"ThankstoCousinIk.WhenIgetachancetopaintsuchapictureasthisIdo,indeed,wishtomakethemostofit."
"ButhowlongmustMr.Eltingewaitforit?"
"IthinkwecansendittohimasaChristmaspresent."
"We?You,rather,willsendit."
"No,WE;orrather,ingivingmethesittingsyougiveMr.Eltingeallthatmakesthepicturevaluabletohim."
Ida'scheeksbegantoburn,fortheartist'swordssuggestedapowerfultemptationthat;inaccordancewithherimpetuousnature,cameintheformofanimpulseratherthananinsidiousandlurkingthought.Theimpulsewastoacceptoftheopportunitieshepresseduponher,and,ifpossible,winhimawayfromJennieBurton.Atfirstitseemedameananddishonorablethingtodo,andherfacegrewcrimsonwithshameattheverythought.VanBerglookedatherwithsurprise.ConscioushimselfthatwhilehemeantthatMr.Eltingeshouldprofitrichlyfromhervisits,itwasnotbyanymeansforthesakeoftheoldgentlemanonlythathehadbeenrequestinghertocomesooften,hisowncolorbegantorise.
"Shebeginstoseethatmymotivesarealittlemixed,andthatiswhatisembarrassingher,"hethoughtashebentoverhisworktohidehisownconfusion.
"Mr.VanBerg,I'mgettingtiredofsittingstill,"Idaexclaimed.
"It'scontrarytomyrestlessdisposition.MayInotmakeanexploringtouraroundyourstudio?YouhavenoideawhataconstraintI'vebeenputtingonmyfemininecuriosity."
"Igiveyoua'carte-blanche'todoasyouplease.Haveyoumuchcuriosity?"
"I'madaughterofEve."
"Well,I'mcomingtotheconclusionthatthereisagooddealof'oldAdam'inme,"andhefeltthatasshethenappearedshecouldtempthimtoalmostanything.
Nowthatherbackwastowardshimshefeltsafer,andhermellowlaughtrilledoutasshesaid,"Wemayhavetodubthisplaceaconfessionalratherthanastudioofyoutalkinthatway."
"IfIconfessedallmysinsagainstyou,MissMayhew,itwould,indeed,beaconfessional."Hespokesoearnestlythatshegavehimaquickglanceofsurprise.
"Thereisnoneed,"shesaid,hesitatingly,"sinceIhavegivenyoufullabsolution,"andshesuddenlybecameinterestedinsomethinginthefarthestcorneroftheapartment.Afteramomentsheadded,"IfIamtocomehereImustsaytoyouagain,asIdidonthedayIsodisgustedyoubymybehaviorinthestage——youmustletby-gonesbeby-gones."
Itwasnowtheartist'sturntolaugh,andhismerrimentwassoheartyandprolongedthatsheturnedavexedandcrimsonfacetowardshimandsaid,"Ithinkit'stoobadinyoutolaughatmeso."
"MissMayhew,IassureyouI'mnotlaughingatyouatall.Butyourwordssuggestagoodomen.Didn'tthatstageteachyouthatfatemeansustobegoodfriendsinspiteofallyoucando?BeforewemetinthatcaroffortuneIhadbeentryingforaweekormoretomakeyouracquaintance,andmadeamartyrofmyselfintheeffort.
Iplayedtheagreeabletonearlyeveryladyinthehotel,andperspiredonpicnicsandboatingpartiesthatIdidnotenjoy.I
playedcroquetandothergamestillIwashalfboredtodeath,andallintheefforttoproducesuchagenialatmosphereofenjoymentandgood-feelingthatyouwouldthawalittletowardsme;butyouwouldn'tspeaktome,norevenlookatme.AtlastIgaveupindespairandwentoffamongthehillswithmysketch-book,andwhenreturningthatblessedoldstageovertookme.Wasn'tIpleasedwhenIfoundyouwereafellow-passenger!andletmenowexpressmythanksthatyoulookedsoresolutelyawayfromme,foritgavemeachancetocontrastaprofileinwhichIcoulddetectnofaultwiththebroad,sultryvisageofthestoutwomanoppositeme.Andthen,thankheaven,thehorsesranaway.Whoeverheardofstagehorsesrunningawaybefore?Itwasasmileoffortune——amiracle.
Submittodestiny,MissMayhew,forit'sdecreedthatweshouldbegoodfriends,"andhelaughedagaininhugeenjoymentofthewholescene.
InspiteofherselfIdafoundhishumorcontagiousandirresistible,andshelaughedalsotillthetearscameintohereyes.
"Mr.VanBerg,"sheexclaimed,"Ioughttobeindignant,orIoughttobeashamedtolookyouintheface.Idon'tknowwhatIoughttodo,onlyI'msureitisn'ttheproperthingatallformetobelaughinginthisway.IthinkI'llgohomeatonce,forI'monlywastingyourtime.
Hisanswerwasnotveryrelevant,forhesaidimpetuously,"Oh,MissIda,Iwouldgivefiveyearsofmylifetobeabletopaintyourportraitasyounowappear,forthepicturewouldcureoldmelancholyhimselfandfillaprison-cellwithlight."
"Iwon'tcomehereanymoreifyoulaughatmeso,"shesaid,puttingonherhat.
"See,"hesaid,"I'masgraveasajudge.IwillneverlaughATyou,butIhopetolaughWITHyoumanyatime,fortotellyouthetruththeexperiencehasremindedmeofthe'inextinguishablelaughteroftheGods.'Pleasedon'tgoyet."
"IfImustcomesooftenmyvisitsmustbebrief."
"Thenyouwillcome?"
"Ihaven'tpromisedanythingexceptforto-morrow.Good-morning."
"Letmewalkhomewithyou."
"No,positively.Youhavewastedtoomuchtimealready."
"Youwillatleastshakehandsintokenofpeaceandamitybeforewepart?"
"Oh,certainly,ifyouthinkitworththewhilewhenwearetomeetsosoonagain.Oh!youhurtme.Youdidthatoncebefore."
Hisfacesuddenlybecamegraveandeventenderinitsexpression,ashesaid,inalow,deepvoice,"Morethanonce,MissIda.Don'tthinkIforgetorforgivemyselfbecauseyoutreatmesogenerously."
Shewouldnotlookupandmeethiseyes,butreplied,intonesthattrembledwithrepressedfeeling,"Icouldforgiveanythingafteryourmannertowardsfatherthismorning.NeverthinkIcanforgetsuchfavors,"andthenshesnatchedawayherhandandwentswiftlyout.Hertearsfellfastasshesoughtherhomebyquietstreetswithbowedheadandvaildrawntightlydown,andshemurmured:
"Icannotgivehimup——Icannot,indeed,Icannot.IfIlosehimitmustbebecausethereisnohelpforit."
Thenconscienceuttereditslow,faintprotestandhertearsfellfasterstill.
Whenreachingherroomshethrewherselfonthesofaandsobbed,"Woulditbesovery,verywrongtowinhimifIcould?shecan'tlovehimasmuchasIdo.Why,Iwasreadytodieeventowinhisrespect,andnowinthesevisitshegivesmeachancetowinhislove.IshepledgedtoMissBurtonyet?Ifheis,Idonotknowit.Hedoesseemtocareforme——thereisoftensomethinginhisfaceandtonethatwhispershope.IfhelovesherasIlovehimhecouldnotbehereinNewYorkallthisweek.Butit'sherlovethattroublesme——I'veseenitinhereyeswhenhewasnotobserving,andIfearshejustworshipshim.Alas,hegaveherreason.Hismannerhasbeenthatofalover,andnoone——heleastofall——wouldthinkofflirtingwithJennieBurton.ButdoesheloverhersodeeplythatIcouldnotwinhimifIhadachance?WoulditbeverywickedifIdid?MustIgiveupmyhappinessforherhappiness?
IcametoNewYorktogetawayfromdangerandtemptationandhereIamrightinthemidstofit.WhatshallIdo!Oh,mySaviour,I'mhalfafraidtospeaktotheeaboutthis."
"IfIcouldonlyseeMr.Eltinge,"shemurmured,afteranhourofdistractedthoughtandindecision."Thereisnotimetowrite——indeed,Icouldnotwriteonsuchasubject,and——and——I'mafraidhe'dadvisemeagainstit.Hecan'tunderstandawoman'sfeelingsinacaselikethis,atleasthecouldnotunderstandapassionate,faultygirllikeme.I'venopatience——nofortitude.
Icoulddieformylove——Ithink,Ihope,Icouldformyfaith,——butIfeelnopowerwithinmetoendurepatientlyyearafteryear.I
wouldbelikethepoor,weakwomentheyshutupintheInquisitionandwhosufferedontotheendonlythroughremorselesscompulsion,becausethewallsweretoothickforescape,andthetormentor'shandsandtherackwereirresistible.Mysoulwouldsuccumbaswellasmybody.Thiswouldseemwild,wickedtalktoMr.Eltinge;itwouldseemweakandirrationaltoanyman.ButI'monlyIdaMayhew,andsuchismynature.I'vebeenmadeallthemoreincapableofpatientself-sacrificebyself-indulgencefrommychildhoodup.
Oh,willitbevery,verywrongtowinhimifIcan?"andthepassionatetearsandsobsthatfollowedthesewordswouldseemtoindicatethatsheunderstoodhernatureonlytoowell.
Atlastsheconcluded,inwearinessandexhaustion,"I'mtooweakanddistractedtothinkanymore.Ihardlyknowwhetherit'srightorwrong.Ihopeitisn'tverywrong.Iwon'tdecidenow.LetmatterstaketheirowncourseastheyhavedoneandImayseeclearerbyandby."
Butdeepinherheartshefeltthatthiswasaboutthesameasyieldingtothetemptation.
Shebathedhereyes,triedtothinkhowshecouldspendtheinterveninghoursbeforetheywouldmeetagain.Thenwithasenseofdismayshebegantoconsider,"Ifwearetomeetsooftenwhatarewetotalkabout?Heoncetriedtoconversewithmeandfoundmesoignoranthecouldn't.ItseemedtomeIdidn'tknowanythingthatevening,andhe'llsoongrowdisgustedwithmeagainasheseesmypoorlittlepackofknowledgeislikeatramp'sbundlethathecarriesaroundwithhim.Imustread——Imuststudyeverymoment,orIhaven'ttheremotestchanceofsuccess.Success!Oh,mercifulheaven!it'sthesameasifIweresettingaboutitalldeliberatelyandthere'snouseofdeceivingmyself.Ihopeitisn'tvery,verywrong."
Shewenttoherfather'slibrarywithflushedcheeksandhesitatingsteps,asifitwerethetreefromwhichshemightpluckthefruitofforbiddenknowledge.Thelongrowsofponderousandneglectedbooksappalledher;shetookdowntwoorthreeandtheyseemedlikeunopenedmines,deepandrocky.Shefeltinstinctivelythattherewasnottimeforhertotransmutetheiroresintogracefulandnaturalmentaladornments.
"Methuselahhimselfcouldn'treadthemall,"sheexclaimed."Bythepowers!ifhereisn'tmorebooksthanIcancarry,ononesubject.
Isupposecartloadshavebeenwrittenaboutart.I'venodoubthe'sreadthemall,butInevercan;Ifearmyattempttoreadupisliketryingtogetstrongbyeatingawholeoxatonce.Oh,whydidIwastemyschool-days,andindeedallmylifeasIhave!"
andshestampedherfootinherimpatienceandirritation.
"Well,"shesighedatlast,withagrimsortofhumor;"ImustdothebestIcan.It'sthesameasifIwereonadesertisland.I
musttietogethersomesortofaraftinordertocrossthegulfthatseparatesus,forInevercanstandittostayherealone.
SinceIhavenottimetospareImayaswellcommencewiththatencyclopaedia,andlearnalittleaboutasmanythingsaspossible;
thenifheintroducesasubjectheshallatleastseethatIknowwhatheistalkingabout."Andduringtheafternoonthepoorgirlploddedthroughseverarticles,oftenrecallingherwanderingthoughtsbyimpatientlittlegestures,andbythetimeherfatherreturnedshewasconsciousofknowingaverylittleindeedaboutanumberofthings."Nomatter,"shethought,compressingherlips,"Iwon'tgiveuptillImust.It'smyonechanceforhappinessinthisworld,andI'llclingtoitwhilethereisashredofhopeleft."
Itwaswithaneagerandresolutefacethatsheconfrontedherfatherthatevening,astheysatdowntodinner.Hethoughtshewoulddescantonherexperiencesofthemorning,andhewasanxiousforachancetosayhowtrulyheappreciatedMr.VanBerg'scordialmanner,butshesurprisedhimbyaskingabruptly:
"Father,whendoweelectanotherpresident?"
Hetoldher,andthenfollowedarapidfireofquestionsaboutthegeneralandstategovernment,andthenamesandcharactersofthemenwhoheldthechiefoffices.AtlastMr.Mayhewlaiddownhisknifeandforkinhisastonishment,andaskedsententiously:
"Howlongisitsinceyoudecidedtogointopolitics?"
Ida'slaughwasveryreassuring,andshesaid,"Poorfather!I
don'twonderyouthinkI'velostmywits,nowthatI'mtryingtousethefewIhave.Don'tyousee?Idon'tknowanythingthat'sworthknowing.Iwastedmytimeatschool,formyheadwasfullofbeaux,dress,andnonsense.Besides,Idon'tthinkmyteacherstookmuchpainstomakemeunderstandanything.Atanyrate,mydancing-master,andperhapsmymusic-teacher——alittlebit——aretheonlyonesthathaveanyreasontobeproudoftheresult.NowIwantyoutobrushupyourideasabouteverything,soyoucananswertheendlessquestionsIamgoingtoaskyou."
"Whyblessyou,child,youtakeawaymybreath.Romewasn'tbuiltinaday."
"ThewaytheybuiltRomewillneveranswerforme.ImustgrowlikeoneofourWesterncitiesthathasamayorandopera-housealmostbeforetheIndiansandwolvesaredrivenoutoftown.SpeakingofRomeremindsmehowlittleIknowofthatcity,andit'saburningshame,too,forIspentamonththere."
"Well,"saidMr.Mayhew,withkindlinginterest,"supposewetakeupacourseofreadingaboutRomeforthewinter."
"Forthewinter!Thatwon'tdoatall.Can'tyoutellmesomethingofinterestaboutRomethisevening?"
"I'vealreadymentionedtheinterestingfact——thatitwasn'tbuiltinaday.Ithinkthat'sthemostimportantthingthatyouneedtoknowaboutRomeandeverythingelsethisevening.Why,Ida,youcan'tbecomewiseasanostrichmakesitssupper——byswallowingeverythingthatcomesinitsway.Youarenotabitlikeanostrich."
"Anostrichisasillybirdthatputsitsheadunderthesandandthinsitswholegreatbodyhiddenbecauseitcan'tseeitself,isn'tit,father?"
"I'veheardthatstorytoldofit,"repliedMr.Mayhew,laughing.
"Anythingbutanostrich,then.Come,I'llreadtheeveningpapertoyouonconditionyoutellmetheleadingquestionsoftheday.
Whatisjustnowtheleadingquestionoftheday?"
"Well,"saidMr.Mayhew,demurely,butwithasparkleofhumorinhiseye,"oneoftheleadingquestionsofthisdaywithmehasbeenwhetherMr.VanBergwouldnotenjoydiningwithusto-morroweveningnowthatheisherealoneinthecity?"
Idainstantlyheldthenewspaperbeforehercrimsonfaceandsaid:
"Father,yououghttobeashamedthustodivertmymindfromthepursuitofusefulknowledge."
Herfathercametohersideandsaidverykindly:"Ida,darling,youarealittlebitlikeanostrichnow."
Shesprangup,and,hidingherfaceonhisshoulder,trembledlikealeaf."Oh,father,"shewhispered,"Iwouldnothavehimknowfortheworld.Isitsoveryplain?"
"Nottohim,mychild,buttheeyesofalovelikemineareverykeen.Soyouneedn'tbeonyourguardbeforeyouroldfatherasyoumustbebeforehimandtheworld.YoushallhaveonlyrestandsympathyathomeasfarasIcangivethem.Indeed,ifyouwillletme,I'llbecomeaveryunobtrusive,butperhaps,usefulally.
Atanyrate,I'lltrynottomakeanystupid,ignorantblunders.
IhavelikeMr.VanBergfromthefirsthourofourmeeting,andIwouldthankGodfromthedepthsofmyheartifthiscouldbe."
"Dear,goodfather,howlittleIunderstoodyou.I'vebeenlivinginpovertyoveragoldmine.Butfather,I'msoignorantandMr.
VanBergknowseverything."
"Notquite,you'llfind.He'sonlyaman,Ida.Butyoucanneverwinhimthroughpoliticsorbydiscussingwithhimthequestionsoftheday.Thesearenotinyourlinenorhis."
"WhatcanIdo,father.Indeed,itdoesnotseemtomemaidenlytodoanything."
"Itwouldnotbemaidenly,Ida,tosteponehair'sbreadthbeyondthelineofscrupulous,womanlydelicacy,andbyanysuchcourseyouwouldonlydefeatandthwartyourself.Awomanmustalwaysbesought;andasarule,shelosesassheseeks.ButIstrusttoyourinstinctstoguideyouhere.Youhaveonlytobesimpleandtrue,asyouhavebeensincethehappymiraclethattransformedyou.UnlessamanisinfatuatedasI——butnomatter.Amanthatkeepshissensewelcomestruthfulness——ahighdelicatesenseofhonor——aboveallthingsinawoman,foritgiveshimasenseofsecurityandrest.BytruthfulnessIdonotmeantheindiscreetblurtingoutofthingsthatgoodtastewouldleaveunsaid,butclear-eyedintegritythathidesnoguile.Then,again,unlessamanisblindedbypassionorsomekindofinfatuationheknowsthatthechiefneedofhislifeisahomelightedandwarmedbyanunwaveringlove.Withthesehishappinessandsuccessaresecured,asfarastheycanbeinthisworld,unlessheisabruteandafool,andhasnorighttoexistatall.ButIamgrowingpreachy.
LetmesuggestsomethingsthatIhaveobservedinthisartist.Heisahigh-tonedpaganandworshipsbeauty;butwiththisoutwardperfectionhealsodemandsspiritualloveliness,forwithhimmindandhonorareintheascendant.Headmiredyouimmenselyfromthefirst,andsinceyourcharacterhasbeengrowinginharmonywithyourfacehehassoughtyoursociety.So,besimple,true,andmodest,andyouwillwinhimifthethingispossible.Youwillneverwinhimbybeinganythingelse,andyoumightloseyourownrespectandhistoo."
"I'llsufferanythingratherthanthat,father.Ithinkyouhadbetternotinvitehimto-morrowevening."
"I'llbegovernedbywhatIseeto-morrow,"hereplied,musingly.
"Bothmybusinessandmyhabitofmindhavetaughtmetoobserveandstudymen'smotivesandimpulsesveryclosely.Youcouldorderasuitabledinnerafterleavingthestudio,couldyounot?"
"Yes,father."
"Well,then,myPrincessIda,I'llbeyourgrandvizier,andI'lltreatwiththisforeignpowerwithsuchafinediplomacythatheshallappreciatealltheprivilegesheobtains.Butwewillkeepourself-respecthereafter,Ida,andthenwecanlooktheworldinthefaceandasknooddsofit."
"Yes,father,letuskeepthatatallevents.AndyetI'monlyawoman."
"Youarethewomanthathasmademehappy,andIthinkthereisanothermanwhowillwanttobemadehappyalso.Andnowwewilldeferallotherquestionsoftheday,forImustgooutforatime.
DonotthinkIundervalueyourcravingforinformation,andyoushallhaveitasfastasyoucantakecareofit.Youhavegrownpaleandthinthissummer,butIdonotexpectyoutobecomeplumpandrosyagaininaday."
"Oh,I'mrosytoooftenasitis.Whyisitthatgirlsmustblushsoridiculouslywhentheydon'twantto?That'sthequestionofthedayforme.Icouldflirtdesperatelyinoldtimes,andyetlookasdemureandcoolasifIwereaninnocent.Butnow,oh!
I'mfairlyenragedwithmyselfattimes."
"Theysayblushesarelove'strail,"saidMr.Mayhewwithalaugh,"andsinceheisaroundIsupposehemustleavehistracks.Ifyouwishforamorescientificreasonletmeaddthatphysiologyteachesusthatthebloodcomesfromtheheart.Icanassureyou,however,thattherearebutfewgentlemenwhoadmireladiesthatcannotblush,andMr.VanBergisnotoneofthem."
Idaspenttheeveningatherpianoinsteadofovertheencyclopaedia,butshesighedagainandagain.
"Simpleandtrue!IfearJennieBurtonandMr.EltingewouldsayIwasneitheriftheyknewwhatwasinmyheart.ButIcan'thelpit——Ican'tgivehimupafterwhathashappenedsinceIcametothecity,unlessImust."
Butthemusicsheselectedwassimpleandtrue.Tossingherbrilliantandfloridpiecesimpatientlyaside,sheplayedorsangonlythatwhichwasplaintive,low,andinharmonywithherthoughts.Italsoseemedtohaveapeculiarattractivenesstoatallgentlemanwholingeredsomemomentsbeneaththewindows,andeventookoneortwostepsuptowardsthedoor,andthenturnedandstrodeawayasifconsciousthathemusteitherenterordepartatonce.
ChapterXLIX.TheBlindGod.
TheMissMayhewthatcrossedtheartist'sthresholdthefollowingmorningmighthavebeentakenasamodelofgracefulself-possession,butshedisguisedamaidenwithasflutteringaheartandtremblingasoulaseverfacedoneofthesuprememomentsofdestiny.Herfather,however,provedafaithfulandintelligentally,andhismannertowardsVanBergwasafineblendingofcourtesyanddignity,suggestingamanascapableofconferringasofreceivingfavors.
HishostwouldindeedhavebeenblindandstupidifhehadtriedtopatronizeMr.Mayhewthatmorning.
Althoughunconsciousofthefact,VanBergwasforatimesubjectedtotheclosestscrutiny.Lovehaddeepifnotdarkdesignsagainsthim,andtheglanceshebentonIdamightsuggestthathewasonlytooreadytobecomeavictim.Hehadwelcomedtohisstudytwoconspiratorswhowerecommittedtotheirplotbythestrongestofmotives,andyettheyweresuchnovelconspiratorsthataword,aglance,anexpressionevenof"ennui"orindifferencewouldhavesotouchedtheirpridethattheywouldhaveabandonedtheirwilesateverycosttothemselves.Weretheytryingtoensnarehim?
Neverweresuchfilmsandgossamerthreadsusedinlikeentanglementbefore.Hecouldhavebrushedthemallawaybyonecoldsweepofhiseyes,andthemaidenwhohadnotscrupledatdeathtogainmerelyhisrespect,wouldhaveleftthestudiowithacolderglancethanhis,norwouldherwomanlystrengthhavefailedheruntilshereachedarefugewhichhiseyecouldnotpenetrate;butthen——Godpityher.Thetragediesoverwhichtheangelsweeparethebloodlesswoundsofthespirit.
ButitwouldseemthattheatmosphereofVanBerg'sstudiothatsummermorningwasnotatallconducivetotragedyofanykind,norwerethereinhisfaceormanneranyindicationsofcomedy,whichtopoorIdawouldhavebeenfarworse;foranairofcareless"bonhomie"onhispartwhenshewassodesperatelyinearnestwouldhavemadehissmilesandjestslikeheartlessmockery.
Andyet,inspiteofhismannerthepreviousday,thepoorgirlhadcometothestudiofearingfarmorethanshehoped,andburdenedalsowithatroubledconscience.Shewasalmostsureshewasnotdoingright,andyetthetemptationwastoostrongtoberesisted.
Butwhenhetookherhandingreetingthatmorning,andsaidwithasmilethatseemedtoflashoutfromthedepthsofhissoul,"Iwon'thurtyouanymoreifIcanhelpit,"allscruples,allhesitancyvanishedforatime,likefrostworkinthesun.Hismagnetismwasirresistible,andshefeltthatitwouldrequireallhertactandresolutiontokeephimbysomecareless,randomwordoract,frombrushingasidetheveilbehindwhichshrankhertrembling,andasyet,unsoughtlove.
ButVanBergwasevenararerstudythanthemaiden,andhismannertowardsbothIdaandherfathermightwellleadonetothinkthathewasinclinedtobecomethechiefconspiratorinthedesignagainsthimself.Hehadscarcelybeenconsciousoftimeorplacesincepartingthepreviousdaywiththefriendhewassobentonsecuring,andwhenatlasthesleptinthesmallhoursofthemorninghedreamtthathehadbeencaughtbyamightytidalwavethatwasbearinghimswiftlytowardsheavenonitssilvercrest.
Whenheawoke,thewave,sofarfrombeingabubble,seemedagrandspiritualreality,andhefeltasifhehadalreadyreachedaseventhheavenofvague,undefinedexhilaration.Neverbeforehadlifeappearedsorichapossessionandsofullofgloriouspossibilities.Neverinthepasthadhefelthisprofessiontobesonobleandworthyofhisdevotion,andneverhadthefamehehopedtograspbymeansofitseemedsonear.Beautybecametohimsoinfinitelybeautifulanddivinethathefelthecouldworshipitwereitonlyembodied,andthenwithastrangeandexquisitethrillofexultationheexclaimed:"Rightorwrong,tomyeyeitisembodiedinIdaMayhew,andshewillfillmystudiowithlightagainto-dayandmanydaystocome.Ifeveranartistwasfortunateinsecuringasafriend,asaninspiration,aperfectandbuddingflowerofpersonalandspiritualloveliness,Iamthathappyman."
TheVanBergofotherdayswouldhavecalledtheVanBergthatwaitedimpatientlyforhisgueststhatmorningarhapsodicalfool,andthegreaterpartoftheworldwouldoffernodissent.Theworldisverypronetocalleverymanwhoispossessedbyalittleearnestnessorenthusiasmafool,butitisusuallyanopenquestionwhichisthemorefoolish——theworldortheman;andperhapsweshallalllearnsomedaythattherewasmoreofsanityinourrhapsodiesthanintheshrewdcalculationsthatvergedtowardsmeanness.Bethisasitmayintheabstract,VanBergregardedhimselfasthemostrationalmaninthecitythatmorning.Hedidnottrytoaccountforhismentalstatebymustyandproverbialwisdomorlong-establishedprinciplesofpsychology.Theglad,strongconsciousnessofhisownsoulsatisfiedhimandmadeeverythingappearnatural.SinceheHADthisstrongandgrowingfriendshipforthismaiden,whowasevidentlypleasedtocomeagaintohisstudio,thoughsocoyandshyinadmittingit,whyshouldhenothaveit?Therewasnothinginhiscreedagainstsuchafriendship,andeverythingforit.
Menoftalent,nottomentiongenius,hadeversoughtinspirationfromthosemostcapableofimpartingit,andthisgirl'sbeautyandcharacterwerekindlinghismindtothatextentthathebegantohopehecouldnowdosomeofthefinestworkofhislife.Thefactthathefelttowardsherthestrongestfriendlyregardwasinitselfenough,andVanBergwastoogoodamodernthinkertodisputewithfacts,especiallyagreeableones.
Thepracticaloutcomeofthefriendshipwhichhelostnochanceofmanifestingthatmorning,wasthatMr.Mayhew,inaneasy,informalmanner,extendedhisinvitation,andtheartistacceptedinawaythatprovedhewasconstrainedbysomethingmorethancourtesyorasenseofduty,andConspiratorNumberTwowalkeddownBroadwaymutteringasdoallconspirators:"Thoseyoungpeopleareliabletostumbleintoparadiseatanymoment."
"HowdidyoumanagetogetthroughahotAugustdayintownafteryouwerereleasedfromdurancehere?"askedVanBerg.
"Idonotknowthatitrequiredanyspecialmanagement,"repliedIdademurely."IsupposeYOUtookanapafteryourseverelaborsofthemorning."
"Nowyouaresatirical.Mylaborwasallintheafternoon,forI
workedfromthetimeyouleftmetilldusk."
"Didn'tyoustopforlunchordinner?"exclaimedIda,withsurprise.
"Notamoment."
"Why,Mr.VanBerg,whatwasthematterwithyou?ItwillneverdoformetocomehereandwasteyourforenoonsifyoutrytomakeupsounmercifullyafterI'mgone."
"Youwereindeedaltogethertoblame.Somethings,likefinemusicoragreatpaintingor——ithappenedtobeyourselfyesterday——oftencausewhatIcallmyworkingmoods,whenIfeelabletodothebestthingsofwhichI'mcapable.Notthattheyarewonderfuloreverwillbe——theyaresimplymybestefforts——andIassureyouI'mnotfoolishenoughtowastesuchmomentsintheprosaictaskofeating."
"I'monlyamatter-of-factperson.Plainfoodatregularintervalsisveryessentialtome."
Helookedupatherquicklyandsaid:"Nowyouarementallylaughingatmeagain.IassureyouIatelikeanostrichaftermyworkwasover.IevenupsetthedignityofanurbaneDelmonicowaiter."
Idabitherlipassherecalledcertainresemblancesonherownparttothatsuggestivebird,butshesaidsympathetically:"Itmustberatherstupidtodinealoneatarestaurant."
"Ifounditinsufferablystupid,andI'mmoregratefultoyourfatherforhisinvitationthanyouwouldbelieve."
Idacouldscarcelydisguiseherpleasure,andwithmirthfuleyesshesaid:
"Really,Mr.VanBerg,youplacemeinquiteadilemma.Ifindthatinonemoodyoudonotwishtoeatatall,andagainyousayyouhavetheratherpeculiarappetiteofthebirdyounamed.NowI'mhousekeeperatpresent,andscarcelyknowhowtoprovide.Whatkindofviandsarebestadaptedtoartistsandpoets,and——"
"Andidiotsingeneral,youmightconclude,"saidVanBerg,laughing.
"Aftersittingsonearmeatthetableallsummeryoumusthavenoticedthatnothingbutambrosiaandnectarwillservemypurpose."
Ida'slaughingeyessuddenlybecamedeepanddreamyasshesaid:
"Thattimeseemsagesago.IcannotrealizethatwearethesamepeoplethatmetsoofteninMr.Burleigh'sdining-room,andincircumstancesthattomewereoftensoverydismal."
"PleaserememberthatIamnotthesameperson.Iwillesteemitagreatfavorifyouwillleavethemanyousawatthattimeinthelimboofthepast——thefartheroffthebetter."
第29章