tohavethesesocialsacramentsstrippedofeverythingbutthemeregreedysatisfactionofthenaturalcravings；goessoagainstthegrainwithme，thatIseriouslybelievetherecollectionofthesefuneralfeastswillbeawakingnightmaretomeallmylife。
　　Therewassomereliefinthisboat，too，whichtherehadnotbeenintheother，forthecaptainablunt，good-naturedfellowhadhishandsomewifewithhim，whowasdisposedtobelivelyandagreeable，aswereafewotherlady-passengerswhohadtheirseatsaboutusatthesameendofthetable。Butnothingcouldhavemadeheadagainstthedepressinginfluenceofthegeneralbody。Therewasamagnetismofdulnessinthemwhichwouldhavebeatendownthemostfacetiouscompanionthattheeartheverknew。Ajestwouldhavebeenacrime，andasmilewouldhavefadedintoagrinninghorror。Suchdeadly，leadenpeople；suchsystematicplodding，weary，insupportableheaviness；suchamassofanimatedindigestioninrespectofallthatwasgenial，jovial，frank，social，orhearty；never，sure，wasbroughttogetherelsewheresincetheworldbegan。
　　Norwasthescenery，asweapproachedthejunctionoftheOhioandMississippirivers，atallinspiritinginitsinfluence。Thetreeswerestuntedintheirgrowth；thebankswerelowandflat；thesettlementsandlogcabinsfewerinnumber:theirinhabitantsmorewanandwretchedthananywehadencounteredyet。Nosongsofbirdswereintheair，nopleasantscents，nomovinglightsandshadowsfromswiftpassingclouds。Hourafterhour，thechangelessglareofthehot，unwinkingsky，shoneuponthesamemonotonousobjects。Hourafterhour，theriverrolledalong，aswearilyandslowlyasthetimeitself。
　　Atlength，uponthemorningofthethirdday，wearrivedataspotsomuchmoredesolatethananywehadyetbeheld，thattheforlornestplaceswehadpassed，were，incomparisonwithit，fullofinterest。Atthejunctionofthetworivers，ongroundsoflatandlowandmarshy，thatatcertainseasonsoftheyearitisinundatedtothehouse-tops，liesabreeding-placeoffever，ague，anddeath；vauntedinEnglandasamineofGoldenHope，andspeculatedin，onthefaithofmonstrousrepresentations，tomanypeople'sruin。Adismalswamp，onwhichthehalf-builthousesrotaway:clearedhereandthereforthespaceofafewyards；andteeming，then，withrankunwholesomevegetation，inwhosebalefulshadethewretchedwandererswhoaretemptedhither，droop，anddie，andlaytheirbones；thehatefulMississippicirclingandeddyingbeforeit，andturningoffuponitssoutherncourseaslimymonsterhideoustobehold；ahotbedofdisease，anuglysepulchre，agraveuncheeredbyanygleamofpromise:aplacewithoutonesinglequality，inearthorairorwater，tocommendit:suchisthisdismalCairo。
　　ButwhatwordsshalldescribetheMississippi，greatfatherofrivers，whopraisebetoHeavenhasnoyoungchildrenlikehim!
　　Anenormousditch，sometimestwoorthreemileswide，runningliquidmud，sixmilesanhour:itsstrongandfrothycurrentchokedandobstructedeverywherebyhugelogsandwholeforesttrees:nowtwiningthemselvestogetheringreatrafts，fromtheintersticesofwhichasedgy，lazyfoamworksup，tofloatuponthewater'stop；nowrollingpastlikemonstrousbodies，theirtangledrootsshowinglikemattedhair；nowglancingsinglybylikegiantleeches；andnowwrithingroundandroundinthevortexofsomesmallwhirlpool，likewoundedsnakes。Thebankslow，thetreesdwarfish，themarshesswarmingwithfrogs，thewretchedcabinsfewandfarapart，theirinmateshollow-cheekedandpale，theweatherveryhot，mosquitoespenetratingintoeverycrackandcreviceoftheboat，mudandslimeoneverything:nothingpleasantinitsaspect，buttheharmlesslightningwhichflickerseverynightuponthedarkhorizon。
　　Fortwodayswetoiledupthisfoulstream，strikingconstantlyagainstthefloatingtimber，orstoppingtoavoidthosemoredangerousobstacles，thesnags，orsawyers，whicharethehiddentrunksoftreesthathavetheirrootsbelowthetide。Whenthenightsareverydark，thelook-outstationedintheheadoftheboat，knowsbytherippleofthewaterifanygreatimpedimentbenearathand，andringsabellbesidehim，whichisthesignalfortheenginetobestopped:butalwaysinthenightthisbellhasworktodo，andaftereveryring，therecomesablowwhichrendersitnoeasymattertoremaininbed。
　　Thedeclineofdayherewasverygorgeous；tingeingthefirmamentdeeplywithredandgold，uptotheverykeystoneofthearchaboveus。Asthesunwentdownbehindthebank，theslightestbladesofgrassuponitseemedtobecomeasdistinctlyvisibleasthearteriesintheskeletonofaleaf；andwhen，asitslowlysank，theredandgoldenbarsuponthewatergrewdimmer，anddimmeryet，asiftheyweresinkingtoo；andalltheglowingcoloursofdepartingdaypaled，inchbyinch，beforethesombrenight；thescenebecameathousandtimesmorelonesomeandmoredrearythanbefore，andallitsinfluencesdarkenedwiththesky。
　　Wedrankthemuddywaterofthisriverwhilewewereuponit。Itisconsideredwholesomebythenatives，andissomethingmoreopaquethangruel。IhaveseenwaterlikeitattheFilter-shops，butnowhereelse。
　　OnthefourthnightafterleavingLouisville，wereachedSt。Louis，andhereIwitnessedtheconclusionofanincident，triflingenoughinitself，butverypleasanttosee，whichhadinterestedmeduringthewholejourney。
　　Therewasalittlewomanonboard，withalittlebaby；andbothlittlewomanandlittlechildwerecheerful，good-looking，bright-
　　eyed，andfairtosee。ThelittlewomanhadbeenpassingalongtimewithhersickmotherinNewYork，andhadleftherhomeinSt。
　　Louis，inthatconditioninwhichladieswhotrulylovetheirlordsdesiretobe。Thebabywasborninhermother'shouse；andshehadnotseenherhusbandtowhomshewasnowreturning，fortwelvemonths:havinglefthimamonthortwoaftertheirmarriage。
　　Well，tobesure，thereneverwasalittlewomansofullofhope，andtenderness，andlove，andanxiety，asthislittlewomanwas:
　　andalldaylongshewonderedwhether'He'wouldbeatthewharf；
　　andwhether'He'hadgotherletter；andwhether，ifshesentthebabyashorebysomebodyelse，'He'wouldknowit，meetingitinthestreet:which，seeingthathehadneverseteyesuponitinhislife，wasnotverylikelyintheabstract，butwasprobableenough，totheyoungmother。Shewassuchanartlesslittlecreature；andwasinsuchasunny，beaming，hopefulstate；andletoutallthismatterclingingcloseaboutherheart，sofreely；thatalltheotherladypassengersenteredintothespiritofitasmuchasshe；
　　andthecaptainwhoheardallaboutitfromhiswifewaswondroussly，Ipromiseyou:inquiring，everytimewemetattable，asinforgetfulness，whethersheexpectedanybodytomeetheratSt。
　　Louis，andwhethershewouldwanttogoashorethenightwereacheditbuthesupposedshewouldn't，andcuttingmanyotherdryjokesofthatnature。Therewasonelittleweazen，dried-apple-facedoldwoman，whotookoccasiontodoubttheconstancyofhusbandsinsuchcircumstancesofbereavement；andtherewasanotherladywithalap-dogoldenoughtomoralizeonthelightnessofhumanaffections，andyetnotsooldthatshecouldhelpnursingthebaby，nowandthen，orlaughingwiththerest，whenthelittlewomancalleditbyitsfather'sname，andaskeditallmanneroffantasticquestionsconcerninghiminthejoyofherheart。
　　Itwassomethingofablowtothelittlewoman，thatwhenwewerewithintwentymilesofourdestination，itbecameclearlynecessarytoputthisbabytobed。Butshegotoveritwiththesamegoodhumour；tiedahandkerchiefroundherhead；andcameoutintothelittlegallerywiththerest。Then，suchanoracleasshebecameinreferencetothelocalities!andsuchfacetiousnessaswasdisplayedbythemarriedladies!andsuchsympathyaswasshownbythesingleones!andsuchpealsoflaughterasthelittlewomanherselfwhowouldjustassoonhavecriedgreetedeveryjestwith!
　　Atlast，therewerethelightsofSt。Louis，andherewasthewharf，andthosewerethesteps:andthelittlewomancoveringherfacewithherhands，andlaughingorseemingtolaughmorethanever，ranintoherowncabin，andshutherselfup。Ihavenodoubtthatinthecharminginconsistencyofsuchexcitement，shestoppedherears，lestsheshouldhear'Him'askingforher:butIdidnotseeherdoit。
　　Then，agreatcrowdofpeoplerushedonboard，thoughtheboatwasnotyetmadefast，butwaswanderingabout，amongtheotherboats，tofindalanding-place:andeverybodylookedforthehusband:
　　andnobodysawhim:when，inthemidstofusall-Heavenknowshowsheevergotthere-therewasthelittlewomanclingingwithbotharmstightroundtheneckofafine，good-looking，sturdyyoungfellow!andinamomentafterwards，thereshewasagain，actuallyclappingherlittlehandsforjoy，asshedraggedhimthroughthesmalldoorofhersmallcabin，tolookatthebabyashelayasleep!
　　Wewenttoalargehotel，calledthePlanter'sHouse:builtlikeanEnglishhospital，withlongpassagesandbarewalls，andsky-
　　lightsabovetheroom-doorsforthefreecirculationofair。Therewereagreatmanyboardersinit；andasmanylightssparkledandglistenedfromthewindowsdownintothestreetbelow，whenwedroveup，asifithadbeenilluminatedonsomeoccasionofrejoicing。Itisanexcellenthouse，andtheproprietorshavemostbountifulnotionsofprovidingthecreaturecomforts。Diningalonewithmywifeinourownroom，oneday，Icountedfourteendishesonthetableatonce。
　　IntheoldFrenchportionofthetown，thethoroughfaresarenarrowandcrooked，andsomeofthehousesareveryquaintandpicturesque:beingbuiltofwood，withtumble-downgalleriesbeforethewindows，approachablebystairsorratherladdersfromthestreet。Therearequeerlittlebarbers'shopsanddrinking-
　　housestoo，inthisquarter；andabundanceofcrazyoldtenementswithblinkingcasements，suchasmaybeseeninFlanders。Someoftheseancienthabitations，withhighgarretgable-windowsperkingintotheroofs，haveakindofFrenchshrugaboutthem；andbeinglop-sidedwithage，appeartoholdtheirheadsaskew，besides，asiftheyweregrimacinginastonishmentattheAmericanImprovements。
　　Itishardlynecessarytosay，thattheseconsistofwharfsandwarehouses，andnewbuildingsinalldirections；andofagreatmanyvastplanswhicharestill'progressing。'Already，however，someverygoodhouses，broadstreets，andmarble-frontedshops，havegonesofaraheadastobeinastateofcompletion；andthetownbidsfairinafewyearstoimproveconsiderably:thoughitisnotlikelyevertovie，inpointofeleganceorbeauty，withCincinnati。
　　TheRomanCatholicreligion，introducedherebytheearlyFrenchsettlers，prevailsextensively。AmongthepublicinstitutionsareaJesuitcollege；aconventfor'theLadiesoftheSacredHeart；'
　　andalargechapelattachedtothecollege，whichwasincourseoferectionatthetimeofmyvisit，andwasintendedtobeconsecratedonthesecondofDecemberinthenextyear。Thearchitectofthisbuilding，isoneofthereverendfathersoftheschool，andtheworksproceedunderhissoledirection。TheorganwillbesentfromBelgium。
　　Inadditiontotheseestablishments，thereisaRomanCatholiccathedral，dedicatedtoSaintFrancisXavier；andahospital，foundedbythemunificenceofadeceasedresident，whowasamemberofthatchurch。ItalsosendsmissionariesfromhenceamongtheIndiantribes。
　　TheUnitarianchurchisrepresented，inthisremoteplace，asinmostotherpartsofAmerica，byagentlemanofgreatworthandexcellence。Thepoorhavegoodreasontorememberandblessit；
　　foritbefriendsthem，andaidsthecauseofrationaleducation，withoutanysectarianorselfishviews。Itisliberalinallitsactions；ofkindconstruction；andofwidebenevolence。
　　Therearethreefree-schoolsalreadyerected，andinfulloperationinthiscity。Afourthisbuilding，andwillsoonbeopened。
　　Nomaneveradmitstheunhealthinessoftheplacehedwellsinunlessheisgoingawayfromit，andIshalltherefore，Ihavenodoubt，beatissuewiththeinhabitantsofSt。Louis，inquestioningtheperfectsalubrityofitsclimate，andinhintingthatIthinkitmustratherdisposetofever，inthesummerandautumnalseasons。Justadding，thatitisveryhot，liesamonggreatrivers，andhasvasttractsofundrainedswampylandaroundit，Ileavethereadertoformhisownopinion。
　　AsIhadagreatdesiretoseeaPrairiebeforeturningbackfromthefurthestpointofmywanderings；andassomegentlemenofthetownhad，intheirhospitableconsideration，anequaldesiretogratifyme；adaywasfixed，beforemydeparture，foranexpeditiontotheLooking-GlassPrairie，whichiswithinthirtymilesofthetown。Deemingitpossiblethatmyreadersmaynotobjecttoknowwhatkindofthingsuchagipsypartymaybeatthatdistancefromhome，andamongwhatsortofobjectsitmoves，Iwilldescribethejauntinanotherchapter。
　　CHAPTERXIII-AJAUNTTOTHELOOKING-GLASSPRAIRIEANDBACK
　　IMAYpremisethatthewordPrairieisvariouslypronouncedPARAAER，PAREARER，PAROARER。Thelattermodeofpronunciationisperhapsthemostinfavour。
　　Wewerefourteeninall，andallyoungmen:indeeditisasingularthoughverynaturalfeatureinthesocietyofthesedistantsettlements，thatitismainlycomposedofadventurouspersonsintheprimeoflife，andhasveryfewgreyheadsamongit。
　　Therewerenoladies:thetripbeingafatiguingone:andweweretostartatfiveo'clockinthemorningpunctually。
　　Iwascalledatfour，thatImightbecertainofkeepingnobodywaiting；andhavinggotsomebreadandmilkforbreakfast，threwupthewindowandlookeddownintothestreet，expectingtoseethewholepartybusilyastir，andgreatpreparationsgoingonbelow。
　　Butaseverythingwasveryquiet，andthestreetpresentedthathopelessaspectwithwhichfiveo'clockinthemorningisfamiliarelsewhere，Ideemeditaswelltogotobedagain，andwentaccordingly。
　　Iwokeagainatseveno'clock，andbythattimethepartyhadassembled，andweregatheredround，onelightcarriage，withaverystoutaxletree；onesomethingonwheelslikeanamateurcarrier'scart；onedoublephaetonofgreatantiquityandunearthlyconstruction；onegigwithagreatholeinitsbackandabrokenhead；andonerideronhorsebackwhowastogoonbefore。Igotintothefirstcoachwiththreecompanions；therestbestowedthemselvesintheothervehicles；twolargebasketsweremadefasttothelightest；twolargestonejarsinwickercases，technicallyknownasdemi-johns，wereconsignedtothe'leastrowdy'ofthepartyforsafe-keeping；andtheprocessionmovedofftotheferryboat，inwhichitwastocrosstheriverbodily，men，horses，carriages，andall，asthemannerinthesepartsis。
　　Wegotovertheriverinduecourse，andmusteredagainbeforealittlewoodenboxonwheels，hovedownallaslantinamorass，with'MERCHANTTAILOR'paintedinverylargelettersoverthedoor。
　　Havingsettledtheorderofproceeding，andtheroadtobetaken，westartedoffoncemoreandbegantomakeourwaythroughanill-
　　favouredBlackHollow，called，lessexpressively，theAmericanBottom。
　　Thepreviousdayhadbeen-nottosayhot，forthetermisweakandlukewarminitspowerofconveyinganideaofthetemperature。
　　Thetownhadbeenonfire；inablaze。Butatnightithadcomeontorainintorrents，andallnightlongithadrainedwithoutcessation。Wehadapairofverystronghorses，buttravelledattherateoflittlemorethanacoupleofmilesanhour，throughoneunbrokensloughofblackmudandwater。Ithadnovarietybutindepth。Nowitwasonlyhalfoverthewheels，nowithidtheaxletree，andnowthecoachsankdowninitalmosttothewindows。
　　Theairresoundedinalldirectionswiththeloudchirpingofthefrogs，who，withthepigsacoarse，uglybreed，asunwholesome-
　　lookingasthoughtheywerethespontaneousgrowthofthecountry，hadthewholescenetothemselves。Hereandtherewepassedaloghut:butthewretchedcabinswerewideapartandthinlyscattered，forthoughthesoilisveryrichinthisplace，fewpeoplecanexistinsuchadeadlyatmosphere。Oneithersideofthetrack，ifitdeservethename，wasthethick'bush；'andeverywherewasstagnant，slimy，rotten，filthywater。
　　Asitisthecustominthesepartstogiveahorseagallonorsoofcoldwaterwheneverheisinafoamwithheat，wehaltedforthatpurpose，ataloginninthewood，farremovedfromanyotherresidence。Itconsistedofoneroom，bare-roofedandbare-walledofcourse，withaloftabove。Theministeringpriestwasaswarthyyoungsavage，inashirtofcottonprintlikebed-furniture，andapairofraggedtrousers。Therewereacoupleofyoungboys，too，nearlynaked，lyingidlebythewell；andthey，andhe，andTHE
　　travellerattheinn，turnedouttolookatus。
　　Thetravellerwasanoldmanwithagreygristlybeardtwoincheslong，ashaggymoustacheofthesamehue，andenormouseyebrows；
　　whichalmostobscuredhislazy，semi-drunkenglance，ashestoodregardinguswithfoldedarms:poisinghimselfalternatelyuponhistoesandheels。Onbeingaddressedbyoneoftheparty，hedrewnearer，andsaid，rubbinghischinwhichscrapedunderhishornyhandlikefreshgravelbeneathanailedshoe，thathewasfromDelaware，andhadlatelyboughtafarm'downthere，'pointingintooneofthemarsheswherethestuntedtreeswerethickest。Hewas'going，'headded，toSt。Louis，tofetchhisfamily，whomhehadleftbehind；butheseemedinnogreathurrytobringontheseincumbrances，forwhenwemovedaway，heloiteredbackintothecabin，andwasplainlybentonstoppingtheresolongashismoneylasted。Hewasagreatpoliticianofcourse，andexplainedhisopinionsatsomelengthtooneofourcompany；butIonlyrememberthatheconcludedwithtwosentiments，oneofwhichwas，Somebodyforever；andtheother，Blasteverybodyelse!whichisbynomeansabadabstractofthegeneralcreedinthesematters。
　　Whenthehorseswereswollenouttoabouttwicetheirnaturaldimensionsthereseemstobeanideahere，thatthiskindofinflationimprovestheirgoing，wewentforwardagain，throughmudandmire，anddamp，andfesteringheat，andbrakeandbush，attendedalwaysbythemusicofthefrogsandpigs，untilnearlynoon，whenwehaltedataplacecalledBelleville。
　　Bellevillewasasmallcollectionofwoodenhouses，huddledtogetherintheveryheartofthebushandswamp。Manyofthemhadsingularlybrightdoorsofredandyellow；fortheplacehadbeenlatelyvisitedbyatravellingpainter，'whogotalong，'asIwastold，'byeatinghisway。'Thecriminalcourtwassitting，andwasatthatmomenttryingsomecriminalsforhorse-stealing:withwhomitwouldmostlikelygohard:forlivestockofallkindsbeingnecessarilyverymuchexposedinthewoods，isheldbythecommunityinratherhighervaluethanhumanlife；andforthisreason，juriesgenerallymakeapointoffindingallmenindictedforcattle-stealing，guilty，whetherorno。
　　Thehorsesbelongingtothebar，thejudge，andwitnesses，weretiedtotemporaryrackssetuproughlyintheroad；bywhichistobeunderstood，aforestpath，nearlyknee-deepinmudandslime。
　　Therewasanhotelinthisplace，which，likeallhotelsinAmerica，haditslargedining-roomforthepublictable。Itwasanodd，shambling，low-roofedout-house，half-cowshedandhalf-
　　kitchen，withacoarsebrowncanvastable-cloth，andtinsconcesstuckagainstthewalls，toholdcandlesatsupper-time。Thehorsemanhadgoneforwardtohavecoffeeandsomeeatablesprepared，andtheywerebythistimenearlyready。Hehadordered'wheat-breadandchickenfixings，'inpreferenceto'corn-breadandcommondoings。'Thelatterkindofrejectionincludesonlyporkandbacon。Theformercomprehendsbroiledham，sausages，vealcutlets，steaks，andsuchotherviandsofthatnatureasmaybesupposed，byatolerablywidepoeticalconstruction，'tofix'achickencomfortablyinthedigestiveorgansofanyladyorgentleman。
　　Ononeofthedoor-postsatthisinn，wasatinplate，whereonwasinscribedincharactersofgold，'DoctorCrocus；'andonasheetofpaper，pastedupbythesideofthisplate，wasawrittenannouncementthatDr。Crocuswouldthateveningdelivera
　　Thebeditselfwascoveredwithanoldpatch-workcounterpane。Theroomwasdestituteofcarpetorofcurtain。Therewasadampfireplacewithoutanystove，fullofwoodashes；achair，andaverysmalltable；andonthelast-namedpieceoffurniturewasdisplayed，ingrandarray，thedoctor'slibrary，consistingofsomehalf-dozengreasyoldbooks。
　　Now，itcertainlylookedaboutthelastapartmentonthewholeearthoutofwhichanymanwouldbelikelytogetanythingtodohimgood。Butthedoor，asIhavesaid，stoodcoaxinglyopen，andplainlysaidinconjunctionwiththechair，theportrait，thetable，andthebooks，'Walkin，gentlemen，walkin!Don'tbeill，gentlemen，whenyoumaybewellinnotime。DoctorCrocusishere，gentlemen，thecelebratedDr。Crocus!Dr。Crocushascomeallthiswaytocureyou，gentlemen。Ifyouhaven'theardofDr。Crocus，it'syourfault，gentlemen，wholivealittlewayoutoftheworldhere:notDr。Crocus's。Walkin，gentlemen，walkin!'
　　Inthepassagebelow，whenIwentdown-stairsagain，wasDr。Crocushimself。AcrowdhadflockedinfromtheCourtHouse，andavoicefromamongthemcalledouttothelandlord，'Colonel!introduceDoctorCrocus。'
　　'Mr。Dickens，'saysthecolonel，'DoctorCrocus。'
　　UponwhichDoctorCrocus，whoisatall，fine-lookingScotchman，butratherfierceandwarlikeinappearanceforaprofessorofthepeacefulartofhealing，burstsoutoftheconcoursewithhisrightarmextended，andhischestthrownoutasfarasitwillpossiblycome，andsays:
　　'Yourcountryman，sir!'
　　WhereuponDoctorCrocusandIshakehands；andDoctorCrocuslooksasifIdidn'tbyanymeansrealisehisexpectations，which，inalinenblouse，andagreatstrawhat，withagreenribbon，andnogloves，andmyfaceandnoseprofuselyornamentedwiththestingsofmosquitoesandthebitesofbugs，itisverylikelyIdidnot。
　　'Longintheseparts，sir？'saysI。
　　'Threeorfourmonths，sir，'saystheDoctor。
　　'Doyouthinkofsoonreturningtotheoldcountry？'saysI。
　　DoctorCrocusmakesnoverbalanswer，butgivesmeanimploringlook，whichsayssoplainly'Willyouaskmethatagain，alittlelouder，ifyouplease？'thatIrepeatthequestion。
　　'Thinkofsoonreturningtotheoldcountry，sir!'repeatstheDoctor。
　　'Totheoldcountry，sir，'Irejoin。
　　DoctorCrocuslooksrounduponthecrowdtoobservetheeffectheproduces，rubshishands，andsays，inaveryloudvoice:
　　'Notyetawhile，sir，notyet。Youwon'tcatchmeatthatjustyet，sir。IamalittletoofondoffreedomforTHAT，sir。Ha，ha!It'snotsoeasyforamantotearhimselffromafreecountrysuchasthisis，sir。Ha，ha!No，no!Ha，ha!Noneofthattillone'sobligedtodoit，sir。No，no!'
　　AsDoctorCrocussaystheselatterwords，heshakeshishead，knowingly，andlaughsagain。Manyofthebystandersshaketheirheadsinconcertwiththedoctor，andlaughtoo，andlookateachotherasmuchastosay，'Aprettybrightandfirst-ratesortofchapisCrocus!'andunlessIamverymuchmistaken，agoodmanypeoplewenttothelecturethatnight，whoneverthoughtaboutphrenology，oraboutDoctorCrocuseither，inalltheirlivesbefore。
　　FromBelleville，wewenton，throughthesamedesolatekindofwaste，andconstantlyattended，withouttheintervalofamoment，bythesamemusic；until，atthreeo'clockintheafternoon，wehaltedoncemoreatavillagecalledLebanontoinflatethehorsesagain，andgivethemsomecornbesides:ofwhichtheystoodmuchinneed。Pendingthisceremony，Iwalkedintothevillage，whereI
　　metafull-sizeddwelling-housecomingdown-hillataroundtrot，drawnbyascoreormoreofoxen。
　　Thepublic-housewassoverycleanandgoodaone，thatthemanagersofthejauntresolvedtoreturntoitandputupthereforthenight，ifpossible。Thiscoursedecidedon，andthehorsesbeingwellrefreshed，weagainpushedforward，andcameuponthePrairieatsunset。
　　Itwouldbedifficulttosaywhy，orhow-thoughitwaspossiblyfromhavingheardandreadsomuchaboutit-buttheeffectonmewasdisappointment。Lookingtowardsthesettingsun，therelay，stretchedoutbeforemyview，avastexpanseoflevelground；
　　unbroken，savebyonethinlineoftrees，whichscarcelyamountedtoascratchuponthegreatblank；untilitmettheglowingsky，whereinitseemedtodip:minglingwithitsrichcolours，andmellowinginitsdistantblue。Thereitlay，atranquilseaorlakewithoutwater，ifsuchasimilebeadmissible，withthedaygoingdownuponit:afewbirdswheelinghereandthere:andsolitudeandsilencereigningparamountaround。Butthegrasswasnotyethigh；therewerebareblackpatchesontheground；andthefewwildflowersthattheeyecouldsee，werepoorandscanty。
　　Greatasthepicturewas，itsveryflatnessandextent，whichleftnothingtotheimagination，tameditdownandcrampeditsinterest。
　　IfeltlittleofthatsenseoffreedomandexhilarationwhichaScottishheathinspires，orevenourEnglishdownsawaken。Itwaslonelyandwild，butoppressiveinitsbarrenmonotony。IfeltthatintraversingthePrairies，Icouldneverabandonmyselftothescene，forgetfulofallelse；asIshoulddoinstinctively，weretheheatherunderneathmyfeet，oraniron-boundcoastbeyond；
　　butshouldoftenglancetowardsthedistantandfrequently-recedinglineofthehorizon，andwishitgainedandpassed。Itisnotascenetobeforgotten，butitisscarcelyone，Ithinkatallevents，asIsawit，torememberwithmuchpleasure，ortocovetthelooking-onagain，inafter-life。
　　Weencampednearasolitarylog-house，forthesakeofitswater，anddinedupontheplain。Thebasketscontainedroastfowls，buffalo'stongueanexquisitedainty，bytheway，ham，bread，cheese，andbutter；biscuits，champagne，sherry；lemonsandsugarforpunch；andabundanceofroughice。Themealwasdelicious，andtheentertainerswerethesoulofkindnessandgoodhumour。Ihaveoftenrecalledthatcheerfulpartytomypleasantrecollectionsince，andshallnoteasilyforget，injunketingsnearerhomewithfriendsofolderdate，mybooncompanionsonthePrairie。
　　ReturningtoLebanonthatnight，welayatthelittleinnatwhichwehadhaltedintheafternoon。InpointofcleanlinessandcomfortitwouldhavesufferedbynocomparisonwithanyEnglishalehouse，ofahomelykind，inEngland。
　　Risingatfiveo'clocknextmorning，Itookawalkaboutthevillage:noneofthehouseswerestrollingaboutto-day，butitwasearlyforthemyet，perhaps:andthenamusedmyselfbylounginginakindoffarm-yardbehindthetavern，ofwhichtheleadingfeatureswere，astrangejumbleofroughshedsforstables；
　　arudecolonnade，builtasacoolplaceofsummerresort；adeepwell；agreatearthenmoundforkeepingvegetablesin，inwintertime；andapigeon-house，whoselittleapertureslooked，astheydoinallpigeon-houses，verymuchtoosmallfortheadmissionoftheplumpandswelling-breastedbirdswhowerestruttingaboutit，thoughtheytriedtogetinneversohard。Thatinterestexhausted，Itookasurveyoftheinn'stwoparlours，whichweredecoratedwithcolouredprintsofWashington，andPresidentMadison，andofawhite-facedyoungladymuchspeckledbytheflies，whohelduphergoldneck-chainfortheadmirationofthespectator，andinformedalladmiringcomersthatshewas'JustSeventeen:'althoughIshouldhavethoughtherolder。Inthebestroomweretwooilportraitsofthekit-catsize，representingthelandlordandhisinfantson；bothlookingasboldaslions，andstaringoutofthecanvaswithanintensitythatwouldhavebeencheapatanyprice。Theywerepainted，Ithink，bytheartistwhohadtoucheduptheBellevilledoorswithredandgold；forIseemedtorecognisehisstyleimmediately。
　　Afterbreakfast，westartedtoreturnbyadifferentwayfromthatwhichwehadtakenyesterday，andcomingupatteno'clockwithanencampmentofGermanemigrantscarryingtheirgoodsincarts，whohadmadearousingfirewhichtheywerejustquitting，stoppedtheretorefresh。Andverypleasantthefirewas；for，hotthoughithadbeenyesterday，itwasquitecoldto-day，andthewindblewkeenly。Loominginthedistance，aswerodealong，wasanotheroftheancientIndianburial-places，calledTheMonks'Mound；inmemoryofabodyoffanaticsoftheorderofLaTrappe，whofoundedadesolateconventthere，manyyearsago，whentherewerenosettlerswithinathousandmiles，andwereallsweptoffbytheperniciousclimate:inwhichlamentablefatality，fewrationalpeoplewillsuppose，perhaps，thatsocietyexperiencedanyveryseveredeprivation。
　　Thetrackofto-dayhadthesamefeaturesasthetrackofyesterday。Therewastheswamp，thebush，andtheperpetualchorusoffrogs，therankunseemlygrowth，theunwholesomesteamingearth。
　　Hereandthere，andfrequentlytoo，weencounteredasolitarybroken-downwaggon，fullofsomenewsettler'sgoods。Itwasapitifulsighttoseeoneofthesevehiclesdeepinthemire；theaxle-treebroken；thewheellyingidlybyitsside；themangonemilesaway，tolookforassistance；thewomanseatedamongtheirwanderinghouseholdgodswithababyatherbreast，apictureofforlorn，dejectedpatience；theteamofoxencrouchingdownmournfullyinthemud，andbreathingforthsuchcloudsofvapourfromtheirmouthsandnostrils，thatallthedampmistandfogaroundseemedtohavecomedirectfromthem。
　　Induetimewemusteredonceagainbeforethemerchanttailor's，andhavingdoneso，crossedovertothecityintheferry-boat:
　　passing，ontheway，aspotcalledBloodyIsland，theduelling-
　　groundofSt。Louis，andsodesignatedinhonourofthelastfatalcombatfoughtthere，whichwaswithpistols，breasttobreast。
　　Bothcombatantsfelldeadupontheground；andpossiblysomerationalpeoplemaythinkofthem，asofthegloomymadmenontheMonks'Mound，thattheywerenogreatlosstothecommunity。
　　CHAPTERXIV-RETURNTOCINCINNATI。ASTAGE-COACHRIDEFROMTHAT
　　CITYTOCOLUMBUS，ANDTHENCETOSANDUSKY。SO，BYLAKEERIE，TOTHE
　　FALLSOFNIAGARA
　　ASIhadadesiretotravelthroughtheinteriorofthestateofOhio，andto'strikethelakes，'asthephraseis，atasmalltowncalledSandusky，towhichthatroutewouldconductusonourwaytoNiagara，wehadtoreturnfromSt。Louisbythewaywehadcome，andtoretraceourformertrackasfarasCincinnati。
　　ThedayonwhichweweretotakeleaveofSt。Louisbeingveryfine；andthesteamboat，whichwastohavestartedIdon'tknowhowearlyinthemorning，postponing，forthethirdorfourthtime，herdepartureuntiltheafternoon；werodeforwardtoanoldFrenchvillageontheriver，calledproperlyCarondelet，andnicknamedVidePoche，andarrangedthatthepacketshouldcallforusthere。
　　Theplaceconsistedofafewpoorcottages，andtwoorthreepublic-houses；thestateofwhoselarderscertainlyseemedtojustifytheseconddesignationofthevillage，fortherewasnothingtoeatinanyofthem。Atlength，however，bygoingbacksomehalfamileorso，wefoundasolitaryhousewherehamandcoffeewereprocurable；andtherewetarriedtowaittheadventoftheboat，whichwouldcomeinsightfromthegreenbeforethedoor，alongwayoff。
　　Itwasaneat，unpretendingvillagetavern，andwetookourrepastinaquaintlittleroomwithabedinit，decoratedwithsomeoldoilpaintings，whichintheirtimehadprobablydonedutyinaCatholicchapelormonastery。Thefarewasverygood，andservedwithgreatcleanliness。Thehousewaskeptbyacharacteristicoldcouple，withwhomwehadalongtalk，andwhowereperhapsaverygoodsampleofthatkindofpeopleintheWest。
　　Thelandlordwasadry，tough，hard-facedoldfellownotsoveryoldeither，forhewasbutjustturnedsixty，Ishouldthink，whohadbeenoutwiththemilitiainthelastwarwithEngland，andhadseenallkindsofservice，-exceptabattle；andhehadbeenverynearseeingthat，headded:verynear。Hehadallhislifebeenrestlessandlocomotive，withanirresistibledesireforchange；
　　andwasstillthesonofhisoldself:forifhehadnothingtokeephimathome，hesaidslightlyjerkinghishatandhisthumbtowardsthewindowoftheroominwhichtheoldladysat，aswestoodtalkinginfrontofthehouse，hewouldcleanuphismusket，andbeofftoTexasto-morrowmorning。HewasoneoftheverymanydescendantsofCainpropertothiscontinent，whoseemdestinedfromtheirbirthtoserveaspioneersinthegreathumanarmy:whogladlygoonfromyeartoyearextendingitsoutposts，andleavinghomeafterhomebehindthem；anddieatlast，utterlyregardlessoftheirgravesbeingleftthousandsofmilesbehind，bythewanderinggenerationwhosucceed。
　　Hiswifewasadomesticated，kind-heartedoldsoul，whohadcomewithhim，'fromthequeencityoftheworld，'which，itseemed，wasPhiladelphia；buthadnoloveforthisWesterncountry，andindeedhadlittlereasontobearitany；havingseenherchildren，onebyone，diehereoffever，inthefullprimeandbeautyoftheiryouth。Herheartwassore，shesaid，tothinkofthem；andtotalkonthistheme，eventostrangers，inthatblightedplace，sofarfromheroldhome，easeditsomewhat，andbecameamelancholypleasure。
　　Theboatappearingtowardsevening，webadeadieutothepooroldladyandhervagrantspouse，andmakingforthenearestlanding-
　　place，weresoononboardTheMessengeragain，inouroldcabin，andsteamingdowntheMississippi。
　　Ifthecomingupthisriver，slowlymakingheadagainstthestream，beanirksomejourney，theshootingdownitwiththeturbidcurrentisalmostworse；forthentheboat，proceedingattherateoftwelveorfifteenmilesanhour，hastoforceitspassagethroughalabyrinthoffloatinglogs，which，inthedark，itisoftenimpossibletoseebeforehandoravoid。Allthatnight，thebellwasneversilentforfiveminutesatatime；andaftereveryringthevesselreeledagain，sometimesbeneathasingleblow，sometimesbeneathadozendealtinquicksuccession，thelightestofwhichseemedmorethanenoughtobeatinherfrailkeel，asthoughithadbeenpie-crust。Lookingdownuponthefilthyriverafterdark，itseemedtobealivewithmonsters，astheseblackmassesrolleduponthesurface，orcamestartingupagain，headfirst，whentheboat，inploughingherwayamongashoalofsuchobstructions，droveafewamongthemforthemomentunderwater。Sometimestheenginestoppedduringalonginterval，andthenbeforeherandbehind，andgatheringcloseaboutheronallsides，weresomanyoftheseill-
　　favouredobstaclesthatshewasfairlyhemmedin；thecentreofafloatingisland；andwasconstrainedtopauseuntiltheyparted，somewhere，asdarkcloudswilldobeforethewind，andopenedbydegreesachannelout。
　　Ingoodtimenextmorning，however，wecameagaininsightofthedetestablemorasscalledCairo；andstoppingtheretotakeinwood，layalongsideabarge，whosestartingtimbersscarcelyheldtogether。Itwasmooredtothebank，andonitssidewaspainted'CoffeeHouse；'thatbeing，Isuppose，thefloatingparadisetowhichthepeopleflyforshelterwhentheylosetheirhousesforamonthortwobeneaththehideouswatersoftheMississippi。Butlookingsouthwardfromthispoint，wehadthesatisfactionofseeingthatintolerableriverdraggingitsslimylengthanduglyfreightabruptlyofftowardsNewOrleans；andpassingayellowlinewhichstretchedacrossthecurrent，wereagainupontheclearOhio，never，Itrust，toseetheMississippimore，savingintroubleddreamsandnightmares。Leavingitforthecompanyofitssparklingneighbour，waslikethetransitionfrompaintoease，ortheawakeningfromahorriblevisiontocheerfulrealities。
　　WearrivedatLouisvilleonthefourthnight，andgladlyavailedourselvesofitsexcellenthotel。NextdaywewentonintheBenFranklin，abeautifulmailsteamboat，andreachedCincinnatishortlyaftermidnight。Beingbythistimenearlytiredofsleepinguponshelves，wehadremainedawaketogoashorestraightway；andgropingapassageacrossthedarkdecksofotherboats，andamonglabyrinthsofengine-machineryandleakingcasksofmolasses，wereachedthestreets，knockeduptheporteratthehotelwherewehadstayedbefore，andwere，toourgreatjoy，safelyhousedsoonafterwards。
　　WerestedbutonedayatCincinnati，andthenresumedourjourneytoSandusky。Asitcomprisedtwovarietiesofstage-coachtravelling，which，withthoseIhavealreadyglancedat，comprehendthemaincharacteristicsofthismodeoftransitinAmerica，Iwilltakethereaderasourfellow-passenger，andpledgemyselftoperformthedistancewithallpossibledespatch。
　　OurplaceofdestinationinthefirstinstanceisColumbus。ItisdistantaboutahundredandtwentymilesfromCincinnati，butthereisamacadamisedroadrareblessing!thewholeway，andtherateoftravellinguponitissixmilesanhour。
　　Westartateighto'clockinthemorning，inagreatmail-coach，whosehugecheeksaresoveryruddyandplethoric，thatitappearstobetroubledwithatendencyofbloodtothehead。Dropsicalitcertainlyis，foritwillholdadozenpassengersinside。But，wonderfultoadd，itisverycleanandbright，beingnearlynew；
　　andrattlesthroughthestreetsofCincinnatigaily。
　　Ourwayliesthroughabeautifulcountry，richlycultivated，andluxuriantinitspromiseofanabundantharvest。SometimeswepassafieldwherethestrongbristlingstalksofIndiancornlooklikeacropofwalking-sticks，andsometimesanenclosurewherethegreenwheatisspringingupamongalabyrinthofstumps；theprimitiveworm-fenceisuniversal，andanuglythingitis；butthefarmsareneatlykept，and，saveforthesedifferences，onemightbetravellingjustnowinKent。
　　Weoftenstoptowaterataroadsideinn，whichisalwaysdullandsilent。Thecoachmandismountsandfillshisbucket，andholdsittothehorses'heads。Thereisscarcelyeveranyonetohelphim；
　　thereareseldomanyloungersstandinground；andneveranystable-
　　companywithjokestocrack。Sometimes，whenwehavechangedourteam，thereisadifficultyinstartingagain，arisingoutoftheprevalentmodeofbreakingayounghorse:whichistocatchhim，harnesshimagainsthiswill，andputhiminastage-coachwithoutfurthernotice:butwegetonsomehoworother，afteragreatmanykicksandaviolentstruggle；andjogonasbeforeagain。
　　Occasionally，whenwestoptochange，sometwoorthreehalf-
　　drunkenloaferswillcomeloiteringoutwiththeirhandsintheirpockets，orwillbeseenkickingtheirheelsinrocking-chairs，orloungingonthewindow-sill，orsittingonarailwithinthecolonnade:theyhavenotoftenanythingtosaythough，eithertousortoeachother，butsitthereidlystaringatthecoachandhorses。Thelandlordoftheinnisusuallyamongthem，andseems，ofalltheparty，tobetheleastconnectedwiththebusinessofthehouse。Indeedheiswithreferencetothetavern，whatthedriverisinrelationtothecoachandpassengers:whateverhappensinhissphereofaction，heisquiteindifferent，andperfectlyeasyinhismind。
　　Thefrequentchangeofcoachmenworksnochangeorvarietyinthecoachman'scharacter。Heisalwaysdirty，sullen，andtaciturn。
　　Ifhebecapableofsmartnessofanykind，moralorphysical，hehasafacultyofconcealingitwhichistrulymarvellous。Heneverspeakstoyouasyousitbesidehimonthebox，andifyouspeaktohim，heanswersifatallinmonosyllables。Hepointsoutnothingontheroad，andseldomlooksatanything:being，toallappearance，thoroughlywearyofitandofexistencegenerally。Astodoingthehonoursofhiscoach，hisbusiness，asIhavesaid，iswiththehorses。Thecoachfollowsbecauseitisattachedtothemandgoesonwheels:notbecauseyouareinit。Sometimes，towardstheendofalongstage，hesuddenlybreaksoutintoadiscordantfragmentofanelectionsong，buthisfaceneversingsalongwithhim:itisonlyhisvoice，andnotoftenthat。
　　Healwayschewsandalwaysspits，andneverencumbershimselfwithapocket-handkerchief。Theconsequencestotheboxpassenger，especiallywhenthewindblowstowardshim，arenotagreeable。
　　Wheneverthecoachstops，andyoucanhearthevoicesoftheinsidepassengers；orwheneveranybystanderaddressesthem，oranyoneamongthem；ortheyaddresseachother；youwillhearonephraserepeatedoverandoverandoveragaintothemostextraordinaryextent。Itisanordinaryandunpromisingphraseenough，beingneithermorenorlessthan'Yes，sir；'butitisadaptedtoeveryvarietyofcircumstance，andfillsupeverypauseintheconversation。Thus:-