"'"Themcontoomeliousremarkstothelady，"hesaystomygrandfather，"lowersyouinmyesteemalot。An'whilethewayyoubreaksupthatsetteewiththeRoarin'Wolverinegoessometowardsreestablishin'you，stillIshallnotlookonyouasthegentI
　　takesyoufor，ontilyouseeksthisyereinjuredfemalean'
　　crawfishesonthatp'isen-takin'bluff。"
　　"'Somygrandfathergoesoutondeckwheretheladyisstillsobbin'
　　an'hangin'onthecaptain'sneckliketheloopofarope，an'
　　apol'gizes。Thentheladytakesabrace，acceptsthemcontritions，an'putsitupforherpartthatshecanseemygrandfather'sashore-enoughgentan'asonofchivalry；an'withthattheriotwindsupplumbpleasantall'round。'
　　"'IfImaycomeromancin'inyere，'saysDocPeets，sorto'breakin'
　　intotheplayatthisp'int，'withainterruption，IwantstosaythatIregyardsthisasaveryprettynarratif，an'requeststhedrinksoncttotheColonel'sgrandfather。'Wedrinksaccordin'，an'
　　theColonelresoomes。
　　"'MygrandfathercomesbackfromthisyereexpeditiondowntheOhioamostvoylentJacksonman。An'he'strootohisfaithasaadherenttoJacksonthroughtimeswhentheClayfolksgetsthatintemp'ratetheyhunts'emwithdogs。Theoldgentwaswont，asIsu'gests，toregalemychildishy'earswiththestoryofwhathesuffers，Hetellshowhegoespirootin'offamongthefarmersinthebackcounties；sleepin'onhuskbeds，tillthebed-ropescutsplumbthroughan'marksoutachecker-boardonhisframethatwouldstayformonths。Oncehe'ssleepin'inaloft，an'allofasuddenaboutdaybreaktheoldgenthearsasquallthatmightynearlocoeshim，it'ssoclostan'turrible。Heboilsoutontheflooran'beginstoclawonhisduds，allowin'，bein'he'sonlyhalfawakethata-way，thatit'sapasselofthemmurderin'ClayWhigswho'scometocrawlhishumpforshore。Butshe'safalsealarm。It'sonlyaDom'nickroosterwho'sbeenperchedallnightonmygrandfather'swristwherehisarmsticksoutenbed，an'who'sdonecrowedawholelot，asishishabitwhenheglintsthecomin'day。It'sthemsorto'thingsthatsendsashudderthroughyou，an'showswhatthatoldpatriotsuffersforhisfaith。
　　"'Butmygrandfatherkeepsonprevailin'alonginthemviewsontilhejestconquershiscountyan'carriesherforJackson。Shore!hehastroubleatthepolls，an'troubleintheconventions。Buthepersists；an'he'sthatdomineerin'an'dogmatictheyatlastnotonlygiveshimhisway，butcomesrackin'alongwithhim。Inthelastconvention，henacherallyherdsthingsintoacorner，an'
　　thar'sonlyfortyvotesag'inhimatthefinish。Mygrandfatherallerssayswhenrelatin'ofittomelongafterwards:
　　"'"An'grandsonWillyum，fivegallonsmoreofrumwouldhavemadethatconventionyoonanimous。
　　"'Butwhathe'pstheoldgentmosttowardsthelast，isaj'intdebatehehaswithSpenceWitherspoon，whichbeginswithreecrim'nationsan'windsupwiththeguns。Also，itleavesthisyereaggravatin'Witherspoonlessawholelot。
　　"'"Wasn'tyou-allfornullification，an'ain'tyounowforJacksonan'theunion？"asksthisyereinsultin'Witherspoon。"Didn'tyoumakeaCalhounspeechoveronMinkRuntwoyearsago，an'ain'tyouatthisbarbecue，to-day，consoomin'burgooan'shoutin'forOldHickory？"
　　"'"Whatyou-allstatesistroo，"saysmygrandfather。"Butmypartyturns，an'Iturnswithit。You-allcan'tloseJackSterett。Hecanturnsoquicktheheelsofhismoccasinswillbeinfront。"
　　"'"Whichthemtalentsofyoursforchange，"saysWitherspoon，"remindsmeapowerfullotofthestoryofhowJedgeChinngivesBillHatfield，theblacksmith，thatBerkshiresuckin'pig。
　　'"An'whateveristhatstory？"asksmygrandfather，beginnin'toloosenhisbowie-knifeinitssheath。
　　"'"Takeyourpawsoffthatoldbutcherofyour'n，"returnsthispesterin'Witherspoon，"an'I'lltellthestory。Butyou'vegottoquittriflin'withthat'leven-inchknifeontilI'mplumbthrough，orI'llfoolyouupalotan'jestwon'ttellit。"
　　"'Tharuponmygrandfathertakeshishandoffentheknife-haft，an'
　　Witherspoonbranchesforth:
　　"'"WhenIrecallshowthisoncompromisin'outlaw，"p'intin'tomygrandfather，"talksforCalhounan'nullificationoveronMinkRun，an'todayisyereshoutin'inarum-soddenwayfortheunionan'
　　AndyJackson，asIobservesyeretofore，itshoreremindsmeofthestoryofhowJedgeChinngiveBillHatfieldthatBerkshireshoat。
　　'Sendoveroneofyourniggerswithabasketan'lethimgetone，Bill，'saysJedgeChinn，who'sbeentellin'Hatfieldaboutthepigs。
　　Neytday，Billmountshisniggerboy，Dick，onamule，withabasketonhisarm，an'DicklinesoutforJedgeChinn'sfortofetchawaythatlittlehawg。Dickputshiminthebasket，climbsontohismule，an'goesteeterin'outforhome。Onthewayback，DickstopsatHickman'stavern。Whilehe'spourin'inagillofcornjooce，awagwho'spresentsubtractsthepigan'putsinoneofoldHickman'sblackNoofoundlandpups。WhenDickgetshometoBillHatfield's，Billtakesonelookatthepup，breaksthebigrasponDick'shead，throwstheforehammerathim，an'bidshimgobacktoJedgeChinnan'tellhimthathe，Bill，willsallyoverthefirstdulldayan'
　　p'isenhiscattlean'burnhisbarns。Dicktakesthebasketfullofdogonhisarm，an'goesp'intin'forJedgeChinn。Nacherally，DickstopsatHickman'stavernsoastomollifyhisfeelin'swiththatred-eye。Thisyerewaggetsinag'inontheplay，subtractsthepupan'restoresthelittlehawgawholelot。WhenDickgetstoJedgeChinn，heonfoldstotheJedgetouchin'themtransformationsfrompigtopup。'Pshaw!'saystheJedge，who'soneofthempos'tivesharpsthatnoghosttalesisgoin'toshake；'pshaw!BillHatfield'sgettin'tobealoonatic。ItellshimthelasttimeIhasmyhossshodthatifhekeepsonpourin'downthatHickmanwhiskey，he'llshorelydie，an'beginbydyin'atthetop。TheseyereilloosionsofhisshowsIdrivesthecenter。'ThentheJedgeoncoversthebasketan'turnsoutthelittlehawg。WhenniggerDickseeshim，hefallsonhisknees。'I'machu'chmember，MarseJedge，'
　　saysDick，'an'you-allbelieveswhatIsays。Thatanamile'sconjured，Jedge。Iseeshimyerean'Iseeshimthar；an'，Jedge，he'seitherpigorpup，whicheverwayhelikes。'
　　"'"An'，ladiesan'gents，"concloodesthisWitherspoon，makin'aincriminatin'gestureso'stoincloodemygrandfatherthata-way；
　　"whenIreflectsonthisonblushin'turncoat，JackSterett，asI
　　statesprior，itmakesmethinkofhowJedgeChinnlavishesthatBerkshireshoatonblacksmithBillHatfield。Confessin'thataforetimehe'sanullificationpigonMinkRun，hesetsyereatthisbarbecuean'withoutcolorofshamedeclar'shimse'faunionpup。
　　MisterCha'rman，allIcansayis，itshorebeatssquinchowls!"
　　"'Asthestoryisfinished，thetroocewhichbindsmygrandfatherends，an'hepullshisbowie-knifean'chasesthisWitherspoonfromtherostrum。He'dhadhisdetractor'sskelprightthar，butthecha'rmanan'otherleadin'speritsinterferes，an'insistsonthemresentmentsofmygrandfather'sfindin'theusualchannelintheirexpression。Witherspoon，who'sgotonanewblanketcoat，allowshewon'tfightnonewithknivesastheycutsan'sp'ilesyourclothes；
　　hesaysheprefersriflesan'fiftypacesforhis。Mygrandfather，who'stheeasiestgenttogetalongwithinmattersofmeredetail，isagree'ble；an'asneitherhimnorWitherspoonhasbroughttheirweepons，thetwovicepres'dents，who'sgoin'toactasseconds——thepres'dentbymootualconsentdealin'thegameasreferee——rummagesaboutair'borrysabraceofLooeyvilleriflesfrommembersoftheBlackB'arGleeClub——they'rethebarytonean'tenor——an'mygrandfatheran'thescandal-mongerin'Witherspoonisstoodup。
　　"'"Gents，"saysthepres'dent，"thewordswillbe，'Fire-one-two-
　　three-stop。'It'sincumbentonyou-alltoblazeawayanywherebetweenthewords'Fire'an''Stop'。Mypartin'injunctionsis，'Mayheavendefendtheright，'an'beshorean'seeyourhindsightsasyouonhooksyourguns。"
　　"'Attheword，mygrandfatheran'Witherspoonrespondspromptan'
　　gay。Witherspoonovershoots，whilemygrandfatherplantshisleadinamongWitherspoon'sidees，an'thatracontoorquitsKaintuckyfortheotherworldwithoutamurmur。
　　"'"Iregyardsthiseventasavict'ryforJacksonan'principle，"
　　saysmygrandfather，ashe'scalledontoproceedwithhisoration，"an'I'dliketosayinthatconnection，ifHenryClaywillcounthisspoonswhenhenextcomessneakin'homefromWashin'ton，he'llfindhe'sshortSpenceWitherspoon。"'
　　"'Yourgrandfather'satroohumorist，'saysTexasThompson，asColonelSterettpausesinthemrecitalsofhistoreachthebottle；
　　'Ilooksonthatlastwitticismofhisasplumbapt。'
　　"'Mygrandfather，'resoomesColonelSterett，afterbein'refreshed，'isasfulloffunasmoney-musk，an'whenthataudiencegetsontothejokeinitscompleteness，themerrimentiswideanyooniversal。
　　It'sthehitofthebarbecue；an'inthisway，littlebylittle，mygrandfatherwinshisneighborstohisbeliefs，ontilhe'sgotthecommoonityallstretchedan'hawgtied，an'brandshertriumphantforGen'ralJackson。'
　　"'An'doesyourownpapfollowinthefootprintsofhisoldgent，asaconvincin'an'determinedstatesmanthata-way？'asksDocPeets。
　　'No，'saysColonelSterett，'myownpersonalparentsimmersdownawholelotcomparedtomygrandfather。Hedon'ttakehispol'ticssomuchtoheart；hisdemocracyain'tsovirulentan'don'tstrikein。
　　Hisonlyfirmstandonquestionsofstate，asIrelatestheotherday，iswhenheinsistsonbein'nootraldoorin'thelatewar。I
　　explainshowhetalksfederalan'thinksreb，an'manages，thata-
　　way，topromoteadecentaverage。
　　"'Hisnootrality，however，don'tincloodethefam'lynone。MybrotherJeff——an'Ineverbeholdsahaughtiersperit-goessquanderin'offwithMorganatthefirstbooglecall，'"'ThatraidofMorgan's，'saysEnright，hiseyebrightenin'，'isplumbfullofdashan'fire。'"'Shore，'saystheColonel，'plumbfullofdashan'
　　fire。ButJefftellsmeofitlater，footbyfoot，fromthetimetheycrossestheriverintoInjeanny，tilltheycomessquatterin'
　　acrossatBlennerhasset'sIslandintoKaintuckyag'in，all'Isadly，thoughfrankly，admitsitlookslikeitpossessessomeelementsofachicken-stealin'expeditionalso。Jeffsaysheneverseessomanyfolkssincere，an'withtheirmindsmadeup，ashimall'Morganan'
　　therestoftheBlooGrasschivalryencountersoilthatcroosade。
　　Thar'sanuprisin'ofthepeasantry，Jeffsays，whereevertheygoes；
　　an'thenclodspursoocsJeffan'theothers，fromstarttofinish，withhoesan'rakesan'mattocksan'clothes-polesan'puddin'-
　　sticksan'otherbarbarousan'obsoletearms，an'neverletsupontilJeffan'Morganall'theirgallantcomradesisag'insafeinthearmsoftheirKaintuckybrethren。
　　Theirstayinanygivenspotistroolybrief。
　　ThattownofCincinnatimakesupabundleofmoneybigenoughtochokeacowtogive'emasaransom；butJeffan'Morganneverdohearofitforyears。Theygoesbysoplumbswifttheydon'tgetnotice；an'theyfadesawayinthedistancesofasttheykeepsaheadofthenews。However，theygetsbacktoKaintuckysafean'coveredwithdustan'gloryinevenparts；an'asforJeffspeshul，astheharvestofhisvalor，hereportshimse'ftheownerofaone-sixthinterestinasleighwhichhiman'fiveofhisindomitablecompanionshasdonedrugacrosstheriverontheirreturn。Buttheydon'tlingeroverthistrophy；dootycalls'em，sotheystoresthesleighinabarnan'ridesawaytofurtherhonors。
　　"'WeneverdohearofJeffnoneallthroughthatwarbutonce。Afterhe'sj'inedStonewallJackson，Irecallshowhesendshomesixhundreddollarsinconfed'ratemoneywithalettertomyfather。Itrunslikethis:
　　IncampwithStonewallJackson。
　　RespectedSir:
　　Theslavewhobearsthiswillgiveyoufrommeatreasureofsixhundreddollars。Idesirethatyoupaythetavernandwhatevercreditorsofmineyoufind。Toowedebtsdoesnotcomportwiththehonorofacavalier，andIproposetosilenceallbaseclamorsonthathead。Iremain，mostveneratedsir，Yourstocommand，JeffersonSterett。
　　"'That'sthelastwe-allhearsofmysens'tivean'high-speritedbrotherontilafterMisterLeesurrenders。It'sonemornin'whenJeffcomeshome，an'themannerofhisreturnshorelydisplayshisnobilityofsoul，thata-way，asondiscouragedan'ondimmed。Noone'slookin'forJeffpartic'lar，whenIhearsasteamboatwhistleforourlandin'。I，bein'asIamfulloftheontamedcur'osityofyooth，goescurvin'outtoseewhat'sup。Ihearsthepilotgivetheengineerthebellstosetherback。onthesta'boardwheel，an'thenonboth。Theboatcomesdriftin'in。Astagin'isletdown，anwiththetreadofaconquerorwhoshouldcomeashorebutmybrotherJeff!
　　Thar'snothin'inhishands；heain'tgotnothin'withhimthatheain'twearin'。An'allhehasonisaoldwoolhat，ahick'ryshirt，graytrousers，an'apairofcopper-rivetshoesasredasabayhoss。Ashestrikesthebank，Jeffturnsan'sweepsthescenewiththeeyeofaeagle。Thentakin'abogussilverwatchoutenhispocket，hew'irlsheroverhisheadbytheleatherstringan'letshergooutintotheriver，ker-chunk!
　　"'"WhichIentersintothisyererebellion，"saysJeff，flashin'aproud，highglanceonmewhereIstandswonderin'，"withoutnothin'，an'Iproposestoreturnwithhonorontarnished，an'asporeasI
　　goesin。"
　　"'Asmean'Jeffreepairsuptothehouse，Inotesthemostrenegade-lookin'niggerfollowin'behind。
　　"'"Whoever'sdisyerenigger？"Iasks。
　　"'"He'smyvalet，"saysJeff。
　　"'Myarm'saheaptooslight，'goesonColonelSterett，followin'asmalllibation，'tostrikeablowfortheconfed'racy，butmysoulisshorelyinthecause。Idoestrytoj'ine，final，an'isonlysavedtharfrom，an'fromwhatwould，ondoubted，havebeenmycertaindeath，byarebgen'ralnamedWheeler。Hedon'tmeantodoit；she'sinadvertentsofarashe'sconcerned；buthesavesmejestthesame。
　　An'settin'yereasIbe，enjoyin'thefriendshipan'esteemofyou-
　　allcitizensofWolfville，Ifeelsmorean'morethedebtofgratitoodeIowesthatgallantofficeran'man。'
　　"'HoweverdoesthisGen'ralWheelersaveyou？'asksDanBoggs。
　　'WhichI'mshoreeagertohear。'
　　"'Thetaleissimple，'respondstheColonel，'an'it'satribootetothatbravecommanderwhichI'mallersreadytopay。It'sinthemiddleyearsofthewar，an'I'mgoin'toschoolinavillagewhichliesbackfromtheriver，an'isabouttwentymilesfrommyancestralhome。Thar'sastockadeintheplacewhichsomeinvadin'
　　Yankshasbuilt，an'thar'sabouttwentyof'eminside，sorto'
　　givin'orderstothevillagean'makin'itspatrioticinhabitantseithermarchormarktime，whicheverchancestobetheirYankeecaprices。
　　"'AsatrooSouthernyooth，whofeelsforhisstrugglin'country，I
　　loathesthemYankeestothelimit，an'hasnomoreusefor'emthanHugginshasforatemp'rancelecturer。
　　"'Onedayatroopofrebcavalryjumpsintothevillage，an'
　　stampedestheseyereinvadersplumboffthescene。Wegetsthenewsuptotheschool，an'adjournsinabunchtocomedowntownan'
　　cel'bratethesuccessoftheSouthernarms。AsIarrivesatthefieldofcarnage，arebcavalrymanisswingin'outenthesaddle。Hethrowsthebridleofhishosstome。
　　"'"Seeyere，Bud，"hesays，"holdmyhossaminutewhileIseesifIcan'tburnthisstockade。"
　　"'Istandstharwhiletherebfussesawaywithsomepinesplintersan'lightwood，strugglin'toinaug'rateaholycaust。Hecan'tmakethelandin'；themtimbersistoogreen，thata-way。
　　"'WhileI'mstandin'thar，lendin'myse'ftothisyereconflagratoryenterprise，Ihappenstocastmyeyesoveronthehillsamilebackfromthevillage，an'I'mshockedawholelottoobservethememinencesan'summitsisbloowithYankeescomin'。NowI'mamightycarefulboy，an'Idon'tallownonetoletaragin'clanjamfreyofthemLincolnhirelingscaperuponmewhileI'mholdin'arebboss。
　　SoIcallstothisyereincendiarytrooperwherehe'sblowin'an'
　　experimentin'an'stillfailin'withthemflames。
　　"'"Secesh!"Ishouts；"oh，you-allsecesh!You'damightysightbettercomegetyourhoss，orthemYankswho'sbulgin'alongoveryonder'llspreadyourhideonthefence。"
　　"'ThisrebtakesalookattheYanks，an'thencomesan'getshishoss。Ashegathersupthebridlereinan'swingsintothesaddle，amadthirsttofight，diean'bleedformycountryseizesme，an'I
　　grabsthereb'shossbythebitsan'detainshim。
　　"'"Say，Mister，"Ipleads，"whycan'tyou-alltakemewithyou？"
　　"'"Whichyou'realottooyoung，son，"saysthereb，takin'anothersize-upoftheYanks。
　　"'"Iain'tsoyoungasIlooks，"Iargues；"I'mjestsmallofmyage。"
　　"'"Now，Ireckonsthat'sso，"saysthereb，beamin'onmeapprovin'，"an'you'relikewisemightypeart。ButI'lltellyou，Bud，youain'tgotnohoss。"
　　"'"That'snothin'，"Iresponds；"whichifyou-allwillonlygetmeagun，Icanstealahoss，thata-way，inthefirstmile。"
　　"'Seein'mesoreadywiththemargyments，an'sodeadpertinacioustogo，thisyeretrooperbeginstoactoneasy，likehisresolootiongetsshooksome。Atlasthegriddshisteethtogetherlikehismind'smadeup。
　　"'"Lookyere，boy，"hesays，"doyouknowwhoourGen'ralis？"
　　"'"No，"Isays，"Idon't。"
　　"'"Well，"saysthereb，asheshoveshisfeetdeepinthestirrups，an'settlesinhissaddlelikehe'sgoin'tomakesometime；"well，he'saragin'an'onfetteredmaverick，namedWheeler；an'fromthewayhegoesskallyhootin''round，he'sgoin'togetusallkilledorcapturedbeforeeverwegetsback，an'Idon'twantnochil'enonmyhands。""'Withthatthisyeresoldieryanksthebridleoutenmygrasp，clapsthesteelintohishoss'sflanks，an'leavesmelikeabulletfromagun。Formypart，Istandstharsaved；saved，asI
　　says，bythatGen'ralWheeler'srepootationwithhismen。'"
　　CHAPTERXVII。
　　OldManEnright'sLove。
　　"Son，I'mgettin'plumbalarmedaboutmyse'f，"observedtheOldCattleman，aswedrewtogetherforourusualtalk。"I'vebeensorto'cog'tatin'tharof，an'IbeginstoallowI'mamightysighttoogarrulousthata-way。Thisyereconversationhabitisshoregrowin'
　　onme，an'，ifIdon'twatchout，I'mgoin'tobeabiggertalkerthanoldVanceGroggins，"
　　"WasGrogginsagreatconversationist？"Iasked。
　　"DoesthisyereVanceGrogginsconverse？WhichIwishIhasstoredbyapintoflickerforeverythin'Vancesays!ItwouldbealongspellbeforeeverI'mdriventogoransackin''roundtofindoneofthemlife-savin'stations，calledbycommonconsent，a's'loon!'
　　ThisVancedon'tdonothin'buttalk；he'sgotthatmuchtosay，itgetsinhisway。Vancecomesmightyclosttogettin'aheaptheworstofitoncemerelyonaccountofthempowersofcommoonication。
　　"Yousee，thisyereVanceisabroke-downsport，an'isdealin'
　　faro-bankforJessJenkinsoverontheCanadian。An'Vancejestcan'tresisttakin'partineveryconversationthat'sstarted。Lettwogentsacrossthelayoutgotoexchangin'views，orswappin'
　　observations，an'youcangamblethatVancecomesjimmin'alongin。
　　An'Vanceisallerstellin'abouthisbrotherAbe。Doesagentmentionthathebrandseighthundredcalvesthatspringround-up，VancecutsinwiththebluffthathisbrotherAbebrandstwelvehundred；doesasportsu'gestthatheseesapartywinfourthousanddollarsag'inmonteorrouletteorfaroorsomesechamoosement，VancegetstharpromptwithsomeranikaboorelationsofatimewhenhisbrotherAbegoesag'instWhiteyBobatWichita，makesakillin'
　　ofoversixtythousanddollars，an'breaksthebank。
　　"'MybrotherAbe，'saysthisyerescand'lousVancethata-way，'jestnacherallywinsthekyarpetsoffWhiteyBob'sfloor。'
　　"Son，it'ssimpleegreegiousthewaythisVancecarriesoninthemfoolrev'lationstouchin'hisbrotherAbe。
　　"Itgetsso，final，thatapasselofsportslodgescomplaintswithJenkins。'What'stheuse!'saysthemmaddenedsportstoJenkins。
　　'ThisVancedon'tdealfaro-bank；hejestdon'tdonothin'buttalk。
　　Tharwesets，ourbetsonthelayout，an'wedon'tgetnoaction。
　　ThisVancewon'tdealakyardforfearwedon'thearaboutthatbrotherAbeGrogginsofhis'n。'
　　"ThemcriticismsmakesJenkinsplentyquer'lous。HeroundsVanceupan'currieshimawholelot。ThenhetellsVancetopullhisfreight；hedon'twanthimtodealfaro-bankforhimnomore。
　　"Atthis，Vanceturnsplumbpiteous，an'asksJenkinsnottothrowhimloose，thata-way。An'hepromisestore-organizean'alterhissystem。'Iknowsmyfailin's，'saysVanceaheapmournful。'Youdon'thavetocome'roundtauntin'mewith'em；I'mdeadonto'emmyse'f。I'mtoofrankan'I'mtoosociable；I'mtoopronetoregalemyfellowgentswithleafsfrommyexperience；an'Irealize，aswellasyoudo，Jenk，it'swrong。Shorely，I'venorighttostopinthemiddleofadealtotellastoryan'forcethehopesan'fears，nottosaythefortunes，ofahalf-dozenintensesports，an'someof'emintheholeatthat，towaittillIgetsthrough!Iknowitain'tright，Jenk；butIpromisesyou，ifyou'llletmegobehindtheboxag'into-night，onthehonorofakyardsharp，you-allwillneverhearayelpoutenmefromsodatohock。An'that'swhatever!"
　　"'Itain'tnotalonethatyoutalksforever，'remonstratesJenkins；
　　'butit'sthemfrightfulliesyoutells。Whichthey'reenoughtoonsettleagent'splay，tosaynothin'ofrunnin'thereskofraisin'ahoodooan'queerin'mybank。ButItriesyouoncemore，Vance；onlygetitstraight:Soshoreaseveryoutakestoonloadin'
　　onthecompanyoneofthemexaggerationsaboutthatfelonAbe，I
　　won'tsay"Go，"I'lljestonlimberan'burnthemoccasinsoffyouwithmygun。'
　　"It'sthatverynight；Vancehasbeendealin'thegameformightylikelyit'sthreehours，an'noonegetsaverbalriseoutenhimmore'nifhe'sagravenimage。Vanceisgettin'proudofhimse'f，an'Jenkins，whocomesprowlin''roundthegameattimes，beginstoreckonmebbyVance'lldo。AllgoeswellontilapartyletsflysomehyperboleaboutatavernhestrikesinLittleRock，whichforsizean'extensifcharacteristicslaysoveranythin'onearthlikeasummer'scloud。
　　"'Youthinksso？'saysVance，stoppin'thedeal，an'leanin'aelbowonthebox，whilehegoesprojectin'towardsthecountenanceoftheLittleRockpartywiththeforefingerofhisotherhand，kindo'
　　claimin'hisattention。'Youthinksso!Iallowsnowyou-allreckonsthatforahotel，thisyereLittleRockedificeistheoldhe-coon!
　　Letmetellyousomethin':MybrotherAbegoesouttooneofthembathin'camps，sweptbyoceanbreezes，onthePacificslope，an'youshouldshorelyoughterbeholdthejointheslamsup!Pards，thar'smorethantwothousandroomsinthatwickeyup!It's'levenhundredan'twelvefoothigh，fourthousandtwohundredan'fifty-fourfootlong，an'——'It'shereporeVancecatchesJenkins'eyeglarin'onhimhardan'remorseless——'an'twentyfootwide，'saysVance，aheaphurried，dashin'thekyardsoutenthebox。'Fivelose，jackwin，'
　　concloodesVanceconfoosedly，makin'ahastychangeofsubjects。
　　"Yes，indeed!"andtheoldgentlemanlookedthoughtfullyacrossthelawnashewounduphistaleoftheunfortunateGroggins，"Yes，indeedIfIkeepsontalkin'away，I'llbecomealaughin'-stock，sameasthatlocoedVance!Thar'sonematterthatallersimbuesmewithaheapofrespectfordeefan'dumbfolks；whichtheyshorelydokeepthingstothemse'fsawholelot。"
　　ItwasfifteenminutesbeforeIcouldconvincemyfriendthathisWolfvillestoriesinnosortdiminishedhisdignity。Also，I
　　remindedhimofapromisetoonedaytellmeofEnright'soneaffairoflove；plainlyhisbondinthatshouldbefulfilled。Atlasthegaveway，andaftercommandingthecomingofafavoriteandhighlyrefreshingbeverage，heldforthasfollows:
　　"It'sneverbeenmybeliefs，"hesaid，"thatSamEnrightwouldhavedippedintothemoldloveconcernsofhisifhe'dbeenhimse'f。
　　Enright'ssickatthetime。Shore!heain'tsicktothep'intofbein'downinhisblankets，an'isstillmeanderin''roundthecampasdootydictatesorhisinterestcalls，buthe'splentyailin'jestthesame。Thar'stheroodimentsofadispootebetweenDocPeetsan'
　　Enrightastowhyhishealththattimeisboggin'down。Peetsputsitupit'saover-accoomulationofalkali；Enrightallowsit'sbecausehe'sbornsolongago。Peetshashisway，however，bein'ascientistthata-way，an'takespossessionofthecase。
　　"No，itain'tthemmaladiesthatsoweakensEnrighthelapsesintoconfidencesabouthisearlylove；butyousee，son，Peetsstopshisnose-paint；won'tlethimdrinksomuchasadrop；an'bein'cutoffshortonnourishmentlikeIsays，itmakesEnright——atleastsoI
　　allersfiggers——somechildishan'light-headed。That'sright；youremovethatgoodoldValleyTanfromthemenuofapartywho'sbeenadherin'an'referrin'toityearafteryearformightylikelyallhisdays，an'itsorto'takesthestiffenin'outenhisdignityalot；hebeginstoonbendan'waxeasyan'confidenshul。Isseemsthenlikehegoesaboutcravin'countenancean'support。An'downondermybelt，itstrikesmeatthetime，an'itshorestrikesmeyet，thatravishin'thecanteenfromEnright，nacherallyenfeebleshiman'setshimtotalkin'antellin'ofpastdays。Oh，hedon'tkeepupthisyereonhealthfulabstinenceforever。Peetsdeclar'sEnrightremovedfromdanger，an'askshimtodrink，himse'f，insideoftwoweeks。
　　"'Whereagent，'saysPeets，elab'ratin'thisyeretheeryofnotdrinkin'none，'hasbeencrookin'hiselbowconstant，an'thengoeswrong，bodily，it'sagreatplaytostophisnose-paintabrupt。It'sashocktohim，sameasaextraaceinapokerdeck；an'whenagent'isill，shocksiswhatheneeds。'
　　"'Butletmesaveyaboutthis，'saysDanBoggs，who'sallersaheapinquis'tivean'searchin'afterknowledge；'doyou-allimposethisonwontedsobrietyasapenalty，ordoyoumaketheplaymeedic'nal？'
　　Meedic'nal，'saysPeets。'Inextremecases，sobrietyisplentycooratif。'
　　"DoesEnrightbowtoDocPeets'demandsaboutnowhiskeythata-way？
　　Son，Peetsisplumbinex'rableaboutthempreescriptionsofhis。Helooksonthemildestargymentag'in'emaspersonalaffronts。Peetsisthemostimmov'blesharp，medical，thateverIcrossesupwith；
　　an'whenitcomestothempreescriptions，therecklessestsportinArizonalaysdownhishand。
　　"OnceIknowsPeetstopassonthefailin'conditionofatenderfootwho'sbunkedinan'allowshe'lldiealotovertotheO。K。
　　Restauraw。Peetsdecidesthisyereshorthornneedsabstinencefromlicker。Peetsbreaksthenewstotheonhappyvictim，an'putshimonwatertillthecrisisshallbepast。Also，PeetsnotifiedtheRedLightnottoheedanyrequestsofthispartyinrespectstosaidnose-paint。
　　"Itturnsoutthissickperson，bonin'forlickerasisplumbnacheral，forgetshimse'fasagentan'sorto'reckonshe'llgetfraudulentwithPeets。Hefiggershe'lljestcomeInjunin'intotheRedLight，quilhimse'faboutafewdrinkssurreptitious，an'thengotrackin'backtohisblankets，an'DocPeetsnonethewiser。So，likeIsays，thisyereillpersonfrontssoftlyuptotheRedLightbaran'callsforValleyTan。
　　"BlackJack，thebarkeep，don'tknowthispartyfromacross-L
　　steer；hegetsthemmandatesfromPeets，butitneverdoesstrikeBlackJackthatthisyereisthedyin'sportalloodedto。Indarknessthata-way，BlackJacktossesaglassonthebaran'shovesthebottle。Itshorelookslikethatfailin'shorthornisgoin'toquitwinner，themrecooperatifs。
　　"But，son，he'sinterrupted。He'sfilledhisglass——an'he'sbeenplentyfreeaboutit——an'standstharwiththebottleinhishand，whentwogunsbark，an'onebulletsmashestheglassan'theotherthebottlewherethispersonisholdin'it。No，thisartillerypracticedon'tstampedemenone；I'mplumbawareit'sDocPeets'
　　derringersfromthego-off。Peetsstandsinthedoor，oneofhislittlepup-gunsineachhand。
　　"'WhichIlikesyouraplomb!'saysBlackJacktoPeets，asheswabsoffthebarinapeevishway。'ImakesitmyboastthatI'mthebest-nacheredbarkeepbetweentheColoradoan'theRioGrande，an'
　　yetI'mfreetoconfess，sechplayschafesme。MayIask，'an'BlackJackstopswipin'thebaran'turnsonPeetsplumbp'lite，'whatyourideeisinthusshootin'yourwayintoacommercialaffairinwhichyouhasnointerest？'
　　"'Thisycrebibulouspersonismypatient，'saysPeets，aheaphaughty。'Ipreescribesnolicker；an'thempreescriptionsisgoin'
　　tobefilled，youbet!ifIhastofill'emwithagun。Whateverdoyou-allreckonamedicalpractitioneris？Doyoufiggerhe'saMexican，an'thathisdiagnosises，thata-way，don'tgo？Inotifiesyouthismornin'asIstandsyeregettin'mythirddrink，thatifthisoutcastcomestrackin'inwithdemandsfornose-paint，torememberhe'ssickan'throwhimoutonhishead。An'yere'showI'mobeyed!'
　　"Which，ofcourse，thisexplainsthingstoBlackJack，an'heseeshisinadvertences。Hecomesoutfrombehindthebartowherethissickmaverickhasdonefaintedintheconfoosion，an'collarshiman'setshimonachar。
　　"'Doc，'saysBlackJack，whenhe'sgotthewiltedgentplantedfirman'safe，'Itendersmyregrets。Havin'neitherbrandsnory'earmarkstoguideby，Ineverrecognizesthispersonasyourinvalidatall；nonewhatever。I'dshorebentagunonhiman'
　　harassedhimbackintohislair，asyourequests，ifIsuspectshisidentity。ToshowI'monthesquar'，Doc，I'lldothispartyanyvoylence，evenatthislatehour，whichyouthinkwillmakeamends。'
　　"'Yourapol'gyisaccepted，'saysPeets，butstillhaughty；'I
　　descernshowyougetsmaladroitthrougherrorsoverwhichyouhasnocontrol。Astothisperson，who'ssofullofstealthycunnin'，he'sallright。Solongashedon'tgetnolicker，novoylenceiscalledforinhiscase。'An'withthatPeetsconductshispatient，who'scometoag'in，backtohisreservation。
　　"ButIonbucklesthisafternoontotellyou-allaboutOldManEnright'searlylove，an'ifIaimstomakethetripbeforethemooncomesup，Ibetterhitthetrailofthemreminiscencesan'nofurtherdelays。
　　"It'sinthebackroomoftheNewYorkStorewherethecasksbe，an'
　　Enright，onwhosenervesan'speritsPeets'preescriptionsof'nolicker'hasbeenfeedin'fortwofulldays，sitstharsorto'
　　fidgin'withhisfingersan'movin'hisfeetinawaywhichshowshe'saheaponaige。Thar'samelancholysettlesonusall，aswecamps'roundoncratesan'shoeboxesan'silentlysympathizeswithEnrighttoseehimsoredooced。Atlastthegrandoldchiefstartsintotalkwithoutquestionsorrequests。
　　"'Ifyou-alldon'tmind，'saysEnright，'I'llletgoahandfulofmem'riestouchin'myyooth。Thar'snothin'likemaladiestomakeagentsentimental，onlessitbegettin'shotuporcutupwithbulletsorbowies；an'theseyerevisitations，whichPeetsthinksisalkalian'Iholdsistheburdensofthemyearsofmine，shoreleavesmeplumbromantic。
　　'WhichI'vebeenthinkin'allday，betweentimeswhenI'mthinkin'
　　oflicker，ofPollyHawks；an'I'llsayrightyereshe'smyfirstan'onlylove。She'safineyoungfemale，isPolly——tallasasaplin'，withaarmonherlikeacant-hook。Pollycanliftan'hangupasideofbeef，an'isasgoodastwohandsatalog-rollin'。
　　"'Thisyere'sbackinoldTennesseeonthebanksoftheCumberland。
　　It'saboutsixyearsfollowin'ontheMexicanwar，an'I'mshotup'ardsintothesemblancesofaman。MyaffectionsforPollyhastheirbeginnin'sinacoon-huntintowhichb'arsan'dogsgetscommingledinpainfulprofoosion。
　　"'Iain'tthewonderofaweekwithariflenow，sinceI'moldan'
　　dim，butthemtimesontheCumberlandIhasfameassech。More'nonce，ag'instthebestthereisineithertheCumberlandortheTennesseebottoms，orontheridgebetween，I'vewonasgoodas，sayfirst，secondandfifthquartersinashootforthebeef。'
　　"'Whateverdoyou-allcallafifthquarterofbeef？'asksDanBoggs。
　　'FourquartersisallI'meverabletocounttotheanamile。'
　　"'It'syoothan'inexperience，'saysEnright，'thatpromptsthemqueries。Thefifthquarteristhehidean'tallow；an'alsothar'sasixthquarter，thesamebein'thebulletsinthestumpwhichmakesthetarget，an'whichisdugoutawholelot，leadbein'plentyinfrequentinthemdaysI'mdreamin'of。
　　"'AsI'msayin'，whenDanlamsloosethemthickheadquestions，I'marenownedshot，an'myweaknessishuntin'b'ars。Ifinds'eman'
　　kills'emthateasy，Ithinksthar'snothin'intheworldbutb'ars。
　　An'whenIain'thuntin'b'ars，I'mlayin'fordeer；an'whenI
　　ain'tlayin'fordeer，I'msquawkin'turkeys；an'whenIain'tsquawkin'turkeys，I'moutnightswithapasselofmisfitdogsI
　　harbors，ashakin'upthesceneryforraccoons。Altogether，I'msomebusyasyou-allmaywellinfer。
　　"'OnenightI'mcoonhuntin'。ThedogstreesoveronRapidRun。WhenIarrives，thewholepackiscirkled'roundthebaseofabigbeech，singin'；myoldAndrewJacksondogleadin'thechoirwiththeair，an'myThomasBentondoggrowlin'bass，whiletheotherswarbleswhatpartstheywill，indiscrim'nate。
　　"'Nacherally，thedogscan'tclimbthetreenone，an'Ihastomakethatplaymyse'f。Ilaysdownmygun，an'shucksmybeltsan'knife，an'goesswarmin'upthebeech。It'sshorelyateediousenterprise，an'someroughbesides。Thatbeechseemsasfullofspikesan'
　　thornsasahoneylocust——itsasorto'porkypineofatree。
　　"'WhichIworksmylaceratedwayintothelowerbranches，an'then，glancesupag'inthefirmamentstolocatethecoon。Heain'tvis'blenone；he'shigherupan'theleavesan'breshhideshim。IgoesontillI'mtwentyfootfromtheground；thenIlooksupag'in，"'Gents，itain'tnocoon；it'sab'ar，blackaspaintan'asbigasabaggagewagon。Heain'ttwofootabovemetoo；an'thesightofhim，settin'tharlikeablackbaleofcotton，an'hisnearness，an'
　　partic'larlyafewterseremarksheletsdrop，comesmightyclosttoastonishin'metodeath。Ithinksofmygun；an'thenIletsgoallboltstogoan'getit。Shore，Ifallsoutenthetree；tharain'tnotimetodescendslowan'dignified。
　　"'AsIcomescrashin'alongthroughthembeechboughs，itinculcatesamisonderstandin'amongthedogs。AndrewJackson，ThomasBentonan'
　　theothersisconvokedaboutthattreeonapurelycoontheery。Theyexpectsmetoknockthecoondownto'em。Theyshorelydonotexpectmetocometumblin'nonemyse'f。IttharforebefallsthatwhenI
　　makesmydebooamong'em，themcanines，blindedan'besottedasI
　　saywiththoughtsofcoon，prouncesuponmeinabody。Everydogrendsoffaspecimentofme。Theydon'tbitetwice；theyperceivesbythetastethatitain'tnocoonan'desists。
　　"'WhichIdon'treckontheirworryin'mewouldhavebecomeacontinyoousperformancenohow；formean'thedogsishardlytangledupthata-way，whenwe'reinterferedwithbytheb'ar。LooksliketheexampleIsetsisinfectious；forwhenIletsgo，theb'arletsgo；an'Ihardlyhitsthegroundan'becomestheragin'centerofinteresttoAndrewJackson，ThomasBentonan'themothers，whentheb'arisdownonallofusliketheoldCumberlandonasandbardoorin'aspringrise。Ishoreregyardshisadventthata-wayasthedayofjedgment。
　　"'No，wedon'tcorralhim。Theb'arsimplyr'arsbacklongenoughtoputAndrewJacksonan'ThomasBentonintomournin'，an'thengoesscuttlin'offthroughthebusheslikethegraceofheaventhroughacamp-meetin'。Asformyse'f，Ilaysthar；an'whatbetweendogan'
　　b'aran'thefallIgets，I'mascompletelyathingofthepastaseverfindsrefoogeinthatstripoftimber。AsnearasImakesoutbyfeelin'ofmyse'f，Iain'tfittomakegourdsoutof。Ofcourse，she'samistakeonthepartofthedogs，an'plumbaccidentalasfarastheb'ar'sconcerned；butitshorecrumplesmeupasentirelyasifthisyereoutfitofanamilesplotstheplayforamonth。
　　"'Withthelastflickerofmyfailin'strength，Icrawlstomyoldgent'steepeean'istookin。An'youshoreshouldhaveheardthelanguageofthathouseholdwhentheyseesthefullan'awfulextentthemdogsan'thatb'arlaysmewaste。WhichI'mlayedupeightweeks。
　　"'Myoldgentgoesgrumblin'offinthemornin'，an'roundsupoldAuntTillyHawkstonurseme。OldAuntTillylivesoveronthePaintedPost，an'isplumblearnedinyarbsan'sechasInjunturnips，opydeldock，live-forever，skoke-berryroots，jinsonan'
　　whitewoodbark。An'sotheyropesupAuntTillyHawksan'tellshertorideherdonmywoundsan'dislocations。
　　"'ButI'mplumbweakan'nervousan'can'tstandAuntTillynone。
　　Sheain'tgotnoupperteeth，sameasacow，herfaceiswrinkledlikeaburntboot，an'shedipssnuff。Moreover，shegivesmethehorrorsbyallerssingin'inaquaverin'way"'Harkfromthetombsadolefulsound，Miney'earsattendthecry。
　　Yelivin'mencomeviewthegroundWhereyoushallshortlylie。
　　"'AuntTillysoundsaheaplikeatea-kettlewhenshe'srenderin'
　　thisyeremadrigal，an'that，an'thewords，an'alltherest，makesmegloomyan'dejected。I'mshorepinin'awayondertheseyeremaligninflooences，whenmyoldgentnotesIain'trecooperatin'，an'soheguessesthecause；an'withthathegivesAuntTillyalay-off，an'tellshertosendalongherniecePollytotakeherplace，"'Thar'saencouragin'difference。Pollyisbigan'stronglikeI
　　states；buthereyesislikestars，an'she'sasfullofsweetnessasabeetreeorabar'lofm'lasses。SoPollycampsdownbymycouchofpainan'beginsdallyin'soothin'lywithmyheatedbrow。I
　　commencesrecoverin'fromthemattacksofb'arsan'dogsinstanter。
　　"'ThisyerePollyHawksain'tnonenewtome。Ineverco'tsher；butImeetsherfrequentatbarnraisin'san'quiltin's，whichallerswindsupinadance；an'inthemgamesan'merriments，sechas"bowin'tothewittiest，kneelin'totheprettiest，an'kissin'theoneyoulovesthebest，"ImorethanonceregyardsPollyasanalloorin'formofhoomanhollyhock，an'selectsher。Butthar'snoflushofburnin'love；nothin'norethanthemamiableformalitieswhichbefitstheo'casion。
　　"'WhilethisyerePollyisnursin'me，however，shetakesonadifferentattitoodeawholelot。ItlookslikeIbeginstoneedherpermanent，an'everytimeIsetsmyeyesonherIfeelsassoftasb'ar'sgrease。It'sshorelylove；thatPollyHawksisassweetan'
　　lusciousasaroastapple。'
　　"'Isshefortroosolovely？'asksFaroNell，who'sbeenhangin'
　　ontoEnright'swords。
　　"'Frankly，Nellie，'saysEnright，sorto'pinchin'downhisbluff；
　　'nowthatI'mca'meran'mybloodiscool，thisyerePollydon'tseemsoplumbprismatic。Still，Imustsay，she'splentyradiant。'
　　"'Doesyou-all，'saysDanBoggs，'putthisyerePollyinnom'nationtobeyourwifewhileyou'requiledupsick？'
　　"'No，IdefersthemofferstomomentswhenI'mmorerobust，'saysEnright。
　　"'Youshoreoughterrodeatherwhileyou'resickthata-way，'
　　remonstratesBoggs。'That'sthetimetosetyourstackdown。Femalesiseasymovedtopity，an'，asI'veheared——forI'venothin'togoby，personal，sinceI'mnevermarriedan'isneversicknone——isaheapmorepronetowedagentwho'ssick，thanwhenhe'swellalot。'
　　"'Iholdsthemdoctrinesmyse'f，'observesEnright；'however，I
　　don'tdescendonPollywithnoprop'sitions，neitherthennorfinal，asyou-allshallhear，Dan，ifyou'llonlyholdyourse'fdown。No，I
　　continyoosonlovin'Pollytomyse'fthata-way，ontilI'mabletogopokin'aboutoncrutches；an'then，asthar'snomoreneedofherministrations，PollylinesoutforoldAuntTilly'scabinag'in。
　　"'It'satthisyerejuncturethingshappenswhichsorto'
　　complicatesthendreamsofmine。WhileIain'tbeensayin'nothin'，an'hasbeenplumbreticentastomyfeelin's，jestthesame，bylookoract，ormebbyit'sasigh，Itipsoffmyhand。Itain'tnotimebeforealltheneighborsisawareofmyloveforPollyHawks。
　　Also，thisPollyhasaloverwhoitlookslikehasbeenco'tin'her，an'bringin'herminkpeltsan'wildturkeysindeescrim'nate，formonths。IneverdohearofthisgentontilI'mcripplin''roundonthemstiltsofcrutches；an'thenIain'tinformedofhimnoneonlyafterhe'sinformedofme。
　　"'Thar'sameasleylittlelimberjawofapartywhosenameisIkeSparks；thisIkeisallersrunnin'abouttellin'thingsan'settin'
　　trapstocapturetroubleforotherfolks。Ikeisaorneryanamile——
　　littlean'furtif——meanenoughtosuckaigs，an'cunnin'enoughtohidetheshells。Hehateseverybody，thisIkedoes；an'he'sassuspiciousasBillJohnson'sdog，whichlastisthatdoubtfulan'
　　suspiciousheshorewalkssidewaysallhislifeforfearsomeone'sgoin'tokickhim。Thislow-downIkeimpartstoPolly'sotherloveraboutthestateofmyfeelin's；an'thenitain'tnotimewhenI
　　getsnoticeofthissport'sexistence。
　　"'It'sinthelickerroomofthetavernatPineKnot，towhichscenesI'vescrambledonthemcrutchesoneevenin'，wherethispartyfirstmeetsupwithmeinperson。He'sabig，tallcitizenwithlanky，longha'r，an'isdressedinablankethuntin'shirtan'hasacoon-skincapwiththetailhangin'overhislefty'ear。Also，hepacksaHawkinsrifle，bulletsaboutfortytothepound。Formyse'f，Idon'tgetentrancednonewiththisperson'slooks，an'asIain'tfit，physical，fornoskrimmage，Ihastosingplumblow。
　　"'Thar'sabandofussettin''roundwhenthisloverofPolly'sshowsinthedoor，drinkin'an'warblin'thatentertainin'ditty，whichgoes:"
　　"'"Tharsitsadog，byabarndoor，An'Bingoishisname，O!
　　An'Bingoishisname。"
　　"'AsPolly'sotherbeaucomesin，weceasesthisrefrain。Hepitcheshisrifletothelandlordoverthebar，an'callsforaBaldfacewhiskeytoddy。Hetakesfourorfivedrinks，contemplatin'usmeanwhileaheapdisdainful。Thenhearcheshisback，bendshiselbows，beginsawar-song，an'goesdancin'stiff-laiglikeaInjun，infrontofthebar。Thisishowthisextravagantpartysings。It'swhatColonelSterett，yere，towhomIrepeatsitformer，calls"blanketverse。"
　　"'"Letallthesonsofmenb'arwitness!"singsthisgent，ashegoesskatin'stiff-laigaboutinaringlikeIrelates，armsbent，an'backarched；"letallthesonsofmenb'arwitness；an'
　　speshullyletacowerin'varmint，namedSamEnright，sizemeupan'
　　shudder!I'mthemakerofdesertsan'thewall-eyedharbingerofdesolation!I'mkintorattlesnakesonmymother'sside；I'mkingofalltheeaglesan'fullbrothertotheb'ars!I'mthebloo-eyedlynxofWhiskeyCrossin'，an'Iweighsfourthousandpounds!I'mahe-
　　steamboat；I'veputacrimpinacat-a-mountwithnothin'butmylivin'hands!Ibrokeafull-grownallagatoracrossmyknee，torehimasunderan'showeredhisshrinkin'fragmentsoverafullsectionofland!Ihuggedacinnamonb'artodeath，an'madeagrizzlypleadformercy!Who'llcomegougewithme？Who'llcomebitewithme？
　　Who'llcomeputhisknucklesinmyback？I'mWeasel-eye，thedeadshot；I'mtheblood-drinkin'，skelp-t'arin'，knife-plyin'demonofSunflowerCreek!Theflashofmyglancewilldeadenawhiteoak，an'
　　myscreechinangerwillbackthepantherplumboffhisnatifheath!
　　I'maslayeran'aslaughterer，an'Icooksan'eatsmydead!IcanwadetheCumberlandwithoutwettin'myse'f，an'Idrinksoutenthespringwithouttouchin'theground!I'maswinge-cat；butIwarnsyounottobemisledbymylooks!I'maflyin'bison，an'
　　deevastationridesuponmybreath!Whoop!whoop!whoopee!I'mthePurpleBlossomofGinghamMountain，an'whereisthatsonofthunderwho'lltryan'nipmeinthebud!Whoop!whoopee!I'myeretofightordrinkwithanysport；anyoneorboth!Whoopee!Whereisthestatelystagtostamphishooforraphisantlerstomyproclamations!Whereisthatboundin'buck!Whoopee!whoop!whoop!"
　　"'ThenthisyerevociferousPurpleBlossompausesforbreath；butkeepsuphisstilt-laigdance，considerin'memeanwhilewithhiseye，plentybaleful。We-allonourpartsisviewin'himoveraheaprespectful，an'ain'tretortin'aword。Thenhebeginsag'inwithayelpthatwouldstampedeafieldofcorn。
　　"'"WhoistharlovelierthanPollyHawks!"heshouts。"Showmethefemalemoreentrancin'，an'letmedropdeadatherfeet!WhoislovelierthanPollyHawks，thesweetheartofFlyin'Bison，theonchainedtornadoofthehills!FeastyourgazeonPollyHawks；herbeautywouldmelttheheartofNacher!I'mthePurpleBlossomofGinghamMountain；PollyHawksshallmarryan'followmetomywigwam!Herbedshallbeofb'ar-skins；herfoodshallbeyearlin'
　　venison，an'wildhoneyfromthetree!Hergownshallbepanther'speltsfringed'roundwithwolf-tailsan'eagles'claws!Sheshallbeltherse'fwitharattlesnake，an'herSundaybonnetshallbeaswarmofbees!WhenIkissheritsoundslikethecrackofawhip，an'Iwouldn'tpartwithherfortwentycows!Wewillwedan'
　　pop'latetheearthwithterror!Whereisthesooicidewho'llstandinmyway？"
　　"'Atthisp'intthePurpleBlossomleavesoffdancin'an'frontsuptome，personal。
　　"'"Whoopee!"hesays；"saythatyoudon'tlovethegirlan'I'llgiveyouonehundreddollarsbeforeIspillsyourlife!"
　　"'Which，ofcourse，alltheseyeremoosicalan'terpshicoreenpreeliminariesmeanssimplysomuchwarbetweenmean'thissperitedbeauofPolly's，toseewho'llownthelady'sheart。IexplainsthatI'mnotjestthenfitforcombat，sufferin'asIbefromthatoverabundanceofdogan'b'ar。ThePurpleBlossomisplumbp'lite，an'sayshedon'thungertowhipnocripples。Thenhenamesadaytwomonthsawaywhenheallowshe'llshoredescendfromGinghamMountain，meltmedownan'runmeintocandlestoburnattheweddin'ofhiman'PollyHawks。Thenwedrinkstogether，allfraternal，an'hegivesmeachewoftobaccooutenabox，madeoftheheadofabaldeagle，intokenofamity，thata-way。
　　"'ButthatrumpusbetweenthePurpleBlossoman'meneverdoescomeoff；an'themritesovermean'Pollyisindef'nitelypostponed。Thefactis，Ihastoleavealot。Istartsouttocommitajoke，an'itturnsoutacrime；an'soIgoesstreakin'itfromthescenesofmyyoothfulfrolicsforsaferstampin'grounds。
　　"'It'smebbysixweeksfollowin'themdeclarationsofthePurpleBlossom。It'sco'tdayatWar-whoopCrossin'，an'theJedgean'
　　everylaw-sharponthatcircuitcomestrailin'intocamp。ThisyereoutfitofWarwhoopisspeshulfretfulag'installformsofgamblin'。
　　WhereforetheJedge，an'thestate'sattorney，an'mebbyfiveotherspeculators，atnightadjournstothecabinofaflat-boatwhichistiedupatthefootofthelevee，so'stheycandivertthemse'fswithalittledraw-pokerwithoutshockin'thehamletan'gettin'
　　themse'fsarrestedan'finedsome。
　　"'It'sgonetoaboutfourthdrinktimeaftersupper，an'I'mromancin'about，tryin'tofiggerouthowI'mtowinPolly，whenasI'mwaltzin'alongthelevee——I'mplumbalone，an'thetownitse'fhasturnedintoitsblankets——Igetssightofthisyerepokerfestivalragin'inthecabin。Thartheybe，antein'，goin'itblind，straddlin'，raisin'beforethedraw，bluffin'，an'bettin'，an'
　　havin'thetimeoftheirc'reers。
　　"'It'sthespringflood，an'theoldCumberlandisbank-fullan'
　　stilla-risin'。Theflatboatissoftlyraisin'an'fallin'onthesobbin'tide。It'sthenthemjocularimpulsesseizesme，thata-way；
　　an'Istoopsan'castsoffheroneline，an'thatflatboatswimssilentlyawayonthebosomoftheriver。Thesportsinsideknowsnothin'an'guessesless，an'theirgayetyswellsonwithoutahitch。
　　"'It'sthreeo'clockan'JedgeFinn，who'swonaboutahundredan'
　　sixtydollars，realizesit'sallthemoneyintheoutfit，an'getscoldfeetplentyprompt。Hemurmurssomethin'abouttellin'theoldladyFinnhe'dbeinearly，an'shovesbackamidstthescoffsan'
　　jeersofthelosers。ButthegoodoldJedgedon'tmind，an'openin'
　　thedoor，hegoesoutintothenightan'thedark，an'carefullypickshiswayoverboardintofortyfootofwater。TheyelltheJedgeemitsashemakeshislittleholeintheCumberlandisthefirstnewsthemkyardsharpsgetsthatthey'reafloatawholelot。
　　"'Itain'tnopush-overrescooin'JedgeFinnthattime。Theonehundredan'sixtyisinMexicanmoney，an'he'sgotapoundortwoofitsinkeredabouthisoldframeineverypocket；sohegoestothebottomlikeakagofnails。
　　"'Buttheyworkshard，an'atlastfisheshimout，an'rollshimoverabar'ltogetthewateran'themoneyoutenhim。Whichondersechtreatment，theJedgedisgorgesboth，an'atlastcomestoatriflean'isfedwhiskeywithaspoon。
　　"'Havin'savedtheJedge，theothersturnslooseavolleyofyellsthatshorelyscaresupthemechoesfaran'wide。Itwakesupalittleoldtugthat'stiedinDeadNiggerBend，an'shefiresupan'
　　pushesforthtotheirrelief。Thetughauls'embacktoWarwhoopforseventydollars，whichispaidoutoftherescooedtreasureofJedgeFinn，thesamebein'declar'dsalvagebythembanditshe'sbeenplayin'with。
　　"'It'stwoo'clockintheafternoonwhenthatbandofgamblerspullsupag'inatWarwhoop，an'they'reshorelyasaddenedpartyastheyfilesashore。Thevillageistharinafrownin'an'resentfulbodytoarrest'emforthemvoylations，whichisaccordin'done。
　　"'Atthesametime，Iregyardstheplayasthefunniest，ondoubted，that'severbeenevolvedinTennessee；butmymoodchangesassubsequenteventsassoomesasomberface。OldJedgeFinngoesfumin'
　　aboutlikeawrongedlion，an'therestisashotaselectiondayinahornet'snest。Pards，I'maMexican!iftheydon'tindictmeforpiracyonthehighseas，an'pledgetheirwordstoseemehangedbeforeeverco'tadjourns。
　　"'Thatletsmeout，rightthar!Iseesthesymptomsofmyonpop'larityinadvance，an'don'tprocrastinatenone。Igoessailin'overthedividetotheTennessee，downtheTennesseetotheOhio，downtheOhiototheMississippi，downtheMississippitotheArkansaw，uptheArkansawtoLittleRock；an'tharIpauses，exhaustedshore，butsafeasamurdererinGeorgia。WhichIneverdoesgobackforplumbtenyears。
　　"'Nacherally，becauseofthisyereexodus，ImissesmyengagementswiththePurpleBlossom；alsothemnuptialsIplotsaboutPollyHawks，suffersthekyboshawholelot。However，Isurvives，an'
　　Pollysurvives；shean'thePurpleBlossomhooksupamonthlater，an'Ilearnssincetheyshorehasoffspringsenoughtopackaprimaryorstartapublicschool。It'salloverlongago，an'I'mgladthekyardsfallsastheydo。Still，asIintimates，thar'sthemmomentsofromancetoridemedown，whenIremembersmyoneloneloveaffairwithPollyHawks，thebeautyofthePaintedPost。'
　　"Enrightpauses，an'we-allsetsstillamomentoutofrespectstotheoldchief。AtlastDanBoggs，who'salwaysbubblin'thata-way，speaksup:
　　"'WhichI'mshoresorry，'saysDan，'youdon'tfetchthemoosicofthatPurpleBlossom'swar-songWest。Ideemsthatamightyexcellentlay，an'wouldadmiretolearnitan'singitsomemyse'f。I'dshoregooveran'carolittoRedDog；itwouldredoocethemdrunkardstofrenzy。"'