Istillstoodabsolutelydumfounderedatwhatappearedtomehermiraculousself—possessionandmostinscrutablehypocrisy,whenthecookentered。
“Mrs。Poole,”saidshe,addressingGrace,“theservants’dinnerwillsoonbeready:willyoucomedown?”
“No;justputmypintofporterandbitofpuddingonatray,andI’llcarryitupstairs。”
“You’llhavesomemeat?”
“Justamorsel,andatasteofcheese,that’sall。”
“Andthesago?”
“Neverminditatpresent:Ishallbecomingdownbeforeteatime:I’llmakeitmyself。”
Thecookhereturnedtome,sayingthatMrs。Fairfaxwaswaitingforme:soIdeparted。
IhardlyheardMrs。Fairfax’saccountofthecurtainconflagrationduringdinner,somuchwasIoccupiedinpuzzlingmybrainsovertheenigmaticalcharacterofGracePoole,andstillmoreinponderingtheproblemofherpositionatThornfieldandquestioningwhyshehadnotbeengivenintocustodythatmorning,or,attheveryleast,dismissedfromhermaster’sservice。Hehadalmostasmuchasdeclaredhisconvictionofhercriminalitylastnight:whatmysteriouscausewithheldhimfromaccusingher?Whyhadheenjoinedme,too,tosecrecy?Itwasstrange:abold,vindictive,andhaughtygentlemanseemedsomehowinthepowerofoneofthemeanestofhisdependants;somuchinherpower,thatevenwhensheliftedherhandagainsthislife,hedarednotopenlychargeherwiththeattempt,muchlesspunishherforit。
HadGracebeenyoungandhandsome,IshouldhavebeentemptedtothinkthattendererfeelingsthanprudenceorfearinfluencedMr。Rochesterinherbehalf;but,hard—favouredandmatronlyasshewas,theideacouldnotbeadmitted。“Yet,”Ireflected,“shehasbeenyoungonce;heryouthwouldbecontemporarywithhermaster’s:Mrs。Fairfaxtoldmeonce,shehadlivedheremanyyears。Idon’tthinkshecaneverhavebeenpretty;but,foraughtIknow,shemaypossessoriginalityandstrengthofcharactertocompensateforthewantofpersonaladvantages。Mr。Rochesterisanamateurofthedecidedandeccentric:Graceiseccentricatleast。Whatifaformercaprice(afreakverypossibletoanaturesosuddenandheadstrongashis)hasdeliveredhimintoherpower,andshenowexercisesoverhisactionsasecretinfluence,theresultofhisownindiscretion,whichhecannotshakeoff,anddarenotdisregard?”But,havingreachedthispointofconjecture,Mrs。Poole’ssquare,flatfigure,anduncomely,dry,evencoarseface,recurredsodistinctlytomymind’seye,thatIthought,“No;impossible!mysuppositioncannotbecorrect。Yet,”suggestedthesecretvoicewhichtalkstousinourownhearts,“youarenotbeautifuleither,andperhapsMr。Rochesterapprovesyou:atanyrate,youhaveoftenfeltasifhedid;andlastnight—rememberhiswords;rememberhislook;rememberhisvoice!”
Iwellrememberedall;language,glance,andtoneseemedatthemomentvividlyrenewed。Iwasnowintheschoolroom;Adèlewasdrawing;Ibentoverheranddirectedherpencil。Shelookedupwithasortofstart。
“Qu’avez—vous,mademoiselle?”saidshe。“Vosdoigtstremblentcommelafeuille,etvosjouessontrouges:mais,rougescommedescerises!”
“Iamhot,Adèle,withstooping!”Shewentonsketching;Iwentonthinking。
IhastenedtodrivefrommymindthehatefulnotionIhadbeenconceivingrespectingGracePoole;itdisgustedme。Icomparedmyselfwithher,andfoundweweredifferent。BessieLeavenhadsaidIwasquitealady;andshespoketruth—Iwasalady。AndnowIlookedmuchbetterthanIdidwhenBessiesawme;Ihadmorecolourandmoreflesh,morelife,morevivacity,becauseIhadbrighterhopesandkeenerenjoyments。
“Eveningapproaches,”saidI,asIlookedtowardsthewindow。“IhaveneverheardMr。Rochester’svoiceorstepinthehouseto—day;butsurelyIshallseehimbeforenight:Ifearedthemeetinginthemorning;nowIdesireit,becauseexpectationhasbeensolongbaffledthatitisgrownimpatient。”
Whenduskactuallyclosed,andwhenAdèleleftmetogoandplayinthenurserywithSophie,Ididmostkeenlydesireit。Ilistenedforthebelltoringbelow;IlistenedforLeahcomingupwithamessage;IfanciedsometimesIheardMr。Rochester’sowntread,andIturnedtothedoor,expectingittoopenandadmithim。Thedoorremainedshut;darknessonlycameinthroughthewindow。Stillitwasnotlate;heoftensentformeatsevenandeighto’clock,anditwasyetbutsix。SurelyIshouldnotbewhollydisappointedto—night,whenIhadsomanythingstosaytohim!IwantedagaintointroducethesubjectofGracePoole,andtohearwhathewouldanswer;Iwantedtoaskhimplainlyifhereallybelieveditwasshewhohadmadelastnight’shideousattempt;andifso,whyhekeptherwickednessasecret。Itlittlematteredwhethermycuriosityirritatedhim;Iknewthepleasureofvexingandsoothinghimbyturns;itwasoneIchieflydelightedin,andasureinstinctalwayspreventedmefromgoingtoofar;beyondthevergeofprovocationIneverventured;ontheextremebrinkIlikedwelltotrymyskill。Retainingeveryminuteformofrespect,everyproprietyofmystation,Icouldstillmeethiminargumentwithoutfearoruneasyrestraint;thissuitedbothhimandme。
Atreadcreakedonthestairsatlast。Leahmadeherappearance;butitwasonlytointimatethatteawasreadyinMrs。Fairfax’sroom。ThitherIrepaired,gladatleasttogodownstairs;forthatbroughtme,Iimagined,nearertoMr。Rochester’spresence。
“Youmustwantyourtea,”saidthegoodlady,asIjoinedher;“youatesolittleatdinner。Iamafraid,”shecontinued,“youarenotwellto—day:youlookflushedandfeverish。”
“Oh,quitewell!Ineverfeltbetter。”
“Thenyoumustproveitbyevincingagoodappetite;willyoufilltheteapotwhileIknitoffthisneedle?”Havingcompletedhertask,sherosetodrawdowntheblind,whichshehadhithertokeptup,byway,Isuppose,ofmakingthemostofdaylight,thoughduskwasnowfastdeepeningintototalobscurity。
“Itisfairto—night,”saidshe,asshelookedthroughthepanes,“thoughnotstarlight;Mr。Rochesterhas,onthewhole,hadafavourabledayforhisjourney。”
“Journey!—IsMr。Rochestergoneanywhere?Ididnotknowhewasout。”
“Oh,hesetofthemomenthehadbreakfasted!HeisgonetotheLeas,Mr。Eshton’splace,tenmilesontheothersideMillcote。Ibelievethereisquiteapartyassembledthere;LordIngram,SirGeorgeLynn,ColonelDent,andothers。”
“Doyouexpecthimbackto—night?”
“No—norto—morroweither;Ishouldthinkheisverylikelytostayaweekormore:whenthesefine,fashionablepeoplegettogether,theyaresosurroundedbyeleganceandgaiety,sowellprovidedwithallthatcanpleaseandentertain,theyareinnohurrytoseparate。Gentlemenespeciallyareofteninrequestonsuchoccasions;andMr。Rochesterissotalentedandsolivelyinsociety,thatIbelieveheisageneralfavourite:theladiesareveryfondofhim;thoughyouwouldnotthinkhisappearancecalculatedtorecommendhimparticularlyintheireyes:butIsupposehisacquirementsandabilities,perhapshiswealthandgoodblood,makeamendsforanylittlefaultoflook。”
“ArethereladiesattheLeas?”
“ThereareMrs。Eshtonandherthreedaughters—veryelegantyoungladiesindeed;andtherearetheHonourableBlancheandMaryIngram,mostbeautifulwomen,Isuppose:indeedIhaveseenBlanche,sixorsevenyearssince,whenshewasagirlofeighteen。ShecameheretoaChristmasballandpartyMr。Rochestergave。Youshouldhaveseenthedining—roomthatday—howrichlyitwasdecorated,howbrilliantlylitup!Ishouldthinktherewerefiftyladiesandgentlemenpresent—allofthefirstcountyfamilies;andMissIngramwasconsideredthebelleoftheevening。”
“Yousawher,yousay,Mrs。Fairfax:whatwasshelike?”
“Yes,Isawher。Thedining—roomdoorswerethrownopen;and,asitwasChristmas—time,theservantswereallowedtoassembleinthehall,tohearsomeoftheladiessingandplay。Mr。Rochesterwouldhavemetocomein,andIsatdowninaquietcornerandwatchedthem。Ineversawamoresplendidscene:theladiesweremagnificentlydressed;mostofthem—atleastmostoftheyoungerones—lookedhandsome;butMissIngramwascertainlythequeen。”
“Andwhatwasshelike?”
“Tall,finebust,slopingshoulders;long,gracefulneck:olivecomplexion,darkandclear;noblefeatures;eyesratherlikeMr。Rochester’s:largeandblack,andasbrilliantasherjewels。Andthenshehadsuchafineheadofhair;raven—blackandsobecominglyarranged:acrownofthickplaitsbehind,andinfrontthelongest,theglossiestcurlsIeversaw。Shewasdressedinpurewhite;anamber—colouredscarfwaspassedoverhershoulderandacrossherbreast,tiedattheside,anddescendinginlong,fringedendsbelowherknee。Sheworeanamber—colouredflower,too,inherhair:itcontrastedwellwiththejettymassofhercurls。”
“Shewasgreatlyadmired,ofcourse?”
“Yes,indeed:andnotonlyforherbeauty,butforheraccomplishments。Shewasoneoftheladieswhosang:agentlemanaccompaniedheronthepiano。SheandMr。Rochestersangaduet。”
“Mr。Rochester?Iwasnotawarehecouldsing。”
“Oh!hehasafinebassvoice,andanexcellenttasteformusic。”
“AndMissIngram:whatsortofavoicehadshe?”
“Averyrichandpowerfulone:shesangdelightfully;itwasatreattolistentoher;—andsheplayedafterwards。Iamnojudgeofmusic,butMr。Rochesteris;andIheardhimsayherexecutionwasremarkablygood。”
“Andthisbeautifulandaccomplishedlady,sheisnotyetmarried?”
“Itappearsnot:Ifancyneithershenorhersisterhaveverylargefortunes。OldLordIngram’sestateswerechieflyentailed,andtheeldestsoncameinforeverythingalmost。”
“ButIwondernowealthynoblemanorgentlemanhastakenafancytoher:Mr。Rochester,forinstance。Heisrich,ishenot?”
“Oh!yes。Butyouseethereisaconsiderabledifferenceinage:Mr。Rochesterisnearlyforty;sheisbuttwenty—five。”
“Whatofthat?Moreunequalmatchesaremadeeveryday。”
“True:yetIshouldscarcelyfancyMr。Rochesterwouldentertainanideaofthesort。Butyoueatnothing:youhavescarcelytastedsinceyoubegantea。”
“No:Iamtoothirstytoeat。Willyouletmehaveanothercup?”
IwasaboutagaintoreverttotheprobabilityofaunionbetweenMr。RochesterandthebeautifulBlanche;butAdèlecamein,andtheconversationwasturnedintoanotherchannel。
Whenoncemorealone,IreviewedtheinformationIhadgot;lookedintomyheart,examineditsthoughtsandfeelings,andendeavouredtobringbackwithastricthandsuchashadbeenstrayingthroughimagination’sboundlessandtracklesswaste,intothesafefoldofcommonsense。
Arraignedatmyownbar,Memoryhavinggivenherevidenceofthehopes,wishes,sentimentsIhadbeencherishingsincelastnight—ofthegeneralstateofmindinwhichIhadindulgedfornearlyafortnightpast;Reasonhavingcomeforwardandtold,inherownquietwayaplain,unvarnishedtale,showinghowIhadrejectedthereal,andrabidlydevouredtheideal;—Ipronouncedjudgmenttothiseffect:—
ThatagreaterfoolthanJaneEyrehadneverbreathedthebreathoflife;thatamorefantasticidiothadneversurfeitedherselfonsweetlies,andswallowedpoisonasifitwerenectar。
“You,”Isaid,“afavouritewithMr。Rochester?Yougiftedwiththepowerofpleasinghim?Youofimportancetohiminanyway?Go!yourfollysickensme。Andyouhavederivedpleasurefromoccasionaltokensofpreference—equivocaltokensshownbyagentlemanoffamilyandamanoftheworldtoadependentandanovice。Howdaredyou?Poorstupiddupe!—Couldnotevenself—interestmakeyouwiser?Yourepeatedtoyourselfthismorningthebriefsceneoflastnight?—Coveryourfaceandbeashamed!Hesaidsomethinginpraiseofyoureyes,didhe?Blindpuppy!Opentheirblearedlidsandlookonyourownaccursedsenselessness!Itdoesgoodtonowomantobeflatteredbyhersuperior,whocannotpossiblyintendtomarryher;anditismadnessinallwomentoletasecretlovekindlewithinthem,which,ifunreturnedandunknown,mustdevourthelifethatfeedsit;and,ifdiscoveredandrespondedto,mustlead,ignis—fatus—like,intomirywildswhencethereisnoextrication。
“Listen,then,JaneEyre,toyoursentence:tomorrow,placetheglassbeforeyou,anddrawinchalkyourownpicture,faithfully,withoutsofteningonedefect;omitnoharshline,smoothawaynodispleasingirregularity;writeunderit,‘PortraitofaGoverness,disconnected,poor,andplain。’
“Afterwards,takeapieceofsmoothivory—youhaveonepreparedinyourdrawing—box:takeyourpalette,mixyourfreshest,finest,clearesttints;chooseyourmostdelicatecamel—hairpencils;delineatecarefullytheloveliestfaceyoucanimagine;paintitinyoursoftestshadesandsweetestlines,accordingtothedescriptiongivenbyMrs。FairfaxofBlancheIngram;remembertheravenringlets,theorientaleye;—What!youreverttoMr。Rochesterasamodel!Order!Nosnivel!—nosentiment!—noregret!Iwillendureonlysenseandresolution。Recalltheaugustyetharmoniouslineaments,theGrecianneckandbust;lettheroundanddazzlingarmbevisible,andthedelicatehand;omitneitherdiamondringnorgoldbracelet;portrayfaithfullytheattire,aeriallaceandglisteningsatin,gracefulscarfandgoldenrose;callit‘Blanche,anaccomplishedladyofrank。’
“Whenever,infuture,youshouldchancetofancyMr。Rochesterthinkswellofyou,takeoutthesetwopicturesandcomparethem:say,‘Mr。Rochestermightprobablywinthatnoblelady’slove,ifhechosetostriveforit;isitlikelyhewouldwasteaseriousthoughtonthisindigentandinsignificantplebeian?’”
“I’lldoit,”Iresolved:andhavingframedthisdetermination,Igrewcalm,andfellasleep。
Ikeptmyword。Anhourortwosufficedtosketchmyownportraitincrayons;andinlessthanafortnightIhadcompletedanivoryminiatureofanimaginaryBlancheIngram。Itlookedalovelyfaceenough,andwhencomparedwiththerealheadinchalk,thecontrastwasasgreatasself—controlcoulddesire。Iderivedbenefitfromthetask:ithadkeptmyheadandhandsemployed,andhadgivenforceandfixednesstothenewimpressionsIwishedtostampindeliblyonmyheart。
Erelong,IhadreasontocongratulatemyselfonthecourseofwholesomedisciplinetowhichIhadthusforcedmyfeelingstosubmit。Thankstoit,Iwasabletomeetsubsequentoccurrenceswithadecentcalm,which,hadtheyfoundmeunprepared,Ishouldprobablyhavebeenunequaltomaintain,evenexternally。
Chapter17
Aweekpassed,andnonewsarrivedofMr。Rochester:tendays,andstillhedidnotcome。Mrs。FairfaxsaidsheshouldnotbesurprisedifheweretogostraightfromtheLeastoLondon,andthencetotheContinent,andnotshowhisfaceagainatThornfieldforayeartocome;hehadnotunfrequentlyquitteditinamannerquiteasabruptandunexpected。WhenIheardthis,Iwasbeginningtofeelastrangechillandfailingattheheart。Iwasactuallypermittingmyselftoexperienceasickeningsenseofdisappointment;butrallyingmywits,andrecollectingmyprinciples,Iatoncecalledmysensationstoorder;anditwaswonderfulhowIgotoverthetemporaryblunder—howIclearedupthemistakeofsupposingMr。Rochester’smovementsamatterinwhichIhadanycausetotakeavitalinterest。NotthatIhumbledmyselfbyaslavishnotionofinferiority:onthecontrary,Ijustsaid—
“YouhavenothingtodowiththemasterofThornfield,furtherthantoreceivethesalaryhegivesyouforteachinghisprotégée,andtobegratefulforsuchrespectfulandkindtreatmentas,ifyoudoyourduty,youhavearighttoexpectathishands。Besurethatistheonlytieheseriouslyacknowledgesbetweenyouandhim;sodon’tmakehimtheobjectofyourfinefeelings,yourraptures,agonies,andsoforth。Heisnotofyourorder:keeptoyourcaste,andbetooself—respectingtolavishtheloveofthewholeheart,soul,andstrength,wheresuchagiftisnotwantedandwouldbedespised。”
Iwentonwithmyday’sbusinesstranquilly;buteverandanonvaguesuggestionskeptwanderingacrossmybrainofreasonswhyIshouldquitThornfield;andIkeptinvoluntarilyframingadvertisementsandponderingconjecturesaboutnewsituations:thesethoughtsIdidnotthinkcheck;theymightgerminateandbearfruitiftheycould。
Mr。Rochesterhadbeenabsentupwardsofafortnight,whenthepostbroughtMrs。Fairfaxaletter。
“Itisfromthemaster,”saidshe,asshelookedatthedirection。“NowIsupposeweshallknowwhetherwearetoexpecthisreturnornot。”
Andwhileshebrokethesealandperusedthedocument,Iwentontakingmycoffee(wewereatbreakfast):itwashot,andIattributedtothatcircumstanceafieryglowwhichsuddenlyrosetomyface。Whymyhandshook,andwhyIinvoluntarilyspilthalfthecontentsofmycupintomysaucer,Ididnotchoosetoconsider。
“Well,Isometimesthinkwearetooquiet;butwerunachanceofbeingbusyenoughnow:foralittlewhileatleast,”saidMrs。Fairfax,stillholdingthenotebeforeherspectacles。
EreIpermittedmyselftorequestanexplanation,ItiedthestringofAdèle’spinafore,whichhappenedtobeloose:havinghelpedheralsotoanotherbunandrefilledhermugwithmilk,Isaid,nonchalantly—
“Mr。Rochesterisnotlikelytoreturnsoon,Isuppose?”
“Indeedheis—inthreedays,hesays:thatwillbenextThursday;andnotaloneeither。Idon’tknowhowmanyofthefinepeopleattheLeasarecomingwithhim:hesendsdirectionsforallthebestbedroomstobeprepared;andthelibraryanddrawing—roomsaretobecleanedout;IamtogetmorekitchenhandsfromtheGeorgeInn,atMillcote,andfromwhereverelseIcan;andtheladieswillbringtheirmaidsandthegentlementheirvalets:soweshallhaveafullhouseofit。”AndMrs。Fairfaxswallowedherbreakfastandhastenedawaytocommenceoperations。
Thethreedayswere,asshehadforetold,busyenough。IhadthoughtalltheroomsatThornfieldbeautifullycleanandwellarranged;butitappearsIwasmistaken。Threewomenweregottohelp;andsuchscrubbing,suchbrushing,suchwashingofpaintandbeatingofcarpets,suchtakingdownandputtingupofpictures,suchpolishingofmirrorsandlustres,suchlightingoffiresinbedrooms,suchairingofsheetsandfeather—bedsonhearths,Ineverbeheld,eitherbeforeorsince。Adèleranquitewildinthemidstofit:thepreparationsforcompanyandtheprospectoftheirarrival,seemedtothrowherintoecstasies。ShewouldhaveSophietolookoverallher“toilettes,”asshecalledfrocks;tofurbishupanythatwere“passées,”andtoairandarrangethenew。Forherself,shedidnothingbutcaperaboutinthefrontchambers,jumponandoffthebedsteads,andlieonthemattressesandpiled—upbolstersandpillowsbeforetheenormousfiresroaringinthechimneys。Fromschooldutiesshewasexonerated:Mrs。Fairfaxhadpressedmeintoherservice,andIwasalldayinthestoreroom,helping(orhindering)herandthecook;learningtomakecustardsandcheese—cakesandFrenchpastry,totrussgameandgarnishdesert—dishes。
ThepartywereexpectedtoarriveonThursdayafternoon,intimefordinneratsix。DuringtheinterveningperiodIhadnotimetonursechimeras;andIbelieveIwasasactiveandgayasanybody—Adèleexcepted。Still,nowandthen,Ireceivedadampingchecktomycheerfulness;andwas,inspiteofmyself,thrownbackontheregionofdoubtsandportents,anddarkconjectures。ThiswaswhenIchancedtoseethethird—storeystaircasedoor(whichoflatehadalwaysbeenkeptlocked)openslowly,andgivepassagetotheformofGracePoole,inprimcap,whiteapron,andhandkerchief;whenIwatchedherglidealongthegallery,herquiettreadmuffledinalistslipper;whenIsawherlookintothebustling,topsy—turvybedrooms,—justsayaword,perhaps,tothecharwomanabouttheproperwaytopolishagrate,orcleanamarblemantelpiece,ortakestainsfrompaperedwalls,andthenpasson。Shewouldthusdescendtothekitchenonceaday,eatherdinner,smokeamoderatepipeonthehearth,andgoback,carryingherpotofporterwithher,forherprivatesolace,inherowngloomy,upperhaunt。Onlyonehourinthetwenty—fourdidshepasswithherfellow—servantsbelow;alltherestofhertimewasspentinsomelow—ceiled,oakenchamberofthesecondstorey:thereshesatandsewed—andprobablylaugheddrearilytoherself,—ascompanionlessasaprisonerinhisdungeon。
Thestrangestthingofallwas,thatnotasoulinthehouse,exceptme,noticedherhabits,orseemedtomarvelatthem:noonediscussedherpositionoremployment;noonepitiedhersolitudeorisolation。Ionce,indeed,overheardpartofadialoguebetweenLeahandoneofthecharwomen,ofwhichGraceformedthesubject。LeahhadbeensayingsomethingIhadnotcaught,andthecharwomanremarked—
“Shegetsgoodwages,Iguess?”
“Yes,”saidLeah;“IwishIhadasgood;notthatminearetocomplainof,—there’snostinginessatThornfield;butthey’renotonefifthofthesumMrs。Poolereceives。Andsheislayingby:shegoeseveryquartertothebankatMillcote。Ishouldnotwonderbutshehassavedenoughtokeepherindependentifshelikedtoleave;butIsupposeshe’sgotusedtotheplace;andthenshe’snotfortyyet,andstrongandableforanything。Itistoosoonforhertogiveupbusiness。”
“Sheisagoodhand,Idaresay,”saidthecharwoman。
“Ah!—sheunderstandswhatshehastodo,—nobodybetter,”rejoinedLeahsignificantly;“anditisnoteveryonecouldfillhershoes—notforallthemoneyshegets。”
“Thatitisnot!”wasthereply。“Iwonderwhetherthemaster—”
Thecharwomanwasgoingon;buthereLeahturnedandperceivedme,andsheinstantlygavehercompanionanudge。
“Doesn’tsheknow?”Iheardthewomanwhisper。
Leahshookherhead,andtheconversationwasofcoursedropped。AllIhadgatheredfromitamountedtothis,—thattherewasamysteryatThornfield;andthatfromparticipationinthatmysteryIwaspurposelyexcluded。
Thursdaycame:allworkhadbeencompletedthepreviousevening;carpetswerelaiddown,bed—hangingsfestooned,radiantwhitecounterpanesspread,toilettablesarranged,furniturerubbed,flowerspiledinvases:bothchambersandsaloonslookedasfreshandbrightashandscouldmakethem。Thehall,too,wasscoured;andthegreatcarvedclock,aswellasthestepsandbanistersofthestaircase,werepolishedtothebrightnessofglass;inthedining—room,thesideboardflashedresplendentwithplate;inthedrawing—roomandboudoir,vasesofexoticsbloomedonallsides。
Afternoonarrived:Mrs。Fairfaxassumedherbestblacksatingown,hergloves,andhergoldwatch;foritwasherparttoreceivethecompany,—toconducttheladiestotheirrooms,&c。Adèle,too,wouldbedressed:thoughIthoughtshehadlittlechanceofbeingintroducedtothepartythatdayatleast。However,topleaseher,IallowedSophietoapparelherinoneofhershort,fullmuslinfrocks。Formyself,Ihadnoneedtomakeanychange;Ishouldnotbecalledupontoquitmysanctumoftheschoolroom;forasanctumitwasnowbecometome,—“averypleasantrefugeintimeoftrouble。”
Ithadbeenamild,serenespringday—oneofthosedayswhich,towardstheendofMarchorthebeginningofApril,riseshiningovertheearthasheraldsofsummer。Itwasdrawingtoanendnow;buttheeveningwasevenwarm,andIsatatworkintheschoolroomwiththewindowopen。
“Itgetslate,”saidMrs。Fairfax,enteringinrustlingstate。“IamgladIordereddinneranhourafterthetimeMr。Rochestermentioned;foritispastsixnow。IhavesentJohndowntothegatestoseeifthereisanythingontheroad:onecanseealongwayfromthenceinthedirectionofMillcote。”Shewenttothewindow。“Hereheis!”saidshe。“Well,John”(leaningout),“anynews?”
“They’recoming,ma’am,”wastheanswer。“They’llbehereintenminutes。”
Adèleflewtothewindow。Ifollowed,takingcaretostandononeside,sothat,screenedbythecurtain,Icouldseewithoutbeingseen。
ThetenminutesJohnhadgivenseemedverylong,butatlastwheelswereheard;fourequestriansgallopedupthedrive,andafterthemcametwoopencarriages。Flutteringveilsandwavingplumesfilledthevehicles;twoofthecavalierswereyoung,dashing—lookinggentlemen;thethirdwasMr。Rochester,onhisblackhorse,Mesrour,Pilotboundingbeforehim;athissiderodealady,andheandshewerethefirstoftheparty。Herpurpleriding—habitalmostswepttheground,herveilstreamedlongonthebreeze;minglingwithitstransparentfolds,andgleamingthroughthem,shonerichravenringlets。
“MissIngram!”exclaimedMrs。Fairfax,andawayshehurriedtoherpostbelow。
Thecavalcade,followingthesweepofthedrive,quicklyturnedtheangleofthehouse,andIlostsightofit。Adèlenowpetitionedtogodown;butItookheronmyknee,andgavehertounderstandthatshemustnotonanyaccountthinkofventuringinsightoftheladies,eithernoworatanyothertime,unlessexpresslysentfor:thatMr。Rochesterwouldbeveryangry,&c。“Somenaturaltearssheshed”onbeingtoldthis;butasIbegantolookverygrave,sheconsentedatlasttowipethem。
Ajoyousstirwasnowaudibleinthehall:gentlemen’sdeeptonesandladies’silveryaccentsblentharmoniouslytogether,anddistinguishableaboveall,thoughnotloud,wasthesonorousvoiceofthemasterofThornfieldHall,welcominghisfairandgallantguestsunderitsroof。Thenlightstepsascendedthestairs;andtherewasatrippingthroughthegallery,andsoftcheerfullaughs,andopeningandclosingdoors,and,foratime,ahush。
“Elleschangentdetoilettes,”saidAdèle;who,listeningattentively,hadfollowedeverymovement;andshesighed。
“Chezmaman,”saidshe,“quandilyavaitdumonde,jelesuivaispartout,ausalonetàleurschambres;souventjeregardaislesfemmesdechambrecoifferethabillerlesdames,etc’étaitsiamusant:commecelaonapprend。”
“Don’tyoufeelhungry,Adèle?”
“Maisoui,mademoiselle:voilàcinqousixheuresquenousn’avonspasmangé。”
“Wellnow,whiletheladiesareintheirrooms,Iwillventuredownandgetyousomethingtoeat。”
Andissuingfrommyasylumwithprecaution,Isoughtaback—stairswhichconducteddirectlytothekitchen。Allinthatregionwasfireandcommotion;thesoupandfishwereinthelaststageofprojection,andthecookhungoverhercruciblesinaframeofmindandbodythreateningspontaneouscombustion。Intheservants’halltwocoachmenandthreegentlemen’sgentlemenstoodorsatroundthefire;theabigails,Isuppose,wereupstairswiththeirmistresses;thenewservants,thathadbeenhiredfromMillcote,werebustlingabouteverywhere。Threadingthischaos,Iatlastreachedthelarder;thereItookpossessionofacoldchicken,arollofbread,sometarts,aplateortwoandaknifeandfork:withthisbootyImadeahastyretreat。Ihadregainedthegallery,andwasjustshuttingtheback—doorbehindme,whenanacceleratedhumwarnedmethattheladieswereabouttoissuefromtheirchambers。Icouldnotproceedtotheschoolroomwithoutpassingsomeoftheirdoors,andrunningtheriskofbeingsurprisedwithmycargoofvictualage;soIstoodstillatthisend,which,beingwindowless,wasdark:quitedarknow,forthesunwassetandtwilightgathering。
Presentlythechambersgaveuptheirfairtenantsoneafteranother:eachcameoutgailyandairily,withdressthatgleamedlustrousthroughthedusk。Foramomenttheystoodgroupedtogetherattheotherextremityofthegallery,conversinginakeyofsweetsubduedvivacity:theythendescendedthestaircasealmostasnoiselesslyasabrightmistrollsdownahill。Theircollectiveappearancehadleftonmeanimpressionofhigh—bornelegance,suchasIhadneverbeforereceived。
IfoundAdèlepeepingthroughtheschoolroomdoor,whichsheheldajar。“Whatbeautifulladies!”criedsheinEnglish。“Oh,IwishImightgotothem!DoyouthinkMr。Rochesterwillsendforusby—and—bye,afterdinner?”
“No,indeed,Idon’t;Mr。Rochesterhassomethingelsetothinkabout。Nevermindtheladiesto—night;perhapsyouwillseethemto—morrow:hereisyourdinner。”
Shewasreallyhungry,sothechickenandtartsservedtodivertherattentionforatime。ItwaswellIsecuredthisforage,orbothshe,I,andSophie,towhomIconveyedashareofourrepast,wouldhaverunachanceofgettingnodinneratall:everyonedownstairswastoomuchengagedtothinkofus。Thedessertwasnotcarriedouttillafternineandattenfootmenwerestillrunningtoandfrowithtraysandcoffee—cups。IallowedAdèletositupmuchlaterthanusual;forshedeclaredshecouldnotpossiblygotosleepwhilethedoorskeptopeningandshuttingbelow,andpeoplebustlingabout。Besides,sheadded,amessagemightpossiblycomefromMr。Rochesterwhenshewasundressed;“etalorsqueldommage!”
Itoldherstoriesaslongasshewouldlistentothem;andthenforachangeItookheroutintothegallery。Thehalllampwasnowlit,anditamusedhertolookoverthebalustradeandwatchtheservantspassingbackwardsandforwards。Whentheeveningwasfaradvanced,asoundofmusicissuedfromthedrawing—room,whitherthepianohadbeenremoved;AdèleandIsatdownonthetopstepofthestairstolisten。Presentlyavoiceblentwiththerichtonesoftheinstrument;itwasaladywhosang,andverysweethernoteswere。Thesoloover,aduetfollowed,andthenaglee:ajoyousconversationalmurmurfilleduptheintervals。Ilistenedlong:suddenlyIdiscoveredthatmyearwaswhollyintentonanalysingthemingledsounds,andtryingtodiscriminateamidsttheconfusionofaccentsthoseofMr。Rochester;andwhenitcaughtthem,whichitsoondid,itfoundafurthertaskinframingthetones,renderedbydistanceinarticulate,intowords。
Theclockstruckeleven。IlookedatAdèle,whoseheadleantagainstmyshoulder;hereyeswerewaxingheavy,soItookherupinmyarmsandcarriedherofftobed。Itwasnearonebeforethegentlemenandladiessoughttheirchambers。
Thenextdaywasasfineasitspredecessor:itwasdevotedbythepartytoanexcursiontosomesiteintheneighbourhood。Theysetoutearlyintheforenoon,someonhorseback,therestincarriages;Iwitnessedboththedepartureandthereturn。MissIngram,asbefore,wastheonlyladyequestrian;and,asbefore,Mr。Rochestergallopedatherside;thetworodealittleapartfromtherest。IpointedoutthiscircumstancetoMrs。Fairfax,whowasstandingatthewindowwithme—
“Yousaiditwasnotlikelytheyshouldthinkofbeingmarried,”saidI,“butyouseeMr。Rochesterevidentlyprefershertoanyoftheotherladies。”
“Yes,Idaresay:nodoubtheadmiresher。”
“Andshehim,”Iadded;“lookhowsheleansherheadtowardshimasifshewereconversingconfidentially;IwishIcouldseeherface;Ihaveneverhadaglimpseofityet。”
“Youwillseeherthisevening,”answeredMrs。Fairfax。“IhappenedtoremarktoMr。RochesterhowmuchAdèlewishedtobeintroducedtotheladies,andhesaid:‘Oh!lethercomeintothedrawing—roomafterdinner;andrequestMissEyretoaccompanyher。’”
“Yes;hesaidthatfrommerepoliteness:Ineednotgo,Iamsure,”Ianswered。
第12章