lookedattheopenknifeinhishandandshuddered,butknewnothowtopreventthedeedwhichIdreaded。Hequicklynoticedmyfears,andcomprehendedthem。Stretchingtowardsmehishand,withanairofincreasingmildness:"Takeit,"saidhe:"Fearnotforthyownsake,norformine。Thecupisgoneby,anditstransientinebriationissucceededbythesobernessoftruth。
"ThouangelwhomIwaswonttoworship!fearestthou,mysister,forthylife?Onceitwasthescopeofmylabourstodestroythee,butIwaspromptedtothedeedbyheaven;such,atleast,wasmybelief。Thinkestthouthatthydeathwassoughttogratifymalevolence?No。Iampurefromallstain。I
believedthatmyGodwasmymover!
"NeithertheenormyselfhaveIcausetoinjure。Ihavedonemyduty,andsurelythereismeritinhavingsacrificedtothat,allthatisdeartotheheartofman。Ifadevilhasdeceivedme,hecameinthehabitofanangel。IfIerred,itwasnotmyjudgmentthatdeceivedme,butmysenses。Inthysight,beingofbeings!Iamstillpure。StillwillIlookformyrewardinthyjustice!"
Didmyearstrulyreportthesesounds?IfIdidnoterr,mybrotherwasrestoredtojustperceptions。Heknewhimselftohavebeenbetrayedtothemurderofhiswifeandchildren,tohavebeenthevictimofinfernalartifice;yethefoundconsolationintherectitudeofhismotives。Hewasnotdevoidofsorrow,forthiswaswrittenonhiscountenance;buthissoulwastranquilandsublime。
Perhapsthiswasmerelyatransitionofhisformermadnessintoanewshape。Perhapshehadnotyetawakenedtothememoryofthehorrorswhichhehadperpetrated。InfatuatedwretchthatIwas!Tosetmyselfupasamodelbywhichtojudgeofmyheroicbrother!Myreasontaughtmethathisconclusionswereright;butconsciousoftheimpotenceofreasonovermyownconduct;consciousofmycowardlyrashnessandmycriminaldespair,Idoubtedwhetheranyonecouldbestedfastandwise。
Suchwasmyweakness,thateveninthemidstofthesethoughts,mymindglidedintoabhorrenceofCarwin,andI
utteredinalowvoice,O!Carwin!Carwin!Whathastthoutoanswerfor?
Mybrotherimmediatelynoticedtheinvoluntaryexclamation:
"Clara!"saidhe,"bethyself。Equityusedtobeathemeforthyeloquence。Reduceitslessonstopractice,andbejusttothatunfortunateman。Theinstrumenthasdoneitswork,andI
amsatisfied。
"Ithankthee,myGod,forthislastillumination!Myenemyisthinealso。Ideemedhimtobeman,themanwithwhomIhaveoftencommuned;butnowthygoodnesshasunveiledtomehistruenature。Astheperformerofthybehests,heismyfriend。"
Myheartbegannowtomisgiveme。Hismournfulaspecthadgraduallyyieldedplacetoaserenebrow。Anewsoulappearedtoactuatehisframe,andhiseyestobeamwithpreternaturallustre。Thesesymptomsdidnotabate,andhecontinued:
"Clara!Imustnotleavetheeindoubt。IknownotwhatbroughtaboutthyinterviewwiththebeingwhomthoucallestCarwin。Foratime,Iwasguiltyofthyerror,anddeducedfromhisincoherentconfessionsthatIhadbeenmadethevictimofhumanmalice。Heleftusatmybidding,andIputupaprayerthatmydoubtsshouldberemoved。Thyeyeswereshut,andthyearssealedtothevisionthatansweredmyprayer。
"Iwasindeeddeceived。Theformthouhastseenwastheincarnationofadaemon。Thevisageandvoicewhichurgedmetothesacrificeofmyfamily,werehis。Nowhepersonatesahumanform:thenhewasinvironedwiththelustreofheaven——
"Clara,"hecontinued,advancingclosertome,"thydeathmustcome。Thisministerisevil,buthefromwhomhiscommissionwasreceivedisGod。Submitthenwithallthywontedresignationtoadecreethatcannotbereversedorresisted。
Marktheclock。Threeminutesareallowedtothee,inwhichtocallupthyfortitude,andpreparetheeforthydoom。"Therehestopped。
Evennow,whenthissceneexistsonlyinmemory,whenlifeandallitsfunctionshavesunkintotorpor,mypulsethrobs,andmyhairsuprise:mybrowsareknit,asthen;andIgazearoundmeindistraction。Iwasunconquerablyaversetodeath;
butdeath,imminentandfullofagonyasthatwhichwasthreatened,wasnothing。Thiswasnottheonlyorchiefinspirerofmyfears。
Forhim,notformyself,wasmysoultormented。Imightdie,andnocrime,surpassingthereachofmercy,wouldpursuemetothepresenceofmyJudge;butmyassassinwouldsurvivetocontemplatehisdeed,andthatassassinwasWieland!
WingstobearmebeyondhisreachIhadnot。Icouldnotvanishwithathought。Thedoorwasopen,butmymurdererwasinterposedbetweenthatandme。Ofself-defenceIwasincapable。Thephrenzythatlatelypromptedmetobloodwasgone;mystatewasdesperate;myrescuewasimpossible。
Theweightoftheseaccumulatedthoughtscouldnotbeborne。
Mysightbecameconfused;mylimbswereseizedwithconvulsion;
Ispoke,butmywordswerehalf-formed:——
"Spareme,mybrother!Lookdown,righteousJudge!snatchmefromthisfate!takeawaythisfuryfromhim,orturnitelsewhere!"
Suchwastheagonyofmythoughts,thatInoticednotstepsenteringmyapartment。Supplicatingeyeswerecastupward,butwhenmyprayerwasbreathed,Ioncemorewildlygazedatthedoor。Aformmetmysight:IshudderedasiftheGodwhomI
invokedwerepresent。ItwasCarwinthatagainintruded,andwhostoodbeforeme,erectinattitude,andstedfastinlook!
Thesightofhimawakenednewandrapidthoughts。Hisrecenttalewasremembered:hismagicaltransitionsandmysteriousenergyofvoice:Whetherhewereinfernalormiraculous,orhuman,therewasnopowerandnoneedtodecide。Whetherthecontriverornotofthisspell,hewasabletounbindit,andtocheckthefuryofmybrother。Hehadascribedtohimselfintentionsnotmalignant。Herenowwasaffordedatestofhistruth。Lethiminterpose,asfromabove;revokethesavagedecreewhichthemadnessofWielandhasassignedtoheaven,andextinguishforeverthispassionforblood!
Myminddetectedataglancethisavenuetosafety。Therecommendationsitpossessedthrongedasitweretogether,andmadebutoneimpressiononmyintellect。RemotereffectsandcollateraldangersIsawnot。Perhapsthepauseofaninstanthadsufficedtocallthemup。TheimprobabilitythattheinfluencewhichgovernedWielandwasexternalorhuman;thetendencyofthisstratagemtosanctionsofatalanerror,orsubstituteamoredestructiverageinplaceofthis;thesufficiencyofCarwin'smeremuscularforcestocounteracttheefforts,andrestrainthefuryofWieland,might,atasecondglance,havebeendiscovered;butnosecondglancewasallowed。
Myfirstthoughthurriedmetoaction,and,fixingmyeyesuponCarwinIexclaimed——
"Owretch!oncemorehastthoucome?Letitbetoabjurethymalice;tocounterworkthishellishstratagem;toturnfrommeandfrommybrother,thisdesolatingrage!
"Testifythyinnocenceorthyremorse:exertthepowerswhichpertaintothee,whatevertheybe,toturnasidethisruin。Thouarttheauthorofthesehorrors!WhathaveIdonetodeservethustodie?HowhaveImeritedthisunrelentingpersecution?Iadjurethee,bythatGodwhosevoicethouhastdaredtocounterfeit,tosavemylife!
"Wiltthouthengo?leaveme!Succourless!"
Carwinlistenedtomyintreatiesunmoved,andturnedfromme。
Heseemedtohesitateamoment:thenglidedthroughthedoor。
Rageanddespairstifledmyutterance。Theintervalofrespitewaspassed;thepangsreservedformebyWieland,werenottobeendured;mythoughtsrushedagainintoanarchy。Havingreceivedtheknifefromhishand,Ihelditlooselyandwithoutregard;
butnowitseizedagainmyattention,andIgraspeditwithforce。
HeseemedtonoticenottheentranceorexitofCarwin。Mygestureandthemurderousweaponappearedtohaveescapedhisnotice。Hissilencewasunbroken;hiseye,fixedupontheclockforatime,wasnowwithdrawn;furykindledineveryfeature;
allthatwashumaninhisfacegavewaytoanexpressionsupernaturalandtremendous。Ifeltmyleftarmwithinhisgrasp——
EvennowIhesitatedtostrike。Ishrunkfromhisassault,butinvain——
Hereletmedesist。WhyshouldIrescuethiseventfromoblivion?WhyshouldIpaintthisdetestableconflict?Whynotterminateatoncethisseriesofhorrors?——Hurrytothevergeoftheprecipice,andcastmyselfforeverbeyondremembranceandbeyondhope?
StillIlive:withthisloaduponmybreast;withthisphantomtopursuemysteps;withadderslodgedinmybosom,andstingingmetomadness:stillIconsenttolive!
Yes,Iwillriseabovethesphereofmortalpassions:Iwillspurnatthecowardlyremorsethatbidsmeseekimpunityinsilence,orcomfortinforgetfulness。Mynervesshallbenewstrungtothetask。HaveInotresolved?Iwilldie。Thegulphbeforemeisinevitableandnear。Iwilldie,butthenonlywhenmytaleisatanend。
ChapterXXVI
Myrighthand,graspingtheunseenknife,wasstilldisengaged。Itwasliftedtostrike。Allmystrengthwasexhausted,butwhatwassufficienttotheperformanceofthisdeed。Alreadywastheenergyawakened,andtheimpulsegiven,thatshouldbearthefatalsteeltohisheart,when——Wielandshrunkback:hishandwaswithdrawn。Breathlesswithaffrightanddesperation,Istood,freedfromhisgrasp;unassailed;
untouched。
Thuslonghadthepowerwhichcontrouledthesceneforbornetointerfere;butnowhismightwasirresistible,andWielandinamomentwasdisarmedofallhispurposes。Avoice,louderthanhumanorganscouldproduce,shrillerthanlanguagecandepict,burstfromtheceiling,andcommandedhim——TOHOLD!
TroubleanddismaysucceededtothestedfastnessthathadlatelybeendisplayedinthelooksofWieland。Hiseyesrovedfromonequartertoanother,withanexpressionofdoubt。Heseemedtowaitforafurtherintimation。
Carwin'sagencywashereeasilyrecognized。Ihadbesoughthimtointerposeinmydefence。Hehadflown。Ihadimaginedhimdeaftomyprayer,andresolutetoseemeperish:yethedisappearedmerelytodeviseandexecutethemeansofmyrelief。
Whydidhenotforbearwhenthisendwasaccomplished?Whydidhismisjudgingzealandaccursedprecipitationoverpassthatlimit?Ormeanthethustocrownthescene,andconducthisinscrutableplotstothisconsummation?
Suchideaswerethefruitofsubsequentcontemplation。Thismomentwaspregnantwithfate。Ihadnopowertoreason。Inthecareerofmytempestuousthoughts,rentintopieces,asmymindwas,byaccumulatinghorrors,Carwinwasunseenandunsuspected。IpartookofWieland'scredulity,shookwithhisamazement,andpantedwithhisawe。
Silencetookplaceforamoment;somuchasallowedtheattentiontorecoveritspost。Thennewsoundswereutteredfromabove。
"Manoferrors!ceasetocherishthydelusion:notheavenorhell,butthysenseshavemisledtheetocommittheseacts。
Shakeoffthyphrenzy,andascendintorationalandhuman。Belunaticnolonger。"
Mybrotheropenedhislipstospeak。Histonewasterrificandfaint。Hemutteredanappealtoheaven。Itwasdifficulttocomprehendthethemeofhisinquiries。Theyimplieddoubtastothenatureoftheimpulsethathithertohadguidedhim,andquestionedwhetherhehadactedinconsequenceofinsaneperceptions。
Totheseinterrogatoriesthevoice,whichnowseemedtohoverathisshoulder,loudlyansweredintheaffirmative。Thenuninterruptedsilenceensued。
Fallenfromhisloftyandheroicstation;nowfinallyrestoredtotheperceptionoftruth;weighedtoearthbytherecollectionofhisowndeeds;consolednolongerbyaconsciousnessofrectitude,forthelossofoffspringandwife——alossforwhichhewasindebtedtohisownmisguidedhand;WielandwastransformedatonceintothemanOFSORROWS!
Hereflectednotthatcreditshouldbeasreasonablydeniedtothelast,astoanyformerintimation;thatonemightasjustlybeascribedtoerringordiseasedsensesastheother。
Hesawnotthatthisdiscoveryinnodegreeaffectedtheintegrityofhisconduct;thathismotiveshadlostnoneoftheirclaimstothehomageofmankind;thatthepreferenceofsupremegood,andtheboundlessenergyofduty,wereundiminishedinhisbosom。
Itisnotformetopursuehimthroughtheghastlychangesofhiscountenance。Wordshehadnone。Nowhesatuponthefloor,motionlessinallhislimbs,withhiseyesglazedandfixed;amonumentofwoe。
Anonaspiritoftempestuousbutundesigningactivityseizedhim。Herosefromhisplaceandstrodeacrossthefloor,totteringandatrandom。Hiseyeswerewithoutmoisture,andgleamedwiththefirethatconsumedhisvitals。Themusclesofhisfacewereagitatedbyconvulsion。Hislipsmoved,butnosoundescapedhim。
Thatnatureshouldlongsustainthisconflictwasnottobebelieved。Mystatewaslittledifferentfromthatofmybrother。Ientered,asitwere,intohisthought。Myheartwasvisitedandrentbyhispangs——Ohthatthyphrenzyhadneverbeencured!thatthymadness,withitsblissfulvisions,wouldreturn!or,ifthatmustnotbe,thatthyscenewouldhastentoaclose!thatdeathwouldcovertheewithhisoblivion!
WhatcanIwishforthee?Thouwhohastviedwiththegreatpreacherofthyfaithinsanctityofmotives,andinelevationabovesensualandselfish!Thouwhomthyfatehaschangedintoparicideandsavage!CanIwishforthecontinuanceofthybeing?No。
Foratimehismovementsseemeddestituteofpurpose。Ifhewalked;ifheturned;ifhisfingerswereentwinedwitheachother;ifhishandswerepressedagainstoppositesidesofhisheadwithaforcesufficienttocrushitintopieces;itwastotearhismindfromself-contemplation;towastehisthoughtsonexternalobjects。
Speedilythistrainwasbroken。Abeamappearedtobedartedintohismind,whichgaveapurposetohisefforts。Anavenuetoescapepresenteditself;andnowheeagerlygazedabouthim:
whenmythoughtsbecameengagedbyhisdemeanour,myfingerswerestretchedasbyamechanicalforce,andtheknife,nolongerheededorofuse,escapedfrommygrasp,andfellunperceivedonthefloor。Hiseyenowlighteduponit;heseizeditwiththequicknessofthought。
Ishriekedaloud,butitwastoolate。Heplungedittothehiltinhisneck;andhislifeinstantlyescapedwiththestreamthatgushedfromthewound。Hewasstretchedatmyfeet;andmyhandsweresprinkledwithhisbloodashefell。
Suchwasthylastdeed,mybrother!Foraspectaclelikethiswasitmyfatetobereserved!Thyeyeswereclosed——thyfaceghastlywithdeath——thyarms,andthespotwherethouliedest,floatedinthylife'sblood!Theseimageshavenot,foramoment,forsakenme。TillIambreathlessandcold,theymustcontinuetohoverinmysight。
Carwin,asIsaid,hadlefttheroom,buthestilllingeredinthehouse。Myvoicesummonedhimtomyaid;butIscarcelynoticedhisre-entrance,andnowfaintlyrecollecthisterrifiedlooks,hisbrokenexclamations,hisvehementavowalsofinnocence,theeffusionsofhispityforme,andhisoffersofassistance。
Ididnotlisten——Iansweredhimnot——Iceasedtoupbraidoraccuse。HisguiltwasapointtowhichIwasindifferent。
Ruffianordevil,blackashellorbrightasangels,thenceforthhewasnothingtome。Iwasincapableofsparingalookorathoughtfromtheruinthatwasspreadatmyfeet。
Whenheleftme,Iwasscarcelyconsciousofanyvariationinthescene。Heinformedtheinhabitantsofthehutofwhathadpassed,andtheyflewtothespot。Carelessofhisownsafety,hehastedtothecitytoinformmyfriendsofmycondition。
Myunclespeedilyarrivedatthehouse。ThebodyofWielandwasremovedfrommypresence,andtheysupposedthatIwouldfollowit;butno,myhomeisascertained;hereIhavetakenupmyrest,andneverwillIgohence,till,likeWieland,Iambornetomygrave。
Importunitywastriedinvain:theythreatenedtoremovemebyviolence——nay,violencewasused;butmysoulprizestoodearlythislittlerooftoenduretobebereavedofit。Forceshouldnotprevailwhenthehoarylocksandsupplicatingtearsofmyunclewereineffectual。Myrepugnancetomovegavebirthtoferociousnessandphrenzywhenforcewasemployed,andtheywereobligedtoconsenttomyreturn。
Theybesoughtme——theyremonstrated——theyappealedtoeverydutythatconnectedmewithhimthatmademe,andwithmyfellow-men——invain。WhileIliveIwillnotgohence。HaveI
notfulfilledmydestiny?
Whywillyetormentmewithyourreasoningsandreproofs?
Canyerestoretomethehopeofmybetterdays?CanyegivemebackCatharineandherbabes?Canyerecalltolifehimwhodiedatmyfeet?
Iwilleat——Iwilldrink——Iwillliedownandriseupatyourbidding——allIaskisthechoiceofmyabode。Whatisthereunreasonableinthisdemand?ShortlywillIbeatpeace。ThisisthespotwhichIhavechoseninwhichtobreathemylastsigh。Denymenot,Ibeseechyou,soslightaboon。
Talknottome,Omyreveredfriend!ofCarwin。Hehastoldtheehistale,andthouexculpatesthimfromalldirectconcerninthefateofWieland。Thissceneofhavockwasproducedbyanillusionofthesenses。Beitso:Icarenotfromwhatsourcethesedisastershaveflowed;itsufficesthattheyhaveswallowedupourhopesandourexistence。
Whathisagencybegan,hisagencyconductedtoaclose。Heintended,bythefinaleffortofhispower,torescuemeandtobanishhisillusionsfrommybrother。Suchishistale,concerningthetruthofwhichIcarenot。HenceforthIfosterbutonewish——Iaskonlyquickdeliverancefromlifeandalltheillsthatattendit——
Gowretch!tormentmenotwiththypresenceandthyprayers——Forgivethee?Willthatavailtheewhenthyfatefulhourshallarrive?Bethouacquittedatthyowntribunal,andthouneedestnotfeartheverdictofothers。Ifthyguiltbecapableofblackerhues,ifhithertothyconsciencebewithoutstain,thycrimewillbemademoreflagrantbythusviolatingmyretreat。Takethyselfawayfrommysightifthouwouldestnotbeholdmydeath!
Thouaregone!murmuringandreluctant!Andnowmyreposeiscoming——myworkisdone!
ChapterXXVII
[Writtenthreeyearsaftertheforegoing,anddatedatMontpellier。]
IimaginedthatIhadforeverlaidasidethepen;andthatI
shouldtakeupmyabodeinthispartoftheworld,wasofalleventstheleastprobable。MydestinyIbelievedtobeaccomplished,andIlookedforwardtoaspeedyterminationofmylifewiththefullestconfidence。
SurelyIhadreasontobewearyofexistence,tobeimpatientofeverytiewhichheldmefromthegrave。Iexperiencedthisimpatienceinitsfullestextent。Iwasnotonlyenamouredofdeath,butconceived,fromtheconditionofmyframe,thattoshunitwasimpossible,eventhoughIhadardentlydesiredit;
yethereamI,athousandleaguesfrommynativesoil,infullpossessionoflifeandofhealth,andnotdestituteofhappiness。
Suchisman。Timewillobliteratethedeepestimpressions。
Griefthemostvehementandhopeless,willgraduallydecayandwearitselfout。Argumentsmaybeemployedinvain:everymoralprescriptionmaybeineffectuallytried:remonstrances,howevercogentorpathetic,shallhavenopowerovertheattention,orshallberepelledwithdisdain;yet,asdayfollowsday,theturbulenceofouremotionsshallsubside,andourfluctuationsbefinallysucceededbyacalm。
Perhaps,however,theconquestofdespairwaschieflyowingtoanaccidentwhichrenderedmycontinuanceinmyownhouseimpossible。Attheconclusionofmylong,and,asIthensupposed,mylastlettertoyou,Imentionedmyresolutiontowaitfordeathintheveryspotwhichhadbeentheprincipalsceneofmymisfortunes。Fromthisresolutionmyfriendsexertedthemselveswiththeutmostzealandperseverancetomakemedepart。Theyjustlyimaginedthattobethussurroundedbymemorialsofthefateofmyfamily,wouldtendtofostermydisease。Aswiftsuccessionofnewobjects,andtheexclusionofeverythingcalculatedtoremindmeofmyloss,wastheonlymethodofcure。
Irefusedtolistentotheirexhortations。Greatasmycalamitywas,tobetornfromthisasylumwasregardedbymeasanaggravationofit。Byaperverseconstitutionofmind,hewasconsideredasmygreatestenemywhosoughttowithdrawmefromascenewhichsuppliedeternalfoodtomymelancholy,andkeptmydespairfromlanguishing。
InrelatingthehistoryofthesedisastersIderivedasimilarspeciesofgratification。Myuncleearnestlydissuadedmefromthistask;buthisremonstranceswereasfruitlessonthisheadastheyhadbeenonothers。Theywouldhavewithheldfrommetheimplementsofwriting;buttheyquicklyperceivedthattowithstandwouldbemoreinjuriousthantocomplywithmywishes。Havingfinishedmytale,itseemedasifthescenewereclosing。Afeverlurkedinmyveins,andmystrengthwasgone。
Anyexertion,howeverslight,wasattendedwithdifficulty,and,atlength,Irefusedtorisefrommybed。
Inowseetheinfatuationandinjusticeofmyconductinitstruecolours。Ireflectuponthesensationsandreasoningsofthatperiodwithwonderandhumiliation。ThatIshouldbeinsensibletotheclaimsandtearsofmyfriends;thatIshouldoverlookthesuggestionsofduty,andflyfromthatpostinwhichonlyIcouldbeinstrumentaltothebenefitofothers;
thattheexerciseofthesocialandbeneficentaffections,thecontemplationofnatureandtheacquisitionofwisdomshouldnotbeseentobemeansofhappinessstillwithinmyreach,is,atthistime,scarcelycredible。
ItistruethatIamnowchanged;butIhavenottheconsolationtoreflectthatmychangewasowingtomyfortitudeortomycapacityforinstruction。Betterthoughtsgrewupinmymindimperceptibly。Icannotbutcongratulatemyselfonthechange,though,perhaps,itmerelyarguesaficklenessoftemper,andadefectofsensibility。
AftermynarrativewasendedIbetookmyselftomybed,inthefullbeliefthatmycareerinthisworldwasonthepointoffinishing。Myuncletookuphisabodewithme,andperformedformeeveryofficeofnurse,physicianandfriend。Onenight,aftersomehoursofrestlessnessandpain,Isunkintodeepsleep。Itstranquillity,however,wasofnolongduration。Myfancybecamesuddenlydistempered,andmybrainwasturnedintoatheatreofuproarandconfusion。Itwouldnotbeeasytodescribethewildandphantasticalincongruitiesthatpesteredme。Myuncle,Wieland,PleyelandCarwinweresuccessivelyandmomentlydiscernedamidstthestorm。SometimesIwasswallowedupbywhirlpools,orcaughtupintheairbyhalf-seenandgiganticforms,andthrownuponpointedrocks,orcastamongthebillows。Sometimesgleamsoflightwereshotintoadarkabyss,onthevergeofwhichIwasstanding,andenabledmetodiscover,foramoment,itsenormousdepthandhideousprecipices。Anon,IwastransportedtosomeridgeofAEtna,andmadeaterrifiedspectatorofitsfierytorrentsanditspillarsofsmoke。
Howeverstrangeitmayseem,Iwasconscious,evenduringmydream,ofmyrealsituation。Iknewmyselftobeasleep,andstruggledtobreakthespell,bymuscularexertions。Thesedidnotavail,andIcontinuedtosuffertheseabortivecreationstillaloudvoice,atmybedside,andsomeoneshakingmewithviolence,putanendtomyreverie。Myeyeswereunsealed,andIstartedfrommypillow。
Mychamberwasfilledwithsmoke,which,thoughinsomedegreeluminous,wouldpermitmetoseenothing,andbywhichI
wasnearlysuffocated。Thecracklingofflames,andthedeafeningclamourofvoiceswithout,burstuponmyears。
StunnedasIwasbythishubbub,scorchedwithheat,andnearlychoakedbytheaccumulatingvapours,Iwasunabletothinkoractformyownpreservation;Iwasincapable,indeed,ofcomprehendingmydanger。
Iwascaughtup,inaninstant,byapairofsinewyarms,bornetothewindow,andcarrieddownaladderwhichhadbeenplacedthere。Myunclestoodatthebottomandreceivedme。I
wasnotfullyawareofmysituationtillIfoundmyselfshelteredintheHUT,andsurroundedbyitsinhabitants。
Byneglectoftheservant,someunextinguishedembershadbeenplacedinabarrelinthecellarofthebuilding。Thebarrelhadcaughtfire;thiswascommunicatedtothebeamsofthelowerfloor,andthencetotheupperpartofthestructure。
Itwasfirstdiscoveredbysomepersonsatadistance,whohastenedtothespotandalarmedmyuncleandtheservants。Theflameshadalreadymadeconsiderableprogress,andmyconditionwasoverlookedtillmyescapewasrenderednearlyimpossible。
Mydangerbeingknown,andaladderquicklyprocured,oneofthespectatorsascendedtomychamber,andeffectedmydeliveranceinthemannerbeforerelated。
Thisincident,disastrousasitmayatfirstseem,had,inreality,abeneficialeffectuponmyfeelings。Iwas,insomedegree,rousedfromthestuporwhichhadseizedmyfaculties。
Themonotonousandgloomyseriesofmythoughtswasbroken。Myhabitationwaslevelledwiththeground,andIwasobligedtoseekanewone。Anewtrainofimages,disconnectedwiththefateofmyfamily,forceditselfonmyattention,andabeliefinsensiblysprungup,thattranquillity,ifnothappiness,wasstillwithinmyreach。Notwithstandingtheshockswhichmyframehadendured,theanguishofmythoughtsnosoonerabatedthanIrecoveredmyhealth。
Inowwillinglylistenedtomyuncle'ssolicitationstobethecompanionofhisvoyage。Preparationswereeasilymade,andafteratediouspassage,wesetourfeetontheshoreoftheancientworld。Thememoryofthepastdidnotforsakeme;butthemelancholywhichitgenerated,andthetearswithwhichitfilledmyeyes,werenotunprofitable。Mycuriositywasrevived,andIcontemplated,withardour,thespectacleoflivingmannersandthemonumentsofpastages。
Inproportionasmyheartwasreinstatedinthepossessionofitsancienttranquillity,thesentimentwhichIhadcherishedwithregardtoPleyelreturned。InashorttimehewasunitedtotheSaxonwoman,andmadehisresidenceintheneighbourhoodofBoston。Iwasgladthatcircumstanceswouldnotpermitaninterviewtotakeplacebetweenus。Icouldnotdesiretheirmisery;butIreapednopleasurefromreflectingontheirhappiness。Time,andtheexertionsofmyfortitude,curedme,insomedegree,ofthisfolly。Icontinuedtolovehim,butmypassionwasdisguisedtomyself;Iconsidereditmerelyasamoretenderspeciesoffriendship,andcherisheditwithoutcompunction。
Throughmyuncle'sexertionsameetingwasbroughtaboutbetweenCarwinandPleyel,andexplanationstookplacewhichrestoredmeatoncetothegoodopinionofthelatter。Thoughseparatedsowidelyourcorrespondencewaspunctualandfrequent,andpavedthewayforthatunionwhichcanonlyendwiththedeathofoneofus。
InmyletterstohimImadenosecretofmyformersentiments。ThiswasathemeonwhichIcouldtalkwithoutpainful,thoughnotwithoutdelicateemotions。ThatknowledgewhichIshouldneverhaveimpartedtoalover,Ifeltlittlescrupletocommunicatetoafriend。
AyearandanhalfelapsedwhenTheresawassnatchedfromhimbydeath,inthehourinwhichshegavehimthefirstpledgeoftheirmutualaffection。Thiseventwasbornebyhimwithhiscustomaryfortitude。Itinducedhim,however,tomakeachangeinhisplans。HedisposedofhispropertyinAmerica,andjoinedmyuncleandme,whohadterminatedthewanderingsoftwoyearsatMontpellier,whichwillhenceforth,Ibelieve,beourpermanentabode。
IfyoureflectuponthatentireconfidencewhichhadsubsistedfromourinfancybetweenPleyelandmyself;onthepassionthatIhadcontracted,andwhichwasmerelysmotheredforatime;andontheesteemwhichwasmutual,youwillnot,perhaps,besurprizedthattherenovationofourintercourseshouldgivebirthtothatunionwhichatpresentsubsists。WhentheperiodhadelapsednecessarytoweakentheremembranceofTheresa,towhomhehadbeenboundbytiesmoreofhonorthanoflove,hetenderedhisaffectionstome。Ineednotaddthatthetenderwaseagerlyaccepted。
PerhapsyouaresomewhatinterestedinthefateofCarwin。
Hesaw,whentoolate,thedangerofimposture。Somuchaffectedwashebythecatastrophetowhichhewasawitness,thathelaidasideallregardtohisownsafety。Hesoughtmyuncle,andconfidedtohimthetalewhichhehadjustrelatedtome。HefoundamoreimpartialandindulgentauditorinMr。
Cambridge,whoimputedtomaniacalillusiontheconductofWieland,thoughheconceivedthepreviousandunseenagencyofCarwin,tohaveindirectlybutpowerfullypredisposedtothisdeplorableperversionofmind。
ItwaseasyforCarwintoeludethepersecutionsofLudloe。
ItwasmerelyrequisitetohidehimselfinaremotedistrictofPennsylvania。This,whenhepartedfromus,hedeterminedtodo。Heisnowprobablyengagedintheharmlesspursuitsofagriculture,andmaycometothink,withoutinsupportableremorse,ontheevilstowhichhisfataltalentshavegivenbirth。Theinnocenceandusefulnessofhisfuturelifemay,insomedegree,atoneforthemiseriessorashlyorsothoughtlesslyinflicted。
Moreurgentconsiderationshinderedmefrommentioning,inthecourseofmyformermournfulrecital,anyparticularsrespectingtheunfortunatefatherofLouisaConway。Thatmansurelywasreservedtobeamonumentofcapriciousfortune。Hissouthernjourniesbeingfinished,hereturnedtoPhiladelphia。
Beforehereachedthecityheleftthehighway,andalightedatmybrother'sdoor。Contrarytohisexpectation,noonecameforthtowelcomehim,orhailhisapproach。Heattemptedtoenterthehouse,butbolteddoors,barredwindows,andasilencebrokenonlybyunansweredcalls,shewedhimthatthemansionwasdeserted。
Heproceededthencetomyhabitation,whichhefound,inlikemanner,gloomyandtenantless。Hissurprizemaybeeasilyconceived。Therusticswhooccupiedthehuttoldhimanimperfectandincredibletale。Hehastedtothecity,andextortedfromMrs。Bayntonafulldisclosureoflatedisasters。
Hewasinuredtoadversity,andrecovered,afternolongtime,fromtheshocksproducedbythisdisappointmentofhisdarlingscheme。OurintercoursedidnotterminatewithhisdeparturefromAmerica。WehavesincemetwithhiminFrance,andlighthasatlengthbeenthrownuponthemotiveswhichoccasionedthedisappearanceofhiswife,inthemannerwhichI
formerlyrelatedtoyou。
Ihavedweltupontheardouroftheirconjugalattachment,andmentionedthatnosuspicionhadeverglanceduponherpurity。This,thoughthebeliefwaslongcherished,recentdiscoverieshaveshewntobequestionable。Nodoubtherintegritywouldhavesurvivedtothepresentmoment,ifanextraordinaryfatehadnotbefallenher。
MajorStuarthadbeenengaged,whileinGermany,inacontestofhonorwithanAiddeCampoftheMarquisofGranby。Hisadversaryhadpropagatedarumourinjurioustohischaracter。
Achallengewassent;ameetingensued;andStuartwoundedanddisarmedthecalumniator。Theoffencewasatonedfor,andhislifesecuredbysuitableconcessions。
Maxwell,thatwashisname,shortlyafter,inconsequenceofsucceedingtoarichinheritance,soldhiscommissionandreturnedtoLondon。Hisfortunewasspeedilyaugmentedbyanopulentmarriage。Interestwashissoleinducementtothismarriage,thoughtheladyhadbeenswayedbyacredulousaffection。Thetruestateofhisheartwasquicklydiscovered,andaseparation,bymutualconsent,tookplace。Theladywithdrewtoanestateinadistantcounty,andMaxwellcontinuedtoconsumehistimeandfortuneinthedissipationofthecapital。
Maxwell,thoughdeceitfulandsensual,possessedgreatforceofmindandspeciousaccomplishments。HecontrivedtomisleadthegenerousmindofStuart,andtoregaintheesteemwhichhismisconduct,foratime,hadforfeited。HewasrecommendedbyherhusbandtotheconfidenceofMrs。Stuart。Maxwellwasstimulatedbyrevenge,andbyalawlesspassion,toconvertthisconfidenceintoasourceofguilt。
Theeducationandcapacityofthiswoman,theworthofherhusband,thepledgeoftheiralliancewhichtimehadproduced,hermaturityinageandknowledgeoftheworld——allcombinedtorenderthisattempthopeless。Maxwell,however,wasnoteasilydiscouraged。Themostperfectbeing,hebelieved,mustowehisexemptionfromvicetotheabsenceoftemptation。Theimpulsesoflovearesosubtile,andtheinfluenceoffalsereasoning,whenenforcedbyeloquenceandpassion,sounbounded,thatnohumanvirtueissecurefromdegeneracy。Allartsbeingtried,everytemptationbeingsummonedtohisaid,dissimulationbeingcarriedtoitsutmostbound,Maxwell,atlength,nearlyaccomplishedhispurpose。Thelady'saffectionswerewithdrawnfromherhusbandandtransferredtohim。Shecouldnot,asyet,bereconciledtodishonor。Alleffortstoinducehertoelopewithhimwereineffectual。Shepermittedherselftolove,andtoavowherlove;butatthislimitshestopped,andwasimmoveable。
Hencethisrevolutioninhersentimentswasproductiveonlyofdespair。Herrectitudeofprinciplepreservedherfromactualguilt,butcouldnotrestoretoherherancientaffection,orsaveherfrombeingthepreyofremorsefulandimpracticablewishes。Herhusband'sabsenceproducedastateofsuspense。This,however,approachedtoaperiod,andshereceivedtidingsofhisintendedreturn。Maxwell,beinglikewiseapprizedofthisevent,andhavingmadealastandunsuccessfulefforttoconquerherreluctancetoaccompanyhiminajourneytoItaly,whitherhepretendedaninvinciblenecessityofgoing,lefthertopursuethemeasureswhichdespairmightsuggest。AtthesametimeshereceivedaletterfromthewifeofMaxwell,unveilingthetruecharacterofthisman,andrevealingfactswhichtheartificesofherseducerhadhithertoconcealedfromher。Mrs。Maxwellhadbeenpromptedtothisdisclosurebyaknowledgeofherhusband'spractices,withwhichhisownimpetuosityhadmadeheracquainted。
Thisdiscovery,joinedtothedelicacyofherscruplesandtheanguishofremorse,inducedhertoabscond。Thisschemewasadoptedinhaste,buteffectedwithconsummateprudence。Shefled,ontheeveofherhusband'sarrival,inthedisguiseofaboy,andembarkedatFalmouthinapacketboundforAmerica。
ThehistoryofherdisastrousintercoursewithMaxwell,themotivesinducinghertoforsakehercountry,andthemeasuresshehadtakentoeffectherdesign,wererelatedtoMrs。
Maxwell,inreplytohercommunication。Betweenthesewomenanancientintimacyandconsiderablesimilitudeofcharactersubsisted。Thisdisclosurewasaccompaniedwithsolemninjunctionsofsecrecy,andtheseinjunctionswere,foralongtime,faithfullyobserved。
Mrs。Maxwell'sabodewassituatedonthebanksoftheWey。
Stuartwasherkinsman;theiryouthhadbeenspenttogether;andMaxwellwasinsomedegreeindebtedtothemanwhomhebetrayed,forhisalliancewiththisunfortunatelady。HeresteemforthecharacterofStuarthadneverbeendiminished。Ameetingbetweenthemwasoccasionedbyatourwhichthelatterhadundertaken,intheyearafterhisreturnfromAmerica,toWalesandthewesterncounties。Thisinterviewproducedpleasureandregretineach。Theirowntransactionsnaturallybecamethetopicsoftheirconversation;andtheuntimelyfateofhiswifeanddaughterwererelatedbytheguest。
Mrs。Maxwell'sregardforherfriend,aswellasforthesafetyofherhusband,persuadedhertoconcealment;buttheformerbeingdead,andthelatterbeingoutofthekingdom,sheventuredtoproduceMrs。Stuart'sletter,andtocommunicateherownknowledgeofthetreacheryofMaxwell。Shehadpreviouslyextortedfromherguestapromisenottopursueanyschemeofvengeance;butthispromisewasmadewhileignorantofthefullextentofMaxwell'sdepravity,andhispassionrefusedtoadheretoit。
AtthistimemyuncleandIresidedatAvignon。AmongtheEnglishresidentthere,andwithwhomwemaintainedasocialintercourse,wasMaxwell。Thisman'stalentsandaddressrenderedhimafavoritebothwithmyuncleandmyself。Hehadeventenderedmehishandinmarriage;butthisbeingrefused,hehadsoughtandobtainedpermissiontocontinuewithustheintercourseoffriendship。Sincealegalmarriagewasimpossible,nodoubt,hisviewswereflagitious。WhetherhehadrelinquishedtheseviewsIwasunabletojudge。
Hewasoneinalargecircleatavillaintheenvirons,towhichIhadlikewisebeeninvited,whenStuartabruptlyenteredtheapartment。Hewasrecognizedwithgenuinesatisfactionbyme,andwithseemingpleasurebyMaxwell。Inashorttime,someaffairofmomentbeingpleaded,whichrequiredanimmediateandexclusiveinterview,Maxwellandhewithdrewtogether。StuartandmyunclehadbeenknowntoeachotherintheGermanarmy;
andthepurposecontemplatedbytheformerinthislongandhastyjourney,wasconfidedtohisoldfriend。
Adefiancewasgivenandreceived,andthebanksofarivulet,aboutaleaguefromthecity,wasselectedasthesceneofthiscontest。Myuncle,havingexertedhimselfinvaintopreventanhostilemeeting,consentedtoattendthemasasurgeon——Nextmorning,atsun-rise,wasthetimechosen。
Ireturnedearlyintheeveningtomylodgings。
Preliminariesbeingsettledbetweenthecombatants,Stuarthadconsentedtospendtheeveningwithus,anddidnotretiretilllate。Onthewaytohishotelhewasexposedtonomolestation,butjustashesteppedwithintheportico,aswarthyandmalignantfigurestartedfrombehindacolumn。andplungedastilettointohisbody。
Theauthorofthistreasoncouldnotcertainlybediscovered;
butthedetailscommunicatedbyStuart,respectingthehistoryofMaxwell,naturallypointedhimoutasanobjectofsuspicion。
Nooneexpressedmoreconcern,onaccountofthisdisaster,thanhe;andhepretendedanardentzealtovindicatehischaracterfromtheaspersionsthatwerecastuponit。Thenceforth,however,Ideniedmyselftohisvisits;andshortlyafterhedisappearedfromthisscene。
Fewpossessedmoreestimablequalities,andabettertitletohappinessandthetranquilhonorsoflonglife,thanthemotherandfatherofLouisaConway:yettheywerecutoffinthebloomoftheirdays;andtheirdestinywasthusaccomplishedbythesamehand。Maxwellwastheinstrumentoftheirdestruction,thoughtheinstrumentwasappliedtothisendinsodifferentamanner。
Ileaveyoutomoralizeonthistale。Thatvirtueshouldbecomethevictimoftreacheryis,nodoubt,amournfulconsideration;butitwillnotescapeyournotice,thattheevilsofwhichCarwinandMaxwellweretheauthors,owedtheirexistencetotheerrorsofthesufferers。AlleffortswouldhavebeenineffectualtosubvertthehappinessorshortentheexistenceoftheStuarts,iftheirownfrailtyhadnotsecondedtheseefforts。Iftheladyhadcrushedherdisastrouspassioninthebud,anddriventheseducerfromherpresence,whenthetendencyofhisartificeswasseen;ifStuarthadnotadmittedthespiritofabsurdrevenge,weshouldnothavehadtodeplorethiscatastrophe。IfWielandhadframedjusternotionsofmoralduty,andofthedivineattributes;orifIhadbeengiftedwithordinaryequanimityorforesight,thedouble-tongueddeceiverwouldhavebeenbaffledandrepelled。