said:'WecannotgotothatSheshaheliplacewithoutahundredrifles。Wehaveherefive。'TheHajjisaid:'Ihaveuntiedasknotinmyhead-handkerchiefwhichwillbemoretousthanathousand。'Isawthathehadsolooseditthatitlayflagwiseonhisshoulder。ThenIknewthathewasaGreatOnewithvirtueinhim。
　　"WecametothehighlandsoftheSheshahelionthedawnofthesecondday——aboutthetimeofthestirringofthecoldwind。TheHajjiwalkeddelicatelyacrosstheopenplacewheretheirfilthis，andscratcheduponthegatewhichwasshut。WhenitopenedI
　　sawtheman-eaterslyingontheircotsundertheeavesofthehuts。Theyrolledoff:theyroseup，onebehindtheotherthelengthofthestreet，andthefearontheirfaceswasasleaveswhiteningtoabreeze。TheHajjistoodinthegateguardinghisskirtsfromdefilement。TheHajjisaid:'Iamhereonceagain。
　　Givemesixandyokeup。'Theyzealouslythenpushedtouswithpolessix，andyokedthemwithaheavytree。TheHajjithensaid:
　　"Fetchfirefromthemorninghearth，andcometowindward。'Thewindisstrongonthoseheadlandsatsunrise，sowheneachhademptiedhiscrockoffireinfrontofthatwhichwasbeforehim，thebroadsideofthetownroaredintoflame，andallwent。TheHajjithensaid:'Attheendofatimetherewillcomeherethewhitemanyeoncechasedforsport。Hewilldemandlabourtoplantsuchandsuchstuff。Yearethatlabour，andyourspawnafteryou。'Theysaid，liftingtheirheadsaverylittlefromtheedgeoftheashes:'Wearethatlabour，andourspawnafterus。'
　　TheHajjisaid:'Whatisalsomyname？'Theysaid:'ThynameisalsoTheMerciful'TheHajjisaid:'Praisethenmymercy'；andwhiletheydidthis，theHajjiwalkedaway，Ifollowing。"
　　TheInfantmadesomenoiseinhisthroat，andreachedformoreBurgundy。
　　"Aboutnoononeofoursixfelldead。FrightonlyfrightsSahib!
　　Nonehad——nonecould——touchhim。Sincetheywereinpairs，andtheotheroftheForkwasmadandsangfoolishly，wewaitedforsomeheathentodowhatwasneedful。TherecameatlastAngarimenwithgoats。TheHajjisaid:'Whatdoyesee？Theysaid:'Oh，ourLord，weneitherseenorhear。'TheHajjisaid:'ButI
　　commandyetoseeandtohearandtosay。'Theysaid:'Oh，ourLord，itistoourcommandedeyesasthoughslavesstoodinaFork。'TheHajjisaid:'SotestifybeforetheofficerwhowaitsyouinthetownofDupe。'Theysaid:'Whatshallcometousafter？'TheHajjisaid:'Thejustrewardfortheinformer。Butifyedonottestify，thenapunishmentwhichshallcausebirds，tofallfromthetreesinterrorandmonkeystoscreamforpity。'
　　Hearingthis，theAngarimenhastenedtoDupe。TheHajjithensaidtome:'Arethosethingssufficienttoestablishourcase，ormustIdriveinavillagefull？'Isaidthatthreewitnessesamplyestablishedanycase，butasyet，Isaid，theHajjihadnotofferedhisslavesforsale。Itistrue，asourSahibsaidjustnow，thereisonefineforcatchingslaves，andyetanotherformakingtosellthem。Anditwasthedoublefinethatweneeded，Sahib，forourSahib'scotton-play。Wehadfore-arrangedallthiswithBulakiRam，whoknowstheEnglishLaw，and，IthoughttheHajjiremembered，buthegrewangry，andcriedout:'OGod，RefugeoftheAfflicted，mustI，whoamwhatIam，peddlethis'
　　dog'smeatbytheroadsidetogainhisdelightformyheart'sdelight？"Nonetheless，headmitteditwastheEnglishLaw，andsoheofferedmethesix——five——inasmallvoice，withanavertedhead。TheSheshahelidonotsmellofsourmilkasheathenshould。
　　Theysmelllikeleopards，Sahib。Thisisbecausetheyeatmen。"
　　"Maybe，"saidStrickland。"Butwherewerethywits？Onewitnessisnotsufficienttoestablishthefactofasale。"
　　"Whatcouldwedo，Sahib？TherewastheHajji'sreputationtoconsider。Wecouldnothavecalledinaheathenwitnessforsuchathing。And，moreover，theSahibforgetsthatthedefendanthimselfwasmakingthiscase。Hewouldnotcontesthisownevidence。Otherwise，Iknowthelawofevidencewellenough。
　　"SothenwewenttoDupe，andwhileBulakiRamwaitedamongtheAngarimen，'IrantoseeourSahibinbed。Hiseyeswereverybright，andhismouthwasfullofupside-downorders，buttheoldwomanhadnotloosenedherhairfordeath。TheHajjisaid:'Bequickwithmytrial。IamnotJob!'TheHajjiwasalearnedman。
　　Wemadethetrialswiftlytoasoundofsoothingvoicesroundthebed。Yet——yet，becausenomancanbesurewhetheraSahibofthatbloodsees，ordoesnotsee，wemadeitstrictlyinthemanneroftheformsoftheEnglishLaw。Onlythewitnessesandtheslavesandtheprisonerwekeptwithoutforhisnose'ssake。"
　　"Thenhedidnotseetheprisoner？"saidStrickland。
　　"IstoodbytoshackleupanAngariincaseheshoulddemandit，butbyGod'sfavourhewastoofarfeveredtoaskforone。Itisquitetruehesignedthepapers。Itisquitetruehesawthemoneyputawayinthesafe——twohundredandtenEnglishpoundsanditisquitetruethatthegoldwroughtonhimasastrongcure。Butastohisseeingtheprisoner，andhavingspeechwiththeman-eaters——theHajjibreathedallthatonhisforeheadtosinkintohissickbrain。Alittle，asyehaveheard，hasremained……Ah，butwhenthefeverbroke，andourSahibcalledforthefine-book，andthethinlittlepicture-booksfromEuropewiththepicturesofploughsandhoes，andcotton=3Dmills——ah，thenhelaughedasheusedtolaugh，Sahib。
　　Itwashisheart'sdesire，thiscotton-play。TheHajjilovedhim，aswhodoesnot？Itwasalittle，littlearrangement，Sahib，ofwhich——isitnecessarytotellalltheworld？"
　　"AndwhendidstthouknowwhotheHajjiwas？"saidStrickland。
　　"NotforacertaintytillheandourSahibhadreturnedfromtheirvisittotheSheshahelicountry。ItisquitetrueasourSahibsays，theman-eaterslay，flataroundhisfeet，andaskedforspadestocultivatecotton。Thatverynight，whenIwascookingthedinner，theHajjisaidtome:'Igotomyownplace，thoughGodknowswhethertheManwiththeStoneEyeshaveleftmeanox，aslave，orawoman。'Isaid:'ThouartthenThatOne？'
　　TheHajjisaid:'Iamtenthousandrupeesrewardintothyhand。
　　Shallwemakeanotherlaw-caseandgetmorecottonmachinesfortheboy？'Isaid:'WhatdogamItodothis？MayGodprolongthylifeathousandyears!'TheHajjisaid:'Whohasseento-morrow？
　　Godhasgivenmeasitwereasoninmyoldage，andIpraiseHim。Seethatthebreedisnotlost!'
　　"Hewalkedthenfromthecooking-placetoourSahib'soffice-tableunderthetree，whereourSahibheldinhishandablueenvelopeofServicenewlycomeinbyrunnerfromtheNorth。
　　Atthis，fearingevilnewsfortheHajji，Iwouldhaverestrainedhim，buthesaid:'WebebothGreatOnes。Neitherofuswillfail。'OurSahiblookeduptoinvitetheHajjitoapproachbeforeheopenedtheletter，buttheHajjistoodofftillourSahibhadwellopenedandwellreadtheletter。ThentheHajjisaid:'Isitpermittedtosayfarewell？'OurSahibstabbedtheletteronthefilewithadeepandjoyfulbreathandcriedawelcome。TheHajjisaid:'Igotomyownplace，'andheloosedfromhisneckachainedheartofambergrissetinsoftgoldandhelditforth。
　　OurSahibsnatcheditswiftlyintheclosedfist，downturned，andsaid'Ifthynamebewrittenhereon，itisneedless，foranameisalreadyengravedonmyheart。'TheHajjisaid:'Andonminealsoisanameengraved；butthereisnonameontheamulet。'TheHajjistoopedtoourSahib'sfeet，butourSahibraisedandembracedhim，andtheHajjicoveredhismouthwithhisshoulder-cloth，becauseitworked，andsohewentaway。"
　　"AndwhatorderwasintheServiceletter？"Stalkymurmured。
　　"OnlyanorderforourSahibtowriteareportonsomenewcattlesickness。Butallorderscomeinthesamemakeofenvelope。Wecouldnottellwhatorderitmighthavebeen。"
　　"Whenheopenedtheletter——myson——madehenosign？Acough？Anoath？"Stricklandasked。
　　"None，Sahib。Iwatchedhishands。Theydidnotshake。Afterwardhewipedhisface，buthewassweatingbeforefromtheheat。"
　　"Didheknow？DidheknowwhotheHajjiwas？"saidtheInfantinEnglish。
　　"Iamapoorman。WhocansaywhataSahibofthatgetknowsordoesnotknow？ButtheHajjiisright。Thebreedshouldnotbelost。ItisnotveryhotforlittlechildreninDupe，andasregardsnurses，mysister'scousinatJull——"
　　"H'm!Thatistheboy'sownconcern。IwonderifhisChiefeverknew？"saidStrickland。
　　"Assuredly，"saidImamDin。"OnthenightbeforeourSahibwentdowntothesea，theGreatSahib——theManwiththeStoneEyes——dinedwithhiminhiscamp，Ibeinginchargeofthetable。
　　TheytalkedalongwhileandtheGreatSahibsaid:'WhatdidstthouthinkofThatOne？'WedonotsayIbnMakarrahyonder。OurSahibsaid:'Whichone？'TheGreatSahibsaid:'ThatOnewhichtaughtthyman-eaterstogrowcottonforthee。HewasinthyDistrictthreemonthstomycertainknowledge，andIlookedbyeveryrunnerthatthouwouldstsendmeinhishead。'OurSahibsaid:'Ifhisheadhadbeenneeded，anothermanshouldhavebeenappointedtogovernmyDistrict，forhewasmyfriend。'TheGreatSahiblaughedandsaid:'IfIhadneededalessermaninthyplacebesureIwouldhavesenthim，as，ifIhadneededtheheadofThatOne，besureIwouldhavesentmentobringittome。Buttellmenow，bywhatmeansdidstthoutwisthimtothyuseandourprofitinthiscotton-play？'OurSahibsaid:'ByGod，Ididnotusethatmaninanyfashionwhatever。Hewasmyfriend。'TheGreatSahibsaid:''TohVac!Bosh!Tell!'OurSahibshookhisheadashedoes——ashedidwhenachild——andtheylookedateachotherlikesword-playmenintheringatafair。TheGreatSahibdroppedhiseyesfirstandhesaid:'Sobeit。Ishouldperhapshaveansweredthusinmyyouth。Nomatter。IhavemadetreatywithThatOneasanallyoftheState。Somedayheshalltellmethetale。'ThenIbroughtinfreshcoffee，andtheyceased。ButI
　　donotthinkThatOnewilltelltheGreatSahibmorethanourSahibtoldhim。"
　　"Wherefore？"Iasked。
　　"BecausetheyarebothGreatOnes，andIhaveobservedinmylifethatGreatOnesemploywordsverylittlebetweeneachotherintheirdealings；stilllesswhentheyspeaktoathirdconcerningthosedealings。Alsotheyprofitbysilence……NowIthinkthatthemotherhascomedownfromtheroom，andIwillgorubhisfeettillhesleeps。"
　　HisearshadcaughtAgnes'sstepatthestair-headandpresentlyshepassedusonherwaytothemusicroomhummingtheMagnificat。
　　THENEWKNIGHTHOOD
　　WhogiveshimtheBath？
　　"I，"saidthewet，RankJungle-sweat，"I'llgivehimtheBath!"
　　Who'llsingthepsalms？
　　"We，"saidthePalms。
　　"Erethehotwindbecalms，We'llsingthepsalms。"
　　Wholaysonthesword？
　　"I，"saidtheSun，"Beforehehasdone，I'lllayonthesword。"
　　Whofastenshisbelt？
　　"I，"saidShort-Rations，"IknowallthefashionsOftighteningabelt!"
　　Whobuckleshisspur？
　　"I，"saidhisChief，Exactingandbrief，"I'llgivehimthespur。"
　　Who'llshakehishand？
　　"I，"saidtheFever，"AndI'mnodeceiver，I'llshakehishand。"
　　Whobringshimthewine？
　　"I，"saidQuinine，"It'sahabitofmine，I'llcomewithhiswine。"
　　Who'llputhimtoproof？
　　"I，"saidAllEarth，"Whateverhe'sworth，I'llputtotheproof。"
　　Who'llchoosehimforKnight？
　　"I，"saidhisMother，"Beforeanyother，Myveryownknight!"
　　Andafterthisfashion，adventuretoseek，WasSirGalahadmade——asitmightbelastweek!
　　THEPUZZLER
　　IhadnotseenPenfentenyousincetheMiddleNineties，whenhewasMinisterofWaysandWoodsidesinDeThouar'sfirstAdministration。Lastsummer，thoughhenominallyheldthesameportfolio，hewashisColony'sPremierinallbutname，andtheidolofhisownprovince，whichistwoandahalftimesthesizeofEngland。Politically，hiscreedwashisgrowingcountry；andhecameovertoEnglandtodevelopaGreatIdeainherbehalf。
　　Believingthathehadputitintrain，Imadehastetowelcomehimtomyhouseforaweek。
　　ThathewaschasedtomydoorbyhisownAgent-Generalinamotor；thattheyturnedmystudyintoaCabinetMeetingwhichI
　　wasnotinvitedtoattend；thatthelocaltelegraphallbutbrokedownbeneaththestrainofhundredwordcodedcables；andthatI
　　practicallybrokeintothehouseofastrangertogethimtelephonicfacilitiesonaSunday，arethingsIoverlook。WhatI
　　objectedtowashisingratitude，whileIthustoreupEnglandtohelphim。SoIsaid:"Whyonearthdidn'tyouseeyourOppositeNumberinTowninsteadofbringingyourofficeworkhere？"
　　"Eh？Who？"saidhe，lookingupfromhisfourthcablesincelunch。
　　"SeetheEnglishMinisterforWaysandWoodsides。"
　　"Isawhim，"saidPenfentenyou，withoutenthusiasm。
　　Itseemedthathehadcalledtwiceonthegentleman，butwithoutanappointment——"IthoughtifIwasn'tbigenough，mybusinesswas"——andeachtimehadfoundhimengaged。Athirdpartyintervening，suggestedthatameetingmightbearrangedifduenoticeweregiven。
　　"Then，"saidPenfentenyou，"Icalledattheofficeatteno'clock。"
　　"Butthey'dbeinbed，"Icried。
　　"Oneofthebabieswasawake。Hetoldmethat——that'mysortofquestions"'——heslappedthepileofcables——"wereonlytakenbetween11and2P。M。SoIwaited。"
　　"Andwhenyougottobusiness？"Iasked。
　　Hemadeagestureofdespair。"Itwasliketalkingtochildren。
　　They'dneverheardofit。"
　　"AndyourOppositeNumber？"
　　Penfentenyoudescribedhim。
　　"Hush!Youmustn'ttalklikethat!"Ishuddered。"He'soneofthebestofgoodfellows。Youshouldmeethimsocially。"
　　"I'vedonethattoo，"hesaid。"Haveyou？"
　　"Heavenforbid!"Icried；"butthat'stheproperthingtosay。"
　　"Oh，hesaidalltheproperthings。OnlyIthoughtasthiswasEnglandthatthey'dmoreorlesshavethehangofallthe——generalhang-togetherofmyIdea。ButIhadtoexplainitfromthebeginning。"
　　"Ah!They'dprobablymislaidthepapers，"Isaid，andItoldhimthestoryofathree-millionpoundinsurrectioncausedbyadeputyUnder-Secretarysittinguponamassofgreen-labelledcorrespondenceinsteadofreadingit。
　　"Iwonderitdoesn'thappeneveryweek，"theanswered。"D'youmindmyhavingtheAgent-Generaltodinneragaintonight？I'llwire，andhecanmotordown。"
　　TheAgent-Generalarrivedtwohourslater，apatientandexpostulatingperson，visiblytornbetweenthepullingDevilofarampantColony，andtheplacidBakerofalargelyuninterestedEngland。ButwithPenfentenyoubehindhimhehadworked；forhetoldusthatLordLundie——theLawLordwasthefinalauthorityonthelegalandconstitutionalaspectsoftheGreatIdea，andtohimitmustbereferred。
　　"GoodHeavensalive!"thunderedPenfentenyou。"ItoldyoutogetthatsettledlastChristmas。"
　　"Itwasthemiddleofthehouse-partyseason，"saidtheAgent-Generalmildly。"LordLundie'satCredenceGreennow——hespendshisholidaysthere。It'sonlyfortymilesoff。"
　　"Shan'tIdisturbhisHoliness？"saidPenfentenyouheavily。
　　"Perhaps'mysortofquestions，"'hesnorted，"mayn'tbediscussedexceptatmidnight。"
　　"Oh，don'tbeachild，"Isaid。
　　"Whatthiscountryneeds，"saidPenfentenyou，"is——"andfortenminuteshetrumpetedrebellion。
　　"Whatyouneedistopayforyourownprotection，"Icutinwhenhedrewbreath，andIshowedhimayellowishpaper，suppliedgratisbyGovernment，whichiscalledScheduleD。Tomymercilessdelighthehadneverseenthethingbefore，andIcompletedmyvictoryoverhimandalltheColonieswithaBrassey's"NavalAnnual"anda"Statesman'sYearBook。"
　　TheAgent-Generalinterposedwithagent-generalitiesbuttheyweremerelyprovocateursaboutTiesofSentiment。
　　"Theybeblowed!"saidPenfentenyou。"What'sthegoodofsentimenttowardsaKindergarten？"
　　"Quiteso。Tiesofcommonfunkarethethingsthatbindustogether；andthesooneryounewnationsrealizeitthebetter。
　　Whatyouneedisanannualinvasion。Thenyou'dgrowup。"
　　"Thankyou!Thankyou!"saidtheAgent-General。"That'swhatIamalwaystryingtotellmypeople。"
　　"But，mydearfool，"Penfentenyoualmostwept，"doyoupretendthatthesebanana-fingeredamateursathomearegrownup？"
　　"Youpoor，serious，paganman，"Iretorted，"ifyoutake'emthatway，you'llwreckyourGreatIdea。"
　　"WillyoutakehimtoLordLundie'sto-morrow？"saidtheAgent-Generalpromptly。
　　"IsupposeImust，"Isaid，"ifyouwon't。"
　　"Notme!I'mgoinghome，"saidtheAgent-General，anddeparted。I
　　amgladthatIamnocolony'sAgent-General。
　　Penfentenyoucontinuedtoargueaboutnavalcontributionstill1。15A。M。，thoughIwasvictorfromthefirst。
　　Atteno'clockIgothimandhiscorrespondenceintothemotor，andhehadthedecencytoaskwhetherhehadbeenunpolishedover-night。IrepliedthatIwaitedanapology。Thishemadeexcuseforrenewedarguments，andusedwaysideshowsasillustrationsofthedecadenceofEngland。
　　ForexampleweburstatyrewithinamileofCredenceGreen，and，tosavetime，walkedintothebeautifullykeptlittlevillage。
　　Hiseyewascaughtbyabuildingofpale-bluetin，stencilled"CalvinistChapel，"beforewhoseshutteredwindowsanItalianorgan-grinder。withapetticoatedmonkeywasplaying"DollyGrey-"
　　"Yes。That'sit!"snappedtheegoist。"That'saparableofthegeneralsituationinEngland。Andlookatthosebrutes!"Ahugehouseholdremovalsvanwashaltedatapublic-house。Themeninchargeweredrinkingbeerfromblueandwhitemugs。Itseemedtomeaprettysight，butPenfentenyousaiditrepresentedOurNationalAttitude。
　　LordLundie'ssummerresting-placewelearnedwasafarm，alittleoutofthevillage，upahillroundwhichcurledahighhedgedroad。OnlyaninitiatedfewspendtheirholidaysatCredenceGreen，andtheyhavetrainedthehouseholderstokeeptheplaceselect。Penfentenyoumadeagrievanceofthisaswewalkedupthelane，followedatadistancebytheorgan-grinder。
　　"Supposeheishavingahouse-party，"hesaid:"Anything'spossibleinthisinsaneland。"
　　Justatthatminutewefoundourselvesoppositeanemptyvilla。
　　Itsroofwasofblackslate，withbrightunweatheredridge-tiling；itswallswereofblood-colouredbrick，corneredandbandedwithvermiculatedstuccowork，andtherewascobalt，magenta，andpurestapple-greenwindow-glassoneithersideofthefrontdoor。Thewholewasfencedfromtheroadbyalow，brick-pillared，flintwall，toppedwithacast-ironGothicrail，pickedoutinblueandgold。
　　Tightbedsofgeranium，calceolaria，andlobeliaspeckledtheglass-plat，fromwhosecentreroseoneofthefinestaraucariasitsothernamebythewayis"monkey-puzzler"，thatithaseverbeenmylottosee。Itmusthavebeenfullthirtyfeethigh，anditsfoliageexquisitelyansweredtheironrailings。Suchbijouneplusultras，repletewithalltheamenities，donot，asIpointedouttoPenfentenyou，transpireoutsideofEngland。
　　Ahedge，swingingsharpright，flankedthegarden，andaboveitonaslopeofdaisy-dottedmeadowswecouldseeLordLundie'stiledandhalf-timberedsummerfarmhouse。Ofasuddenweheardvoicesbehindthetree——thefinefulltonesoftheunembarrassedEnglish，speakingtotheirequals——thattorethroughthehedgelikesleetthroughrafters。
　　"Thatitisnotcalled'monkey-puzzler'fornothing，Iwillinglyconcede"——thiswasarichandrollingnote——"butontheotherhand——"
　　"Isubmit，melud，thatthenameimpliesthatitmight，could，would，orshouldbeascendedbyamonkey，andnotthattheascentisaphysicalimpossibility。IbelieveoneofourSouthAmericanspidermonkeyswouldn'thesitate……ByJove，itmightbeworthtrying，if——"
　　Thiswasacrispervoicethanthefirst。Athird，higher-pitched，andfullofpleasantaffectations，brokein。
　　"Oh，practicalmen，thereisnoapehere。WhydoyouwasteoneofGod'sowndaysonunprofitablediscussion？Givemeamatch!"
　　"I'veagoodmindtomakeyoudemonstrateinyourownperson。
　　Comeon，Bubbles!We'llmakeJimmyclimb!"
　　Therewasasoundofscuffling，brokenbysqueaksfromJimmyofthehighvoice。IturnedbackanddrewPenfentenyouintothesideoftheflankinghedge。IrememberedtohavereadinasocietypaperthatLordLundie'slessernamewas"Bubbles。"
　　"Whataretheydoing？"Penfentenyousaidsharply。"Drunk？"
　　"Justplaying!SuperabundantvitalityoftheRace，youknow。
　　We'llwatch'em，"Ianswered。Thenoiseceased。
　　"Mydeliver，"Jimmygasped。"Theramcaughtinthethicket，and——I'mtheonlyonewhocantalkNeapolitan!Leggomycollar!"
　　Hecriedaloudinaforeigntongue，andwasansweredfromthegate。
　　"It'stheCalvinisticorgan-grinder，"Iwhispered。Ihadalreadyfoundapracticablebreakatthebottomofthehedge。"They'regoingtotrytomakethemonkeyclimb，Ibelieve。"
　　"Here——letmelook!"Penfentenyouflunghimselfdown，androotedtillhetoobrokeapeep-hole。Welaysidebysidecommandingtheentiregardenattenyards'range。
　　"Youknow'em？"saidPenfentenyou，asImadesomenoiseorother。
　　"Bysightonly。ThebigfellowinflannelsisLordLundie；thelight-builtonewiththeyellowbeardpaintedhispictureatthelastAcademy:He'saswellR。A。，JamesLoman。"
　　"Andthebrownchapwiththehands？"
　　"Tomling，SirChristopherTomling，theSouthAmericanengineerwhobuiltthe——"
　　"SanJuanViaduct。Iknow，"saidPenfentenyou。"Weoughttohavehadhimwithus……Doyouthinkamonkeywouldclimbthetree？"
　　Theorgan-grinderatthegatefencedhisbeastwithonearmasJimmy-talked。
　　"Don'tshowoffyourfutileaccomplishments，"saidLordLundie。
　　"Tellhimit'sanexperiment。Interesthim!"
　　"Shutup，Bubbles。Youaren'tincourt，"Jimmy'，replied。"Thisneedsdelicacy。Giuseppesays——"
　　"Interestthemonkey，"thebrownengineerinterrupted。"Hewon'tclimbforlove。Cutuptothehouseandgetsomebiscuits，Bubbles——sugaronesandanorangeortwo。Noneedtotellourwomenfolk。"
　　Thehugewhitefigurelobbedoffatatrotwhichwouldnothavedisgracedaboyofseventeen。IgatheredfromsomethingJimmyletfallthatthethreehadbeenatHarrowtogether。
　　"ThatTomlinghasaheadonhisShoulders，"mutteredPenfentenyou。"Pitywedidn'tgethimfortheColony。Butthequestionis，willthemonkeyclimb？"
　　"Bequick，Jimmy。Tellthemanwe'llgivehimfivebobfortheloanofthebeast。Nowruntheorganunderthetree，andwe'lldressitwhenBubblescomesback，"SirChristophercried。
　　"I'veoftenwondered，"saidPenfentenyou，"whetheritwouldpuzzleamonkey？"HehadforgottentheneedsofhisGrowingNation，andwasearnestlypartingthewhite-thornstemswithhisfingers。
　　**********
　　GiuseppeandJimmydidastheyweretold，themonkeyfollowingthemwithawaryandmalignanteye。
　　"Here'sadiscovery，"saidJimmy。"Thesingingpartofthisorgancomesoffthewheels。"Hespokevolublytotheproprietor。"Oh，it'ssoasGiuseppecantakeittohisroomo'nights。Andplayit。D'youhearthat？Theorgan-grinder，afterhisday'scrime，playshisaccursedmachineforlove。Forlove，Chris!AndMichaelAngelowasoneof'em!"
　　"Don'tjaw!Tellhimtotakethebeast'spetticoatoff，"saidSirChristopherTomling。
　　LordLundiereturned，verylittlewinded，throughagaphigherupthehedge。
　　"They'reallout，thankgoodness!"hecried，"butI'veraidedwhatIcould。Macronsglaces，candiedfruit，andabagoforanges。"
　　"Excellent!"saidtheworld-renownedcontractor。
　　"Jimmy，you'rethelight-weight；jumpupontheorganandimpalethesethingsontheleavesasIhand'em!"
　　"Isee，"saidJimmy，caperinglikeaspringbuck。"Upwardandonward，eh？First，he'llreachoutfor——howinfernalpricklytheseleavesare!——thisbiscuit。Nextwe'lllurehimon——that'saboutthereachofhisarm——withthemarronglare，andthenhe'llopenoutthisorange。Howhuman!Howlikeyourignoblecareer，Bubbles!"
　　Withcareandelaborationtheyornamentedthattree'slowerbrancheswithsugar-toppedbiscuits，oranges，bitsofbanana，andmarronsglarestillitlookedveryape'spathtoParadise。
　　"UnchaintheGyascutis!"saidSirChristophercommandingly。
　　Giuseppeplacedthemonkeyatopoftheorgan，wherethebeast，misunderstanding，stoodonhishead。
　　"He'sthrowinghimselfonthemercyoftheCourt，melud，"saidJimmy。"No——nowhe'sinterested。Nowhe'sreachingafterhigherthings。Whatwouldn'tIgivetohavehere"hementionedanamenotunhonouredinBritishArt。"AmbitionpluckingapplesofSodom!"themonkeyhadprickedhimselfandwasswearing。
　　"GeniushamperedbyConvention？Oh，there'sawholebushelfulofallegoriesinit!"
　　"Givehimtime。He'sbalancingtheprobabilities，"saidLordLundie。
　　Thethreeclosedroundthemonkey，——hangingonhiseverymotionwithanearnestnessalmostequaltoours。Thegreatjudge'shead——seamedandverticalforehead，ironmouth，andpike-likeunder-jaw，allsetonthatthickneckrisingoutofthewhiteflannelledcollar——wasthrownagainstthepuckeredgreensilkoftheorgan-frontasitmighthavebeenacameoofTitus。Jimmy，withraisedeyesandpartedlips，fingeredhisgrizzledchestnutbeard，andIwasnearenoughto-note，thecapablebeautyofhishands。SirChristopherstoodalittleapart，hisarmsfoldedbehindhisback，oneheavybrownbootthrustforward，chininascurbed，andblackeyebrowsloweredtoshadethekeeneyes。
　　Giuseppe'sdarkfacebetweenflashingearrings，atwistedragofredandyellowsilkroundhisthroat，turnedfromthereachingyearningmonkeytothepinkandwhitebiscuitsspikedonthebronzedleafage。AnduponthemallfelltheseriousandworkmanlikesunofanEnglishsummerforenoon。
　　"FilsdeSaintLouis，montezauciel!"saidLordLundiesuddenlyinavoicethatmademethinkofBlackCaps。Idonotknowwhatthemonkeythought，becauseatthatinstantheleapedofftheorgananddisappeared。
　　Therewasaclashofbrokenglassbehindthetree。
　　Themonkey'sface，distortedwithpassion，appearedatanupperwindowofthehouse，andastarredholeinthestained-glasswindowtotheleftof'thefrontdoorshowedthefirststepsofhisupwardpath。
　　"We'vegottocatchhim，"criedSirChristopher。"Comealong!"
　　Theypushedatthedoor，whichwasunlocked。
　　"Yes。Butconsidertheethicsofthecase，"saidJimmy。"Isn'tthisburglaryorsomething，Bubbles？"
　　"Settlethatwhenhe'scaught，"saidSirChristopher。We'reresponsibleforthebeast。"
　　Afuriousclangingofbellsbrokeoutoftheemptyhouse，followedbymuffedgurglingsandtrumpetings。
　　"Whatthedeuceisthat？"Iasked，halfaloud。
　　"Theplumbing，ofcourse，"saidPenfentenyou。"Whatapity!I
　　believehe'dhaveclimbedifLordLundiehadn'tputhimoff!"
　　"Waitamoment，Chris，"saidJimmytheinterpreter；"Guiseppesayshemayanswertothemusicofhisinfancy。Giuseppe，therefore，willgoinwiththe"organ。Orpheuswithhislute，youknow。Avante，Orpheus!There'snoNeapolitanforbathroom，butI
　　fancyyourfriendisthere。"
　　"I'mnotgoingintoanotherman'shousewitha，hurdy-gurdy，"
　　saidLordLundie，recoiling，asGiuseppeunshippedtheworkingmechanismoftheorganitdevelopedahang-downlegfromitswheels，slippedastraproundhisshoulders，andgavethehandleatwist。
　　"Don'tbeacad，Bubbles，"wasJimmy'sanswer。"Youcouldn'tleaveusnowifyouwereontheWoolsack。Play，Orpheus!TheCadiaccompanies。"
　　*********
　　Withawhoop，abuzz，andacrash，theorgansprangtolifeunderthehandofGiuseppe，andtheprocessionpassedthroughtherained-to-imitate-walnutfrontdoor。Amomentlaterwesawthemonkeyrampingontheroof。
　　"He'llbealloverthetownshipinaminuteifwedon'theadhim，"saidPenfentenyou，leapingtohisfeet，andcrashingintothegarden。Weheadedhimwithpebblestillheretiredthroughawindowtothetunefulreminderthathehadleftalotoflittlethingsbehindhim。Aswepassedthefrontdooritswungopen，andshowedJimmytheartistsittingatthebottomofanewly-cleanedstaircase。Hewaggledhishandsatus，andwhenweenteredwesawthatthemanwasstrickenspeechless。Hiseyesgrewred——redlikeaferret's——andwhatlittlebreathhehadwhistledshrilly。Atfirstwethoughtitwasafit，andthenwesawthatitwasmirth——theinopportunemirthoftheArtisticTemperament。
　　Thehousepalpitatedtoaninfamousmelodypunctuatedbythestumpofthebarrel-organ'soneleg，asGiuseppe，above，movedfromroomtoroomafterhisrebelslave。NowandagainafloorshookalittleunderthecombinedrushesofLordLundieandSirChristopherTomling，whogavemanyandcontradictoryorders。ButwhentheycouldtheycursedJimmywithsplendidthoroughness。
　　"Haveyouanythingtodowiththehouse？"pantedJimmyatlast。
　　"Becausewe'reusingitjustnow。"Hegulped。"AndI'mah——keepingcave。"
　　"Allright，"saidPenfentenyou，andshutthehalldoor。
　　"Jimmy，youunspeakableblackguardJimmy，youcur!Youcoward!"
　　LordLundie'svoiceoverborethefloodofmelody。"Comeuphere!Giussieppe'ssayingsomethingwedon'tunderstand。"
　　Jimmylistenedandinterpretedbetweenhiccups。
　　"Hesaysyou'dbetterplaytheorgan，Bubbles，andlethimdothestalking。Themonkeyknowshim。"
　　"ByJove，he'squiteright，"saidSirChristopher，fromthelanding。"Takeit，Bubbles，atonce。"
　　"MyGod!"saidLordLundieinhorror。
　　Thechasereverberatedoverourheads，fromtheatticstothefirstfloorandbackagain。BodiesandVoicesmetincollisionandargument，andonceortwicetheorganhitwallsanddoors。
　　Thenitbrokeforthinanewmanner。
　　"He'splayingit，"saidJimmy。"IknowhisacuteJustinianear。
　　Areyoufondofmusic？"
　　"IthinkLordLundieplaysverywellforabeginner，"Iventured。
　　"Ah!That'sthetrainedlegalintellect。Likemasteringabrief。
　　Ihaven'tgotit。"Hewipedhiseyesandshook。
　　"Hi!"saidPenfentenyou，lookingthroughthestainedglasswindowdownthegarden。"What'sthat!"
　　*********
　　Ahouseholdremovalsvan，inchargeoffourmen，hadhaltedatthegate。Ahusbandandhiswifehouseholdersbeyondquestion——quaveredirresolutelyupthepath。Helookedtired。Shewascertainlycross。Inallthishaphazardworldthelastcoupletounderstandascientificexperiment。
　　IlaidhandsonJimmy——theclamourabovedrowningspeechandwithPenfentenyou'said，proppedhimagainstthewindow，thatheshouldsee。
　　Hesaw，nodded，fellasanumbrellacanfall，andkneeling，beathisforeheadontheshutdoor。Penfentenyouslidthebolt。
　　Thefurnituremenreinforcedthetwofiguresonthepath，andadvanced，spreadinggenerously。
　　"Hadn'twebetterwarnthemup-stairs？"Isuggested:
　　"No。I'lldiefirst!"saidJimmy。"I'mprettynearitnow。
　　Besides，theycalledmenames。"
　　IturnedfromtheArtisttotheAdministrator。
　　"Coeterisparibus，Ithinkwe'dbetterbegoing，"saidPenfentenyou，dealerincrises。
　　"Ta——takemewithyou，"saidJimmy。"I'venoreputationtolose，butI'dliketowatch'emfrom——er——outsidethepicture。"
　　"There'salwaysamodusviviendi，"Penfentenyoumurmured，andtiptoedalongthehalltoabackdoor，whichheopenedquitesilently。Wepassedintoatangleofgooseberrybusheswhere，athisstatesmanlikeexample，wecrawledonallfours，andregainedthehedge。
　　Herewelayup，secureinouralibi。
　　"Butyourfirm，"——thewomanwaswailingtothefurnitureremovalsmen——"yourfirmpromisedmeeverythingshouldbeinyesterday。
　　Andit'sto-day!Youshouldhavebeenhereyesterday!"
　　"Thelasttenantsain'toutyet，lydy，"saidoneofthem。
　　LordLundiewasrapidlyimprovingintechnique，thoughorgan-grinding，unliketheLaw，ismoreofacallingthanatrade，andhehungoccasionallyonadeadcentre。Giuseppe，I
　　think，wassinging，butIcouldnotunderstandthedriftofSirChristopher'sremarks。TheywereSpanish。
　　Thewomansaidsomethingwedidnotcatch。
　　"Youmight'avesub-letit，"themaninsisted。"Oryourgentleman'eremight。"
　　"ButIdidn't。SendforthePoliceatonce。"
　　"Iwouldn'tdothat，lydy。They'reonlyfruitpickersonabeano。
　　Theyaren'tparticularwheretheysleep。"
　　"D'youmeanthey'vebeensleepingthere？Ionlyhaditcleanedlastweek。Getthemout。"
　　"Oh，ifyousayso，we'll'ave'emoutofitintwotwos。Alf，fetchmethespareswingle-bar。"
　　"Don't!You'llknockthepaintoffthedoor。Getthemout!"
　　"Whatthe'ellelseamItryingtodoforyou，lydy？"themanansweredwithpathos；butthewomanwheeledonhermate。
　　"Edward!They'realldrunkhere，andthey'reallmadthere。Dosomething!"shesaid。
　　Edwardtookoneshortstepforward，andsighed"Hullo!"inthedirectionoftheturbulenthouse。Thewomanwalkedupanddown，theveryfigureofDomesticTragedy。Thefurnituremenswayedalittleontheirheels，and-
　　"Gothim!"Theshoutrangthroughallthewindowsatonce。Itwasfollowedbyablood-hound-likebayfromSirChristopher，amaniacalprestissimoontheorgan，andloudcries，forJimmy。ButJimmy，atmyside，rolledhiscongestedeyeballs，owl-wise。
　　"Ineverknewthem，"hesaid。"I'manorphan。"
　　*********
　　Thefront，dooropened，andthethreecameforthtoshort-livedtriumph。IhadneverbeforeseenaLawLorddressedasfortennis，withastump-legbarrel-organstrappedtohisshoulder。
　　Butitisashybirdinthisplumage。LordLundiestrovetodisembarrasshimselfofhisaccoutrementsmuchasanill-trainedPunchandJudydogtriestoescapebackwardsthroughhisfrilledcollar。SirChristopher，coveredwithlimewash，cherishedableedingthumb，andthealmostcrazymonkeytoreatGiuseppe'shair。
　　Themenonbothsidesreeled，butthewomanstoodherground。
　　"Idiots!"shesaid，andoncemore，"Idiots!"
　　IcouldhavegladdenedafewconvictsofmyacquaintancewithaphotographofLordLundieatthatinstant。
　　"Madam，"hebegan，wonderfullypreservingtherollinhisvoice，"itwasamonkey。"
　　SirChristophersuckedhisthumbandnodded。
　　"Takeitawayandgo，"shereplied。"Goaway!"
　　Iwouldhavegone，andgladly，onthispermission，butthesestillstrongmenmusteverbejustifyingthemselves。LordLundieturnedtothehusband，whoforthefirsttimespoke。
　　"Ihaverentedthishouse。Iammovingin，"hesaid。
　　"Weoughttohavebeeninyesterday，"thewomaninterrupted。
　　"Yes。Weoughttohavebeeninyesterday。Haveyousleptthereovernight？"saidthemanpeevishly。
　　"No；Iassureyouwehaven't，"saidLordLundie。
　　"Thengoaway。Goquiteaway，"criedthewoman。
　　Theywent——insinglefiledownthepath。Theywentsilently，restrappingtheorganonitswheels，andrechainingthemonkeytotheorgan。
　　"Damnitall!"saidPenfentenyou。"Theydofacethemusic，andtheydostickbyeachotherinprivatelife!"
　　"TiesofCommonFunk，"Ianswered。Giusepperantothegateandfledbacktothepossibleworld。LordLundieandSirChristopher，constrainedbytradition，pacedslowly。
　　Thenitcametopassthatthewoman，whowalkedbehindthem，lifteduphereyes，andbeheldthetreewhichtheyhaddressed。
　　"Stop!"shecalled；andtheystopped。"Whodidthat？"
　　Therewasnoanswer。TheEternalBadBoyineverymanhungitsheadbeforetheEternalMotherineverywoman。
　　"Whoputthesedisgustingthingsthere？"sherepeated。
　　SuddenlyPenfentenyou，PremierofhisColonyinallbutname，leftJimmyandme，andappearedatthegate。Ifheisnotturnedoutofoffice，thatishowhewillappearontheDayofArmageddon。
　　"Welldoneyou!"hecriedzealously，anddoffedhishattothewoman。"Haveyouanychildren，madam？"hedemanded。
　　"Yes，two。Theyshouldhavebeenhereto-day。Thefirmpromised——"
　　"Thenwe'renotaminutetoosoon。Thatmonkeyescaped。Itwasaverydangerousbeast。'Mighthavefrightenedyourchildrenintofits。Alltheorgan-grinder'sfault!Amostluckythingthesegentlemencaughtitwhentheydid。Ihopeyouaren'tbadlymauled，SirChristopher？"ShakenasIwasIwantedtogetawayandlaughIcouldnotbutadmirethescoundrel'sconsummatetactinleadinghissecondhighesttrump。AnasswouldhaveintroducedLordLundieandtheywouldnothavebelievedhim。
　　Ittookthetrick。Thecouplesmiled，andgaverespectfulthanksfortheirdeliverancebysuchhandsfromsuchperils。
　　"Notintheleast，"saidLordLundie。"Anybody——anyfatherwouldhavedoneasmuch，andpraydon'tapologizeyourmistakewasquitenatural。"Afurnituremansniggeredhere，andLordLundierolledanEyeofDoomontheirranks。"Bytheway，ifyouhavetroublewiththesepersons——theyseemtohavetakenasmuchasisgoodforthem——pleaseletmeknow。Er——Goodmorning!"
　　Theyturnedintothelane。
　　"Heavens!"saidJimmy，brushinghimselfdown。"Who'sthatrealmanwiththerealhead？"andwehurriedafterthem，fortheywererunningunsteadily，squeakinglikerabbitsastheyran。Weovertooktheminalittlenutwoodhalfamileuptheroad，wheretheyhadturnedaside，andwererolling。Sowerolledwiththem，andceasednottillwehadarrivedattheextremityofexhaustion。
　　"You——yousawitall，then？"saidLordLundie，rebuttoninghisnineteen-inchcollar。
　　"Isawitwasavitalquestionfromthefirst，"respondedPenfentenyou，andblewhisnose。
　　"Itwas。Bytheway，d'youmindtellingmeyourname？"
　　Summa。Penfentenyou'sGreatIdeahasgonethrough，alittlechippedattheedges，butinfineandfar-reachingshape。HisOppositeNumberworkedatitlikeamule——abewilderedmule，beatenfrombehind，coaxedfrominfront，andproppedoneithersoftsidebyLordLundieofthecompressedmouthandthesearingtongue。
　　SirChristopherTomlinghasbeenravishedfromtheArgentine，where，afterall，hewasbutpreparingtrade-routesforhostilepeoples，andnowadornstheforefrontofPenfentenyou'sAdvisoryBoard。Thiswasanunforeseenextra，aswasJimmy'sgratisfull-length——itwillbeinthisyear'sAcademyofPenfentenyou，whohasreturnedtohisownplace。
　　Nowandagain，fromafaroff，betweentheslamandbumpofhisshiftingscenery，theglareofhismanipulatedlimelight，andthecontrolledrollingofhisthunder-drums，Icatchhisvoice，liftedinencouragementandadvicetohisfellow-countrymen。HeisquitesoundonTiesofSentiment，and——aloneofColonialStatesmenventurestotalkoftheTiesofCommonFunk。
　　HereinIhavemyreward。
　　THEPUZZLER
　　TheCeltinallhisvariantsfromBuilthtoBallyhoo，Hismentalprocessesareplain——oneknowswhathewilldo，Andcanlogicallypredicatehisfinishbyhisstart:
　　ButtheEnglish——ah，theEnglish!——theyarequitearaceapart。
　　Theirpsychologyisbovine，theiroutlookcrudeandrare；
　　Theyabandonvitalmatterstobetickledwithastraw；
　　Butthestrawthattheyweretickledwith——thechaffthattheywerefedwith——
　　Theyconvertintoaweaver'sbeamtobreaktheirfoeman'sheadwith。
　　ForundemocraticreasonsandformotivesnotofState，Theyarriveattheirconclusions——largelyinarticulate。
　　Beingvoidofself-expressiontheyconfidetheirviewstonone；
　　Butsometimes，inasmoking-room，onelearnswhythingsweredone。
　　Intelegraphicsentences，halfswallowedattheends，Theyhintamatter'sinwardness——andtherethematterends。
　　AndwhiletheCeltistalkingfromValenciatoKirkwall，TheEnglish——ah，theEnglish!——don'tsayanythingatall!
　　LITTLEFOXES
　　ATALEOFTHEGIHONHUNT
　　AfoxcameoutofhisearthonthebanksoftheGreatRiverGihon，whichwatersEthiopia。Hesawawhitemanridingthroughthedrydhurra-stalks，and，thathisdestinymightbefulfilled，barkedathim。
　　Theriderdrewreinamongthevillagersroundhisstirrup。
　　"What，"saidhe，"isthat？"
　　"That，"saidtheSheikhofthevillage，"isafox，OExcellencyOurGovernor。"
　　"Itisnot，then，ajackal？"
　　"Nojackal，butAbuHusseinthefatherofcunning。"
　　"Also，"thewhitemanspokehalfaloud，"IamMudirofthisProvince。"
　　"Itistrue，"theycried。"Ya，SaartelMudir"OExcellencyOurGovernor。
　　TheGreatRiverGihon，wellusedtothemoodsofkings，slidbetweenhismile-widebankstowardthesea，whiletheGovernorpraisedGodinaloudandsearchingcryneverbeforeheardbytheriver。
　　Whenhehadloweredhisrightforefingerfrombehindhisrightear，thevillagerstalkedtohimoftheircrops——barley，dhurrah，millet，onions，andthelike。TheGovernorstoodinhisstirrups。
　　Northhelookedupastripofgreencultivationafewhundredyardswidethatlaylikeacarpetbetweentheriverandthetawnylineofthedesert。Sixtymilesthatstripstretchedbeforehim，andasmanybehind。Ateveryhalf-mileagroaningwater-wheelliftedthesoftwaterfromtherivertothecropsbywayofamud-builtaqueduct。Afootorsowidewasthewater-channel；fivefootormorehighwasthebankonwhichitran，anditsbasewasbroadinproportion。AbuHussein，misnamedtheFatherofCunning，drankfromtheriverbelowhisearth，andhisshadowwaslonginthelowsun。HecouldnotunderstandtheloudcrywhichtheGovernorhadcried。
　　TheSheikhofthevillagespokeofthecropsfromwhichtherulersofalllandsdrawrevenue；buttheGovernor'seyeswerefixed，betweenhishorse'sears，onthenearestwater-channel。
　　"VerylikeaditchinIreland，"hemurmured，andsmiled，dreamingofarazor-toppedbankindistantKildare。
　　Encouragedbythatsmile，theSheikhcontinued。"Whencropsfailitisnecessarytoremittaxation。Thenitisagoodthing，O
　　ExcellencyOurGovernor，thatyoucomeandseethecropswhichhavefailed，anddiscoverthatwehavenotlied。"
　　"Assuredly。"TheGovernorshortenedhisreins。Thehorsecanteredon，roseattheembankmentofthewater-channel，changedlegcleverlyontop，andhoppeddowninacloudofgoldendust。
　　AbuHusseinfromhisearthwatchedwithinterest。Hehadneverbeforeseensuchthings。
　　"Assuredly，"theGovernorrepeated，andcamebackbythewayhehadgone。"Itisalwaysbesttoseeforone'sself。"
　　Anancientandstillbullet-speckledstern-wheelsteamer，withabargelashedtoherside，cameroundtheriverbend。ShewhistledtotelltheGovernorhisdinnerwasready，andthehorse，seeinghisfodderpiledonthebarge，whinniedback。
　　"Moreover，"theSheikhadded，"inthedaysoftheOppressiontheEmirsandtheircreaturesdispossessedmanypeopleoftheirlands。Allupanddowntheriverourpeoplearewaitingtoreturntotheirlawfulfields。"
　　"Judgeshavebeenappointedtosettlethatmatter，"saidtheGovernor。"Theywillpresentlycomeinsteamersandhearthewitnesses。"
　　"Wherefore？DidtheJudgeskilltheEmirs？WewouldratherbejudgedbythemenwhoexecutedGod'sjudgmentontheEmirs。Wewouldratherabidebyyourdecision，OExcellencyOurGovernor。"
　　TheGovernornodded。ItwasayearsincehehadseentheEmirsstretchedcloseandstillroundthereddenedsheepskinwherelayElMahdi，theProphetofGod。Nowthereremainednotraceoftheirdominionexcepttheoldsteamer，oncepartofaDervishflotilla，whichwashishouseandoffice。Shesidledintotheshore，loweredaplank，andtheGovernorfollowedhishorseaboard。
　　Lightsburnedonhertilllate，dullyreflectedintheriverthattuggedathermooring-ropes。TheGovernorread，notforthefirsttime，theadministrationreportsofoneJohnJorrocks，M。F。H。
　　"Weshallneed，"hesaidsuddenlytohisInspector，"abouttencouple。I'llget'emwhenIgohome。You'llbeWhip，Baker？"
　　TheInspector，whowasnotyettwenty-five，signifiedhisassentintheusualmanner，whileAbuHusseinbarkedatthevastdesertmoon。
　　"Ha!"saidtheGovernor，comingoutinhispyjamas，"we'llbegivingyoucapiviinanotherthreemonths，myfriend。"
　　*****
　　Itwasfour，asamatteroffact，ereasteamerwithamelodiousbargefulofhoundsanchoredatthatlanding。TheInspectorleapeddownamongthem，andthehomesickwanderersreceivedhimasabrother。
　　"Everybodyfed'emeverythingonboardship，butthey'rerealdaintyhoundsatbottom，"theGovernorexplained。"That'sRoyalyou'vegotholdof——thepickofthebunch——andthebitchthat'sgot，holdofyou——she'salittleexcited——isMayQueen。Merriman，outofCottesmoreMaudlin，youknow。"
　　"Iknow。'Grandoldbetchwiththetaneyebrows，"'theInspectorcooed。"Oh，Ben!Ishalltakeaninterestinlifenow。Harkto'em!Ohark!"
　　AbuHussein，underthehighbank，wentabouthisnight'swork。Aneddycarriedhisscenttothebarge，andthreevillagesheardthecrashofmusicthatfollowed。EventhenAbuHusseindidnotknowbetterthantobarkinreply。
　　"Well，whataboutmyProvince？"theGovernorasked。
　　"Notsobad，"theInspectoranswered，withRoyal'sheadbetweenhisknees。"Ofcourse，allthevillageswantremissionoftaxes，but，asfarasIcansee，thewholecountry'sstinkin'withfoxes。Ourtroublewillbechoppin''emincover。I'vegotalistoftheonlyvillagesentitledtoanyremission。Whatd'youcallthisflat-sided，blue-mottledbeastwiththejowl？"
　　"Beagle-boy。Ihavemydoubtsabouthim。Doyouthinkwecangettwodaysaweek？"
　　"Easy；andasmanybyesasyouplease。TheSheikhofthisvillageheretellsmethathisbarleyhasfailed，andhewantsafiftypercentremission。"
　　"We'llbeginwithhimto-morrow，andlookathiscropsaswego。
　　Nothinglikepersonalsupervision，"saidtheGovernor。
　　Theybeganatsunrise。Thepackflewoffthebargeineverydirection，and，aftergambols，dugliketerriersatAbuHussein'smanyearths。Thentheydrankthemselvespot-belliedonGihonwaterwhiletheGovernorandtheInspectorchastisedthemwithwhips。Scorpionswereadded；forMayQueennosedone，andwasremovedtothebargelamenting。Mysteryapuppy，alas!metasnake，andtheblue-mottledBeagle-boyneveradaintyhoundatethatwhichheshouldhavepassedby。OnlyRoyal，oftheBelvoirtanheadandthesad，discerningeyes，madeanyattempttoupholdthehonourofEnglandbeforethewatchingvillage。
　　"Youcan'texpecteverything，"saidtheGovernorafterbreakfast。
　　"Wegotit，though——everythingexceptfoxes。HaveyouseenMayQueen'snose？"saidtheInspector。
　　"AndMystery'sdead。We'llkeep'emcouplednexttimetillwegetwellinamongthecrops。Isay，whatababblingbody-snatcherthatBeagle-boyis!Oughttobedrowned!"
　　"Theyburypeoplesodamncasualhereabouts。Givehimanotherchance，"theInspectorpleaded，notknowingthatheshouldlivetorepentmostbitterly。
　　"Talkin'ofchances，"saidtheGovernor，"thisSheikhliesabouthisbarleybein'afailure。Ifit'shighenoughtohideahoundatthistimeofyear，it'sallright。Andhewantsafiftypercentremission，yousaid？"
　　"Youdidn'tgoonpastthemelonpatchwhereItriedtoturnWanderer。It'sallburnedupfromthereontothedesert。Hisotherwater-wheelhasbrokendown，too，"theInspectorreplied。
　　"Verygood。We'llsplitthedifferenceandallowhimtwenty-fivepercentoff。Where'llwemeetto-morrow？"
　　"There'ssometroubleamongthevillagesdowntheriverabouttheirland-titles。It'sgoodgoin'groundthere，too，"theInspectorsaid。
　　Thenextmeet，then，wassometwentymilesdowntheriver，andthepackwerenotenlargedtilltheywerefairlyamongthefields。AbuHusseinwasthereinforce——fourofhim。Fourdelirioushuntsoffourminuteseach——fourhoundsperfox——endedinfourearthsjustabovetheriver。Allthevillagelookedon。
　　"Weforgotabouttheearths。Thebanksareriddledwith'em。
　　This'lldefeatus，"saidtheInspector。
　　"Waitamoment!"TheGovernordrewforthasneezinghound。"I'vejustrememberedI'mGovernoroftheseparts。"
　　"Thenturnoutablackbattaliontostopforus。We'llneed'em，oldman。"