首页 >出版文学> A Hazard of New Fortunes>第19章
  theycotnofriendts!Theycotnomoneytopribeyou,todreatyou!"
  Theofficerliftedhisclub,andtheoldmanthrewhisleftarmuptoshieldhishead。ConradrecognizedZindau,andnowhesawtheemptysleevedangleintheairoverthestumpofhiswrist。Heheardashotinthatturmoilbesidethecar,andsomethingseemedtostrikehiminthebreast。Hewasgoingtosaytothepoliceman:"Don'tstrikehim!He'sanoldsoldier!Youseehehasnohand!"buthecouldnotspeak,hecouldnotmovehistongue。Thepolicemanstoodthere;hesawhisface:
  itwasnotbad,notcruel;itwaslikethefaceofastatue,fixed,perdurable——amereimageofirresponsibleandinvoluntaryauthority。
  ThenConradfellforward,piercedthroughtheheartbythatshotfiredfromthecar。
  Marchheardtheshotashescrambledoutofhiscar,andatthesamemomenthesawLindaudropundertheclubofthepoliceman,wholefthimwherehefellandjoinedtherestofthesquadinpursuingtherioters。
  Thefightingroundthecarintheavenueceased;thedriverwhippedhishorsesintoagallop,andtheplacewasleftempty。
  Marchwouldhavelikedtorun;hethoughthowhiswifehadimploredhimtokeepawayfromtherioting;buthecouldnothaveleftLindaulyingthereifhewould。Somethingstrongerthanhiswilldrewhimtothespot,andtherehesawConrad,deadbesidetheoldman。
  VI。
  InthecareswhichMrs。Marchsharedwithherhusbandthatnightshewassupportedpartlybyprinciple,butmainlybythe,potentexcitementwhichbewilderedConrad'sfamilyandtookallrealityfromwhathadhappened。
  ItwasnearlymidnightwhentheMarchesleftthemandwalkedawaytowardtheElevatedstationwithFulkerson。Everythinghadbeendone,bythattime,thatcouldbedone;andFulkersonwasnotwithoutthatsatisfactioninthebusiness-likedespatchofallthedetailswhichattendseachstepinsuchanaffairandhelpstomakedeathtolerableeventothemostsorelystricken。Wearecreaturesofthemoment;welivefromonelittlespacetoanother;andonlyoneinterestatatimefillsthese。Fulkersonwascheerfulwhentheygotintothestreet,almostgay;andMrs。Marchexperiencedareboundfromherdepressionwhichshefeltthatsheoughtnottohaveexperienced。Butshecondonedtheoffencealittleinherself,becauseherhusbandremainedsoconstantinhisgravity;and,pendingthefinalaccountinghemustmakeherforhavingbeenwherehecouldbeofsomuchusefromthefirstinstantofthecalamity,shewastenderly,gratefullyproudofalltheusehehadbeentoConrad'sfamily,andespeciallyhismiserableoldfather。Tohermind,Marchwastheprincipalactorinthewholeaffair,andmuchmoreimportantinhavingseenitthanthosewhohadsufferedinit。Infact,hehadsufferedincomparably。
  "Well,well,"saidFulkerson。"They'llgetalongnow。We'vedoneallwecould,andthere'snothingleftbutforthemtobearit。Ofcourseit'sawful,butIguessit'llcomeoutallright。Imean,"headded,"they'llpullthroughnow。"
  "Isuppose,"saidMarch,"thatnothingisputonusthatwecan'tbear。
  ButIshouldthink,"hewenton,musingly,"thatwhenGodseeswhatwepoorfinitecreaturescanbear,hemmedroundwiththiseternaldarknessofdeath,Hemustrespectus。"
  "Basil!"saidhiswife。Butinherheartshedrewnearertohimforthewordsshethoughtsheoughttorebukehimfor。
  "Oh,Iknow,"hesaid,"weschoolourselvestodespisehumannature。
  ButGoddidnotmakeusdespicable,andIsay,whateverendHemeantusfor,Hemusthavesomesuchthrillofjoyinouradequacytofateasafatherfeelswhenhissonshowshimselfaman。WhenIthinkwhatwecanbeifwemust,Ican'tbelievetheleastofusshallfinallyperish。"
  "Oh,IreckontheAlmightywon'tscoopanyofus,"saidFulkerson,withapietyofhisown。
  "Thatpoorboy'sfather!"sighedMrs。March。"Ican'tgethisfaceoutofmysight。Helookedsomuchworsethandeath。"
  "Oh,deathdoesn'tlookbad,"saidMarch。"It'slifethatlookssoinitspresence。Deathispeaceandpardon。IonlywishpooroldLindauwasaswelloutofitasConradthere。"
  "Ah,Lindau!Hehasdoneharmenough,"saidMrs。March。"Ihopehewillbecarefulafterthis。"
  MarchdidnottrytodefendLindauagainsthertheoryofthecase,whichinexorablyheldhimresponsibleforConrad'sdeath。
  "Lindau'sgoingtocomeoutallright,Iguess,"saidFulkerson。"Hewasfirst-ratewhenIsawhimatthehospitalto-night。"HewhisperedinMarch'sear,atachancehegotinmountingthestationstairs:"Ididn'tliketotellyouthereatthehouse,butIguessyou'dbetterknow。TheyhadtotakeLindau'sarmoffneartheshoulder。Smashedalltopiecesbytheclubbing。"
  Inthehouse,vainlyrichandfoolishlyunfitforthem,thebereavedfamilywhomtheMarcheshadjustleftlingeredtogether,andtriedtogetstrengthtopartforthenight。Theywereallspentwiththefatiguethatcomesfromheaventosuchmiseryastheirs,andtheysatinatorporinwhicheachwaitedfortheothertomove,tospeak。
  Christinemoved,andMelaspoke。Christineroseandwentoutoftheroomwithoutsayingaword,andtheyheardhergoingup-stairs。ThenMelasaid:
  "Ireckontherestofusbetterbegoun'too,father。Here,let'sgitmotherstarted。"
  Sheputherarmroundhermother,toliftherfromherchair,buttheoldmandidnotstir,andMelacalledMrs。Mandelfromthenextroom。
  Betweenthemtheyraisedhertoherfeet。
  "Ain'tthereanybodyagoin'tosetupwithit?"sheasked,inherhoarsepipe。"Itappearslikefolkshain'tgotanyfeelin'sinNewYork。
  Woon'tsomeo'theneighborscomeandoffertosetup,withoutwaitin'tobeasked?"
  "Oh,that'sallright,mother。Themen'llattendtothat。Don'tyoubotherany,"Melacoaxed,andshekeptherarmroundhermother,withtenderpatience。
  "Why,Mely,child!Ican'tfeelrighttohaveitlefttohirelin'sso。
  Butthereain'tanybodyanymoretoseethingsdoneastheyought。IfCoonrodwason'yhere——"
  "Well,mother,youareprettymixed!"saidMela,withastrongtendencytobreakintoherlargeguffaw。Butshecheckedherselfandsaid:
  "Iknowjusthowyoufeel,though。Itkeepsacomun'andagoun';andit'ssoanditain'tso,allatonce;that'stheplagueofit。Well,father!
  Ain'tyougoun'tocome?"
  "I'mgoin'tostay,Mela,"saidtheoldman,gently,withoutmoving。
  "Getyourmothertobed,that'sagoodgirl。"
  "Yougoin'tosetupwithhim,Jacob?"askedtheoldwoman。
  "Yes,'Liz'beth,I'llsetup。Yougotobed。"
  "Well,Iwill,Jacob。AndIbelieveit'lldoyougoodtosetup。
  IwishedIcouldsetupwithyou;butIdon'tseemtohavethestren'thIdidwhenthetwinsdied。Imustgitmysleep,so'sto——Idon'tlikeverywelltohaveyoubrokeofyourrest,Jacob,buttheredon'tappeartobeanybodyelse。Youwouldn'thavetodoitifCoonrodwashere。
  ThereIgoag'in!Mercy!mercy!"
  "Well,docomealong,then,mother,"saidMela;andshegotheroutoftheroom,withMrs。Mandel'shelp,andupthestairs。
  Fromthetoptheoldwomancalleddown,"YoutellCoonrod——"Shestopped,andheheardhergroanout,"MyLord!myLord!"
  Hesat,onesilenceinthedining-room,wheretheyhadalllingeredtogether,andinthelibrarybeyondthehirelingwatchersat,anothersilence。Thetimepassed,butneithermoved,andthelastnoiseinthehouseceased,sothattheyheardeachotherbreathe,andthevague,remoterumorofthecityinvadedtheinnerstillness。Itgrewloudertowardmorning,andthenDryfoosknewfromthewatcher'sdeeperbreathingthathehadfallenintoadoze。
  Hecreptbyhimtothedrawing-room,wherehissonwas;theplacewasfulloftheawfulsweetnessoftheflowersthatFulkersonhadbrought,andthatlayabovethepulselessbreast。Theoldmanturnedupaburnerinthechandelier,andstoodlookingonthemajesticserenityofthedeadface。
  Hecouldnotmovewhenhesawhiswifecomingdownthestairwayinthehall。Shewasinherlong,whiteflannelbedgown,andthecandleshecarriedshookwithhernervoustremor。Hethoughtshemightbewalkinginhersleep,butshesaid,quitesimply,"Iwokeup,andIcouldn'tgittosleepag'inwithoutcomin'tohavealook。"Shestoodbesidetheirdeadsonwithhim。"well,he'sbeautiful,Jacob。Hewastheprettiestbaby!Andhewasalwaysgood,Coonrodwas;I'llsaythatforhim。
  Idon'tbelieveheevergivemeaminute'scareinhiswholelife。
  IreckonIlikedhimaboutthebestofallthechildren;butIdon'tknowasIeverdonemuchtoshowit。Butyouwasalwaysgoodtohim,Jacob;
  youalwaysdonethebestforhim,eversincehewasalittlefeller。
  Iusedtobeafraidyou'dspoilhimsometimesinthemdays;butIguessyou'regladnowforeverytimeyoudidn'tcrosshim。Idon'tsupposesincethetwinsdiedyoueverhithimalick。"Shestoopedandpeeredcloserattheface。"Why,Jacob,what'sthattherebyhisporeeyeDryfoossawit,too,thewoundthathehadfearedtolookfor,andthatnowseemedtoreddenonhiseight。Hebrokeintoalow,waveringcry,likeachild'sindespair,likeananimal'sinterror,likeasoul'sintheanguishofremorse。
  VII。
  Theeveningafterthefuneral,whiletheMarchessattogethertalkingitover,andmakingapproaches,throughitsshadow,tothequestionoftheirownfuture,whichitinvolved,theywerestartledbythetwitteroftheelectricbellattheirapartmentdoor。Itwasreallynotsolateasthechildren'shavinggonetobedmadeitseem;butatnineo'clockitwastoolateforanyprobablevisitorexceptFulkerson。Itmightbehe,andMarchwasgladtopostponetheimpendingquestiontohiscuriosityconcerningtheimmediatebusinessFulkersonmighthavewithhim。Hewenthimselftothedoor,andconfrontedtherealadydeeplyveiledinblackandattendedbyaverydecorousserving-woman。
  "Areyoualone,Mr。March——youandMrs。March?"askedthelady,behindherveil;and,ashehesitated,shesaid:"Youdon'tknowme!MissVance";andshethrewbackherveil,showingherfacewanandagitatedinthedarkfolds。"Iamveryanxioustoseeyou——tospeakwithyouboth。
  MayIcomein?"
  "Why,certainly,MissVance,"heanswered,stilltoomuchstupefiedbyherpresencetorealizeit。
  Shepromptlyentered,andsaying,withaglanceatthehallchairbythedoor,"Mymaidcansithere?"followedhimtotheroomwherehehadlefthiswife。
  Mrs。Marchshowedherselfmorecapableofcopingwiththefact。ShewelcomedMissVancewiththelikingtheybothfeltforthegirl,andwiththesympathywhichhertroubledfaceinspired。
  "Iwon'ttireyouwithexcusesforcoming,Mrs。March,"shesaid,"foritwastheonlythingleftformetodo;andIcomeatmyaunt'ssuggestion。"Sheaddedthisasifitwouldhelptoaccountforhermoreontheconventionalplane,andshehadtheinstinctivegoodtastetoaddressherselfthroughouttoMrs。Marchasmuchaspossible,thoughwhatshehadtosaywasmainlyforMarch。"Idon'tknowhowtobegin——Idon'tknowhowtospeakofthisterribleaffair。ButyouknowwhatImean。
  IfeelasifIhadlivedawholelifetimesinceithappened。Idon'twantyoutopitymeforit,"shesaid,forestallingapolitenessfromMrs。March。"I'mthelastonetobethoughtof,andyoumustn'tmindmeifItrytomakeyou。IcametofindoutallofthetruththatIcan,andwhenIknowjustwhatthatisIshallknowwhattodo。Ihavereadtheinquest;it'sallburnedintomybrain。ButIdon'tcareforthat——
  formyself:youmustletmesaysuchthingswithoutmindingme。Iknowthatyourhusband——thatMr。Marchwasthere;Ireadhistestimony;andI
  wishedtoaskhim——toaskhim——"Shestoppedandlookeddistractedlyabout。"Butwhatfolly!Hemusthavesaideverythingheknew——hehadto。"Hereveswanderedtohimfromhiswife,onwhomshehadkeptthemwithinstinctivetact。
  "Isaideverything——yes,"hereplied。"Butifyouwouldliketoknow——"
  "PerhapsIhadbettertellyousomethingfirst。Ihadjustpartedwithhim——itcouldn'thavebeenmorethanhalfanhour——infrontofBrentano's;hemusthavegonestraighttohisdeath。Weweretalking,andI——Isaid,Whydidn'tsomeonegoamongthestrikersandpleadwiththemtobepeaceable,andkeepthemfromattackingthenewmen。IknewthathefeltasIdidaboutthestrikers:thathewastheirfriend。Didyousee——doyouknowanythingthatmakesyouthinkhehadbeentryingtodothat?"
  "Iamsorry,"Marchbegan,"Ididn'tseehimatalltill——tillIsawhimlyingdead。"
  "Myhusbandwastherepurelybyaccident,"Mrs。Marchputin。"Ihadbeggedandentreatedhimnottogonearthestrikinganywhere。Andhehadjustgotoutofthecar,andsawthepolicemanstrikethatwretchedLindau——he'sbeensuchananxietytomeeversincewehavehadanythingtodowithhimhere;myhusbandknewhimwhenhewasaboyintheWest。
  Mr。Marchcamehomefromitallperfectlyprostrated;itmadeusallsick!Nothingsohorribleevercameintoourlivesbefore。Iassureyouitwasthemostshockingexperience。"
  MissVancelistenedtoherwiththatlookofpatiencewhichthosewhohaveseenmuchoftherealsufferingoftheworld——thedailyportionofthepoor——haveforthenervouswoesofcomfortablepeople。Marchhunghishead;heknewitwouldbeuselesstoprotestthathisshareofthecalamitywas,bycomparison,infinitesimallysmall。
  AftershehadheardMrs。Marchtotheendevenofherrepetitions,MissVancesaid,asifitwereamerematterofcoursethatsheshouldhavelookedtheaffairup,"Yes,IhaveseenMr。Lindauatthehospital——"
  "Myhusbandgoeseverydaytoseehim,"Mrs。Marchinterrupted,togive。
  afinaltouchtotheconceptionofMarch'smagnanimitythroughout。
  "Thepoormanseemstohavebeeninthewrongatthetime,"saidMissVance。
  "Icouldalmostsayhehadearnedtherighttobewrong。He'samanofthemostgenerousinstincts,andahighidealofjustice,ofequity——toohightobeconsideredbyapolicemanwithaclubinhishand,"saidMarch,withabolddefianceofhiswife'sdifferentopinionofLindau。
  "It'sthepoliceman'sbusiness,Isuppose,toclubtheidealwhenhefindsitincitingariot。"
  "Oh,Idon'tblameMr。Lindau;Idon'tblamethepoliceman;hewasasmuchamereinstrumentashisclubwas。IamonlytryingtofindouthowmuchIamtoblamemyself。IhadnothoughtofMr。Dryfoos'sgoingthere——ofhisattemptingtotalkwiththestrikersandkeepthemquiet;
  Iwasonlythinking,aswomendo,ofwhatIshouldtrytodoifIwereaman。
  Butperhapsheunderstoodmetoaskhimtogo——perhapsmywordssenthimtohisdeath。"
  Shehadasortofcalminhercouragetoknowtheworsttruthastoherresponsibilitythatforbadeanywishtoflatterheroutofit。"I'mafraid,"saidMarch,"thatiswhatcanneverbeknownnow。"Afteramomentheadded:"Butwhyshouldyouwishtoknow?Ifhewentthereasapeacemaker,hediedinagoodcause,insuchawayashewouldwishtodie,Ibelieve。"
  "Yes,"saidthegirl;"Ihavethoughtofthat。Butdeathisawful;wemustnotthinkpatiently,forgivinglyofsendinganyonetotheirdeathinthebestcause。""IfancylifewasanawfulthingtoConradDryfoos,"
  Marchreplied。"Hewasthwartedanddisappointed,withoutevenpleasingtheambitionthatthwartedanddisappointedhim。Thatpooroldman,hisfather,warpedhimfromhissimple,lifelongwishtobeaminister,andwastryingtomakeabusinessmanofhim。Ifitwillbeanyconsolationtoyoutoknowit,MissVance,Icanassureyouthathewasveryunhappy,andIdon'tseehowhecouldeverhavebeenhappyhere。"
  "Itwon't,"saidthegirl,steadily。"Ifpeoplearebornintothisworld,it'sbecausetheyweremeanttoliveinit。Itisn'taquestionofbeinghappyhere;nooneishappy,inthatold,selfishway,orcanbe;buthecouldhavebeenofgreatuse。"
  "Perhapshewasofuseindying。Whoknows?HemayhavebeentryingtosilenceLindau。"
  "Oh,Lindauwasn'tworthit!"criedMrs。March。
  MissVancelookedatherasifshedidnotquiteunderstand。ThensheturnedtoMarch。"Hemighthavebeenunhappy,asweallare;butIknowthathislifeherewouldhavehadahigherhappinessthanwewishfororaimfor。"Thetearsbegantorunsilentlydownhercheeks。
  "Helookedstrangelyhappythatdaywhenheleftme。Hehadhurthimselfsomehow,andhisfacewasbleedingfromascratch;hekepthishandkerchiefup;hewaspale,butsuchalightcameintohisfacewhenheshookhands——ah,IknowhewenttotryanddowhatIsaid!"Theywereallsilent,whileshedriedhereyesandthenputherhandkerchiefbackintothepocketfromwhichshehadsuddenlypulledit,withaseriesofvivid,young-ladyishgestures,whichstruckMarchbytheirincongruitywiththeoccasionoftheirtalk,andyetbytheirharmonywiththerestofherelegance。"Iamsorry,MissVance"bebegan,"thatIcan'treallytellyouanythingmore——"
  "Youareverykind,"shesaid,controllingherselfandrisingquickly。
  "Ithankyou——thankyoubothverymuch。"SheturnedtoMrs。Marchandshookhandswithherandthenwithhim。"Imighthaveknown——Ididknowthattherewasn'tanythingmoreforyoutotell。ButatleastI'vefoundoutfromyouthattherewasnothing,andnowIcanbegintobearwhatI
  must。Howarethosepoorcreatures——hismotherandfather,hissisters?
  Someday,Ihope,Ishallbeashamedtohavepostponedthemtothethoughtofmyself;butIcan'tpretendtobeyet。Icouldnotcometothefuneral;Iwantedto。"
  SheaddressedherquestiontoMrs。March,whoanswered:"Icanunderstand。Buttheywerepleasedwiththeflowersyousent;peopleare,atsuchtimes,andtheyhaven'tmanyfriends。"
  "Wouldyougotoseethem?"askedthegirl。"WouldyoutellthemwhatI'vetoldyou?"
  Mrs。Marchlookedatherhusband。
  "Idon'tseewhatgooditwoulddo。Theywouldn'tunderstand。Butifitwouldrelieveyou——"
  "I'llwaittillitisn'taquestionofself-relief,"saidthegirl。
  "Good-bye!"
  Sheleftthemtolongdebateoftheevent。AttheendMrs。Marchsaid,"Sheisastrangebeing;suchamixtureofthesocietygirlandthesaint。"
  Herhusbandanswered:"She'sthepotentialityofseveralkindsoffanatic。She'sveryunhappy,andIdon'tseehowshe'stobehappieraboutthatpoorfellow。Ishouldn'tbesurprisedifshedidinspirehimtoattemptsomethingofthatkind。"
  "Well,yougotoutofitverywell,Basil。Iadmiredthewayyoumanaged。Iwasafraidyou'dsaysomethingawkward。"
  "Oh,withaplainlineoftruthbeforeme,astheonlypossiblething,Icangetonprettywell。Whenitcomestoanythingdecorative,I'dratherleaveittoyou,Isabel。"
  Sheseemedinsensibleofhisjest。"Ofcourse,hewasinlovewithher。
  Thatwasthelightthatcameintohisfacewhenhewasgoingtodowhathethoughtshewantedhimtodo。"
  "Andshe——doyouthinkthatshewas——"
  "Whatanidea!Itwouldhavebeenperfectlygrotesque!"
  VIII。
  TheirafflictionbroughttheDryfoosesintohumanerrelationswiththeMarches,whohadhithertoregardedthemasanecessaryevil,astheodiousmeansoftheirownprosperity。Mrs。Marchfoundthatthewomenofthefamilyseemedgladofhercoming,andinthesenseofherusefulnesstothemallshebegantofeelakindnessevenforChristine。Butshecouldnothelpseeingthatbetweenthegirlandherfathertherewasanunsettledaccount,somehow,andthatitwasChristineandnottheoldmanwhowasholdingout。Shethoughtthattheirsorrowhadtendedtorefinetheothers。Melawasmuchmoresubdued,and,exceptwhensheabandonedherselftoachildishinterestinhermourning,shedidnothingtoshockMrs。March'stasteortoseemunworthyofhergrief。Shewasverygoodtohermother,whomtheblowhadleftunchanged,andtoherfather,whomithadapparentlyfallenuponwithcrushingweight。Once,aftervisitingtheirhouse,Mrs。MarchdescribedtoMarchalittlescenebetweenDryfoosandMela,whenhecamehomefromWallStreet,andthegirlmethimatthedoorwithakindofcountrysimpleness,andtookhishatandstick,andbroughthimintotheroomwhereMrs。Marchsat,lookingtiredandbroken。
  ShefoundthislookofDryfoos'spathetic,anddweltonthesortofstupefactiontherewasinit;hemusthavelovedhissonmorethantheyeverrealized。"Yes,"saidMarch,"Isuspecthedid。He'sneverbeenabouttheplacesincethatday;hewasalwaysdroppinginbefore,onhiswayup-town。HeseemstogodowntoWallStreeteveryday,justasbefore,butIsupposethat'smechanical;hewouldn'tknowwhatelsetodo;Idaresayit'sbestforhim。ThesanguineFulkersonisgettingalittleanxiousaboutthefutureof'EveryOtherWeek。'NowConrad'sgone,heisn'tsuretheoldmanwillwanttokeeponwithit,orwhetherhe'llhavetolookupanotherAngel。Hewantstogetmarried,Iimagine,andhecan'tventuretillthispointissettled。"
  "It'saverymaterialpointtoustoo,Basil,"saidMrs。March。
  "Well,ofcourse。Ihadn'toverlookedthat,youmaybesure。OneofthethingsthatFulkersonandIhavediscussedisaschemeforbuyingthemagazine。Itssuccessisprettywellassurednow,andIshouldn'tbeafraidtoputmoneyintoit——ifIhadthemoney。"
  "Icouldn'tletyousellthehouseinBoston,Basil!"
  "AndIdon'twantto。Iwishwecouldgobackandliveinitandgettherent,too!Itwouldbequiteasupport。ButIsupposeifDryfooswon'tkeepon,itmustcometoanotherAngel。Ihopeitwon'tbealiteraryone,withafancyforrunningmydepartment。"
  "Oh,Iguesswhoevertakesthemagazinewillbegladenoughtokeepyou!"
  "Doyouthinkso?Well,perhaps。ButIdon'tbelieveFulkersonwouldletmestandlongbetweenhimandanAngeloftherightdescription。"
  "Well,then,Ibelievehewould。Andyou'veneverseenanything,Basil,tomakeyoureallythinkthatMr。Fulkersondidn'tappreciateyoutotheutmost。"
  "IthinkIcameprettynearanundervaluationinthatLindautrouble。
  IshallalwayswonderwhatputabackboneintoFulkersonjustatthatcrisis。Fulkersondoesn'tstrikemeasthestuffofamoralhero。"
  "Atanyrate,hewasone,"saidMrs。March,"andthat'squiteenoughforme。"
  Marchdidnotanswer。"Whatanoblethinglifeis,anyway!HereIam,wellonthewaytofifty,aftertwenty-fiveyearsofhardwork,lookingforwardtothepotentialpoor-houseasconfidentlyasIdidinyouth。
  Wemighthavesavedalittlemorethanwehavesaved;butthelittlemorewouldn'tavailifIwereturnedoutofmyplacenow;andweshouldhavelivedsordidlytonopurpose。Someonealwayshasyoubythethroat,unlessyouhavesomeoneelseinyourgrip。Iwonderifthat'stheattitudetheAlmightyintendedHisrespectablecreaturestotaketowardoneanother!IwonderifHemeantourcivilization,thebattlewefightin,thegamewetrickin!IwonderifHeconsidersitfinal,andifthekingdomofheavenonearth,whichweprayfor——"
  "HaveyouseenLindauto-day?"Mrs。Marchasked。
  "Youinferreditfromthequalityofmypiety?"Marchlaughed,andthensuddenlysobered。"Yes,Isawhim。It'sgoingratherhardwithhim,I'mafraid。Theamputationdoesn'thealverywell;theshockwasverygreat,andhe'sold。It'lltaketime。There'ssomuchpainthattheyhavetokeephimunderopiates,andIdon'tthinkhefullyknewme。Atanyrate,Ididn'tgetmypietyfromhimto-day。"
  "It'shorrible!Horrible!"saidMrs。March。"Ican'tgetoverit!
  Afterlosinghishandinthewar,tolosehiswholearmnowinthisway!
  Itdoesseemtoocruel!Ofcourseheoughtn'ttohavebeenthere;wecansaythat。Butyououghtn'ttohavebeenthere,either,Basil。"
  "Well,Iwasn'texactlyadvisingthepolicetogoandclubtherailroadpresidents。"
  "NeitherwaspoorConradDryfoos。"
  "Idon'tdenyit。Allthatwasdistinctlythechanceoflifeanddeath。
  ThatbelongedtoGod;andnodoubtitwaslaw,thoughitseemschance。
  ButwhatIobjecttoisthiseconomicchance-worldinwhichwelive,andwhichwemenseemtohavecreated。Itoughttobelawasinflexibleinhumanaffairsastheorderofdayandnightinthephysicalworldthatifamanwillworkheshallbothrestandeat,andshallnotbeharassedwithanyquestionastohowhisreposeandhisprovisionshallcome。
  Nothinglessidealthanthissatisfiesthereason。Butinourstateofthingsnooneissecureofthis。Nooneissureoffindingwork;nooneissureofnotlosingit。Imayhavemyworktakenawayfrommeatanymomentbythecaprice,themood,theindigestionofamanwhohasnotthequalificationforknowingwhetherIdoitwell,orill。Atmytimeoflife——ateverytimeoflife——amanoughttofeelthatifhewillkeepondoinghisdutyheshallnotsufferinhimselforinthosewhoaredeartohim,exceptthroughnaturalcauses。Butnomancanfeelthisasthingsarenow;andsowegoon,pushingandpulling,climbingandcrawling,thrustingasideandtramplingunderfoot;lying,cheating,stealing;andthenwegettotheend,coveredwithbloodanddirtandsinandshame,andlookbackoverthewaywe'vecometoapalaceofourown,orthepoor-house,whichisabouttheonlypossessionwecanclaimincommonwithourbrother-men,Idon'tthinktheretrospectcanbepleasing。"
  "Iknow,Iknow!"saidhiswife。"Ithinkofthosethings,too,Basil。
  Lifeisn'twhatitseemswhenyoulookforwardtoit。ButIthinkpeoplewouldsufferless,andwouldn'thavetoworksohard,andcouldmakeallreasonableprovisionforthefuture,iftheywerenotsogreedyandsofoolish。"
  "Oh,withoutdoubt!Wecan'tputitallontheconditions;wemustputsomeoftheblameoncharacter。Butconditionsmakecharacter;andpeoplearegreedyandfoolish,andwishtohaveandtoshine,becausehavingandshiningarehelduptothembycivilizationasthechiefgoodoflife。Weallknowtheyarenotthechiefgood,perhapsnotgoodatall;butifsomeoneventurestosayso,alltherestofuscallhimafraudandacrank,andgomoilingandtoilingontothepalaceorthepoor-house。Wecan'thelpit。Ifonewerelessgreedyorlessfoolish,someoneelsewouldhaveandwouldshineathisexpense。Wedon'tmoilandtoiltoourselvesalone;thepalaceorthepoor-houseisnotmerelyforourselves,butforourchildren,whomwe'vebroughtupinthesuperstitionthathavingandshiningisthechiefgood。Wedarenotteachthemotherwise,forfeartheymayfalterinthefightwhenitcomestheirturn,andthechildrenofotherswillcrowdthemoutofthepalaceintothepoor-house。Ifwefeltsurethathonestworksharedbyallwouldbringthemhonestfoodsharedbyall,someheroicfewofus,whodidnotwishourchildrentoriseabovetheirfellows——thoughwecouldnotbeartohavethemfallbelow——mighttrustthemwiththetruth。Butwehavenosuchassurance,andsowegoontremblingbeforeDryfoosesandlivingingimcrackeries。"
  "Basil,Basil!Iwasalwayswillingtolivemoresimplythanyou。YouknowIwas!"
  "Iknowyoualwayssaidso,mydear。Buthowmanybell-ratchetsandspeaking-tubeswouldyoubewillingtohaveatthestreetdoorbelow?
  Irememberthatwhenwewerelookingforaflatyourejectedeverybuildingthathadabell-ratchetoraspeaking-tube,andwouldhavenothingtodowithanythathadmorethananelectricbutton;youwantedahall-boy,withelectricbuttonsalloverhim。Idon'tblameyou。I
  findsuchthingsquiteasnecessaryasyoudo。"
  "Anddoyoumeantosay,Basil,"sheasked,abandoningthisunprofitablebranchoftheinquiry,"thatyouarereallyuneasyaboutyourplace?
  thatyouareafraidMr。DryfoosmaygiveupbeinganAngel,andMr。
  Fulkersonmayplayyoufalse?"
  "Playmefalse?Oh,itwouldn'tbeplayingmefalse。Itwouldbemerelylookingoutforhimself,ifthenewAngelhadeditorialtastesandwantedmyplace。It'swhatanyonewoulddo。"
  "Youwouldn'tdoit,Basil!"
  "Wouldn'tI?Well,ifanyoneofferedmemoresalarythan'EveryOtherWeek'pays——say,twiceasmuch——whatdoyouthinkmydutytomysufferingfamilywouldbe?It'sgiveandtakeinthebusinessworld,Isabel;
  especiallytake。Butastobeinguneasy,I'mnot,intheleast。I'vethespiritofalion,whenitcomestosuchachanceasthat。WhenIseehowreadilythesensibilitiesofthepassingstrangercanbeworkedinNewYork,IthinkoftakinguptheroleofthatdesperatemanonThirdAvenuewhowentalonglookingforgarbageintheguttertoeat。IthinkIcouldpickupatleasttwentyorthirtycentsadaybythatlittlegame,andmaintainmyfamilyintheaffluenceit'sbeenaccustomedto。"
  "Basil!"criedhiswife。"Youdon'tmeantosaythatmanwasanimpostor!AndI'vegoneabout,eversince,feelingthatonesuchcaseinamillion,thebarepossibilityofit,wasenoughtojustifyallthatLindausaidabouttherichandthepoor!"
  Marchlaughedteasingly。"Oh,Idon'tsayhewasanimpostor。Perhapshereallywashungry;but,ifhewasn't,whatdoyouthinkofacivilizationthatmakestheopportunityofsuchafraud?thatgivesusallsuchabadconsciencefortheneedwhichisthatweweakentotheneedthatisn't?Supposethatpoorfellowwasn'tpersonallyfoundedonfact:nevertheless,herepresentedthetruth;hewastheidealofthesufferingwhichwouldbelesseffectiveifrealisticallytreated。Thatmanisagreatcomforttome。HeprobablyriotedfordaysonthatquarterIgavehim;madeadinnerverylikely,orachampagnesupper;andif'EveryOtherWeek'wantstogetridofme,Iintendtoworkthatracket。YoucanhangroundthecornerwithBella,andTomcancomeuptomeintears,atstatedintervals,andaskmeifI'vefoundanythingyet。
  Tobesure,wemightbearrestedandsentupsomewhere。Buteveninthatextremecaseweshouldbeprovidedfor。Ohno,I'mnotafraidoflosingmyplace!I'vemerelyasortofpsychologicalcuriositytoknowhowmenlikeDryfoosandFulkersonwillworkouttheproblembeforethem。"
  IX。
  ItwasacuriositywhichFulkersonhimselfshared,atleastconcerningDryfoos。"Idon'tknowwhattheoldman'sgoingtodo,"hesaidtoMarchthedayaftertheMarcheshadtalkedtheirfutureover。"Saidanythingtoyouyet?"
  "No,notaword。"
  "You'reanxious,Isuppose,sameasIam。Factis,"saidFulkerson,blushingalittle,"Ican'tasktohaveadaynamedtillIknowwhereI
  aminconnectionwiththeoldman。Ican'ttellwhetherI'vegottolookoutforsomethingelseorsomebodyelse。Ofcourse,it'sfullsoonyet。"
  "Yes,"Marchsaid,"muchsoonerthanitseemstous。We'resoanxiousaboutthefuturethatwedon'trememberhowveryrecentthepastis。"
  "That'ssomethingso。Theoldman'shardlyhadtimeyettopullhimselftogether。Well,I'mgladyoufeelthatwayaboutit,March。Iguessit'smoreofablowtohimthanwerealize。HewasagooddealboundupinCoonrod,thoughhedidn'talwaysusehimverywell。Well,Ireckonit'sapttohappensooftentimes;curioushowcruellovecanbe。Heigh?
  We'reanawfulmixture,March!"
  "Yes,that'sthemarvelandthecurse,asBrowningsays。"
  "Why,thatpoorboyhimself,"pursuedFulkerson,hadstreaksofthemuleinhimthatcouldgiveoddstoBeaton,andhemusthavetriedtheoldmanbythewayhewouldgiveintohiswillandholdoutagainsthisjudgment。Idon'tbelieveheeverbudgedahairs-breadthfromhisoriginalpositionaboutwantingtobeapreacherandnotwantingtobeabusinessman。Well,ofcourse!Idon'tthinkbusinessisallinall;
  butitmusthavemadetheoldmanmadtofindthatwithoutsayinganything,ordoinganythingtoshowit,andafterseemingtocomeovertohisground,andreallycoming,practically,Coonrodwasjustexactlywherehefirstplantedhimself,everytime。"
  "Yes,peoplethathaveconvictionsaredifficult。Fortunately,they'rerare。"
  "Doyouthinkso?Itseemstomethateverybody'sgotconvictions。
  Beatonhimself,whohasn'taprincipletothrowatadog,hasgotconvictionsthesizeofabarn。Theyain'talwaysthesameones,Iknow,butthey'realwaystothesameeffect,asfarasBeaton'sbeingNumberOneisconcerned。Theoldman'sgotconvictionsordidhave,unlessthisthinglatelyhasshakenhimallup——andhebelievesthatmoneywilldoeverything。ColonelWoodburn'sgotconvictionsthathewouldn'tpartwithforuntoldmillions。Why,March,yougotconvictionsyourself!"
  "HaveI?"saidMarch。"Idon'tknowwhattheyare。"
  "Well,neitherdoI;butIknowyouwerereadytokickthetroughoverforthemwhentheoldmanwantedustobounceLindauthattime。"
  "Ohyes,"saidMarch;herememberedthefact;buthewasstilluncertainjustwhattheconvictionswerethathehadbeensostanchfor。
  "Isupposewecouldhavegotalongwithoutyou,"Fulkersonmusedaloud。
  "It'sastonishinghowyoualwayscangetalonginthisworldwithoutthemanthatissimplyindispensable。Makesafellowrealizethathecouldtakeadayoffnowandthenwithoutderangingthesolarsystemagreatdeal。Nowhere'sCoonrod——or,rather,heisn't。ButthatboymanagedhispartoftheschoonersowellthatIusedtotremblewhenIthoughtofhisgettingthebetteroftheoldmanandgoingintoaconventorsomethingofthatkind;andnowhereheis,snuffedoutinhalfasecond,andIdon'tbelievebutwhatweshallbesailingalongjustaschipperasusualinsideofthirtydays。IreckonitwillbringtheoldmantothepointwhenIcometotalkwithhimaboutwho'stobeputinCoonrod'splace。Idon'tlikeverywelltostartthesubjectwithhim;butit'sgottobedonesometime。"
  "Yes,"Marchadmitted。"It'sterribletothinkhowunnecessaryeventhebestandwisestofusistothepurposesofProvidence。WhenIlookedatthatpooryoungfellow'sfacesometimes——sogentleandtrueandpure——
  Iusedtothinktheworldwasappreciablyricherforhisbeinginit。
  Butareweappreciablypoorerforhisbeingoutofitnow?"
  "No,Idon'treckonweare,"saidFulkerson。"AndwhatalotoftherawmaterialofallkindstheAlmightymusthave,towasteusthewayHeseemstodo。ThinkofthrowingawayapreciouscreaturelikeCoonrodDryfoosononechanceinathousandofgettingthatoldfoolofaLindauoutofthewayofbeingclubbed!ForIsupposethatwaswhatCoonrodwasupto。Say!HaveyoubeenroundtoseeLindauto-day?"
  SomethinginthetoneorthemannerofFulkersonstartledMarch。"No!
  Ihaven'tseenhimsinceyesterday。"
  "Well,Idon'tknow,"saidFulkerson。"IguessIsawhimalittlewhileafteryoudid,andthatyoungdoctorthereseemedtofeelkindofworriedabouthim。
  Ornotworried,exactly;theycan'taffordtoletsuchthingsworrythem,Isuppose;but——"
  "He'sworse?"askedMarch。
  "Oh,hedidn'tsayso。ButIjustwonderedifyou'dseenhimto-day。"
  "IthinkI'llgonow,"saidMarch,withapangatheart。HehadgoneeverydaytoseeLindau,butthisdayhehadthoughthewouldnotgo,andthatwaswhyhisheartsmotehim。HeknewthatifhewereinLindau'splaceLindauwouldneverhavelefthissideifhecouldhavehelpedit。
  Marchtriedtobelievethatthecasewasthesame,asitstoodnow;itseemedtohimthathewasalwaysgoingtoorfromthehospital;hesaidtohimselfthatitmustdoLindauharmtobevisitedsomuch。ButbeknewthatthiswasnottruewhenhewasmetatthedoorofthewardwhereLindaulaybytheyoungdoctor,whohadcometofeelapersonalinterestinMarch'sinterestinLindau。
  Hesmiledwithoutgayety,andsaid,"He'sjustgoing。"
  "What!Discharged?"
  "Ohno。Hehasbeenfailingveryfastsinceyousawhimyesterday,andnow——"Theyhadbeenwalkingsoftlyandtalkingsoftlydowntheaislebetweenthelongrowsofbeds。"Wouldyoucaretoseehim?"
  Thedoctormadeaslightgesturetowardthewhitecanvasscreenwhichinsuchplacesformsthedeath-chamberofthepoorandfriendless。"Comeroundthisway——hewon'tknowyou!I'vegotratherfondofthepooroldfellow。Hewouldn'thaveaclergyman——sortofagnostic,isn'the?A
  goodmanyoftheseGermansare——buttheyoungladywho'sbeencomingtoseehim——"
  Theybothstopped。Lindau'sgrand,patriarchalhead,foreshortenedtotheirview,laywhiteuponthepillow,andhisbroad,whitebeardfloweduponthesheet,whichheavedwiththoselonglastbreaths。BesidehisbedMargaretVancewaskneeling;herveilwasthrownback,andherfacewaslifted;sheheldclaspedbetweenherhandsthehandofthedyingman;
  shemovedherlipsinaudibly。
  X。
  Inspiteoftheexperienceofthewholeracefromtimeimmemorial,whendeathcomestoanyoneweknowwehelplesslyregarditasanincidentoflife,whichwillpresentlygoonasbefore。Perhapsthisisaninstinctiveperceptionofthetruththatitdoesgoonsomewhere;butwehaveasenseofdeathasabsolutelytheendevenforearthonlyifitrelatestosomeoneremoteorindifferenttous。MarchtriedtoprojectLindautothenecessarydistancefromhimselfinordertorealizethefactinhiscase,buthecouldnot,thoughthemanwithwhomhisyouthhadbeenassociatedinapoeticfriendshiphadnotactuallyreenteredtheregionofhisaffectiontothesamedegree,orinanylikedegree。Thechangedconditionsforbadethat。Hehadasorenessofheartconcerninghim;buthecouldnotmakesurewhetherthissorenesswasgriefforhisdeath,orremorseforhisownuncandorwithhimaboutDryfoos,oraforebodingofthataccountingwithhisconsciencewhichheknewhiswifewouldnowexactofhimdowntothelastminutestparticularoftheirjointandseveralbehaviortowardLindaueversincetheyhadmethiminNewYork。
  Hefeltsomethingknockagainsthisshoulder,andhelookeduptohavehishatstruckfromhisheadbyahorse'snose。Hesawthehorseputhisfootonthehat,andhereflected,"Nowitwillalwayslooklikeanaccordion,"andheheardthehorse'sdriveraddresshimsomesarcasmsbeforehecouldfullyawakentothesituation。HewasstandingbareheadedinthemiddleofFifthAvenueandblockingthetideofcarriagesflowingineitherdirection。AmongthefacesputoutofthecarriagewindowshesawthatofDryfooslookingfromacoupe。Theoldmanknewhim,andsaid,"Jumpinhere,Mr。March";andMarch,whohadmechanicallypickeduphishat,andwasthinking,"NowIshallhavetotellIsabelaboutthisatonce,andshewillnevertrustmeonthestreetagainwithouther,"mechanicallyobeyed。HerconfidenceinhimhadbeenunderminedbyhisbeingsonearConradwhenhewasshot;anditwentthroughhismindthathewouldgetDryfoostodrivehimtoahatter's,wherehecouldbuyanewhat,andnotbeobligedtoconfesshisnarrowescapetohiswifetilltheincidentwassomedaysoldandshecouldbearitbetter。ItquitedroveLindau'sdeathoutofhismindforthemoment;
  andwhenDryfoossaidifhewasgoinghomehewoulddriveuptothefirstcross-streetandturnbackwithhim,Marchsaidhewouldbegladifhewouldtakehimtoahat-store。TheoldmanputhisheadoutagainandtoldthedrivertotakethemtotheFifthAvenueHotel。"There'sahat-
  storearoundtheresomewhere,seemstome,"hesaid;andtheytalkedofMarch'saccidentaswellastheycouldintherattleandclatterofthestreettilltheyreachedtheplace。Marchgothishat,passingajokewiththehatterabouttheimpossibilityofpressinghisoldhatoveragain,andcameouttothankDryfoosandtakeleaveofhim。
  "Ifyouain'tinanygreathurry,"theoldmansaid,"Iwishyou'dgetinhereaminute。I'dliketohavealittletalkwithyou。"
  "Oh,certainly,"saidMarch,andhethought:"It'scomingnowaboutwhatheintendstodowith'EveryOtherWeek。'Well,Imightaswellhaveallthemiseryatonceandhaveitover。"
  Dryfooscalleduptohisdriver,whobenthisheaddownsidewisetolisten:"GooverthereonMadisonAvenue,ontothatasphalt,andkeepdrivin'upanddowntillIstopyou。Ican'thearmyselfthinkonthesepavements,"hesaidtoMarch。Butaftertheygotupontheasphalt,andbegansmoothlyrollingoverit,heseemedinnohastetobegin。Atlasthesaid,"Iwantedtotalkwithyouaboutthat——thatDutchmanthatwasatmydinner——Lindau,"andMarch'sheartgaveajumpwithwonderwhetherhecouldalreadyhaveheardofLindau'sdeath;butinaninstantheperceivedthatthiswasimpossible。"Ibeentalkin'withFulkersonabouthim,andhesaystheyhadtotakethebalanceofhisarmoff。"
  Marchnodded;itseemedtohimhecouldnotspeak。Hecouldnotmakeoutfromtheclosefaceoftheoldmananythingofhismotive。Itwasset,butsetasapieceofbrokenmechanismiswhenithaslostthepowertorelaxitself。Therewasnootherhistoryinitofwhatthemanhadpassedthroughinhisson'sdeath。
  "Idon'tknow,"Dryfoosresumed,lookingasideattheclothwindow-strap,whichhekeptfingering,"asyouquiteunderstoodwhatmademethemaddest。Ididn'ttellhimIcouldtalkDutch,becauseIcan'tkeepitupwitharegularGerman;butmyfatherwasPennsylvanyDutch,andI
  couldunderstandwhathewassayingtoyouaboutme。IknowIhadnobusinesstounderstoodit,afterIlethimthinkIcouldn'tbutIdid,andIdidn'tlikeverywelltohaveamancallin'meatraitorandatyrantatmyowntable。Well,Ilookatitdifferentlynow,andIreckonIhadbetterhavetriedtoputupwithit;andIwould,ifIcouldhaveknown——"Hestoppedwithaquiveringlip,andthenwenton:"Then,again,Ididn'tlikehistalkin'thatpaternalismofhis。Ialwayshearditwastheworstkindofthingforthecountry;Iwasbroughtuptothinkthebestgovernmentwastheonethatgovernstheleast;andIdidn'twanttohearthatkindoftalkfromamanthatwaslivin'onmymoney。
  Icouldn'tbearitfromhim。OrIthoughtIcouldn'tbefore——before——"
  Hestoppedagain,andgulped。"Ireckonnowthereain'tanythingI
  couldn'tbear。"Marchwasmovedbythebluntwordsandthemutestareforwardwithwhichtheyended。"Mr。Dryfoos,Ididn'tknowthatyouunderstoodLindau'sGerman,orIshouldn'thaveallowedhimhewouldn'thaveallowedhimself——togoon。Hewouldn'thaveknowinglyabusedhispositionofguesttocensureyou,nomatterhowmuchhecondemnedyou。"
  "Idon'tcareforitnow,"saidDryfoos。"It'sallpastandgone,asfarasI'mconcerned;butIwantedyoutoseethatIwasn'ttryin'topunishhimforhisopinions,asyousaid。"
  "No;Iseenow,"Marchassented,thoughhethought,hispositionstilljustified。"Iwish——"
  "Idon'tknowasIunderstandmuchabouthisopinions,anyway;butI
  ain'treadytosayIwantthemendependentonmetomanagemybusinessforme。Ialwaystriedtodothesquarethingbymyhands;andinthatparticularcaseoutthereItookonalltheoldhandsjustasfastastheylefttheirUnion。AsforthegameIcameonthem,itwasdogeatdog,anyway。"
  MarchcouldhavelaughedtothinkhowfarthisoldmanwasfromevenconceivingofLindau'spoint'ofview,andhowhewassayingtheworstofhimselfthatLindaucouldhavesaidofhim。Noonecouldhavecharacterizedthekindofthinghehaddonemoreseverelythanhewhenhecalleditdogeatdog。
  "There'sagreatdealtobesaidonbothsides,"Marchbegan,hopingtoleadupthroughthisgeneralitytothefactofLindau'sdeath;buttheoldmanwenton:
  "Well,allIwantedhimtoknowisthatIwasn'ttryingtopunishhimforwhathesaidaboutthingsingeneral。Younaturallygotthatidea,I
  reckon;butIalwayswentinforlettin'peoplesaywhattheypleaseandthinkwhattheyplease;it'stheonlywayinafreecountry。"
  "I'mafraid,Mr。Dryfoos,thatitwouldmakelittledifferencetoLindaunow——"
  "Idon'tsupposehebearsmaliceforit,"saidDryfoos,"butwhatIwanttodoistohavehimtoldso。HecouldunderstandjustwhyIdidn'twanttobecalledhardnames,andyetIdidn'tobjecttohisthinkin'whateverhepleased。I'dlikehimtoknow——"
  "Noonecanspeaktohim,noonecantellhim,"Marchbeganagain,butagainDryfoospreventedhimfromgoingon。
  "Iunderstandit'sadelicatething;andI'mnotaskin'youtodoit。
  WhatIwouldreallyliketodo——ifyouthinkhecouldbepreparedforit,someway,andcouldstandit——wouldbetogotohimmyself,andtellhimjustwhatthetroublewas。I'minhopes,ifIdonethat,hecouldseehowIfeltaboutit。"
  ApictureofDryfoosgoingtothedeadLindauwithhisvainregretspresenteditselftoMarch,andhetriedoncemoretomaketheoldmanunderstand。"Mr。Dryfoos,"besaid,"Lindauispastallthatforever,"
  andhefelttheghastlycomedyofitwhenDryfooscontinued,withoutheedinghim"IgotaparticularreasonwhyIwanthimtobelieveitwasn'thisideasIobjectedto——themideasofhisaboutthegovernmentcarryin'everythingonandgivin'work。Idon'tunderstand'emexactly,butIfoundawritin'——among——myson's-things"heseemedtoforcethewordsthroughhisteeth,"andIreckonhe——thought——thatway。Kindofadiary——wherehe——putdown-histhoughts。Mysonandme——wedifferedaboutagood-
  manythings。"Hischinshook,andfromtimetotimehestopped。"I
  wasn'tverygoodtohim,Ireckon;IcrossedhimwhereIguessIgotnobusinesstocrosshim;butIthoughteverythingof——Coonrod。Hewasthebestboy,fromababy,thateverwas;justsopatientandmild,anddonewhateverhewastold。Ioughtto'a'lethimbeenapreacher!Oh,myson!myson!"Thesobscouldnotbekeptbackanylonger;theyshooktheoldmanwithaviolencethatmadeMarchafraidforhim;buthecontrolledhimselfatlastwithaseriesofhoarsesoundslikebarks。"Well,it'sallpastandgone!ButasIunderstandyoufromwhatyousaw,whenCoonrodwas——killed,hewastryin'tosavethatoldmanfromtrouble?"
  Yes,yes!Itseemedsotome。"
  "That'lldo,then!Iwantyoutohavehimcomebackandwriteforthebookwhenhegetswell。Iwantyoutofindoutandletmeknowifthere'sanythingIcandoforhim。I'llfeelasifIdoneit——formy——
  son。I'lltakehimintomyownhouse,anddoforhimthere,ifyousayso,whenhegetssohecanbemoved。I'llwaitonhimmyself。It'swhatCoonrod'ddo,ifhewashere。Idon'tfeelanyhardnesstohimbecauseitwashimthatgotCoonrodkilled,asyoumightsay,inonesenseoftheterm;butI'vetriedtothinkitout,andIfeellikeIwasallthemorebeholdentohimbecausemysondiedtryin'tosavehim。WhateverIdo,I'llbedoin'itforCoonrod,andthat'senoughforme。"Heseemedtohavefinished,andheturnedtoMarchasiftohearwhathehadtosay。
  Marchhesitated。"I'mafraid,Mr。Dryfoos——Didn'tFulkersontellyouthatLindauwasverysick?"
  "Yes,ofcourse。Buthe'sallright,hesaid。"
  Nowithadtocome,thoughthefacthadbeenlatterlyplayingfastandloosewithMarch'sconsciousness。Somethingalmostmadehimsmile;thewillingnesshehadoncefelttogivethisoldmanpain;thenheconsoledhimselfbythinkingthatatleasthewasnotobligedtomeetDryfoos'swishtomakeatonementwiththefactthatLindauhadrenouncedhim,andwouldonnotermsworkforsuchamanashe,orsufferanykindnessfromhim。InthislightLindauseemedtheharderofthetwo,andMarchhadthemomentaryforcetosay"Mr。Dryfoos——itcan'tbe。Lindau——Ihavejustcomefromhim——isdead。"
  XI。
  "Howdidhetakeit?Howcouldhebearit?Oh,Basil!Iwonderyoucouldhavethehearttosayittohim。Itwascruel!"
  "Yes,cruelenough,mydear,"Marchownedtohiswife,whentheytalkedthematteroveronhisreturnhome。Hecouldnotwaittillthechildrenwereoutoftheway,andafterwardneitherhenorhiswifewassorrythathehadspokenofitbeforethem。Thegirlcriedplentifullyforheroldfriendwhowasdead,andsaidshehatedMr。Dryfoos,andthenwassorryforhim,too;andtheboylistenedtoall,andspokewithaserioussensethatpleasedhisfather。"Butastohowhetookit,"Marchwentontoanswerhiswife'squestionaboutDryfoos——"howdoanyofustakeathingthathurts?Someofuscryout,andsomeofusdon't。Dryfoosdrewakindoflong,quiveringbreath,asachilddoeswhenitgrieves——there'ssomethingcuriouslysimpleandprimitiveabouthim——anddidn'tsayanything。Afterawhileheaskedmehowhecouldseethepeopleatthehospitalabouttheremains;IgavehimmycardtotheyoungdoctortherethathadchargeofLindau。Isupposehewasstillcarryingforwardhisplanofreparationinhismind——tothedeadforthedead。Buthowuseless!IfhecouldhavetakenthelivingLindauhomewithhim,andcaredforhimallhisdays,whatwouldithaveprofitedthegentlecreaturewhoselifehisworldlyambitionvexedandthwartedhere?
  HemightaswellofferasacrificeatConrad'sgrave。Children,"saidMarch,turningtothem,"deathisanexilethatnoremorseandnolovecanreach。Rememberthat,andbegoodtoeveryonehereonearth,foryourlongingtoretrieveanyharshnessorunkindnesstothedeadwillbetheveryecstasyofanguishtoyou。Iwonder,"hemused,"ifoneofthereasonswhywe'reshutuptoourignoranceofwhatistobehereafterisn'tbecauseifweweresureofanotherworldwemightbestillmorebrutaltooneanotherhere,inthehopeofmakingreparationsomewhereelse。Perhaps,ifweevercometoobeythelawofloveonearth,themysteryofdeathwillbetakenaway。"
  "Well"——theancestralPuritanismspokeinMrs。March——"thesetwooldmenhavebeenterriblypunished。Theyhavebothbeenviolentandwilful,andtheyhavebothbeenpunished。Nooneneedevertellmethereisnotamoralgovernmentoftheuniverse!"
  Marchalwaysdislikedtohearhertalkinthisway,whichdidbothherheadandheartinjustice。"AndConrad,"hesaid,"whatwashepunishedfor?"
  "He?"sheanswered,inanexaltation——"hesufferedforthesinsofothers。"
  "Ah,well,ifyouputitinthatway,yes。Thatgoesoncontinually。
  That'sanothermystery。"
  Hefelltobroodingonit,andpresentlyheheardhissonsaying,"Isuppose,papa,thatMr。Lindaudiedinabadcause?"
  Marchwasstartled。HehadalwaysbeensosorryforLindau,andadmiredhiscourageandgenerositysomuch,thathehadneverfairlyconsideredthisquestion。"Why,yes,"heanswered;"hediedinthecauseofdisorder;hewastryingtoobstructthelaw。Nodoubttherewasawrongthere,aninconsistencyandaninjusticethathefeltkeenly;butitcouldnotbereachedinhiswaywithoutgreaterwrong。"
  "Yes;that'swhatIthought,"saidtheboy。"Andwhat'stheuseofoureverfightingaboutanythinginAmerica?Ialwaysthoughtwecouldvoteanythingwewanted。"
  "Wecan,ifwe'rehonest,anddon'tbuyandselloneanother'svotes,"
  saidhisfather。"AndmenlikeLindau,whorenouncetheAmericanmeansashopeless,andlettheirloveofjusticehurrythemintosympathywithviolence——yes,theyarewrong;andpoorLindaudiddieinabadcause,asyousay,Tom。"