……Yousee，Dick[heread]，Ioughttohavecutyou；butIfelttoocrazy——everythingseemssojollyathome，eventhisstuffyoldLondon。Ofcourse，Iwantedtotalktoyoubadly——thereareheapsofthingsonecan'tsaybyletter——butIshouldhavebeensorryafterwards。Itoldmother。ShesaidIwasquiteright，butIdon'tthinkshetookitin。Don'tyoufeelthattheonlythingthatreallymattersistohaveanideal，andtokeepitsosafethatyoucanalwayslookforwardandfeelthatyouhavebeen——Ican'texactlyexpressmymeaning。Sheltonlitacigaretteandfrowned。Itseemedtohimqueerthatsheshouldsetmorestorebyan"ideal"thanbythefactthattheyhadmetforthefirstandonlytimeinmanyweeks。
"Isupposeshe'sright，"hethoughts——"Isupposeshe'sright。I
oughtnottohavetriedtospeaktoher!"Asamatteroffact，hedidnotatallfeelthatshewasright。
CHAPTERXIII
AN"ATHOME"
OnTuesdaymorninghewanderedofftoPaddington，hopingforachanceviewofheronherwaydowntoHolmOaks；butthesenseoftheridiculous，onwhichhehadbeennurtured，wasstrongenoughtokeephimfromactuallyenteringthestationandlurkingaboutuntilshecame。WithapangofdisappointmentheretracedhisstepsfromPraedStreettothePark，andoncetheretriednofurthertowaylayher。
Hepaidaroundofcallsintheafternoon，mostlyonherrelations；
and，seekingoutAuntCharlotte，hedolorouslyrelatedhisencounterintheRow。Butshefoundit"rathernice，"andonhispressingherwithhisviews，shemurmuredthatitwas"quiteromantic，don'tyouknow。"
"Still，it'sveryhard，"saidShelton；andhewentawaydisconsolate。
Ashewasdressingfordinnerhiseyefellonacardannouncingthe"athome"ofoneofhisowncousins。Herhusbandwasacomposer，andhehadavagueideathathewouldfindatthehouseofacomposersomequiteunusuallyfreekindofatmosphere。Afterdiningattheclub，therefore，hesetoutforChelsea。Thepartywasheldinalargeroomontheground-floor，whichwasalreadycrowdedwithpeoplewhenSheltonentered。Theystoodorsataboutingroupswithsmilesfixedontheirlips，andthelightfromballoon-likelampsfellinpatchesontheirheadsandhandsandshoulders。Someonehadjustfinishedrenderingonthepianoacompositionofhisown。Anexpertcouldatoncehavepickedoutfromamongsttheapplaudingcompanythosewhoweremusiciansbyprofession，fortheireyessparkled，andacertainaciditypervadedtheirenthusiasm。Thisfreemasonryofprofessionalintoleranceflewfromonetotheotherlikeabreathofunanimity，andthefaintshruggingofshoulderswasasharmoniousasthoughoneofthehighwindowshadbeenopenedsuddenly，admittingadraughtofchillMayair。
Sheltonmadehiswayuptohiscousin——afragile，grey-hairedwomaninblackvelvetandVenetianlace，whosestarryeyesbeamedathim，untilherduties，afterthecustomofthesesocialgatherings，obligedhertobreakoffconversationjustasitbegantointeresthim。Hewaspassedontoanotherladywhowasalreadytalkingtotwogentlemen，and，theirvolubilitybeinggreaterthanhisown，hefellintothepositionofobserver。Insteadoftheprofoundquestionshehadsomehowexpectedtohearraised，everybodyseemedgossiping，orsearchingtheheartofsuchtopicsaswheretogothissummer，orhowtogetnewservants。Triflingwithcoffee-cups，theydissectedtheirfellowartistsinthesamewayashissocietyfriendsoftheothernighthaddissectedthefellow——"smart"；andthevarnishonthefloor，thepictures，andthepianowerereflectedonallthefacesaround。Sheltonmovedfromgrouptogroupdisconsolate。
Atall，imposingpersonstoodunderaJapaneseprintholdingthepalmofonehandoutspread；hisunwieldytrunkandthinlegswobbledinconcerttohisingratiatingvoice。
"War，"hewassaying，"isnotnecessary。Warisnotnecessary。I
hopeImakemyselfclear。Warisnotnecessary；itdependsonnationality，butnationalityisnotnecessary。"Heinclinedhisheadtooneside，"Whydowehavenationality？Letusdoawaywithboundaries——letushavethewarfareofcommerce。IfIseeFrancelookingatBrighton"——helaidhisheadupononeside，andbeamedatShelton，——"whatdoIdo？DoIsay'Handsoff'？No。'Takeit，'
Isay——takeit!'"Hearchlysmiled。"Butdoyouthinktheywould？"
AndthesoftnessofhiscontoursfascinatedShelton。
"Thesoldier，"thepersonunderneaththeprintresumed，"isnecessarilyonalowerplane——intellectually——oh，intellectually——
thanthephilanthropist。Hissufferingsarelessacute；heenjoysthecompensationsofadvertisement——youadmitthat？"hebreathedpersuasively。"Forinstance——Iamquiteimpersonal——Isuffer；butdoItalkaboutit？"But，someonegazingathiswell-filledwaistcoat，heputhisthesisinanotherform:"Ihaveoneacreandonecow，mybrotherhasoneacreandonecow:doIseektotakethemawayfromhim？"
Sheltonhazarded，"Perhapsyou'reweakerthanyourbrother。"
"Come，come!Takethecaseofwomen:now，Iconsiderourmarriagelawsarebarbarous。"
ForthefirsttimeSheltonconceivedrespectforthem；hemadeacomprehensivegesture，andedgedhimselfintotheconversationofanothergroup，forfearofhavingallhisprejudicesoverturned。
HereanIrishsculptor，standinginacurve，wassayingfuriously，"Beesarenotbhumpkins，d——ntheirsowls!"AScotchpainter，wholistenedwithacurlysmile，seemedtryingtocompromisethisproposition，whichappearedtohaverelationtothemiddleclasses；
andthoughagreeingwiththeIrishman，Sheltonfeltnervousoverhisdischargeofelectricity。NexttothemtwoAmericanladies，assembledunderthetentofhairbelongingtoawriterofsongs，werediscussingtheemotionsarousedinthembyWagner'soperas。
"Theyproduceastrangeconditionofaffairsinme，"saidthethinnerone。
"They'rejustdivine，"saidthefatter。
"Idon'tknowifyoucancallthefleshlylustsdivine，"repliedthethinner，lookingintotheeyesofthewriterofthesongs。
Amidstallthehumofvoicesandthefumesofsmoke，asenseofformalitywashauntingShelton。SandwichedbetweenaDutchmanandaPrussianpoet，hecouldunderstandneitherofhisneighbours；so，assuminganintelligentexpression，hefelltothinkingthatanassemblageoffreespiritsisasmuchboundbytheconventionofexchangingtheirideasascommonplacepeoplearebytheconventionofhavingnoideastotrafficin。Hecouldnothelpwonderingwhether，inthebulk，theywerenotjustasdependentoneachotherastheinhabitantsofKensington；whether，likelocomotives，theycouldrunatallwithouttheseopportunitiesforblowingoffthesteam，andwhatwouldbeleftwhenthesteamhadallescaped。Somebodyceasedplayingtheviolin，andclosetohimagroupbegandiscussingethics。
Aspirationswereintheairallround，likealotofhungryghosts。
Herealisedthat，iftonguebegiventothem，theflavourvanishesfromideaswhichhauntthesoul。
Againtheviolinistplayed。
"Cockgracious!"saidthePrussianpoet，fallingintoEnglishasthefiddleceased:"Colossal!'Aber，wieeristgrossartig'!"
"HaveyoureadthatthingofBesom's？"askedshrillvoicebehind。
"Oh，mydearfellow!toohorridforwords；heoughttobehanged!"
"Theman'sdreadful，"pursuedthevoice，shrillerthanever；"nothingbutavolcaniceruptionwouldcurehim。"
Sheltonturnedinalarmtolookattheauthorsofthesestatements。
Theyweretwomenofletterstalkingofathird。
"'C'estungrandnaif，voussavez，'"saidthesecondspeaker。
"Thesefellowsdon'texist，"resumedthefirst；hissmalleyesgleamedwithagreenlight，hiswholefacehadalookasifhegnawedhimself。Thoughnotamanofletters，Sheltoncouldnothelprecognisingfromthoseeyeswhatjoyitwastosaythosewords:
"Thesefellowsdon'texist!"
"PoorBesom!YouknowwhatMoultersaid……"
Sheltonturnedaway，asifhehadbeentooclosetoonewhosehairsmeltofcantharides；and，lookingroundtheroom，hefrowned。Withtheexceptionofhiscousin，heseemedtheonlypersonthereofEnglishblood。Americans，Mesopotamians，Irish，Italians，Germans，Scotch，andRussians。Hewasnotcontemptuousofthemforbeingforeigners；itwassimplythatGodandtheclimatehadmadehimdifferentbyaskinorso。
ButatthispointhisconclusionsweredeniedaswillsometimeshappenbyhisintroductiontoanEnglishman——aMajorSomebody，who，withsmoothhairandblondmoustache，neateyesandneaterclothes，seemedalittleanxiousathisownpresencethere。Sheltontookalikingtohim，partlyfromafellow-feeling，andpartlybecauseofthegentlesmilewithwhichhewaslookingathiswife。Almostbeforehehadsaid"Howdoyoudo？"hewasplungedintoadiscussiononimperialism。
"Admittingallthat，"saidShelton，"whatIhateisthehumbugwithwhichweprideourselvesonbenefitingthewholeworldbyourso-
calledcivilisingmethods。"
Thesoldierturnedhisreasonableeyes。
"Butisithumbug？"
Sheltonsawhisargumentinperil。Ifwereallythoughtit，wasithumbug？Hereplied，however:
"Whyshouldwe，asmallportionoftheworld'spopulation，assumethatourstandardsaretheproperonesforeverykindofrace？Ifit'snothumbug，it'ssheerstupidity。"
Thesoldier，withouttakinghishandsoutofhispockets，butbyaforwardmovementofhisfaceshowingthathewasbothsincereandjust，re-replied:
"Well，itmustbeagoodsortofstupidity；itmakesusthenationthatweare。"
Sheltonfeltdazed。Theconversationbuzzedaroundhim；heheardthesmilingprophetsaying，"Altruism，altruism，"andinhisvoiceasomethingseemedtomurmur，"Oh，IdosohopeImakeagoodimpression!"
Helookedatthesoldier'sclear-cutheadwithitswell-openedeyes，thetinycrow's-feetattheircorners，theconventionalmoustache；heenviedthecertaintyoftheconvictionslyingunderthatwell-partedhair。
"IwouldratherweweremenfirstandthenEnglishmen，"hemuttered；
"Ithinkit'sallasortofnationalillusion，andIcan'tstandillusions。"
"Ifyoucometothat，"saidthesoldier，"theworldlivesbyillusions。Imean，ifyoulookathistory，you'llseethatthecreationofillusionshasalwaysbeenherbusiness，don'tyouknow。"
ThisSheltonwasunabletodeny。
"So，"continuedthesoldierwhowasevidentlyahighlycultivatedman，"ifyouadmitthatmovement，labour，progress，andallthathavebeenproperlygiventobuildinguptheseillusions，that——er——infact，they'rewhatyoumightcall——er——theoutcomeoftheworld'screscendo，"herushedhisvoiceoverthisphraseasifashamedofit——"whydoyouwanttodestroythem？"
Sheltonthoughtamoment，then，squeezinghisbodywithhisfoldedarms，replied:
"Thepasthasmadeuswhatweare，ofcourse，andcannotbedestroyed；buthowaboutthefuture？It'ssurelytimetoletinair。Cathedralsareveryfine，andeverybodylikesthesmellofincense；butwhenthey'vebeenforcenturieswithoutventilationyouknowwhattheatmospheregetslike。"
Thesoldiersmiled。
"Byyourownadmission，"hesaid，"you'llonlybecreatingafreshsetofillusions。"
"Yes，"answeredShelton，"butatalleventsthey'llbethehonestnecessitiesofthepresent。"
Thepupilsofthesoldier'seyescontracted；heevidentlyfelttheconversationslippingintogeneralities；heanswered:
"Ican'tseehowthinkingsmallbeerofourselvesisgoingtodousanygood!"
An"AtHome"
Sheltonfeltindangerofbeingthoughtunpracticalingivingventtotheremark:
"Onemusttrustone'sreason；InevercanpersuademyselfthatI
believeinwhatIdon't。"
Aminutelater，withacordialhandshake，thesoldierleft，andSheltonwatchedhiscourteousfigureshepherdinghiswifeaway。
"Dick，mayIintroduceyoutoMr。WilfridCurly？"saidhiscousin'svoicebehind，andhefoundhishandbeingdiffidentlyshakenbyafresh-cheekedyouthwithadome-likeforehead，whowassayingnervously:
"Howdoyoudo？Yes，Iamverywell，thankyou!"
Henowrememberedthatwhenhehadfirstcomeinhehadwatchedthisyouth，whohadbeenstandinginacornerindulginghimselfinprivatesmiles。Hehadanuncommonlook，asthoughhewereinlovewithlife——asthoughheregardeditasacreaturetowhomonecouldputquestionstotheveryend——interesting，humorous，earnestquestions。
Helookeddiffident，andamiable，andindependent，andhe，too，wasevidentlyEnglish。
"Areyougoodatargument？"saidShelton，atalossforaremark。
Theyouthsmiled，blushed，and，puttingbackhishair，replied:
"Yes——no——Idon'tknow；Ithinkmybraindoesn'tworkfastenoughforargument。Youknowhowmanymotionsofthebrain-cellsgotoeachremark。It'sawfullyinteresting"；and，bendingfromthewaistinamathematicalposition，heextendedthepalmofonehand，andstartedtoexplain。
Sheltonstaredattheyouth'shand，athisfrownsandthetapshegavehisforeheadwhilehefoundtheexpressionofhismeaning；hewasintenselyinterested。Theyouthbrokeoff，lookedathiswatch，and，blushingbrightly，said:
"I'mafraidIhavetogo；Ihavetobeatthe'Den'beforeeleven。"
"Imustbeoff，too，"saidShelton。Makingtheiradieuxtogether，theysoughttheirhatsandcoats。
CHAPTERXIV
THENIGHTCLUB
"MayIask，"saidShelton，asheandtheyouthcameoutintothechillystreet，"Whatitisyoucallthe'Den'？"
Hiscompanionsmilinglyanswered:
"Oh，thenightclub。Wetakeitinturns。Thursdayismynight。
Wouldyouliketocome？Youseealotoftypes。It'sonlyroundthecorner。"
Sheltondigestedamomentarydoubt，andanswered:
"Yes，immensely。"
Theyreachedthecornerhouseinanangleofa，dismalstreet，throughtheopendoorofwhichtwomenhadjustgonein。Following，theyascendedsomewooden，fresh-washedstairs，andenteredalargeboardedroomsmellingofsawdust，gas，stalecoffee，andoldclothes。
Itwasfurnishedwithabagatelleboard，twoorthreewoodentables，somewoodenforms，andawoodenbookcase。Seatedonthesewoodenchairs，orstandingup，wereyouths，andoldermenoftheworkingclass，whoseemedtoSheltontobepeculiarlydejected。Onewasreading，oneagainstthewallwasdrinkingcoffeewithadisillusionedair，twowereplayingchess，andagroupoffourmadeaceaselessclatterwiththebagatelle。
Alittlemaninadarksuit，withapaleface，thinlips，anddeep-
set，black-encircledeyes，whowasobviouslyincharge，cameupwithananaemicsmile。
"You'reratherlate，"hesaidtoCurly，and，lookingasceticallyatShelton，asked，withoutwaitingforanintroduction:"Doyouplaychess？There'syoungSmithwantsagame。"
Ayouthwithawoodenface，alreadyseatedbeforeafly-blownchess-
board，askedhimdrearilyifhewouldhaveblackorwhite。Sheltontookwhite；hewasoppressedbythevirtuousodourofthisroom。
Thelittlemanwiththedeepblueeyescameup，stoodinanuneasyattitude，andwatched:
"Yourplay'simproving，youngSmith，"hesaid；"Ishouldthinkyou'dbeabletogiveBanksaknight。"HiseyesrestedonShelton，fanaticalanddreary；hismonotonousvoicewassufferingandnasal；
hewascontinuallysuckinginhislips，asthoughdeterminedtosubdue'theflesh。"Youshouldcomehereoften，"hesaidtoShelton，asthelatterreceivedcheckmate；"you'dgetsomegoodpractice。
We'veseveralveryfairplayers。You'renotasgoodasJonesorBartholomew，"headdedtoShelton'sopponent，asthoughhefeltitadutytoputthelatterinhisplace。"Yououghttocomehereoften，"
herepeatedtoShelton；"wehavealotofverygoodyoungfellows"；
and，withatouchofcomplacence，heglancedaroundthedismalroom。
"Therearenotsomanyheretonightasusual。WhereareToombsandBody？"
Shelton，too，lookedanxiouslyaround。HecouldnothelpfeelingsympathywithToombsandBody。
"They'regettingslack，I'mafraid，"saidthelittledeep-eyedman。
"Ourprincipleistoamuseeveryone。Excusemeaminute；IseethatCarpenterisdoingnothing。"Hecrossedovertothemanwhohadbeendrinkingcoffee，butSheltonhadbarelytimetoglanceathisopponentandtrytothinkofaremark，beforethelittlemanwasback。"Doyouknowanythingaboutastronomy？"heaskedofShelton。
"Wehaveseveralveryinterestedinastronomy；ifyoucouldtalktothemalittleitwouldhelp。"
Sheltonmadeamotionofalarm。
"Please-no，"saidhe；"I——"
"Iwishyou'dcomesometimesonWednesdays；wehavemostinterestingtalks，andaserviceafterwards。We'realwaysanxioustogetnewblood"；andhiseyessearchedShelton'sbrown，rathertough-lookingface，asthoughtryingtoseehowmuchbloodtherewasinit。"YoungCurlysaysyou'vejustbeenaroundtheworld；youcoulddescribeyourtravels。"
"MayIask，"saidShelton，"howyourclubismadeup？"
Againalookofcomplacency，andblessedassuagement，visitedthelittleman。
"Oh，"hesaid，"wetakeanybody，unlessthere'sanythingagainstthem。TheDaySocietyseestothat。Ofcourse，weshouldn'ttakeanyoneiftheyweretoreportagainstthem。Yououghttocometoourcommitteemeetings；they'reonMondaysatseven。Thewomen'sside，too——"
"Thankyou，"saidShelton；"you'reverykind——"
"Weshouldbepleased，"saidthelittleman；andhisfaceseemedtosuffermorethanever。"They'remostlyyoungfellowshereto-night，butwehavemarriedmen，too。Ofcourse，we'reverycarefulaboutthat，"headdedhastily，asthoughhemighthaveinjuredShelton'sprejudices——"that，anddrink，andanythingcriminal，youknow。"
"Anddoyougivepecuniaryassistance，too？"
"Ohyes，"repliedthelittleman；"ifyouweretocometoourcommitteemeetingsyouwouldseeforyourself。Everythingismostcarefullygoneinto；weendeavourtosiftthewheatfromthechaff。"
"Isuppose，"saidShelton，"youfindagreatdealofchaff？"
Thelittlemansmiledasufferingsmile。Thetwangofhistonelessvoicesoundedatrifleshriller。
"Iwasobligedtorefuseamanto-day——amanandawoman，quiteyoungpeople，withthreesmallchildren。Hewasillandoutofwork；butoninquirywefoundthattheywerenotmanandwife。"
Therewasaslightpause；thelittleman'seyeswerefastenedonhisnails，and，withanappearanceofenjoyment，hebegantobitethem。
Shelton'sfacehadgrownatriflered。
"Andwhatbecomesofthewomanandthechildreninacaselikethat？"
hesaid。
Thelittleman'seyesbegantosmoulder。
"Wemakeapointofnotencouragingsin，ofcourse。Excusemeaminute；Iseethey'vefinishedbagatelle。"
Hehurriedoff，andinamomenttheclackofbagatellebeganagain。
Hehimselfwasplayingwithacoldandspuriousenergy，runningaftertheballsandexhortingtheotherplayers，uponwhomawoodenacquiescenceseemedtofall。
Sheltoncrossedtheroom，andwentuptoyoungCurly。Hewassittingonabench，smilingtohimselfhisprivatesmiles。
"Areyoustayingheremuchlonger？"Sheltonasked。
YoungCurlyrosewithnervoushaste。
"I'mafraid，"hesaid，"there'snobodyveryinterestinghereto-
night。"
"Oh，notatall!"saidShelton；"onthecontrary。OnlyI'vehadarathertiringday，andsomehowIdon'tfeeluptothestandardhere。"
Hisnewacquaintancesmiled。
"Oh，really!doyouthink——thatis——"
Buthehadnottimetofinishbeforetheclackofbagatelleballsceased，andthevoiceofthelittledeep-eyedmanwasheardsaying:
"Anybodywhowantsabookwillputhisnamedown。Therewillbetheusualprayer-meetingonWednesdaynext。Willyouallgoquietly？
Iamgoingtoturnthelightsout。"
Onegas-jetvanished，andtheremainingjetflaredsuddenly。Byitsharderglarethewoodenroomlookedhardertoo，anddisenchanting。
Thefiguresofitsoccupantsbeganfilingthroughthedoor。Thelittlemanwasleftinthecentreoftheroom，hisdeepeyessmoulderinguponthebacksoftheretreatingmembers，histhumbandfingerraisedtotheturncockofthemetre。
"Doyouknowthispart？"askedyoungCurlyastheyemergedintothestreet。"It'sreallyjolly；oneofthedarkestbitsinLondon——itisreally。Ifyoucare，Icantakeyouthroughanawfullydangerousplacewherethepolicenevergo。"HeseemedsoanxiousforthehonourthatSheltonwasloathtodisappointhim。"Icomehereprettyoften，"hewenton，astheyascendedasortofalleyramblingdarklybetweenawallandrowofhouses。
"Why？"askedShelton；"itdoesn'tsmelltoonice。"
Theyoungmanthrewuphisnoseandsniffed，asifeagertoaddanynewscentthatmightbeabouttohisknowledgeoflife。
"No，that'soneofthereasons，youknow，"hesaid；"onemustfindout。Thedarknessisjolly，too；anythingmighthappenhere。Lastweektherewasamurder；there'salwaysthechanceofone。"
Sheltonstared；butthechargeofmorbidnesswouldnotlieagainstthisfresh-cheekedstripling。
"There'sasplendiddrainjusthere，"hisguideresumed；"thepeoplearedyinglikefliesoftyphoidinthosethreehouses"；andunderthefirstlightheturnedhisgrave，cherubicfacetoindicatethehouses。"IfwewereintheEastEnd，Icouldshowyouotherplacesquiteasgood。There'sacoffee-stallkeeperinonethatknowsallthethievesinLondon；he'sasplendidtype，but，"headded，lookingalittleanxiouslyatShelton，"itmightn'tbesafeforyou。Withmeit'sdifferent；they'rebeginningtoknowme。I'venothingtotake，yousee。"
"I'mafraiditcan'tbeto-night，"saidShelton；"Imustgetback。"
"DoyoumindifIwalkwithyou？It'ssojollynowthestarsareout。"
"Delighted，"saidShelton；"doyouoftengotothatclub？"
Hiscompanionraisedhishat，andranhisfingersthroughhishair。
"They'rerathertoohigh-classforme，"hesaid。"Iliketogowhereyoucanseepeopleeat——schooltreats，orsomewhereinthecountry。Itdoesonegoodtoseethemeat。Theydon'tgetenough，yousee，asarule，tomakebone；it'sallusedupforbrainandmuscle。Therearesomeplacesinthewinterwheretheygivethembreadandcocoa；Iliketogotothose。"
"Iwentonce，"saidShelton，"butIfeltashamedforputtingmynosein。"
"Oh，theydon'tmind；mostofthemarehalf-deadwithcold，youknow。
Youseesplendidtypes；lotsofdipsomaniacs……It'susefultome，"hewentonastheypassedapolice-station，"towalkaboutatnight；onecantakesomuchmorenotice。IhadajollynightlastweekinHydePark；achancetostudyhumannaturethere。"
"Anddoyoufinditinteresting？"askedShelton。
Hiscompanionsmiled。
"Awfully，"hereplied；"Isawafellowpickthreepockets。"
"Whatdidyoudo？"
"Ihadajollytalkwithhim。"
Sheltonthoughtofthelittledeep-eyedman；whomadeapointofnotencouragingsin。
"HewasoneoftheprofessionalsfromNottingHill，youknow；toldmehislife。Neverhadachance，ofcourse。ThemostinterestingpartwastellinghimI'dseenhimpickthreepockets——likecreepingintoacave，whenyoucan'ttellwhat'sinside。"
"Well？"
"Heshowedmewhathe'dgot——onlyfivepencehalfpenny。"
"Andwhatbecameofyourfriend？"askedShelton。
"Oh，wentoff；hehadasplendidlylowforehead。"
TheyhadreachedShelton'srooms。
"Willyoucomein，"saidthelatter，"andhaveadrink？"
Theyouthsmiled，blushed，andshookhishead。
"No，thankyou，"hesaid；"IhavetowalktoWhitechapel。I'mlivingonporridgenow；splendidstuffformakingbone。Igenerallyliveonporridgeforaweekattheendofeverymonth。It'sthebestdietifyou'rehardup"；oncemoreblushingandsmiling，hewasgone。
Sheltonwentupstairsandsatdownonhisbed。Hefeltalittlemiserable。Sittingthere，slowlypullingouttheendsofhiswhitetie，disconsolate，hehadavisionofAntoniawithhergazefixedwonderinglyonhim。Andthiswonderofherscameasarevelation——
justasthatmorning，when，lookingfromhiswindow，hehadseenapasser-bystopsuddenlyandscratchhisleg；andithadcomeuponhiminaflashthatthatmanhadthoughtsandfeelingsofhisown。HewouldneverknowwhatAntoniareallyfeltandthought。"TillIsawheratthestation，Ididn'tknowhowmuchIlovedherorhowlittleIknewher"；and，sighingdeeply，hehurriedintobed。
CHAPTERXV
POLETOPOLE
ThewaitinginLondonforJulytocomewasdailymoreunbearabletoShelton，andifithadnotbeenforFerrand，whostillcametobreakfast，hewouldhavedesertedtheMetropolis。OnJunefirstthelatterpresentedhimselfratherlaterthanwashiscustom，andannouncedthat，throughafriend，hehadheardofapositionasinterpretertoanhotelatFolkestone。
"IfIhadmoneytofacethefirstnecessities，hesaid，swiftlyturningoveracollectionofsmearedpaperswithhisyellowfingers，asifsearchingforhisownidentity，"I'dleavetoday。ThisLondonblackensmyspirit。"
"Areyoucertaintogetthisplace，"askedShelton。
"Ithinkso，"theyoungforeignerreplied；"I'vegotsomegoodenoughrecommendations。"
Sheltoncouldnothelpadubiousglanceatthepapersinhishand。A
hurtlookpassedontoFerrand'scurlylipsbeneathhisnascentredmoustache。
"Youmeanthattohavefalsepapersisasbadastheft。No，no；I
shallneverbeathief——I'vehadtoomanyopportunities，"saidhe，withprideandbitterness。"That'snotinmycharacter。Ineverdoharmtoanyone。This"——hetouchedthepapers——"isnotdelicate，butitdoesharmtonoone。Ifyouhavenomoneyyoumusthavepapers；
theystandbetweenyouandstarvation。Society，hasanexcellenteyeforthehelpless——itnevertreadsonpeopleunlessthey'rereallydown。"HelookedatShelton。
"You'vemademewhatIam，amongstyou，"heseemedtosay；，"nowputupwithme!"
"Buttherearealwaystheworkhouses，"Sheltonremarkedatlast。
"Workhouses!"returnedFerrand；"certainlythereare——regularpalaces:Iwilltellyouonething:I'veneverbeeninplacessodiscouragingasyourworkhouses；theytakeone'sveryheartout。"
"Ialwaysunderstood，"saidSheltoncoldly；"thatoursystemwasbetterthanthatofothercountries。"
Ferrandleanedoverinhischair，anelbowonhisknee，hisfavouriteattitudewhenparticularlycertainofhispoint。
"Wellhereplied，"it'salwayspermissibletothinkwellofyourowncountry。But，frankly，I'vecomeoutofthoseplacesherewithlittlestrengthandnoheartatall，andIcantellyouwhy。"Hislipslosttheirbitterness，andhebecameanartistexpressingtheresultofhisexperience。"Youspendyourmoneyfreely，youhavefinebuildings，self-respectingofficers，butyoulackthespiritofhospitality。Thereasonisplain；youhaveahorroroftheneedy。
Youinviteus——andwhenwecomeyoutreatusjustlyenough，butasifwewerenumbers，criminals，beneathcontempt——asifwehadinflictedapersonalinjuryonyou；andwhenwegetoutagain，wearenaturallydegraded。"
Sheltonbithislips。
"Howmuchmoneywillyouwantforyourticket，andtomakeastart？"
heasked。
ThenervousgestureescapingFerrandatthisjuncturebetrayedhowfarthemostindependentthinkersaredependentwhentheyhavenomoneyintheirpockets。HetookthenotethatSheltonprofferedhim。
"Athousandthanks，"saidhe；"Ishallneverforgetwhatyouhavedoneforme"；andSheltoncouldnothelpfeelingthattherewastrueemotionbehindhistitteroffarewell。
HestoodatthewindowwatchingFerrandstartintotheworldagain；
thenlookedbackathisowncomfortableroom，withthenumberofthingsthathadaccumulatedsomehow——thephotographsofcountlessfriends，theoldarm-chairs，thestockofcolouredpipes。Intohimrestlessnesshadpassedwiththefarewellclaspoftheforeigner'sdamphand。TowaitaboutinLondonwasunbearable。
Hetookhishat，and，heedlessofdirection，walkedtowardstheriver。Itwasaclear，brightday，withableakwinddrivingshowersbeforeit。DuringoneofsuchSheltonfoundhimselfinLittleBlankStreet。"IwonderhowthatlittleFrenchmanthatIsawisgettingon!"hethought。Onafinedayhewouldprobablyhavepassedbyontheotherside；henowenteredandtappeduponthewicket。
No。3LittleBlankStreethadabatednothingofitsstone-flaggeddreariness；thesameblowsywomanansweredhisinquiry。Yes，Carolanwasalwaysin；youcouldnevercatchhimout——seemedafraidtogointothestreet!TohercallthelittleFrenchmanmadehisappearanceaspunctuallyasifhehadbeentherabbitofaconjurer。
Hisfacewasasyellowasaguinea。
"Ah!it'syou，monsieur!"hesaid。
"Yes，"saidShelton；"andhowareyou？"
"It'sfivedayssinceIcameoutofhospital，"mutteredthelittleFrenchman，tappingonhischest；"acrisisofthisbadatmosphere。
Ilivehere，shutupinabox；itdoesmeharm，beingfromtheSouth。
Ifthere'sanythingIcandoforyou，monsieur，itwillgivemepleasure。"
"Nothing，"repliedShelton，"Iwasjustpassing，andthoughtIshouldliketohearhowyouweregettingon。"
"Comeintothekitchen，——monsieur，thereisnobodyinthere。'Brr!
Ilfaitunfroidetonnant'!"
"Whatsortofcustomershaveyoujustnow？"askedShelton，astheypassedintothekitchen。
"Alwaysthesameclientele，"repliedthelittleman；"notsonumerous，ofcourse，itbeingsummer。"
"Couldn'tyoufindanythingbetterthanthistodo？"
Thebarber'scrow's-feetradiatedirony。
"WhenIfirstcametoLondon，"saidhe，"Isecuredanengagementatoneofyourpublicinstitutions。Ithoughtmyfortunemade。_
Imagine，monsieur，inthatsacredplaceIwasobligedtoshaveattherateoftenapenny!Here，it'strue，theydon'tpaymehalfthetime；butwhenI'mpaid，I'mpaid。Inthis，climate，andbeing'poitrinaire'，onedoesn'tmakeexperiments。Ishallfinishmydayshere。Haveyouseenthatyoungmanwhointerestedyou？There'sanother!Hehasspirit，asIhadonce——'ilfaitdelaphilosophie'，asIdo——andyouwillsee，monsieur，itwillfinishhim。Inthisworldwhatyouwantistohavenospirit。Spiritruinsyou。"
Sheltonlookedsidewaysatthelittlemanwithhissardonic，yellow，half-deadface，andtheincongruityoftheword"spirit"inhismouthstruckhimsosharplythathesmiledasmilewithmorepityinitthananyburstoftears。
"Shallwe'sitdown？"hesaid，offeringacigarette。
"Merci，monsieur，itisalwaysapleasuretosmokeagoodcigarette。
Youremember，thatoldactorwhogaveyouaJeremiad？Well，he'sdead。Iwastheonlyoneathisbedside；'unvraidrole'。Hewasanotherwhohadspirit。Andyouwi11see，monsieur，thatyoungmaninwhomyoutakeaninterest，he'lldieinahospital，orinsome。
holeorother，orevenonthehighroad；havingclosedhiseyesoncetoooftensomecoldnight；andallbecausehehassomethinginhimwhichwillnotacceptthingsastheyare，believingalwaysthattheyshouldbebetter。'Iln'yariensdeplustragique'!"
"Accordingtoyou，then，"saidShelton——andtheconversationseemedtohimofasuddentohavetakentoopersonalaturn——"rebellionofanysortisfatal。"
"Ah!"repliedthelittleman，withtheeagernessofonewhoseidealitistositundertheawningofacaf？andtalklifeupsidedown，"youposemeagreatproblemthere!Ifonemakesrebellion；itisalwaysprobablethatonewilldonogoodtoanyoneandharmone'sself。Thelawofthemajorityarrangesthat。ButIwoulddrawyourattentiontothis"——andhepaused；asifitwerearealdiscoverytoblowsmokethroughhisnose——"ifyourebelitisinalllikelihoodbecauseyouareforcedbyyournaturetorebel；thisisoneofthemostcertainthingsinlife。Inanycase，itisnecessarytoavoidfallingbetweentwostools——whichisunpardonable，"heendedwithcomplacence。
Sheltonthoughthehadneverseenamanwholookedmorecompletelyasifhehadfallenbetweentwostools，andhehadinspirationenoughtofeelthatthelittlebarber'sintellectualrebellionandtheactionlogicallyrequiredbyithadnomorethanabowingacquaintanceship。
"Bynature，"wentonthelittleman，"Iamanoptimist；itisinconsequenceofthisthatInowmakepessimism。Ihavealwayshadideals；seeingmyselfcutofffromthemforever，Imustcomplain；tocomplain，monsieur，isverysweet!"
Sheltonwonderedwhattheseidealshadbeen，buthadnoanswerready；
sohenodded，andagainheldouthiscigarettes，for，likeatrueSoutherner，thelittlemanhadthrownthefirstaway，halfsmoked。
"Thegreatestpleasureinlife，"continuedtheFrenchman，withabow，"istotalkalittletoabeingwhoiscapableofunderstandingyou。
Atpresentwehavenoonehere，nowthatthatoldactor'sdead。Ah!
therewasamanwhowasrebellionincarnate!Hemaderebellionasothermenmakemoney，'c'etaitsonmetier'；whenhewasnolongercapableofactiverevolution，hemadeitgettingdrunk。AtthelastthiswashisonlywayofprotestingagainstSociety。Aninterestingpersonality，'jeleregrettebeaucoup'。But，asyousee，hediedingreatdistress，withoutasoultowavehimfarewell，becauseasyoucanwellunderstand，monsieur，Idon'tcountmyself。Hedieddrunk。
'C'etaitunhomme'!"
Sheltonhadcontinuedstaringkindlyatthelittleman；thebarberaddedhastily:
"It'sdifficulttomakeanendlikethatonehasmomentsofweakness。"
"Yes，"assentedShelton，"onehasindeed。"
Thelittlebarberlookedathimwithcynicaldiscretion。
"Oh!"hesaid，"it'stothedestitutethatsuchthingsareimportant。Whenonehasmoney，allthesematters——"
Heshruggedhisshoulders。Asmilehadlodgedamongsthiscrow's-
feet；hewavedhishandasthoughtoendthesubject。
AsenseofhavingbeenexposedcameoverShelton。
"Youthink，then，"saidhe，"thatdiscontentispeculiartothedestitute？"
"Monsieur，"repliedthelittlebarber，"aplutocratknowstoowellthatifhemixesinthat'galere'there'snotadoginthestreetsmorelostthanhe。"
Sheltonrose。
"Therainisover。Ihopeyou'llsoonbebetter；perhapsyou'llacceptthisinmemoryofthatoldactor，"andheslippedasovereignintothelittleFrenchman'shand。
Thelatterbowed。
"Wheneveryouarepassing，monsieur，"hesaideagerly，"Ishallbecharmedtoseeyou。"
AndSheltonwalkedaway。"'Notadoginthestreetsmorelost，'"
thoughthe；"nowwhatdidhemeanbythat？"
Somethingofthat"lostdog"feelinghadgrippedhisspirit。Anothermonthofwaitingwouldkillallthesavourofanticipation，mightevenkillhislove。Intheexcitementofhissensesandhisnerves，causedbythisstrainofwaiting，everythingseemedtoovivid；allwasbeyondlifesize；likeArt——whosetruths；toostrongfordailyuse，arethus，unpopularwithhealthypeople。Aswillthe，bones；inawornface，thespiritunderlyingthingshadreachedthesurface；
themeannessandintolerablemeasureofhardfacts，weretooapparent。Somecravingforhelp，someinstinct，drovehimintoKensington，forhefoundhimselfbeforehis，mother'shouse。
Providenceseemedbentonflinginghimfrompoletopole。
Mrs。Sheltonwasintown；and，thoughitwasthefirstofJune，satwarmingherfeetbeforeafire；herface，withitspleasantcolour，wascrow's-footedlikethelittlebarber's，butfromoptimism，notrebellion。She，smiledwhenshesawherson；andthewrinklesroundhereyestwinkled，withvitality。
"Well，mydearboy，"shesaid，"it'slovelytoseeyou。Andhowisthatsweetgirl？"
"Verywell，thankyou，"repliedShelton。
"Shemustbesuchadear!"
"Mother，"stammeredShelton，"Imustgiveitup。"
"Giveitup？MydearDick，givewhatup？Youlookquiteworried。
Comeandsitdown，andhaveacosychat。Cheerup!"AndMrs。
Shelton；withherheadaskew，gazedathersonquiteirrepressibly。
Mother，"saidShelton，who，confrontedbyheroptimism，hadnever，sincehistimeoftrialbegan，feltsowretchedlydejected，"Ican'tgoonwaitingaboutlikethis。"
"Mydearboy，whatisthematter？"；
"Everythingiswrong!
"Wrong？"criedMrs。Shelton。"Come，tellmeall，aboutit!"
ButShelton，shookhishead。
"Yousurelyhavenothadaquarrel——"
Mrs。