Thereappearedanakedhandandanarm，fromtheelbowdown，beatinguponthefloortillthehousedidshakeagain。"TheFiendnextexclaimedthatifthecandlewereputouthewouldappearintheshapeofFireballs。"
Letitbeobservedthatnow，forthefirsttime，welearnthatallthesceneoccurredincandle-light。Theappearanceoffloatingballsoffireisfrequentifwemaybelievethecurrentreports
atspiritualisticseances。Butwhatastrange，ill-digestedtaleisMr。Sinclair's!Heletsslipanexpressionwhichshowsthattheinvestigatorswereinoneroom，theBut，whiletheFiendwasdivertinghimselfintheotherroom，theBen!TheFiendnobodygoingBennextchaffedagentlemanwhoworeafashionablebroad-
brimmedhat，"whereuponhepresentlyimaginedthathefeltapairofshearsgoingabouthishat，"buttherewasnosuchmatter。Thevoiceaskedforapieceofbread，whichtheotherswereeating，andsaidthemaidgavehimacrustinthemorning。Thisshedenied，butadmittedthatsomethinghad"clicked"apieceofbreadoutofherhand。
Theseanceended，theDevilslappingasafeportionofthechildren'sbodies，withasoundresemblingapplause。Aftermanymonthsofthisreallyannoyingconduct，poorCampbelllaidhiscasebeforethePresbyters，in1655，thirtyyearsbeforethedateofpublication。Soa"solemnhumiliation"wasactuallyheldallthroughtheboundsofthesynod。ButtolittlepurposedidGlenlucesitinsackclothandashes。Thegoodwife'splatewassnatchedawaybeforeherveryeyes，andthenthrownbackather。
Insimilar"stirs，"describedbyaCatholicmissionaryinPerusoonafterPizarro'sconquest，thecupofanIndianchiefwasliftedupbyaninvisiblehand，andsetdownempty。Inthatcase，too，stoneswerethrown，asbytheDevilofGlenluce。
Andwhatwastheendofitall？Mr。Sinclairhasnoteventakenthetroubletoinquire。Itseemsbysomeconjurationorother，theDevilsufferedhimselftobeputaway，andgavetheweaverahabitation。Theweaver"hasbeenaveryOddmanthatenduredsolongthesemarvellousdisturbances。"
ThisisthetalewhichMr。Sinclairoffers，withoutmentioninghisauthority。HecomplainsthatDr。HenryMorehadplagiarisedit，fromhisbookofHydrostatics。Twopointsmayberemarked。First:
modernPsychicalInquirersaremoreparticularaboutevidencethanMr。Sinclair。Notfornothingdoweliveinanageofscience。
Next:thestoriesofthese"stirs"arealwaysmuchthesameeverywhere，inGlenluce，atTedworth，wheretheDrummercame，inPeru，inWesley'shouse，inheroicIceland，whenGlam，thevampire，"rodetheroofs。"Itiscurioustospeculateonhowthetraditionofmakingthemselveslittlenuisancesinthisparticularmannerhasbeenhandeddownamongchildren，ifwearetosupposethatchildrendothetrick。Lastautumnafarmer'shouseinScotlandwasannoyedexactlyastheweaver'shomewas，andthatwithinaquarterofamileofawell-knownmanofscience。Themattressofthefatherwastenantedbysomethingthatwriggledlikeasnake。Themattresswasopened，nothingwasfound，andthedisturbancebeganagainassoonasthebedwasrestoredtoitsplace。Thisoccurredwhenthefarmer'schildrenhadbeensenttoadistance。
Onecannotbutbeperplexedbytheproblemwhichthesetalessuggest。Almostbareofevidenceastheyare，theirgreatnumber，theirwidediffusion，inmanycountriesandintimesancientandmodern，mayestablishsomesubstratumoftruth。Scottmentionsacaseinwhichtheimposturewasdetectedbyasheriff'sofficer。
Butarecentanecdotemakesmealmostdistrustthedetection。
SomeEnglishpeople，havingtakenacountryhouseinIreland，werevexedbytheusualrappings，stone-throwings，andalltherestofthebusiness。TheysenttoDublinfortwodetectives，whoarrived。
Ontheirfirstnight，theladyofthehousewentintoaroom，whereshefoundoneofthepolicemenasleepinhischair。Beingalivelyperson，sherappedtwiceorthriceonthetable。Heawakened，andsaid:"Ah，soIsuspected。Itwashardlyworthwhile，madam，tobringussofarforthis。"Andnextdaytheworthymenwithdrewindudgeon，butquiteconvincedthattheyhaddiscoveredtheagentinthehauntings。
Buttheyhadnot!
Ontheotherhand，Scottwhohadseenoneghost，ifnottwo，andhadhearda"warning"statesthatMissAnneRobinsonmanagedtheStockwelldisturbancesbytyinghorsehairstoplatesandlightarticles，whichthendemeanedthemselvesasifpossessed。
Herewehaveveracausa，ademonstrablecauseof"stirs，"anditmaybeinferredthatalltheotherhistoricaloccurrenceshadasimilarorigin。Wehave，then，onlytobeinterestedinthepersistenttradition，inaccordancewithwhichmischievouspersonsalwaysdoexactlythesamesortofthing。Butthisisamereexampleoftheidentityofhumannature。
ItiscurioustoseehowMr。SinclairplumeshimselfonthisDevilofGlenluceasa"moliminousrampier"againstirreligion。"ThisoneRelationisworthallthepricethatcanbegivenfortheBook。"ThepriceIhavegivenforthevolumeisTenGoldenGuineas，andperhapstheFoulThiefofGlenluceishardlyworththemoney。
"IbelieveiftheObdurestAtheistamongmenwouldseriouslyandingoodearnestconsiderthatrelation，andponderallthecircumstancesthereof，hewouldpresentlycryout，asaDr。ofPhysickdid，hearingastorylessconsiderable，'IbelieveIhavebeeninthewrongallthetime——ifthisbetrue。'"
Mr。SinclairisalsoabelieverintheWoodstockdevils，onwhichScottfoundedhisnovel。HedoesnotgivetheexplanationthatGilesSharp，aliasJosephCollinsofOxford，aliasFunnyJoe，wasalltheDevilinthataffair。ScotthadreadthestoryofFunnyJoe，butcouldneverremember"whetheritexistsinaseparatecollection，orwhereitistobelookedfor。"
Indifferenttoevidence，Mr。SinclairconfutestheObdurestAtheistswiththePiedPiperofHamelin，withtheyoungladyfromHowells'"Letters，"whosehouse，likeRahab's，was"onthecitywall，"andwiththeghostoftheMajorwhoappearedtotheCaptainashehadpromised，andscoldedhimfornotkeepinghisswordclean。HealsogivesusMajorWeir，atfulllength，convincingusthat，asWilliamErskinesaid，"TheMajorwasadisgustingfellow，amostungentlemanlikecharacter。"Scott，ontheotherhand，remarked，longbefore"Waverley，""ifIeverweretobecomeawriterofproseromances，IthinkIwouldchooseMajorWeir，ifnotformyhero，atleastforanagentandaleadingone，inmyproduction。"HeadmittedthatthestreetwheretheMajorlivedwashauntedbyawoman"twicethecommonlength，""butwhyshouldwesethimdownforanungentlemanlyfellow？"ReadersofMr。Sinclairwillunderstandthereasonverywell，anditisnotnecessary，norhereevenpossible，tojustifyErskine'sopinionbyquotations。
Sufficeitthat，byvirtueofhisenchantedstaff，whichwasburnedwithhim，theMajorwasenabled"tocommitevilnottobenamed，yea，eventoreconcilemanandwifewhenatvariance。"Hissister，whowashanged，hadRedgauntlet'shorse-shoemarkonherbrow，andonemaymarvelthatScottdoesnotseemtohaverememberedthiscoincidence。"TherewasseenanexactHorse-shoe，shapedfornails，inherwrinkles。Terribleenough，Iassureyou，tothestoutestbeholder!"
MostmodernreaderswillbelievethatboththelucklessMajorandhissisterwerereligiousmaniacs。Poverty，solitude，andthesuperstitionoftheirtimewerethetruedemonofMajorWeir，burnedatthestakeinApril1670。Perhapsthemostsingularimpressionmadeby"Satan'sInvisibleWorldDiscovered"isthatinSinclair'sday，peoplewhodidnotbelieveinbogiesbelievedinnothing，whilepeoplewhosharedthecommoncreedofChristendomwerecapableofbelievingineverything。
Atheistsareascommonasghostsinhismarvellousrelations，andtheverywizardsthemselveswereoftenAtheists。
NOTE——IhavesaidthatScotthimselfhadseenoneghost，ifnottwo，andhearda"warning。"TheghostwasseennearAshestiel，onanopenspotofhillside，"pleasetoobserveitwasbeforedinner。"
TheanecdoteisinGillis's，"RecollectionsofSirWalterScott，"
p。170。ThevisionofLordByronstandinginthegreathallofAbbotsfordisdescribedinthe"DemonologyandWitchcraft。"Scottallegesthatitresolveditselfinto"greatcoats，shawls，andplaids"——ahallucination。ButLockhartremarks"Life，"ix。p。
141thathedidnotcaretohavethecircumstancediscussedingeneral。The"stirs"inAbbotsfordduringthenightwhenhisarchitect，Bullock，diedinLondon，areinLockhart，v。pp。309-
315。"Thenoiseresembledhalf-a-dozenmenhardatworkputtingupboardsandfurniture，andnothingcanbemorecertainthanthattherewasnobodyonthepremisesatthetime。"Thenoise，unluckily，occurredtwice，April28and29，1818，andLockhartdoesnottellusonwhichofthesetwonightsMr。Bullockdied。Suchisthecasualnessofghoststory-tellers。LockhartaddsthatthecoincidencemadeastrongimpressiononSirWalter'smind。Hedidnotcaretoascertainthepointinhisownmentalconstitution"whereincredulitybegantowaver，"accordingtohisfriend，Mr。J。
L。Adolphus。
CHAPTERXVII:THEBOY
Asahumblestudentofsavagelife，Ihavefounditnecessarytomakeresearchesintothemannersandcustomsofboys。Boysarenotwhatavainpeoplesupposes。Ifyoumeetthemintheholidays，youfindthemaffableandfullofkindnessandgoodqualities。Theywillcondescendtoyourweaknessatlawn-tennis，theywillaidyouinyourselectionoffly-hooks，and，tobebrief，willbehavewithmuchmorethanthecivilityoftameZulusorRedMenonamissionarysettlement。Butboysatschoolandamongthemselves，lefttothewildjusticeandtraditionallawswhichmanygenerationsofboyshaveevolved，areentirelydifferentbeings。
TheyresemblethatPolynesianprincewhohadrejectedtheerrorsofpolytheismforthoseofanextremesectofPrimitiveSeceders。Forweeksatatimethisprincewasknowntobe"steady，"buteverymonthorsohedisappeared，andhissubjectssaidhewas"lyingoff。"ToadoptanAmericanidiom，he"feltlikebrandyandwater"；
healso"feltlike"wearingnoclothes，andgenerallyrejectinghisnewconceptionsofdutyanddecency。Infact，hehadagoodboutofsavagery，andthenhereturnedtohistallhat，hisvarnishedboots，hishymn-book，andhisedifyingprinciples。Thelifeofsmallboysatschoolbeforetheygetintolong-tailedcoatsandtheupper-fifthisoftenamerecourseof"lying-off"——ofrelapseintonativesavagerywithitslawsandcustoms。
Ifanyonehassofarforgottenhisownboyhoodastothinkthisdescriptionexaggerated，lethimjustfancywhatourcomfortablecivilisedlifewouldbe，ifwecouldbecomeboysincharacterandcustom。Letussupposethatyouareelectedtoanewclub，ofwhichmostofthemembersarestrangerstoyou。Youenterthedoorsforthefirsttime，whentwooldermembers，whohavebeengossipinginthehall，pounceuponyouwiththeexclamation，"Hullo，here'sanewfellow!Youfellow，what'syourname？"Youreply，letussay，"Johnson。""Idon'tbelieveit，it'ssucharumname。What'syourfather？"Perhapsyouareconstrainedtoanswer"aDuke"ormoreprobably"asolicitor。"Intheformercaseyourfriendsboundupintothesmoking-room，howling，"Here'sanewfellowsayshisfatherisaDuke。Let'stakethecheekoutofhim。"Andthey"takeitout"withumbrellas，slippers，andothersurgicalinstruments。Or，inthelattercaseyourparentbeingasolicitortheyreply，"Thenyourfathermustbeabeastlycad。
Allsolicitorsaresharks。MYfathersaysso，andheknows。Howmanysistershaveyou？"Thenewmemberanswers，"Four。""Anyofthemmarried？""No。""Howawfullyawkwardforyou。"
Bythistime，perhaps，luncheonisready，ortheeveningpaperscomein，andyouarereleasedforamoment。Yousneakupintothelibrary，whereyounaturallyexpecttobeentirelyalone，andyousettleonasofawithanovel。Butanoldmemberburstsintotheroom，spiesanewfellow，andputshimthroughtheusualcatechism。
Heendswith，"Howmuchtinhaveyougot？"Youanswer"twentypounds，"orwhateverthesummaybe，forperhapsyouhadcontemplatedplayingwhist。"Verywell，forkitout；youmustgiveadinner，allnewfellowsmust，andYOUarenotgoingtobeginbybeingastingybeast？"Thusaddressed，asyourfriendisabigbaldman，wholooksmischievous，youdo"forkout"allyourreadymoney，andyournewfriendgoesofftoconsultthecook。Meanwhileyou"shedabloomingtear，"asHomersays，andgohomeheart-
broken。Now，doesanygrown-upmancallthisstateofsocietycivilisation？Wouldlifebeworthlivingwhateverone'sreligiousconsolationsontheseterms？Ofcoursenot，andyetthispictureisanotoverdrawnsketchofthecareerofsomenewboy，atsomeschoolsneworold。Theexistenceofasmallschoolboyis，inotherrespects，notunlikethatofanoutsiderinalawless"Brotherhood，"astheIrishplayfullycalltheirmurderclubs。
ThesmallboyisINthesociety，butnotOFit，asfarasanybenefitsgo。HehastofieldoutandIadmitthatthedisciplineissalutarywhileotherboysbat。Otherboyscommitthefaults，andcompelhimtocopyouttheimpositions——sayfivehundredlinesofVirgil——withwhichtheirsinsarevisited。Otherboysenjoythepleasuresoffootball，whilethesmallboyhastorunvaguelyabout，neverwithinfiveyardsoftheball。Bigboysreapthegloriesofpaperchases，thesmallboygetslostinthebitterweather，ontheopenmoors，orperhapsasinonehistoricalcase
isfrozentodeathwithinameasurabledistanceoftheschoolplayground。Andtheworstofitisthat，asamemberofthegreatschoolsecretsociety，thesmallboycannevercomplainofhiswrongs，ordivulgethenameofhistormentors。Itisinthisrespectthatheresemblesaharmlessfellow，draggedintothecoilsofanAnarchist"InnerBrotherhood。"Heisexposedtoallsortsofwrongsfromhisneighbours，andhecanonlyescapebyturning"informer，"bybreakingthemostsacredlawofhissociety，losingallsocialstatus，and，probably，obliginghisparentstoremovehimfromschool。Lifeatschool，asamongtheCelticpeoples，turnsonthebeliefthatlawandauthorityarenaturalenemies，againstwhicheveryoneisbanded。
Thechapterofbullyingamongboysisoneonwhichamanenterswithreluctance。Boysare，onthewhole，suchgoodfellows，andsofulloffineunsophisticatedqualities，thatthematuremindwouldgladlyturnawayitseyesfrombeholdingtheiriniquities。Evenacruelbullydoesnotinevitablyandinvariablydevelopintoabadman。Heis，letushope，onlypassingthroughthesavagestage，inwhichthetortureofprisonersisarecognisedinstitution。Hehas，perhaps，toolittleimaginationtounderstandthepainhecauses。Veryoftenbullyingisnotphysicallycruel，butonlyapervertedsortofhumour，suchasKingsley，in"Hypatia，"
recognisedamonghisfavouriteGoths。Irememberafeeblefoolishboyatschoolfeeblehecertainlywas，andwasthoughtfoolish
whobecamethesubjectofmuchhumorousbullying。Hiscompanionsusedtotieathinthreadroundhisear，andattachthistoabaratsuchaheightthathecouldonlyavoidbreakingitbystandingontiptoe。Buthewastoldthathemustnotbreakthethread。Toavoidinfringingthiscommandment，heputhimselftoconsiderableinconvenienceandaffordedmuchenjoymenttothespectators。
Menofmiddleage，ratherearlymiddleage，rememberthetwofollowingspeciesofbullyingtowhichtheyweresubjected，andwhich，perhaps，areobsolescent。Tallstoolswerepiledupinapyramid，andthevictimwasseatedonthetop，neartheroofoftheroom。Theothersavagesbroughthimdownfromthisbademinencebyhurlingotherstoolsatthosewhichsupportedhim。Orthevictimwasmadetoplacehishandsagainstthedoor，withthefingersoutstretched，whiletheyoungtormentorsplayedattheChineseknife-trick。Theythrewknives，thatistosay，atthedoorbetweentheaperturesofthefingers，and，asarule，theyhitthefingersandnotthedoor。ThesediversionsIknowtobecorrectlyreported，butthefollowingprettystoryis，perhaps，amyth。Atoneofthemostfamouspublicschools，apraepostor，ormonitor，orsixth-formboyhavingauthority，heardapistol-shotintheroomabovehisown。Hewentupandfoundabigboyandalittleboy。
Theydeniedhavinganypistol。Themonitorreturnedtohisstudies，againwassureheheardashot，wentup，andfoundthelittleboydead。ThebigboyhadbeenplayingtheWilliamTelltrickwithhim，andhadhithisheadinsteadoftheapple。Thatisthelegend。Whetheritbetrueorfalse，allboyswillagreethatthelittlevictimcouldnothaveescapedbycomplainingtothemonitor。No。Deathbeforedishonour。Butthesidenotsoseamyofthispictureofschoollifeistheextraordinarypowerofhonouramongboys。Ofcoursethelawsofthesecretsocietymightwellterrifyapuerileinformer。Butthesentimentofhonourisevenmorestrongthanfear，andwillprobablyoutlasttheverydisagreeablecircumstancesinwhichitwasdeveloped。
Peoplesaybullyingisnotwhatitusedtobe。Themuchabusedmonitorialsystemhasthisinitofgood，thatitenablesacleverandkindlyboywhoishighupintheschooltostopthecrueltiesifhehearsofthemofamuchbiggerboywhoislowintheschool。Butheseldomhearsofthem。Habitualbulliesareverycunning，andIamacquaintedwithinstancesinwhichtheycarrytheirvictimsofftolonelytorturecellssotospeakanddesertedplacesfitforthesport。Someyearsagoasmallboy，afteralongcourseofrope's-endinginout-of-the-waydens，revealedtheabominationsofsomenavalcadets。Therewasnotmuchsympathywithhiminthepublicmind，andperhapshiscasewasnotwellmanaged。Butitwasmadeclearthatwhereasamongmenanunpopularpersonisonlyspokenevilofbehindhisback，anunpopularsmallboyamongboysismadetosufferinamoredirectandveryunpleasantway。
Mostofusleaveschoolwiththeimpressionthattherewasagooddealofbullyingwhenwewerelittle，butthattheinstitutionhasdiedout。Thetruthisthatwehavegrowntoobigtobebullied，andtoogood-naturedtobullyourselves。WhenIleftschool，I
thoughtbullyingwasanextinctart，likeencausticpaintingbeforeitwasrediscoveredbySirWilliamRichmond。Butadistinguishedwriter，whowasasmallboywhenIwasabigone，hassincerevealedtomethemostabominablecrueltieswhichwerebeingpractisedattheverymomentwhenIsupposedbullyingtohavehaditsdayandceasedtobe。Now，thesmallboyneedonlyhavementionedthecircumstancestoanyoneofascoreofbigboys，andthetormentorwouldhavebeenfirstthrashed，andthen，probably，expelled。
Afriendofmyownwastravellinglatelyinawildandhillyregionontheothersideoftheworld，letussayintheMountainsoftheMoon。Inamountaintavernhehadthrustuponhimthesocietyofthecook，averyuselessyoungman，whoastonishedhimbyreferencestooneofouruniversities，andtotheenjoymentsofthatseatoflearning。Thisyouthwhowasmadecook，andaverybadcooktoo，becausehecoulddonothingelsehadbeenexpelledfromalargeEnglishschool。Andhewasexpelledbecausehehadfelledabullywithapaving-stone，andhadexpressedhisreadinesstodoitagain。Now，therewasnodoubtthatthiscookinthemountaininnwasaveryunserviceableyoungfellow。ButIwishmoreboyswhohavesufferedthingsliterallyunspeakablefrombullieswouldtrywhetherforceintheformofapavingstoneisreallynoremedy。
TheCatholicauthorofarecentbook"Schools，"byLieut-Col。
RaleighChichester，isveryhardon"ProtestantSchools，"andthinksthattheCatholicsystemofconstantwatchingisaremedyforbullyingandotherevils。"Swing-doorswiththeirupperhalfglazed，mighthavetheiruses，"hesays，andhedoesnotseewhyaboyshouldnotbepermittedtocomplain，ifheisroasted，likeTomBrown，beforealargefire。TheboysatoneCatholicschooldescribedbyColonelRaleighChichester，"areneverwithoutsurveillanceofsomesort。"ThisistrueofmostFrenchschools，andanyonewhowishestounderstandtheconsequencestheremayreadthepublishedconfessionsofapion——anusher，or"spy。"A
moredegradedanddegradinglifethanthatofthewretchedpion，itisimpossibletoimagine。InanEnglishprivateschool，thesystemofespionnageandtalebearing，whenitexists，isprobablynotunlikewhatMr。AnsteydescribesinViceVersa。ButintheCatholicschoolsspokenofbyColonelRaleighChichester，thesurveillancemaybe，ashesays，"thatofaparent；anaidtotheboysintheirgamesratherthanacheck。"ThereligiousquestionasbetweenCatholicsandProtestantshasnoessentialconnectionwiththesubject。AProtestantschoolmight，andGrimstone'sdid，havetale-bearers；possiblyaCatholicschoolmightexistwithoutparentalsurveillance。Thatsystemiscalledbyitsfoesa"police，"byitsfriendsa"paternal"system。Butfathersdon'texercisethe"paternal"systemthemselvesinthiscountry，andwemaytakeitforgrantedthat，whileEnglishsocietyandreligionareastheyare，surveillanceatourlargeschoolswillbeimpossible。Ifanyoneregretsthis，lethimreadthedescriptionsofFrenchschoolsandschooldays，inBalzac'sLouisLambert，inthe"Memoirs"ofM。MaximeduCamp，inanybookwhereaFrenchmanspeakshismindabouthisyouth。Hewillfindspyingofcourse
amongtheushers，contemptandhatredonthesideoftheboys，unwholesomeandcruelpunishments，atotallackofhealthyexercise；andhewillhearofholidaysspentinprematureexcursionsintoforbiddenandshadyquartersofthetown。
Nodoubtthebestsecurityagainstbullyingisinconstantoccupation。TherecanhardlyinspiteofMasterGeorgeOsborne'sexperiencein"VanityFair"bemuchbullyinginanopencricket-
field。Bigboys，too，withgoodhearts，shouldnotonlystopbullyingwhentheycomeacrossit，butmakeittheirbusinesstofindoutwhereitexists。Existitwill，moreorless，despiteallprecautions，whileboysareboys——thatis，arepassingthroughamodifiedformofthesavagestate。
Thereisacuriousfactintheboyishcharacterwhichseems，atfirstsight，tomakegoodtheopinionthatprivateeducation，athome，isthetruemethod。Beforetheygooutintoschoollife，manylittlefellowsofnine，orso，areextremelyoriginal，imaginative，andalmostpoetical。Theyarefondofbooks，fondofnature，and，ifyoucanwintheirconfidence，willtellyouallsortsofprettythoughtsandfancieswhichlieaboutthemintheirinfancy。Ihaveknownalittleboywholikedtolieonthegrassandtopeoplethealleysandgladesofthatminiatureforestwithfairiesanddwarfs，whomheseemedactuallytoseeinakindofvision。Buthewenttoschool，heinstantlywonthehundredyardsraceforboysundertwelve，andhecamebackayoungbarbarian，interestedin"thetheoryoftouch"atfootball，curiousintheartofbowling，andnomorecapablethanyouorIofseeingfairiesinagreenmeadow。Hewascaughtupintotheairoftheboy'sworld，andhisimaginationwasinabeyanceforaseason。
Thisisacommonenoughthing，andratheramelancholyspectacletobehold。Oneistemptedtobelievethatschoolcausesthelossofagooddealofgenius，andthatthesmallboyswholeavehomepoets，andcomebackbarbarians，havebeenwasted。But，ontheotherhand，iftheyhadbeenkeptathomeandencouraged，thechancesarethattheywouldhaveblossomedintoinfantphenomenaandnothingbetter。TheawfulinfancyofMr。JohnStuartMillisastandingwarning。Mr。Millwouldprobablyhavebeenamuchhappierandwisermanifhehadnotbeenaprecociouslinguist，economist，andphilosopher，buthadpassedthroughahealthystageofindifferencetolearningandspeculationatapublicschool。Lookagain，atthechildhoodofBishopThirlwall。HisPrimitiaewerepublishedbySamuelTipper，London，1808，whenyoungConnopwasbutelevenyearsofage。Hisindiscreetfather"launchedthisslenderbark，"
ashesays，anditsailedthroughthreeeditionsbetween1808and1809。YoungThirlwallwastaughtLatinatthreeyearsofage，"andatfourreadGreekwithaneaseandfluencywhichastonishedallwhoheardhim。"Atsevenhecomposedanessay，"OntheUncertaintyofHumanLife，"but"histasteforpoetrywasnotdiscoveredtillalaterperiod。"Hissermons，someforty，occupymostofthelittlevolumeinwhichthesePrimitiaewerecollected。
HewasespeciallyconcernedaboutSabbathdesecration。"I
confess，"observesthissageoften，"whenIlookuponthepresentandpaststateofourpublicmorals，andwhenIcontrastourpresentluxury，dissipation，anddepravity，withpastfrugalityandvirtue，Ifeelnotmerelyasensationofregret，butalsoofterror，fortheresultofthechange。""ThelateRevolutioninFrance，"headds，"hasaffordedusaremarkablelessonhownecessaryreligionistoaState，andthatfromadeficiencyonthatheadarisethechiefevilswhichcanbefallsociety。"Hethenbidsus"rememberthattheNebuchadnezzarwhomaydestroyourIsraelisnearathand，"thoughitmightbedifficulttoshowhowNebuchadnezzardestroyedIsrael。
Astotheuncertaintyoflife，heremarksthat"EdwardVI。diedinhisminority，anddisappointedhissubjects，towhomhehadpromisedahappyreign。"Ofthisinfant'sthirty-ninesermonsjustasmanyastheArticles，itmaybesaidthattheyareinnowayinferiortootherexamplesofthisclassofliterature。Butsermonsareamongtheleast"scarce"and"rare"ofhumanessays，andmanyparentswouldratherseetheirboypatientlyacquiringtheartofwicket-keepingatschoolthanmoralisingontheuncertaintyoflifeathome。Someone"havingpresentedtotheyoungauthoracopyofversesonthetriteandfamiliarsubjectofthePloughboy，"
herepliedwithanodeon"ThePotboy。"
"Blissisnotalwaysjoin'dtowealth，NordwellsbeneaththegildedroofForpovertyisblisswithhealth，Ofthatmypotboystandsaproof。"
Thevolumeendswiththisdetermination，"StillshallIseekApollo'sshelt'ringray，Tocheermyspiritsandinspiremylay。"
IfanyparentorguardiandesiresanyfurtherinformationaboutLesEnfansdevenuscelebresparleursecrits，hewillfinditinaworkofthatname，publishedinParisin1688。ThelearnedScioppiuspublishedworksatsixteen，"whichdeserved"andperhapsobtained
"theadmirationofdotards。"M。DuMaurierassertsthat，attheageoffifteen，GrotiuspleadedcausesattheBar。AtelevenMeursiusmadeorationsandharangueswhichweremuchadmired。Atfifteen，AlexandreleJeunewroteanacreonticverses，andlessexcusablyacommentaryontheInstitutionsofGaius。Grevinpublishedatragedyandtwocomediesattheageofthirteen，andatfifteenLouisStellawasaprofessorofGreek。ButnoonereadsGrevinnow，norStella，norAlexandreleJeune，andperhapstheirtimemighthavebeenbetteroccupiedinbeing"soaringhumanboys"
thanincomposingtragediesandcommentaries。MonsieurleDucdeMainepublished，in1678，hisOEuvresd'unAuteurdeSeptAns，aroyalexampletobeavoidedbyallboys。TheseandseveralscoreofotherexamplesmayperhapsreconcileustothespectacleofpuerilegeniusfadingawayintheexistenceofthecommonBritishschoolboy，whoisnothingofapoet，andstilllessofajurisconsult。
TheBritishauthorswhounderstandboysbestarenotthosewhohavewrittenbooksexclusivelyaboutboys。ThereisCanonFarrar，forexample，whoseromancesofboyishlifeappeartobeverypopular，butwhoseboys，somehow，arenotrealboys。Theyaretoogoodwhentheyaregood，andwhentheyarebad，theyarenotperhapstoobadthatisimpossible，buttheyarebadinthewrongway。Theyarebadwithamannishandconsciousvice，whereasevenbadboysseemtosinlessconsciouslyandafteraferociousfashionoftheirown。
Oftheboysin"TomBrown"itisdifficulttospeak，becausetheRugbyboyunderArnoldseemstohavebeenofapeculiarspecies。A
contemporarypupilwasasked，whenanundergraduate，whatheconceivedtobethepeculiarcharacteristicofRugbyboys。Hesaid，aftermaturereflection，that"thedifferentiaoftheRugbyboywashismoralthoughtfulness。"Nowthecharacteristicoftheordinaryboyishiswantofwhatiscalledmoralthoughtfulness。
Helivesinsimpleobediencetoschooltraditions。Thesemaycompelhim，atoneschool，tospeakinapeculiarlanguage，andtopersecuteandbeatallboyswhoareslowatlearningthislanguage。
Atanotherschoolhemayregarddislikeofthemanlygameoffootballasthesinwithwhich"heavenheadsthecountofcrimes。"
OnthewholethisnotionseemsausefulprotestagainsttheprematurelyartisticbeingswhofilltheirstudieswithphotographsofGreekfragments，vases，etchingsbythenewestetcher，bitsofChina，Orientalrugs，andverycuriousoldbrasscandlesticks。The"challengecup"soonpassesawayfromthekeepingofanyhouseinapublicschoolwhereBunthorneisapopularandimitatedcharacter。
Butwhenwereachaestheticboys，wepassoutofthesavagestageintohobbledehoyhood。Thebiggerboysatpublicschoolsareoftenterribly"advanced，"andwhentheyarenotatworkorplay，theyarevexingthemselveswiththeriddleoftheearth，evolution，agnosticism，andallthatkindofthing。Latinversesmaynotbewhatconservativesfondlydeemthem，andevencricketmay，itissaid，becometooabsorbingapursuit，buteitherorbotharebetterthanprecociousfreethinkingandsacrificeonthealtaroftheBeautiful。
AbigboywhoistacklingHaeckelorcomposingvirelaisinplaytimeisdoinghimselfnogood，andisworsethanuselesstothesocietyofwhichheisamember。Thesmallboys，whoarethemostardentofhero-worshippers，eitherdespisehimortheyallowhimtoaddresstheminchansonsroyaux，andrespondwithtreblesintriolets。Atpresentagreatmanyboysleaveschool，passthreeyearsorfourattheuniversities，andgobackasmasterstotheplacewheresomeoftheiroldschoolfellowsarestillpupils。Itisthroughtheseveryyoungmasters，perhaps，that"advanced"
speculationsandtastesgetintoschools，where，howeverexcellentinthemselves，theyareratheroutofplace。Indeed，theveryyoungmaster，thoughusuallyearnestinhiswork，mustbeasageindeedifhecanavoidtalkingtotheelderboysabouttheproblemsthatinteresthim，andsoforcingtheirmindsintoprecociousattitudes。TheadvantageofEtonboysusedtobe，perhapsisstill，thattheycameuptocollegeabsolutelydestituteof"ideas，"andguiltlessofreadinganythingmoremodernthanVirgil。
Thustheirintellectswerequitefallow，andtheymadeastonishingprogresswhentheybenttheirfreshandunweariedmindstostudy。
Buttoomanyboysnowleaveschoolwithsettledopinionsderivedfromtheverylatestthingout，fromthenewestGermanpessimistorAmericansocialist。Itmay，however，bearguedthatideasofthesesortsarelikemeasles，andthatitisbettertotakethemearlyandbedonewiththemforever。
WhileschoolsarereformedandLatingrammarsoftheutmostingenuityanddifficultyarepublished，boysonthewholechangeverylittle。TheyremainthebeingswhomThackerayunderstoodbetterthananyotherwriter:Thackeray，wholikedboyssomuchandwassolittleblindtotheirdefects。Ithinkheexaggeratestheirhabitoflyingtomasters，or，iftheyliedinhisday，theircharacterhasalteredinthatrespect，andtheyaremoretruthfulthanmanymenfinditexpedienttobe。Andtheyhavegivenupfighting；theoldbattlesbetweenBerryandBiggs，orDobbinandCuffmajorarethingsofthegloriouspast。Bigboysdon'tfight，andthereisawhisperthatlittleboyskickeachother'sshinswheninwrath。Thatpracticecanhardlybecalledanimprovement，evenifwedonotcareforfisticuffs。Perhapstheglovesarethebestpeacemakersatschool。Whenalltheboys，bypracticeinboxing，knowprettywellwhomtheycaninafriendlywaylick，theyarelesstemptedtomorecrucialexperiments"withoutthegloves。"
Buteventheascertainmentofone'srelativemeritswiththegloveshurtsagooddeal，andonemaythankheaventhatthefountainofyouthasdescribedbyPontusdeTyardeisnotacommonbeverage。
Bydrinkingthisliquid，saystheoldFrenchman，oneisinsensiblybroughtbackfromoldtomiddleage，andtoyouthandboyhood。Butonewouldprefertostopdrinkingofthefountainbeforeactuallybeingreducedtoboy'sestate，andpassingoncemorethroughthetumultuousexperiencesofthatperiod。Andofthese，NOTHAVING
ENOUGHTOEATisbynomeanstheleastcommon。Theevidenceastoexecrabledinnersisratherdispiriting，andonemayendbysayingthatifthereisaworsefellowthanabully，itisamasterwhodoesnotseethathisboysaresuppliedwithplentyofwholesomefood。He，atleast，couldnotventure，likeadistinguishedheadmaster，topreachandpublishsermonson"Boys'Life:itsFulness。"Aschoolmasterwhohasboardersisahotel-keeper，andtherebymakeshisincome，butheneednotkeepahotelwhichwouldbedispraisedinguidebooks。Dinnersareabranchofschooleconomywhichshouldnotbelefttothewivesofschoolmasters。