首页 >出版文学> A Face Illumined>第12章

第12章

  Shehadnotseemedto-dayliketheshallowgirlwhohadhithertoacceptedofhismoreinnocentcomplimentsasiftheyweresugar-plums,andmerelyraisedherfingerinmockwarningatsuchascontainedaspiceofwickednessandboldness.Thereseemedacurrentofthoughtinhermindwhichhecouldnotfathom,andwhetheritwerecarryingherawayortowardhimhewasnotsure.Heunderstoodandwelcomedtheelementofrecklessness,butdidnotlikethewayinwhichshelookedatVanBerg,nordiditsuithispurposesthatsheshouldhearsomuchofwhathecharacterizedas"pioustwaddle."
  Hewhisperedagainbolderwordsthanhehadeverspokentoherbefore.
  "Iwishnobetterheaventhanthetouchofyourhandandthelightofyoureyes.See,themoonisrising;comewithme,forthisistheverywitchinghourforaramble."
  Sheturneduponhimastartledlook,forheseemedtheveryembodimentoftemptation.Butsheonlysaidcoldly:
  "Hush!Mr.VanBergisabouttosing,"andshesteppedsofarintothelightedroomthattheartistsawher.
  WhenMissBurtonrosefromthepianoshedidnotreturntoherseatintheparlor,butstoodintheshadowofthedoor-wayleadingintothehall.Thethoughtofherhymnhadcomesodirectlyfromherheart,thathereyeswereslightlymoistwithanemotionthatwasmoreplainlymanifestonmanyotherfaces.Theoldgentlemanwhohadaskedhertosinghadtakenoffhisspectaclesandwasopenlywipinghiseyes.
  Stanton,ashamedtohaveherseethefeelingshehadevoked,turnedhisbackuponherandslowlywalkeddownthecorridor.Shemisunderstoodhisactandthoughtitcausedbyindifferenceordislikeforthesentimentshehadexpressed.Hehadseemedtoherthusfaronlyasuperficialmanoftheworld,andthisactstruckherascharacteristic.Butbeyondthispassingimpressionshedidnotgivehimathought,andturned,withgenuineinterest,tolistentoVanBergwhohadsaidtoher:
  "IrememberafewsimpleverseswhichhavenomeritsavethattheyexpresswhatIwishratherthanwhatIam."
  Withmuchmorefeeling,andthereforepower,thanwashiscustom,hesangasfollows:
  "IwouldIknewTheebetter——
  Thattrustcouldbanishdoubt;
  Iwishthatfrom'theletter'
  ThySpiritmightshineout.
  Iwishthatheavenwerenearer——
  ThatearthweremoreakinTothehomethatshouldbedearerThantheonesomarredbysin.
  IwishthatdesertsdrearyMightblossomastherose,Thatsouls,despairing,weary,Mightsmileandfindrepose."
  BeforesingingthenextstanzahecouldnotforbearlookingtoseeifMissMayhewwerelistening,andthusithappenedthathisglancegavepeculiaremphasistothethoughtexpressed.Shewaslookingathimwithanintensityofexpressionthathedidnotunderstand.
  Nothingthathedidescapedher,andthequickflashofhiseyesinherdirectionunintentionallygavethefollowingwordstheforceandpointednessofanopenrebuke;
  "IwishthatoutwardbeautyWerethemirroroftheheart,ThatpurityanddutySupplantedwilyart."
  Hedidnotseethatwithasuddenflameofscarletinherfaceshesteppedbackontheduskypiazzaasabruptlyasifshehadreceivedablow.Hadhedoneso,hemightnothavesungaseffectivelytheremainingverses.Afterthefirstconfusedmomentofshameandresentmentpassed,shepausedonlylongenoughtonotewithasenseofreliefthatothershadnotseenormadeanysuchapplicationofhiswordsasshebelievedhehadintended,andthenshetookMr.
  Sibley'sarmandwalkedaway,leavingtheremaningtwoversesunheard——
  "IwishthatallwerebetterAndnearertotheirGod——
  Thatevil'sbrokenfetterWereburiedwithHisrod;
  Thatlovemightlastforever,Andwe,infuture,findThereisnopowertoseverThestrongandtrueinmind."
  AshesangthelastversetherewasalsoarapidchangeintheexpressionofMissBurton'sface.Therewassomethingofheroldpallorthathasbeenmentionedbefore.Shelookedathimquestioninglyamomentasiftoseeifhewereconsciouslymakinganallusionthattouchedherverynearly,andthen,seeminglyovercomebysomesuddenemotionthatshewouldgladlyhide,shequicklyvanisheddownthedimlylightedhallway,andwasseennomoreuntilshecamedowntobreakfastthefollowingmorning,assmilingandcheeryasever.
  "Confoundyou,Van,"saidStanton,astheartistescapedfromthethanksoftheaudienceintothehall,"Whatdidyouputinthatlastversefor?Youmadeherthinkofseeingherdeadfriendsagain,andsoshewasinnomoodtospeaktouspoormortalswhoarestillploddingoninthis'valeoftears.'I'dgivemyearsforaquietchatwithherto-night.ByJove,Ineverwassostirredupbefore,andcouldturnChristian,Mohammedan,Buddhist,oranythingelse,ifsheaskedmeto."
  "Ineithercase,Ik,"saidVanBerg,"yourworshipwouldbethesame,Iimagine,andwouldneverrisehigherthanthepriestess."
  "Curseitall,"exclaimedStantonimpetuously,"Ifeelto-nightasifthatwerehigherthanIcaneverrise.Ineverwasafraidofawomanbefore;butno'divinity'ever'hedgedaking'likethatwhichfillsmewithanindescribableawewhenIapproachthisunassuminglittlewomanwhousuallyseemsnomoreformidablethanaflickeringsunbeam.Iagreewithyounow.Shehasevidentlyhadsomedeepexperienceinthepastthatgivestohercharacterapoweranddepththatweonlyhalfunderstand.IwishIknewherbetter."
  "Good-night,"saidVanBerg,alittleabruptly;"Ithinkthatafterthisevening'sexperience,neitherofusisinthemoodforfurthertalk."
  Stantonlookedafterhimwithaloweringbrowandmuttered:"Ishesosensitiveonthissubject?ByJove.I'msorry!Ifearwemustbecomerivals,Van.Andyet,"headdedwithadespairinggesture,"whatchancewouldIhavewithhimagainstme?"
  "Icouldnotheardistinctly,"SibleyhadremarkedasIdatookhisarmandwalkedawayfromherpostofobservation."Wereyoudisgustedwithhispiouswailongeneralprinciples,ordidsomethinginhistheologyoffendyou?"
  "It'senoughthatIwasnotpleased,"sherepliedbriefly.
  "Littlewonder.I'msurprisedyoustooditsolong.VanBergandStantonarenicefellowstoleadaconventicle.IthinkI'lltakeahandatitmyselfnextSundayevening,andcertainlywouldwithyoursupport.I'llsaynothingofthesinger,butifyouwillgowithmetotherusticseatinyondershadywalk,I'llsingyouasongthatIknowwillbemoretoyourtastethananyyouhaveheardthisevening."
  "Pleaseexcuseme,Mr.Sibley;I'mafraidofthenightair."
  "Youareunusuallyprudent,"hesaid,alittletauntingly.
  "WhichprovesthatIpossessatleastonegoodquality,"shereplied.
  "PerhapsifMr.VanBergaskedyoutogoyouwouldtaketherisk."
  "PerhapsImight,"sheadmitted,halfunconsciouslyandfromthemereforceofhabit,givingthenaturalanswerofacoquette.
  "Hehadbetternotcrossmypath,"saidSibley,withsuddenvindictiveness.
  "Come,come!"repliedMissMayhew,withacarelesslaugh,"let'shavenohightragedy.I'minnomoodforitto-night,andyouhavenooccasionforalarm.Ifhecrossesyourpathhewillstepdaintilyoveritatrightangles."
  AtthatmomentVanBergcameoutonthepiazza.Althoughhecouldnothearherwords,herlaughandtonesjarredunpleasantlyonhisear.
  "Yonderisagenuineaffinity,"hemuttered,"whichIwasafooltothinkIcouldbreakup;"andwithaslightcontemptuousgestureheturnedonhisheelandwenttohisroom.
  "Icannotaltogetherunderstandyouthisevening,MissMayhew,"
  saidSibley,withsomeresentmentinhistone.
  "Youarenottoblameforthat,Mr.Sibley,forIdonotunderstandmyself.Ihavenotfeltwellto-day,andsohadbettersaygood-night."
  Butbeforeshecouldleavehimheseizedherhandandexclaimed,inhissoft,insinuatingtones:
  "Thatthenistheonlytroublebetweenus.NextSaturdayeveningIshallfindyouyouroldcharmingself?"
  "Perhaps,"washerunsatisfactoryanswer.
  Withastepthatgrewslowerandheaviereverymoment,shewenttoherroom,turnedupthelight,andlookedfixedlyatherselfintheglass,"IwishthatoutwardbeautyWerethemirroroftheheart,"
  sherepeatedinaudibly,andtheherexquisitelipcurledinself-contempt.
  "Ida,whatISthematterwithyou?"drawledhermother,lookingthroughtheopendoor-wayofheradjacentroom."Youactasifyouweredemented."
  "WhydidyoumakemewhatIam?"sheexclaimed,turninguponhermotherinasuddenpassion.
  "Goodgracious!whatareyou?"ejaculatedthatmatter-of-factlady.
  "I'masgoodasyouare——asgoodasoursetaverages,Isuppose,"
  sheansweredinaweary,carelesstone."Goodnight;"andsheclosedandlockedherdoor.
  "Oh,pshaw!"saidMrs.Mayhew,petulantly;"thosehymnshavemadeheroutofsortswithherselfandeverything.Theyusedtostirmeupinthesameway.Whycan'tpeoplelearntoperformtheirreligiousdutiesproperlyandthenletthematterrest;"andwithayawnsheretiredatpeacewithherselfandalltheworld.
  Idathrewherselfonaloungeandlookedstraightbeforeherwiththatfixed,vacantstarewhichindicatesthatnothingisseensavebytheeyeofthemind.
  "Father'sdrunkto-night,"shemoaned;"IknowitassurelyasifIsawhim.IalsoknowthatI'minparttoblameforit.Couldoutwardbeautymaskablackerheartthanmine?Itdoesnotmaskitfromhimwhosangthosewords,"andsheburiedherfaceinherhandsandsobbed,until,exhaustedanddisheartened,shesoughsuchpoorrestandrespiteasafewhoursoftroubledsleepcouldbring.
  ChapterXVIII.LovePuttoWork.
  OnthefollowingdaytherewastheusualbustleofchangeanddeparturethatischaracteristicofalargesummerresortonMondaymorning.StantonfoundMrs.Mayhewveryreadytooccupytheseatshehadobtained,andallthemoresofromhisstatementofthefactthatseveralothershadspokenforthem.
  "Ida,mydear,"calledhermother;"comehere,I'vegoodnewsforyou.Ikhasgotusoutofthatodiouscornerofthedining-room,andsecuredseatsforusatMr.VanBerg'stable."
  "Iwishnoseatthere,"shesaiddecisively.
  "Oh,itsallarranged,mydear;andagoodmanyotherswanttheseats,butIkwastooprompt."
  "I'llstaywhereIam,"saidIda,sullenly.
  "Andhaveeveryoneinthehouseaskingwhy?"addedStanton,provokingly."Mr.VanBergtreatsyouasagentlemanshould.Whycannotyouactlikealadytowardhim?IfIwereyouIwouldnotcarrymypreferencesfortheSibleystyleoffellowssofarthatIcouldnotbeciviltoamanlikemyfriend."
  "Youmisjudgeme,"criedIda,passionately.
  "Youhaveastrangewayofprovingit.Allthatisaskedofyouistositatthesametablewithagentlemanwhohaswontherespectandadmirationofeveryoneinthehotel,whosesocietyispeculiarlyagreeabletoyourmotherandmyself,andwhohasalsoshownunusualcourtesytowardsyoueversincehelearnedwhoyouwere.WhatelsecanIthink——whatelsecanothersthink,thanthatyourtasteleanssodecidedlytotheSibleystylethatyoucannotevenbepolitetoamanofhighcultureandgenuineworth?"
  "Youaretoosevere,Ik,"saidMrs.Mayhew."ForsomereasonthatIcannotfathom,Idadoesnotlikethisartist;andyetIthinkmyselfthatshewouldsubjectherselftoveryunpleasantremarksifshemadeanytroubleaboutsittingatthesametablewithhim."
  "Canyounotsee,"retortedIda,irritably,"thatIkhasnotconsideredusatall,butonlyhimself?HewishestobenearMissBurton,andwithoutgivingusanychancetoobject,hasmadeallthearrangementssothatwemusteithercomplyorelsebethetalkofthehouse.It'sjustapieceofhisselfishness,"sheconcludedwithtearsofvexationinhereyes.
  "Oh,comeIda!"saidhermothercoaxingly,"Icanseeonlyamole-hillinthismatter,andIwouldn'tmakeamountainoutofit.AsfarasIamconcerned,Ishouldenjoythechangeverymuch,and,asyousay,theaffairhasgonetoofarnowtomakeobjection.Idonotintendthateitheryouormyselfshallbethesubjectofunpleasantremark."
  Andsothematterwassettled,butIda'scoldnessandconstraint,whentheyallmetatdinner,veryclearlyindicatedthatthechangehadbeenmadewithoutherconsent.VanBergaddressedheraffablytwoorthreetimes,butreceivedbriefanddiscouraginganswers.
  "Yourcousinevidentlyisnotpleasedwiththenewarrangementyouhavebroughtabout.IcannotseewhatIhavedoneoflatetovexher."
  "I'lltellyouthetrouble.YouoffendherbynotbeingthecounterpartofMr.Sibley,"saidStanton,irritably.
  VanBerg'sbrowdarkened."Doyouthink,"heaskedinameaningtone,"thatsheunderstandswhatkindofamanheis?"
  "Oh,sheknowsthathecandance,flirt,andtalknonsense,andsheasksfornothingmoreandthinksofnothingfurther.I'moutofpatiencewithher."
  Stanton'swordscontainedthemostplausibleexplanationofIda'sconductthatoccurredtoVanBerg.Theepisodeinthestagehadmadethemacquainted,andherpreconceivedprejudiceandhostilityhadbeensofarremovedastopermitacertaindegreeofsocialcompanionship,whoseresultwouldnowseemonlyincreaseddislikeanddistaste.Ashesupposedshewouldexpressherself,"hewasnotofherstyle."HadshenotspentthegreaterpartofSundayafternoonandeveningwithSibley?Whatotherconclusionwastheresavethathewas"ofherstyle,"congenialbothinthoughtandcharacter!Andyethestillrefusedtoentertainthebeliefthatsherecognizedinhimmorethanafashionablemanoftheworld.
  Ifonlyastheresultofthepiqueoriginatingontheeveningoftheconcert,IdaMayhewhadstoodalooffromhim,hecouldhopetoremovethisearlyprejudicebybetteracquaintance.Butiffulleracquaintanceincreasedheraversion,thenhemustbelievethatthedefectsinhercharacterwereradical,inwroughtthroughthewholewebandwoofofhernature.Hecouldnotassumethe"Sibleystyle"ifhewould,andwouldnotifhecould,wereherbeautyahundred-foldgreater,werethatpossible.
  Hewasfastcomingtotheconclusion,therefore,thathemustabandontheprojectwhichhadsofascinatedhim,andwhosesuccesshadsostronglykindledhisimagination.Andyethedidsoreluctantly,veryregretfully,chafingasonlythestrong-willeddo,whenconfrontedandthwartedbythatwhichisonlyapparentlyimpossible,andwhichtheystillfeelmightandoughttobeaccomplished.
  "Ifeelastheoldalchemistsmusthavedone,"heoftenthought.
  "Hereisabasemetal.WhycanInottransmuteitintogold?"
  Butastheconvictionofhisimpotencegrewuponhimhefeltsomethinglikeresentmenttowardtheonewhohadthwartedhispurpose;andsoitnaturallyhappenedthatwhentheymetagainatthesupper-table,hiscoolandindifferentmannercorrespondedwiththatofMissMayhewtoadegreethatgaveheradeeperpainthanshecouldunderstand.
  "Whyshouldshecare?"sheaskedherselfahundredtimesthatevening.Buttheunpleasanttruthhourlygrewmoreplaintoherthatshedidcare.
  Stantonandhermotherquietlyignoredher"foolishpique,"astheytermedit.IntruththeformerwassopreoccupiedwithMissBurton,andwithjealousyofhisfriend,thathehadfewthoughtsforanythingelse.
  Headmittedtohimselfthathehadneverbeforebeensothoroughlyfascinatedandawakened;anditwasinaccordancewithhispleasure-loving,self-indulgentnaturetodriftonthisshiningtidewithersoeveritmightcarryhim.
  ButwithagrowingfeelingofdisquietudehesawthatVanBergalsowasdeeplyinterestedinMissBurton,and,whatwasworse,hethoughthedetectedanansweringinterestonherpart.
  Occasionally,whentheartist'sfacewasturnedawaysothatsheobtainedagoodprofileviewofit,Stantonobservedherlookingathimwithanexpressionwhichbothpuzzledandtroubledhim.Sheseemedtoforgeteverythingandeveryone,andtogazeforamomentwithawistful,longingintensitythathewouldgivehisfortuneforweretheglancedirectedtowardhimself.AndyetwhenVanBergaddressedher,soughthersociety,methersuddenly,therewasnoheighteningofcolor,noratraceofthe"sweetconfusion"thatisusuallyinseparablefromanewandgrowingaffectioninamaiden'sheart.
  Apartfromthisoccasion,furtive,andwistfullookduringwhichhercheekswouldgrowpaleandsheappearforthemomentobliviousofpresentsurroundings,hermannertowardtheartistwasasfrankandnaturalastowardanyoneelse.Itwasevidentthatshelikedandrespectedhim,butevenhisjealousycouldnotdetectthecertaintyofanythingmore.
  ButwhatwasthetendencyofVanBerg'smindtowardher?Thatwasthequestionwhichtroubledhimmoreandmoreeveryday.FromthetimeoftheirpartingonthepreviousSabbatheveningtherehadbeenagrowingreluctanceonthepartofeachtospeakofonewhosolargelyoccupiedthethoughtsofboth.Theoldjestandbanteraboutthe"schoolma'am"ceasedutterly,andtheymentionedheronlyoccasionallyas"MissBurton."Theoldfrankconfidencebetweenthemdiminisheddaily,andintheirsecretconsciousnesstheybegantorecognizethefactthattheymightsoonbecomeopenrivals.
  TheattitudeofVanBergtowardtheyoungstrangerwhohadsodeeplyinterestedhimfromthefirsthouroftheirmeeting,waspeculiarbutcharacteristic.Hisreasonapprovedofher.Neverbeforehadhemetawomanwhohadseemedendowedwithsomanyattractivequalities.Shewasnotbeautiful,——acardinalvirtuewithhim——butherfaceoftenlightedupwithsomethingsonearakintobeautyastoleavelittlecausetoregretitsabsenceandtheconvictiongrewuponhimthatthespiritenshrinedwithinthegracefulandfragileformwasalmostperfectionitself.
  Itbecameclearertohimeverydaythatsomedeepexperienceorsorrowhassothoroughlyrefinedawaythedrossofhernatureastomakeherseemtheembodimentoftruthandpurity.Whatthoughshestillmaintainedcompletereticenceastothepast,avoidingintheirconversationallallusiontoherself,asfaraspossible;
  hestill,inhisinmostsoul,knewhecouldtrusther,andthatwhilehersmilingface,likethesunlitripplingsurfaceofmountainlakesnotfaraway,mighthidedark,silentdepths,itconcealednothingimpure.
  Healsofeltthattherewasnooccasiontoimagineanydeepmysterytobepartofherpasthistory.Thefactsthatshewaspoorandorphanedsuggestedalltheexplanationsneeded,andhefeltsurethatthesorrowsshesosacredlyandunselfishlyshroudedfromthegeneralviewwouldbefranklyrevealedtothemanwhomightwintherighttocomfortandsustainher.
  Couldhewinthatright?Didhewishtowinit?Asdayafterdaypassedhefeltthisquestiontobegrowingmoreandmorevitallyimportant.
  Hewasnotonehebelievedwho,likeStanton,couldbecarriedawaybyasuddenandabsorbingpassion.Inanyandeverycase,reason,judgment,andtastewouldoffertheircounsel,andtheiradvicewouldbecarefullyweighed.Withincreasingdistinctness,thiscabinetwithinhisownbreasturgedhimtoobservethismaidenwelllestthechiefopportunityofhislifepassbeyondrecall.
  Andhedidstudyhercharactercarefully.Stanton,withthekeenpainofjealousy,andIdaMayhewwithadisquietandsinkingofheartthatshecouldnotunderstand,notedthatheveryquietlyandunobtrusivelysoughthersociety.Whenshespoke,helistened.
  Whenitwaspossiblewithoutattractingattentionhiseyesfollowedher,andyethisconductwasgovernedsothoroughlybygoodtasteandchivalricregardfortheladyherself,thatonlyeyesrenderedpenetratingbythepromptingsoftheheartwouldhaveseenanythingmorethanthegeneralfriendlinesswhichsheinspiredoneveryside.
  Stanton,onthecontrary,grewmoreundisguisedanddemonstrativeinhisattentions,althoughheaimedtoconcealhisfeelingunderthehumorousandbanteringstyleofaddressthatwashabitualwithhim.TheguestsofthehousewerenotverylonginrecognizinginhimanadmirerofMissBurton,buttheyimaginedthathisdevotionwascausedmorebyawishtowhileawayhisidlehoursthanfromanyothermotive;anditwasalsoquiteevidentthattheyoungladyherselftookthesameview.Shegavealightandhumorousaspecttoeverythingshesaid,andpermittedhimscarcelyanopportunityforasolitary"tete-a-tete."Invainheplacedhisbaysandbuggyatherdisposal.
  "Iamsocialandgregariousinmytastes,"shewouldreply,"andneedtheexhilarationofapartytoenjoymyself."
  ThusStantonwasledtoacourseofactiondecidedlyincontrastwithhispasttendencies.Hewouldattachhisbaystoaroomycarriage,givinghera"carte-blanche"inmakingupthepartyifshewouldbeoneofthenumber.Hewouldperspirelikeaheroinanyboatingexcursionorpicnicthatshewouldoriginate;andthusthefastidiousandelegantfellowoftenfoundhimselfinunwontedcompany,for,withaninstinctpeculiarlyherown,shesoonfoundoutthecomparativelypoorandneglectedinthehotel,andappearedtoderiveherchiefpleasureinenliveningtheirdulldays.
  Quick-wittedStantonearlylearnedthatthesurestwaytowinningasmilefromherwastobepolitetopeoplethat,hitherto,hehadhabituallyignored.ToMissBurtonherselfhemadenosecretofthefactthathiscoursewaspromptedonlybyadesiretopleaseher,butshesmilingpersistedinascribingitalltohisgood-natureandkindnessofheart.
  ChapterXIX.Man'sHighestHonor.
  VanBerghadnotbeenverylongindiscoveringthatMissBurtonhadarulingpassion,anditseemedtohimaratheruniqueone.
  Hewasfamiliarwiththemanyformsofself-seeking,commoninsociety;heknewofthosewhoweredevotedtoliterature,science,orsomefavoritecalling,ashewastohisart;hehadseenafewwhoapparentlysoaboundedingenialgood-naturethattheyrarelylostanopportunityofperformingakindact;andthereweremenandwomenintheworldwho,hebelieved,hadfullyconsecratedthemselvestotheworkofdoinggoodfromthepurestanddivinestmotives:buthedidnotrememberofeverhavingmetwithonewhosewholethoughtappearedbentondisseminatingimmediatesunshine.
  AndyetthisseemedtrueofMissBurton.Withadmirabletact,withatirelesspatience,andanenergyoutofproportioninonesofragile,shekeptherselfquietlyandunobtrusivelybusyamongthemiscellaneouspeopleofthehouse.Hercharitywaswideenoughforall.Wherevershecoulddiscovergloom,despondency,dulness,orpain,thereshetriedtoshinelikeasunbeam,asifthatweretheprimallawofherbeing.Sherarelysoughtto"dogood"intheordinaryacceptanceoftheterm;stillmorerarelydidshespeakofherownpersonalfaith;tocheerandtobrightenappearedtobeheroneconstantimpulse.Itwasevidentthatthishadbecomeakindofsecondnatureinhernow;butthethoughtoccurredmorethanoncetoVanBergthatshehadadoptedthiscourseatfirsttoescapefromherselfandherownunhappymemories.Everydayincreasedtheconvictionthatsorrowwastheblack,heavysoilthatproducedthisconstantbloomofunselfishdeeds.
  Beforetheweekwasovershegavehimspecialreasontobelievethatthiswastrue.Theywerewalkingupanddownthepiazzaoneeveningandhadbeentalkingwithmuchanimationonasubjectofmutualinterest.Butsheprovedthattherewasinhermindadeeperandstrongercurrentofthoughtthanthatwhichhadbeenapparent.
  Astheduskinessincreased,andasintheirpromenadetheirfaceswereturnedawayfromthosewhomighthaveobservedthem,shesaidalittleabruptlyandyetwithtremuloushesitancy:
  "Mr.VanBerg,doesyourphilosophyteachyoutobelieve,asyousung,onSabbathevening,that'ThereisnopowertoseverThestrongandtrueinmind?'"
  Beforeansweringheturnedtolookather.Herfaceseemedtostandoutfromthegloomofthenightwithalightofitsown,andwassowhiteandeagerastobealmostspirit-like.Histonesweresadashereplied:
  "IwishIcouldansweryouotherwisethanasImust,fortheimpulsetosaysomewordsofcomfort,whichIfeelyouneed,isverystrong.
  IonlysangofwhatIwishedonSundayevening.Ihavelittlephilosophy,andstilllessofdefinitebeliefinregardtothefuturelife.WhileIamnotatheoreticskeptic,allquestionsoffaitharetomesovagueandincomprehensiblethatIamapracticalmaterialist,andliveonlyinthepresenthour."
  "But,Mr.VanBerg,"shesaid,inalowtremuloustone,"canyounotunderstandthatsomepeoplecannotliveinthepresenthour,tryastheymay?Oh,howdesperatelyhardItrytodoso!Canyounotimaginethatsomethinginone'spastmaymakeafuturenecessarytosavefromdespair?IfIlostmyholdonthatfutureIshouldgomad,"sheaddedinawhisper."Howcananymaterialisticphilosophybetruewhenitfailsusandsobitterlydisappointsusinourneed?"
  "Idonotsayitistrue,"hereplied,earnestly."Indeedyourwordsandmannerprovetome,ascouldnolaboredargument,whatapoorsuperficialthingitis.Ifeel,withtheforceofconviction,thatitcannomoremeetyourneedthancouldthehuskswhichtheswinedideat."
  "Sinceyouweresincere,Iwillbealso,"shecontinuedinthesamelowtone,lookingawayfromhimintothedarkcloudysky."AsthehymnIsungmayhavesuggestedtoyou,Ihavenotgotveryfarbeyondmeresubmissionandhope.Somethinginmyownsoulaswellasinrevelationtellsmethatthereisa'happiershore,'andI
  amtryingtoreachit;buttheway,toooften,islikethatsky,utterlyopaqueandrayless."
  "Iregretmoredeeplythanyoucaneverknow,MissBurton,thatI
  findnothinginmyownknowledgeorexperiencetohelpyou.AllIcanofferismyhonestsympathy,andthatyouhavehadfromthefirst;forfromthetimeofourfirstmeetingtheimpressionhasbeengrowinguponmethatyourcharacterhadobtaineditspowerandbeautythroughsomedeepandsorrowfulexperience.ButwhileIamunabletogiveyouanyhelp,perhapsIcansuggestapleasantthoughtfromyourownillustration.Theblackcloudsyonderwhichseemtoyouatruetypeoftheshadowsthathavefallenacrossyourpath,are,afterall,butafilminthesky.Thesun,andamultitudeofotherluminousworlds,areshiningbeyondthemintheheavens.IwouldIhadyourchancesofreachinga'happiershore.'"
  "That'saprettysentiment,"shesaid,shakingherheadslowly;
  "butthoseluminousworldsareagreatwayoff,withcoldandvastreachesofspacebetweenthem.Besides,aluminousworldwouldnotdomeonebitofgood.Iwant——"shestoppedabruptlywithsomethinglikealowsob."There,there,"sheresumedhastilydashingawayafewtears."Ihaveoccupiedyourthoughtstoolongwithmyforlornlittleself.Ididnotmeantoshowthisweakness,buthavebeenbetrayedintodoingos,Ithink,becauseyouimpressedmeasbeinghonest,andIthoughtthatperhaps——perhapsyourman'sreasonmighthavethoughtofsomeargumentorprobablyconjecturerelatingtothesubjectthat,forcausesobvioustoyou,wouldbenaturallyinterestingtoonesoaloneintheworldasIam."
  "IamsorryindeedthatIneverusedmyreasontosogoodapurpose,"
  hereplied;"andyet,asIsaidatfirst,thesesubjectshaveeverseemedtomesoaboveandbeyondmyreasonthatIhavecarelesslygiventhemthego-by.MyprofessionhaswhollyabsorbedmesinceIhavebeencapableofanythingworththenameofthought,andtheworld,towardwhichyourmindisturning,issolargeandvaguethatIcannotevenfollowyou,muchlessguide."
  Shesighed:"Itisindeed'largeandvague.'"Thensheaddedinfirm,quiettones:"Mr.VanBerg,pleaseforgetwhatIhavesaid.
  Theweakmustshowtheirweaknessattimesinspiteofthemselves,andyourkindnessandsincerityhavebeguiledmeintoinflictingmyselfuponyou."
  "Youaskthatwhichisimpossible,MissBurton,"herepliedearnestly.
  "Icannotforgetwhatyouhavesaid,nordoIwishto.Ineednotassureyou,however,thatIregardyourconfidenceassacredasifitcamefrommyownsister.WillyoualsoletmesaythatIneverfeltsohonoredbeforeinmylifeasIhaveto-night,inthefactthatIseemedtoyourwoman'sintuitionworthyofyourtrust."
  Theywerenowturnedtowardsthelightthatstreameddimlyfromoneofthewindows.Shelookedupathimwithabright,gratefulsmile,butsheapparentlysawsomethinginhiseagerfaceandmannerwhichcheckedhersmileassuddenlyasifhehadbeenanapparition.
  shegavehimherhand,sayinghastily,"Good-night,Mr.VanBerg;
  Ithankyou.I——I——donotfeelverywell,"andshepassedswiftlytoasidedooranddisappeared.
  ChapterXX.AWretchedSecretthatMustbeKept.