首页 >出版文学> WIELAND,OR THE TRANSFORMATION>第10章
  "Mywifehadremainedhereduringmyabsence,inanxiousexpectationofmyreturnwithsometidingsofhersister。Ihadnonetocommunicate。Foratime,Iwasbreathlesswithmyspeed:This,andthetremorsthatshookmyframe,andthewildnessofmylooks,alarmedher。Sheimmediatelysuspectedsomedisastertohavehappenedtoherfriend,andherownspeechwasasmuchoverpoweredbyemotionasmine。
  "Shewassilent,butherlooksmanifestedherimpatiencetohearwhatIhadtocommunicate。Ispoke,butwithsomuchprecipitationasscarcelytobeunderstood;catchingher,atthesametime,bythearm,andforciblypullingherfromherseat。
  "Comealongwithme:fly:wastenotamoment:timewillbelost,andthedeedwillbeomitted。Tarrynot;questionnot;
  butflywithme!
  "Thisdeportmentaddedafreshtoheralarms。Hereyespursuedmine,andshesaid,"Whatisthematter?ForGod'ssakewhatisthematter?Wherewouldyouhavemego?"
  "Myeyeswerefixeduponhercountenancewhileshespoke。I
  thoughtuponhervirtues;Iviewedherasthemotherofmybabes:asmywife:IrecalledthepurposeforwhichIthusurgedherattendance。Myheartfaltered,andIsawthatImustrousetothisworkallmyfaculties。Thedangeroftheleastdelaywasimminent。
  "Ilookedawayfromher,andagainexertingmyforce,drewhertowardsthedoor——'Youmustgowithme——indeedyoumust。'
  "Inherfrightshehalf-resistedmyefforts,andagainexclaimed,'Goodheaven!whatisityoumean?Wherego?Whathashappened?HaveyoufoundClara?"
  "Followme,andyouwillsee,"Ianswered,stillurgingherreluctantstepsforward。
  "Whatphrenzyhasseizedyou?Somethingmustneedshavehappened。Isshesick?Haveyoufoundher?"
  "Comeandsee。Followme,andknowforyourself。"
  "Stillsheexpostulatedandbesoughtmetoexplainthismysteriousbehaviour。Icouldnottrustmyselftoanswerher;
  tolookather;butgraspingherarm,Idrewherafterme。Shehesitated,ratherthroughconfusionofmindthanfromunwillingnesstoaccompanyme。Thisconfusiongraduallyabated,andshemovedforward,butwithirresolutefootsteps,andcontinualexclamationsofwonderandterror。HerinterrogationsOf"whatwasthematter?"and"whitherwasIgoing?"wereceaselessandvehement。
  "Itwasthescopeofmyeffortsnottothink;tokeepupaconflictanduproarinmymindinwhichallorderanddistinctnessshouldbelost;toescapefromthesensationsproducedbyhervoice。Iwas,therefore,silent。Istrovetoabridgethisintervalbymyhaste,andtowasteallmyattentioninfuriousgesticulations。
  "Inthisstateofmindwereachedmysister'sdoor。Shelookedatthewindowsandsawthatallwasdesolate——"Whycomewehere?Thereisnobodyhere。Iwillnotgoin。"
  "StillIwasdumb;butopeningthedoor,Idrewherintotheentry。Thiswastheallottedscene:hereshewastofall。I
  letgoherhand,andpressingmypalmsagainstmyforehead,madeonemightyefforttoworkupmysoultothedeed。
  "Invain;itwouldnotbe;mycouragewasappalled;myarmsnerveless:Imutteredprayersthatmystrengthmightbeaidedfromabove。Theyavailednothing。
  "Horrordiffuseditselfoverme。Thisconvictionofmycowardice,myrebellion,fasteneduponme,andIstoodrigidandcoldasmarble。FromthisstateIwassomewhatrelievedbymywife'svoice,whorenewedhersupplicationstobetoldwhywecamehither,andwhatwasthefateofmysister。
  "WhatcouldIanswer?Mywordswerebrokenandinarticulate。
  Herfearsnaturallyacquiredforcefromtheobservationofthesesymptoms;butthesefearsweremisplaced。Theonlyinferenceshededucedfrommyconductwas,thatsometerriblemishaphadbefallenClara。
  "Shewrungherhands,andexclaimedinanagony,"Otellme,whereisshe?Whathasbecomeofher?Isshesick?Dead?Issheinherchamber?Oletmegothitherandknowtheworst!"
  "Thisproposalsetmythoughtsoncemoreinmotion。Perhapswhatmyrebelliousheartrefusedtoperformhere,Imightobtainstrengthenoughtoexecuteelsewhere。
  "Comethen,"saidI,"letusgo。"
  "Iwill,butnotinthedark。Wemustfirstprocurealight。"
  "Flythenandprocureit;butIchargeyou,lingernot。I
  willawaitforyourreturn。
  "Whileshewasgone,Istrodealongtheentry。Thefellnessofagloomyhurricanebutfaintlyresembledthediscordthatreignedinmymind。Toomitthissacrificemustnotbe;yetmysinewshadrefusedtoperformit。Noalternativewasoffered。
  Torebelagainstthemandatewasimpossible;butobediencewouldrendermetheexecutionerofmywife。Mywillwasstrong,butmylimbsrefusedtheiroffice。
  "Shereturnedwithalight;Iledthewaytothechamber;shelookedroundher;sheliftedthecurtainofthebed;shesawnothing。
  "Atlength,shefixedinquiringeyesuponme。Thelightnowenabledhertodiscoverinmyvisagewhatdarknesshadhithertoconcealed。Hercareswerenowtransferredfrommysistertomyself,andshesaidinatremulousvoice,"Wieland!youarenotwell:Whatailsyou?CanIdonothingforyou?"
  "Thataccentsandlookssowinningshoulddisarmmeofmyresolution,wastobeexpected。Mythoughtswerethrownanewintoanarchy。IspreadmyhandbeforemyeyesthatImightnotseeher,andansweredonlybygroans。Shetookmyotherhandbetweenher's,andpressingittoherheart,spokewiththatvoicewhichhadeverswayedmywill,andwaftedawaysorrow。
  "Myfriend!mysoul'sfriend!tellmethycauseofgrief。DoInotmerittopartakewiththeeinthycares?AmInotthywife?"
  "Thiswastoomuch。Ibrokefromherembrace,andretiredtoacorneroftheroom。Inthispause,couragewasoncemoreinfusedintome。Iresolvedtoexecutemyduty。Shefollowedme,andrenewedherpassionateentreatiestoknowthecauseofmydistress。
  "Iraisedmyheadandregardedherwithstedfastlooks。I
  mutteredsomethingaboutdeath,andtheinjunctionsofmyduty。
  Atthesewordssheshrunkback,andlookedatmewithanewexpressionofanguish。Afterapause,sheclaspedherhands,andexclaimed——
  "OWieland!Wieland!GodgrantthatIammistaken;butsurelysomethingiswrong。Iseeit:itistooplain:thouartundone——losttomeandtothyself。"Atthesametimeshegazedonmyfeatureswithintensestanxiety,inhopethatdifferentsymptomswouldtakeplace。Irepliedtoherwithvehemence——
  "Undone!No;mydutyisknown,andIthankmyGodthatmycowardiceisnowvanquished,andIhavepowertofulfilit。
  Catharine!Ipitytheweaknessofthynature:Ipitythee,butmustnotspare。Thylifeisclaimedfrommyhands:thoumustdie!"
  "Fearwasnowaddedtohergrief。'Whatmeanyou?Whytalkyouofdeath?Bethinkyourself,Wieland:bethinkyourself,andthisfitwillpass。OwhycameIhither!Whydidyoudragmehither?'
  "Ibroughttheehithertofulfiladivinecommand。Iamappointedthydestroyer,anddestroytheeImust。"SayingthisIseizedherwrists。Sheshriekedaloud,andendeavouredtofreeherselffrommygrasp;buthereffortswerevain。
  "Surely,surelyWieland,thoudostnotmeanit。AmInotthywife?andwouldstthoukillme?Thouwiltnot;andyet——I
  see——thouartWielandnolonger!Afuryresistlessandhorriblepossessesthee——Spareme——spare——help——help——"
  "Tillherbreathwasstoppedsheshriekedforhelp——formercy。Whenshecouldspeaknolonger,hergestures,herlooksappealedtomycompassion。Myaccursedhandwasirresoluteandtremulous。Imeantthydeathtobesudden,thystrugglestobebrief。Alas!myheartwasinfirm;myresolvesmutable。ThriceIslackenedmygrasp,andlifekeptitshold,thoughinthemidstofpangs。Hereye-ballsstartedfromtheirsockets。
  Grimnessanddistortiontookplaceofallthatusedtobewitchmeintotransport,andsubduemeintoreverence。
  "Iwascommissionedtokillthee,butnottotormenttheewiththeforesightofthydeath;nottomultiplythyfears,andprolongthyagonies。Haggard,andpale,andlifeless,atlengththouceasedsttocontendwiththydestiny。
  "Thiswasamomentoftriumph。ThushadIsuccessfullysubduedthestubbornnessofhumanpassions:thevictimwhichhadbeendemandedwasgiven:thedeedwasdonepastrecal。
  "Iliftedthecorpseinmyarmsandlaiditonthebed。I
  gazeduponitwithdelight。Suchwastheelationofmythoughts,thatIevenbrokeintolaughter。Iclappedmyhandsandexclaimed,'Itisdone!Mysacreddutyisfulfilled!TothatIhavesacrificed,OmyGod!thylastandbestgift,mywife!'
  "ForawhileIthussoaredabovefrailty。IimaginedIhadsetmyselfforeverbeyondthereachofselfishness;butmyimaginationswerefalse。Thisrapturequicklysubsided。I
  lookedagainatmywife。Myjoyousebullitionsvanished,andI
  askedmyselfwhoitwaswhomIsaw?MethoughtitcouldnotbeCatharine。Itcouldnotbethewomanwhohadlodgedforyearsinmyheart;whohadslept,nightly,inmybosom;whohadborneinherwomb,whohadfosteredatherbreast,thebeingswhocalledmefather;whomIhadwatchedwithdelight,andcherishedwithafondnessevernewandperpetuallygrowing:itcouldnotbethesame。
  "Wherewasherbloom!Thesedeadlyandblood-suffusedorbsbutillresembletheazureandexstatictendernessofhereyes。
  Thelucidstreamthatmeanderedoverthatbosom,theglowoflovethatwaswonttosituponthatcheek,aremuchunliketheselividstainsandthishideousdeformity。Alas!thesewerethetracesofagony;thegripeoftheassassinhadbeenhere!
  "Iwillnotdwelluponmylapseintodesperateandoutrageoussorrow。ThebreathofheaventhatsustainedmewaswithdrawnandIsunkintoMEREMAN。Ileapedfromthefloor:I
  dashedmyheadagainstthewall:Iutteredscreamsofhorror:
  Ipantedaftertormentandpain。Eternalfire,andthebickeringsofhell,comparedwithwhatIfelt,weremusicandabedofroses。
  "IthankmyGodthatthisdegeneracywastransient,thathedeignedoncemoretoraisemealoft。IthoughtuponwhatIhaddoneasasacrificetoduty,andWASCALM。Mywifewasdead;butIreflected,thatthoughthissourceofhumanconsolationwasclosed,yetotherswerestillopen。Ifthetransportsofanhusbandwerenomore,thefeelingsofafatherhadstillscopeforexercise。Whenremembranceoftheirmothershouldexcitetookeenapang,Iwouldlookuponthem,andBE
  COMFORTED。
  "WhileIrevolvedtheseideas,newwarmthflowedinuponmyheart——Iwaswrong。Thesefeelingswerethegrowthofselfishness。OfthisIwasnotaware,andtodispelthemistthatobscuredmyperceptions,aneweffulgenceandanewmandatewerenecessary。
  "FromthesethoughtsIwasrecalledbyaraythatwasshotintotheroom。AvoicespakelikethatwhichIhadbeforeheard——'Thouhastdonewell;butallisnotdone——thesacrificeisincomplete——thychildrenmustbeoffered——theymustperishwiththeirmother!——'
  ChapterXX
  WillyouwonderthatIreadnofarther?WillyounotratherbeastonishedthatIreadthusfar?WhatpowersupportedmethroughsuchataskIknownot。PerhapsthedoubtfromwhichI
  couldnotdisengagemymind,thatthesceneheredepictedwasadream,contributedtomyperseverance。Invainthesolemnintroductionofmyuncle,hisappealstomyfortitude,andallusionstosomethingmonstrousintheeventshewasabouttodisclose;invainthedistressfulperplexity,themysterioussilenceandambiguousanswersofmyattendants,especiallywhentheconditionofmybrotherwasthethemeofmyinquiries,wereremembered。IrecalledtheinterviewwithWielandinmychamber,hispreternaturaltranquillitysucceededbyburstsofpassionandmenacingactions。Allthesecoincidedwiththetenorofthispaper。
  Catharineandherchildren,andLouisaweredead。Theactthatdestroyedthemwas,inthehighestdegree,inhuman。Itwasworthyofsavagestrainedtomurder,andexultinginagonies。
  Whowastheperformerofthedeed?Wieland!Mybrother!
  Thehusbandandthefather!Thatmanofgentlevirtuesandinvinciblebenignity!placableandmild——anidolatorofpeace!
  Surely,saidI,itisadream。FormanydayshaveIbeenvexedwithfrenzy。Itsdominionisstillfelt;butnewformsarecalleduptodiversifyandaugmentmytorments。
  Thepaperdroppedfrommyhand,andmyeyesfollowedit。I
  shrunkback,asiftoavoidsomepetrifyinginfluencethatapproachedme。Mytonguewasmute;allthefunctionsofnaturewereatastand,andIsunkuponthefloorlifeless。
  Thenoiseofmyfall,asIafterwardsheard,alarmedmyuncle,whowasinalowerapartment,andwhoseapprehensionshaddetainedhim。Hehastenedtomychamber,andadministeredtheassistancewhichmyconditionrequired。WhenIopenedmyeyesIbeheldhimbeforeme。Hisskillasareasoneraswellasaphysician,wasexertedtoobviatetheinjuriouseffectsofthisdisclosure;buthehadwronglyestimatedthestrengthofmybodyorofmymind。Thisnewshockbroughtmeoncemoretothebrinkofthegrave,andmymaladywasmuchmoredifficulttosubduethanatfirst。
  Iwillnotdwelluponthelongtrainofdrearysensations,andthehideousconfusionofmyunderstanding。Timeslowlyrestoreditscustomaryfirmnesstomyframe,andordertomythoughts。Theimagesimpresseduponmymindbythisfatalpaperweresomewhateffacedbymymalady。Theywereobscureanddisjointedlikethepartsofadream。Iwasdesirousoffreeingmyimaginationfromthischaos。ForthisendIquestionedmyuncle,whowasmyconstantcompanion。Hewasintimidatedbytheissueofhisfirstexperiment,andtookpainstoeludeordiscouragemyinquiry。Myimpetuositysometimescompelledhimtohaveresorttomisrepresentationsanduntruths。
  Timeeffectedthatend,perhaps,inamorebeneficialmanner。
  Inthecourseofmymeditationstherecollectionsofthepastgraduallybecamemoredistinct。Irevolvedthem,however,insilence,andbeingnolongeraccompaniedwithsurprize,theydidnotexerciseadeath-dealingpower。Ihaddiscontinuedtheperusalofthepaperinthemidstofthenarrative;butwhatI
  read,combinedwithinformationelsewhereobtained,threw,perhaps,asufficientlightuponthesedetestabletransactions;
  yetmycuriositywasnotinactive。Idesiredtoperusetheremainder。
  Myeagernesstoknowtheparticularsofthistalewasmingledandabatedbymyantipathytothescenewhichwouldbedisclosed。HenceIemployednomeanstoeffectmypurpose。I
  desiredknowledge,and,atthesametime,shrunkbackfromreceivingtheboon。
  Onemorning,beingleftalone,Irosefrommybed,andwenttoadrawerwheremyfinerclothingusedtobekept。Iopenedit,andthisfatalpapersalutedmysight。Isnatcheditinvoluntarily,andwithdrewtoachair。Idebated,forafewminutes,whetherIshouldopenandread。Nowthatmyfortitudewasputtotrial,itfailed。Ifeltmyselfincapableofdeliberatelysurveyingasceneofsomuchhorror。Iwaspromptedtoreturnittoitsplace,butthisresolutiongaveway,andIdeterminedtoperusesomepartofit。IturnedovertheleavestillIcameneartheconclusion。Thenarrativeofthecriminalwasfinished。TheverdictofGUILTYreluctantlypronouncedbythejury,andtheaccusedinterrogatedwhysentenceofdeathshouldnotpass。Theanswerwasbrief,solemn,andemphatical。
  "No。Ihavenothingtosay。Mytalehasbeentold。Mymotiveshavebeentrulystated。Ifmyjudgesareunabletodiscernthepurityofmyintentions,ortocreditthestatementofthem,whichIhavejustmade;iftheyseenotthatmydeedwasenjoinedbyheaven;thatobediencewasthetestofperfectvirtue,andtheextinctionofselfishnessanderror,theymustpronouncemeamurderer。
  "Theyrefusetocreditmytale;theyimputemyactstotheinfluenceofdaemons;theyaccountmeanexampleofthehighestwickednessofwhichhumannatureiscapable;theydoommetodeathandinfamy。HaveIpowertoescapethisevil?IfIhave,besureIwillexertit。Iwillnotacceptevilattheirhand,whenIamentitledtogood;IwillsufferonlywhenIcannoteludesuffering。
  "YousaythatIamguilty。Impiousandrash!thustousurptheprerogativesofyourMaker!tosetupyourboundedviewsandhaltingreason,asthemeasureoftruth!
  "Thou,OmnipotentandHoly!Thouknowestthatmyactionswereconformabletothywill。Iknownotwhatiscrime;whatactionsareevilintheirultimateandcomprehensivetendencyorwhataregood。Thyknowledge,asthypower,isunlimited。I
  havetakentheeformyguide,andcannoterr。Tothearmsofthyprotection,Ientrustmysafety。Intheawardsofthyjustice,Iconfideformyrecompense。
  "Comedeathwhenitwill,Iamsafe。Letcalumnyandabhorrencepursuemeamongmen;Ishallnotbedefraudedofmydues。Thepeaceofvirtue,andthegloryofobedience,willbemyportionhereafter。"
  Hereendedthespeaker。Iwithdrewmyeyesfromthepage;
  butbeforeIhadtimetoreflectonwhatIhadread,Mr。
  Cambridgeenteredtheroom。HequicklyperceivedhowIhadbeenemployed,andbetrayedsomesolicituderespectingtheconditionofmymind。
  Hisfears,however,weresuperfluous。WhatIhadread,threwmeintoastatenoteasilydescribed。Anguishandfury,however,hadnopartinit。Myfacultieswerechainedupinwonderandawe。Justthen,Iwasunabletospeak。Ilookedatmyfriendwithanairofinquisitiveness,andpointedattheroll。Hecomprehendedmyinquiry,andansweredmewithlooksofgloomyacquiescence。Aftersometime,mythoughtsfoundtheirwaytomylips。
  Suchthenweretheactsofmybrother。Suchwerehiswords。
  Forthishewascondemnedtodie:Todieuponthegallows!A
  fate,cruelandunmerited!Andisitso?continuedI,strugglingforutterance,whichthisnewideamadedifficult;ishe——dead!
  "No。Heisalive。Therecouldbenodoubtastothecauseoftheseexcesses。Theyoriginatedinsuddenmadness;butthatmadnesscontinues。andheiscondemnedtoperpetualimprisonment。"
  "Madness,sayyou?Areyousure?Werenotthesesights,andthesesounds,reallyseenandheard?"
  Myunclewassurprizedatmyquestion。Helookedatmewithapparentinquietude。"Canyoudoubt,"saidhe,"thatthesewereillusions?Doesheaven,thinkyou,interfereforsuchends?"
  "Ono;Ithinkitnot。Heavencannotstimulatetosuchunheard-ofoutrage。Theagentwasnotgood,butevil。"
  "Nay,mydeargirl,"saidmyfriend,"layasidethesefancies。Neitherangelnordevilhadanypartinthisaffair。"
  "Youmisunderstandme,"Ianswered;"Ibelievetheagencytobeexternalandreal,butnotsupernatural。"
  "Indeed!"saidhe,inanaccentofsurprize。"Whomdoyouthensupposetobetheagent?"
  "Iknownot。Alliswilderingconjecture。IcannotforgetCarwin。Icannotbanishthesuspicionthathewasthesetterofthesesnares。Buthowcanwesupposeittobemadness?Didinsanityeverbeforeassumethisform?"
  "Frequently。Theillusion,inthiscase,wasmoredreadfulinitsconsequences,thananythathascometomyknowledge;
  but,Irepeatthatsimilarillusionsarenotrare。Didyouneverhearofaninstancewhichoccurredinyourmother'sfamily?"
  "No。Ibeseechyourelateit。Mygrandfather'sdeathIhaveunderstoodtohavebeenextraordinary,butIknownotinwhatrespect。Abrother,towhomhewasmuchattached,diedinhisyouth,andthis,asIhaveheard,influenced,insomeremarkableway,thefateofmygrandfather;butIamunacquaintedwithparticulars。"
  "Onthedeathofthatbrother,"resumedmyfriend,"myfatherwasseizedwithdejection,whichwasfoundtoflowfromtwosources。Henotonlygrievedforthelossofafriend,butentertainedthebeliefthathisowndeathwouldbeinevitablyconsequentonthatofhisbrother。Hewaitedfromdaytodayinexpectationofthestrokewhichhepredictedwasspeedilytofalluponhim。Gradually,however,herecoveredhischeerfulnessandconfidence。Hemarried,andperformedhispartintheworldwithspiritandactivity。Attheendoftwenty-oneyearsithappenedthathespentthesummerwithhisfamilyatanhousewhichhepossessedontheseacoastinCornwall。Itwasatnogreatdistancefromacliffwhichoverhungtheocean,androseintotheairtoagreatheight。Thesummitwaslevelandsecure,andeasilyascendedonthelandside。Thecompanyfrequentlyrepairedhitherinclearweather,invitedbyitspureairsandextensiveprospects。OneeveninginJunemyfather,withhiswifeandsomefriends,chancedtobeonthisspot。
  Everyonewashappy,andmyfather'simaginationseemedparticularlyalivetothegrandeurofthescenery。
  "Suddenly,however,hislimbstrembledandhisfeaturesbetrayedalarm。Hethrewhimselfintotheattitudeofonelistening。Hegazedearnestlyinadirectioninwhichnothingwasvisibletohisfriends。Thislastedforaminute;thenturningtohiscompanions,hetoldthemthathisbrotherhadjustdeliveredtohimasummons,whichmustbeinstantlyobeyed。
  Hethentookanhastyandsolemnleaveofeachperson,and,beforetheirsurprizewouldallowthemtounderstandthescene,herushedtotheedgeofthecliff,threwhimselfheadlong,andwasseennomore。
  "InthecourseofmypracticeintheGermanarmy,manycases,equallyremarkable,haveoccurred。Unquestionablytheillusionsweremaniacal,thoughthevulgarthoughtotherwise。Theyareallreducibletooneclass,*andarenotmoredifficultofexplicationandcurethanmostaffectionsofourframe。"
  Thisopinionmyuncleendeavoured,byvariousmeans,toimpressuponme。Ilistenedtohisreasoningsandillustrationswithsilentrespect。MyastonishmentwasgreatonfindingproofsofaninfluenceofwhichIhadsupposedtherewerenoexamples;butIwasfarfromaccountingforappearancesinmyuncle'smanner。IdeasthrongedintomymindwhichIwasunabletodisjoinortoregulate。Ireflectedthatthismadness,ifmadnessitwere,hadaffectedPleyelandmyselfaswellasWieland。Pleyelhadheardamysteriousvoice。Ihadseenandheard。AformhadshoweditselftomeaswellastoWieland。
  Thedisclosurehadbeenmadeinthesamespot。Theappearancewasequallycompleteandequallyprodigiousinbothinstances。
  WhateversuppositionIshouldadopt,hadInotequalreasontotremble?Whatwasmysecurityagainstinfluencesequallyterrificandequallyirresistable?
  Itwouldbevaintoattempttodescribethestateofmindwhichthisideaproduced。Iwonderedatthechangewhichamomenthadaffectedinmybrother'scondition。NowwasI
  stupifiedwithtenfoldwonderincontemplatingmyself。WasI
  notlikewisetransformedfromrationalandhumanintoacreatureofnamelessandfearfulattributes?WasInottransportedtothebrinkofthesameabyss?Ereanewdayshouldcome,myhandsmightbeembruedinblood,andmyremaininglifebeconsignedtoadungeonandchains。
  Withmoralsensibilitylikemine,nowonderthatthisnewdreadwasmoreinsupportablethantheanguishIhadlatelyendured。Griefcarriesitsownantidotealongwithit。Whenthoughtbecomesmerelyavehicleofpain,itsprogressmustbestopped。Deathisacurewhichnatureorourselvesmustadminister:TothiscureInowlookedforwardwithgloomysatisfaction。
  Mysilencecouldnotconcealfrommyunclethestateofmythoughts。Hemadeunweariedeffortstodivertmyattentionfromviewssopregnantwithdanger。Hisefforts,aidedbytime,wereinsomemeasuresuccessful。Confidenceinthestrengthofmyresolution,andinthehealthfulstateofmyfaculties,wasoncemorerevived。Iwasabletodevotemythoughtstomybrother'sstate,andthecausesofthisdisasterousproceeding。
  Myopinionswerethesportofeternalchange。SometimesI
  conceivedtheapparitiontobemorethanhuman。Ihadnogroundsonwhichtobuildadisbelief。Icouldnotdenyfaithtotheevidenceofmyreligion;thetestimonyofmenwasloudandunanimous:boththeseconcurredtopersuademethatevilspiritsexisted,andthattheirenergywasfrequentlyexertedinthesystemoftheworld。
  TheseideasconnectedthemselveswiththeimageofCarwin。
  Whereistheproof,saidI,thatdaemonsmaynotbesubjectedtothecontroulofmen?Thistruthmaybedistortedanddebasedinthemindsoftheignorant。Thedogmasofthevulgar,withregardtothissubject,areglaringlyabsurd;butthoughthesemayjustlybeneglectedbythewise,wearescarcelyjustifiedintotallyrejectingthepossibilitythatmenmayobtainsupernaturalaid。
  Thedreamsofsuperstitionareworthyofcontempt。
  Witchcraft,itsinstrumentsandmiracles,thecompactratifiedbyabloodysignature,theapparatusofsulpheroussmellsandthunderingexplosions,aremonstrousandchimerical。ThesehavenopartinthesceneoverwhichthegeniusofCarwinpresides。
  Thatconsciousbeings,dissimilarfromhuman,butmoralandvoluntaryagentsasweare,somewhereexist,canscarcelybedenied。Thattheiraidmaybeemployedtobenignormalignantpurposes,cannotbedisproved。
  Darknessrestsuponthedesignsofthisman。Theextentofhispowerisunknown;butistherenotevidencethatithasbeennowexerted?
  Irecurredtomyownexperience。HereCarwinhadactuallyappeareduponthestage;butthiswasinahumancharacter。A
  voiceandaformwerediscovered;butonewasapparentlyexerted,andtheotherdisclosed,nottobefriend,buttocounteractCarwin'sdesigns。Thereweretokensofhostility,andnotofalliance,betweenthem。Carwinwasthemiscreantwhoseprojectswereresistedbyaministerofheaven。Howcanthisbereconciledtothestratagemwhichruinedmybrother?
  Theretheagencywasatoncepreternaturalandmalignant。
  Therecollectionofthisfactledmythoughtsintoanewchannel。Themalignityofthatinfluencewhichgovernedmybrotherhadhithertobeennosubjectofdoubt。Hiswifeandchildrenweredestroyed;theyhadexpiredinagonyandfear;yetwasitindisputablycertainthattheirmurdererwascriminal?
  Hewasacquittedatthetribunalofhisownconscience;hisbehaviourathistrialandsince,wasfaithfullyreportedtome;
  appearanceswereuniform;notforamomentdidhelayasidethemajestyofvirtue;herepelledallinvectivesbyappealingtothedeity,andtothetenorofhispastlife;surelytherewastruthinthisappeal:nonebutacommandfromheavencouldhaveswayedhiswill;andnothingbutunerringproofofdivineapprobationcouldsustainhismindinitspresentelevation。
  *ManiaMutabilis。SeeDarwin'sZoonomia,vol。ii。ClassIII。1。2。wheresimilarcasesarestated。
  ChapterXXI
  Such,forsometime,wasthecourseofmymeditations。Myweakness,andmyaversiontobepointedatasanobjectofsurprizeorcompassion,preventedmefromgoingintopublic。I
  studiouslyavoidedthevisitsofthosewhocametoexpresstheirsympathy,orgratifytheircuriosity。Myunclewasmyprincipalcompanion。Nothingmorepowerfullytendedtoconsolemethanhisconversation。
  WithregardtoPleyel,myfeelingsseemedtohaveundergoneatotalrevolution。Itoftenhappensthatonepassionsupplantsanother。Latedisastershadrentmyheart,andnowthatthewoundwasinsomedegreeclosed,thelovewhichIhadcherishedforthismanseemedlikewisetohavevanished。
  Hitherto,indeed,Ihadhadnocausefordespair。Iwasinnocentofthatoffencewhichhadestrangedhimfrommypresence。Imightreasonablyexpectthatmyinnocencewouldatsometimebeirresistablydemonstrated,andhisaffectionformeberevivedwithhisesteem。Nowmyaversiontobethoughtculpablebyhimcontinued,butwasunattendedwiththesameimpatience。Idesiredtheremovalofhissuspicions,notforthesakeofregaininghislove,butbecauseIdelightedinthevenerationofsoexcellentaman,andbecausehehimselfwouldderivepleasurefromconvictionofmyintegrity。
  MyunclehadearlyinformedmethatPleyelandhehadseeneachother,sincethereturnofthelatterfromEurope。Amidstthetopicsoftheirconversation,IdiscoveredthatPleyelhadcarefullyomittedthementionofthoseeventswhichhaddrawnuponmesomuchabhorrence。Icouldnotaccountforhissilenceonthissubject。Perhapstimeorsomenewdiscoveryhadalteredorshakenhisopinion。Perhapshewasunwilling,thoughIwereguilty,toinjuremeintheopinionofmyvenerablekinsman。I
  understoodthathehadfrequentlyvisitedmeduringmydisease,hadwatchedmanysuccessivenightsbymybedside,andmanifestedtheutmostanxietyonmyaccount。
  Thejourneywhichhewaspreparingtotake,attheterminationofourlastinterview,thecatastropheoftheensuingnightinducedhimtodelay。ThemotivesofthisjourneyIhad,tillnow,totallymistaken。Theywereexplainedtomebymyuncle,whosetaleexcitedmyastonishmentwithoutawakeningmyregret。Inadifferentstateofmind,itwouldhaveaddedunspeakablytomydistress,butnowitwasmoreasourceofpleasurethanpain。This,perhaps,isnottheleastextraordinaryofthefactscontainedinthisnarrative。ItwillexcitelesswonderwhenIadd,thatmyindifferencewastemporary,andthatthelapseofafewdaysshewedmethatmyfeelingsweredeadenedforatime,ratherthanfinallyextinguished。
  TheresadeStolbergwasalive。ShehadconceivedtheresolutionofseekingherloverinAmerica。Toconcealherflight,shehadcausedthereportofherdeathtobepropagated。
  SheputherselfundertheconductofBertrand,thefaithfulservantofPleyel。Thepacquetwhichthelatterreceivedfromthehandsofhisservant,containedthetidingsofhersafearrivalatBoston,andtomeethertherewasthepurposeofhisjourney。
  Thisdiscoveryhadsetthisman'scharacterinanewlight。
  Ihadmistakentheheroismoffriendshipforthephrenzyoflove。Hewhohadgainedmyaffections,maybesupposedtohavepreviouslyentitledhimselftomyreverence;butthelevitywhichhadformerlycharacterizedthebehaviourofthisman,tendedtoobscurethegreatnessofhissentiments。Ididnotfailtoremark,thatsincethisladywasstillalive,thevoiceinthetemplewhichassertedherdeath,musteitherhavebeenintendedtodeceive,orhavebeenitselfdeceived。Thelattersuppositionwasinconsistentwiththenotionofaspiritual,andtheformerwiththatofabenevolentbeing。