Shelookeddownandsighed；andtheypassedoutofthecrumblingoldplace，andslowlycrossedtothechurchyardentrance。Knightwasnothimself，andhecouldnotpretendtobe。Shehadnottoldall。
　　Hesupportedherlightlyoverthestile，andwaspracticallyasattentiveasalovercouldbe。Buttherehadpassedawayaglory，andthedreamwasnotasithadbeenofyore。PerhapsKnightwasnotshapedbyNatureforamarryingman。Perhapshislifelongconstrainttowardswomen，whichhehadattributedtoaccident，wasnotchanceafterall，butthenaturalresultofinstinctiveactssominuteastobeundiscernibleevenbyhimself。Orwhethertheroughdispellingofanybrightillusion，howeverimaginative，depreciatestherealandunexaggeratedbrightnesswhichappertainstoitsbasis，onecannotsay。CertainitwasthatKnight'sdisappointmentatfindinghimselfsecondorthirdinthefield，atElfride'smomentaryequivoque，andatherreluctancetobecandid，broughthimtothevergeofcynicism。
　　ChapterXXXIII
　　'OdaughterofBabylon，wastedwithmisery。'
　　AhabitofKnight's，whennotimmediatelyoccupiedwithElfride——
　　towalkbyhimselfforhalfanhourorsobetweendinnerandbedtime——hadbecomefamiliartohisfriendsatEndelstow，Elfrideherselfamongthem。Whenhehadhelpedheroverthestile，shesaidgently，'Ifyouwishtotakeyourusualturnonthehill，Harry，Icanrundowntothehousealone。'
　　'Thankyou，Elfie；thenIthinkIwill。'
　　Herformdiminishedtoblacknessinthemoonlight，andKnight，afterremaininguponthechurchyardstileafewminuteslonger，turnedbackagaintowardsthebuilding。Hisusualcoursewasnowtolightacigarorpipe，andindulgeinaquietmeditation。Butto-nighthismindwastootensetobethinkitselfofsuchasolace。Hemerelywalkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower，andsathimselfdownuponsomeofthelargestoneswhichhadcomposedituntilthisday，whenthechainofcircumstanceoriginatedbyStephenSmith，whileintheemployofMr。Hewby，theLondonmanofart，hadbroughtaboutitsoverthrow。
　　PonderingonthepossibleepisodesofElfride'spastlife，andonhowhehadsupposedhertohavehadnopastjustifyingthename，hesatandregardedthewhitetombofyoungJethway，nowcloseinfrontofhim。Thesea，thoughcomparativelyplacid，couldasusualbeheardfromthispointalongthewholedistancebetweenpromontoriestotherightandleft，flounderingandentanglingitselfamongtheinsulatedstacksofrockwhichdottedthewater'sedge——themiserableskeletonsoftorturedoldcliffsthatwouldnotevenyetsuccumbtothewearandtearofthetides。
　　Asachangefromthoughtsnotofaverycheerfulkind，Knightattemptedexertion。Hestoodup，andpreparedtoascendtothesummitoftheruinousheapofstones，fromwhichamoreextendedoutlookwasobtainablethanfromtheground。Hestretchedouthisarmtoseizetheprojectingarrisofalargerblockthanordinary，andsohelphimselfup，whenhishandlightedplumpuponasubstancedifferinginthegreatestpossibledegreefromwhathehadexpectedtoseize——hardstone。Itwasstringyandentangled，andtraileduponthestone。Thedeepshadowfromtheaislewallpreventedhisseeinganythingheredistinctly，andhebeganguessingasanecessity。'Itisatressyspeciesofmossorlichen，'hesaidtohimself。
　　Butitlaylooselyoverthestone。
　　'Itisatuftofgrass，'hesaid。
　　Butitlackedtheroughnessandhumidityofthefinestgrass。
　　'Itisamason'swhitewash-brush。'
　　Suchbrushes，heremembered，weremorebristly；andhowevermuchusedinrepairingastructure，wouldnotberequiredinpullingonedown。
　　Hesaid，'Itmustbeathreadysilkfringe。'
　　Hefeltfurtherin。Itwassomewhatwarm。Knightinstantlyfeltsomewhatcold。
　　Tofindthecoldnessofinanimatematterwhereyouexpectwarmthisstartlingenough；butacoldertemperaturethanthatofthebodybeingrathertherulethantheexceptionincommonsubstances，ithardlyconveyssuchashocktothesystemasfindingwarmthwhereutterfrigidityisanticipated。
　　'Godonlyknowswhatitis，'hesaid。
　　Hefeltfurther，andinthecourseofaminuteputhishanduponahumanhead。Theheadwaswarm，butmotionless。Thethreadymasswasthehairofthehead——longandstraggling，showingthattheheadwasawoman's。
　　Knightinhisperplexitystoodstillforamoment，andcollectedhisthoughts。Thevicar'saccountofthefallofthetowerwasthattheworkmenhadbeenunderminingitalltheday，andhadleftintheeveningintendingtogivethefinishingstrokethenextmorning。Halfanhouraftertheyhadgonetheunderminedanglecamedown。Thewomanwhowashalfburied，asitseemed，musthavebeenbeneathitatthemomentofthefall。
　　Knightleaptupandbeganendeavouringtoremovetherubbishwithhishands。Theheapoverlyingthebodywasforthemostpartfineanddusty，butinimmensequantity。Itwouldbeasavingoftimetorunforassistance。Hecrossedtothechurchyardwall，andhasteneddownthehill。
　　Alittlewaydownanintersectingroadpassedoverasmallridge，whichnowshowedupdarklyagainstthemoon，andthisroadhereformedakindofnotchinthesky-line。AtthemomentthatKnightarrivedatthecrossinghebeheldamanonthiseminence，comingtowardshim。Knightturnedasideandmetthestranger。
　　'Therehasbeenanaccidentatthechurch，'saidKnight，withoutpreface。'Thetowerhasfallenonsomebody，whohasbeenlyingthereeversince。Willyoucomeandhelp？'
　　'ThatIwill，'saidtheman。
　　'Itisawoman，'saidKnight，astheyhurriedback，'andIthinkwetwoareenoughtoextricateher。Doyouknowofashovel？'
　　'Thegrave-diggingshovelsareaboutsomewhere。Theyusedtostayinthetower。'
　　'Andtheremustbesomebelongingtotheworkmen。'
　　Theysearchedabout，andinanangleoftheporchfoundthreecarefullystowedaway。GoingroundtothewestendKnightsignifiedthespotofthetragedy。
　　'Weoughttohavebroughtalantern，'heexclaimed。'Butwemaybeabletodowithout。'Hesettoworkremovingthesuperincumbentmass。
　　Theotherman，wholookedonsomewhathelplesslyatfirst，nowfollowedtheexampleofKnight'sactivity，andremovedthelargerstoneswhichweremingledwiththerubbish。Butwithalltheireffortsitwasquitetenminutesbeforethebodyoftheunfortunatecreaturecouldbeextricated。Theyliftedherascarefullyastheycould，breathlesslycarriedhertoFelixJethway'stomb，whichwasonlyafewstepswestward，andlaidherthereon。
　　'Isshedeadindeed？'saidthestranger。
　　'Sheappearstobe，'saidKnight。'Whichisthenearesthouse？
　　Thevicarage，Isuppose。'
　　'Yes；butsinceweshallhavetocallasurgeonfromCastleBoterel，Ithinkitwouldbebettertocarryherinthatdirection，insteadofawayfromthetown。'
　　'Andisitnotmuchfurthertothefirsthousewecometogoingthatway，thantothevicarageortoTheCrags？'
　　'Notmuch，'thestrangerreplied。
　　'Supposewetakeherthere，then。AndIthinkthebestwaytodoitwouldbethus，ifyoudon'tmindjoininghandswithme。'
　　'Notintheleast；Iamgladtoassist。'
　　Makingakindofcradle，byclaspingtheirhandscrosswiseundertheinanimatewoman，theyliftedher，andwalkedonsidebysidedownapathindicatedbythestranger，whoappearedtoknowthelocalitywell。
　　'Ihadbeensittinginthechurchfornearlyanhour，'Knightresumed，whentheywereoutofthechurchyard。'AfterwardsI
　　walkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower，andsofoundher。
　　ItispainfultothinkIunconsciouslywastedsomuchtimeintheverypresenceofaperishing，flyingsoul。'
　　'Thetowerfellatdusk，diditnot？quitetwohoursago，I
　　think？'
　　'Yes。Shemusthavebeentherealone。Whatcouldhavebeenherobjectinvisitingthechurchyardthen？
　　'Itisdifficulttosay。'Thestrangerlookedinquiringlyintotherecliningfaceofthemotionlessformtheybore。'Wouldyouturnherroundforamoment，sothatthelightshinesonherface？'hesaid。
　　Theyturnedherfacetothemoon，andthemanlookedcloserintoherfeatures。'Why，Iknowher!'heexclaimed。
　　'Whoisshe？'
　　'Mrs。Jethway。Andthecottagewearetakinghertoisherown。
　　Sheisawidow；andIwasspeakingtoheronlythisafternoon。I
　　wasatCastleBoterelpost-office，andshecametheretopostaletter。Poorsoul!Letushurryon。'
　　'Holdmywristalittletighter。Wasnotthattombwelaidheronthetombofheronlyson？'
　　'Yes，itwas。Yes，Iseeitnow。Shewastheretovisitthetomb。Sincethedeathofthatsonshehasbeenadesolate，despondingwoman，alwaysbewailinghim。Shewasafarmer'swife，verywelleducated——agovernessoriginally，Ibelieve。'
　　Knight'sheartwasmovedtosympathy。HisownfortunesseemedinsomestrangewaytobeinterwovenwiththoseofthisJethwayfamily，throughtheinfluenceofElfrideoverhimselfandtheunfortunatesonofthathouse。Hemadenoreply，andtheystillwalkedon。
　　'Shebeginstofeelheavy，'saidthestranger，breakingthesilence。
　　'Yes，shedoes，'saidKnight；andafteranotherpauseadded，'I
　　thinkIhavemetyoubefore，thoughwhereIcannotrecollect。MayIaskwhoyouare？'
　　'Ohyes。IamLordLuxellian。Whoareyou？'
　　'IamavisitoratTheCrags——Mr。Knight。'
　　'Ihaveheardofyou，Mr。Knight。'
　　'AndIofyou，LordLuxellian。Iamgladtomeetyou。'
　　'Imaysaythesame。Iamfamiliarwithyournameinprint。'
　　'AndIwithyours。Isthisthehouse？'
　　'Yes。'
　　Thedoorwaslocked。Knight，reflectingamoment，searchedthepocketofthelifelesswoman，andfoundthereinalargekeywhich，onbeingappliedtothedoor，openediteasily。Thefirewasout，butthemoonlightenteredthequarriedwindow，andmadepatternsuponthefloor。Theraysenabledthemtoseethattheroomintowhichtheyhadenteredwasprettywellfurnished，itbeingthesameroomthatElfridehadvisitedalonetwoorthreeeveningsearlier。Theydepositedtheirstillburdenonanold-fashionedcouchwhichstoodagainstthewall，andKnightsearchedaboutforalamporcandle。Hefoundacandleonashelf，lightedit，andplaceditonthetable。
　　BothKnightandLordLuxellianexaminedthepalecountenanceattentively，andbothwerenearlyconvincedthattherewasnohope。Nomarksofviolencewerevisibleinthecasualexaminationtheymade。
　　'IthinkthatasIknowwhereDoctorGransonlives，'saidLordLuxellian，'Ihadbetterrunforhimwhilstyoustayhere。'
　　Knightagreedtothis。LordLuxellianthenwentoff，andhishurryingfootstepsdiedaway。Knightcontinuedbendingoverthebody，andafewminuteslongerofcarefulscrutinyperfectlysatisfiedhimthatthewomanwasfarbeyondthereachofthelancetandthedrug。Herextremitieswerealreadybeginningtogetstiffandcold。Knightcoveredherface，andsatdown。
　　Theminuteswentby。Theessayistremainedmusingonalltheoccurrencesofthenight。Hiseyesweredirecteduponthetable，andhehadseenforsometimethatwriting-materialswerespreaduponit。Henownoticedthesemoreparticularly:therewereaninkstand，pen，blotting-book，andnote-paper。Severalsheetsofpaperwerethrustasidefromtherest，uponwhichlettershadbeenbegunandrelinquished，asiftheirformhadnotbeensatisfactorytothewriter。Astickofblacksealing-waxandsealweretheretoo，asiftheordinaryfasteninghadnotbeenconsideredsufficientlysecure。Theabandonedsheetsofpaperlyingastheydidopenuponthetable，madeitpossible，ashesat，toreadthefewwordswrittenoneach。Oneranthus:
　　'SIR，——Asawomanwhowasonceblestwithadearsonofherown，I
　　imploreyoutoacceptawarning——'
　　Another:
　　'SIR，——Ifyouwilldeigntoreceivewarningfromastrangerbeforeitistoolatetoalteryourcourse，listento——'
　　Thethird:
　　'SIR，——WiththisletterIenclosetoyouanotherwhich，unaidedbyanyexplanationfromme，tellsastartlingtale。Iwish，however，toaddafewwordstomakeyourdelusionyetmorecleartoyou——
　　'
　　Itwasplainthat，aftertheserenouncedbeginnings，afourthletterhadbeenwrittenanddespatched，whichhadbeendeemedaproperone。Uponthetableweretwodropsofsealing-wax，thestickfromwhichtheyweretakenhavingbeenlaiddownoverhangingtheedgeofthetable；theendofitdrooped，showingthatthewaxwasplacedtherewhilstwarm。Therewasthechairinwhichthewriterhadsat，theimpressionoftheletter'saddressupontheblotting-paper，andthepoorwidowwhohadcausedtheseresultslyingdeadhardby。KnighthadseenenoughtoleadhimtotheconclusionthatMrs。Jethway，havingmatterofgreatimportancetocommunicatetosomefriendoracquaintance，hadwrittenhimaverycarefulletter，andgoneherselftopostit；thatshehadnotreturnedtothehousefromthattimeofleavingittillLordLuxellianandhimselfhadbroughtherbackdead。
　　Theunutterablemelancholyofthewholescene，ashewaitedon，silentandalone，didnotaltogetherclashwiththemoodofKnight，eventhoughhewastheaffiancedofafairandwinninggirl，andthoughsolatelyhehadbeeninhercompany。Whilstsittingontheremainsofthedemolishedtowerhehaddefinedanewsensation；thatthelengthenedcourseofinactionhehadlatelybeenindulginginonElfride'saccountmightprobablynotbegoodforhimasamanwhohadworktodo。Itcouldquicklybeputanendtobyhasteningonhismarriagewithher。
　　Knight，inhisownopinion，wasonewhohadmissedhismarkbyexcessiveaiming。Havingnow，toagreatextent，givenupidealambitions，hewishedearnestlytodirecthispowersintoamorepracticalchannel，andthuscorrecttheintrospectivetendencieswhichhadneverbroughthimselfmuchhappiness，ordonehisfellow-creaturesanygreatgood。Tomakeastartinthisnewdirectionbymarriage，which，sinceknowingElfride，hadbeensoentrancinganidea，waslessexquisiteto-night。Thatthecurtailmentofhisillusionregardingherhadsomethingtodowiththereaction，andwiththereturnofhisoldsentimentsonwastingtime，ismorethanprobable。ThoughKnight'shearthadsogreatlymasteredhim，themasterywasnotsocompleteastobeeasilymaintainedinthefaceofamoderateintellectualrevival。
　　Hisreveriewasbrokenbythesoundofwheels，andahorse'stramp。Thedooropenedtoadmitthesurgeon，LordLuxellian，andaMr。Coole，coronerforthedivisionwhohadbeenattendingatCastleBoterelthatveryday，andwashavinganafter-dinnerchatwiththedoctorwhenLordLuxellianarrived；nextcametwofemalenursesandsomeidlers。
　　Mr。Granson，afteracursoryexamination，pronouncedthewomandeadfromsuffocation，inducedbyintensepressureontherespiratoryorgans；andarrangementsweremadethattheinquiryshouldtakeplaceonthefollowingmorning，beforethereturnofthecoronertoSt。Launce's。
　　Shortlyafterwardsthehouseofthewidowwasdesertedbyallitslivingoccupants，andsheabodeindeath，asshehadinherlifeduringthepasttwoyears，entirelyalone。
　　ChapterXXXIV
　　'Yea，happyshallhebethatrewardeththeeasthouhastservedus。'
　　Sixteenhourshadpassed。Knightwasenteringtheladies'boudoiratTheCrags，uponhisreturnfromattendingtheinquesttouchingthedeathofMrs。Jethway。Elfridewasnotintheapartment。
　　Mrs。Swancourtmadeafewinquiriesconcerningtheverdictandcollateralcircumstances。Thenshesaid——
　　'Thepostmancamethismorningtheminuteafteryouleftthehouse。Therewasonlyoneletterforyou，andIhaveithere。'
　　Shetookaletterfromthelidofherworkbox，andhandedittohim。Knighttookthemissiveabstractedly，butstruckbyitsappearancemurmuredafewwordsandlefttheroom。
　　Theletterwasfastenedwithablackseal，andthehandwritinginwhichitwasaddressedhadlainunderhiseyes，longandprominently，onlytheeveningbefore。
　　Knightwasgreatlyagitated，andlookedaboutforaspotwherehemightbesecurefrominterruption。Itwastheseasonofheavydews，whichlayontheherbageinshadyplacesallthedaylong；
　　nevertheless，heenteredasmallpatchofneglectedgrass-platenclosedbytheshrubbery，andthereperusedtheletter，whichhehadopenedonhiswaythither。
　　Thehandwriting，theseal，thepaper，theintroductorywords，allhadtoldontheinstantthattheletterhadcometohimfromthehandsofthewidowJethway，nowdeadandcold。Hehadinstantlyunderstoodthattheunfinishednoteswhichcaughthiseyeyesternightwereintendedfornobodybuthimself。HehadrememberedsomeofthewordsofElfrideinhersleeponthesteamer，thatsomebodywasnottotellhimofsomething，oritwouldbeherruin——acircumstancehithertodeemedsotrivialandmeaninglessthathehadwell-nighforgottenit。Allthesethingsinfusedintohimanemotionintenseinpowerandsupremelydistressinginquality。Thepaperinhishandquiveredasheread:
　　'THEVALLEY，ENDELSTOW。
　　'SIR，——Awomanwhohasnotmuchintheworldtolosebyanycensurethisactmaybringuponher，wishestogiveyousomehintsconcerningaladyyoulove。Ifyouwilldeigntoacceptawarningbeforeitistoolate，youwillnoticewhatyourcorrespondenthastosay。
　　'Youaredeceived。Cansuchawomanasthisbeworthy？
　　'Onewhoencouragedanhonestyouthtoloveher，thenslightedhim，sothathedied。
　　'Onewhonexttookamanofnobirthasalover，whowasforbiddenthehousebyherfather。
　　'Onewhosecretlyleftherhometobemarriedtothatman，methim，andwentwithhimtoLondon。
　　'Onewho，forsomereasonorother，returnedagainunmarried。
　　'Onewho，inherafter-correspondencewithhim，wentsofarastoaddresshimasherhusband。
　　'Onewhowrotetheenclosedlettertoaskme，whobetterthananybodyelseknowsthestory，tokeepthescandalasecret。
　　'Ihopesoontobebeyondthereachofeitherblameorpraise。
　　ButbeforeremovingmeGodhasputitinmypowertoavengethedeathofmyson。
　　'GERTRUDEJETHWAY。'
　　TheletterenclosedwasthenoteinpencilthatElfridehadwritteninMrs。Jethway'scottage:
　　'DEARMRS。JETHWAY，——Ihavebeentovisityou。Iwantedmuchtoseeyou，butIcannotwaitanylonger。Icametobegyounottoexecutethethreatsyouhaverepeatedtome。Donot，Ibeseechyou，Mrs。Jethway，letanyoneknowIranawayfromhome!Itwouldruinmewithhim，andbreakmyheart。Iwilldoanythingforyou，ifyouwillbekindtome。Inthenameofourcommonwomanhood，donot，Iimploreyou，makeascandalofme——Yours，'E。SWANCOURT。
　　Knightturnedhisheadwearilytowardsthehouse。Thegroundroserapidlyonnearingtheshrubberyinwhichhestood，raisingitalmosttoalevelwiththefirstfloorofTheCrags。Elfride'sdressing-roomlayinthesalientangleinthisdirection，anditwaslightedbytwowindowsinsuchapositionthat，fromKnight'sstanding-place，hissightpassedthroughbothwindows，andrakedtheroom。Elfridewasthere；shewaspausingbetweenthetwowindows，lookingatherfigureinthecheval-glass。Sheregardedherselflongandattentivelyinfront；turned，flungbackherhead，andobservedthereflectionoverhershoulder。
　　Nobodycanpredicateastoherobjectorfancy；shemayhavedonethedeedintheveryabstractionofdeepsadness。Shemayhavebeenmoaningfromthebottomofherheart，'HowunhappyamI!'ButtheimpressionproducedonKnightwasnotagoodone。Hedroppedhiseyesmoodily。Thedeadwoman'sletterhadavirtueintheaccidentofitsjuncturefarbeyondanyitintrinsicallyexhibited。Circumstancelenttoevilwordsaringofpitilessjusticeechoingfromthegrave。Knightcouldnotenduretheirpossession。Hetoretheletterintofragments。
　　Heheardabrushingamongthebushesbehind，andturninghisheadhesawElfridefollowinghim。Thefairgirllookedinhisfacewithawistfulsmileofhope，tooforcedlyhopefultodisplacethefirmlyestablisheddreadbeneathit。Hisseverewordsofthepreviousnightstillsatheavyuponher。
　　'Isawyoufrommywindow，Harry，'shesaidtimidly。
　　'Thedewwillmakeyourfeetwet，'heobserved，asonedeaf。
　　'Idon'tmindit。'
　　'Thereisdangeringettingwetfeet。'
　　'Yes……Harry，whatisthematter？'
　　'Oh，nothing。ShallIresumetheseriousconversationIhadwithyoulastnight？No，perhapsnot；perhapsIhadbetternot。'
　　'Oh，Icannottell!Howwretcheditallis!Ah，Iwishyouwereyourowndearselfagain，andhadkissedmewhenIcameup!Whydidn'tyouaskmeforone？whydon'tyounow？'
　　'Toofreeinmannerbyhalf，'heheardmurmurthevoicewithinhim。
　　'Itwasthathatefulconversationlastnight，'shewenton。'Oh，thosewords!Lastnightwasablacknightforme。'
　　'Kiss!——Ihatethatword!Don'ttalkofkissing，forGod'ssake!I
　　shouldthinkyoumightwithadvantagehaveshowntactenoughtokeepbackthatword"kiss，"consideringthoseyouhaveaccepted。'
　　Shebecameverypale，andarigidanddesolatecharacterytookpossessionofherface。Thatfacewassodelicateandtenderinappearancenow，thatonecouldfancythepressureofafingeruponitwouldcausealividspot。
　　Knightwalkedon，andElfridewithhim，silentandunopposing。Heopenedagate，andtheyenteredapathacrossastubble-field。
　　'PerhapsIintrudeuponyou？'shesaidasheclosedthegate。
　　'ShallIgoaway？'
　　'No。Listentome，Elfride。'Knight'svoicewaslowandunequal。
　　'Ihavebeenhonestwithyou:willyoubesowithme？Ifany——
　　strange——connectionhasexistedbetweenyourselfandapredecessorofmine，tellitnow。ItisbetterthatIknowitnow，eventhoughtheknowledgeshouldpartus，thanthatIshoulddiscoveritintimetocome。Andsuspicionshavebeenawakenedinme。I
　　thinkIwillnotsayhow，becauseIdespisethemeans。A
　　discoveryofanymysteryofyourpastwouldembitterourlives。'
　　Knightwaitedwithaslowmannerofcalmness。Hiseyesweresadandimperative。Theywentfartheralongthepath。
　　'WillyouforgivemeifItellyouall？'sheexclaimedentreatingly。
　　'Ican'tpromise；somuchdependsuponwhatyouhavetotell。'
　　Elfridecouldnotendurethesilencewhichfollowed。
　　'Areyounotgoingtoloveme？'sheburstout。'Harry，Harry，loveme，andspeakasusual!Do；Ibeseechyou，Harry!'
　　'Areyougoingtoactfairlybyme？'saidKnight，withrisinganger；'orareyounot？WhathaveIdonetoyouthatIshouldbeputofflikethis？Becaughtlikeabirdinaspringe；everythingintendedtobehiddenfromme!Whyisit，Elfride？That'swhatI
　　askyou。'
　　Intheiragitationtheyhadleftthepath，andwerewanderingamongthewetandobstructivestubble，withoutknowingorheedingit。
　　'WhathaveIdone？'shefaltered。
　　'What？Howcanyouaskwhat，whenyouknowsowell？YouKNOWthatIhavedesignedlybeenkeptinignoranceofsomethingattachingtoyou，which，hadIknownofit，mighthavealteredallmyconduct；
　　andyetyousay，what？'
　　Shedroopedvisibly，andmadenoanswer。
　　'NotthatIbelieveinmaliciousletter-writersandwhisperers；
　　notI。Idon'tknowwhetherIdoordon't:uponmysoul，Ican'ttell。Iknowthis:areligionwasbuildingitselfuponyouinmyheart。Ilookedintoyoureyes，andthoughtIsawtheretruthandinnocenceaspureandperfectaseverembodiedbyGodinthefleshofwoman。Perfecttruthistoomuchtoexpect，butordinarytruthIWILLHAVEornothingatall。Justsay，then；isthematteryoukeepbackofthegravestimportance，orisitnot？'
　　'Idon'tunderstandallyourmeaning。IfIhavehiddenanythingfromyou，ithasbeenbecauseIlovedyouso，andIfeared——
　　feared——toloseyou。'
　　'Sinceyouarenotgiventoconfidence，Iwanttoaskyousomeplainquestions。HaveIyourpermission？'
　　'Yes，'shesaid，andtherecameoverherfaceawearyresignation。
　　'Saytheharshestwordsyoucan；Iwillbearthem!'
　　'Thereisascandalintheairconcerningyou，Elfride；andI
　　cannotevencombatitwithoutknowingdefinitelywhatitis。Itmaynotrefertoyouentirely，orevenatall。'Knighttrifledintheverybitternessofhisfeeling。'InthetimeoftheFrenchRevolution，Pariseau，aballet-master，wasbeheadedbymistakeforParisot，acaptainoftheKing'sGuard。Iwishtherewasanother"E。Swancourt"intheneighbourhood。Lookatthis。'
　　HehandedherthelettershehadwrittenandleftonthetableatMrs。Jethway's。Shelookedoveritvacantly。
　　'Itisnotsomuchasitseems!'shepleaded。'Itseemswickedlydeceptivetolookatnow，butithadamuchmorenaturaloriginthanyouthink。Mysolewishwasnottoendangerourlove。O
　　Harry!thatwasallmyidea。Itwasnotmuchharm。'
　　'Yes，yes；butindependentlyofthepoormiserablecreature'sremarks，itseemstoimply——somethingwrong。'
　　'Whatremarks？'
　　'Thoseshewroteme——nowtorntopieces。Elfride，DIDyourunawaywithamanyouloved？——thatwasthedamnablestatement。Hassuchanaccusationlifeinit——really，truly，Elfride？'
　　'Yes，'shewhispered。
　　Knight'scountenancesank。'Tobemarriedtohim？'camehuskilyfromhislips。
　　'Yes。Oh，forgiveme!Ihadneverseenyou，Harry。'
　　'ToLondon？'
　　'Yes；butI——'
　　'Answermyquestions；saynothingelse，ElfrideDidyoueverdeliberatelytrytomarryhiminsecret？'
　　'No；notdeliberately。'
　　'Butdidyoudoit？'
　　Afeebleredpassedoverherface。
　　'Yes，'shesaid。
　　'Andafterthat——didyou——writetohimasyourhusband；anddidheaddressyouashiswife？'
　　'Listen，listen!Itwas——'
　　'Doanswerme；onlyanswerme!'
　　'Then，yes，wedid。'Herlipsshook；butitwaswithsomelittledignitythatshecontinued:'Iwouldgladlyhavetoldyou；forI
　　knewandknowIhaddonewrong。ButIdarednot；Ilovedyoutoowell。Oh，sowell!Youhavebeeneverythingintheworldtome——
　　andyouarenow。Willyounotforgiveme？'
　　Itisamelancholythought，thatmenwhoatfirstwillnotallowtheverdictofperfectiontheypronounceupontheirsweetheartsorwivestobedisturbedbyGod'sowntestimonytothecontrary，will，oncesuspectingtheirpurity，morallyhangthemuponevidencetheywouldbeashamedtoadmitinjudgingadog。
　　Thereluctancetotell，whicharosefromElfride'ssimplicityinthinkingherselfsomuchmoreculpablethanshereallywas，hadbeendoingfatalworkinKnight'smind。Themanofmanyideas，nowthathisfirstdreamofimpossiblethingswasover，vibratedtoofarinthecontrarydirection；andhereverymovementoffeature——everytremor——everyconfusedword——wastakenassomuchproofofherunworthiness。
　　'Elfride，wemustbidgood-byetocompliment，'saidKnight:'wemustdowithoutpolitenessnow。Lookinmyface，andasyoubelieveinGodabove，tellmetrulyonethingmore。Wereyouawayalonewithhim？'
　　'Yes。'
　　'Didyoureturnhomethesamedayonwhichyouleftit？'
　　'No。'
　　Thewordfelllikeabolt，andtheverylandandskyseemedtosuffer。Knightturnedaside。MeantimeElfride'scountenanceworealookindicatingutterdespairofbeingabletoexplainmatterssothattheywouldseemnomorethantheyreallywere，——adespairwhichnotonlyrelinquishesthehopeofdirectexplanation，butwearilygivesupallcollateralchancesofextenuation。
　　ThescenewasengravedforyearsontheretinaofKnight'seye:
　　thedeadandbrownstubble，theweedsamongit，thedistantbeltofbeechesshuttingouttheviewofthehouse，theleavesofwhichwerenowredandsicktodeath。
　　'Youmustforgetme，'hesaid。'Weshallnotmarry，Elfride。'
　　Howmuchanguishpassedintohersoulatthosewordsfromhimwastoldbythelookofsupremetortureshewore。
　　'Whatmeaninghaveyou，Harry？Youonlysayso，doyou？'
　　Shelookeddoubtinglyupathim，andtriedtolaugh，asiftheunrealityofhiswordsmustbeunquestionable。
　　'Youarenotinearnest，Iknow——Ihopeyouarenot？SurelyI
　　belongtoyou，andyouaregoingtokeepmeforyours？'
　　'Elfride，Ihavebeenspeakingtooroughlytoyou；IhavesaidwhatIoughtonlytohavethought。Ilikeyou；andletmegiveyouawordofadvice。Marryyourmanassoonasyoucan。Howeverwearyofeachotheryoumayfeel，youbelongtoeachother，andI
　　amnotgoingtostepbetweenyou。DoyouthinkIwould——doyouthinkIcouldforamoment？Ifyoucannotmarryhimnow，andanothermakesyouhiswife，donotrevealthissecrettohimaftermarriage，ifyoudonotbefore。Honestywouldbedamnationthen。'
　　Bewilderedbyhisexpressions，sheexclaimed——
　　'No，no；IwillnotbeawifeunlessIamyours；andImustbeyours!'
　　'Ifwehadmarried——'
　　'Butyoudon'tMEAN——that——that——youwillgoawayandleaveme，andnotbeanythingmoretome——oh，youdon't!'
　　Convulsivesobstookallnerveoutofherutterance。Shecheckedthem，andcontinuedtolookinhisfacefortherayofhopethatwasnottobefoundthere。
　　'Iamgoingindoors，'saidKnight。'Youwillnotfollowme，Elfride；Iwishyounotto。'
　　'Ohno；indeed，Iwillnot。'
　　'AndthenIamgoingtoCastleBoterel。Good-bye。'
　　Hespokethefarewellasifitwerebutfortheday——lightly，ashehadspokensuchtemporaryfarewellsmanytimesbefore——andsheseemedtounderstanditassuch。Knighthadnotthepowertotellherplainlythathewasgoingforever；hehardlyknewforcertainthathewas:whetherheshouldrushbackagainuponthecurrentofanirresistibleemotion，orwhetherhecouldsufficientlyconquerhimself，andherinhim，toestablishthatpartingasasupremefarewell，andpresenthimselftotheworldagainasnowoman's。
　　Tenminuteslaterhehadleftthehouse，leavingdirectionsthatifhedidnotreturnintheeveninghisluggagewastobesenttohischambersinLondon，whenceheintendedtowritetoMr。
　　Swancourtastothereasonsofhissuddendeparture。Hedescendedthevalley，andcouldnotforbearturninghishead。Hesawthestubble-field，andaslightgirlishfigureinthemidstofit——upagainstthesky。Elfride，docileasever，hadhardlymovedastep，forhehadsaid，Remain。Helookedandsawheragain——hesawherforweeksandmonths。Hewithdrewhiseyesfromthescene，swepthishandacrossthem，asiftobrushawaythesight，breathedalowgroan，andwenton。
　　ChapterXXXV
　　'Andwiltthouleavemethus？——saynay——saynay!'
　　ThesceneshiftstoKnight'schambersinBede'sInn。ItwaslateintheeveningofthedayfollowinghisdeparturefromEndelstow。
　　AdrizzlingraindescendeduponLondon，formingahumidanddrearyhaloovereverywell-lightedstreet。Therainhadnotyetbeenprevalentlongenoughtogivetorapidvehiclesthatclearanddistinctrattlewhichfollowsthethoroughwashingofthestonesbyadrenchingrain，butwasjustsufficienttomakefootwayandroadwayslippery，adhesive，andcloggingtobothfeetandwheels。
　　Knightwasstandingbythefire，lookingintoitsexpiringembers，previouslytoemergingfromhisdoorforadrearyjourneyhometoRichmond。Hishatwason，andthegasturnedoff。Theblindofthewindowoverlookingthealleywasnotdrawndown；andwiththelightfrombeneath，whichshoneovertheceilingoftheroom，came，inplaceoftheusualbabble，onlythereducedclatterandquickspeechwhichweretheresultofnecessityratherthanchoice。
　　Whilsthethusstood，waitingfortheexpirationofthefewminutesthatwerewantingtothetimeforhiscatchingthetrain，alighttappinguponthedoormingledwiththeothersoundsthatreachedhisears。Itwassofaintatfirstthattheouternoiseswerealmostsufficienttodrownit。FindingitrepeatedKnightcrossedthelobby，crowdedwithbooksandrubbish，andopenedthedoor。
　　Awoman，closelymuffledup，butvisiblyoffragilebuild，wasstandingonthelandingunderthegaslight。Shesprangforward，flungherarmsroundKnight'sneck，andutteredalowcry——
　　'OHarry，Harry，youarekillingme!Icouldnothelpcoming。
　　Don'tsendmeaway——don't!ForgiveyourElfrideforcoming——Iloveyouso!'
　　Knight'sagitationandastonishmentmasteredhimforafewmoments。
　　'Elfride!'hecried，'whatdoesthismean？Whathaveyoudone？'
　　'Donothurtmeandpunishme——Oh，donot!Icouldn'thelpcoming；
　　itwaskillingme。Lastnight，whenyoudidnotcomeback，I
　　couldnotbearit——Icouldnot!Onlyletmebewithyou，andseeyourface，Harry；Idon'taskformore。'
　　Hereyelidswerehot，heavy，andthickwithexcessiveweeping，andthedelicaterose-redofhercheekswasdisfiguredandinflamedbytheconstantchafingofthehandkerchiefinwipinghermanytears。
　　'Whoiswithyou？Haveyoucomealone？'hehurriedlyinquired。
　　'Yes。Whenyoudidnotcomelastnight，Isatuphopingyouwouldcome——andthenightwasallagony——andIwaitedonandon，andyoudidnotcome!Thenwhenitwasmorning，andyourlettersaidyouweregone，Icouldnotendureit；andIranawayfromthemtoSt。
　　Launce's，andcamebythetrain。AndIhavebeenalldaytravellingtoyou，andyouwon'tmakemegoawayagain，willyou，Harry，becauseIshallalwaysloveyoutillIdie？'
　　'Yetitiswrongforyoutostay。OElfride!whathaveyoucommittedyourselfto？Itisruintoyourgoodnametoruntomelikethis!Hasnotyourfirstexperiencebeensufficienttokeepyoufromthesethings？'
　　'Myname!Harry，Ishallsoondie，andwhatgoodwillmynamebetomethen？Oh，couldIbutbethemanandyouthewoman，Iwouldnotleaveyouforsuchalittlefaultasmine!Donotthinkitwassovileathinginmetorunawaywithhim。Ah，howIwishyoucouldhaverunawaywithtwentywomenbeforeyouknewme，thatI
　　mightshowyouIwouldthinkitnofault，butbegladtogetyouafterthemall，sothatIhadyou!Ifyouonlyknewmethroughandthrough，howtrueIam，Harry。CannotIbeyours？Sayyoulovemejustthesame，anddon'tletmebeseparatedfromyouagain，willyou？Icannotbearit——allthelonghoursanddaysandnightsgoingon，andyounotthere，butawaybecauseyouhateme!'
　　'Nothateyou，Elfride，'hesaidgently，andsupportedherwithhisarm。'Butyoucannotstayherenow——justatpresent，Imean。'
　　'IsupposeImustnot——IwishImight。Iamafraidthatif——youlosesightofme——somethingdarkwillhappen，andweshallnotmeetagain。Harry，ifIamnotgoodenoughtobeyourwife，I
　　wishIcouldbeyourservantandlivewithyou，andnotbesentawaynevertoseeyouagain。Idon'tmindwhatitisexceptthat!'