Butwhat,Omanofmischief!isthetendencyofthythoughts?
Frustratedinthyfirstdesign,thouwiltnotforegotheimmolationofthyvictim。Toexterminatemyreputationwasallthatremainedtothee,andthismyguardianhaspermitted。TodispossessPleyelofthisprejudicemaybeimpossible;butifthatbeeffected,itcannotbesupposedthatthywilesareexhausted;thycunningwilldiscoverinnumerableavenuestotheaccomplishmentofthymalignantpurpose。
WhyshouldIenterthelistsagainstthee?WouldtoheavenIcoulddisarmthyvengeancebymydeprecations!WhenIthinkofalltheresourceswithwhichnatureandeducationhavesuppliedthee;thatthyformisacombinationofsteelyfibresandorgansofexquisiteductilityandboundlesscompass,actuatedbyanintelligencegiftedwithinfiniteendowments,andcomprehendingallknowledge,Iperceivethatmydoomisfixed。
Whatobstaclewillbeabletodivertthyzealorrepelthyefforts?Thatbeingwhohashithertoprotectedmehasbornetestimonytotheformidablenessofthyattempts,sincenothinglessthansupernaturalinterferencecouldcheckthycareer。
Musingonthesethoughts,Iarrived,towardsthecloseoftheday,atPleyel'shouse。Amonthbefore,Ihadtraversedthesamepath;buthowdifferentweremysensations!NowIwasseekingthepresenceofonewhoregardedmeasthemostdegenerateofhumankind。Iwastopleadthecauseofmyinnocence,againstwitnessesthemostexplicitandunerring,ofthosewhichsupportthefabricofhumanknowledge。ThenearerIapproachedthecrisis,themoredidmyconfidencedecay。Whenthechaisestoppedatthedoor,mystrengthrefusedtosupportme,andIthrewmyselfintothearmsofanancientfemaledomestic。Ihadnotcouragetoinquirewhetherhermasterwasathome。Iwastormentedwithfearsthattheprojectedjourneywasalreadyundertaken。Thesefearswereremoved,byheraskingmewhethersheshouldcallheryoungmaster,whohadjustgoneintohisownroom。Iwassomewhatrevivedbythisintelligence,andresolvedimmediatelytoseekhimthere。
Inmyconfusionofmind,Ineglectedtoknockatthedoor,butenteredhisapartmentwithoutpreviousnotice。Thisabruptnesswasaltogetherinvoluntary。Absorbedinreflectionsofsuchunspeakablemoment,Ihadnoleisuretoheedthenicetiesofpunctilio。Idiscoveredhimstandingwithhisbacktowardstheentrance。Asmalltrunk,withitslidraised,wasbeforehiminwhichitseemedasifhehadbeenbusyinpackinghisclothes。Themomentofmyentrance,hewasemployedingazingatsomethingwhichheheldinhishand。
IimaginedthatIfullycomprehendedthisscene。Theimagewhichheheldbeforehim,andbywhichhisattentionwassodeeplyengaged,Idoubtednottobemyown。Thesepreparationsforhisjourney,thecausetowhichitwastobeimputed,thehopelessnessofsuccessintheundertakingonwhichIhadentered,rushedatonceuponmyfeelings,anddissolvedmeintoafloodoftears。
Startledbythissound,hedroppedthelidofthetrunkandturned。Thesolemnsadnessthatpreviouslyoverspreadhiscountenance,gavesuddenwaytoanattitudeandlookofthemostvehementastonishment。Perceivingmeunabletoupholdmyself,hesteppedtowardsmewithoutspeaking,andsupportedmebyhisarm。Thekindnessofthisactioncalledforthaneweffusionfrommyeyes。Weepingwasasolacetowhich,atthattime,I
hadnotgrownfamiliar,andwhich,therefore,waspeculiarlydelicious。Indignationwasnolongertobereadinthefeaturesofmyfriend。Theywerepregnantwithamixtureofwonderandpity。Theirexpressionwaseasilyinterpreted。Thisvisit,andthesetears,weretokensofmypenitence。Thewretchwhomhehadstigmatizedasincurablyandobduratelywicked,nowshewedherselfsusceptibleofremorse,andhadcometoconfessherguilt。
Thispersuasionhadnotendencytocomfortme。Itonlyshewedme,withnewevidence,thedifficultyofthetaskwhichIhadassignedmyself。Weweremutuallysilent。Ihadlesspowerandlessinclinationthanevertospeak。Iextricatedmyselffromhishold,andthrewmyselfonasofa。Heplacedhimselfbymyside,andappearedtowaitwithimpatienceandanxietyforsomebeginningoftheconversation。WhatcouldI
say?Ifmymindhadsuggestedanythingsuitabletotheoccasion,myutterancewassuffocatedbytears。
Frequentlyheattemptedtospeak,butseemeddeterredbysomedegreeofuncertaintyastothetruenatureofthescene。Atlength,infalteringaccentshespoke:
"Myfriend!wouldtoheavenIwerestillpermittedtocallyoubythatname。TheimagethatIonceadoredexistedonlyinmyfancy;butthoughIcannothopetoseeitrealized,youmaynotbetotallyinsensibletothehorrorsofthatgulfintowhichyouareabouttoplunge。Whatheartisforeverexemptfromthegoadingsofcompunctionandtheinfluxoflaudablepropensities?
"Ithoughtyouaccomplishedandwisebeyondtherestofwomen。Notasentimentyouuttered,notalookyouassumed,thatwerenot,inmyapprehension,fraughtwiththesublimitiesofrectitudeandtheilluminationsofgenius。Deceithassomebounds。Youreducationcouldnotbewithoutinfluence。A
vigorousunderstandingcannotbeutterlydevoidofvirtue;butyoucouldnotcounterfeitthepowersofinventionandreasoning。
Iwasrashinmyinvectives。Iwillnot,butwithlife,relinquishallhopesofyou。Iwillshutouteveryproofthatwouldtellmethatyourheartisincurablydiseased。
"Youcometorestoremeoncemoretohappiness;toconvincemethatyouhavetornhermaskfromvice,andfeelnothingbutabhorrenceforthepartyouhavehithertoacted。"
Atthesewordsmyequanimityforsookme。ForamomentI
forgottheevidencefromwhichPleyel'sopinionswerederived,thebenevolenceofhisremonstrances,andthegriefwhichhisaccentsbespoke;Iwasfilledwithindignationandhorroratchargessoblack;Ishrunkbackanddartedathimalookofdisdainandanger。Mypassionsuppliedmewithwords。
"Whatdetestableinfatuationwasitthatledmehither!WhydoIpatientlyendurethesehorribleinsults!Myoffencesexistonlyinyourowndistemperedimagination:youareleaguedwiththetraitorwhoassailedmylife:youhavevowedthedestructionofmypeaceandhonor。Ideserveinfamyforlisteningtocalumniessobase!"
ThesewordswereheardbyPleyelwithoutvisibleresentment。
Hiscountenancerelapsedintoitsformergloom;buthedidnotevenlookatme。Theideaswhichhadgivenplacetomyangryemotionsreturned,andoncemoremeltedmeintotears。"O!"I
exclaimed,inavoicebrokenbysobs,"whatataskismine!
CompelledtohearkentochargeswhichIfeeltobefalse,butwhichIknowtobebelievedbyhimthatuttersthem;believedtoonotwithoutevidence,which,thoughfallacious,isnotunplausible。
"Icamehithernottoconfess,buttovindicate。Iknowthesourceofyouropinions。Wielandhasinformedmeonwhatyoursuspicionsarebuilt。Thesesuspicionsarefosteredbyyouascertainties;thetenorofmylife,ofallmyconversationsandletters,affordsmenosecurity;everysentimentthatmytongueandmypenhaveuttered,beartestimonytotherectitudeofmymind;butthistestimonyisrejected。Iamcondemnedasbrutallyprofligate:Iamclassedwiththestupidlyandsordidlywicked。
"Andwherearetheproofsthatmustjustifysofoulandsoimprobableanaccusation?Youhaveoverheardamidnightconference。Voiceshavesalutedyourear,inwhichyouimagineyourselftohaverecognizedmine,andthatofadetectedvillain。Thesentimentsexpressedwerenotallowedtooutweighthecasualorconcertedresemblanceofvoice。Sentimentsthereverseofallthosewhoseinfluencemyformerlifehadattested,denotingamindpollutedbygrovellingvices,andenteringintocompactwiththatofathiefandamurderer。Thenatureofthesesentimentsdidnotenableyoutodetectthecheat,didnotsuggesttoyouthepossibilitythatmyvoicehadbeencounterfeitedbyanother。
"Youwereprecipitateandpronetocondemn。Insteadofrushingontheimpostors,andcomparingtheevidenceofsightwiththatofhearing,youstoodaloof,oryoufled。Myinnocencewouldnotnowhavestoodinneedofvindication,ifthisconducthadbeenpursued。Thatyoudidnotpursueit,yourpresentthoughtsincontestiblyprove。YetthisconductmightsurelyhavebeenexpectedfromPleyel。Thathewouldnothastilyimputetheblackestofcrimes,thathewouldnotcouplemynamewithinfamy,andcovermewithruinforinadequateorslightreasons,mightreasonablyhavebeenexpected。"Thesobswhichconvulsedmybosomwouldnotsuffermetoproceed。
Pleyelwasforamomentaffected。Helookedatmewithsomeexpressionofdoubt;butthisquicklygaveplacetoamournfulsolemnity。Hefixedhiseyesonthefloorasinreverie,andspoke:
"TwohourshenceIamgone。ShallIcarryawaywithmethesorrowthatisnowmyguest?orshallthatsorrowbeaccumulatedtenfold?Whatisshethatisnowbeforeme?Shalleveryhoursupplymewithnewproofsofawickednessbeyondexample?AlreadyIdeemherthemostabandonedanddetestableofhumancreatures。Hercomingandhertearsimpartedagleamofhope,butthatgleamhasvanished。"
Henowfixedhiseyesuponme,andeverymuscleinhisfacetrembled。Histonewashollowandterrible——"ThouknowestthatIwasawitnessofyourinterview,yetthoucomesthithertoupbraidmeforinjustice!ThoucanstlookmeinthefaceandsaythatIamdeceived!——Aninscrutableprovidencehasfashionedtheeforsomeend。Thouwiltlive,nodoubt,tofulfilthepurposesofthymaker,ifherepentnotofhisworkmanship,andsendnothisvengeancetoexterminatethee,erethemeasureofthydaysbefull。Surelynothingintheshapeofmancanviewiththee!
"ButIthoughtIhadstifledthisfury。Iamnotconstitutedthyjudge。Myofficeistopityandamend,andnottopunishandrevile。Ideemedmyselfexemptfromalltempestuouspassions。Ihadalmostpersuadedmyselftoweepoverthyfall;
butIamfrailasdust,andmutableaswater;Iamcalm,Iamcompassionateonlyinthyabsence——Makethishouse,thisroom,thyabodeaslongasthouwilt,butforgivemeifIprefersolitudefortheshorttimeduringwhichIshallstay。"Sayingthis,hemotionedasiftoleavetheapartment。
Thestormypassionsofthismanaffectedmebysympathy。I
ceasedtoweep。Iwasmotionlessandspeechlesswithagony。I
satwithmyhandsclasped,mutelygazingafterhimashewithdrew。Idesiredtodetainhim,butwasunabletomakeanyeffortforthatpurpose,tillhehadpassedoutoftheroom。I
thenutteredaninvoluntaryandpiercingcry——"Pleyel!Artthougone?Goneforever?"
Atthissummonshehastilyreturned。Hebeheldmewild,pale,gaspingforbreath,andmyheadalreadysinkingonmybosom。Apainfuldizzinessseizedme,andIfaintedaway。
WhenIrecovered,Ifoundmyselfstretchedonabedintheouterapartment,andPleyel,withtwofemaleservantsstandingbesideit。Allthefuryandscornwhichthecountenanceoftheformerlatelyexpressed,hadnowdisappeared,andwassucceededbythemosttenderanxiety。Assoonasheperceivedthatmysenseswerereturnedtome,heclaspedhishands,andexclaimed,"Godbethanked!youareoncemorealive。Ihadalmostdespairedofyourrecovery。IfearIhavebeenprecipitateandunjust。Mysensesmusthavebeenthevictimsofsomeinexplicableandmomentaryphrenzy。Forgiveme,Ibeseechyou,forgivemyreproaches。Iwouldpurchaseconvictionofyourpurity,atthepriceofmyexistencehereandhereafter。"
Heoncemore,inatoneofthemostferventtenderness,besoughtmetobecomposed,andthenleftmetothecareofthewomen。
ChapterXIII
Herewaswroughtasurprizingchangeinmyfriend。Whatwasitthathadshakenconvictionsofirm?Hadanythingoccurredduringmyfit,adequatetoproducesototalanalteration?Myattendantsinformedmethathehadnotleftmyapartment;thattheunusualdurationofmyfit,andthefailure,foratime,ofallthemeansusedformyrecovery,hadfilledhimwithgriefanddismay。Didheregardtheeffectwhichhisreproacheshadproducedasaproofofmysincerity?
Inthisstateofmind,Ilittleregardedmylanguorsofbody。
Iroseandrequestedaninterviewwithhimbeforemydeparture,onwhichIwasresolved,notwithstandinghisearnestsolicitationtospendthenightathishouse。Hecompliedwithmyrequest。Thetendernesswhichhehadlatelybetrayed,hadnowdisappeared,andheoncemorerelapsedintoachillingsolemnity。
ItoldhimthatIwaspreparingtoreturntomybrother's;
thatIhadcomehithertovindicatemyinnocencefromthefoulaspersionswhichhehadcastuponit。Mypridehadnottakenrefugeinsilenceordistance。Ihadnotreliedupontime,orthesuggestionofhiscoolerthoughts,toconfutehischarges。
ConsciousasIwasthatIwasperfectlyguiltless,andentertainingsomevalueforhisgoodopinion,Icouldnotprevailuponmyselftobelievethatmyeffortstomakemyinnocencemanifest,wouldbefruitless。Adverseappearancesmightbenumerousandspecious,buttheywereunquestionablyfalse。Iwaswillingtobelievehimsincere,thathemadenochargeswhichhehimselfdidnotbelieve;butthesechargesweredestituteoftruth。Thegroundsofhisopinionwerefallacious;
andIdesiredanopportunityofdetectingtheirfallacy。I
entreatedhimtobeexplicit,andtogivemeadetailofwhathehadheard,andwhathehadseen。
Atthesewords,mycompanion'scountenancegrewdarker。Heappearedtobestrugglingwithhisrage。Heopenedhislipstospeak,buthisaccentsdiedawayeretheywereformed。Thisconflictlastedforsomeminutes,buthisfortitudewasfinallysuccessful。Hespokeasfollows:
"Iwouldfainputanendtothishatefulscene:whatIshallsay,willbebreathidlyandunprofitablyconsumed。Theclearestnarrativewilladdnothingtoyourpresentknowledge。
Youareacquaintedwiththegroundsofmyopinion,andyetyouavowyourselfinnocent:WhythenshouldIrehearsethesegrounds?YouareapprizedofthecharacterofCarwin:WhythenshouldIenumeratethediscoverieswhichIhavemaderespectinghim?Yet,sinceitisyourrequest;since,consideringthelimitednessofhumanfaculties,someerrormaypossiblylurkinthoseappearanceswhichIhavewitnessed,IwillbrieflyrelatewhatIknow。
"NeedIdwellupontheimpressionswhichyourconversationanddeportmentoriginallymadeuponme?Wepartedinchildhood;
butourintercourse,byletter,wascopiousanduninterrupted。
HowfondlydidIanticipateameetingwithonewhomherlettershadpreviouslytaughtmetoconsiderasthefirstofwomen,andhowfullyrealizedweretheexpectationsthatIhadformed!
"Here,saidI,isabeing,afterwhomsagesmaymodeltheirtranscendentintelligence,andpainters,theiridealbeauty。
Hereisexemplified,thatunionbetweenintellectandform,whichhashithertoexistedonlyintheconceptionsofthepoet。
Ihavewatchedyoureyes;myattentionhashunguponyourlips。
Ihavequestionedwhethertheenchantmentsofyourvoiceweremoreconspicuousintheintricaciesofmelody,ortheemphasisofrhetoric。Ihavemarkedthetransitionsofyourdiscourse,thefelicitiesofyourexpression,yourrefinedargumentation,andglowingimagery;andbeenforcedtoacknowledge,thatalldelightsweremeagreandcontemptible,comparedwiththoseconnectedwiththeaudienceandsightofyou。Ihavecontemplatedyourprinciples,andbeenastonishedatthesolidityoftheirfoundation,andtheperfectionoftheirstructure。Ihavetracedyoutoyourhome。Ihaveviewedyouinrelationtoyourservants,toyourfamily,toyourneighbours,andtotheworld。Ihaveseenbywhatskilfularrangementsyoufacilitatetheperformanceofthemostarduousandcomplicatedduties;whatdailyaccessionsofstrengthyourjudiciousdisciplinebestoweduponyourmemory;whatcorrectnessandabundanceofknowledgewasdailyexperiencedbyyourunweariedapplicationtobooks,andtowriting。Ifshethatpossessessomuchinthebloomofyouth,willgoonaccumulatingherstores,what,saidI,isthepictureshewilldisplayatamatureage?
"Youknownottheaccuracyofmyobservation。Iwasdesirousthatothersshouldprofitbyanexamplesorare。Ithereforenoteddown,inwriting,everyparticularofyourconduct。Iwasanxioustobenefitbyanopportunitysoseldomaffordedus。I
labourednottoomittheslightestshade,orthemostpettylineinyourportrait。Heretherewasnoothertaskincumbentonmebuttocopy;therewasnoneedtoexaggerateoroverlook,inordertoproduceamoreunexceptionablepattern。Herewasacombinationofharmoniesandgraces,incapableofdiminutionoraccessionwithoutinjurytoitscompleteness。
"Ifoundnoendandnoboundstomytask。Nodisplayofascenelikethiscouldbechargeablewithredundancyorsuperfluity。Eventhecolourofashoe,theknotofaribband,oryourattitudeinpluckingarose,wereofmomenttoberecorded。Eventhearrangementsofyourbreakfast-tableandyourtoilethavebeenamplydisplayed。
"Iknowthatmankindaremoreeasilyenticedtovirtuebyexamplethanbyprecept。Iknowthattheabsolutenessofamodel,whensuppliedbyinvention,diminishesitssalutaryinfluence,sinceitisuseless,wethink,tostriveafterthatwhichweknowtobebeyondourreach。ButthepicturewhichI
drewwasnotaphantom;asamodel,itwasdevoidofimperfection;andtoaspiretothatheightwhichhadbeenreallyattained,wasbynomeansunreasonable。Ihadanotherandmoreinterestingobjectinview。Oneexistedwhoclaimedallmytenderness。Here,inallitsparts,wasamodelworthyofassiduousstudy,andindefatigableimitation。Icalleduponher,asshewishedtosecureandenhancemyesteem,tomouldherthoughts,herwords,hercountenance,heractions,bythispattern。
"Thetaskwasexuberantofpleasure,andIwasdeeplyengagedinit,whenanimpofmischiefwasletlooseintheformofCarwin。Iadmiredhispowersandaccomplishments。Ididnotwonderthattheywereadmiredbyyou。Ontherectitudeofyourjudgement,however,Ireliedtokeepthisadmirationwithindiscreetandscrupulousbounds。Iassuredmyself,thatthestrangenessofhisdeportment,andtheobscurityofhislife,wouldteachyoucaution。Ofallerrors,myknowledgeofyourcharacterinformedmethatthiswasleastlikelytobefallyou。
"Youwerepowerfullyaffectedbyhisfirstappearance;youwerebewitchedbyhiscountenanceandhistones;yourdescriptionwasardentandpathetic:Ilistenedtoyouwithsomeemotionsofsurprize。Theportraityoudrewinhisabsence,andtheintensitywithwhichyoumuseduponit,werenewandunexpectedincidents。Theybespokeasensibilitysomewhattoovivid;butfromwhich,whilesubjectedtotheguidanceofanunderstandinglikeyours,therewasnothingtodread。
"Amoredirectintercoursetookplacebetweenyou。IneednotapologizeforthesolicitudewhichIentertainedforyoursafety。Hethatgiftedmewithperceptionofexcellence,compelledmetoloveit。Inthemidstofdangerandpain,mycontemplationshaveeverbeencheeredbyyourimage。Everyobjectincompetitionwithyou,wasworthlessandtrivial。Nopricewastoogreatbywhichyoursafetycouldbepurchased。
Forthatend,thesacrificeofease,ofhealth,andevenoflife,wouldcheerfullyhavebeenmadebyme。Whatwonderthen,thatIscrutinizedthesentimentsanddeportmentofthismanwithceaselessvigilance;thatIwatchedyourwordsandyourlookswhenhewaspresent;andthatIextractedcauseforthedeepestinquietudes,fromeverytokenwhichyougaveofhavingputyourhappinessintothisman'skeeping?
"Iwascautiousindeciding。Irecalledthevariousconversationsinwhichthetopicsofloveandmarriagehadbeendiscussed。Asawoman,young,beautiful,andindependent,itbehovedyoutohavefortifiedyourmindwithjustprinciplesonthissubject。Yourprincipleswereeminentlyjust。HadnottheirrectitudeandtheirfirmnessbeenattestedbyyourtreatmentofthatspeciousseducerDashwood?Theseprinciples,Iwaspronetobelieve,exemptedyoufromdangerinthisnewstateofthings。Iwasnotthelasttopaymyhomagetotheunrivalledcapacity,insinuation,andeloquenceofthisman。I
havedisguised,butcouldneverstifletheconviction,thathiseyesandvoicehadawitchcraftinthem,whichrenderedhimtrulyformidable:butIreflectedontheambiguousexpressionofhiscountenance——anambiguitywhichyouwerethefirsttoremark;onthecloudwhichobscuredhischaracter;andonthesuspiciousnatureofthatconcealmentwhichhestudied;andconcludedyoutobesafe。Ideniedtheobviousconstructiontoappearances。Ireferredyourconducttosomeprinciplewhichhadnotbeenhithertodisclosed,butwhichwasreconcileablewiththosealreadyknown。
"Iwasnotsufferedtoremainlonginthissuspence。Oneevening,youmayrecollect,Icametoyourhouse,whereitwasmypurpose,asusual,tolodge,somewhatearlierthanordinary。
IspiedalightinyourchamberasIapproachedfromtheoutside,andoninquiringofJudith,wasinformedthatyouwerewriting。Asyourkinsmanandfriend,andfellow-lodger,I
thoughtIhadarighttobefamiliar。Youwereinyourchamber,butyouremploymentandthetimeweresuchastomakeitnoinfractionofdecorumtofollowyouthither。Thespiritofmischievousgaietypossessedme。Iproceededontiptoe。Youdidnotperceivemyentrance;andIadvancedsoftlytillIwasabletooverlookyourshoulder。
"Ihadgonethusfarinerror,andhadnopowertorecede。
Howcautiouslyshouldweguardagainstthefirstinroadsoftemptation!Iknewthattopryintoyourpaperswascriminal;
butIreflectedthatnosentimentofyourswasofanaturewhichmadeityourinteresttoconcealit。Youwrotemuchmorethanyoupermittedyourfriendstoperuse。Mycuriositywasstrong,andIhadonlytothrowaglanceuponthepaper,tosecureitsgratification。Ishouldneverhavedeliberatelycommittedanactlikethis。Theslightestobstaclewouldhaverepelledme;
butmyeyeglancedalmostspontaneouslyuponthepaper。I
caughtonlypartsofsentences;butmyeyescomprehendedmoreataglance,becausethecharacterswereshort-hand。IlightedonthewordsSUMMER-HOUSE,MIDNIGHT,andmadeoutapassagewhichspokeoftheproprietyandoftheeffectstobeexpectedfromANOTHERinterview。Allthispassedinlessthanamoment。Ithencheckedmyself,andmademyselfknowntoyou,byatapuponyourshoulder。
"Icouldpardonandaccountforsometriflingalarm;butyourtrepidationandblusheswereexcessive。Youhurriedthepaperoutofsight,andseemedtooanxioustodiscoverwhetherIknewthecontentstoallowyourselftomakeanyinquiries。I
wonderedattheseappearancesofconsternation,butdidnotreasononthemuntilIhadretired。Whenalone,theseincidentssuggestedthemselvestomyreflectionsanew。
"Towhatscene,orwhatinterview,Iasked,didyouallude?
Yourdisappearanceonaformerevening,mytracingyoutotherecessinthebank,yoursilenceonmyfirstandsecondcall,yourvagueanswersandinvincibleembarrassment,whenyou,atlength,ascendedthehill,Irecollectedwithnewsurprize。
Couldthisbethesummerhousealludedto?Acertaintimidityandconsciousnesshadgenerallyattendedyou,whenthisincidentandthisrecesshadbeenthesubjectsofconversation。Nay,I
imaginedthatthelasttimethatadventurewasmentioned,whichhappenedinthepresenceofCarwin,thecountenanceofthelatterbetrayedsomeemotion。Couldtheinterviewhavebeenwithhim?
"Thiswasanideacalculatedtorouseeveryfacultytocontemplation。Aninterviewatthathour,inthisdarksomeretreat,withamanofthismysteriousbutformidablecharacter;
aclandestineinterview,andonewhichyouafterwardsendeavouredwithsomuchsolicitudetoconceal!Itwasafearfulandportentousoccurrence。Icouldnotmeasurehispower,orfathomhisdesigns。Hadherifledfromyouthesecretofyourlove,andreconciledyoutoconcealmentandnocturalmeetings?Iscarcelyeverspentanightofmoreinquietude。
"Iknewnothowtoact。Theascertainmentofthisman'scharacterandviewsseemedtobe,inthefirstplace,necessary。
Hadheopenlypreferredhissuittoyou,weshouldhavebeenimpoweredtomakedirectinquiries;butsincehehadchosenthisobscurepath,itseemedreasonabletoinferthathischaracterwasexceptionable。It,atleast,subjectedustothenecessityofresortingtoothermeansofinformation。Yettheimprobabilitythatyoushouldcommitadeedofsuchrashness,mademereflectanewupontheinsufficiencyofthosegroundsonwhichmysuspicionshadbeenbuilt,andalmosttocondemnmyselfforharbouringthem。
"ThoughitwasmereconjecturethattheinterviewspokenofhadtakenplacewithCarwin,yettwoideasoccurredtoinvolvemeinthemostpainfuldoubts。Thisman'sreasoningsmightbesospecious,andhisartificessoprofound,that,aidedbythepassionwhichyouhadconceivedforhim,hehadfinallysucceeded;orhissituationmightbesuchastojustifythesecrecywhichyoumaintained。Inneithercasedidmywildestreveriessuggesttome,thatyourhonorhadbeenforfeited。
"Icouldnottalkwithyouonthissubject。Iftheimputationwasfalse,itsatrociousnesswouldhavejustlydrawnuponmeyourresentment,andImusthaveexplainedbywhatfactsithadbeensuggested。Ifitweretrue,nobenefitwouldfollowfromthementionofit。Youhadchosentoconcealitforsomereasons,andwhetherthesereasonsweretrueorfalse,itwaspropertodiscoverandremovetheminthefirstplace。Finally,Iacquiescedintheleastpainfulsupposition,trammelledasitwaswithperplexities,thatCarwinwasupright,andthat,ifthereasonsofyoursilencewereknown,theywouldbefoundtobejust。
ChapterXIV
"Threedayshaveelapsedsincethisoccurrence。Ihavebeenhauntedbyperpetualinquietude。TobringmyselftoregardCarwinwithoutterror,andtoacquiesceinthebeliefofyoursafety,wasimpossible。Yettoputanendtomydoubts,seemedtobeimpracticable。Ifsomelightcouldbereflectedontheactualsituationofthisman,adirectpathwouldpresentitself。Ifhewere,contrarytothetenorofhisconversation,cunningandmalignant,toapprizeyouofthis,wouldbetoplaceyouinsecurity。Ifheweremerelyunfortunateandinnocent,mostreadilywouldIespousehiscause;andifhisintentionswereuprightwithregardtoyou,mosteagerlywouldIsanctifyyourchoicebymyapprobation。
"ItwouldbevaintocalluponCarwinforanavowalofhisdeeds。Itwasbettertoknownothing,thantobedeceivedbyanartfultale。Whathewasunwillingtocommunicate,andthisunwillingnesshadbeenrepeatedlymanifested,couldneverbeextortedfromhim。Importunitymightbeappeased,orimpostureeffectedbyfallaciousrepresentations。Totherestoftheworldhewasunknown。Ihadoftenmadehimthesubjectofdiscourse;butaglimpseofhisfigureinthestreetwasthesumoftheirknowledgewhoknewmost。Nonehadeverseenhimbefore,andreceivedasnew,theinformationwhichmyintercoursewithhiminValencia,andmypresentintercourse,enabledmetogive。
"Wielandwasyourbrother。Ifhehadreallymadeyoutheobjectofhiscourtship,wasnotabrotherauthorizedtointerfereanddemandfromhimtheconfessionofhisviews?YetwhatwerethegroundsonwhichIhadrearedthissupposition?
Wouldtheyjustifyameasurelikethis?Surelynot。
"Inthecourseofmyrestlessmeditations,itoccurredtome,atlength,thatmydutyrequiredmetospeaktoyou,toconfesstheindecorumofwhichIhadbeenguilty,andtostatethereflectionstowhichithadledme。Iwaspromptedbynomeanorselfishviews。Theheartwithinmybreastwasnotmorepreciousthanyoursafety:mostcheerfullywouldIhaveinterposedmylifebetweenyouanddanger。Wouldyoucherishresentmentatmyconduct?Whenacquaintedwiththemotivewhichproducedit,itwouldnotonlyexemptmefromcensure,butentitlemetogratitude。
"Yesterdayhadbeenselectedfortherehearsalofthenewly-importedtragedy。Ipromisedtobepresent。Thestateofmythoughtsbutlittlequalifiedmeforaperformerorauditorinsuchascene;butIreflectedthat,afteritwasfinished,I
shouldreturnhomewithyou,andshouldthenenjoyanopportunityofdiscoursingwithyoufullyonthistopic。Myresolutionwasnotformedwithoutaremnantofdoubt,astoitspropriety。WhenIleftthishousetoperformthevisitIhadpromised,mymindwasfullofapprehensionanddespondency。Thedubiousnessoftheeventofourconversation,fearthatmyinterferencewastoolatetosecureyourpeace,andtheuncertaintytowhichhopegavebirth,whetherIhadnoterredinbelievingyoudevotedtothisman,or,atleast,inimaginingthathehadobtainedyourconsenttomidnightconferences,distractedmewithcontradictoryopinions,andrepugnantemotions。
"IcanassignnoreasonforcallingatMrs。Baynton's。Ihadseenherinthemorning,andknewhertobewell。Theconcertedhourhadnearlyarrived,andyetIturnedupthestreetwhichleadstoherhouse,anddismountedatherdoor。Ienteredtheparlourandthrewmyselfinachair。Isawandinquiredfornoone。Mywholeframewasoverpoweredbydrearyandcomfortlesssensations。Oneideapossessedmewholly;theinexpressibleimportanceofunveilingthedesignsandcharacterofCarwin,andtheutterimprobabilitythatthiseverwouldbeeffected。Someinstinctinducedmetolaymyhanduponanewspaper。Ihadperusedallthegeneralintelligenceitcontainedinthemorning,andatthesamespot。Theactwasrathermechanicalthanvoluntary。
"Ithrewalanguidglanceatthefirstcolumnthatpresenteditself。ThefirstwordswhichIread,beganwiththeofferofarewardofthreehundredguineasfortheapprehensionofaconvictundersentenceofdeath,whohadescapedfromNewgateprisoninDublin。Goodheaven!howeveryfibreofmyframetingledwhenIproceededtoreadthatthenameofthecriminalwasFrancisCarwin!
"Thedescriptionsofhispersonandaddresswereminute。Hisstature,hair,complexion,theextraordinarypositionandarrangementofhisfeatures,hisaukwardanddisproportionateform,hisgestureandgait,correspondedperfectlywiththoseofourmysteriousvisitant。Hehadbeenfoundguiltyintwoindictments。OneforthemurderoftheLadyJaneConway,andtheotherforarobberycommittedonthepersonofthehonorableMr。Ludloe。
"Irepeatedlyperusedthispassage。Theideaswhichflowedinuponmymind,affectedmelikeaninstanttransitionfromdeathtolife。Thepurposedearesttomyheartwasthuseffected,atatimeandbymeanstheleastofallotherswithinthescopeofmyforesight。Butwhatpurpose?Carwinwasdetected。Actsoftheblackestandmostsordidguilthadbeencommittedbyhim。Herewasevidencewhichimpartedtomyunderstandingthemostluminouscertainty。Thename,visage,anddeportment,werethesame。Betweenthetimeofhisescape,andhisappearanceamongus,therewasasufficientagreement。
SuchwasthemanwithwhomIsuspectedyoutomaintainaclandestinecorrespondence。ShouldInothastetosnatchyoufromthetalonsofthisvulture?ShouldIseeyourushingtothevergeofadizzyprecipice,andnotstretchforthahandtopullyouback?Ihadnoneedtodeliberate。Ithrustthepaperinmypocket,andresolvedtoobtainanimmediateconferencewithyou。Foratime,nootherimagemadeitswaytomyunderstanding。Atlength,itoccurredtome,thatthoughtheinformationIpossessedwas,inonesense,sufficient,yetifmorecouldbeobtained,morewasdesirable。ThispassagewascopiedfromaBritishpaper;partofitonly,perhaps,wastranscribed。Theprinterwasinpossessionoftheoriginal。
"TowardshishouseIimmediatelyturnedmyhorse'shead。Heproducedthepaper,butIfoundnothingmorethanhadalreadybeenseen。Whilebusyinperusingit,theprinterstoodbymyside。HenoticedtheobjectofwhichIwasinsearch。"Aye,"
saidhe,"thatisastrangeaffair。Ishouldneverhavemetwithit,hadnotMr。Halletsenttomethepaper,withaparticularrequesttorepublishthatadvertisement。"
"Mr。Hallet!Whatreasonscouldhehaveformakingthisrequest?Hadthepapersenttohimbeenaccompaniedbyanyinformationrespectingtheconvict?Hadhepersonalorextraordinaryreasonsfordesiringitsrepublication?Thiswastobeknownonlyinoneway。Ispeededtohishouse。Inanswertomyinterrogations,hetoldmethatLudloehadformerlybeeninAmerica,andthatduringhisresidenceinthiscity,considerableintercoursehadtakenplacebetweenthem。Henceaconfidencearose,whichhassincebeenkeptalivebyoccasionalletters。Hehadlatelyreceivedaletterfromhim,enclosingthenewspaperfromwhichthisextracthadbeenmade。Heputitintomyhands,andpointedoutthepassageswhichrelatedtoCarwin。
"Ludloeconfirmsthefactsofhisconvictionandescape;andadds,thathehadreasontobelievehimtohaveembarkedforAmerica。Hedescribeshimingeneralterms,asthemostincomprehensibleandformidableamongmen;asengagedinschemes,reasonablysuspectedtobe,inthehighestdegree,criminal,butsuchasnohumanintelligenceisabletounravel:
thathisendsarepursuedbymeanswhichleaveitindoubtwhetherhebenotinleaguewithsomeinfernalspirit:thathiscrimeshavehithertobeenperpetratedwiththeaidofsomeunknownbutdesperateaccomplices:thathewagesaperpetualwaragainstthehappinessofmankind,andsetshisenginesofdestructionatworkagainsteveryobjectthatpresentsitself。
"Thisisthesubstanceoftheletter。Halletexpressedsomesurprizeatthecuriositywhichwasmanifestedbymeonthisoccasion。Iwastoomuchabsorbedbytheideassuggestedbythisletter,topayattentiontohisremarks。Ishudderedwiththeapprehensionoftheeviltowhichourindiscreetfamiliaritywiththismanhadprobablyexposedus。Iburntwithimpatiencetoseeyou,andtodowhatinmelaytoavertthecalamitywhichthreatenedus。Itwasalreadyfiveo'clock。Nightwashastening,andtherewasnotimetobelost。OnleavingMr。
Hallet'shouse,whoshouldmeetmeinthestreet,butBertrand,theservantwhomIleftinGermany。Hisappearanceandaccoutrementsbespokehimtohavejustalightedfromatoilsomeandlongjourney。Iwasnotwhollywithoutexpectationofseeinghimaboutthistime,butnoonewasthenmoredistantfrommythoughts。YouknowwhatreasonsIhaveforanxietyrespectingsceneswithwhichthismanwasconversant。Carwinwasforamomentforgotten。Inanswertomyvehementinquiries,Bertrandproducedacopiouspacket。Ishallnotatpresentmentionitscontents,northemeasureswhichtheyobligedmetoadopt。Ibestowedabriefperusalonthesepapers,andhavinggivensomedirectionstoBertrand,resumedmypurposewithregardtoyou。MyhorseIwasobligedtoresigntomyservant,hebeingchargedwithacommissionthatrequiredspeed。Theclockhadstruckten,andMettingenwasfivemilesdistant。I
wastoJourneythitheronfoot。Thesecircumstancesonlyaddedtomyexpedition。
"AsIpassedswiftlyalong,Ireviewedalltheincidentsaccompanyingtheappearanceanddeportmentofthatmanamongus。
LateeventshavebeeninexplicableandmysteriousbeyondanyofwhichIhaveeitherreadorheard。TheseeventswerecoevalwithCarwin'sintroduction。Iamunabletoexplaintheiroriginandmutualdependance;butIdonot,onthataccount,believethemtohaveasupernaturalorigin。Isnotthismantheagent?