havebeenratherabsurdinmyavoidanceofwomen。Ihavenevergivenawomanakissinmylife，exceptyourselfandmymother。'
　　Themanoftwoandthirtywiththeexperiencedmindwarmedalloverwithaboy'singenuousshameashemadetheconfession。
　　'What，notone？'shefaltered。
　　'No；notone。'
　　'Howverystrange!'
　　'Yes，thereverseexperiencemaybecommoner。Andyet，tothosewhohaveobservedtheirownsex，asIhave，mycaseisnotremarkable。Menabouttownarewomen'sfavourites——that'sthepostulate——andsuperficialpeopledon'tthinkfarenoughtoseethattheremaybereserved，lonelyexceptions。'
　　'Areyouproudofit，Harry？'
　　'No，indeed。OflateyearsIhavewishedIhadgonemywaysandtrodoutmymeasurelikelighter-heartedmen。IhavethoughtofhowmanyhappyexperiencesImayhavelostthroughnevergoingtowoo。'
　　'Thenwhydidyouholdaloof？'
　　'Icannotsay。Idon'tthinkitwasmynatureto:circumstancehinderedme，perhaps。Ihaveregretteditforanotherreason。
　　Thisgreatremissnessofminehashaditseffectuponme。TheolderIhavegrown，themoredistinctlyhaveIperceivedthatitwasabsolutelypreventingmefromlikinganywomanwhowasnotasunpractisedasI；andIgaveuptheexpectationoffindinganineteenth-centuryyoungladyinmyownrawstate。ThenIfoundyou，Elfride，andlfeltforthefirsttimethatmyfastidiousnesswasablessing。Andithelpedtomakemeworthyofyou。Ifeltatoncethat，differingaswedidinotherexperiences，inthismatterIresembledyou。Well，aren'tyougladtohearit，Elfride？'
　　'Yes，Iam，'sheansweredinaforcedvoice。'ButIalwayshadthoughtthatmenmadelotsofengagementsbeforetheymarried——
　　especiallyiftheydon'tmarryveryyoung。'
　　'Soallwomenthink，Isuppose——andrightly，indeed，ofthemajorityofbachelors，asIsaidbefore。Butanappreciableminorityofslow-coachmendonot——anditmakesthemveryawkwardwhentheydocometothepoint。However，itdidn'tmatterinmycase。'
　　'Why？'sheaskeduneasily。
　　'Becauseyouknowevenlessoflove-makingandmatrimonialprearrangementthanI，andsoyoucan'tdrawinvidiouscomparisonsifIdomyengagingimproperly。'
　　'Ithinkyoudoitbeautifully!'
　　'Thankyou，dear。But，'continuedKnightlaughingly，'youropinionisnotthatofanexpert，whichaloneisofvalue。'
　　Hadsheanswered，'Yes，itis，'halfasstronglyasshefeltit，Knightmighthavebeenalittleastonished。
　　'Ifyouhadeverbeenengagedtobemarriedbefore，'hewenton，'Iexpectyouropinionofmyaddresseswouldbedifferent。Butthen，Ishouldnot——'
　　'Shouldnotwhat，Harry？'
　　'Oh，IwasmerelygoingtosaythatinthatcaseIshouldneverhavegivenmyselfthepleasureofproposingtoyou，sinceyourfreedomfromthatexperiencewasyourattraction，darling。'
　　'Youaresevereonwomen，areyounot？'
　　'No，Ithinknot。Ihadarighttopleasemytaste，andthatwasforuntriedlips。Othermenthanthoseofmysortacquirethetasteastheygetolder——butdon'tfindanElfride——'
　　'Whathorridsoundisthatwehearwhenwepitchforward？'
　　'Onlythescrew——don'tfindanElfrideasIdid。TothinkthatI
　　shouldhavediscoveredsuchanunseenflowerdownthereintheWest——towhomamanisasmuchasamultitudetosomewomen，andatripdowntheEnglishChannellikeavoyageroundtheworld!'
　　'Andwouldyou，'shesaid，andhervoicewastremulous，'havegivenupalady——ifyouhadbecomeengagedtoher——andthenfoundshehadhadONEkissbeforeyours——andwouldyouhave——goneawayandlefther？'
　　'Onekiss，——no，hardlyforthat。'
　　'Two？'
　　'Well——Icouldhardlysayinventoriallylikethat。Toomuchofthatsortofthingcertainlywouldmakemedislikeawoman。Butletusconfineourattentiontoourselves，notgothinkingofmighthavebeens。'
　　SoElfridehadallowedherthoughtsto'dallywithfalsesurmise，'
　　andeveryoneofKnight'swordsfelluponherlikeaweight。
　　Afterthistheyweresilentforalongtime，gazingupontheblackmysterioussea，andhearingthestrangevoiceoftherestlesswind。Arockingtoandfroonthewaves，whenthebreezeisnottooviolentandcold，producesasoothingeffectevenuponthemosthighly-wroughtmind。ElfrideslowlysankagainstKnight，andlookingdown，hefoundbyhersoftregularbreathingthatshehadfallenasleep。Notwishingtodisturbher，hecontinuedstill，andtookanintensepleasureinsupportingherwarmyoungformasitroseandfellwithhereverybreath。
　　Knightfelltodreamingtoo，thoughhecontinuedwideawake。Itwaspleasanttorealizetheimplicittrustsheplacedinhim，andtothinkofthecharminginnocenceofonewhocouldsinktosleepinsosimpleandunceremoniousamanner。Morethanall，themusingunpracticalstudentfelttheimmenseresponsibilityhewastakinguponhimselfbybecomingtheprotectorandguideofsuchatrustingcreature。Thequietslumberofhersoullentaquietnesstohisown。Thenshemoaned，andturnedherselfrestlessly。
　　Presentlyhermutteringsbecamedistinct:
　　'Don'ttellhim——hewillnotloveme……Ididnotmeananydisgrace——indeedIdidnot，sodon'ttellHarry。Weweregoingtobemarried——thatwaswhyIranaway……Andhesayshewillnothaveakissedwoman……Andifyoutellhimhewillgoaway，andI
　　shalldie。Iprayhavemercy——Oh!'
　　Elfridestartedupwildly。
　　Thepreviousmomentamusicalding-donghadspreadintotheairfromtheirrighthand，andawakenedher。
　　'Whatisit？'sheexclaimedinterror。
　　'Only"eightbells，"'saidKnightsoothingly。'Don'tbefrightened，littlebird，youaresafe。Whathaveyoubeendreamingabout？'
　　'Ican'ttell，Ican'ttell!'shesaidwithashudder。'Oh，I
　　don'tknowwhattodo!'
　　'Stayquietlywithme。Weshallsoonseethedawnnow。Look，themorningstarislovelyoverthere。Thecloudshavecompletelyclearedoffwhilstyouhavebeensleeping。Whathaveyoubeendreamingof？'
　　'Awomaninourparish。'
　　'Don'tyoulikeher？'
　　'Idon't。Shedoesn'tlikeme。Wherearewe？'
　　'AboutsouthoftheExe。'
　　Knightsaidnomoreonthewordsofherdream。TheywatchedtheskytillElfridegrewcalm，andthedawnappeared。Itwasmerewanlightnessfirst。Thenthewindblewinachangedspirit，anddiedawaytoazephyr。Thestardissolvedintotheday。
　　'That'showIshouldliketodie，'saidElfride，risingfromherseatandleaningoverthebulwarktowatchthestar'slastexpiringgleam。
　　'Asthelinessay，'Knightreplied——
　　'"Tosetassetsthemorningstar，whichgoesNotdownbehindthedarken'dwest，norhidesObscuredamongthetempestsofthesky，Butmeltsawayintothelightofheaven。”'
　　'Oh，otherpeoplehavethoughtthesamething，havethey？That'salwaysthecasewithmyoriginalities——theyareoriginaltonobodybutmyself。'
　　'Notonlythecasewithyours。WhenIwasayounghandatreviewingIusedtofindthatafrightfulpitfall——dilatinguponsubjectsImetwith，whichwerenoveltiestome，andfindingafterwardstheyhadbeenexhaustedbythethinkingworldwhenI
　　wasinpinafores。'
　　'Thatisdelightful。WheneverIfindyouhavedoneafoolishthingIamglad，becauseitseemstobringyoualittlenearertome，whohavedonemany。'AndElfridethoughtagainofherenemyasleepunderthedecktheytrod。
　　Allupthecoast，prominencessingledthemselvesoutfromrecesses。Thenarosyskyspreadovertheeasternseaandbehindthelowlineofland，flingingitsliveryindashesuponthethinairycloudsinthatdirection。Everyprojectiononthelandseemednowsomanyfingersanxioustocatchalittleoftheliquidlightthrownsoprodigallyoverthesky，andafterafantastictimeoflustrousyellowsintheeast，thehigherelevationsalongtheshorewerefloodedwiththesamehues。ThebluffandbarecontoursofStartPointcaughtthebrightest，earliestglowofall，andsoalsodidthesidesofitswhitelighthouse，percheduponashelfinitsprecipitousfrontlikeamediaevalsaintinaniche。TheirloftyneighbourBoltHeadontheleftremainedasyetungilded，andretaineditsgray。
　　Thenupcamethesun，asitwereinjerks，justtoseawardoftheeasternmostpointofland，flingingoutaJacob's-ladderpathoflightfromitselftoElfrideandKnight，andcoatingthemwithraysinafewminutes。Theinferiordignitariesoftheshore——
　　FrowardPoint，BerryHead，andPrawle——allhadacquiredtheirshareoftheilluminationerethis，andatlengththeverysmallestprotuberanceofwave，cliff，orinlet，eventotheinnermostrecessesofthelovelyvalleyoftheDart，haditsportion；andsunlight，nowthecommonpossessionofall，ceasedtobethewonderfulandcovetedthingithadbeenashorthalfhourbefore。
　　Afterbreakfast，Plymoutharoseintoview，andgrewdistinctertotheirnearingvision，theBreakwaterappearinglikeastreakofphosphoriclightuponthesurfaceofthesea。ElfridelookedfurtivelyaroundforMrs。Jethway，butcoulddiscernnoshapelikehers。Afterwards，inthebustleoflanding，shelookedagainwiththesameresult，bywhichtimethewomanhadprobablyglideduponthequayunobserved。Expandingwithasenseofrelief，ElfridewaitedwhilstKnightlookedtotheirluggage，andthensawherfatherapproachingthroughthecrowd，twirlinghiswalking-sticktocatchtheirattention。Elbowingtheirwaytohimtheyallenteredthetown，whichsmiledassunnyasmileuponElfrideasithaddonebetweenoneandtwoyearsearlier，whenshehadentereditatpreciselythesamehourasthebride-electofStephenSmith。
　　ChapterXXX
　　'VassaluntoLove。'
　　ElfrideclungclosertoKnightasdaysucceededday。Whateverelsemightadmitofquestion，therecouldbenodisputethattheallegiancesheborehimabsorbedherwholesoulandexistence。A
　　greaterthanStephenhadarisen，andshehadleftalltofollowhim。
　　Theunreservedgirlwasnevercharyoflettingherloverdiscoverhowmuchsheadmiredhim。Sheneveronceheldanideainoppositiontoanyoneofhis，orinsistedonanypointwithhim，orshowedanyindependence，orheldherownonanysubject。Hislightestwhimsherespectedandobeyedaslaw，andif，expressingheropiniononamatter，hetookupthesubjectanddifferedfromher，sheinstantlythrewdownherownopinionaswronganduntenable。Evenherambiguitiesandespiegleriewerebutmediaofthesamemanifestation；actedcharades，embodyingthewordsofherprototype，thetenderandsusceptibledaughter-in-lawofNaomi:
　　'Letmefindfavourinthysight，mylord；forthatthouhastcomfortedme，andforthatthouhastspokenfriendlyuntothinehandmaid。'
　　Shewassyringingtheplantsonewetdayinthegreenhouse。
　　Knightwassittingunderagreatpassion-flowerobservingthescene。Sometimeshelookedoutattherainfromthesky，andthenatElfride'sinnerrainoflargerdrops，whichfellfromtreesandshrubs，afterhavingpreviouslyhungfromthetwigslikesmallsilverfruit。
　　'Imustgiveyousomethingtomakeyouthinkofmeduringthisautumnatyourchambers，'shewassaying。'Whatshallitbe？
　　Portraitsdomoreharmthangood，byselectingtheworstexpressionofwhichyourfaceiscapable。Hairisunlucky。Andyoudon'tlikejewellery。'
　　'Somethingwhichshallbringbacktomymindthemanysceneswehaveenactedinthisconservatory。IseewhatIshouldprizeverymuch。Thatdwarfmyrtletreeinthepot，whichyouhavebeensocarefullytending。'
　　Elfridelookedthoughtfullyatthemyrtle。
　　'Icancarryitcomfortablyinmyhatbox，'saidKnight。'AndI
　　willputitinmywindow，andso，itbeingalwaysbeforemyeyes，Ishallthinkofyoucontinually。'
　　ItsohappenedthatthemyrtlewhichKnighthadsingledouthadapeculiarbeginningandhistory。IthadoriginallybeenatwigworninStephenSmith'sbutton-hole，andhehadtakenitthence，stuckitintothepot，andtoldherthatifitgrew，shewastotakecareofit，andkeepitinremembranceofhimwhenhewasfaraway。
　　Shelookedwistfullyattheplant，andasenseoffairnesstoSmith'smemorycausedherapangofregretthatKnightshouldhaveaskedforthatveryone。Itseemedexceedingacommonheartlessnesstoletitgo。
　　'Istherenotanythingyoulikebetter？'shesaidsadly。'Thatisonlyanordinarymyrtle。'
　　'No:Iamfondofmyrtle。'Seeingthatshedidnottakekindlytotheidea，hesaidagain，'Whydoyouobjecttomyhavingthat？'
　　'Ohno——Idon'tobjectprecisely——itwasafeeling——Ah，here'sanothercuttinglatelystruck，andjustassmall——ofabetterkind，andwithprettierleaves——myrtusmicrophylla。'
　　'Thatwilldonicely。Letitbeputinmyroom，thatImaynotforgetit。Whatromanceattachestotheother？'
　　'Itwasagifttome。'
　　Thesubjectthendropped。Knightthoughtnomoreofthemattertill，onenteringhisbedroomintheevening，hefoundthesecondmyrtleplaceduponhisdressing-tableashehaddirected。Hestoodforamomentadmiringthefreshappearanceoftheleavesbycandlelight，andthenhethoughtofthetransactionoftheday。
　　Maleloversaswellasfemalecanbespoiltbytoomuchkindness，andElfride'suniformsubmissivenesshadgivenKnightaratherexactingmanneratcrises，attachedtoherashewas。'WhyshouldshehaverefusedtheoneIfirstchose？'henowaskedhimself。
　　Evensuchslightoppositionasshehadshownthenwasexceptionalenoughtomakeitselfnoticeable。Hewasnotvexedwithherintheleast:themerevariationofherwayto-dayfromherusualwayskepthimmusingonthesubject，becauseitperplexedhim。
　　'Itwasagift'——thosewereherwords。Admittingittobeagift，hethoughtshecouldhardlyvalueamerefriendmorethanshevaluedhimasalover，andgivingtheplantintohischargewouldhavemadenodifference。'Except，indeed，itwasthegiftofalover，'hemurmured。
　　'IwonderifElfridehaseverhadaloverbefore？'hesaidaloud，asanewidea，quite。Thisandcompanionthoughtswereenoughtooccupyhimcompletelytillhefellasleep——ratherlaterthanusual。
　　Thenextday，whentheywereagainalone，hesaidtoherrathersuddenly——
　　'Doyoulovememoreorless，Elfie，forwhatItoldyouonboardthesteamer？'
　　'Youtoldmesomanythings，'shereturned，liftinghereyestohisandsmiling。
　　'Imeantheconfessionyoucoaxedoutofme——thatIhadneverbeeninthepositionofloverbefore。'
　　'Itisasatisfaction，Isuppose，tobethefirstinyourheart，'
　　shesaidtohim，withanattempttocontinuehersmiling。
　　'Iamgoingtoaskyouaquestionnow，'saidKnight，somewhatawkwardly。'Ionlyaskitinawhimsicalway，youknow:notwithgreatseriousness，Elfride。Youmaythinkitodd，perhaps。'
　　Elfridetrieddesperatelytokeepthecolourinherface。Shecouldnot，thoughdistressedtothinkthatgettingpaleshowedconsciousnessofdeeperguiltthanmerelygettingred。
　　'Ohno——Ishallnotthinkthat，'shesaid，becauseobligedtosaysomethingtofillthepausewhichfollowedherquestioner'sremark。
　　'Itisthis:haveyoueverhadalover？Iamalmostsureyouhavenot；but，haveyou？'
　　'Not，asitwere，alover；Imean，notworthmentioning，Harry，'
　　shefaltered。
　　Knight，overstrainedinsentimentasheknewthefeelingtobe，feltsomesicknessofheart。
　　'Still，hewasalover？'
　　'Well，asortoflover，Isuppose，'sherespondedtardily。
　　'Aman，Imean，youknow。'
　　'Yes；butonlyamereperson，and——'
　　'Buttrulyyourlover？'
　　'Yes；alovercertainly——hewasthat。Yes，hemighthavebeencalledmylover。'
　　Knightsaidnothingtothisforaminuteormore，andkeptsilenttimewithhisfingertothetickoftheoldlibraryclock，inwhichroomthecolloquywasgoingon。
　　'Youdon'tmind，Harry，doyou？'shesaidanxiously，nestlingclosetohim，andwatchinghisface。
　　'Ofcourse，Idon'tseriouslymind。Inreason，amancannotobjecttosuchatrifle。Ionlythoughtyouhadn't——thatwasall。'
　　However，oneraywasabstractedfromthegloryaboutherhead。
　　Butafterwards，whenKnightwaswanderingbyhimselfoverthebareandbreezyhills，andmeditatingonthesubject，thatraysuddenlyreturned。Forshemighthavehadalover，andneverhavecaredintheleastforhim。Shemighthaveusedthewordimproperly，andmeant'admirer'allthetime。Ofcourseshehadbeenadmired；andonemanmighthavemadehisadmirationmoreprominentthanthatoftherest——averynaturalcase。
　　Theyweresittingononeofthegardenseatswhenhefoundoccasiontoputthesuppositiontothetest。'Didyoulovethatloveroradmirerofyourseversolittle，Elfie？'
　　Shemurmuredreluctantly，'Yes，IthinkIdid。'
　　Knightfeltthesamefainttouchofmisery。'Onlyaverylittle？'
　　hesaid。
　　'Iamnotsurehowmuch。'
　　'Butyouaresure，darling，youlovedhimalittle？'
　　'IthinkIamsureIlovedhimalittle。'
　　'Andnotagreatdeal，Elfie？'
　　'Mylovewasnotsupportedbyreverenceforhispowers。'
　　'But，Elfride，didyoulovehimdeeply？'saidKnightrestlessly。
　　'Idon'texactlyknowhowdeepyoumeanbydeeply。'
　　'That'snonsense。'
　　'Youmisapprehend；andyouhaveletgomyhand!'shecried，hereyesfillingwithtears。'Harry，don'tbeseverewithme，anddon'tquestionme。IdidnotlovehimasIdoyou。AndcoulditbedeeplyifIdidnotthinkhimclevererthanmyself？ForIdidnot。Yougrievemesomuch——youcan'tthink。'
　　'Iwillnotsayanotherwordaboutit。'
　　'Andyouwillnotthinkaboutit，either，willyou？IknowyouthinkofweaknessesinmeafterIamoutofyoursight；andnotknowingwhattheyare，Icannotcombatthem。Ialmostwishyouwereofagrossernature，Harry；intruthIdo!Orrather，IwishIcouldhavetheadvantagessuchanatureinyouwouldaffordme，andyethaveyouasyouare。'
　　'Whatadvantageswouldtheybe？'
　　'Lessanxiety，andmoresecurity。Ordinarymenarenotsodelicateintheirtastesasyou；andwheretheloverorhusbandisnotfastidious，andrefined，andofadeepnature，thingsseemtogoonbetter，Ifancy——asfarasIhavebeenabletoobservetheworld。'
　　'Yes；Isupposeitisright。Shallownesshasthisadvantage，thatyoucan'tbedrownedthere。'
　　'ButIthinkI'llhaveyouasyouare；yes，Iwill!'shesaidwinsomely。'Thepracticalhusbandsandwiveswhotakethingsphilosophicallyareveryhumdrum，aretheynot？Yes，itwouldkillmequite。Youpleasemebestasyouare。'