyouseeitthroughacharmedmedium:youcannotdiscernthatthegildingisslimeandthesilkdraperiescobwebs;thatthemarbleissordidslate,andthepolishedwoodsmererefusechipsandscalybark。Nowhere”(hepointedtotheleafyenclosurewehadentered)“allisreal,sweet,andpure。”
  Hestrayeddownawalkedgedwithbox,withappletrees,peartrees,andcherrytreesononeside,andaborderontheotherfullofallsortsofold—fashionedflowers,stocks,sweet—williams,primroses,pansies,mingledwithsouthernwood,sweet—briar,andvariousfragrantherbs。TheywerefreshnowasasuccessionofAprilshowersandgleams,followedbyalovelyspringmorning,couldmakethem:thesunwasjustenteringthedappledeast,andhislightilluminedthewreathedanddewyorchardtreesandshonedownthequietwalksunderthem。
  “Jane,willyouhaveaflower?”
  Hegatheredahalf—blownrose,thefirstonthebush,andofferedittome。
  “Thankyou,sir。”
  “Doyoulikethissunrise,Jane?Thatskywithitshighandlightcloudswhicharesuretomeltawayasthedaywaxeswarm—thisplacidandbalmlyatmosphere?”
  “Ido,verymuch。”
  “Youhavepassedastrangenight,Jane。”
  “Yes,sir。”
  “Andithasmadeyoulookpale—wereyouafraidwhenIleftyoualonewithMason?”
  “Iwasafraidofsomeonecomingoutoftheinnerroom。”
  “ButIhadfastenedthedoor—Ihadthekeyinmypocket:IshouldhavebeenacarelessshepherdifIhadleftalamb—mypetlamb—sonearawolf’sden,unguarded:youweresafe。”
  “WillGracePooleliveherestill,sir?”
  “Ohyes!don’ttroubleyourheadabouther—putthethingoutofyourthoughts。”
  “Yetitseemstomeyourlifeishardlysecurewhileshestays。”
  “Neverfear—Iwilltakecareofmyself。”
  “Isthedangeryouapprehendedlastnightgonebynow,sir?”
  “IcannotvouchforthattillMasonisoutofEngland:noreventhen。Tolive,forme,Jane,istostandonacrater—crustwhichmaycrackandspuefireanyday。”
  “ButMr。Masonseemsamaneasilyled。Yourinfluence,sir,isevidentlypotentwithhim:hewillneversetyouatdefianceorwilfullyinjureyou。”
  “Oh,no!Masonwillnotdefyme;nor,knowingit,willhehurtme—but,unintentionally,hemightinamoment,byonecarelessword,depriveme,ifnotoflife,yetforeverofhappiness。”
  “Tellhimtobecautious,sir:lethimknowwhatyoufear,andshowhimhowtoavertthedanger。”
  Helaughedsardonically,hastilytookmyhand,andashastilythrewitfromhim。
  “IfIcoulddothat,simpleton,wherewouldthedangerbe?Annihilatedinamoment。EversinceIhaveknownMason,Ihaveonlyhadtosaytohim‘Dothat,’andthethinghasbeendone。ButIcannotgivehimordersinthiscase:Icannotsay‘Bewareofharmingme,Richard;’foritisimperativethatIshouldkeephimignorantthatharmtomeispossible。Nowyoulookpuzzled;andIwillpuzzleyoufurther。Youaremylittlefriend,areyounot?”
  “Iliketoserveyou,sir,andtoobeyyouinallthatisright。”
  “Precisely:Iseeyoudo。Iseegenuinecontentmentinyourgaitandmien,youreyeandface,whenyouarehelpingmeandpleasingme—workingforme,andwithme,in,asyoucharacteristicallysay,‘allthatisright:’forifIbidyoudowhatyouthoughtwrong,therewouldbenolight—footedrunning,noneat—handedalacrity,nolivelyglanceandanimatedcomplexion。Myfriendwouldthenturntome,quietandpale,andwouldsay,‘No,sir;thatisimpossible:Icannotdoit,becauseitiswrong;’andwouldbecomeimmutableasafixedstar。Well,youtoohavepoweroverme,andmayinjureme:yetIdarenotshowyouwhereIamvulnerable,lest,faithfulandfriendlyasyouare,youshouldtransfixmeatonce。”
  “IfyouhavenomoretofearfromMr。Masonthanyouhavefromme,sir,youareverysafe。”
  “Godgrantitmaybeso!Here,Jane,isanarbour;sitdown。”
  Thearbourwasanarchinthewall,linedwithivy;itcontainedarusticseat。Mr。Rochestertookit,leavingroom,however,forme:butIstoodbeforehim。
  “Sit,”hesaid;“thebenchislongenoughfortwo。Youdon’thesitatetotakeaplaceatmyside,doyou?Isthatwrong,Jane?”
  Iansweredhimbyassumingit:torefusewould,Ifelt,havebeenunwise。
  “Now,mylittlefriend,whilethesundrinksthedew—whilealltheflowersinthisoldgardenawakeandexpand,andthebirdsfetchtheiryoungones’breakfastoutoftheThornfield,andtheearlybeesdotheirfirstspellofwork—I’llputacasetoyou,whichyoumustendeavourtosupposeyourown:butfirst,lookatme,andtellmeyouareatease,andnotfearingthatIerrindetainingyou,orthatyouerrinstaying。”
  “No,sir;Iamcontent。”
  “Wellthen,Jane,calltoaidyourfancy:—supposeyouwerenolongeragirlwellrearedanddisciplined,butawildboyindulgedfromchildhoodupwards;imagineyourselfinaremoteforeignland;conceivethatyoutherecommitacapitalerror,nomatterofwhatnatureorfromwhatmotives,butonewhoseconsequencesmustfollowyouthroughlifeandtaintallyourexistence。Mind,Idon’tsayacrime;Iamnotspeakingofsheddingofbloodoranyotherguiltyact,whichmightmaketheperpetratoramenabletothelaw:mywordiserror。Theresultsofwhatyouhavedonebecomeintimetoyouutterlyinsupportable;youtakemeasurestoobtainrelief:unusualmeasures,butneitherunlawfulnorculpable。Stillyouaremiserable;forhopehasquittedyouontheveryconfinesoflife:yoursunatnoondarkensinaneclipse,whichyoufeelwillnotleaveittillthetimeofsetting。Bitterandbaseassociationshavebecomethesolefoodofyourmemory:youwanderhereandthere,seekingrestinexile:happinessinpleasure—Imeaninheartless,sensualpleasure—suchasdullsintellectandblightsfeeling。Heart—wearyandsoul—withered,youcomehomeafteryearsofvoluntarybanishment:youmakeanewacquaintance—howorwherenomatter:youfindinthisstrangermuchofthegoodandbrightqualitieswhichyouhavesoughtfortwentyyears,andneverbeforeencountered;andtheyareallfresh,healthy,withoutsoilandwithouttaint。Suchsocietyrevives,regenerates:youfeelbetterdayscomeback—higherwishes,purerfeelings;youdesiretorecommenceyourlife,andtospendwhatremainstoyouofdaysinawaymoreworthyofanimmortalbeing。Toattainthisend,areyoujustifiedinoverleapinganobstacleofcustom—amereconventionalimpedimentwhichneitheryourconsciencesanctifiesnoryourjudgmentapproves?”
  Hepausedforananswer:andwhatwasItosay?Oh,forsomegoodspirittosuggestajudiciousandsatisfactoryresponse!Vainaspiration!Thewestwindwhisperedintheivyroundme;butnogentleArielborroweditsbreathasamediumofspeech:thebirdssanginthetree—tops;buttheirsong,howeversweet,wasinarticulate。
  AgainMr。Rochesterpropoundedhisquery:
  “Isthewanderingandsinful,butnowrest—seekingandrepentant,manjustifiedindaringtheworld’sopinion,inordertoattachtohimforeverthisgentle,gracious,genialstranger,therebysecuringhisownpeaceofmindandregenerationoflife?”
  “Sir,”Ianswered,“awanderer’sreposeorasinner’sreformationshouldneverdependonafellow—creature。Menandwomendie;philosophersfalterinwisdom,andChristiansingoodness:ifanyoneyouknowhassufferedanderred,lethimlookhigherthanhisequalsforstrengthtoamendandsolacetoheal。”
  “Buttheinstrument—theinstrument!God,whodoesthework,ordainstheinstrument。Ihavemyself—Itellityouwithoutparable—beenaworldly,dissipated,restlessman;andIbelieveIhavefoundtheinstrumentformycurein—”
  Hepaused:thebirdswentoncarolling,theleaveslightlyrustling。Ialmostwonderedtheydidnotchecktheirsongsandwhisperstocatchthesuspendedrevelation;buttheywouldhavehadtowaitmanyminutes—solongwasthesilenceprotracted。AtlastIlookedupatthetardyspeaker:hewaslookingeagerlyatme。
  “Littlefriend,”saidhe,inquiteachangedtone—whilehisfacechangedtoo,losingallitssoftnessandgravity,andbecomingharshandsarcastic—“youhavenoticedmytenderpenchantforMissIngram:don’tyouthinkifImarriedhershewouldregeneratemewithavengeance?”
  Hegotupinstantly,wentquitetotheotherendofthewalk,andwhenhecamebackhewashummingatune。
  “Jane,Jane,”saidhe,stoppingbeforeme,“youarequitepalewithyourvigils:don’tyoucursemefordisturbingyourrest?”
  “Curseyou?No,sir。”
  “Shakehandsinconfirmationoftheword。Whatcoldfingers!TheywerewarmerlastnightwhenItouchedthematthedoorofthemysteriouschamber。Jane,whenwillyouwatchwithmeagain?”
  “WheneverIcanbeuseful,sir。”
  “Forinstance,thenightbeforeIammarried!IamsureIshallnotbeabletosleep。Willyoupromisetositupwithmetobearmecompany?ToyouIcantalkofmylovelyone:fornowyouhaveseenherandknowher。”
  “Yes,sir。”
  “She’sarareone,isshenot,Jane?”
  “Yes,sir。”
  “Astrapper—arealstrapper,Jane:big,brown,andbuxom;withhairjustsuchastheladiesofCarthagemusthavehad。Blessme!there’sDentandLynninthestables!Goinbytheshrubbery,throughthatwicket。”
  AsIwentoneway,hewentanother,andIheardhimintheyard,sayingcheerfully—
  “Masongotthestartofyouallthismorning;hewasgonebeforesunrise:Iroseatfourtoseehimoff。”
  Chapter21
  Presentimentsarestrangethings!andsoaresympathies;andsoaresigns;andthethreecombinedmakeonemysterytowhichhumanityhasnotyetfoundthekey。Ineverlaughedatpresentimentsinmylife,becauseIhavehadstrangeonesofmyown。Sympathies,Ibelieve,exist(forinstance,betweenfar—distant,long—absent,whollyestrangedrelativesasserting,notwithstandingtheiralienation,theunityofthesourcetowhicheachtraceshisorigin)whoseworkingsbafflemortalcomprehension。Andsigns,foraughtweknow,maybebutthesympathiesofNaturewithman。
  WhenIwasalittlegirl,onlysixyearsold,IonenightheardBessieLeavensaytoMarthaAbbotthatshehadbeendreamingaboutalittlechild;andthattodreamofchildrenwasasuresignoftrouble,eithertoone’sselforone’skin。Thesayingmighthavewornoutofmymemory,hadnotacircumstanceimmediatelyfollowedwhichservedindeliblytofixitthere。ThenextdayBessiewassentforhometothedeathbedofherlittlesister。
  OflateIhadoftenrecalledthissayingandthisincident;forduringthepastweekscarcelyanighthadgoneovermycouchthathadnotbroughtwithitadreamofaninfant,whichIsometimeshushedinmyarms,sometimesdandledonmyknee,sometimeswatchedplayingwithdaisiesonalawn,oragain,dabblingitshandsinrunningwater。Itwasawailingchildthisnight,andalaughingonethenext:nowitnestledclosetome,andnowitranfromme;butwhatevermoodtheapparitionevinced,whateveraspectitwore,itfailednotforsevensuccessivenightstomeetmethemomentIenteredthelandofslumber。
  Ididnotlikethisiterationofoneidea—thisstrangerecurrenceofoneimage,andIgrewnervousasbedtimeapproachedandthehourofthevisiondrewnear。Itwasfromcompanionshipwiththisbaby—phantomIhadbeenrousedonthatmoonlightnightwhenIheardthecry;anditwasontheafternoonofthedayfollowingIwassummoneddownstairsbyamessagethatsomeonewantedmeinMrs。Fairfax’sroom。Onrepairingthither,Ifoundamanwaitingforme,havingtheappearanceofagentleman’sservant:hewasdressedindeepmourning,andthehatheheldinhishandwassurroundedwithacrapeband。
  “Idaresayyouhardlyrememberme,Miss,”hesaid,risingasIentered;“butmynameisLeaven:IlivedcoachmanwithMrs。ReedwhenyouwereatGateshead,eightornineyearssince,andIlivetherestill。”
  “Oh,Robert!howdoyoudo?Irememberyouverywell:youusedtogivemearidesometimesonMissGeorgiana’sbaypony。AndhowisBessie?YouaremarriedtoBessie?”
  “Yes,Miss:mywifeisveryhearty,thankyou;shebroughtmeanotherlittleoneabouttwomonthssince—wehavethreenow—andbothmotherandchildarethriving。”
  “Andarethefamilywellatthehouse,Robert?”
  “IamsorryIcan’tgiveyoubetternewsofthem,Miss:theyareverybadlyatpresent—ingreattrouble。”
  “Ihopenooneisdead,”Isaid,glancingathisblackdress。Hetoolookeddownatthecraperoundhishatandreplied—
  “Mr。Johndiedyesterdaywasaweek,athischambersinLondon。”
  “Mr。John?”
  “Yes。”
  “Andhowdoeshismotherbearit?”
  “Why,yousee,MissEyre,itisnotacommonmishap:hislifehasbeenverywild:theselastthreeyearshegavehimselfuptostrangeways,andhisdeathwasshocking。”
  “IheardfromBessiehewasnotdoingwell。”
  “Doingwell!Hecouldnotdoworse:heruinedhishealthandhisestateamongsttheworstmenandtheworstwomen。Hegotintodebtandintojail:hismotherhelpedhimouttwice,butassoonashewasfreehereturnedtohisoldcompanionsandhabits。Hisheadwasnotstrong:theknaveshelivedamongstfooledhimbeyondanythingIeverheard。HecamedowntoGatesheadaboutthreeweeksagoandwantedmissistogiveupalltohim。Missisrefused:hermeanshavelongbeenmuchreducedbyhisextravagance;sohewentbackagain,andthenextnewswasthathewasdead。Howhedied,Godknows!—theysayhekilledhimself。”
  Iwassilent:thethingswerefrightful。RobertLeavenresumed—
  “Missishadbeenoutofhealthherselfforsometime:shehadgotverystout,butwasnotstrongwithit;andthelossofmoneyandfearofpovertywerequitebreakingherdown。TheinformationaboutMr。John’sdeathandthemannerofitcametoosuddenly:itbroughtonastroke。Shewasthreedayswithoutspeaking;butlastTuesdaysheseemedratherbetter:sheappearedasifshewantedtosaysomething,andkeptmakingsignstomywifeandmumbling。Itwasonlyyesterdaymorning,however,thatBessieunderstoodshewaspronouncingyourname;andatlastshemadeoutthewords,‘BringJane—fetchJaneEyre:Iwanttospeaktoher。’Bessieisnotsurewhethersheisinherrightmind,ormeansanythingbythewords;butshetoldMissReedandMissGeorgiana,andadvisedthemtosendforyou。Theyoungladiesputitoffatfirst;buttheirmothergrewsorestless,andsaid,‘Jane,Jane,’somanytimes,thatatlasttheyconsented。IleftGatesheadyesterday:andifyoucangetready,Miss,Ishouldliketotakeyoubackwithmeearlyto—morrowmorning。”
  “Yes,Robert,Ishallbeready:itseemstomethatIoughttogo。”
  “Ithinksotoo,Miss。Bessiesaidshewassureyouwouldnotrefuse:butIsupposeyouwillhavetoaskleavebeforeyoucangetoff?”
  “Yes;andIwilldoitnow;”andhavingdirectedhimtotheservants’hall,andrecommendedhimtothecareofJohn’swife,andtheattentionsofJohnhimself,IwentinsearchofMr。Rochester。