"Itcangivemeup,too。"
"Oh,nonsense!Iguessthere'snotmuchfearofthat。Now,IwantyoutotelegraphMr。Fulkerson,sothathe'llfindthedespatchwaitingforhimwhenhegetstoNewYork。I'lltakethewholeresponsibility,Basil,andI'llriskalltheconsequences。"
III。
March'sfacehadsoberedmoreandmoreasshefollowedonehopefulburstwithanother,andnowitexpressedapositivepain。Butheforcedasmileandsaid:"There'salittleconditionattached。Wheredidyousupposeitwastobepublished?"
"Why,inBoston,ofcourse。Whereelseshoulditbepublished?"
Shelookedathimfortheintentionofhisquestionsosearchinglythathequitegaveuptheattempttobegayaboutit。"No,"hesaid,gravely,"it'stobepublishedinNewYork。"
Shefellbackinherchair。"InNewYork?"Sheleanedforwardoverthetabletowardhim,asiftomakesurethatsheheardaright,andsaid,withallthekeenreproachthathecouldhaveexpected:"InNewYork,Basil!Oh,howcouldyouhaveletmegoon?"
Hehadasufficientlyruefulfaceinowning:"Ioughtn'ttohavedoneit,butIgotstartedwrong。Icouldn'thelpputtingthebestfoot,forwardatfirst——oraslongasthewholethingwasintheair。Ididn'tknowthatyouwouldtakesomuchtothegeneralenterprise,orelseIshouldhavementionedtheNewYorkconditionatonce;but,ofcourse,thatputsanendtoit。"
"Oh,ofcourse,"sheassented,sadly。"WeCOULDN'TgotoNewYork。"
"No,Iknowthat,"hesaid;andwiththisaperversedesiretotempthertotheimpossibilityawokeinhim,thoughhewasreallyquitecoldabouttheaffairhimselfnow。"FulkersonthoughtwecouldgetaniceflatinNewYorkforaboutwhattheinterestandtaxescametohere,andprovisionsarecheaper。ButIshouldrathernotexperimentatmytimeoflife。IfIcouldhavebeencaughtyounger,ImighthavebeeninuredtoNewYork,butIdon'tbelieveIcouldstanditnow。"
"HowIhatetohaveyoutalkthatway,Basil!Youareyoungenoughtotryanything——anywhere;butyouknowIdon'tlikeNewYork。Idon'tapproveofit。It'ssobig,andsohideous!OfcourseIshouldn'tmindthat;butI'vealwayslivedinBoston,andthechildrenwerebornandhavealltheirfriendshipsandassociationshere。"Sheadded,withthehelplessnessthatdiscreditedhergoodsenseanddidherinjustice,"IhavejustgotthembothintotheFridayafternoonclassatPapanti's,andyouknowhowdifficultthatis。"
Marchcouldnotfailtotakeadvantageofanoccasionlikethis。
"Well,thataloneoughttosettleit。Underthecircumstances,itwouldbeflyinginthefaceofProvidencetoleaveBoston。Themerefactofabrilliantopeninglikethatofferedmeon'TheMicrobe,'andthehalcyonfuturewhichFulkersonpromisesifwe'llcometoNewYork,isasdustinthebalanceagainsttheadvantagesoftheFridayafternoonclass。"
"Basil,"sheappealed,solemnly,"haveIeverinterferedwithyourcareer?"
"Ineverhadanyforyoutointerferewith,mydear。"
"Basil!Haven'tIalwayshadfaithinyou?Anddon'tyousupposethatifIthoughtitwouldreallybeforyouradvancementIwouldgotoNewYorkoranywherewithyou?"
"No,mydear,Idon't,"heteased。"Ifitwouldbeformysalvation,yes,perhaps;butnotshortofthat;andIshouldhavetoprovebyacloudofwitnessesthatitwould。Idon'tblameyou。Iwasn'tborninBoston,butIunderstandhowyoufeel。Andreally,mydear,"headded,withoutirony,"IneverseriouslythoughtofaskingyoutogotoNewYork。IwasdazzledbyFulkerson'soffer,I'llownthat;buthischoiceofmeaseditorsappedmyconfidenceinhim。"
"Idon'tliketohearyousaythat,Basil,"sheentreated。
"Well,ofcoursethereweremitigatingcircumstances。IcouldseethatFulkersonmeanttokeepthewhip-handhimself,andthatwasreassuring。
And,besides,iftheReciprocityLifeshouldhappennottowantmyservicesanylonger,itwouldn'tbequitelikegivingupacertainty;
though,asamatterofbusiness,IletFulkersongetthatimpression;I
feltrathersneakingtodoit。Butiftheworstcomestotheworst,I
canlookaboutforsomethingtodoinBoston;and,anyhow,peopledon'tstarveontwothousandayear,thoughit'sconvenienttohavefive。Thefactis,I'mtoooldtochangesoradically。Ifyoudon'tlikemysayingthat,thenyouare,Isabel,andsoarethechildren。I'venorighttotakethemfromthehomewe'vemade,andtochangethewholecourseoftheirlives,unlessIcanassurethemofsomething,andIcan'tassurethemofanything。Bostonisbigenoughforus,andit'scertainlyprettierthanNewYork。IalwaysfeelalittleproudofhailingfromBoston;mypleasureintheplacemountsthefartherIgetawayfromit。
ButIdoappreciateit,mydear;I'venomoredesiretoleaveitthanyouhave。Youmaybesurethatifyoudon'twanttotakethechildrenoutoftheFridayafternoonclass,Idon'twanttoleavemylibraryhere,andallthewaysI'vegotsetin。We'llkeepon。Verylikelythecompanywon'tsupplantme,andifitdoes,andWatkinsgetstheplace,he'llgivemeasubordinatepositionofsomesort。Cheerup,Isabel!IhaveputSatanandhisangel,Fulkerson,behindme,andit'sallright。Let'sgointothechildren。"
HecameroundthetabletoIsabel,whereshesatinagrowingdistraction,andliftedherbythewaistfromherchair。
Shesigheddeeply。"Shallwetellthechildrenaboutit?"
"No。What'stheuse,now?"
"Therewouldn'tbeany,"sheassented。Whentheyenteredthefamilyroom,wheretheboyandgirlsatoneithersideofthelampworkingoutthelessonsforMondaywhichtheyhadleftoverfromthedaybefore,sheasked,"Children,howwouldyouliketoliveinNewYork?"
Bellamadehastetogetinherwordfirst。"AndgiveuptheFridayafternoonclass?"shewailed。
Tomgrowledfromhisbook,withoutliftinghiseyes:"Ishouldn'twanttogotoColumbia。Theyhaven'tgotanydormitories,andyouhavetoboardroundanywhere。AreyougoingtoNewYork?"Henowdeignedtolookupathisfather。
"No,Tom。YouandBellahavedecidedmeagainstit。Yourperspectiveshowstheaffairinitstrueproportions。IhadanoffertogotoNewYork,butI'verefusedit。"
IV
March'sironyfellharmlessfromthechildren'spreoccupationwiththeirownaffairs,butheknewthathiswifefeltit,andthisaddedtothebitternesswhichpromptedit。HeblamedherforlettingherprovincialnarrownesspreventhisacceptingFulkerson'sofferquiteasmuchasifhehadotherwiseentirelywishedtoacceptit。Hisworld,likemostworlds,hadbeensuperficiallyadisappointment。Hewasnoricherthanatthebeginning,thoughinmarryinghehadgivenupsometastes,somepreferences,someaspirations,inthehopeofindulgingthemlater,withlargermeansandlargerleisure。Hiswifehadnoturgedhimtodoit;infact,herpride,asshesaid,wasinhisfitnessforthelifehehadrenounced;butshehadacquiesced,andtheyhadbeenveryhappytogether。
Thatistosay,theymadeuptheirquarrelsorignoredthem。
Theyoftenaccusedeachotherofbeingselfishandindifferent,butsheknewthathewouldalwayssacrificehimselfforherandthechildren;
andhe,onhispart,withmanygibesandmockeries,whollytrustedinher。Theyhadgrownpracticallytolerantofeachother'sdisagreeabletraits;andthedangerthatreallythreatenedthemwasthattheyshouldgrowtoowellsatisfiedwiththemselves,ifnotwitheachother。Theywerenotsentimental,theywererathermatter-of-factintheirmotives;
buttheyhadbothasortofhumorousfondnessforsentimentality。Theylikedtoplaywiththeromantic,fromthesafevantage-groundoftheirrealpracticality,andtodivinethepoetryofthecommonplace。Theirpeculiarpointofviewseparatedthemfrommostotherpeople,withwhomtheirmeansofself-comparisonwerenotsogoodsincetheirmarriageasbefore。Thentheyhadtravelledandseenmuchoftheworld,andtheyhadformedtasteswhichtheyhadnotalwaysbeenabletoindulge,butofwhichtheyfeltthatthepossessionreflecteddistinctiononthem。Itenabledthemtolookdownuponthosewhowerewithoutsuchtastes;buttheywerenotill-natured,andsotheydidnotlookdownsomuchwithcontemptaswithamusement。Intheirunfashionableneighborhoodtheyhadthefameofbeingnotexclusiveprecisely,butverymuchwrappedupinthemselvesandtheirchildren。
Mrs。Marchwasreputedtobeverycultivated,andMr。Marchevenmoreso,amongthesimplerfolkaroundthem。Theirhousehadsomegoodpictures,whichheraunthadbroughthomefromEuropeinmoreaffluentdays,anditaboundedinbooksonwhichhespentmorethanheought。Theyhadbeautifieditineveryway,andhadunconsciouslytakencredittothemselvesforit。Theyfelt,withaglowalmostofvirtue,howperfectlyitfittedtheirlivesandtheirchildren's,andtheybelievedthatsomehowitexpressedtheircharacters——thatitwaslikethem。Theywentoutverylittle;sheremainedshutupinitsrefinement,workingthegoodofherown;andhewenttohisbusiness,andhurriedbacktoforgetit,anddreamhisdreamofintellectualachievementintheflatteringatmosphereofhersympathy。HecouldnotconcealfromhimselfthathisdividedlifewassomewhatlikeCharlesLamb's,andthereweretimeswhen,ashehadexpressedtoFulkerson,hebelievedthatitsdivisionwasfavorabletothefreshnessofhisinterestinliterature。Itcertainlykeptitahighprivilege,asacredrefuge。Nowandthenhewrotesomething,andgotitprintedafterlongdelays,andwhentheymetontheSt。LawrenceFulkersonhadsomeofMarch'sversesinhispocket-book,whichhehadcutoutofastraynewspaperandcarriedaboutforyears,becausetheypleasedhisfancysomuch;theyformedanimmediatebondofunionbetweenthemenwhentheirauthorshipwastracedandowned,andthisgaveaprettycolorofromancetotheiracquaintance。But,forthemostpart,Marchwassatisfiedtoread。Hewasproudofreadingcritically,andhekeptinthecurrentofliteraryinterestsandcontroversies。Itallseemedtohim,andtohiswifeatsecond-hand,verymeritorious;hecouldnothelpcontrastinghislifeanditsinnerelegancewiththatofothermenwhohadnosuchresources。Hethoughtthathewasnotarrogantaboutit,becausehedidfulljusticetothegoodqualitiesofthoseotherpeople;
hecongratulatedhimselfuponthedemocraticinstinctswhichenabledhimtodothis;andneitherhenorhiswifesupposedthattheywereselfishpersons。Onthecontrary,theywereverysympathetic;therewasnogoodcausethattheydidnotwishwell;theyhadagenerousscornofallkindsofnarrow-heartedness;ifithadevercomeintotheirwaytosacrificethemselvesforothers,theythoughttheywouldhavedoneso,buttheyneveraskedwhyithadnotcomeintheirway。Theywereverygentleandkind,evenwhenmostelusive;andtheytaughttheirchildrentoloatheallmannerofsocialcruelty。Marchwasofsowatchfulaconscienceinsomerespectsthathedeniedhimselfthepensivepleasureoflapsingintothemelancholyofunfulfilledaspirations;buthedidnotseethat,ifhehadabandonedthem,ithadbeenforwhathehelddearer;generallyhefeltasifhehadturnedfromthemwithahigh,altruisticaim。Thepracticalexpressionofhislifewasthatitwasenoughtoprovidewellforhisfamily;tohavecultivatedtastes,andtogratifythemtotheextentofhismeans;toberatherdistinguished,eveninthesimplificationofhisdesires。Hebelieved,andhiswifebelieved,thatifthetimeevercamewhenhereallywishedtomakeasacrificetothefulfilmentoftheaspirationssolongpostponed,shewouldbereadytojoinwithheartandhand。
Whenhewenttoherroomfromhislibrary,whereshelefthimthewholeeveningwiththechildren,hefoundherbeforetheglassthoughtfullyremovingthefirstdismantlingpinfromherbackhair。
"Ican'thelpfeeling,"shegrievedintothemirror,"thatit'sIwhokeepyoufromacceptingthatoffer。Iknowitis!IcouldgoWestwithyou,orintoanewcountry——anywhere;butNewYorkterrifiesme。Idon'tlikeNewYork,Ineverdid;itdisheartensanddistractsme;Ican'tfindmyselfinit;Ishouldn'tknowhowtoshop。IknowI'mfoolishandnarrowandprovincial,"shewenton,"butIcouldneverhaveanyinnerquietinNewYork;Icouldn'tliveinthespiritthere。Isupposepeopledo。Itcan't,bethatallthesemillions——'
"Oh,notsobadasthat!"Marchinterposed,laughing。"Therearen'tquitetwo。"
"Ithoughttherewerefourorfive。Well,nomatter。YouseewhatIam,Basil。I'mterriblylimited。Icouldn'tmakemysympathiesgoroundtwomillionpeople;Ishouldbewretched。IsupposeI'mstandinginthewayofyourhighestinterest,butIcan'thelpit。Wetookeachotherforbetterorworse,andyoumusttrytobearwithme——"Shebrokeoffandbegantocry。
"Stopit!"shoutedMarch。"ItellyouInevercaredanythingforFulkerson'sschemeorentertaineditseriously,andIshouldn'tifhe'dproposedtocarryitoutinBoston。"Thiswasnotquitetrue,butintheretrospectitseemedsufficientlysoforthepurposesofargument。
"Don'tsayanotherwordaboutit。Thething'sovernow,andIdon'twanttothinkofitanymore。Wecouldn'tchangeitsnatureifwetalkedallnight。ButIwantyoutounderstandthatitisn'tyourlimitationsthatareintheway。It'smine。Ishouldn'thavethecouragetotakesuchaplace;Idon'tthinkI'mfitforit,andthat'sthelongandshortofit。"
"Oh,youdon'tknowhowithurtsmetohaveyousaythat,Basil。"
Thenextmorning,astheysattogetheratbreakfast,withoutthechildren,whomtheyletlielateonSunday,Mrs。Marchsaidtoherhusband,silentoverhisfish-ballsandbakedbeans:"WewillgotoNewYork。I'vedecidedit。"
"Well,ittakestwotodecidethat,"Marchretorted。"WearenotgoingtoNewYork。"
"Yes,weare。I'vethoughtitout。Now,listen。"
"Oh,I'mwillingtolisten,"heconsented,airily。
"You'vealwayswantedtogetoutoftheinsurancebusiness,andnowwiththatfearofbeingturnedoutwhichyouhaveyoumustn'tneglectthisoffer。Isupposeithasitsrisks,butit'sariskkeepingonasweare;
andperhapsyouwillmakeagreatsuccessofit。Idowantyoutotry,Basil。IfIcouldoncefeelthatyouhadfairlyseenwhatyoucoulddoinliterature,Ishoulddiehappy。"
"Notimmediatelyafter,Ihope,"hesuggested,takingthesecondcupofcoffeeshehadbeenpouringoutforhim。"AndBoston?"
"Weneedn'tmakeacompletebreak。Wecankeepthisplaceforthepresent,anyway;wecouldletitforthewinter,andcomebackinthesummernextyear。ItwouldbechangeenoughfromNewYork。"
"FulkersonandIhadn'tgotasfarastotalkofavacation。"
"Nomatter。ThechildrenandIcouldcome。Andifyoudidn'tlikeNewYork,ortheenterprisefailed,youcouldgetintosomethinginBostonagain;andwehaveenoughtoliveontillyoudid。Yes,Basil,I'mgoing。"
"Icanseebythewayyourchintremblesthatnothingcouldstopyou。
YoumaygotoNewYorkifyouwish,Isabel,butIshallstayhere。"
"Beserious,Basil。I'minearnest。"
"Serious?IfIwereanymoreseriousIshouldshedtears。Come,mydear,Iknowwhatyoumean,andifIhadmyheartsetonthisthing——
Fulkersonalwayscallsit'thisthing'Iwouldcheerfullyacceptanysacrificeyoucouldmaketoit。ButI'drathernotofferyouuponashrineIdon'tfeelanyparticularfaithin。I'mverycomfortablewhereIam;thatis,Iknowjustwherethepinchcomes,andifitcomesharder,why,I'vegotusedtobearingthatkindofpinch。I'mtoooldtochangepinches。"
"Now,thatdoesdecideme。"
"Itdecidesme,too。"
"Iwilltakealltheresponsibility,Basil,"shepleaded。
"Ohyes;butyou'llhanditbacktomeassoonasyou'vecarriedyourpointwithit。There'snothingmeanaboutyou,Isabel,whereresponsibilityisconcerned。No;ifIdothisthing——Fulkersonagain?
Ican'tgetawayfrom'thisthing';it'sominous——ImustdoitbecauseI
wanttodoit,andnotbecauseyouwishthatyouwantedmetodoit。
Iunderstandyourposition,Isabel,andthatyou'rereallyactingfromagenerousimpulse,butthere'snothingsoprecariousatourtimeoflifeasagenerousimpulse。Whenwewereyoungerwecouldstandit;wecouldgivewaytoitandtaketheconsequences。Butnowwecan'tbearit。Wemustactfromcoldreasonevenintheardorofself-sacrifice。"
"Oh,asifyoudidthat!"hiswiferetorted。
"Isthatanycausewhyyoushouldn't?"Shecouldnotsaythatitwas,andhewentontriumphantly:
"No,Iwon'ttakeyouawayfromtheonlysafeplaceontheplanetandplungeyouintothemostperilous,andthenhaveyousayinyourrevulsionoffeelingthatyouwereallagainstitfromthefirst,andyougavewaybecauseyousawIhadmyheartsetonit。"Hesupposedhewastreatingthematterhumorously,butinthissortofbanterbetweenhusbandandwifethereisalwaysmuchmorethanthejoking。Marchhadseensomeprettyfeminineinconsistenciesandtrepidationswhichoncecharmedhiminhiswifehardeningintotraitsofmiddle-agewhichwereverylikethoseoflessinterestingolderwomen。Thesightmovedhimwithakindofpathos,buthefelttheresulthinderingandvexatious。
Shenowretortedthatifhedidnotchoosetotakeheratherwordbeneednot,butthatwhateverhedidsheshouldhavenothingtoreproachherselfwith;and,atleast,hecouldnotsaythatshehadtrappedhimintoanything。
"Whatdoyoumeanbytrapping?"hedemanded。
"Idon'tknowwhatyoucallit,"sheanswered;"butwhenyougetmetocommitmyselftoathingbyleavingoutthemostessentialpoint,Icallittrapping。"
"Iwonderyoustopattrapping,ifyouthinkIgotyoutofavorFulkerson'sschemeandthensprungNewYorkonyou。Idon'tsupposeyoudo,though。ButIguesswewon'ttalkaboutitanymore。"
Hewentoutforalongwalk,andshewenttoherroom。Theylunchedsilentlytogetherinthepresenceoftheirchildren,whoknewthattheyhadbeenquarrelling,butwereeasilyindifferenttothefact,aschildrengettobeinsuchcases;naturedefendstheiryouth,andtheunhappinesswhichtheybeholddoesnotinfectthem。Intheevening,aftertheboyandgirlhadgonetobed,thefatherandmotherresumedtheirtalk。Hewouldhavelikedtotakeitupatthepointfromwhichitwanderedintohostilities,forhefeltitlamentablethatamatterwhichsoseriouslyconcernedthemshouldbeconfusedinthefumesofsenselessanger;andhewaswillingtomakeatacitacknowledgmentofhisownerrorbyrecurringtothequestion,butshewouldnotbecontentwiththis,andhehadtoconcedeexplicitlytoherweaknessthatshereallymeantitwhenshehadaskedhimtoacceptFulkerson'soffer。Hesaidheknewthat;andhebegansoberlytotalkovertheirprospectsintheeventoftheirgoingtoNewYork。
"Oh,Iseeyouaregoing!"shetwitted。
"I'mgoingtostay,"heanswered,"andletthemturnmeoutofmyagencyhere,"andinthisbitternesstheirtalkended。
V。
HiswifemadenoattempttorenewtheirtalkbeforeMarchwenttohisbusinessinthemorning,andtheypartedindryoffence。Theirexperiencewasthatthesethingsalwayscamerightofthemselvesatlast,andtheyusuallyletthem。Heknewthatshehadreallytriedtoconsenttoathingthatwasrepugnanttoher,andinhishearthegavehermorecreditfortheeffortthanhehadallowedheropenly。Sheknewthatshehadmadeitwiththereservationheaccusedherof,andthathehadarighttofeelsoreatwhatshecouldnothelp。Buthelefthertobroodoverhisingratitude,andshesufferedhimtogoheavyandunfriendedtomeetthechancesoftheday。HesaidtohimselfthatifshehadassentedcordiallytotheconditionsofFulkerson'soffer,hewouldhavehadthecouragetotakealltheotherriskshimself,andwouldhavehadthesatisfactionofresigninghisplace。Asitwas,hemustwaittillhewasremoved;andhefiguredwithbitterpleasurethepainshewouldfeelwhenhecamehomesomedayandtoldherhehadbeensupplanted,afteritwastoolatetoclosewithFulkerson。
Hefoundaletteronhisdeskfromthesecretary,"Dictated,"intypewriting,whichbrieflyinformedhimthatMr。Hubbell,theInspectorofAgencies,wouldbeinBostononWednesday,andwouldcallathisofficeduringtheforenoon。Theletterwasnotdifferentintonefrommanythathehadformerlyreceived;butthevisitannouncedwasoutoftheusualorder,andMarchbelievedhereadhisfateinit。Duringtheeighteenyearsofhisconnectionwithit——firstasasubordinateintheBostonoffice,andfinallyasitsgeneralagentthere——hehadseenagoodmanychangesintheReciprocity;presidents,vice-presidents,actuaries,andgeneralagentshadcomeandgone,buttherehadalwaysseemedtobearecognitionofhisefficiency,oratleastsufficiency,andtherehadneverbeenanymanneroftrouble,noquestionofaccounts,noapparentdissatisfactionwithhismanagement,untillatterly,whentherehadbeguntocomefromheadquarterssomesuggestionsofenterpriseincertainways,whichgavehimhisfirstsuspicionsofhisclerkWatkins'swillingnesstosucceedhim;theyembodiedsomeofWatkins'sideas。ThethingsproposedseemedtoMarchundignified,andevenvulgar;hehadneverthoughthimselfwantinginenergy,thoughprobablyhehadleftthebusinesstotakeitsowncourseintheoldlinesmorethanherealized。Thingshadalwaysgonesosmoothlythathehadsometimesfanciedapeculiarregardforhiminthemanagement,whichhehadtheweaknesstoattributetoanappreciationofwhatheoccasionallydidinliterature,thoughinsanermomentshefelthowimpossiblethiswas。BeyondareferencefromMr。
HubbelltosomepieceofMarch'swhichhadhappenedtomeethiseye,nooneinthemanagementevergaveasignofconsciousnessthattheirservicewasadornedbyanobscureliteraryman;andMr。HubbellhimselfhadtheeffectofregardingtheexcursionsofMarch'spenasasortofjoke,andofwinkingatthem;ashemighthavewinkedifonceinawayhehadfoundhimalittlethegayerfordining。
Marchworethroughthedaygloomily,buthehaditonhisconsciencenottoshowanyresentmenttowardWatkins,whomhesuspectedofwishingtosupplanthim,andevenofworkingtodoso。Throughthisself-denialhereachedabettermindconcerninghiswife。Hedeterminednottomakehersufferneedlessly,iftheworstcametotheworst;shewouldsufferenough,atthebest,andtilltheworstcamehewouldspareher,andnotsayanythingabouttheletterhehadgot。
Butwhentheymet,herfirstglancedivinedthatsomethinghadhappened,andherfirstquestionfrustratedhisgenerousintention。Hehadtotellherabouttheletter。Shewouldnotallowthatithadanysignificance,butshewishedhimtomakeanendofhisanxietiesandforestallwhateveritmightportendbyresigninghisplaceatonce。ShesaidshewasquitereadytogotoNewYork;shehadbeenthinkingitallover,andnowshereallywantedtogo。Heanswered,soberly,thathehadthoughtitover,too;andhedidnotwishtoleaveBoston,wherehehadlivedsolong,ortryanewwayoflifeifhecouldhelpit。Heinsistedthathewasquiteselfishinthis;intheirconcessionstheirquarrelvanished;theyagreedthatwhateverhappenedwouldbeforthebest;andthenextdaybewenttohisofficefortifiedforanyevent。
Hisdestiny,iftragical,presenteditselfwithanaspectwhichhemighthavefoundcomicifithadbeenanother'sdestiny。Mr。HubbellbroughtMarch'sremoval,softenedintheguiseofapromotion。ThemanagementatNewYork,itappeared,hadacteduponasuggestionofMr。Hubbell's,andnowauthorizedhimtoofferMarchtheeditorshipofthemonthlypaperpublishedintheinterestofthecompany;hisofficewouldincludetheauthorshipofcircularsandleafletsinbehalfoflife-insurance,andwouldgiveplaytotheliterarytalentwhichMr。Hubbellhadbroughttotheattentionofthemanagement;hissalarywouldbenearlyasmuchasatpresent,buttheworkwouldnottakehiswholetime,andinaplacelikeNewYorkhecouldgetagreatdealofoutsidewriting,whichtheywouldnotobjecttohisdoing。
Mr。HubbellseemedsosureofhisacceptanceofaplaceineverywaycongenialtoamanofliterarytastesthatMarchwasafterwardsorryhedismissedthepropositionwithobviousirony,andhadneedlesslyhurtHubbell'sfeelings;butMrs。Marchhadnosuchregrets。Shewasonlyafraidthathehadnotmadehisrejectioncontemptuousenough。
"Andnow,"shesaid,"telegraphMr。Fulkerson,andwewillgoatonce。"
"IsupposeIcouldstillgetWatkins'sformerplace,"Marchsuggested。
"Never!"sheretorted。"Telegraphinstantly!"
TheywereonlyafraidnowthatFulkersonmighthavechangedhismind,andtheyhadawretcheddayinwhichtheyheardnothingfromhim。ItendedwithhisansweringMarch'stelegraminperson。Theyweresogladofhiscoming,andsotouchedbyhissatisfactionwithhisbargain,thattheylaidallthefactsofthecasebeforehim。HeenteredfullyintoMarch'ssenseofthejokelatentinMr。Hubbell'sproposition,andhetriedtomakeMrs。Marchbelievethathesharedherresentmentoftheindignityofferedherhusband。
Marchmadeashowofwillingnesstoreleasehiminviewofthechangedsituation,sayingthatheheldhimtonothing。Fulkersonlaughed,andaskedhimhowsoonhethoughthecouldcomeontoNewYork。HerefusedtoreopenthequestionofMarch'sfitnesswithhim;hesaidthey,hadgoneintothatthoroughly,butherecurredtoitwithMrs。March,andconfirmedherbeliefinhisgoodsenseonallpoints。Shehadbeenfromthefirstmomentdefiantlyconfidentofherhusband'sability,buttillshehadtalkedthematteroverwithFulkersonshewassecretlynotsureofit;or,atleast,shewasnotsurethatMarchwasnotrightindistrustinghimself。Whensheclearlyunderstood,now,whatFulkersonintended,shehadnolongeradoubt。Heexplainedhowtheenterprisedifferedfromothers,andhowheneededforitsdirectionamanwhocombinedgeneralbusinessexperienceandbusinessideaswithaloveforthethingandanaturalaptnessforit。Hedidnotwantayoungman,andyethewantedyouth——itsfreshness,itszest——suchasMarchwouldfeelinathinghecouldputhiswholeheartinto。Hewouldnotruninruts,likeanoldfellowwhohadgothackneyed;hewouldnothaveanyhobbies;
hewouldnothaveanyfriendsoranyenemies。Besides,hewouldhavetomeetpeople,andMarchwasamanthatpeopletookto;sheknewthatherself;hehadakindofcharm。Theeditorialmanagementwasgoingtobekeptinthebackground,asfarasthepublicwasconcerned;thepublicwastosupposethatthethingranitself。Fulkersondidnotcareforagreatliteraryreputationinhiseditor——heimpliedthatMarchhadaveryprettylittleone。Atthesametimetherelationsbetweenthecontributorsandthemanagementweretobemuchmore,intimatethanusual。Fulkersonfelthispersonaldisqualificationforworkingthethingsocially,andhecounteduponMr。Marchforthat;thatwastosay,hecounteduponMrs。March。
Sheprotestedhemustnotcountuponher;butitbynomeansdisabledFulkerson'sjudgmentinherviewthatMarchreallyseemedmorethananythingelseafancyofhis。Hehadbeenafancyofhers;andthesortofaffectionaterespectwithwhichFulkersonspokeofhimlaidforeversomedoubtshehadofthefinenessofFulkerson'smannersandreconciledhertothegraphicslanginessofhisspeech。
Theaffairwasnowirretrievable,butshegaveherapprovaltoitassuperblyasifitweresubmittedinitsinception。Only,Mr。FulkersonmustnotsupposesheshouldeverlikeNewYork。Shewouldnotdeceivehimonthatpoint。Shenevershouldlikeit。Shedidnotconceal,either,thatshedidnotliketakingthechildrenoutoftheFridayafternoonclass;andshedidnotbelievethatTomwouldeverbereconciledtogoingtoColumbia。ShetookcouragefromFulkerson'ssuggestionthatitwaspossibleforTomtocometoHarvardevenfromNewYork;andsheheapedhimwithquestionsconcerningthedomiciliationofthefamilyinthatcity。Hetriedtoknowsomethingaboutthematter,andhesucceededinseeminginterestedinpointsnecessarilyindifferenttohim。
VI。
Intheuprootingandtransplantingoftheirhomethatfollowed,Mrs。
Marchoftentrembledbeforedistantproblemsandpossiblecontingencies,butshewasnevertroubledbypresentdifficulties。Shekeptupwithtirelessenergy;andinthemomentsofdejectionandmisgivingwhichharassedherhusbandsheremaineddauntless,andputheartintohimwhenhehadlostitaltogether。
Shearrangedtoleavethechildreninthehousewiththeservants,whileshewentonwithMarchtolookupadwellingofsomesortinNewYork。
Itmadehimsicktothinkofit;and,whenitcametothepoint,hewouldratherhavegivenupthewholeenterprise。Shehadtonervehimtoit,torepresentmorethanoncethatnowtheyhadnochoicebuttomakethisexperiment。Everydetailofpartingwasanguishtohim。Hegotconsolationoutofthenotionoflettingthehousefurnishedforthewinter;thatimpliedtheirreturntoit,butitcosthimpangsofthekeenestmiserytoadvertiseit;and,whenatenantwasactuallyfound,itwasallhecoulddotogivehimthelease。Hetriedhiswife'sloveandpatienceasamanmusttowhomthefutureiseasyinthemassbutterribleasittranslatesitselfpiecemealintothepresent。Heexperiencedremorseinthepresenceofinanimatethingshewasgoingtoleaveasiftheyhadsensiblyreproachedhim,andananticipativehomesicknessthatseemedtostophisheart。Againandagainhiswifehadtomakehimreflectthathisdepressionwasnotprophetic。
Sheconvincedhimofwhathealreadyknew,andpersuadedhimagainsthisknowledgethathecouldbekeepinganeyeoutforsomethingtotakeholdofinBostoniftheycouldnotstandNewYork。Sheendedbytellinghimthatitwastoobadtomakehercomforthiminatrialthatwasreallysomuchmoreatrialtoher。ShehadtosupporthiminalastaccessofdespairontheirwaytotheAlbanydepotthemorningtheystartedtoNewYork;butwhenthefinaldetailshadbeendealtwith,theticketsbought,thetrunkschecked,andthehandbagshungupintheircar,andthefuturehadmasseditselfagainatasafedistanceandwassevenhoursandtwohundredmilesaway,hisspiritsbegantoriseandherstosink。Hewouldhavebeenwillingtocelebratethetaste,thedomesticrefinement,oftheladies'waiting-roominthedepot,wheretheyhadspentaquarterofanhourbeforethetrainstarted。Hesaidhedidnotbelievetherewasanotherstationintheworldwheremahoganyrocking-chairswereprovided;
thatthedull-redwarmthofthewallswasascozyasaneveninglamp,andthathealwayshopedtoseeafirekindledonthatvasthearthandunderthataestheticmantel,buthesupposednowhenevershould。Hesaiditwasallverydifferentfromthattunnel,theoldAlbanydepot,wheretheyhadwaitedthemorningtheywenttoNewYorkwhentheywerestartingontheirweddingjourney。
"Themorning,Basil!"criedhiswife。"Wewentatnight;andweweregoingtotaketheboat,butitstormedso!"Shegavehimaglanceofsuchreproachthathecouldnotansweranything,andnowsheaskedhimwhetherhesupposedtheircookandsecondgirlwouldbecontentedwithoneofthosedarkholeswheretheyputgirlstosleepinNewYorkflats,andwhatsheshoulddoifMargaret,especially,lefther。HeventuredtosuggestthatMargaretwouldprobablylikethecity;but,ifsheleft,therewereplentyofothergirlstobehadinNewYork。Sherepliedthattherewerenoneshecouldtrust,andthatsheknewMargaretwouldnotstay。Heaskedherwhyshetookher,then——whyshedidnotgiveherupatonce;andsheansweredthatitwouldbeinhumantogiveherupjustintheedgeofthewinter。Shehadpromisedtokeepher;andMargaretwaspleasedwiththenotionofgoingtoNewYork,whereshehadacousin。
"Thenperhapsshe'llbepleasedwiththenotionofstaying,"hesaid。
"Oh,muchyouknowaboutit!"sheretorted;and,inviewofthehypotheticaldifficultyandhiswantofsympathy,shefellintoagloom,fromwhichsherousedherselfatlastbydeclaringthat,iftherewasnothingelseintheflattheytook,thereshouldbealightkitchenandabright,sunnybedroomforMargaret。Heexpressedthebeliefthattheycouldeasilyfindsuchaflatasthat,andshedenouncedhisfataloptimism,whichbuoyedhimupintheabsenceofanundertakingandlethimdropintothedepthsofdespairinitspresence。
Heownedthisdefectoftemperament,buthesaidthatitcompensatedtheoppositeinhercharacter。"Isupposethat'soneofthechiefusesofmarriage;peoplesupplementoneanother,andformaprettyfairsortofhumanbeingtogether。Theonlydrawbacktothetheoryisthatunmarriedpeopleseemeachascompleteandwholeasamarriedpair。"
Sherefusedtobeamused;sheturnedherfacetothewindowandputherhandkerchiefupunderherveil。
Itwasnottillthedining-carwasattachedtotheirtrainthattheywerebothabletoescapeforanhourintothecare-freemoodoftheirearliertravels,whentheyweresoeasilytakenoutofthemselves。Thetimehadbeenwhentheycouldhavefoundenoughintheconjecturalfortunesandcharactersoftheirfellow-passengerstooccupythem。Thisphaseoftheiryouthhadlastedlong,andtheworldwasstillfullofnoveltyandinterestforthem;butitrequiredallthecharmofthedining-carnowtolaytheanxietiesthatbesetthem。Itwassopotentforthemoment,however,thattheycouldtakeanobjectiveviewattheirsittingcozilydowntheretogether,asiftheyhadonlythemselvesintheworld。Theywonderedwhatthechildrenweredoing,thechildrenwhopossessedthemsointenselywhenpresent,andnow,byafantasticoperationofabsence,seemedalmostnon-existents。Theytriedtobehomesickforthem,butfailed;theyrecognizedwithcomfortableself-abhorrencethatthiswasterrible,butownedafascinationinbeingalone;atthesametime,theycouldnotimaginehowpeoplefeltwhoneverhadanychildren。Theycontrastedtheluxuryofdiningthatway,witheveryadvantageexceptabandofmusic,andtheoldwayofrushingouttosnatchafearfuljoyatthelunch-countersoftheWorcesierandSpringfieldandNewHavenstations。TheyhadnotgoneoftentoNewYorksincetheirweddingjourney,buttheyhadgoneoftenenoughtohavenotedthechangefromthelunch-countertothelunch-basketbroughtinthetrain,fromwhichyoucouldsubsistwithmoreeaseanddignity,butseemeddestinedtoasuperabundanceofpickles,whateveryouordered。
Theythoughtwellofthemselvesnowthattheycouldbebothcriticalandtolerantofflavorsnotverysharplydistinguishedfromoneanotherintheirdinner,andtheylingeredovertheircoffeeandwatchedtheautumnlandscapethroughthewindows。
"Notquitesoloudapatternofcalicothisyear,"hesaid,withpatronizingforbearancetowardthepaintedwoodlandswhirlingby。
"Doyouseehowtheforegroundnextthetrainrushesfromusandthebackgroundkeepsaheadofus,whilethemiddledistanceseemsstationary?
Idon'tthinkIevernoticedthateffectbefore。Thereoughttobesomethingliteraryinit:retreatingpastandadvancingfutureanddeceitfullypermanentpresent——somethinglikethat?"
Hiswifebrushedsomecrumbsfromherlapbeforerising。"Yes。Youmustn'twasteanyoftheseideasnow。"
"Ohno;itwouldbemoneyoutofFulkerson'spocket。"
VII。
Theywenttoaquiethotelfardown-town,andtookasmallapartmentwhichtheythoughttheycouldeasilyaffordforthedayortwotheyneedspendinlookingupafurnishedflat。TheywereusedtostayingatthishotelwhentheycameonforalittleoutinginNewYork,aftersomerigidwinterinBoston,atthetimeofthespringexhibitions。Theywererememberedtherefromyeartoyear;thecoloredcall-boys,whoneverseemedtogetanyolder,smileduponthem,andtheclerkcalledMarchbynameevenbeforeheregistered。HeaskedifMrs。Marchwerewithhim,andsaidthenhesupposedtheywouldwanttheirusualquarters;andinamomenttheyweredomesticatedinafarinteriorthatseemedtohavebeenwaitingfortheminaclean,quiet,patientdisoccupationeversincetheyleftittwoyearsbefore。Thelittleparlor,withitsgiltpaperandebonizedfurniture,wasthelightestoftherooms,butitwasnotverylightatnoondaywithoutthegas,whichthebell-boynowflaredupforthem。Theuproarofthecitycametoitinasoothingmurmur,andtheytookpossessionofitspeaceandcomfortwithopencelebration。Afterall,theyagreed,therewasnoplaceintheworldsodelightfulasahotelapartmentlikethat;theboastedcharmsofhomewerenothingtoit;
andthenthemagicofitsbeingalwaysthere,readyforanyone,everyone,justasifitwereforsomeonealone:itwasliketheexperienceofanArabianNightsherocometrueforalltherace。
"Oh,whycan'twealwaysstayhere,justwetwo!"Mrs。Marchsighedtoherhusband,ashecameoutofhisroomrubbinghisfaceredwiththetowel,whileshestudiedanewarrangementofherbonnetandhandbagonthemantel。
"Andignorethepast?I'mwilling。I'venodoubtthatthechildrencouldgetonperfectlywellwithoutus,andcouldfindsomelotintheschemeofProvidencethatwouldreallybejustaswellforthem。"
"Yes;orcouldcontrivesomehownevertohaveexisted。Ishouldinsistuponthat。Iftheyare,don'tyouseethatwecouldn'twishthemnottobe?"
"Ohyes;Iseeyourpoint;it'ssimplyincontrovertible。"
Shelaughedandsaid:"Well,atanyrate,ifwecan'tfindaflattosuituswecanallcrowdintothesethreeroomssomehow,forthewinter,andthenbrowseaboutformeals。Bytheweekwecouldgetthemmuchcheaper;
andwecouldsaveontheeating,astheydoinEurope。Oronsomethingelse。"
"Somethingelse,probably,"saidMarch。"Butwewon'ttakethisapartmenttilltheidealfurnishedflatwinksoutaltogether。Weshallnothaveanytrouble。WecaneasilyfindsomeonewhoisgoingSouthforthewinterandwillbegladtogiveuptheirflat'totherightparty'atanominalrent。That'smynotion。That'swhattheEvansesdidonewinterwhentheycameonhereinFebruary。Allbutthenominalityoftherent。"
"Yes,andwecouldpayaverygoodrentandstillsavesomethingonlettingourhouse。YoucansettleyourselvesinahundreddifferentwaysinNewYork,thatisonemeritoftheplace。Butifeverythingelsefails,wecancomebacktothis。Iwantyoutotaketherefusalofit,Basil。Andwe'llcommencelookingthisveryeveningassoonaswe'vehaddinner。IcutalotofthingsoutoftheHeraldaswecameon。
Seehere!"
Shetookalongstripofpaperoutofherhand-bagwithminuteadvertisementspinnedtransverselyuponit,andformingtheeffectofsomeglitteringnondescriptvertebrate。
"Lookssomethinglikethesea-serpent,"saidMarch,dryinghishandsonthetowel,whileheglancedupanddownthelist。"Butwesha'n'thaveanytrouble。I'venodoubttherearehalfadozenthingstherethatwilldo。Youhaven'tgoneup-town?Becausewemustbenearthe'EveryOtherWeek'office。"
"No;butIwishMr。Fulkersonhadn'tcalleditthat!Italwaysmakesonethinkof'jamyesterdayandjamtomorrow,butneverjamto-day,'in'ThroughtheLooking-Glass。'They'reallinthisregion。"
Theywerestillattheirtable,besidealowwindow,wheresomesortofnever-bloomingshrubsymmetricallybalanceditselfinalargepot,withaleaftotherightandaleaftotheleftandaspearupthemiddle,whenFulkersoncamesteppingsquare-footedlyoverthethickdining-roomcarpet。Hewaggedintheairagayhandofsalutationatsightofthem,andofrepressionwhentheyofferedtorisetomeethim;then,withanapparentsimultaneityofactionhegaveahandtoeach,pulledupachairfromthenexttable,puthishatandstickonthefloorbesideit,andseatedhimself。
"Well,you'veburnedyourshipsbehindyou,sureenough,"hesaid,beaminghissatisfactionuponthemfromeyesandteeth。
"Theshipsareburned,"saidMarch,"thoughI'mnotsurewealonedidit。Buthereweare,lookingforshelter,andalittleanxiousaboutthedispositionofthenatives。"
"Oh,they'reanawfulpeaceablelot,"saidFulkerson。"I'vebeenroundamongthecaciquesalittle,andIthinkI'vegottwoorthreeplacesthatwilljustsuityou,Mrs。March。Howdidyouleavethechildren?"
"Oh,howkindofyou!Verywell,andveryproudtobeleftinchargeofthesmokingwrecks。"
Fulkersonnaturallypaidnoattentiontowhatshesaid,beingbutsecondarilyinterestedinthechildrenatthebest。"Herearesomethingsrightinthisneighborhood,withingunshotoftheoffice,andifyouwantyoucangoandlookatthemto-night;theagentsgavemehouseswherethepeoplewouldbein。"
"Wewillgoandlookattheminstantly,"saidMrs。March。"Or,assoonasyou'vehadcoffeewithus。"
"Neverdo,"Fulkersonreplied。Hegathereduphishatandstick。"JustrushedintosayHello,andgottorunrightawayagain。Itellyou,March,thingsarehumming。I'mafterthosefellowswithasharpstickallthewhiletokeepthemfromloafingonmyhouse,andatthesametimeI'mjustbubblingoverwithideasabout'TheLoneHand——wishwecouldcallitthat!——thatIwanttotalkupwithyou。"
"Well,cometobreakfast,"saidMrs。March,cordially。
"No;theideaswillkeeptillyou'vesecuredyourlodgeinthisvastwilderness。Good-bye。"
"You'reasniceasyoucanbe,Mr。Fulkerson,"shesaid,"tokeepusinmindwhenyouhavesomuchtooccupyyou。"
"Iwouldn'thaveanythingtooccupymeifIhadn'tkeptyouinmind,Mrs。
March,"saidFulkerson,goingoffuponasgoodaspeechashecouldapparentlyhopetomake。
"Why,Basil,"saidMrs。March,whenhewasgone,"he'scharming!。
Butnowwemustn'tloseaninstant。Let'sseewheretheplacesare。"
Sheranoverthehalf-dozenagents'permits。"Capital-first-rate-theverything-everyone。Well,Iconsiderourselvessettled!Wecangobacktothechildrento-morrowifwelike,thoughIratherthinkIshouldliketostayoveranotherdayandgetalittlerestedforthefinalpullingupthat'sgottocome。Butthissimplifieseverythingenormously,andMr。Fulkersonisasthoughtfulandassweetashecanbe。