AdamsbycolleaguesinhisdepartmentatLambandCompany's。
AdamshadshownsomefeelingwhenAlicebegantourgeitsremovaltoobscurityinthe"upstairshall";heevenresistedforseveraldaysaftershehadthe"Colosseum"chargedtohim,framedinoak,andsenttothehouse。Shecheeredhimup,ofcourse,whenhegaveway;andherheartnevermisgaveherthattheremightbeadoubtwhichofthetwopictureswasthemoredismaying。
Overthepictures,thevases,theoldbrownplushrocking-chairsandthestool,overthethreegiltchairs,overthenewchintz-coveredeasychairandthegrayveluresofa——overeverythingeverywhere,wasthefamiliarcoatingofsmokegrime。
Ithadworkedintoeveryfibreofthelacecurtains,dingyingthemtoanunpleasantgray;itlayonthewindow-sillsanditdimmedtheglasspanes;itcoveredthewalls,coveredtheceiling,andwassmeareddarkerandthickerinallcorners。Yetherewasnofaultofhousewifery;thecursecouldnotbelifted,astheingrainedsmudgespermanentontheoncewhitewoodworkproved。Thegrimewasperpetuallyrenewed;scrubbingonlygrounditin。
ThisparticularuglinesswassmallpartofAlice'sdiscontent,forthoughthecoatinggrewalittledeepereachyearshewasusedtoit。Moreover,sheknewthatshewasnotlikelytofindanythingbetterinathousandmiles,solongasshekepttocities,andthatnoneofherfriends,howeveropulent,hadanyadvantageofherhere。Indeed,throughoutallthegreatsoft-coalcountry,peoplewhoconsiderthemselvescomparativelypoormayfindthisconsolation:cleanlinesshasbeenaddedtothevirtuesandbeatitudesthatmoneycannotbuy。
Alicebrightenedalittleasshewentforwardtothefrontdoor,andshebrightenedmorewhenthespringbreezemetherthere。
Thenalldepressionleftherasshewalkeddowntheshortbrickpathtothesidewalk,lookedupanddownthestreet,andsawhowbravelythemapleshade-trees,inspiteoftheblackpowdertheybreathed,wereflingingouttheirthousandsofyounggreenparticlesoverhead。
Sheturnednorth,treadingthenewlittleshadowsonthepavementbriskly,and,havingfinishedbuttoninghergloves,swungdownherMalaccastickfromunderherarmtoletittapamoreleisurelyaccompanimenttoherquick,shortstep。Shehadtostepquicklyifshewastogetanywhere;fortheclosenessofherskirt,inspiteofitslittlelength,permittednonaturalstride;butshewaspleasedtobeimpeded,thesebrevitiesformingpartofhershowoffashion。
Otherpedestriansfoundthemnotwithoutcharm,thoughapprovalmayhavebeenlackinghereandthere,andatthefirstcrossingAlicesufferedwhatshemighthaveaccountedanactualinjury,hadsheallowedherselftobesosensitive。Anelderlywomaninfussyblacksilkstoodthere,waitingforastreetcar;shewasallofaglobularmodelling,withafacepatternedlikeafrost-bittenpeach;andthattheapproachinggracefulnesswasuncongenialshenaivelymadetooevident。Herround,waneyesseemedrousedtobitterlifeastheyrosefromthecurvedhighheelsofthebuckledslipperstothetightlittleskirt,andthencewithstartledferocitytotheMalaccacane,whichplainlyappearedtoherasadecorationnotmoreastoundingthanitwasinsulting。
Perceivingthatthegirlwasbowingtoher,theglobularladyhurriedlymadeshifttoalterherinjuriousexpression。"Goodmorning,Mrs。Dowling,"Alicesaid,gravely。Mrs。DowlingreturnedthesalutationwithasmileasconvincinglybenevolentastheghastlysmileuponaSantaClausface;andthen,whileAlicepassedon,explodedtowardherasinglecompactedbreaththroughtightenedlips。
Thesoundwaseloquentlyaudible,thoughMrs。Dowlingremainedunawarethatinthisoranymannerwhatevershehadshedalightuponherthoughts;foritwasherlifelonginnocentconvictionthatotherpeoplesawheronlyasshewishedtobeseen,andheardfromheronlywhatsheintendedtobeheard。Athomeitwasalwaysherhusbandwhopulleddowntheshadesoftheirbedroomwindow。
Alicelookedseriousforafewmomentsafterthelittleencounter,thenfoundsomeconsolationinthebehaviourofagentlemanoffortyorsowhowascomingtowardher。LikeMrs。
Dowling,hehadbeguntoshowconsciousnessofAlice'sapproachwhileshewasyetafaroff;buthistokenswereofakindpleasantertoher。HewaslikeMrs。Dowlingagain,however,inhisconceptionthatAlicewouldnotrealizethesignificanceofwhathedid。Hepassedhishandoverhisneck-scarftoseethatitlayneatlytohiscollar,smoothedalapelofhiscoat,andadjustedhishat,seemingtobepreoccupiedthewhilewithproblemsthatkepthiseyestothepavement;then,ashecamewithinafewfeetofher,helookedup,asinasurprisedrecognitionalmostdramatic,smiledwinningly,liftedhishatdecisively,andcarriedittothefullarm'slength。
Alice'sresponsewasallhecouldhaveasked。Thecaneinherrighthandstoppedshortinitsswing,whileherlefthandmovedinaprettygestureasifanimpulsecarriedittowardtheheart;
andshesmiled,withherunderlipcaughtsuddenlybetweenherteeth。Monthsagoshehadseenanactressusethissmileinaplay,anditcameperfectlytoAlicenow,withoutconsciousdirection,ithadbeensowellacquired;buttheprettyhand'slittleimpulsetowardtheheartwasanoriginalbitallherown,onthespurofthemoment。
Thegentlemanwenton,passingfromherforwardvisionashereplacedhishat。OfhimselfhewasnothingtoAlice,exceptforthegraciouscircumstancethathehadshownstrongconsciousnessofaprettygirl。Hewasmiddle-aged,substantial,afamilyman,securelymarried;andAlicehadwithhimoneofthoselongacquaintancesthatneverbecomeemphasizedbysomuchasfiveminutesoftalk;yetforthisinconsequentmeetingshehadenactedalittlepartlikeafragmentinapantomimeofSpanishwooing。
Itwasnotforhim——noteventoimpresshim,exceptasamessenger。Alicewasherselfalmostunawareofherthought,whichwasoneoftherunningthousandsofherthoughtsthattooknodeliberateforminwords。Nevertheless,shehadit,anditwastheimpulseofallherprettybitsofpantomimewhenshemetotheracquaintanceswhomadetheirappreciationvisible,asthissubstantialgentlemandid。InAlice'sunwordedthought,hewastobethusencouragedasinsomemeasureachampiontospeakwellofhertotheworld;butmorethanthis:hewastotellsomemagnificentunknownbachelorhowwonderful,howmysterious,shewas。
Shehastenedongravely,alittlestirredreciprocallywiththesupposedstirringsinthebreastofthatshadowyducalmate,whomustbesomewhere"waiting,"orperhapsalreadyseekingher;forshemoreoftenthoughtofherselfas"waiting"whilehesoughther;andsometimesthisviewofthingsbecamesodefinitethatitshapedintoamurmuronherlips。"Waiting。Justwaiting。"Andshemightadd,"Forhim!"Then,beingtwenty-two,shewasapttoconcludethemysticinterviewbylaughingatherself,thoughnotwithoutacontinuedwistfulness。
Shecametoagroupofsmallcolouredchildrenplayingwaywardlyinapuddleatthemouthofamuddyalley;andatsightofhertheygaveovertheirpastimeinordertostare。Shesmiledbrilliantlyuponthem,buttheyweretoostruckwithwondertocomprehendthatthemanifestationwasfriendly;andasAlicepickedherwayinalittledetourtokeepfromthemud,sheheardoneofthemsay,"Ladygotcane!Jeez'!"
Sheknewthatmanycolouredchildrenuseimpietiesfamiliarly,andshewasnotstartled。Shewasdisturbed,however,byanunfavourablehintinthespeaker'stone。Hewassix,probably,butthestingofacriticismisnotnecessarilyallayedbyknowledgeofitsignoblesource,andAlicehadalreadybeguntofeelaslightuneasinessabouthercane。Mrs。Dowling'sstarehadbeenstrikinglyprojectedatit;otherwomenmorethanmerelyglanced,theirbrowsandlipscontractingimpulsively;andAlicewasawarethatoneortwoofthemfranklyhaltedassoonasshehadpassed。
Shehadseeninseveralmagazinespicturesofladieswithcanes,andonthataccountshehadboughtthisone,neverquestioningthatfashionisrecognized,evenintheprovinces,assoonasbeheld。Onthecontrary,thesestaringwomenobviouslyfailedtorealizethatwhattheywerebeingshownwasnotaneccentricoutburst,butthebrightharbingerofanillustriousmode。Alicehadappliedabitofartificialpigmenttoherlipsandcheeksbeforeshesetforththismorning;shedidnotneedit,havingareadycolourofherown,whichnowmountedhighwithannoyance。
Thenasplendidlyshiningclosedblackautomobile,withwindowsofpolishedglass,camesilentlydownthestreettowardher。
Withinit,asinaluxuriouslittleapartment,threecomelyladiesinmourningsatandgossiped;butwhentheysawAlicetheyclutchedoneanother。Theyinstantlyrecovered,bowingtohersolemnlyastheywereborneby,yetwerenotgonefromhersightsoswiftlybuttheedgeofhersideglancecaughtaflashofteethinmouthssuddenlyopened,andthedarkglistenofblackglovesagainclutchingtosharemirth。
ThecolourthatoutdidtherougeonAlice'scheekextendeditsareaandgrewwarmerassherealizedhowalltoocordialhadbeenhernodandsmiletothesehumorousladies。Butintheiridentitylayasignificancecausingherasharpersmart,fortheywereofthefamilyofthatLamb,chiefofLambandCompany,whohademployedherfathersincebeforeshewasborn。
"Andknowhissalary!They'dbeSUREtofindoutaboutthat!"
washerthought,coupledwithanotherbitteronetotheeffectthattheyhadprobablymadeinstantaneousfinancialestimatesofwhatsheworethoughcertainlyherwalking-stickhadmostfedtheirhilarity。
Shetuckeditunderherarm,notswingingitagain;andherbreathbecamequickandirregularasemotionbesether。Shehadbeenenjoyingherwalk,butwithinthespaceofthefewblocksshehadgonesinceshemetthesubstantialgentleman,shefoundthatmorethanthewalkwasspoiled:suddenlyherlifeseemedtobespoiled,too;thoughshedidnotviewtheruinwithcomplaisance。TheseLambwomenthoughtherandhercaneridiculous,didthey?shesaidtoherself。Thatwastheirparvenublood:tothinkbecauseagirl'sfatherworkedfortheirgrandfathershehadnorighttoberatherstrikinginstyle,especiallywhenthestrikingWASherstyle。Probablyalltheothergirlsandwomenwouldagreewiththemandwouldlaughatherwhentheygottogether,and,whatmightbefatal,wouldtrytomakeallthementhinkherasillypretender。Menwerejustlikesheep,andnothingwaseasierthanforwomentosetupasshepherdsandpentheminafold。"Tokeepoutoutsiders,"Alicethought。"Andmake'embelieveIAManoutsider。What'stheuseofliving?"
Allseemedlostwhenatrimyoungmanappeared,stridingoutofacross-streetnotfarbeforeher,and,turningatthecorner,cametowardher。Visibly,heslackenedhisgaittolengthenthetimeofhisapproach,and,ashewasastrangertoher,nomotivecouldbeascribedtohimotherthanawishtohavealongertimetolookather。
Sheliftedaprettyhandtoapinatherthroat,bitherlip——notwiththesmile,butmysteriously——andatthelastinstantbeforehershadowtouchedthestranger,lethereyesgravelymeethis。
Amomentlater,havingarrivedbeforethehousewhichwasherdestination,shehaltedattheentrancetoadrivewayleadingthroughfinelawnstotheintentionallyimportantmansion。Itwasapleasantandimpressiveplacetobeseenentering,butAlicedidnotenteratonce。Shepaused,examiningatinybitofmortarwhichthemasonshadforgottentoscrapefromabrickinoneofthemassivegate-posts。Shefrownedatthistinydefacement,andwithanairofannoyancescrapeditaway,usingtheferruleofhercaneanactoffastidiousproprietorship。Ifanyonehadlookedbackoverhisshoulderhewouldnothavedoubtedthatshelivedthere。
Alicedidnotturntoseewhetheranythingofthesorthappenedornot,butshemayhavesurmisedthatitdid。Atallevents,itwaswithaninvigoratedstepthatsheleftthegatewaybehindherandwentcheerfullyupthedrivetothehouseofherfriendMildred。
CHAPTERIV
Adamshadarestlessmorning,andtowardnoonheaskedMissPerrytocallhisdaughter;hewishedtosaysomethingtoher。
"IthoughtIheardherleavingthehouseacoupleofhoursago——maybelonger,"thenursetoldhim。"I'llgosee。"Andshereturnedfromthebrieferrand,herimpressionconfirmedbyinformationfromMrs。Adams。"Yes。ShewentuptoMissMildredPalmer'stoseewhatshe'sgoingtowearto-night。"
AdamslookedatMissPerrywearily,butremainedpassive,makingnoinquiries;forhewaslongaccustomedtowhatseemedtohimakindofjargonamongladies,whichbecamethemoreincomprehensiblewhentheytriedtoexplainit。Aman'sbestcourse,hehadfound,wasjusttoletitgoassomuchsound。
Hissorrowfuleyesfollowedthenurseasshewentbacktoherrocking-chairbythewindow,andherplacidityshowedhimthattherewasnomysteryforherinthefactthatAlicewalkedtwomilestoasksosimpleaquestionwhentherewasatelephoneinthehouse。ObviouslyMissPerryalsocomprehendedwhyAlicethoughtitimportanttoknowwhatMildredmeanttowear。AdamsunderstoodwhyAliceshouldbeconcernedwithwhatsheherselfwore"tolookneatandtidyandatherbest,why,ofcourseshe'dwantto,"hethought——butherealizedthatitwasforeverbeyondhimtounderstandwhytheclothingofotherpeoplehadlongsincebecomeanabsorbingpartofherlife。
Herexcursionthismorningwasnonovelty;shewascontinuallygoingtoseewhatMildredmeanttowear,orwhatsomeothergirlmeanttowear;andwhenAlicecamehomefromwhereverothergirlsorwomenhadbeengathered,shealwayshurriedtohermotherwithearnestdescriptionsoftheclothingshehadseen。Atsuchtimes,ifAdamswaspresent,hemightrecognize"organdie,"or"taffeta,"or"chiffon,"aswordsdefiningcertaintextiles,buttherestwastootechnicalforhim,andhewaslikeadismalboyatasermon,justwaitingforittogetitselffinished。Nottheleastofthemysterywashiswife'sinterest:shewasalmostindifferentaboutherownclothes,andwhensheconsultedAliceaboutthemspokehurriedlyandwithanairofapology;butwhenAlicedescribedotherpeople'sclothes,Mrs。Adamslistenedaseagerlyasthedaughtertalked。
"Theretheygo!"hemutteredto-day,amomentafterheheardthefrontdoorclosing,asoundrecognizablethroughoutmostofthethinlybuilthouse。Alicehadjustreturned,andMrs。Adamscalledtoherfromtheupperhallway,notfarfromAdams'sdoor。
"WhatdidsheSAY?"
"Shewassortofsnippyaboutit,"Alicereturned,ascendingthestairs。"Shegetsthatwaysometimes,andpretendedshehadn'tmadeuphermind,butI'mprettysureit'llbethemaizeGeorgettewithMalinesflounces。"
"Didn'tyousaysheworethatatthePattersons'?"Mrs。Adamsinquired,asAlicearrivedatthetopofthestairs。"Anddidn'tyoutellmesheworeitagainatthe——"
"Certainlynot,"Aliceinterrupted,ratherpetulantly。"She'sneverwornitbutonce,andofcourseshewouldn'twanttowearanythingto-nightthatpeoplehaveseenherinalot。"
MissPerryopenedthedoorofAdams'sroomandsteppedout。
"Yourfatherwantstoknowifyou'llcomeandseehimaminute,,MissAdams。"
"Pooroldthing!Ofcourse!"Aliceexclaimed,andwentquicklyintotheroom,MissPerryremainingoutside。"What'sthematter,papa?Gettingawfulsickoflyingonhistiredoldback,I
expect。"
"I'vehadkindofapoormorning,"Adamssaid,asshepattedhishandcomfortingly。"Ibeenthinking——"
"Didn'tItellyounotto?"shecried,gaily。"Ofcourseyou'llhavepoortimeswhenyougoanddojustexactlywhatIsayyoumustn't。Youstopthinkingthisveryminute!"
Hesmiledruefully,closinghiseyes;wassilentforamoment,thenaskedhertositbesidethebed。"IbeenthinkingofsomethingIwantedtosay,"headded。
"Whatlike,papa?"
"Well,it'snothing——much,"hesaid,withsomethingdeprecatoryinhistone,asifhefeltvagueimpulsestowardbothhumourandapology。"IjustthoughtmaybeIoughtto'vesaidmoretoyousometimeorotherabout——well,aboutthewaythingsARE,downatLambandCompany's,forinstance。"
"Now,papa!"Sheleanedforwardinthechairshehadtaken,andpretendedtoslaphishandcrossly。"Isn'tthatexactlywhatI
saidyoucouldn'tthinkonesinglethinkabouttillyougetALL
well?"
"Well——"hesaid,andwentonslowly,notlookingather,butattheceiling。"Ijustthoughtmaybeitwouldn'tbeenanyharmifsometimeorotherItoldyousomethingaboutthewaytheysortofdependonmedownthere。"
"Whydon'ttheyshowit,then?"sheasked,quickly。"That'sjustwhatmamaandIhavebeenfeelingsomuch;theydon'tappreciateyou。"
"Why,yes,theydo,"hesaid。"Yes,theydo。Theybeganh'istingmysalarythesecondyearIwentinthere,andthey'veh'isteditalittleeverytwoyearsallthetimeI'veworkedfor'em。I'vebeenheadofthesundriesdepartmentforsevenyearsnow,andIcouldhardlyhavemoreauthorityinthatdepartmentunlessIwasamemberofthefirmitself。"
"Well,whydon'ttheymakeyouamemberofthefirm?That'swhattheyoughtto'vedone!Yes,andlongago!"
Adamslaughed,butsighedwithmoreheartinessthanhehadlaughed。"Theycallmetheir'oldeststand-by'downthere。"Helaughedagain,apologetically,asiftoexcusehimselffortakingalittleprideinthistitle。"Yes,sir;theysayI'mtheir'oldeststand-by';andIguesstheyknowtheycancountonmydepartment'sturninginasgoodareportastheylookfor,attheendofeverymonth;buttheydon'thavetotakeamanintothefirmtogethimtodomywork,dearie。"
"Butyousaidtheydependedonyou,papa。"
"Sotheydo;butofcoursenotso'stheycouldn'tgetalongwithoutme。"Hepaused,reflecting。"Idon'tjustseemtoknowhowtoputit——ImeanhowtoputwhatIstartedouttosay。I
kindofwantedtotellyou——well,itseemsfunnytome,theselastfewyears,thewayyourmother'stakentofeelingaboutit。
I'dliketoseeabetterestablishedwholesaledrugbusinessthanLambandCompanythissidetheAlleghanies——Idon'tsaybigger,I
saybetterestablished——andit'skindoffunnyforamanthat'sbeenwithabusinesslikethataslongasIhavetohearitcalleda'hole。'It'skindoffunnywhenyouthink,yourself,you'vedoneprettyfairlywellinabusinesslikethat,andthemenattheheadofitseemtothinkso,too,andputyoursalaryjustaboutashighasanybodycouldconsidercustomary——well,whatImean,Alice,it'skindoffunnytohaveyourmotherthinkit'smostlyjust——mostlyjustafailure,sotospeak。"
Hisvoicehadbecometremulousinspiteofhim;andthissignofweaknessandemotionhadsufficienteffectuponAlice。Shebentoverhimsuddenly,withherarmabouthimandhercheekagainsthis。"Poorpapa!"shemurmured。"Poorpapa!"
"No,no,"hesaid。"Ididn'tmeananythingtotroubleyou。I
justthought——"Hehesitated。"Ijustwondered——Ithoughtmaybeitwouldn'tbeanyharmifIsaidsomethingabouthowthingsAREdownthere。Igottothinkingmaybeyoudidn'tunderstandit'saprettygoodplace。They'refinepeopletoworkfor;andthey'vealwaysseemedtothinksomethingofme;——thewaytheytookWalteron,forinstance,soonasIasked'em,lastyear。Don'tyouthinkthatlookedagooddealasiftheythoughtsomethingofme,Alice?"
"Yes,papa,"shesaid,notmoving。
"Andthework'srightpleasant,"hewenton。"Mightyniceboysinourdepartment,Alice。Well,theyareinallthedepartments,forthatmatter。Wehaveagooddealoffundowntheresomedays。"
Sheliftedherhead。"Morethanyoudoathome'somedays,'I
expect,papa!"shesaid。
Heprotestedfeebly。"Now,Ididn'tmeanthat——Ididn'twanttotroubleyou——"
Shelookedathimthroughwinkingeyelashes。"I'msorryIcalledita'hole,'papa。"
"No,no,"heprotested,gently。"Itwasyourmothersaidthat。"
"No。Idid,too。"
"Well,ifyoudid,itwasonlybecauseyou'dheardher。"
Sheshookherhead,thenkissedhim。"I'mgoingtotalktoher,"
shesaid,androsedecisively。
Butatthis,herfather'stroubledvoicebecamequicklylouder:
"Youbetterletheralone。Ijustwantedtohavealittletalkwithyou。Ididn'tmeantostartany——yourmotherwon't——"
"Now,papa!"Alicespokecheerfullyagain,andsmileduponhim。
"Iwantyoutoquitworrying!Everything'sgoingtobeallrightandnobody'sgoingtobotheryouanymoreaboutanything。You'llsee!"
Shecarriedhersmileoutintothehall,butaftershehadclosedthedoorherfacewasallpity;andhermother,waitingforherintheoppositeroom,spokesympathetically。
"What'sthematter,Alice?Whatdidhesaythat'supsetyou?"
"Waitaminute,mama。"Alicefoundahandkerchief,useditforeyesandsuffusednose,gulped,thensuddenlyanddesolatelysatuponthebed。"Poor,poor,POORpapa!"shewhispered。
"Why?"Mrs。Adamsinquired,mildly。"What'sthematterwithhim?Sometimesyouactasifheweren'tgettingwell。What'shebeentalkingabout?"
"Mama——well,IthinkI'mprettyselfish。Oh,Ido!"
"Didhesayyouwere?"
"Papa?No,indeed!WhatImeanis,maybewe'rebothalittleselfishtotrytomakehimgooutandhuntaroundforsomethingnew。"
Mrs。Adamslookedthoughtful。"Oh,that'swhathewasupto!"
"Mama,Ithinkweoughttogiveitup。Ididn'tdreamithadreallyhurthim。"
"Well,doesn'thehurtus?"
"NeverthatIknowof,mama。"
"Idon'tmeanbySAYINGthings,"Mrs。Adamsexplained,impatiently。"Therearemorewaysthanthatofhurtingpeople。
Whenamanstickstoasalarythatdoesn'tprovideforhisfamily,isn'tthathurtingthem?"
"Oh,it'provides'foruswellenough,mama。Wehavewhatweneed——ifIweren'tsoextravagant。Oh,_I_knowIam!"
Butatthisadmissionhermothercriedoutsharply。
"'Extravagant!'Youhaven'tonetenthofwhattheothergirlsyougowithhave。AndyouCAN'Thavewhatyououghttoaslongashedoesn'tgetoutofthathorribleplace。Itprovidesbarefoodandshelterforus,butwhat'sthat?"
"Idon'tthinkweoughttotryanymoretochangehim。"
"Youdon't?"Mrs。Adamscameandstoodbeforeher。"Listen,Alice:yourfather'sasleep;that'shistrouble,andhe'sgottobewakedup。Hedoesn'tknowthatthingshavechanged。WhenyouandWalterwerelittlechildrenwedidhaveenough——atleastitseemedtobeaboutasmuchasmostofthepeopleweknew。Butthetownisn'twhatitwasinthosedays,andtimesaren'twhattheywerethen,andthesefearfulPRICESaren'ttheoldprices。
Everythingelsebutyourfatherhaschanged,andallthetimehe'sstoodstill。Hedoesn'tknowit;hethinksbecausethey'vegivenhimahundreddollarsmoreeverytwoyearshe'squiteaprosperousman!AndhethinksthatbecausehischildrencosthimmorethanheandIcostourparentshegivesthem——enough!"
"ButWalter——"Alicefaltered。"Walterdoesn'tcosthimanythingatallanymore。"Andsheconcluded,inastrickenvoice,"It'sall——me!"
"Whyshouldn'titbe?"hermothercried。"You'reyoung——you'rejustatthetimewhenyourlifeshouldbefullestofgoodthingsandhappiness。Yetwhatdoyouget?"
Alice'slipquivered;shewasnotunsusceptibletosuchanappeal,butshecontrivedthesemblanceofaprotest。"Idon'thavesuchabadtimenotagoodDEALofthetime,anyhow。I'vegotagoodMANYofthethingsothergirlshave——"
"Youhave?"Mrs。Adamswaspiteouslysatirical。"Isupposeyou'vegotalimousinetogotothatdanceto-night?Isupposeyou'veonlygottocallafloristandtellhimtosendyousomeorchids?Isupposeyou've——"
ButAliceinterruptedthislist。Apparentlyinasingleinstantallemotionlefther,andshebecamebusinesslike,asoneinthemidstoftriflesremindedofreallyseriousmatters。Shegotupfromthebedandwenttothedooroftheclosetwhereshekeptherdresses。"Oh,seehere,"shesaid,briskly。"I'vedecidedtowearmywhiteorgandieifyoucouldputinanewliningforme。I'mafraidit'lltakeyounearlyallafternoon。"
Shebroughtforththedress,displayedituponthebed,andMrs。
Adamsexamineditattentively。
"Doyouthinkyoucouldgetitdone,mama?"
"Idon'tseewhynot,"Mrs。Adamsanswered,passingathoughtfulhandoverthefabric。"Itoughtn'ttotakemorethanfourorfivehours。"
"It'sashametohaveyousitatthemachinethatlong,"Alicesaid,absently,adding,"AndI'msureweoughttoletpapaalone。
Let'sjustgiveitup,mama。"
Mrs。Adamscontinuedherthoughtfulexaminationofthedress。
"Didyoubuythechiffonandribbon,Alice?"
"Yes。I'msureweoughtn'ttotalktohimaboutitanymore,mama。"
"Well,we'llsee。"
"Let'sbothagreethatwe'llNEVERsayanothersinglewordtohimaboutit,"saidAlice。"It'llbeagreatdealbetterifwejustlethimmakeuphismindforhimself。"
CHAPTERV
Withthis,havingmoreimmediatelypracticalquestionsbeforethem,theydroppedthesubject,tobendtheirentireattentionuponthedress;andwhenthelunch-gongsoundeddownstairsAlicewasstillsketchingrepairsandalterations。Shecontinuedtosketchthem,notheedingthesummons。
"Isupposewe'dbettergodowntolunch,"Mrs。Adamssaid,absently。"She'satthegongagain。"Inaminute,mama。Nowaboutthesleeves——"Andshewentonwithherplanning。
Unfortunatelythegongwasinexpressiveofthemoodofthepersonwhobeatuponit。Itconsistedofthreelittlemetalbowlsuponastring;theywereunequalinsize,and,uponbeingtappedwithapaddedstick,gaveforthvibrationsalmostmusicallypleasant。
ItwasAlicewhohadsubstitutedthiscontrivanceforthebrass"dinner-bell"inusethroughoutherchildhood;andneithershenortheothersofherfamilyrealizedthatthesubstitutionofsweetersoundshadmadethelifeofthathouseholdmoredifficult。Inspiteofdismayingincreasesinwages,theAdamsesstillstrovetokeepacook;and,astheywereunabletopaythehigherratesdemandedbyagoodone,whattheyusuallyhadwasawhimsicalcolouredwomanofnomadicimpulses。Inthehandsofsuchapersontheold-fashioned"dinner-bell"wassatisfying;
lifecouldinstantlybemadeintolerableforanyonedawdlingonhiswaytoameal;thebellwascapableofeverydesirableprofanityandleftnothingbottledupinthebreastoftheringer。Butthechamois-coveredstickmightwhackuponAlice'slittleChinesebowlsforaconsiderablelengthoftimeandproducenogreateffectofurgencyuponahearer,noranyothereffect,exceptfuryinthecook。Theironicalimpossibilityofexpressingindignationotherwisethanbysoundsofgentleharmonyprovedexasperating;thecookwasapttobecomesurcharged,sothatexplosiveresignations,neverrare,weresomewhatmorefrequentaftertheintroductionofthegong。
Mrs。Adamstookthisincreasedfrequencytobeonlyanothermanifestationoftheinexplicablenewdifficultiesthatbesetallhousekeeping。Youpaidacookdoublewhatyouhadpaidoneafewyearsbefore;andthecookknewhalfasmuchofcookery,andhadnogratitude。Themoreyougavethesepeople,itseemed,theworsetheybehaved——aconditionnottoberemediedbysimplygivingthemless,becauseyoucouldn'tevengettheworstunlessyoupaidherwhatshedemanded。Nevertheless,Mrs。Adamsremainedfitfullyanoptimistinthematter。Broughtupbyhermothertospeakofafemalecookas"thegirl,"shehadbeeninstructedbyAlicetodropthatdefinitioninfavourofonenotanimprovementinaccuracy:"themaid。"Almostalways,duringthefirstdayorsoaftereverycookcame,Mrs。Adamswouldsay,atintervals,withanairoftriumph:"Ibelieve——ofcourseit'salittlesoontobesure——butIdoreallybelievethisnewmaidisthetreasurewe'vebeenlookingforsolong!"MuchinthesamewaythatAlicedreamedofamysteriousperfectmateforwhomshe"waited,"hermotherhadafairytheorythathiddensomewhereintheuniversetherewasthetreasure,theperfect"maid,"whowouldcomeandcookintheAdamses'kitchen,notfourdaysorfourweeks,butforever。
Thepresentincumbentwasnotshe。Alice,profoundlyinterestedherself,kepthermotherlikewisesopreoccupiedwiththedressthattheywerebutvaguelyconsciousofthegong'ssoftwarnings,thoughthesewererepeatedandprotractedunusually。Finallythesoundofaheartyvoice,independentandenraged,reachedthepair。Itcamefromthehallbelow。
"Isaysgoo'-BYE!"itcalled。"Da'ssall!"
Thenthefrontdoorslammed。
"Why,what——"Mrs。Adamsbegan。
Theywentdownhurriedlytofindout。MissPerryinformedthem。
"Icouldn'tmakeherlistentoreason,"shesaid。"Sherangthegongfourorfivetimesandgottotalkingtoherself;andthenshewentuptoherroomandpackedherbag。Itoldhershehadnobusinesstogooutthefrontdoor,anyhow。"
Mrs。Adamstookthenewsphilosophically。"IthoughtshehadsomethinglikethatinhereyewhenIpaidherthismorning,andI'mnotsurprised。Well,wewon'tletMr。Adamsknowanything'sthemattertillIgetanewone。"
Theyluncheduponwhatthelateincumbenthadleftchillingonthetable,andthenMrs。Adamspreparedtowashthedishes;shewould"havethemdoneinajiffy,"shesaid,cheerfully。ButitwasAlicewhowashedthedishes。
"IDON'Tliketohaveyoudothat,Alice,"hermotherprotested,followingherintothekitchen。"Itroughensthehands,andwhenagirlhashandslikeyours——"
"Iknow,mama。"Alicelookedtroubled,butshookherhead。"Itcan'tbehelpedthistime;you'llneedeveryminutetogetthatdressdone。"
Mrs。Adamswentawaylamenting,whileAlice,noexpert,begantosplashtheplatesandcupsandsaucersinthewarmwater。Afterawhile,assheworked,hereyesgrewdreamy:shewasmakinglittlegay-colouredpicturesofherself,unfoundedpropheciesofhowshewouldlookandwhatwouldhappentoherthatevening。
Shesawherself,charminganddemure,wearingafluffyidealizationofthedresshermothernowdeterminedlystruggledwithupstairs;shesawherselfframedinagarlandedarchway,theentrancetoaballroom,andsawthepeopleontheshiningfloorturningdramaticallytolookather;thenfromallpointsarushofyoungmenshoutingfordanceswithher;andsheconstructedasuperbstranger,tall,dark,masterfullysmiling,whoswungheroutoftheclamouringgroupasthemusicbegan。Shesawherselfdancingwithhim,sawthehalf-troubledsmileshewouldgivehim;
andsheaccuratelysmiledthatsmileassherinsedtheknivesandforks。
Thesehopefulfragmentsofdramawerenottoberealized,sheknew;butsheplayedthattheyweretrue,andwentoncreatingthem。Inallofthemsheworeorcarriedflowers——hermother'ssorrowforherinthisdetailbutmadeitthemoreimportant——
andshesawherselfglamorouswithorchids;discardedtheseforanarmfuloflong-stemmed,heavyroses;tossedthemawayforagreatbouquetofwhitecamellias;andsowandereddownalengtheninghothousegalleryoffloralbeauty,allcostlyandbeyondherreachexceptinsuchawistfulday-dream。Anduponherpresentwholehorizon,thoughshesearcheditearnestly,shecoulddiscovernofigureofasenderofflowers。
Outofherfanciesthedesireforflowerstowearthatnightemergeddefinitelyandbecamepoignant;shebegantofeelthatitmightbeparticularlyimportanttohavethem。"Thismightbethenight!"Shewasstillattheagetodreamthatthenightofanydancemaybethevitalpointindestiny。Nomatterhowcommonplaceordisappointingotherdancenightshavebeenthisonemaybringthegreatmeeting。Theunknownmagnificomaybethere。
Alicewasalmostunawareofherownreveriesinwhichthisbeingappeared——reveriesoftensotransitorythattheydevelopedandpassedinafewseconds。Andinsomeofthemthebeingwasnotwhollyastranger;thereweremomentswhenheseemedtobecomposedofrecognizablefragmentsofyoungmensheknew——asmileshehadliked,fromone;thefigureofanother,thehairofanother——andsometimesshethoughthemightbeconcealed,sotosay,withinthepersonofanactualacquaintance,someoneshehadneversuspectedofbeingtherightseekerforher,someonewhohadneversuspectedthatitwasshewho"waited"forhim。
Anythingmightrevealthemtoeachother:alook,aturnofthehead,asingularword——perhapssomeflowersuponherbreastorinherhand。
Shewipedthedishesslowly,concludingtheoperationbydroppingasaucerupontheflooranddreamilysweepingthefragmentsunderthestove。Shesighedandreplacedthebroomnearawindow,lettingherglancewanderoverthesmallyardoutside。Thegrass,repulsivelybesootedtothecolourofcoal-smokeallwinter,hadlatelycometolifeagainandnowsparkledwithgreen,inthemidstofwhichatinyshotofbluesuddenlyfixedherabsenteyes。Theyremaineduponitforseveralmoments,becominglessabsent。
Itwasaviolet。
Aliceranupstairs,putonherhat,wentoutdoorsandbegantosearchouttheviolets。Shefoundtwenty-two,abrightomen——sincethenumberwasthatofheryears——butnotenoughviolets。Therewerenomore;shehadransackedeveryfootoftheyard。
Shelookeddubiouslyatthelittlebunchinherhand,glancedatthelawnnextdoor,whichofferednofavourableprospect;thenwentthoughtfullyintothehouse,lefthertwenty-twovioletsinabowlofwater,andcamequicklyoutagain,herbrowmarkedwithafrownofdecision。Shewenttoatrolley-lineandtookacartotheoutskirtsofthecitywhereanewparkhadbeenopened。
Heresheresumedhersearch,butitwasnotaneasilyrewardedone,andforanhourafterherarrivalshefoundnoviolets。Shewalkedconscientiouslyoverthewholestretchofmeadow,hereyesrovingdiscontentedly;therewasneverabluedotinthegroomedexpanse;butatlast,asshecamenearthebordersofanoldgroveoftrees,leftuntouchedbythemunicipallandscapers,thelittleflowersappeared,andshebegantogatherthem。Shepickedthemcarefully,looseningtheearthroundeachtinyplant,soastobringtherootsupwithit,thatitmightlivethelonger;andshehadbroughtanapkin,whichshedrenchedatahydrant,andkeptlooselywrappedaboutthestemsofhercollection。
Theturfwastoodampforhertokneel;sheworkedpatiently,stoopingfromthewaist;andwhenshegothomeinadrizzleofrainatfiveo'clockherkneesweretremulouswithstrain,herbackached,andshewastiredallover,butshehadthreehundredviolets。HermothermoanedwhenAliceshowedthemtoher,fragrantinabasinofwater。
"Oh,youPOORchild!Tothinkofyourhavingto:worksohardtogetthingsthatothergirlsonlyneed;lifttheirlittlefingersfor!"
"Nevermind,"saidAlice,huskily。"I'vegot'emandIAMgoingtohaveagoodtimeto-night!"
"You'vejustgotto!"Mrs。Adamsagreed,intenselysympathetic。
"TheLordknowsyoudeserveto,afterpickingalltheseviolets,poorthing,andHewouldn'tbemeanenoughtokeepyoufromit。
ImayhavetogetdinnerbeforeIfinishthedress,butIcangetitdoneinafewminutesafterward,andit'sgoingtolookrightpretty。Don'tyouworryaboutTHAT!Andwithalltheselovelyviolets——"
"Iwonder——"Alicebegan,paused,thenwenton,fragmentarily:
"Isuppose——well,Iwonder——doyousupposeitwouldhavebeenbetterpolicytohavetoldWalterbefore——"
"No,"saidhermother。"Itwouldonlyhavegivenhimlongertogrumble。"
"Buthemight——"
"Don'tworry,"Mrs。Adamsreassuredher。"He'llbealittlecross,buthewon'tbestubborn;justletmetalktohimanddon'tyousayanythingatall,nomatterwhatHEsays。"
ThesereferencestoWalterconcernedsomenecessarymanoeuvreswhichtookplaceatdinner,andwereconductedbythemother,Alicehavingacceptedheradvicetositinsilence。Mrs。Adamsbeganbylaughingcheerfully。"IwonderhowmuchlongerittookmetocookthisdinnerthanitdoesWaltertoeatit?"shesaid。
"Don'tgobble,child!There'snohurry。"
IncontactwithhisownfamilyWalterwasnosquandererofwords。
第2章