Therewouldbefightsinthestreetperhaps，andabundanceofribbons，flags，andbadges，ofthetwocolours。Onecrowdwouldsing，"KeeptheRedFlagFlying，"andtheother，"TheWearingoftheGreen。”Butwhenthelastefforthadbeenmadeandthelastmomentcome，whentwocrowdswerewaitinginthedarkoutsidethepublicbuildingtohearthedeclarationofthepoll，thenbothsidesalikewouldsaythatitwasnowfordemocracytodoexactlywhatitchose。Englandherself，liftingherheadinawfullonelinessandliberty，mustspeakandpronouncejudgment。
　　Yetthismightnotbeexactlytrue。Englandherself，liftingherheadinawfullonelinessandliberty，mightreallywishMr。Asquithtobepaleblue。ThedemocracyofEnglandintheabstract，ifithadbeenallowedtomakeupapolicyforitself，mighthavedesiredhimtobeblackwithpinkspots。Itmightevenhavelikedhimasheisnow。Butahugeapparatusofwealth，power，andprintedmatterhasmadeitpracticallyimpossibleforthemtobringhometheseotherproposals，eveniftheywouldreallypreferthem。Nocandidateswillstandinthespottedinterest；forcandidatescommonlyhavetoproducemoneyeitherfromtheirownpocketsorthepasty's；andinsuchcirclesspotsarenotworn。NomaninthesocialpositionofaCabinetMinister，perhaps，willcommithimselftothepale-bluetheoryofMr。Asquith；thereforeitcannotbeaGovernmentmeasure，thereforeitcannotpass。
　　Nearlyallthegreatnewspapers，bothpompousandfrivolous，willdeclaredogmaticallydayafterday，untileveryonehalfbelievesit，thatredandgreenaretheonlytwocoloursinthepaint-box。THEOBSERVERwillsay:"NoonewhoknowsthesolidframeworkofpoliticsortheemphaticfirstprinciplesofanImperialpeoplecansupposeforamomentthatthereisanypossiblecompromisetobemadeinsuchamatter；wemusteitherfulfilourmanifestracialdestinyandcrowntheedificeofageswiththeaugustfigureofaGreenPremier，orwemustabandonourheritage，breakourpromisetotheEmpire，flingourselvesintofinalanarchy，andallowtheflaminganddemoniacimageofaRedPremiertohoveroverourdissolutionandourdoom。”TheDAILYMAILwouldsay:
　　"Thereisnohalfwayhouseinthismatter；itmustbegreenorred。WewishtoseeeveryhonestEnglishmanonecolourortheother。”AndthensomefunnymaninthepopularPresswouldstarthesentencewithapun，andsaythattheDAILYMAILlikeditsreaderstobegreenanditspapertoberead。Butnoonewouldevendaretowhisperthatthereissuchathingasyellow。
　　Forthepurposesofpurelogicitisclearertoarguewithsillyexamplesthanwithsensibleones:becausesillyexamplesaresimple。ButIcouldgivemanygraveandconcretecasesofthekindofthingtowhichIrefer。
　　InthelaterpartoftheBoerWarbothpartiesperpetuallyinsistedineveryspeechandpamphletthatannexationwasinevitableandthatitwasonlyaquestionwhetherLiberalsorToriesshoulddoit。Itwasnotinevitableintheleast；itwouldhavebeenperfectlyeasytomakepeacewiththeBoersasChristiannationscommonlymakepeacewiththeirconqueredenemies。PersonallyIthinkthatitwouldhavebeenbetterforusinthemostselfishsense，betterforourpocketandprestige，ifwehadnevereffectedtheannexationatall；butthatisamatterofopinion。
　　Whatisplainisthatitwasnotinevitable；itwasnot，aswassaid，theonlypossiblecourse；therewereplentyofothercourses；therewereplentyofothercoloursinthebox。Again，inthediscussionaboutSocialism，itisrepeatedlyrubbedintothepublicmindthatwemustchoosebetweenSocialismandsomehorriblethingthattheycallIndividualism。Idon'tknowwhatitmeans，butitseemstomeanthatanybodywhohappenstopulloutaplumistoadoptthemoralphilosophyoftheyoungHorner——andsaywhatagoodboyheisforhelpinghimself。
　　ItiscalmlyassumedthattheonlytwopossibletypesofsocietyareaCollectivisttypeofsocietyandthepresentsocietythatexistsatthismomentandisratherlikeananimatedmuck-heap。ItisquiteunnecessarytosaythatIshouldpreferSocialismtothepresentstateofthings。I
　　shouldpreferanarchismtothepresentstateofthings。ButitissimplynotthefactthatCollectivismistheonlyotherschemeforamoreequalorder。ACollectivisthasaperfectrighttothinkittheonlysoundscheme；butitisnottheonlyplausibleorpossiblescheme。Wemighthavepeasantproprietorship；wemighthavethecompromiseofHenryGeorge；
　　wemighthaveanumberoftinycommunes；wemighthaveco-operation；wemighthaveAnarchistCommunism；wemighthaveahundredthings。Iamnotsayingthatanyoftheseareright，thoughIcannotimaginethatanyofthemcouldbeworsethanthepresentsocialmadhouse，withitstop-heavyrichanditstorturedpoor；butIsaythatitisanevidenceofthestiffandnarrowalternativeofferedtothecivicmind，thatthecivicmindisnot，generallyspeaking，consciousoftheseotherpossibilities。Thecivicmindisnotfreeoralertenoughtofeelhowmuchithastheworldbeforeit。
　　ThereareatleasttensolutionsoftheEducationquestion，andnooneknowswhichEnglishmenreallywant。ForEnglishmenareonlyallowedtovoteaboutthetwowhichareatthatmomentofferedbythePremierandtheLeaderoftheOpposition。Therearetensolutionsofthedrinkquestion；andnooneknowswhichthedemocracywants；forthedemocracyisonlyallowedtofightaboutoneLicensingBillatatime。
　　Sothatthesituationcomestothis:Thedemocracyhasarighttoanswerquestions，butithasnorighttoaskthem。Itisstillthepoliticalaristocracythatasksthequestions。Andweshallnotbeunreasonablycynicalifwesupposethatthepoliticalaristocracywillalwaysberathercarefulwhatquestionsitasks。Andifthedangerouscomfortandself-flatteryofmodernEnglandcontinuesmuchlongertherewillbelessdemocraticvalueinanEnglishelectionthaninaRomansaturnaliaofslaves。Forthepowerfulclasswillchoosetwocoursesofaction，bothofthemsafeforitself，andthengivethedemocracythegratificationoftakingonecourseortheother。Thelordwilltaketwothingssomuchalikethathewouldnotmindchoosingfromthemblindfold——andthenforagreatjesthewillallowtheslavestochoose。
　　THEMADOFFICIAL
　　Goingmadistheslowestanddullestbusinessintheworld。Ihaveverynearlydoneitmorethanonceinmyboyhood，andsohavenearlyallmyfriends，bornunderthegeneraldoomofmortals，butespeciallyofmoderns；Imeanthedoomthatmakesamancomealmosttotheendofthinkingbeforehecomestothefirstchanceofliving。
　　Buttheprocessofgoingmadisdull，forthesimplereasonthatamandoesnotknowthatitisgoingon。Routineandliteralismandacertaindry-throatedearnestnessandmentalthirst，thesearetheveryatmosphereofmorbidity。Ifoncethemancouldbecomeconsciousofhismadness，hewouldceasetobeman。HestudiescertaintextsinDanielorcryptogramsinShakespearethroughmonstrouslymagnifyingspectacles，whichareonhisnosenightandday。Ifoncehecouldtakeoffthespectacleshewouldsmashthem。HededucesallhisfantasiesabouttheSixthSealortheAnglo-SaxonRacefromoneunexaminedandinvisiblefirstprinciple。
　　Ifhecouldonceseethefirstprinciple，hewouldseethatitisnotthere。
　　Thisslowandawfulself-hypnotismoferrorisaprocessthatcanoccurnotonlywithindividuals，butalsowithwholesocieties。Itishardtopickoutandprove；thatiswhyitishardtocure。Butthismentaldegenerationmaybebroughttoonetest，whichItrulybelievetobearealtest。Anationisnotgoingmadwhenitdoe'sextravagantthings，solongasitdoestheminanextravagantspirit。CrusadersnotcuttingtheirbeardstilltheyfoundJerusalem，JacobinscallingeachotherHarmodiusandEpaminondaswhentheirnameswereJacquesandJules，thesearewildthings，buttheyweredoneinwildspiritsatawildmoment。
　　Butwheneverweseethingsdonewildly，buttakentamely，thentheStateisgrowinginsane。Forinstance，Ihaveagunlicense。ForallIknow，thiswouldlogicallyallowmetofireofffiftynineenormousfield-gunsdayandnightinmybackgarden。Ishouldnotbesurprisedatamandoingit；foritwouldbegreatfun。ButIshouldbesurprisedattheneighboursputtingupwithit，andregardingitasanordinarythingmerelybecauseitmighthappentofulfiltheletterofmylicense。
　　Or，again，Ihaveadoglicense；andImayhavetherightforallI
　　knowtoturntenthousandwilddogslooseinBuckinghamshire。Ishouldnotbesurprisedifthelawwerelikethat；becauseinmodernEnglandthereispracticallynolawtobesurprisedat。Ishouldnotbesurprisedevenatthemanwhodidit；foracertainkindofman，ifhelivedlongundertheEnglishlandlordsystem，mightdoanything。ButI
　　shouldbesurprisedatthepeoplewhoconsentedtostandit。Ishould，inotherwords，thinktheworldalittlemadiftheincident，werereceivedinsilence。
　　Nowthingseverybitaswildasthisarebeingreceivedinsilenceeveryday。Allstrokessliponthesmoothnessofapolishedwall。Ailblowsfallsoundlessonthesoftnessofapaddedcell。Formadnessisapassiveaswellasanactivestate:itisaparalysis，arefusalofthenervestorespondtothenormalstimuli，aswellasanunnaturalstimulation。Therearecommonwealths，plainlytobedistinguishedhereandthereinhistory，whichpassfromprosperitytosqualor，orfromglorytoinsignificance，orfromfreedomtoslavery，notonlyinsilence，butwithserenity。Thefacestillsmileswhilethelimbs，literallyandloathsomely，aredroppingfromthebody。Thesearepeoplesthathavelostthepowerofastonishmentattheirownactions。Whentheygivebirthtoafantasticfashionorafoolishlaw，theydonotstartorstareatthemonstertheyhavebroughtforth。Theyhavegrownusedtotheirownunreason；chaosistheircosmos；andthewhirlwindisthebreathoftheirnostrils。Thesenationsarereallyindangerofgoingofftheirheadsenmasse；ofbecomingonevastvisionofimbecility，withtopplingcitiesandcrazycountry-sides，alldottedwithindustriouslunatics。
　　OneofthesecountriesismodernEngland。
　　Nowhereisanactualinstance，asmalleaseofhowoursocialconsciencereallyworks:tameinspirit，wildinresult，blankinrealisation；athingwithoutthelightofmindinit。Itakethisparagraphfromadailypaper:-"AtEpping，yesterday，ThomasWoolbourne，aLambournelabourer，andhiswifeweresummonedforneglectingtheirfivechildren。
　　Dr。AlpinsaidhewasinvitedbytheinspectoroftheN。S。P。C。C。tovisitdefendants'cottage。Boththecottageandthechildrenweredirty。
　　Thechildrenlookedexceedinglywellinhealth，buttheconditionswouldbeseriousincaseofillness。Defendantswerestatedtobesober。Themanwasdischarged。Thewoman，whosaidshewashamperedbythecottagehavingnowatersupplyandthatshewasill，wassentencedtosixweeks'
　　imprisonment。Thesentencecausedsurprise，andthewomanwasremovedcrying，'Lordsaveme!'"
　　IknownonameforthisbutChinese。ItcallsupthementalpictureofsomearchaicandchangelessEasternCourt，inwhichmenwithdriedfacesandstiffceremonialcostumesperformsomeatrociouscrueltytotheaccompanimentofformalproverbsandsentencesofwhichtheverymeaninghasbeenforgotten。Inbothcasestheonlythinginthewholefarragothatcanbecalledrealisthewrong。IfweapplythelightesttouchofreasontothewholeEppingprosecutionitdissolvesintonothing。
　　Iherechallengeanypersoninhisfivewitstotellmewhatthatwomanwassenttoprisonfor。Eitheritwasforbeingpoor，oritwasforbeingill。Nobodycouldsuggest，nobodywillsuggest，nobody，asamatteroffact，didsuggest，thatshehadcommittedanyothercrime。ThedoctorwascalledinbyaSocietyforthePreventionofCrueltytoChildren。Wasthiswomanguiltyofcrueltytochildren？Notintheleast。Didthedoctorsayshewasguiltyofcrueltytochildren？
　　Notintheleast。Wastheseanyevidenceevenremotelybearingonthesinofcruelty？Notarap。Theworsethatthedoctorcouldworkhimselfuptosayingwasthatthoughthechildrenwere"exceedingly"well，theconditionswouldbeseriousincaseofillness。Ifthedoctorwilltellmeanyconditionsthatwouldbecomicincaseofillness，Ishallattachmoreweighttohisargument。
　　Nowthisistheworsteffectofmodernworry。Themaddoctorhasgonemad。Heisliterallyandpracticallymad；andstillheisquiteliterallyandpracticallyadoctor。Theonlyquestionistheoldone，Quisdocebitipsumdoctorem？Nowcrueltytochildrenisanutterlyunnaturalthing；instinctivelyaccursedofearthandheaven。Butneglectofchildrenisanaturalthing；likeneglectofanyotherduty，itisameredifferenceofdegreethatdividesextendingarmsandlegsincalisthenicsandextendingthemontherack。Itisameredifferenceofdegreethatseparatesanyoperationfromanytorture。Thethumb-screwcaneasilybecalledManicure。BeingpulledaboutbywildhorsescaneasilybecalledMassage。Themodernproblemisnotsomuchwhatpeoplewillendureaswhattheywillnotendure。ButIfearIinterrupt……
　　Theboilingoilisboiling；andtheTenthMandarinisalreadyrecitingthe"SeventeenSeriousPrinciplesandtheFifty-threeVirtuesoftheSacredEmperor。”
　　THEENCHANTEDMAN
　　WhenIarrivedtoseetheperformanceoftheBuckinghamshirePlayers，whoactedMissGertrudeRobins'sPOTLUCKatNaphillashorttimeago，itisthedistressing，ifscarcelysurprising，truththatIenteredverylate。
　　Thiswouldhavematteredlittle，Ihope，toanyone，butthatlatecomershadtobeforcedintofrontseats。ForarealpopularEnglishaudiencealwaysinsistsoncrowdinginthebackpartofthehall；andasIhavefoundinmanyanelectionwillendurethemostunendurabletauntsratherthancomeforward。TheEnglishareamodestpeople；thatiswhytheyareentirelyruledandrunbythefewofthemthathappentobeimmodest。Intheatricalaffairsthefactisstrangelynotable；andinmostplayhouseswefindtheboredpeopleinfrontandtheeagerpeoplebehind。
　　AsfarastheperformancewentIwasquitethereverseofaboredperson；
　　butImayhavebeenaboringperson，especiallyasIwasthusrequiredtositintheseatsofthescornful。Itwillbeahappydayinthedramaticworldwhenallladieshavetotakeofftheirhatsandallcriticshavetotakeofftheirheads。Thepeoplebehindwillhaveachancethen。Andasithappens，inthiscase，Ihadnotsomuchtakenoffmyheadaslostit。
　　Ihadlostitontheroad；onthatstrangejourneythatwasthecauseofmycominginlate。Ihaveatroubledrecollectionofhavingseenaverygoodplayandmadeaverybadspeech；Ihaveacloudyrecollectionoftalkingtoallsortsofnicepeopleafterwards，buttalkingtothemjerkilyandwithhalfahead，asamantalkswhenhehasoneeyeonaclock。
　　AndthetruthisthatIhadoneeyeonanancientandtimelessclock，hunguselesslyinheaven；whoseverynamehaspassedintoafigureforsuchbemusedfolly。Inthetruesenseofanancientphrase，Iwasmoonstruck。Alunarlandscapeasceneofwintermoonlighthadinexplicablygotinbetweenmeandallotherscenes。IfanyonehadaskedmeIcouldnothavesaidwhatitwas；Icannotsaynow。Nothinghadoccurredtome；exceptthebreakdownofahiredmotorontheridgeofahill。Itwasnotanadventure；itwasavision。
　　Ihadstartedinwintrytwilightfrommyowndoor；andhiredasmallcarthatfounditswayacrossthehillstowardsNaphill。ButasnightblackenedandfrostbrightenedandhardeneditIfoundthewayincreasinglydifficult；especiallyasthewaywasanincessantascent。
　　Wheneverwetoppedaroadlikeastaircaseitwasonlytoturnintoayetsteeperroadlikealadder。
　　Atlast，whenIbegantofancythatIwasspirallyclimbingtheTowerofBabelinadream，Iwasbroughttofactbyalarmingnoises，stoppage，andthedriversayingthat"itcouldn'tbedone。”IgotoutofthecarandsuddenlyforgotthatIhadeverbeeninit。
　　FromtheedgeofthatabruptsteepIsawsomethingindescribable，whichI
　　amnowgoingtodescribe。WhenMr。JosephChamberlaindeliveredhisgreatpatrioticspeechontheinferiorityofEnglandtotheDutchpartsofSouthAfrica，hemadeuseoftheexpression"theillimitableveldt。”
　　Theword"veldt"isDutch，andtheword"illimitable"isDoubleDutch。
　　ButthemeditativestatesmanprobablymeantthatthenewplainsgavehimasenseoflargenessanddrearinesswhichhehadneverfoundinEngland。
　　Well，ifheneverfounditinEnglanditwasbecauseheneverlookedforitinEngland。InEnglandthereisanillimitablenumberofillimitableveldts。Isawsixorsevenseparateeternitiesincrestingasmanydifferenthills。Onecannotfindanythingmoreinfinitethanafinitehorizon，freeandlonelyandinnocent。TheDutchveldtmaybealittlemoredesolatethanBirmingham。ButIamsureitisnotsodesolateasthatEnglishhillwas，almostwithinacannon-shotofHighWycombe。
　　Ilookedacrossavastandvoicelessvalleystraightatthemoon，asifataroundmirror。Itmayhavebeenthebluemoonoftheproverb；foronthatfreezingnighttheverymoonseemedbluewithcold。Adeathlyfrostfastenedeverybranchandbladetoitsplace。Thesinkingandsofteningforests，powderedwithagrayfrost，fellawayunderneathmeintoanabysswhichseemedunfathomable。Onefanciedtheworldwassoundlessonlybecauseitwasbottomless:itseemedasifallsongsandcrieshadbeenswallowedinsomeunresistingstillnessundertherootsofthehills。
　　IcouldfancythatifIshoutedtherewouldbenoecho；thatifI
　　hurledhugestonestherewouldbenonoiseofreply。Adumbdevilhadbewitchedthelandscape:butthatagaindoesnotexpressthebestorworstofit。Allthosehoaryandfrostedforestsexpressedsomethingsoinhumanthatithasnohumanname。Ahorrorofunconsciousnesslayonthem；thatisthenearestphraseIknow。Itwasasifonewerelookingatthebackoftheworld；andtheworlddidnotknowit。Ihadtakentheuniverseintherear。Iwasbehindthescenes。Iwaseavesdroppinguponanunconsciouscreation。
　　Ishallnotexpresswhattheplaceexpressed。Iamnotevensurethatitisathingthatoughttobeexpressed。Therewassomethingheathenaboutitsunionofbeautyanddeath；sorrowseemedtoglitter，asitdoesinsomeofthegreatpaganpoems。Iunderstoodoneofthethousandpoeticalphrasesofthepopulace，"aGod-forsakenplace。”Yetsomethingwaspresentthere；andIcouldnotyetfindthekeytomyfixedimpression。
　　ThensuddenlyIrememberedtherightword。Itwasanenchantedplace。
　　Ithadbeenputtosleep。InaflashIrememberedallthefairy-talesaboutprincesturnedtomarbleandprincesseschangedtosnow。Wewereinalandwherenonecouldstriveorcryout；awhitenightmare。Themoonlookedatmeacrossthevalleyliketheenormouseyeofahypnotist；
　　theonewhiteeyeoftheworld。
　　TherewasneverabetterplaythanPOTLUCK；forittellsatalewithapointandatalethatmighthappenanydayamongEnglishpeasants。TherewereneverbetteractorsthanthelocalBuckinghamshirePlayers:fortheywereactingtheirownlifewithjustthatriseintoexaggerationwhichisthetransitionfromlifetoart。ButallthetimeIwasmesmerisedbythemoon；Isawallthesemenandwomenasenchantedthings。Thepoachershotpheasants；thepolicemantrackedpheasants；thewifehidpheasants；
　　theywereallespeciallythepolicemanastrueasdeath。Buttherewassomethingmoretruetodeaththantruetolifeaboutitall:thefigureswerefrozenwithamagicfrostofsleeporfearorcustomsuchasdoesnotcrampthemovementsofthepoormenofotherlands。Ilookedatthepoacherandthepolicemanandthegun；thenatthegunandthepolicemanandthepoacher；andIcouldfindnonameforthefancythathauntedandescapedme。ThepoacherbelievedintheGameLawsasmuchasthepoliceman。Thepoacher'swifenotonlybelievedintheGameLaws，butprotectedthemaswellashim。Shegotapromisefromherhusbandthathewouldnevershootanotherpheasant。WhetherhekeptitIdoubt；I
　　fancyhesometimesshotapheasantevenafterthat。ButIamsurehenevershotapoliceman。Forweliveinanenchantedland。
　　THESUNWORSHIPPER
　　Thereisashrewdwarningtobegiventoallpeoplewhoareinrevolt。
　　Andinthepresentstateofthings，Ithinkallmenarerevoltinginthatsense；exceptafewwhoarerevoltingintheothersense。ButthewarningtoSocialistsandotherrevolutionariesisthis:thatassureasfate，iftheyuseanyargumentwhichisatheistormaterialistic，thatargumentwillalwaysbeturnedagainstthematlastbythetyrantandtheslave。
　　To-dayIsawonetoocommonSocialistargumentturnedTory，sotospeak，inamannerquitestartlingandinsane。Imeanthatmoderndoctrine，taught，Ibelieve，bymostfollowersofKarlMarx，whichiscalledthematerialisttheoryofhistory。Thetheoryis，roughly，this:thatalltheimportantthingsinhistoryarerootedinaneconomicmotive。Inshort，historyisascience；ascienceofthesearchforfood。
　　NowIdesire，inpassingonly，topointoutthatthisisnotmerelyuntrue，butactuallythereverseofthetruth。Itisputtingittoofeeblytosaythatthehistoryofmanisnotonlyeconomic。Manwouldnothaveanyhistoryifhewereonlyeconomic。Theneedforfoodiscertainlyuniversal，souniversalthatitisnotevenhuman。Cowshaveaneconomicmotive，andapparentlyIdarenotsaywhatetherealdelicaciesmaybeinacowonlyaneconomicmotive。Thecoweatsgrassanywhereandnevereatsanythingelse。Inshort，thecowdoesfulfilthematerialisttheoryofhistory:thatiswhythecowhasnohistory。"A
　　HistoryofCows"wouldbeoneofthesimplestandbriefestofstandardworks。Butifsomecowsthoughtitwickedtoeatlonggrassandpersecutedallwhodidso；ifthecowwiththecrumpledhornwereworshippedbysomecowsandgoredtodeathbyothers；ifcowsbegantohaveobviousmoralpreferencesoverandaboveadesireforgrass，thencowswouldbegintohaveahistory。Theywouldalsobegintohaveahighlyunpleasanttime，whichisperhapsthesamething。
　　Theeconomicmotiveisnotmerelynotinsideallhistory；itisactuallyoutsideallhistory。ItbelongstoBiologyortheScienceofLife；thatis，itconcernsthingslikecows，thatarenotsoverymuchalive。Menarefartoomuchalivetogetintothescienceofanything；forthemwehavemadetheartofhistory。Tosaythathumanactionshavedependedoneconomicsupportislikesayingthattheyhavedependedonhavingtwolegs。Itaccountsforaction，butnotforsuchvariedaction；itisacondition，butnotamotive；itistoouniversaltobeuseful。
　　CertainlyasoldierwinstheVictoriaCrossontwolegs；healsorunsawayontwolegs。ButifourobjectistodiscoverwhetherhewillbecomeaV。C。oracowardthemostcarefulinspectionofhislegswillyielduslittleornoinformation。Inthesamewayamanwillwantfoodifheisadreamyromantictramp，andwillwantfoodifheisatoilingandsweatingmillionaire。Amanmustbesupportedonfoodashemustbesupportedonlegs。Butcowswhohavenohistoryarenotonlyfurnishedmoregenerouslyinthematteroflegs，butcanseetheirfoodonamuchgranderandmoreimaginativescale。Acowcanliftuphereyestothehillsandseeuplandsandpeaksofpurefood。Yetweneverseethehorizonbrokenbycragsofcakeorhappyhillsofcheese。
　　Sofarthecowwhohasnohistoryseemstohaveeveryotheradvantage。
　　Buthistory——thewholepointofhistory——preciselyisthatsometwo-
　　leggedsoldiersranawaywhileothers，ofsimilaranatomicalstructure，didnot。Thewholepointofhistorypreciselyis:somepeoplelikepoetsandtrampschancegettingmoneybydisregardingit，whileotherssuchasmillionaireswillabsolutelylosemoneyforthefunofbotheringaboutit。Therewouldbenohistoryiftherewereonlyeconomichistory。Allthehistoricaleventshavebeenduetothetwistsandturnsgiventotheeconomicinstinctbyforcesthatwerenoteconomic。
　　Forinstance，thistheorytracestheFrenchwarofEdwardIIItoaquarrelabouttheFrenchwines。AnyonewhohasevensmelttheMiddleAgesmustfeelfiftyanswersspringtohislips；butinthiscauseonewillsuffice。Therewouldhavebeennosuchwar，then，ifwealldrankwaterlikecows。Butwhenoneisamanoneenterstheworldofhistoricchoice。Theactofdrinkingwineisonethatrequiresexplanation。Soistheactofnotdrinkingwine。
　　Butthecapitalistcangetmuchmorefunoutofthedoctrine。
　　WhenstrikesweresplittingEnglandrightandleftalittlewhileago，aningeniouswriter，humorouslydescribinghimselfasaLiberal，saidthattheywereentirelyduetothehotweather。Thesuggestionwaseagerlytakenupbyothercreaturesofthesamekind，andIreallydonotseewhyitwasnotcarriedfartherandappliedtootherlamentableuprisingsinhistory。Thus，itisaremarkablefactthattheweatherisgenerallyratherwarminEgypt；andthiscannotbutthrowalightonthesuddenandmysteriousimpulseoftheIsraelitestoescapefromcaptivity。
　　TheEnglishstrikersusedsomebarrenrepublicanformulaaridasthedefinitionsofthemedievalschoolmen，someacademicshibbolethaboutbeingfreemenandnotbeingforcedtoworkexceptforawageacceptedbythem。JustinthesamewaytheIsraelitesinEgyptemployedsomedryscholasticquibbleabouttheextremedifficultyofmakingbrickswithnothingtomakethemof。Butwhateverfantasticintellectualexcusestheymayhaveputforwardfortheirstrangeandunnaturalconductinwalkingoutwhentheprisondoorwasopen，therecanbenodoubtthattherealcausewasthewarmweather。Suchaclimatenotoriouslyalsoproducesdelusionsandhorriblefancies，suchasMr。Kiplingdescribes。
　　AnditwaswhiletheirbrainsweredisorderedbytheheatthattheJewsfanciedthattheywerefoundinganation，thattheywereledbyaprophet，and，inshort，thattheyweregoingtobeofsomeimportanceintheaffairsoftheworld。
　　NorcanthehistoricalstudentfailtonotethattheFrenchmonarchywaspulleddowninAugust；andthatAugustisamonthinsummer。
　　Inspiteofallthis，however，IhavesomelittledifficultymyselfinacceptingsosimpleaformoftheMaterialistTheoryofHistoryatthesewordsallMarxianSocialistswillpleasebowtheirheadsthreetimes，andIratherthinkthatexceptionsmightbefoundtotheprinciple。Yetitisnotchieflysuchexceptionsthatembarrassmybeliefinit。
　　No；mydifficultyisratherinaccountingforthestrangecoincidencebywhichtheshaftsofApollosplitusexclusivelyalongcertainlinesofclassandofeconomics。Icannotunderstandwhyallsolicitorsdidnotleaveoffsoliciting，alldoctorsleaveoffdoctoring，alljudgesleaveoffjudging，allbenevolentbankersleaveofflendingmoneyathighinterest，andallrisingpoliticiansleaveoffhavingnothingtoaddtowhattheirrighthonourablefriendtoldtheHouseabouteightyearsago。
　　Thequainttheoreticpleaoftheworkers，thattheywerestrikingbecausetheywereillpaid，seemstoreceiveasortofwildandhazyconfirmationfromthefactthat，throughoutthehottestweather，judgesandotherpersonswhoareparticularlywellpaidshowednodispositiontostrike。
　　Ihavetofallbackthereforeonmetaphysicalfanciesofmyown；andI
　　continuetobelievethattheangeroftheEnglishpoortostealaphrasefromSirThomasBrownecamefromsomethinginmanthatisotherthantheelementsandthatowesnohomageuntothesun。
　　Whencomfortablepeoplecometotalkingstuffofthatsort，itisreallytimethatthecomfortableclassesmadeashortsummaryandconfessionofwhattheyhavereallydonewiththeverypoorEnglishman。Thedawnofthemediaevalcivilisationfoundhimaserf；whichisadifferentthingfromaslave。Hehadsecurity；althoughthemanbelongedtothelandratherthanthelandtotheman。Hecouldnotbeevicted；hisrentcouldnotberaised。Inpractice，itcametosomethinglikethis:thatifthelordrodedownhiscabbageshehadnotmuchchanceofredress；buthehadthechanceofgrowingmorecabbages。Hehaddirectaccesstothemeansofproduction。