"Nowdon'tbeaffected,Polly,butjusttellme,likeadear,hasn'theproposed?"
"No,hehasn't。"
"Don'tyouthinkhemeansto?"
"Idon'tthinkhe'lleversayawordtome。"
"Well,Iamsurprised!"AndFannydrewalongbreath,asifaloadwasoffhermind。Thensheaddedinachangedtone:
"Butdon'tyoulovehim,Polly?"
"No。"
"Truly?"
"Truly,Fan。"
Neitherspokeforaminute,buttheheartofoneofthembeatjoyfullyandtheduskhidaveryhappyface。
"Don'tyouthinkhecaredforyou,dear?"askedFanny,presently。"I
don'tmeantobeprying,butIreallythoughthedid。"
"That'snotformetosay,butifitisso,it'sonlyapassingfancyandhe'llsoongetoverit。"
"Dotellmeallaboutit;I'msointerested,andIknowsomethinghashappened,Ihearitinyourvoice,forIcan'tseeyourface。"
"DoyourememberthetalkweoncehadafterreadingoneofMissEdgeworth'sstoriesaboutnotlettingone'sloverscometoadeclarationifonedidn'tlovethem?"
"Yes。"
"Andyougirlssaiditwasn'tproper,andIsaiditwashonest,anyway。
Well,IalwaysmeanttotryitifIgotachance,andIhave。Mindyou,Idon'tsayMr。Sydneylovedme,forheneversaidso,andneverwill,now,butIdidfancyheratherlikedmeandmightdomoreifIdidn'tshowhimthatitwasofnouse。"
"Andyoudid?"criedFanny,muchexcited。
"Ijustgavehimahintandhetookit。Hemeanttogoawaybeforethat,sodon'tthinkhisheartisbroken,ormindwhatsillytattlerssay。I
didn'tlikehismeetingmesomuchandtoldhimsobygoinganotherway。
Heunderstood,andbeingagentleman,madenofuss。IdaresayhethoughtIwasavaingoose,andlaughedatmeformypains,likeChurchillin'Helen。'
"
"No,hewouldn't;He'dlikeitandrespectyoufordoingit。But,Polly,itwouldhavebeenagrandthingforyou。"
"Ican'tsellmyselfforanestablishment。"
"Mercy!Whatanidea!"
"Well,that'stheplainEnglishofhalfyourfashionablematches。I
'm'odd,'youknow,andprefertobeanindependentspinsterandteachmusicallmydays。"
"Ah,butyouwon't。Youweremadeforanice,happyhomeofyourown,andIhopeyou'llgetit,Polly,dear,"saidFannywarmly,feelingsogratefultoPolly,thatshefoundithardnottopouroutallhersecretatonce。
"IhopeImay;butIdoubtit,"answeredPollyinatonethatmadeFannywonderifshe,too,knewwhatheartachemeant。
"Somethingtroublesyou,Polly,whatisit?Confideinme,asIdoinyou,"saidFannytenderly,forallthecoldnessshehadtriedtohidefromPolly,hadmeltedinthesuddensunshinethathadcometoher。
"Doyoualways?"askedherfriend,leaningforwardwithanirresistibledesiretowinbacktheold-timeloveandconfidence,tooprecioustobeexchangedforalittlebriefexcitementorthebarrenhonorof"baggingabird,"touseTrix'selegantexpression。Fannyunderstooditthen,andthrewherselfintoPolly'sarms,crying,withashowerofgratefultears;­;
"Oh,mydear!mydear!didyoudoitformysake?"
AndPollyheldherclose,sayinginthattendervoiceofhers,­;
"Ididn'tmeantoletaloverpartthispairoffriendsifIcouldhelpit。"ChapterXV。ChapterXV。CHAPTERXVBREAKERSAHEADGOINGintotheShaws'oneevening,PollyfoundMaudsittingonthestairs,withatroubledface。
"Oh,Polly,I'msogladyou'vecome!"criedthelittlegirl,runningtohugher。
"What'sthematter,deary?"
"Idon'tknow;somethingdreadfulmusthavehappened,formammaandFanarecryingtogetherupstairs,papaisshutupinthelibrary,andTomisragingroundlikeabear,inthedining-room。"
"Iguessitisn'tanythingverybad。Perhapsmammaissickerthanusual,orpapaworriedaboutbusiness,orTominsomenewscrape。Don'tlooksofrightened,Maudie,butcomeintotheparlorandseewhatI'vegotforyou,"saidPolly,feelingthattherewastroubleofsomesortintheair,buttryingtocheerthechild,forherlittlefacewasfullofasorrowfulanxiety,thatwenttoPolly'sheart。
"Idon'tthinkIcanlikeanythingtillIknowwhatthematteris,"answeredMaud。"It'ssomethinghorrid,I'msure,forwhenpapacamehome,hewentuptomamma'sroom,andtalkedeversolong,andmammacriedveryloud,andwhenItriedtogoin,Fanwouldn'tletme,andshelookedscaredandstrange。Iwantedtogotopapawhenhecamedown,butthedoorwaslocked,andhesaid,'Notnow,mylittlegirl,'andthenIsatherewaitingtoseewhatwouldhappen,andTomcamehome。ButwhenIrantotellhim,hesaid,'Goaway,anddon'tbother,'andjusttookmebytheshouldersandputmeout。Oh,dear!everythingissoqueerandhorrid,Idon'tknowwhattodo。"
Maudbegantocry,andPollysatdownonthestairsbesideher,tryingtocomforther,whileherownthoughtswerefullofavaguefear。Allatoncethedining-roomdooropened,andTom'sheadappeared。AsingleglanceshowedPollythatsomethingwasthematter,forthecareandelegancewhichusuallymarkedhisappearancewereentirelywanting。Histiewasunderoneear,hishairinatoss,thecherishedmoustachehadaneglectedair,andhisfaceanexpressionbothexcited,ashamed,anddistressed;
evenhisvoicebetrayeddisturbance,forinsteadoftheaffablegreetingheusuallybestowedupontheyounglady,heseemedtohavefallenbackintotheblufftoneofhisboyishdays,andallhesaidwas,­;
"Hullo,Polly。"
"Howdoyoudo?"answeredPolly。
"I'minadevilofamess,thankyou;sendthatchickenupstairs,andcomeinandhearaboutit。"hesaid,asifhehadbeenlongingtotellsomeone,andwelcomedprudentPollyasaspecialprovidence。
"Goup,deary,andamuseyourselfwiththisbook,andthesegingersnapsthatImadeforyou,there'sagoodchild,"whisperedPolly,asMaudrubbedawayhertears,andstaredatTomwithround,inquisitiveeyes。
"You'lltellmeallaboutit,byandby,won'tyou?"shewhispered,preparingtoobey。
"IfImay,"answeredPolly。
Mauddepartedwithunexpecteddocility,andPollywentintothedining-room,whereTomwaswanderingaboutinarestlessway。Ifhehadbeen"raginglikeabear,"Pollywouldn'thavecared,shewassopleasedthathewantedher,andsogladtobeaconfidante,assheusedtobeinthehappyolddays,thatshewouldjoyfullyhavefacedamuchmoreformidablepersonthanrecklessTom。
"Now,then,whatisit?"shesaid,comingstraighttothepoint。
"Guess。"
"You'vekilledyourhorseracing。"
"Worsethanthat。"
"Youaresuspendedagain。"
"Worsethanthat。"
"Trixhasrunawaywithsomebody,"criedPolly,withagasp。
"Worsestill。"
"Oh,Tom,youhaven'thorsewhippedorshotanyone?"
"CameprettynearblowingmyownbrainsoutbutyouseeIdidn't。"
"Ican'tguess;tellme,quick。"
"Well,I'mexpelled。"
Tompausedontherugashegavetheanswer,andlookedatPollytoseehowshetookit。Tohissurprisesheseemedalmostrelieved,andafteraminutesilence,said,soberly,­;
"That'sbad,verybad;butitmighthavebeenworse。"
"Itisworse;"andTomwalkedawayagainwithadespairingsortofgroan。
"Don'tknockthechairsabout,butcomeandsitdown,andtellmequietly。"
"Can'tdoit。"
"Well,goon,then。Areyoutrulyexpelled?Can'titbemadeup?Whatdidyoudo?"
"It'satruebillthistime。IjusthadarowwiththeChapelwatchman,andknockedhimdown。Ifitwasafirstoffence,Imighthavegotoff;
butyouseeI'vehadnoendofnarrowescapes,andthiswasmylastchance;
I'velostit,andnowthere'llbethedickenstopay。Iknewitwasallupwithme,soIdidn'twaittobeturnedout,butjusttookmyselfoff。"
"Whatwillyourfathersay?"
"Itwillcomehardonthegovernor,buttheworstofitis­;"thereTomstopped,andstoodaminuteinthemiddleoftheroomwithhisheaddown,asifhedidn'tfinditeasytotellevenkindlittlePolly。Thenoutcamethetruthallinabreath,justasheusedtoboltouthisboyishmisdemeanors,andthenbackupagainstthewallreadytotaketheconsequences。
"Ioweanawfullotofmoneythatthegovernordon'tknowabout。"
"Oh,Tom,howcouldyou?"
"I'vebeenanextravagantrascal,Iknowit,andI'mthunderingsorry,butthatdon'thelpafellow,I'vegottotellthedearoldbuffer,andthere'swhereitcuts。"
AtanothertimePollywouldhavelaughedatthecontrastbetweenTom'sfaceandhislanguage,buttherewasasincereremorse,whichmadeeventhedreadfulword"buffer"rathertouchingthanotherwise。
"Hewillbeveryangry,Idaresay;buthe'llhelpyou,won'the?Healwaysdoes,Fansays。"
"That'stheworstofit,yousee。He'spaidupsooften,thatthelasttimehesaidhispatiencecouldn'tstandit,norhispocketeither,andifIgotintoanymorescrapesofthatsort,ImustgetoutasIcould。
ImeanttobeassteadyasBunkerHillMonument;buthereIamagain,worsethanever,forlastquarterIdidn'tsayanythingtofather,hewassobotheredbythelossofthoseshipsjustthen,sothingshavemountedupconfoundedly。"
"Whathaveyoudonewithallyourmoney?"
"HangedifIknow。"
"Can'tyoupayitanyway?"
"Don'tseehow,asIhaven'tacentofmyown,andnowayofgettingit,unlessItrygambling。"
"Oh,mercy,no!Sellyourhorse,"criedPolly,afteraminuteofdeepmeditation。
"Ihave;buthedidn'tbringhalfIgaveforhim。Ilamedhimlastwinter,andthebeggarwon'tgetoverit。"
"Andthatdidn'tpayupthedebts?"
"Onlyaboutahalfof'em。"
"Why,Tom,howmuchdoyouowe?"
"Ihavedodgedfiguringituptillyesterday;thenthingsweresodesperate,IthoughtImightaswellfacethetruth,soIoverhauledmyaccounts,andthere'stheresult。"
Tomthrewablotted,crumpledpaperintoPolly'slap,andtrampedupanddownagain,fasterthanever。Pollytookonelookatthetotalandclaspedherhands,fortoherinexperiencedeyesitlookedappalling。
"Tidylittlesum,isn'tit?"askedTom,whocouldn'tbearthesilence,orthestartled,grievedlookinPolly'seyes。
"It'sawful!Idon'twonderyoudreadtellingyourfather。"
"I'dratherbeshot。Isay,Polly,supposewebreakittohimeasy!"
addedTom,afteranotherturn。
"Howdoyoumean?"
"Why,supposeFan,or,betterstill,yougoandsortofpavetheway。
Ican'tbeartocomedownonhimwiththewholetruthatonce。"
"Soyou'dliketohavemegoandtellhimforyou?"Polly'slipcurledalittleasshesaidthat,andshegaveTomalookthatwouldhaveshownhimhowblueeyescanflash,ifhehadseenit。Buthewasatthewindow,anddidn'tturn,ashesaidslowly,­;
"Well,yousee,he'ssofondofyou;weallconfideinyou;andyouaresolikeoneofthefamily,thatitseemsquitenatural。JusttellhimI'mexpelled,youknow,andasmuchmoreasyoulike;thenI'llcomein,andwe'llhaveitout。"
Pollyroseandwenttothedoorwithoutaword。Indoingso,Tomcaughtaglimpseofherface,andsaid,hastily,­;
"Don'tyouthinkitwouldbeagoodplan?"
"No,Idon't。"
"Whynot?Don'tyouthinkhe'dratherhaveittoldhimnicelybyyou,thanblurtedoutasIalwaysdoblurtthings?"
"Iknowhe'dratherhavehissongotohimandtellthetruth,likeaman,insteadofsendingagirltodowhatheisafraidtodohimself。"
IfPollyhadsuddenlyboxedhisears,Tomcouldn'thavelookedmoretakenabackthanbythatburst。Helookedatherexcitedface,seemedtounderstandthemeaningofit,andrememberedallatoncethathewastryingtohidebehindagirl。Heturnedscarlet,saidshortly,"Comeback,Polly,"andwalkedstraightoutoftheroom,lookingasifgoingtoinstantexecution,forpoorTomhadbeentaughttofearhisfather,andhadnotentirelyoutgrownthedread。
Pollysatdown,lookingbothsatisfiedandtroubled。"IhopeIdidright,"
shesaidtoherself,"Icouldn'tbeartohavehimshirkandseemcowardly。
Heisn't,onlyhedidn'tthinkhowitseemedtome,andIdon'twonderhewasalittleafraid,Mr。Shawissoseverewiththepoorfellow。Oh,dear,whatshouldwedoifWillgotintosuchscrapes。Thankgoodness,he'spoor,andcan't;I'msogladofthat!"
Thenshesatsilentbesidethehalf-opendoor,hearingthemurmurofTom'svoiceacrossthehall,andhoping,withallherheart,thathewouldn'thaveaveryhardtime。Heseemedtotellhisstoryrapidlyandsteadily,withoutinterruption,totheend;thenPollyheardMr。Shaw'sdeepervoicesayafewwords,atwhichTomutteredaloudexclamation,asiftakenbysurprise。Pollycouldn'tdistinguishaword,soshekeptherseat,wonderinganxiouslywhatwasgoingonbetweenthetwomen。AsuddenpauseseemedtofollowTom'sejaculation,thenMr。Shawtalkedalongtimeinalow,earnesttone,sodifferentfromtheangryonePollyhadexpectedtohear,thatitmadehernervous,forMr。Shawusually"blewTomupfirst,andforgavehimafterward,"asMaudsaid。PresentlyTom'svoicewasheard,apparentlyaskingeagerquestions,towhichbriefrepliesweregiven。Thenadeadsilencefellupontheroom,andnothingwasheardbutthespringrainsoftlyfallingoutofdoors。Allofasuddensheheardamovement,andTom'svoicesayaudibly,­;
"LetmebringPolly;"andheappeared,lookingsopaleandmiserablethatPollywasfrightened。
"Goandsaysomethingtohim;Ican't;pooroldfather,ifI'donlyknown,"andtoPolly'sutterdismay,Tomthrewhimselfintoachair,andlaidhisheaddownonthetable,asifhehadgotablowthatwastoomuchforhim。
"Oh,Tom,whatisit?"criedPolly,hurryingtohim,fulloffearsshedarednotspeak。
Withoutlookingup,Tomanswered,inasmotheredvoice,"Failed;allgonetosmash;andto-morroweveryonewillknowit。"
PollyheldontothebackofTom'schair,foraminute,forthenewstookherbreathaway,andshefeltasiftheworldwascomingtoanend,"failed"wassuchavaguelydreadfulwordtoher。
"Isitverybad?"sheasked,softly,feelingasifanythingwasbetterthantostandstillandseeTomsowretched。
"Yes;hemeanstogiveupeverything。He'sdonehisbest;butitcan'tbestavedoffanylonger,andit'sallupwithhim。"
"Oh,IwishIhadamilliontogivehim!"criedPolly,claspingherhands,withthetearsrunningdownhercheeks。"Howdoeshebearit,Tom?"
"Likeaman,Polly;andI'mproudofhim,"saidTom,lookingup,allredandexcitedwiththeemotionshewastryingtokeepunder。"Everythinghasbeenagainsthim,andhehasfoughtallalonetostandthepressure,butit'stoomuchforhim,andhe'sgivenin。It'sanhonorablefailure,mindyou,andnoonecansayawordagainsthim。I'dliketosee'emtryit!"andTomclenchedhishands,asifitwouldbeanimmenserelieftohimtothrashhalfadozenaspersersofhisfather'shonestname。
"Ofcoursetheycan't!ThisiswhatpoorMaudtroubledabout。HehadtoldyourmotherandFanbeforeyoucame,andthatiswhytheyaresounhappy,Isuppose。"
"Theyaresafeenough。Fatherhasn'ttouchedmother'smoney;he'couldn'trobhisgirls,'hesaid,andthat'sallsafefor'em。Isn'theatrump,Polly?"AndTom'sfaceshonewithpride,evenwhilehislipswouldtwitchwithatendererfeeling。
"IfIcouldonlydoanythingtohelp,"criedPolly,oppressedwithherownpowerlessness。
"Youcan。Goandbegoodtohim;youknowhow;heneedsitenough,allalonethere。Ican'tdoit,forI'monlyacurseinsteadofacomforttohim。"
"Howdidhetakeyournews?"askedPolly,who,foratime,hadforgottenthelessertroubleinthegreater。
"Likealamb;forwhenI'ddone,heonlysaid,'Mypoorlad,wemustbearwithoneanother。'andthentoldhisstory。"
"I'mgladhewaskind,"beganPolly,inasoothingtone;butTomcriedout,remorsefully,­;
"That'swhatknocksmeover!JustwhenIoughttobeaprideandaproptohim,Ibringhimmydebtsanddisgrace,andheneversaysawordofblame。It'snouse,Ican'tstandit!"andTom'sheadwentdownagainwithsomethingverylikeasob,thatwouldcomeinspiteofmanfuleffortstokeepitback,forthepoorfellowhadthewarmestheartthateverwas,andallthefinewaistcoatsoutsidecouldn'tspoilit。
ThatsoundgavePollymorepainthanthenewsofadozenfailuresandexpulsions,anditwasasimpossibleforhertoresistputtingherhandtenderlyonthebenthead,asitwasforhertohelpnoticingwithpleasurehowbrownthelittlecurlsweregrowing,andhowsofttheywere。Inspiteofhersorrow,sheenjoyedthatminuteverymuch,forshewasabornconsoler,and,itishardlynecessaryformetoadd,lovedthisreprehensibleTomwithallherheart。Itwasaveryfoolishthingforhertodo,shequiteagreedtothat;shecouldn'tunderstandit,explainit,orhelpit;sheonlyfeltthatshedidcareforhimverymuch,inspiteofhisfaults,hisindifference,andhisengagement。Yousee,shelearnedtolovehimonesummer,whenhemadethemavisit。ThatwasbeforeTrixcaughthim;
andwhensheheardthatpieceofnews,Pollycouldn'tunlovehimallatonce,thoughshetriedveryhard,aswasherduty。Thatengagementwassuchafarce,thatsheneverhadmuchfaithinit,sosheputherloveawayinacornerofherheart,andtriedtoforgetit,hopingitwouldeitherdie,orhavearighttolive。Itdidn'tmakeherverymiserable,becausepatience,work,andcommon-senselentherahand,andhopewouldkeeppoppingupitsbrightfacefromthebottomofherPandora-boxoftroubles。
Nowandthen,whenanyonesaidTrixwouldn'tjiltTom,orthatTomdidcareforTrixmorethanheshould,Pollyhadapang,andthoughtshecouldn'tpossiblybearit。Butshealwaysfoundshecould,andsocametotheconclusionthatitwasamercifulprovisionofnaturethatgirls'heartscouldstandsomuch,andtheirappetitescontinuegood,whenunrequitedlovewasstarving。
Now,shecouldnothelpyearningoverthisfaulty,well-belovedscapegraceTom,orhelpthinking,withalittlethrillofhope,"IfTrixonlycaredforhismoney,shemaycasthimoffnowhe'slostit;butI'lllovehimallthebetterbecausehe'spoor。"Withthisfeelingwarmatherheart,Idon'twonderthatPolly'shandhadasoothingeffect,andthatafteraheaveortwo,Tom'sshoulderswerequiet,andcertainsmotheredsniffssuggestedthathewouldbeallrightagain,ifhecouldonlywipehiseyeswithoutanyone'sseeinghimdoit。
Pollyseemedtodivinehiswish,andtuckingalittle,cleanhandkerchiefintooneofhishalf-openhands,shesaid,"I'mgoingtoyourfather,now,"andwithafarewellsmooth,socomfortingthatTomwishedshe'ddoitagain,shewentaway。
Asshepausedaminuteinthehalltosteadyherself,Maudcalledherfromabove,andthinkingthatthewomenmightneedhermorethanthemen,sheranuptofindFannywaitingforherinherownroom。
"Mamma'sasleep,quitewornout,poordear,sowecantalkinherewithouttroublingher,"saidFanny,receivingherfriendsoquietly,thatPollywasamazed。
"Letmecome,too,Iwon'tmakeanyfuss;it'ssodreadfultobeshutouteverywhere,andhavepeoplecryingandtalking,andlockedup,andInotknowwhatitmeans,"saidMaud,beseechingly。
"Youdoknow,now;I'vetoldher,Polly,"saidFan,astheysatdowntogether,andMaudperchedherselfonthebed,sothatshemightretireamongthepillowsifherfeelingsweretoomuchforher。
"I'mgladyoutakeitsowell,dear;Iwasafraiditmightupsetyou,"
saidPolly,seeingnowthatinspiteofherquietmanner,Fan'seyeshadanexcitedlook,andhercheeksafeverishcolor。
"Ishallgroanandmoanbyandby,Idaresay,butatfirstitsortofdazedme,andnowitbeginstoexciteme。Ioughttobefullofsorrowforpoorpapa,andIamtrulysorry,but,wickedasitmayseem,it'safact,Polly,thatI'mhalfgladit'shappened,forittakesmeoutofmyself,andgivesmesomethingtodo。"
Fanny'seyesfellandhercolorroseasshespoke,butPollyunderstoodwhyshewantedtoforgetherself,andputherarmroundherwithamoretendersympathythanFannyguessed。
"Perhapsthingsarenotasbadastheyseem;Idon'tknowmuchaboutsuchmatters,butI'veseenpeoplewhohavefailed,andtheyseemedjustascomfortableasbefore,"saidPolly。
"Itwon'tbesowithus,forpapameanstogiveupeverything,andnothaveawordsaidagainsthim。Mamma'slittlepropertyissettleduponher,andhasn'tbeenrisked。Thattouchedhersomuch!ShedreadspovertyevenmorethanIdo,butshebeggedhimtotakeitifitwouldhelphim。Thatpleasedhim,buthesaidnothingwouldinducehimtodoit,foritwouldn'thelpmuch,andwashardlyenoughtokeephercomfortable。"
"Doyouknowwhathemeanstodo?"askedPolly,anxiously。
"Hesaidhisplanswerenotmade,buthemeanttogointothelittlehousethatbelongedtograndma,assoonashecould,foritwasn'thonestforabankrupttokeepupanestablishmentlikethis。"
"Ishan'tmindthatatall,Ilikethelittlehouse'causeit'sgotagarden,andthere'sacunningroomwithathree-corneredclosetinitthatIalwayswanted。Ifthat'sall,Idon'tthinkbankruptingissoverybad,"saidMaud,takingacheerfulviewofthings。
"Ah,justwaittillthecarriagegoesandtheniceclothesandtheservants,andwehavetoscratchalongaswecan。You'llchangeyourmindthen,poorchild,"saidFanny,whoseideasoffailureweredecidedlytragical。
"Willtheytakeallmythingsaway?"criedMaud,indismay。
"Idaresay;Idon'tknowwhatweareallowedtokeep;butnotmuch,Ifancy,"andFanlookedasifstrunguptosacrificeeverythingshepossessed。
"Theyshan'thavemynewear-rings,­;I'llhide'em,­;andmybestdress,andmygoldsmellingbottle。Oh,oh,oh!Ithinkit'smeantotakealittlegirl'sthingsaway!"AndMauddivedamongthepillowstosmotherawailofanguishattheprospectofbeingbereftofhertreasures。
Pollysoonluredheroutagain,byassurancesthatshewouldn'tbeutterlydespoiled,andpromisestotryandsoftenthehardheartsofherfather'screditors,iftheear-ringsandthesmelling-bottlewereattached。
"Iwonderifweshallbeabletokeeponeservant,justtillwelearnhowtodothework,"saidFanny,lookingatherwhitehands,withasigh。
ButMaudclappedhers,andgaveajoyfulbounce,asshecried,­;
"NowIcanlearntocook!Ilovesotobeateggs!I'llhaveanapron,withabibtoit,likePolly's,andafeatherduster,andsweepthestairs,maybe,withmyheadtiedup,likeKaty。Oh,whatfun!"
"Don'tlaughather,ordiscourageher;letherfindcomfortinbibsanddust-pans,ifshecan,"whisperedPollytoFan,whileMaudtookajoyful"header"amongthepillows,andcameupsmilingandblowzy,forshelovedhouse-work,andoftengotlecturedforstolenvisitstothekitchen,andsurreptitioussweepingsanddustingswhenthecoastwasclear。
"Mammaissofeeble,Ishallhavetokeephouse,Isuppose,andyoumustshowmehow,Polly,"saidFan。
"Goodpractice,ma'am,asyou'llfindoutsomeday,"answeredPolly,laughingsignificantly。
Fannysmiled,thengrewbothgraveandsad。"Thischangeseverything;
theoldsetwilldropme,aswedidtheMertonswhentheirfatherfailed,andmy'prospects,'aswesay,arequiteruined。"
"Idon'tbelieveit;yourrealfriendswon'tdropyou,andyou'llfindoutwhichthetrueonesarenow。Iknowonefriendwhowillbekinderthanever。"
"Oh,Polly,doyouthinkso?"andFanny'seyessoftenedwithsuddentears。
"Iknowwhoshemeans,"criedMaud,alwayseagertofindoutthings。
"It'sherself;Pollywon'tmindifwearepoor,'causeshelikesbeggars。"
"Isthatwhoyoumeant?"askedFan,wistfully。
"No,it'samuchbetteranddearerfriendthanIam,"saidPolly,pinchingFanny'scheek,asitreddenedprettilyunderhereyes。"You'llneverguess,Maud,soIwouldn'ttry,butbeplanningwhatyouwillputinyourcunning,three-corneredcloset,whenyougetit。"
Havinggotridof"MissPaulinaPry,"asTomcalledMaud,whowasimmediatelyabsorbedbyhercupboard,theoldergirlssoberlydiscussedthesuddenchangewhichhadcome,andPollywassurprisedtoseewhatunexpectedstrengthandsenseFannyshowed。Pollywastoounconsciousofthechangewhichlovehadmadeinherselftounderstandatfirstthecauseofherfriend'snewpatienceandfortitude;butsherejoicedoverit,andfeltthatherprophecywouldyetbefulfilled。PresentlyMaudemergedfromhernewcloset,bringingasomewhatstartlingideawithher。
"Dobankruptingmen"Maudlikedthatnewword"alwayshavefits?"
"Mercy,no!Whatputthatintoyourhead,child?"criedPolly。
"Why,Mr。Mertondid;andIwasthinkingperhapspapahadgotonedownthere,anditkindoffrightenedme。"
"Mr。Merton'swasabad,disgracefulfailure,andIdon'twonderhehadafit。Oursisn't,andpapawon'tdoanythingofthatsort,youmaybesure,"saidFanny,withasproudanairasif"ourfailure"wasratheranhonorthanotherwise。
"Don'tyouthinkyouandMaudhadbettergodownandseehim?"askedPolly。
"Perhapshewouldn'tlikeit;andIdon'tknowwhattosay,either,"
beganFan;butPollysaid,eagerly,­;
"Iknowhewouldlikeit。Nevermindwhatyousay;justgo,andshowhimthatyoudon'tdoubtorblamehimforthis,butlovehimallthemore,andarereadyandgladtohelphimbearthetrouble。"
"I'mgoing,Iain'tafraid;I'lljusthughim,andsayI'meversogladwearegoingtothelittlehouse,"criedMaud,scramblingoffthebed,andrunningdownstairs。
"Comewithme,Polly,andtellmewhattodo,"saidFanny,drawingherfriendafterher。
"You'llknowwhattodowhenyouseehim,betterthanIcantellyou,"
answeredPolly,readilyyielding,forsheknewtheyconsideredher"quiteoneofthefamily,"asTomsaid。
AtthestudydoortheyfoundMaud,whosecouragehadgivenout,forMr。Merton'sfitratherhauntedher。Pollyopenedthedoor;andtheminuteFannysawherfather,shedidknowwhattodo。Thefirewaslow,thegasdim,andMr。Shawwassittinginhiseasy-chair,hisgrayheadinbothhishands,lookinglonely,old,andboweddownwithcare。FannygavePollyonelook,thenwentandtookthegrayheadinbothherarms,saying,withatenderquiverinhervoice,­;
"Fatherdear,we'vecometohelpyoubearit"
Mr。Shawlookedup,andseeinginhisdaughter'sfacesomethingthatneverhadbeentherebefore,puthisarmabouther,andleanedhistiredheadagainsther,asif,whenleastexpected,hehadfoundtheconsolationhemostneeded。Inthatminute,Fannyfelt,withmingledjoyandself-reproach,whatadaughtermightbetoherfather;andPolly,thinkingoffeeble,selfishMrs。Shaw,asleepupstairs,sawwithsuddenclearnesswhatawifeshouldbetoherhusband,­;ahelpmeet,notaburden。Touchedbytheseunusualdemonstrations,Maudcreptquietlytoherfather'sknee,andwhispered,withagreattearshiningonherlittlepugnose,­;
"Papa,wedon'tminditmuch,andI'mgoingtohelpFankeephouseforyou;I'dliketodoit,truly。"
Mr。Shaw'sotherarmwentroundthechild,andforaminutenoonesaidanything,forPollyhadslippedbehindhischair,thatnothingshoulddisturbthethree,whowerelearningfrommisfortunehowmuchtheylovedoneanother。
PresentlyMr。Shawsteadiedhimselfandasked,­;
"Whereismyotherdaughter,where'smyPolly?"
Shewasthereatonce;gavehimoneofthequietkissesthathadmorethanusualtendernessinit,forshelovedtohearhimsay"myotherdaughter,"
andthenshewhispered,­;
"Don'tyouwantTom,too?"
"OfcourseIdo;whereisthepoorfellow?"
"I'llbringhim;"andPollydepartedwithmostobligingalacrity。
Butinthehallshepausedaminutetopeepintotheglassandseeifshewasallright,forsomehowshewasmoreanxioustolookneatandprettytoTominhishouroftroublethanshehadeverbeeninhisprosperousdays。Inliftingherarmstoperkupthebowatherthroatsheknockedahatoffthebracket。Now,ashinyblackbeaverisnotanobjectexactlycalculatedtoinspiretenderorromanticsentiments,onewouldfancy,butthatparticular"stovepipe"seemedtotouchPollytotheheart,forshecaughtitup,asifitsfallsuggestedagreaterone,smoothedoutaslightdint,asifitwassymbolicalofthehardknocksitsowner'sheadwasnowindangerofreceiving,andstoodlookingatitwithasmuchpityandrespect,asifithadbeenthecrownofadisinheritedprince。Girlswilldosuchfoolishlittlethings,andthoughwelaughatthem,Ithinkwelikethemthebetterforit,afterall。
RichardwashimselfagainwhenPollyentered,forthehandkerchiefhaddisappeared,hisheadwaserect,hisfacewassteady,andhiswholeairhadadoggedcomposurewhichseemedtosaytofate,"Hitaway,I'mready。"
HedidnothearPollycomein,forhewaslookingfixedlyatthefirewitheyesthatevidentlysawaverydifferentfuturetherefromthatwhichitusedtoshowhim;butwhenshesaid,"Tom,dear,yourfatherwantsyou,"
hegotupatonce,heldouthishandtoher,saying,"Cometoo,wecan'tgetonwithoutyou,"andtookherbackintothestudywithhim。
Thentheyhadalongtalk,forthefamilytroublesseemedtowarmandstrengthenthefamilyaffectionandconfidence,andastheyoungpeoplelistenedwhileMr。Shawtoldthemasmuchofhisbusinessperplexitiesastheycouldunderstand,everyoneofthemblamedhimorherselfforgoingonsogaylyandblindly,whilethestormwasgathering,andthepoormanwaslefttomeetitallalone。Now,however,thethunder-claphadcome,andafterthefirstalarm,findingtheywerenotkilled,theybegantodiscoveracertainhalf-anxious,half-pleasantexcitementintalkingitover,encouragingoneanother,andfeelingunusuallyfriendly,aspeopledowhenasuddenshowerdrivestwoorthreetotheshelterofoneumbrella。
Itwasasobertalk,butnotallsad,forMr。Shawfeltinexpressiblycomfortedbyhischildren'sunexpectedsympathy,andthey,tryingtotakethedownfallcheerfullyforhissake,founditeasiertobearthemselves。
Theyevenlaughedoccasionally,forthegirls,intheirignorance,askedqueerquestions;Tommadeludicrouslyunbusiness-likepropositions;andMaudgavethemoneheartypeal,thatdidaworldofgood,bypensivelyremarking,whentheplansforthefuturehadbeenexplainedtoher,­;
"I'msorelieved;forwhenpapasaidwemustgiveupeverything,andmammacalledusallbeggars,IdidthinkI'dgottogoroundaskingforcoldvittles,withabigbasket,andanoldshawlovermyhead。IsaidonceI'dlikethat,butI'mafraidIshouldn't,forIcan'tbearIndiancakeandcoldpotatoes,­;that'swhatthepoorchildrenalwaysseemtoget,­;andIshouldhatetohaveGraceandtherestseemescuffingroundthebackgates。"
"Mylittlegirlshallnevercometothat,ifIcanhelpit,"saidMr。
Shaw,holdingherclose,withalookthatmadeMaudadd,asshelaidhercheekagainsthisown,­;
"ButI'ddoit,father,ifyouaskedmeto,forItrulywanttohelp。"
"SodoI!"criedFanny,wonderingatthesameminutehowitwouldseemtowearturnedsilks,andcleanhergloves。
Tomsaidnothing,butdrewtowardhimapaperoffigureswhichhisfatherhaddrawnup,andspeedilyreducedhimselftothevergeofdistractionbytryingtounderstandthem,inhisardentdesiretoprovehiswillingnesstoputhisshouldertothewheel。
"Weshallpullthrough,children,sodon'tborrowtrouble,onlybereadyfordiscomfortsandannoyances。Putyourprideinyourpockets,andrememberpovertyisn'tdisgraceful,butdishonestyis。"
PollyhadalwayslovedkindMr。Shaw,butnowsherespectedhimheartily,andfeltthatshehadnotdonehimjusticewhenshesometimesthoughtthatheonlycaredformakingmoney。
"Ishouldn'twonderifthiswasagoodthingforthewholefamily,thoughitdon'tlookso。Mrs。Shawwilltakeitthehardest,butitmaystirherup,soshewillforgethernerves,andbeasbusyandhappyasmotheris,"saidPollytoherself,inahopefulmood,forpovertywasanoldfriend,andshehadlearnedlongagonottofearit,buttotakeitsbitteranditssweet,andmakethebestofboth。
Whentheypartedforthenight,Pollyslippedawayfirst,toleavethemfree,yetcouldn'thelplingeringoutsidetoseehowtenderlythegirlspartedfromtheirfather。Tomhadn'tawordtosayforhimself,formendon'tkiss,caress,orcrywhentheyfeelmost,andallhecoulddotoexpresshissympathyandpenitence,wastowringhisfather'shandwithafacefullofrespect,regret,andaffection,andthenboltupstairsasifthefurieswereafterhim,astheywere,inamildandmodernform。ChapterXVI。ChapterXVI。CHAPTERXVIADRESSPARADETHEweeksthatfollowedtaughttheShaws,asmanyotherfamilieshavebeentaught,howrapidlyrichestaketothemselveswingsandflyaway,whentheyoncebegintogo。Mr。Shawcarriedouthisplanswithanenergyandpatiencethatworkedwonders,andtouchedtheheartsofhishardestcreditors。
Thebighousewasgivenupassoonaspossibleandthelittlehousetaken;
beingmadecomfortablewiththefurnitureMadamlefttherewhenshewenttolivewithherson。Theold-fashionedthingshadbeenletwiththehouse,andnowseemedalmostlikeagiftfromGrandma,doublypreciousinthesetroubloustimes。Attheauction,severalpersonstriedtoshowthefamilythat,thoughtheyhadlosttheirfortune,friendsstillremained,foronebidinFanny'spiano,andsentittoher;anothersecuredcertainluxuriousarticlesforMrs。Shaw'scomfort;andathirdsavedsuchofMr。Shaw'sbooksashevaluedmost,forhehadkepthiswordandgivenupeverything,withthemostpunctiliousintegrity。Sothelittlehousewasnotbare,butmadepleasanttotheireyesbythesewaifsfromthewreck,broughtthembythetideofsympathyandgood-willwhichsoonsetin。
Everybodywhoknewthemhastenedtocall,manyfromarealregard,butmorefrommerecuriosityto"seehowtheytookit。"Thiswasoneofthehardestthingstheyhadtobear,andTomusedstronglanguagemorethanonce,whensomefineladycametocondole,andwentawaytogossip。Polly'shopesofMrs。Shawweredisappointed,formisfortunedidnothaveabracingeffect。Shetooktoherbedatonce,receivedherfriendsintearsandapoint-lacecap,andcheeredherfamilybyplaintivelyinquiringwhenshewastobetakentothealmshouse。ThiswashardforFanny;butafteranintervalofdespair,shecametotheconclusionthatunderthecircumstancesitwasthebestthinghermothercouldhavedone,andwithsomethingofherfather'senergy,Fannyshoulderedthenewburden,feelingthatatlastnecessityhadgivenherwhatshehadlongneeded,somethingtodo。
ThepoorgirlknewasmuchofhouseholdaffairsasSnip;butprideandtheresolution"tostandbyFather,"keptuphercourage,andsheworkedawaywithfeverishactivityatwhatevertaskcamefirsttill,justasstrengthandheartwereabouttofail,orderbegantoemergefromchaosandthevisionofahomemadehappyandcomfortablebyherskillandcarecametorepayandsustainher。
Maud,beingrelievedfromthefearofback-doorbeggary,soonbecamereconciledtobankruptcy;thoughtitratheragoodjoke,onthewhole,forchildrenlikenovelty,anddon'tcaremuchforMrs。Grundy。Sheregardedthenewabodeasababyhouseonalargescale,whereshewasallowedtoplayherpartinthemostsatisfactorymanner。Fromthemomentwhen,ontakingpossessionofthecovetedroom,sheopenedthedoorsofthethree-corneredcloset,andfoundalittlekettlejustlikePolly's,standingthere,shefeltthatagoodtimewascomingforherandfelltodustingfurniture,washingcups,andmakingtoast,thehappiest,fussiestlittlehousewifeinthecity。ForMaudinheritedthenotablegiftsofhergrandmother,andwouldhavemadeacapitalfarmer'sdaughter,inspiteofhercitybreeding。
Pollycameandwentthroughallthesechanges,faithful,helpful,andascheeryasshecouldbewhenherfriendswereintrouble。Thepartsseemedreversednow,anditwasPollywhogave,Fannywhoreceived;forwhereeverythingseemedstrangeandnewtoFan,Pollywasquiteathome,andeveryoneoftheunfashionabledomesticaccomplishmentsnowcameintoplay,tothecomfortoftheShaws,andthegreatsatisfactionofPolly。Shecouldnotdoenoughtoprovehergratitudeforformerfavors,andwenttoilingandmoilingabout,feelingthatthehardest,mostdisagreeabletaskswereherespecialduty。Inthemovingnothingsuitedherbetterthantotrotupanddown,luggingheavythings,topoundherfingersblackandbluenailingcarpetsandcurtains,andthedayshenearlybrokehernecktumblingdownthecellarstairs,inhereagernesstoseethatMrs。Shaw'swinewasrightlystored,shefeltthatshewasonlypayingherdebts,andtoldTomshelikedit,whenhepickedheruplookingasgrimyasachimney-sweep。
"Youcanturnyourhandtoanything,youclevergirl,sodocomeandgivemesomeadvice,forIaminthedepthsofdespair,"saidFannywhenthe"maid-of-all-work"asPollycalledherself,foundaleisurehour。
"Whatisit?Mothsinthefurs,asmokychimney,orsmall-poxnextdoor?"
askedPolly,astheyenteredFan'sroom,whereMaudwastryingonoldbonnetsbeforethelooking-glass。
"ActuallyIhavenothingtowear,"beganFanimpressively;"I'vebeentoobusytothinkorcaretillnow,buthereitisnearlyMayandIhavehardlyadecentragtomyback。Usually,youknow,IjustgotoMrs。O'GradyandtellherwhatIwant;shemakesmyspringwardrobe,Papapaysthebill,andthereIam。NowI'velookedintothematter,andIdeclaretoyou,Polly,I'mfrightenedtoseehowmuchitcoststodressme。"
"NotsomuchassomegirlsIknow,"saidPollyencouragingly。
"Perhapsnot,forIhaveaconscience,andtasteiseconomysometimes;
butreally,Polly,Ihaven'tthehearttoaskPapaforacentjustnow,andyetImusthaveclothes。Youaresuchageniusforplanningandworkingwonders,thatIthrowmyselfuponyouandask,'HowshallImakeaspringwardrobeoutofnothing?'"
"Letmeseethe'nothing'beforeIadvise。Bringouteveryragyou'vegot,andwe'llseewhatcanbedone,"saidPolly,lookingasifsheenjoyedtheprospect,forshehadagreatdealofthatfemininefacultywhichwecall"knack,"andmuchpracticehadincreasedit。
Fannybroughtouther"rags"andwasastonishedtoseehowmanyshehad,forchair,sofa,bed,andbureauwerecovered,andstillMaud,whowasburrowingintheclosets,keptcrying,"Here'sanother。"
"There'sadiscouragingheapofrubbishforyou!"saidFan,assheaddedafadedmuslintothelastpile。
"Now,tomeyour'rubbish'looksveryencouraging,becausethereisgoodmaterialthere,andnotmuchworn-outfinery,­;that'smydetestation,foryoucan'tdoanythingwithit。Letmesee,fivebonnets。Putthewinteronesawaytillautumn,ripupthesummerones,andoutofthreeoldoneswe'llgetaprettynewone,ifmyeyesdon'tdeceiveme。"
"I'llrip,andthendoletmeseeyoumakeabonnet,itmustbesointeresting,"saidMaud,whippingoutherscissorsandeagerlybeginningtoreduceashabbylittlebonnettoitsoriginalelements。
"Nowthedresses,"continuedPolly,whohadrapidlysortedoutthepiles。
"Willyouhavethegoodnesstolookatthis?"saidFan,holdingupagraystreetsuitfadedpastcure。
Pollywhiskeditwrongsideout,andshowingtheclean,brightfabric,said,withatriumphantwave,­;
"Beholdyournewsuit;freshtrimmingandlessofitwillfinishyouoffassmartasever。"
"Ineverworeaturneddressinmylife;doyousupposepeoplewillknowit?"saidFandoubtfully。
"Whatiftheydo?Itwon'thurtyou。Notoneinahundredwilleverthinkanythingaboutyourdress,exceptthatitispretty。I'vewornturnedanddyedgownsallmydays,anditdon'tseemtohavealienatedmyfriends,orinjuredmyconstitution。"
"Thatithasn't;I'magoose,Polly,andI'llgetoverthefeelingthatit'ssortofdisgracefultobepoorandhavetoeconomize。We'llturnthegray,andI'llwearitbravely。"
"Thenitwillbemorebecomingthanever。Oh,here'stheprettyvioletsilk。Thatwillmakealovelysuit,"criedPolly,goingonwiththereview。
"Don'tseehowtwodraggledskirtsandastainedwaistcanbetransformedintoawholerig,"saidFan,sittingonthebed,withhergarmentsstrewnaboutherinvariousattitudesoflimpdespondency。
"Well,ma'am,myplanisthis,"beganPolly,imitatingMrs。O'Grady'simportanttone,andbadgrammar:"Goresisout,andplaitsisin;therefore,asthetopofthisskirtisquitefresh,wewilltakeofftheruffles,turnitupsidedown,andleaveitplain。Theupperskirtwillbemadescanter,andfinishedwithafrill;thenthewaistcanberefreshedwiththebestpartsofthesewideflounces,andoutofthosenewbitswewillconcoctahat。TheblacklaceMaudhasjusttakenoffthegreenonewilldotoedgetheviolet,andwithyournicesilkmantillayouarecomplete,don'tyousee?"
"Idon'tquiteseeityet,butIhavefirmfaiththatIshallintime,andconsidermycallingcostumefinished,"saidFanny,gettingmoreandmoreinterestedasshesawhercondemnedwardrobecomingoutfreshagainunderPolly'smagicknack。
"Therearetwo;thenthatpiqué;isallright,ifyoucutthetailoffthejacketandchangethetrimmingabit。Themuslinsonlyneedmendinganddoinguptolookaswellasever;yououghtnottoputthemawaytornandsoiled,mychild。Thetwoblacksilkswillbegoodstand-bysforyears。IfIwereyou,I'dhaveacoupleofneat,prettyprintsforhome-wear,andthenIdon'tseewhyyouaren'tfixedwellenoughforourshortseason。"
"Can'tIdoanythingwiththisbarege?It'soneofmyfavoritedresses,andIhatetogiveitup。"
"Youworethatthoroughlyout,andit'sonlyfitfortherag-bag。Yes,itwasveryprettyandbecoming,Iremember,butitsdayisover。"
Fannyletthedresslieinherlapaminuteassheabsentlypickedatthefringe,smilingtoherselfoverthehappytimewhensheworeitlastandSydneysaidsheonlyneededcowslipsinherlaptolooklikespring。
Presentlyshefoldeditupandputitawaywithasigh,butitneverwentintotherag-bag,andmysentimentalreaderscanunderstandwhatsavedit。
"Theballdresseshadbetterbeputnicelyawaytillnextyear,"beganPolly,comingtoarainbow­;coloredheap。
"Mydayisover,Ishallneverusethemagain。Dowhatyoulikewiththem,"saidFancalmly。
"Didyoueversellyourcast-offfinery,asmanyladiesdo?"askedPolly。
"Never;Idon'tlikethefashion。Igiveitaway,orletMaudhaveitfortableaux。"
"IwonderifyouwouldmindmytellingyousomethingBelleproposed?"
"Ifit'sanoffertobuymyclothes,Ishouldmind,"answeredFanny,sharply。
"ThenIwon't,"andPollyretiredbehindacloudofarsenic-greengauze,whichmadeherlookasifshehadthecholera。
"Ifshewantedtobuythathorridnew'gooseberry-coloredgown,'asTomcallsit,I'dletherhaveitcheap,"putinMaud,whowasofapracticalturn。
"Doesshewantit,Polly?"askedFan,whosecuriositygotthebetterofherpride。
"Well,shemerelyaskedmeifIthoughtyou'dbemortallyoffended,ifsheofferedtotakeitoffyourhands,asyou'dneverwornit。Youdon'tlikeit,andinanotherseasonitwillbealloutoffashion,"saidPollyfromherverdantretreat。
"Whatdidyousay?"
"Isawshemeantitkindly,soIsaidI'dask。Nowbetweenourselves,Fan,thepriceofthatdresswouldgiveyouallyou'llwantforyourspringfixings,that'soneconsideration;thenhere'sanother,whichmayhavesomeweightwithyou,"addedPollyslyly。"TrixtoldBelleshewasgoingtoaskyouforthedress,asyouwouldn'tcaretowearitnow。ThatmadeBellefireup,andsayitwasameanthingtodowithoutofferingsomereturnforacostlythinglikethat;andthenBellesaid,inherbluntway,'I'llgiveFanallshepaidforit,andmore,too,ifitwillbeanyhelptoher。Idon'tcareforthedress,butI'dliketoslipalittlemoneyintoherpocket,forIknowsheneedsitandistoogoodtoaskdearMr。Shawforanythingshecangetonwithout。'"
"Didshesaythat?I'llgiveherthedress,andnottakeapennyforit,"criedFan,flushingupwithmingledangertowardTrixandgratitudetoBelle。
"Thatwon'tsuither;youletmemanageit,anddon'tfeelanyshameoranxietyaboutit。YoudidmanyakindandgenerousthingforBellewhenyouhadthepower,andyoulikedtodoit;nowletherpayherdebts,andhavethesamepleasure。"
"Ifshelooksatitinthatway,itmakesadifference。PerhapsI'dbetter­;themoneywouldbeanimmensehelp­;onlyIdon'tquiteliketotakeit。"
"Kingsandqueensselltheirjewelswhentimesarehardortheygetturnedofftheirthrones,andnoonethinksitanythingamiss,sowhyneedyou?It'sjustalittletransactionbetweentwofriendswhoexchangethingstheydon'twantforthingswhichtheydo,andI'ddoitifIwereyou。"
"We'llseeaboutit,"saidFan,privatelyresolvingtotakePolly'sadvice。
"IfIhadlotsofthingslikeFan,I'dhaveanauctionandgetallIcouldforthem。Whydon'tyou?"askedMaud,beginningonherthirdbonnet。